17 Ngā Tohu Mamae Kāore tō Tāne e Aroha Ana ki a Koe

E mōhio ana koe ki tēnā kare ā-roto. He tino hē tetahi mea kei roto i tō kōrua marena, ā, kāore e taea e kōrua te whakarērea te whakaaro, "Kāore taku tāne e aroha mai ki ahau." Heoi anō, kei te noho tonu kōrua i roto i te marena tae noa mai ki tēnei wā. Kāore anō ia kia kōrero mō te wehenga, te whakarere rānei. Engari kotahi te mea e tino mārama ana: he makariri, he kore aro ki a koe.

Tērā pea ka noho pōhēhē koe. "He tohu ēnei kāore taku tāne e aroha ana ki ahau, kei te whakaaro nui rawa rānei ahau ki tēnei?" "Ki te kore taku tāne e aroha ki ahau, he aha ia i noho tonu ai ki ahau?" He uaua te whakaae me te whakaae ki te meka kua ngaro koe i te tangata i oati ki te aroha me te manaaki i a koe, i roto i te mate me te hauora, ahakoa pai, ahakoa kino. Ka taea e ia te whakangaro i aua moemoeā katoa mō te marena pai, harikoa.

Ahakoa te tono atu kia whakaae koe, kāore tō tāne e aroha ana ki a koe, he āhua kino tēnei. Engari, mā te noho whakakāhore, me te tatari kia taka te hu, ka roa ake tō mamae me tō pouri. Ki te mea kei roto i tō puku te kōrero pēnei, kia aro ki ngā tohu nui kāore tō tāne e aroha ana ki a koe. He karanga whakaoho tēnei, kāore e taea e koe te pēhi i te pātene moe.

17 Ngā Tohu Mamae Kāore tō Tāne e Aroha Ana ki a Koe

I pōuri a Carla i te āhua o tana marena. I ia rā, i ia rā, ka nui haere te tawhiti me te noho puku o tana tāne. "He tawhiti taku tāne, ā, kāore e aroha. Kāore taku tāne e aro mai ki ahau i te taha moepuku, i te taha kare ā-roto rānei. Ko te tikanga tēnei kāore ia e aroha ana ki ahau, ā, kei te raru taku marena ?" ka tahuri ia ki tana hoa pai, ki a Simone, mō ngā tohutohu.

Hei whakamarie i a ia, ka mea a Simone, "Ina ahua tawhiti, ka noho puku hoki tō tāne, he maha ngā take kei muri i tana whanonga kua rerekē. Tērā pea kei te mahi ia i tētahi mea, kei raro rānei i tētahi atu ahotea kāore ia e hiahia ki te whakapuaki ki a koe. Mena he wā poto noa iho, ka pahemo. Me tino mōhio koe ki ngā tohu kāore tana aroha i te pono i mua i te tuku i ēnei whakaaro kia mau ki roto i tō hinengaro."

Ehara i te wā poto. Kāore i memeha haere. I te ritenga kē, ka piki haere te mokemoke o Carla i roto i tana marena. Mena he rite te kōrero a Carla ki tāu ake, me aro koe ki ēnei tohu 17 kāore tō tāne e aroha ki a koe:

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1. Te āhua nei kei tawhiti tō tāne, ā, e hiahia ana ki te nui rawa o te wāhi

I te wā i hapu ai a Andrea rāua ko Ron, i whakatau rāua kia moe i te pō kotahi . I muri i ētahi tau, ka tīmata te puta o ngā raruraru. Ka haere a Ron i ngā wiki mutunga, ka whakaweto i tana waea pūkoro, ā, ka ngaro rawa atu ia mō ngā rā maha.

I te wā i whakapuakina ai e Andrea tōna riri mō tēnei āhua o tana mahi, ka whakahoki ia mā te kī, "Me wātea ahau. He tino whakamomori te noho tonu i roto i tēnei whare." "Ko tana hiahia mutunga kore mō te wātea me te wā mokemoke koia taku tohu tuatahi kāore taku tāne e aroha ana ki ahau," tana kōrero ki tētahi hoa i muri i te whakataunga o tana whakarere.

Ahakoa he pai te wāhi whaiaro i roto i te whanaungatanga, ā, ka waihanga wāhi mō te tipu, ka kino pea te hononga o te tokorua ki te nui rawa. Ko ētahi tohu e whakaatu ana ehara i te mea ko ōna rohe anake te hiahia o tō tāne ki te wāhi:

• He nui ake tana whakawhanaungatanga me ētahi atu tāngata i a koe me te whānau
• Ina whiriwhiria e tō tāne ngā hoa i ngā wā katoa, he tohu tēnā kei te karo ia i te noho tahi me koe.
• Ahakoa ka taea e ia te hoki ki te kāinga, he pai ake ki a ia te noho ki te tari
• Nā tana tono mō te wāhi ka whakaaro koe kāore ia e aro nui ana ki te wā kounga me koe

2. E kōrero ana ia me te mea kāore he tumanako mō tō kōrua marena

Ina kore tō tāne e aroha ki a koe, tera pea ka whakamahia e ia ngā raruraru o te marena hei tohu kua hinga tō kōrua hononga. He maha ngā pikinga me ngā hekenga o ia marena. Engari ko ngā tāne e aroha tonu ana tetahi ki tetahi ka ngana ki te wikitoria i ngā raruraru o te ara me te kore e tukua kia wehea rātou e ēnei. Heoi, ko te tāne kua wehe atu i te marena, kāore e kite i tētahi tumanako ka ora anō.

Ka kōrero ia mō tō kōrua whanaungatanga me te mea kua hinga kē, kua tata rānei te hinga. Hei tauira, ki te whakapuaki koe i tētahi āwangawanga ki a ia, ka pēnei pea tana whakautu, "Koia tonu. Kāore he mea hei mahi i konei. Me whakamātau koe, ā, me whakatau." Tērā pea ka waiho koe e te whakaaro, "Kāore e taea e au te kōrero ki taku tāne mō ōku kare ā-roto me ōku āwangawanga. Te āhua nei kāore ia e hiahia ki te whakaoti rapanga, engari ka whakamahia hei take hei whakamāmā i a ia mai i ahau."

Ko tēnei tetahi o ngā tohu o te tāne kore aroha, kore manaaki. Ko te pātai me aro atu koe inaianei ko: Me aha koe ina kore tō tāne e aro nui ki a koe, e aroha ana hoki ki a koe?

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3. He nui ake tōna aroha ki te mata i a koe

"Kāore taku tāne e aro mai ki ahau." Ka taea e tēnei mōhiotanga te whakapouri i te ngākau, me te tino mamae. Engari ina nui ake te aro o tō tāne ki āna taputapu i a koe, ka uaua ake te whakakore i tēnei kare ā-roto. Kua tae ki te wā ki te whakaae kāore tō tāne e aroha ana ki a koe i taua wā anō.

Ki te pau katoa te wā wātea o tō tāne me tōna mata e huna ana i roto i tana waea pūkoro, papahiko, papatohu kēmu, pouaka whakaata rānei, ki te mea he pai ake ki a ia te mātaki pouaka whakaata i te noho tahi me koe, he tohu tino kino tēnei kua ngaro tōna aroha, kua mutu tana aro ki a koe me tō kōrua marena. Ko te piki haere o tana hononga ki te ao mariko pea koinei tana huarahi kia kore ai e aro atu, e whakaae rānei ki ēnei kare āwangawanga. Kia tūpato, kua mau ēnei kare ā-roto i roto i tōna hinengaro, ā, kei te whakangaro te aro ki te hangarau i tō kōrua whanaungatanga.

Heoi, ki te mea koinei anake te tohu e mea ana koe, "Kāore taku tāne e aroha mai ki ahau, me aha ahau?", tirohia katoatia ana whanonga. Nā te urunga mai o ngā pāpāho pāpori, ngā taputapu, me ngā whakawhitiwhiti kōrero tere, ka mau tonu ngā tāngata whai whakaaro pai ki roto i tā rātou kupenga. Tērā pea ka pērā anō hoki mō tāu tāne.

4. Ina mutu te aroha o tō tāne ki a koe, ka kitea e ia he hapa i roto i ngā mea katoa e mahia ana e koe

"He tohu raruraru te kore aroha o te tāne, he tohu rānei tēnei mō te whakararuraru i a koe?" "Mehemea he wā uaua noa iho?" "Tērā pea kāore taku tāne e aro mai ki ahau?" "Ki taku whakaaro kāore taku tāne e aroha mai ki ahau, engari e kore ia e wehe atu. Ko te tikanga tēnei ka taea te whakaora i tō māua hononga?" Mena kei te pōuriuri tō hinengaro i ēnei feaa, kia aro ki tana tauhohenga ki a koe.

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu tekau mā whitu kāore tō tāne e aroha ki a koe ko tana kimi hapa i ngā mea katoa e mahia ana e koe. Te āhua o tō kākahu. Te āhua o tō āhua, tō huarahi ki te mātua, te āhua o tō tinana, tō "koretake" rānei ki te whakaiti i tōna taumaha, tō mahi, te kai e whakatakotoria ana e koe ki runga i te tēpu. Ko ia manawa e tangohia ana e koe te āhua nei ka whakapataritari i a ia, ka whakapataritari hoki i a ia. Ko ngā mea pai katoa e ngana ana koe ki te mahi māna ka hoki whakamuri mai.

Ahakoa kāore ia e whakahē nui ana i a koe mō ēnei mea katoa, ka taea e koe te rongo i tana whakahē mā roto i ana titiro, i ana āhua kanohi, me ana aue riri. He tohu mārama tēnei kei te kino tō tāne ki a koe nā te mea kua kore ia e aroha ki a koe, kua kore rānei e aroha ki a koe.

5. E mōhio ana koe he tāne kore aroha tāu ina mutu tana whai wāhi ki te marena

E mea ana a Sophie, i moe i tana hoa aroha o te kura tuarua, "I tīmata ahau ki te pōuri i te whakaaro kāore taku tāne e aro nui ana ki ahau, ki tā māua marena rānei i tana tīmatanga ki te karo i te kawenga. Ahakoa te whakatika i te pūwero turuturu i roto i te wharepaku, te whakatau rānei i te pakanga i roto i te marena, ko tana whakaaro he "ehara i taku mahi toi, ehara i taku makimaki".

"Nā te mea kua roa nei taku mōhio ki a ia, i tino kitea ai ōna kare ā-roto e rerekē haere ana. I mōhio noa ahau kāore taku tāne e aroha ana ki ahau i te wā i mutu ai tana whai wāhi ki te marena. Nā te mea, he nui ake te kōrero a ngā mahi i ngā kupu." Me pēhea te mōhio kua mutu te aroha o tō tāne ki a koe? Rapua ngā tohu e whakaatu ana i a koe kāore tō tāne e pai ki te whakapau kaha ki te marena:

• Ka mutu tana aro ki ō mahi, ki ō mahi o ia rā, ki tō oranga tinana hoki
• Kāore ia e whakaatu ana i te hiahia ki te whakangahau i tō whānau me ō hoa
• Ka tīmata ia ki te mawehe atu i ngā kawenga e pā ana ki ngā tamariki
• Kāore ia e noho roa ana ki te kāinga. Kāore ia i reira mōu.

6. Ina kore tō tāne e aroha ki a koe, ka mutu te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero

Whakawhitiwhiti Kōrero. Whakawhitiwhiti Kōrero. Whakawhitiwhiti Kōrero. Ko te Tapu o te whanaungatanga angitu . Mā te aroha pea kōrua e hono. Mā te whakawhirinaki, te whakaute tetahi ki tetahi, me te whakamoemiti pea e whakakaha i tō kōrua hononga. Engari mā te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero pono, hauora hoki e tautoko te whanaungatanga. Mai i te whakapuaki i ngā mea iti ki te kōrero i ō rerekētanga, ko te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero te mea e āwhina i a koe i roto i te wā roa.

Ina ngaro te aroha o tō tāne, ka ngaro tana hiahia ki te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero. Tērā pea ka rite ki te kore ia e hiahia ki te kōrero, kua mutu rānei tana kōrero ki a koe. Koinei tētahi o ngā tohu tino kitea kāore tō tāne i te aroha ki a koe.

Nā tēnei pea ka waiho koe kia pōuri. "E mea ana taku tāne kāore au i te aro," te tangi a koe. Kāore au i te pai ki te kōrero pono rawa atu, engari he tika taua whakaaro. Ahakoa kei te aro tonu ia ki a koe i tētahi taumata, kāore koe e aro nui ki a ia pērā i mua. Kāore koe i te mea nui i roto i tōna ao.

7. E kore te tāne kāore e aroha ki a koe e ngaro i a koe

"Kāore taku tāne e aroha mai ki ahau i ēnei rā, ā, e mamae ana," te kī a Tabatha ki tōna tuahine matua. I wehe atu tana tāne, a Mark, i tētahi haerenga pakihi i ngā wiki e toru kua pahure ake nei, ā, i roto i tēnei wā katoa, kāore rāua i kōrero tetahi ki tetahi i ngā wā maha. Ahakoa ngā mahi tonu a Tabatha ki te whakapā atu.

"Kāore ia e waea mai, e whakautu mai rānei i aku waea. Kāore ia e whakautu mai i aku karere kuputuhi. Ina kī mai koe kei te aroha ahau ki a koe, ā, kāore ia e whakahoki mai. Kua tekau ngā rā mai i tā māua kōrero whakamutunga. Kua mutu tana mahi tuku karere kuputuhi ki ahau. Ki taku mōhio, kua taea e ia te oma me tētahi atu, te hinga atu rānei i te mata o te whenua," tana kī me te tino pouri.

I tā rāua waeatanga whakamutunga, i te wā i pātai atu ai ia ki a ia, "E Mark, me te mea kua kore tāua e kōrero ana. Kāore koe e ngaro i ahau?" Ka whakahoki ia, "He pukumahi rawa ahau, kāore au i te whakaaro ki a koe." Ahakoa kua roa ia kāore i te rongo i te arohaina, nā taua kōrero i aro atu a Tabitha ki te pono i karohia e ia i ngā wā katoa - "He tohu ēnei kāore taku tāne e aroha ana ki ahau i ēnei rā."

8. Mā te riri ka kitea tōna kare ā-roto mōu

"Kāore taku tāne e aroha ki ahau, engari e kore hoki e whakarērea ahau. He aha ai?" te whakaaro nui a Joseline i muri i tētahi atu pakanga kino. Me te mea nei ko te pakanga anake tā rāua i mahi ai i ngā rā tata nei. I muri mai i ēnei pakanga ko ngā wā roa o tana whakamā ki a ia . "Ka wareware taku tāne ki ahau mō ngā rā, ā, ka mahi ia me te mea kāore au i te ora," tana tangi, ā, ka whakatau kua tae ki te wā ki te kōrero ki te arewhana i roto i te rūma. Nō reira, i taua pō, ka whakatau ia ki te aro atu ki a ia me tēnei pātai. "Kāore koe e aroha ana ki ahau i ēnei rā. Nō reira, he aha e kore ai e haere noa? He aha tēnei mahi tinihanga?" tana pātai, me te mamae me te riri.

"Me i taea e au, kua roa kē ahau e wehe atu ana. Engari he tamāhine tāku kei a koe, ā, e hiahia ana ahau kia noho ki roto i tōna ao. Ehara te whakarere i te mea he kōwhiringa nā te mea ka taea e au te kī ka tangohia ia e koe i ahau. Ā, he tika rawa tāu, kua roa nei kāore au i aroha ki a koe," tana whakakitenga me te riri nui. Ka kōrero kino te tangata ina riri.

Ina kino rawa tō tāne ki tēnei taumata, ae, ka mamae pea. Engari ki te mea kua roa rawa te whakaaro kei te hē tetahi mea, me whakarongo koe ki ana kupu. Kia tau te rangimārie, i te wā tika, pātai atu ki a ia he aha te tikanga o tana kōrero. Tirohia mēnā ka kōrero ia ki a koe, ka ngana ki te huna, ka whakapāha rānei mō āna kōrero. Whakawhirinaki ki tō ngākau.

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9. Ngā tohu kāore tō tāne e aroha ana ki a koe – Ka memeha haere te whanaungatanga piripono

He aha ētahi o ngā tohu mārama kāore tō tāne i te aroha ki a koe? Anei tētahi e kore e taea e koe te hē: kua ngaro te whanaungatanga piripono i roto i tō marena. Ki te kore tō tāne e aroha ki a koe, ehara i te mea ka kore ia e tīmata i te moepuku engari ka whakakahoretia hoki e ia tō tono.

"Ka neke atu taku tāne ina ngana ahau ki te kihi i a ia." "He aha taku tāne e kore ai e pā mai ki ahau?" "Ko te kore o te whanaungatanga ā-tinana kei te pā kino ki tā māua marena." Ko ēnei momo whakaaro kino ka noho hei āhuatanga tonu ina pāngia kōrua e te wā uaua, ā, te āhua nei kāore ō raruraru marena e memeha haere.

Ki te waimarie koe, tera pea ka whiwhi koe i tētahi wā o te moe aroha mai i a ia, engari kāore e rite te āhua. Ahakoa kei roto koe i te mahi, ka taea e koe te rongo kei tawhiti ia, kua momotu hoki i a koe. Koinei tētahi o ngā huarahi tino pouri ki te mōhio kāore tō tāne e aroha ana ki a koe. Kaua te kore o te whanaungatanga piripono e mutu noa mai i te kore o te moepuku. Rapua ētahi atu o ngā tohu e whai ake nei kia mōhio ai koe kei te pāngia koe e ngā raruraru piripono:

• Kua mutu tana tīmatanga i te moepuku
• Ahakoa he piripono kōrua, he āhua tawhiti tonu ia
• Ahakoa he auau tā kōrua moe tāne, engari kāore ia e whakaatu i tētahi whanaungatanga piripono.
• Kāore ia e pupuri i tō ringa, e pā atu ki a koe, e kihi i a koe, e titiro aroha mai ki a koe
• Kei te pāngia hoki koe e te korenga o te whanaungatanga kare ā-roto

10. E rite ana te tāne kore aroha ki te tangata tauhou

I te korenga o te aroha, ka nui haere te tawhiti i waenganui i ngā hoa rangatira. Ki a Hope, ko te whakaaro kāore tana hoa rangatira i te rite ki a ia i ahu mai i te mea kāore ia i te mōhio ki a ia. Ehara ia i te tangata i arohaina e ia, i moe ai hoki.

"Kua roa māua e raru ana. Ka roa māua e kōrero ana tetahi ki tetahi, ā, ahakoa i kōrero māua, ko te nuinga o te wā he kōrero mō ngā mea nui – ngā tamariki, te whare, ngā pūtea, me ērā atu mea. Kātahi, i tētahi rā, ka kite ahau i a ia e ruia ana ngā rau tī ki roto i te kohua, kaua ki te inu i tana kawhe pango i te ata."

"I taku pātai atu ki a ia mō tēnei mea, i mea ia kua mutu tana inu kawhe i ngā marama e rua kua pahure ake nei i runga i te taunakitanga a tētahi hoa mahi kua roa nei rāua e noho tahi ana. Kātahi ka pā mai te whakaaro ki ahau: kāore taku tāne e aroha ana ki ahau, ā, tērā pea, kāore hoki ahau e aroha ki a ia. Me pēhea rā ahau i te mea kua tata te tangata nei te noho hei tauhou ki ahau?" te kī a Hope. I ētahi wā ko ngā mea iti e arahi ana ki ngā kitenga nui pērā i te kore o te aroha me te kore o te aroha i roto i te whanaungatanga he tohu whakatūpato kei te kore pea te aroha i roto i tō kōrua marena.

11. Kāore tō tāne e mahi i tetahi mea hei whawhai mō te whanaungatanga

Ko ngā tikanga whakatau tautohe pakari te tohu o tētahi whanaungatanga hauora . Ina kei roto koe i tētahi marena e ōrite ana te whakapau kaha o ngā hoa e rua, ka whawhai kōrua nā te mea e hiahia ana kōrua ki te mea pai mō tō kōrua whanaungatanga. I ētahi wā, he rerekē rawa ō kōrua whakaaro mō te mea 'pai', ā, ka hua ake he tautohe.

Ahakoa rā, kāore koe e ngākau rua. Ka ngana koe. Ka whawhai koe, ka tautohe koe, ka kimi i tētahi ara waenga. Ko tētahi o ngā tohu kāore tō tāne e aro nui ana ki a koe ko te kore o tō tāne e whawhai mō te whanaungatanga. Ka whakaae noa ia ki tāu e kī ai. Ki te puta he pakanga ahakoa tērā, kāore tō tāne e mahi i tetahi mea hei whakatau i te pakanga. Ko koe te tangata me whai i te kaupapa matua hei whakarite i te rangimārie.

Ahakoa he taupatupatu kei waenganui i a kōrua, kāore e pā ki a ia. I roto i te wā, ka pā pea tēnei kore aro ki a koe anō hoki. Ina pā mai te whakaaro "Kua mutu taku kōrero ki a ia, ā, kāore ia e aro mai", ka mātao pea koe, ka kore hoki e aro ki a ia.

12. He nui ake te tūponotanga ka riri ia, ka totohe tonu

I te mea kei te tawhiti ia i a koe i roto i ngā kare ā-roto, ā, me noho tonu ia ki te whakapuaki i tōna ao ki a koe, tera pea ka riri ake ia, ka noho pōuri hoki i ngā wā katoa. Ko tētahi o ngā tauira e tuku ana i te tohu "kāore taku tāne e aro mai ki ahau, kāore hoki e aroha mai ki ahau" ko tana āhua ki te totohe me te whakatū i ngā tautohe i ngā wā katoa. Ahakoa kāore pea ia e hiahia ki te whawhai mō ngā mea nui, ki te whawhai rānei mō ngā mea iti, ka tino hiahia ia ki ngā mea iti.

Hei tauira, ko te mea iti noa iho pēnei i te whakaroa i te parakuihi, i te wareware rānei koe ki te tango i te para i te wā e tae mai ana tō wā, ka whakapataritari i a ia. Ka whakamahia e ia ēnei hapa iti hei take hei riri me te wehe atu i a koe. He huarahi noa iho tēnei hei hanga i te tawhiti i waenganui i a kōrua. Mena koinei te wāhi i roto i tō marena, he tohu mārama tēnei mō te kino o ngā mea kua pā mai. Me kimi e koe te whakautu ki te aha me mahi ina kore tō tāne e aro nui ki a koe, ā, me arotake mēnā ka taea e kōrua te whakatau i te raruraru.

13. He āhua pakari ngā taiepa e karapoti ana i a ia ina mutu te aroha o tō tāne ki a koe

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu tekau mā whitu kua kore tō tāne e aroha ki a koe, ko te kore ia e tuku i a koe ki roto i tōna ao. Tērā pea ko kōrua ko ia tonu hei hoa noho, e noho tahi ana i te whare kotahi, engari kāore kōrua e mōhio ki ngā āhuatanga o tōna ao. Wareware ki te noho tahi, ki te mahi i ngā mea whakamere, ki te whakapakari i tō kōrua hononga, kāore hoki koe e mōhio ki ngā āhuatanga taketake o tōna ao.

I whiwhi ia i te aromatawai i tika kia whiwhi ia? He whakaaturanga nui kei te mahi i tēnei wiki? Kei hea ia e kai tina ana i ēnei rā? Ko wai ia e noho tahi ana? He aha te whakaaturanga Netflix e matakitaki nui ana ia? Ki te kore koe e mōhio ki ngā whakautu ki ēnei pātai, kei tō ringaringa he whanaungatanga pakaru.

Tērā pea ka waiho koe e tēnei kia pōrearea i te whakaaro "kāore taku tāne e aroha mai ki ahau i ēnei rā, ā, e mamae ana". E mārama ana ahau ki a koe. He wā pai tēnei ki te tīmata ki te whakamahere i ngā mahi e whai ake nei hei whakahoki mai i tō oranga me tō harikoa.

14. Me pēhea te mōhio ina kore tō tāne e aroha ki a koe? Tērā pea ka moe ia i te whakarere i a koe

E hiahia ana ahau ki te whakamārama i te tīmatanga, ehara ko te whakarere moe anake i roto i ngā tohu kāore tō tāne e aroha ki a koe. Tērā pea ko ngā raruraru moe, ko ngā whanonga ngongoro rānei kei te whakauaua i a kōrua ki te moe tahi. Kāore he aha. Ahakoa he rerekē ō kōrua rūma moe, ka taea e kōrua te whai hononga kaha.

Heoi, ki te kite koe i te nuinga o ngā tohu 17 kāore tō tāne e aroha ana ki a koe i roto i tō kōrua marena, ā, i tua atu i tēnā, ka whakatau tō tāne ki te moe i tētahi atu rūma, he nui ngā take hei mataku ai koe. Kāore he aroha mai i te tāne me te hiahia ki te wehe atu i a koe e tohu ana kua mutu pea ia i te marena.

15. Ka mutu te whakamahere a te tāne aroha kore mō te heke mai

I tae a Ursula ki te māramatanga "kāore te tāne e aroha ki ahau" i tana kitenga kua mutu tana hoa rangatira ki te whakarite mahere mō te heke mai me ia. "I hiahia ahau ki te haumi ki tētahi whare kaumātua, ā, i whiwhi māua i tētahi utu whakamiharo mō tētahi whenua o waho o te tāone engari te āhua nei kāore ia i te aro."

I te akiaki tonu a Ursula, ka mea ia, "Ko wai ka mōhio ki te āhua o te heke mai? Kāore e taea te kī mēnā kei te marena tonu māua i muri i aua tau katoa. Nō reira, kāore he tikanga o te haumi nui ki tētahi mea tawhiti." "I rite ahau ki te mea kua hinga katoa tōku ao ki ahau. Kāore taku tāne i aroha ki ahau, ā, he mea noa iho te wā i mua i te mutunga o te marena," te kī a Ursula, kua whakarerea inaianei.

Ka taea e te whakamutu i te whakamahere mō te heke mai te whakaatu i roto i ngā huarahi rerekē:

• Te tuku te puremu moni
• Kāore e whakamahere ana i ngā hararei ā muri ake nei i te wā kua waiho hei tikanga noa iho
• Te tango moni mai i ngā haumitanga ki ngā rawa
• Kāore e whakaatu ana i te hiahia ki ngā whāinga a te hoa
• Kāore e whakapuaki ana i ā rātou ake whāinga me ā rātou mahere
• Te tango mārire i te hiahia mai i te whakamahere i tētahi rā, i tētahi haerenga mutunga wiki, i tētahi pāti ki te kāinga

16. He nui ake tōna aroha me tōna atawhai i a koe

Ina kore tō tāne e aroha ki a koe, kāore he aroha i roto i te whanaungatanga. Kei roto koe i tētahi tūranga e waiho ana koe kia whakaaro, "Kāore taku tāne e aroha ki ahau i ēnei rā, engari kāore e wehe atu, he aha ai?" Kātahi pea ka kitea e koe he mea e pā ana ki tēnei tauira whanonga.

Ko te hoa kāore anō kia rite ki te whakarērea i a koe engari kei te whakaatu tonu i ngā tohu kāore ia e aro nui ana ki a koe, ka huri ia ki te whanonga pukuriri-kore . Ko tētahi tohu pea he nui ake tana aroha ki ētahi atu i tana aroha ki a koe. Tērā pea kei te ngana ia ki te whakamārama i tētahi whakaaro, kei te mahi pōhēhē rānei ia. Ahakoa pēhea, kāore ngā mea e pai ana mō tō kōrua whanaungatanga.

"E atawhai ana taku tāne i ahau me te mea kāore au i te tino hirahira, engari he atawhai, he manaaki hoki ki te katoa. Mai i ā māua tamariki ki te kurī, ki tōna whānau me ōna hoa, tae atu ki tōku whānau me ōna hoa, e manaaki ana ia i te katoa me te whakaute, te aroha, me te ngākau aroha. Mōku nei, ko tana anake he whakahawea me te kawa. Kāore au i te mōhio me pēhea māua i wehe atu ai ki tēnei taumata, me te aha rānei i puta ai tēnei huringa o tana whanonga, engari e mōhio ana au kāore taku tāne i te aroha, i te aroha rānei i ēnei rā nā te mea kua kore ia e aroha ki ahau. Kei te haere pōturi te mate o taku marena," te kī a Stevie.

17. Ko te tinihanga tētahi o ngā tohu kāore tō tāne i te aroha ki a koe

Ae, he maha ngā take e tinihanga ai te tangata, ehara i te mea nā te mea kua kore e aroha ki ā rātou hoa rangatira anake. Mai i te rapu i ngā mea hou me te hou ki te whakahihiri o te reka o te hua rāhui, he maha ngā āhuatanga e akiaki ana i te tāne ki te tinihanga i tana wahine, i te rerekē rānei. Heoi, ki te mea ehara i te mea kua tinihanga noa tō tāne engari kua aroha hoki ki tētahi atu wahine, ā, kua waiho taua whanaungatanga hei kaupapa matua māna tae noa ki te wā e pai ai ia ki te patu i tana marena mō taua mea, kāti ko tētahi o ngā tohu kāore tō tāne i te aroha ki a koe.

Me pēhea te mōhio kua mutu te aroha o tō tāne ki a koe, e pātai ana koe? Mēnā kei te puremu tō hoa i roto i te ngākau , me te kore e pouri, kei roto tō marena i te raruraru nui. He mea tino uaua te whakaora i te marena e kore nei tetahi o ngā hoa rangatira e hono atu ki tētahi atu, engari e piri ana hoki ki tētahi atu. Kua tae koe ki te wā e whakaaro ai koe, "Kāore he aroha i roto i te marena. Kāore taku tāne e aro mai ki ahau i runga i te moepuku, i te ngākau rānei. Ehara ia i te tāne kotahi i moea e au, me aha ahau?" Nā, me aha koe? Kia kitea tātou.

Me aha koe mēnā kāore tō tāne e aroha ana ki a koe i muri mai

"Kāore taku tāne e aroha mai ki ahau i ēnei rā" – ko te whakaae ki tēnei tetahi o ngā mea tino uaua rawa atu ka mahia e koe. Heoi anō, ki te mea kei te aroha tonu koe ki a ia. Engari ki te kite koe i ēnei tohu mārama i roto i tō marena, he tohu kāore tō tāne e aro nui ana ki a koe, me mahi koe i ngā mahi hei tiaki i a koe anō.

He mea pai ki a koe te paunatia ō whiringa, me te whakatau i a koe anō, kaua e noho noa, e tatari kia tono whakarere ia. Anei ngā mea hei mahi ina kore e aroha tō tāne ki a koe:

• Whakaaetia te mooni: Hoatu he wā me te wāhi ki a koe anō kia mārama ai koe he nui atu ngā āhuatanga uaua o tō hoa rangatira, ā, kua kore te aroha o tō hoa rangatira ki a koe.
• Whakapaua te wā ki te tukatuka: Tukua koe kia tangi, rapu tautoko, me te whakapuaki kia taea ai e koe te whakahaere i tēnei uira kua pā ki a koe. He tika ō kare ā-roto. Kāore he mea e pā ana ki a koe he tauhohenga nui rawa.
• Whakatauhia taau e hiahia ana: Nā te mea kua mōhio koe kāore tō tāne e aroha ana ki a koe, kei te hiahia tonu koe ki te whakaora i tō marena, ki te wehe rānei i a kōrua? Whakapaua te wā ki te whakatau i tāu e hiahia ana ki te mahi ina kore tō tāne e aroha ki a koe.
• Kōrero ki tāu tāne: Kia tae rā anō koe ki tētahi whakatau, kōrero ki tō tāne, tirohia mēnā kei te rite tana whakaaro ki a kōrua. Ki te hiahia anō hoki ia ki te whakaora i te marena ahakoa tōna kore aroha ki a koe, he tohu pai tēnā, ā, tera pea he tumanako ka taea e kōrua te whakaara anō i tō kōrua hononga. Heoi, ki te kore ia e hiahia ki te whakahaere i ngā mea, he pai ake pea māu te tuku atu.
• Rapua he āwhina hei whakaora i tō marena: Ki te whakatau kōrua ki te mahi ki te whakaora i tō kōrua marena, ko te tohutohu marena pea te huarahi pai rawa atu mā kōrua ki te rapu i te pūtake o ngā take i puta ai tēnei āputa i waenganui i a kōrua i te tuatahi, me te whakatau i tō kōrua rerekētanga. Tērā pea kei te tino whakaaro koe, "Me pēhea te whakahoki mai i te aroha o taku tāne ki ahau?", engari kia mahara, kāore he tokotoko makutu hei whakaoho i te pātene aroha i roto i te ngākau o tāu tāne. Me mahi tonu ō kōrua taha e rua ki te hanga anō i tēnei hononga.
• Me whai wā okiokinga hei haere atu: Ki te kore tō tāne e hiahia ana ki te whakaora anō i te marena, he pai ake mā kōrua te wehe atu. Kōrero ki a ia mō ngā mahi hei wehewehe i ō kōrua oranga, te tiki i tētahi rōia whakarere, me te whakamahere i ngā mahi e whai ake nei. I taua wā anō, kia aro ki tō hauora kare ā-roto, ā, tukua koe kia haere i roto i ngā mahi. nga wahanga o te pouri kia taea ai te whakaora me te neke whakamua i tētahi wā
• Whakamāramahia anō ngā tikanga o tō marena: Ki te kore tō tāne e aroha ki a koe engari kāore e pai ki te wehe atu, kāore rānei koe i te tūranga hei wehe atu, he pai pea te tautuhi anō i ngā tikanga o tō kōrua marena. Tērā pea, whakatuwheratia te marena, ā, whakaae kia kite i ētahi atu tāngata kia kore ai e pehia ngā matea hinengaro me ngā matea tinana i roto i te tukanga o te pupuri i tēnei anga kau o te marena.

He uaua ki te noho whakaaro kore mō tō whanaungatanga. Tērā pea kua kite tonu koe i ēnei tohu engari kāore koe i pai ki te whakamārama nui atu, ki te whakaae rānei ki te tikanga o ēnei tohu. Nā te mea kua mārama kē koe ki te āhua o te ngaro o te aroha o tō tāne ki a koe, kaua e titiro kē atu. Kāore he huarahi kē atu hei whakatau i tēnei āhuatanga engari ko te tuku i a koe anō ki roto i te raruraru o ngā kare ā-roto, me te whakatau ko tēhea te huarahi e hiahia ana koe ki te haere atu i konei.

Kua whakahoutia tēnei tuhinga i te Pipiri 2023.

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