He kaupapa tino whakamere tonu te motuhaketanga – inā koa ka kōrerohia i roto i te horopaki o te whanaungatanga. He aha te tikanga o te motuhaketanga – ā, he aha rawa te tikanga ina whakaaro te tāne ki te motuhaketanga?
He maha ngā tāne e pōhēhē ana i tēnei āhuatanga o te motuhaketanga, ā, nā tēnei, ka pōhēhē te nuinga o ngā wāhine ki ngā whakaaro o ngā tāne. Tērā pea ka puta he rerekētanga me ngā wehewehenga i roto i ngā whanaungatanga, i te wā rānei e tata ana ki te whai hononga.
Ehara i te mea uaua te tikanga o te noho motuhake ki tētahi. He tino māmā te kupu "motuhake" – ko tōna tikanga he whai wāhi nui ki tētahi mea anake. I roto i te horopaki o tētahi whanaungatanga, he rite te noho motuhake ki te noho takitahi, te noho tahi rānei me te tangata kotahi me te piripono ki taua tangata anake.
I ētahi wā, ka tīmata te whakaipoipo a te tangata, ka hiahia rātou kia ōrite te āhua, kia whakamātau hoki i mua i te whakaae ki tētahi tangata e hiahia ana rātou ki te piripono.
He aha te tikanga o te motuhake ki te tāne?
Ripanga o Ihirangi
Ko te wā i mua i te noho motuhake i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga ka taea te kī he wā 'i mua i te motuhake'. Koinei te rerekētanga matua i waenga i te whakaipoipo noa me te whakaipoipo motuhake. He maha ngā tāne e kite ana i a rātou anō e whakamātau ana i tēnei wā nā te mea he paku noa ake te aro o ngā tāne ki tētahi atu. kia tūpato kei whakapau kaha rātou ki tētahi mēnā kāore rātou e kite i te hiahia, i te momo tino pai rānei i roto i ō rātou hototahitanga aroha me ngā kare ā-roto.
Tērā anō te wā e noho motuhake ana, engari kāore i te whaimana. Ko te tikanga o tēnei kua tino piripono kōrua, ā, kāore e taea e kōrua te kite i ētahi atu tāngata. Heoi, kāore kōrua i te whaimana mō te āhua o tō kōrua whanaungatanga, kāore hoki kōrua e karanga ana i a kōrua he hoa tāne, he hoa wahine rānei i mua i ō hoa, i tō whānau rānei. He ahua uaua te ahua i te tīmatanga engari whakapono mai ki a mātou, ehara. Nā, he aha te mea e hiahia ai te tāne kia motuhake?
Ki taku whakaaro ka taea e tātou te kī, ina kua tino rapu haere ngā tāne, kua tūhura, ā, kua kitea he tangata motuhake, ka hiahia pea rātou ki te tīmata i tētahi whanaungatanga motuhake, ā, he mana anō hoki. He aha ngā whakaaro o ngā tāne mō te 'motuhake'? Kia rapua e tātou.
Te pānui e pā ana: Teiti Motuhake: Ehara i te mea he whanaungatanga pumau
1. Te hononga tinana me te hononga kare ā-roto
Āe – he rerekētanga kei waenganui i te motuhaketanga ā-tinana me te motuhaketanga ā-hinengaro. He maha ngā tāne e ngana ana ki te kimi huarahi hei whai hononga hoa-me-painga me tētahi wahine e whakaae ana, kaua e whakawhāitihia te whanaungatanga katoa ki tētahi herenga.
Ina pā tēnei ki te wahine takakau, ka taea te kī he motuhake ā-tinana – arā, ka noho tahi te tāne me tētahi atu tangata anake i roto i te tinana.
Ehara tēnei i te kī kei roto te tokorua i tētahi hononga (mēnā e mārama ana ki te tokorua) ā, he mea tēnei e mahia ana e te tini o te tangata i ēnei rā. He mea motuhake engari ehara i te mea whaimana. Mā tēnei hoki ka taea e te tini o ngā tāne te mawehe atu i ngā hononga kare ā-roto me te hinengaro – kāore pea rātou e hiahia ki te whakapau i ō rātou wā ki ēnei mea.
2. Ka hoatu e ngā tāne he tohu e hiahia ana rātou kia motuhake
I ētahi wā ka ngana ngā tāne ki te kī atu ki ō rātou hoa e hiahia ana rātou (kāore rānei e hiahia ana) ki te noho i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga motuhake, mā te tuku i ētahi tohu. He maha ngā wā, ka uaua ki ngā tāne te kōrero tika mō ēnei mea – nō reira ka tahuri rātou ki te whanonga "motuhake".
Tērā pea ko te kore e hiahia ki te noho tahi me ētahi atu tāngata, ki te whakapau kaha rānei ki te mahi i ngā mea katoa e hiahiatia ana e rātou. ngā mea motuhake mō tā rātou hoa rangatira e whai hua ana i te taumata kare ā-roto, kaua i te taumata tinana anake, e noho tahi ana me ngā hoa me te whānau o tā rātou hoa, ā, ka pouri noa iho hoki i te whakaaro ka ngaro atu rātou.
He huarahi ngāwari ngā tohu ki te mōhio mēnā kei te hiahia te tāne kia motuhake tonu; ki te kore ia e mahi i tētahi o ngā mea o runga ake nei, tera pea kāore ia i te tino whakatau kia noho motuhake ki a koe.
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3. Kāore ia e whakaaro ki ngā mahi whakatairanga a ētahi atu
Kua tae atu koe ki tētahi karapu, ki tētahi pae inu, ki tētahi pāti rānei (ki hea rānei) me tētahi tāne, ā, kua kite koe i tana reo tinana? Ki te mea kei te taha koe o tētahi e hiahia nui ana kia pāngia ia e ētahi atu tāngata i tōna taha, inā koa i roto i tētahi wāhi pērā i te pae inu, i tētahi pāti rānei, he mārama kei te hiahia taua tāne ki te noho tahi me ētahi atu tāngata.
Ko te noho motuhake ki tētahi tāne ko te pupuri tonu ki tana hoa rangatira – engari ki te mea ko koe hopukia ia e tirotiro ana ētahi atu tāngata, e whakaae ana rānei ki ngā mahi whakatairanga a ētahi atu tāngata ki a ia, kāti kāore te tāne nei e hiahia ana ki te noho motuhake.
Ki te hiahia te tāne kia motuhake rāua ko tana hoa, e kore rawa ia e whakaaro ki ngā mahi a tētahi atu tangata ki a ia, e whakaatu i te āhua o te wātea, ki te mea kei roto tana hoa i te rūma, e kore rawa ia e whakaaro ki te tango i ōna kanohi mai i a rāua!
Ko ngā tāne e hiahia ana ki ngā whanaungatanga motuhake, he maha tonu te harikoa ki ā rātou hoa, ā, ahakoa ka puta te whakaaro hē ki roto i ō rātou hinengaro mō te puremu, e kore rawa rātou e mahi i tēnā. Ka whakaatu mārama ia i ngā tohu e hiahia ana ia ki te whakaipoipo mō te wā roa mā te noho tahi me koe me te manaaki i a koe pērā i te hoa tāne. Kaua mā te whakatata atu ki ētahi atu wāhine i te pae inu. Nō reira, he tohu nui tēnei hei mārama mēnā kei te hiahia tetahi ki te whiwhi whakamana mai i ētahi atu tāngata, kei te harikoa rānei ki ā rātou mea.
4. E kōrero ana ia mō te heke mai tahi
Ko tētahi o ngā huarahi matua ki te mōhio mēnā kei te hiahia te tāne kia motuhake, ko te tirotiro mēnā kei te kōrero ia mō ngā mea me tana hoa rangatira i roto i te ao o āpōpō. Ko te kōrero mō te heke mai ko te whakapau kaha ki tētahi heke mai – ā, ki te kōrero te tāne mō te haere ki ngā huihuinga, te haereere, te hoko taonga rānei, ko te tikanga kei te titiro ia ki te noho tahi me koe, ehara i te mea i tēnei wā anake, engari i te heke mai anō hoki.
Ki te kōrero ia mō te whakaaro mō tētahi heke mai ki a koe, ko tētahi o ngā tohu nui tēnā e hiahia ana ia ki te whakaipoipo mō te wā roa – ki te kore, kāti, kāore ia i te aro ki te motuhaketanga.
Te pānui e pā ana: He aha te wā whakapūmau, ā, he aha ngā ture?
5. Kei te māia ia?
He mea nui te motuhaketanga. Ko te tikanga o te motuhaketanga ki tētahi e karanga ana i te whānuitanga o te kawenga, te whakawhirinaki, te whakawhirinaki me te nui o te aroha. Ko te nuinga o ngā tāne kāore e aro ki te tautohetohe – ahakoa kāore i te momo āhua, ka karohia e ngā tāne ngā kaupapa o te motuhaketanga, te whakapau kaha me te kōrero mō te heke mai – ina koa mēnā kāore rātou i te pai ki te whakaaro, ā, kāore anō kia rite.
Mena kei te hiahia koe kia noho motuhake ki tētahi tāne engari kei te whakaaro koe kua ngoikore ia tohu whakauru, he pai ake kia kōrero tuwhera, kia pono hoki kōrua kia mārama ai kōrua ki tāna e hiahia ana. Mēnā ka tino karo ia i te kaupapa, he mārama kei te kore ia e rite ki te whakaaro ki te kōrero mō taua mea – ā, kei a koe te whakautu.
He aha te tikanga o te hiahia o te tāne kia motuhake?
Ki te tono mai tētahi tāne kia noho motuhake koe, ko te tikanga kua rite ia ki te kawe i tō kōrua whanaungatanga ki tētahi taumata e whai ake nei. Mā te whakaaro i tēnei, kei te anga whakamua ia ki te tono kia noho koe hei hoa wahine māna, hei hoa rangatira rānei. Nō reira, kua tae ki te wā ki te tuku i ngā tama Tinder katoa kua tuku karere mai ki a koe nā te mea kua whai hoa tāne koe!
Ki te hiahia te tāne kia motuhake tonu, kāore pea ia e kōrero nui i te tīmatanga. Tērā pea ka ngana noa ia ki te pātai atu mēnā kei te tūtaki koe ki ētahi atu tāngata, ki te mahi rānei i ngā mahi aroha hei whakaatu i tō hononga ki a ia he tino motuhake tō kōrua hononga. Engari ki te haere mai ia ki a koe ka mea mai kei te hiahia ia kia riro koe māna, ā, kua tae ki te wā hei herehere i a koe, kāti, e hine, e mōhio ana koe ki te tikanga o tēnā.
FAQs
Ko te motuhaketanga o te kare ā-roto ko te noho tahi me te tangata takitahi i roto i te hinengaro me te kare ā-roto – he āhua noa iho te tangata ki te kōrero mō ngā mea whaiaro me ngā mea whakaraerae, ehara i te mea ki te tangata kotahi anake, engari ki tētahi rōpū o ngā hoa tata. Kāore ngā tāne e kōrero nui mō ō rātou kare ā-roto me ō rātou kare ā-roto, engari ki te kōrero rātou ki a koe mō ō rātou oranga tūmataiti, he tata tonu rātou ki a koe. Heoi anō, ki te tono tētahi tāne kia motuhake koe, ehara i te mea kei te motuhake koe i roto i te kare ā-roto, engari kei roto hoki koe i tētahi whanaungatanga.
He tokomaha ngā tāne e whakaaro ana matakitaki porn he āhua noho tūturu – he rerekē te whakaaro o te nuinga o ngā wāhine. Engari, ki te mea kei te taha koe o tētahi e pai ana ki te mātaki i ngā mahi puremu i ngā wā katoa, ā, kāore e aro nui ana ki te noho tahi me koe i te taha tinana, i te taha hinengaro rānei, tērā pea kāore taua tāne e tino hiahia ana ki te noho motuhake.
Tinder, Bumble, Hinge – he aha atu? He nui ngā paetukutuku whakaipoipo i ēnei rā – ina pā mai te 'hoha' ki te tāne, he meneti torutoru noa iho te roa hei rēhita ki tētahi o ēnei, hei swipe noa iho hei whakangahau. Ki te whakaaro koe kei runga tētahi tāne i ēnei paetukutuku, ā, e kore e pai ki te tuku i tana kōtaha, he mārama kei te ruarua ia mō te motuhaketanga.
Ko te tikanga o te motuhaketanga ko te noho motuhake. Āe. Mēnā ko tāu kei te whakapā atu tana hoa tāne ki tana hoa o mua ā, ki te nui rawa te kōrero mō ngā mea tūmataiti i waenganui i a kōrua, ki te kōrero rānei mō ngā mea kāore e tika ana kia pā ki a ia, ko te tikanga kāore ia i te tino motuhake ki a koe. Kōrero ki a ia.
21 nga huarahi ki te korero ki tetahi e aroha ana koe ki a ia me te kore e kii
Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
