E 23 pea ōku tau i taua wā, ā, kua uru atu ahau ki taku mahi tuatahi. Ko tētahi atu tangata, i uru mai i te wā kotahi ki ahau, ka noho ki tētahi tēpu i tērā taha o taku tēpu. I te nuinga o te wā, ka menemene ahau ki a ia mēnā ka tūtaki ō māua kanohi. I whakaaro ahau he mahi atawhai tēnā, engari kāore au i whakaaro kei te tuku tohu rerekē ahau. Kātahi ka kōrero māua i ētahi wā i te wā tina, ā, i tana tuku mai i tana kai kāinga ki ahau, ka tukuna atu e ahau tāku. I whakaaro ahau he mahi noa tēnā mā te hoa mahi, engari he tohu rerekē anō tēnā i tukuna e au, ā, i whakamāramahia e ia he tohu kei te hiahia ahau ki a ia.
Āe, i pai ahau ki a ia hei hoa mahi pea, engari kāore i tua atu. Engari i taku wehenga atu i taua mahi, ka kite atu ahau i a ia e takoto kau ana i mua i tōku whare e kī ana he rapu wāhi horoi kakahu tata, koira taku mōhio kua puta mai pea ngā tohu hē i roto i aku whanonga. I roto i te wā, ka mārama ahau ehara i te mea rerekē te mea i tupu i waenganui i ahau me taku hoa mahi, engari he mea noa.
Ko ngā tohu rerekē mai i te kōtiro – mai i te āhua hoahoa ka taea te whakamāori he hiahia aroha ki te takaro wera me te makariri hei pupuri i te hiahia pea – he maha ngā wā ka ara ake ai ngā kare ā-roto pōhēhē me te taupatupatu i roto i te tangata e whiwhi ana i te aroha.
Ko tātou, ngā wāhine, he maha ngā wā ka tukuna e tātou ngā tohu rerekē ahakoa kāore tātou e mōhio kei te mahi tātou i tēnā. Ka puta tēnei i a tātou e taunekeneke ana me ngā tāne, i a tātou e whakaipoipo ana rānei i tētahi tangata. Ka taea e tēnei te waiho i te tangata kē atu kia pōhēhē, kia kore ai e tino mōhio me pēhea te ahu whakamua. Koia te mea nui kia wetewetehia he aha ngā tohu rerekē mai i tētahi kōtiro, ā, kei konei mātou hei āwhina i a koe.
He aha rawa ngā tohu whakauru?
Ripanga o Ihirangi
Ko te mea tino uaua ko te mārama mēnā he rite ō kare ā-roto ki a koe aroha taha taha he rite tonu rānei ngā kare ā-roto o tētahi atu ki a koe. Engari ina waea atu te kōtiro ki a koe, ā, e hiahia ana ia ki te haere ki te kiriata i taua rā tonu, ā, i te mutunga wiki e whai ake nei ka hiahia koe ki te kawe i a ia ki te tina, ka mea ia he pukumahi ia, kei a koe tētahi o ngā tauira matarohia o ngā tohu ranu mai i tētahi kōtiro.
Waihoki, ka awhi pūmau ia i a koe ina tūtaki ia ki a koe, engari ina tukuna atu e koe he rotarota aroha e miharo ana koe, kāore ia e whakautu. Kāore ia e tirotiro i tō karere kuputuhi mō ngā hāora engari kei te kaha ia ki runga i te Instagram e kitea ana e koe. Ka kiia ēnei he tohu whakaranu e kī ana "Kei te aroha ahau ki a koe" i tētahi wā, ā, "Kāore ahau i te aroha ki a koe" i tētahi wā. I ētahi wā ka waiho koe e ēnei tohu whakaranu kia ohorere, kia pōuri, kia māharahara, ā, kāore koe e mōhio kei hea koe e tū ana.
i roto i te tuhinga, kaiwhakaora takirua me te tohunga hinengaro Marnā Feuerman he tika te aro atu ki ngā tohu ranu mai i tētahi kōtiro. "Ko ngā tohu ranu he tohu kino e huna ana. Hei whakamutunga, ko te rongoā ko te aro nui atu ki ngā mahi kaua ki ngā kupu. Ko te wetewete i ngā karere ranu he kēmu roa o 'e aroha ana rātou ki ahau, kāore rātou e aroha ki ahau'... ā, kāore he wā mō tēnā," tana kī.
He aha i rerekē ai ngā tohu a ngā wāhine?
Ki te mea he rerekē ngā tohu e puta mai ana i tētahi kōtiro, tērā pea ka whakaaro koe he aha. He aha ia i te āhua nei e aroha ana ki a koe i ētahi wā, ā, e noho puku ana ki ētahi atu? Kāore ia i te tino mōhio ki ōna kare ā-roto mōu? He aha ia i pēnei ai te whakaroa? He maha ngā take e rerekē ai ngā tohu a ngā wāhine, ā, kei te whakarārangihia e mātou ētahi o aua mea:
- Kāore i te tino mōhio ki ōna kare ā-roto: Ka puta ngā tohu rerekē i te wahine ina kore ia e tino mōhio ki ōna ake kare ā-roto
- Ngä pukenga whakawhitiwhitiwhiti Kāore ia i te matatau ki te whakapuaki i ōna ake kare ā-roto
- Kāore i te mōhio ki a ia anō: Kāore ia i te mōhio kei te whakamāramatia tana whanonga e te ira tangata kē he tohu ranu.
- Te tākaro uaua ki te tiki: He tohu rerekē āna e hoatu ana nā te mea te tākaro uaua ki te tiki
- Te whakamā ki te whakapau kaha: E hiahia ana ia ki te whakaipoipo i a koe engari kāore i te tino mōhio ki te herenga, ā, e hiahia ana kia mau tonu te wāhi i roto i te whanaungatanga.
- Kāhua āpitihanga: Tērā pea kua pāngia ia e ētahi wheako o tōna tamarikitanga i meinga ai ia kia tupato ki te herea.
- Nga take whakawhanaunga: Kāore anō ia kia tau ki te whanaungatanga piripono, nō reira i ia wā, tera pea ka tukuna e ia he tohu rerekē kia kore ai kōrua e tata rawa atu.
10 Ngā Tohu Whakaranu Pōhēhē e Tukuna ana e te Wahine
Ki te mea kei te whiwhi koe i ngā tohu rerekē i te wā e whakaipoipo ana, tera pea ka tino ahotea koe nā te mea i te nuinga o te wā kei te ngana koe ki te whakaaro he aha te mea e tupu ana. I tetahi atu taha, ko ētahi wāhine kāore i te mōhio kei te tuku tohu rerekē rātou.
Tērā pea he tangata whakawhitiwhiti kōrero ia, ā, he mea noa iho ki a ia te menemene me te kōrero ki te katoa. Tērā pea koe e whakaaro ana ko tēnei mahana me te aro he mea māu anake nā te mea kei te aro atu ia ki a koe, engari ko ia, i tētahi atu taha, kāore pea i te mōhio he aha te hē o tana whanonga ā-roto hei tohu i te hiahia aroha.
Nō reira, he maha ngā whakahē me ngā whakapoauautanga o ngā tohu whakauru e uaua ana ki te wetewete. Engari ka taea e mātou te āwhina i a koe mā te kī atu ki a koe ngā tohu whakauru e tino kitea ana e ngā wāhine. Anei ngā tohu whakauru tekau.
Te pānui e pā ana: 31 Ngā Tohu e Pai Ana Te Kōtiro Ki A Koe Engari Kei Te Ngana Ki Te Kaua E Whakaatu
1. He rerekē te āhua o tana waea?
I tētahi rā ka waea atu ia ki a koe, ka kōrero ki a koe mō te haora, ā, ka whakaaro koe ko koe te mea pai rawa atu kua pā ki a ia, kātahi ka noho pukumahi rawa ia mō te toenga o te wiki, ā, kāore e taea e ia te kōrero ki a koe mō te neke atu i te 5 meneti. Kei te tino pōhēhē koe me pēhea te mahi. Kāore koe e mārama mēnā kei te pirangi ia ki a koe, kei te kōrero noa rānei ia ki a koe ina hiahia ia ki tētahi hoa i runga waea.
Ka rerekē pea ngā taunekeneke a te kōtiro ki a koe e tuku ana i ngā tohu rerekē. He rerekē ngā take, mai i tana ngana ki te whai i a ia ki te kore rawa e mōhio ki ō kare ā-roto.
2. He ahua hiahia tōna, ā, kāore i te hiahia?
Mā te whiwhinga tohu rerekē mai i tētahi kōtiro ka noho koe ki te hurihuri i waenga i te 'e pai ana ia ki ahau' me te 'kāore ia e pai ki ahau'. Kei te whakaaro koe, "Kei te tuku tonu mai te kōtiro e pai ana ahau i ngā tohu rerekē"? Ko te take pea ko tōna āhua kāreti me te rākau.
Tērā pea ka tino hiahia ia ki a koe i ngā rā tuatahi e rua, engari i te tuatoru, tērā pea ka noho puku ia. Kātahi ka rongo pea koe i ngā mea pai katoa mōu kua kōrerotia e ia ki ana hoa. Ka tino pōhēhē pea ēnei momo tohu rerekē mai i tētahi kōtiro, ā, ka kāre rawa au i te tino mōhio kei hea koe e tū ana. Kāore koe i te mōhio me pēhea te wetewete i ēnei tohu ranu.
3. Kei te noho tawhiti atu ia i a koe i runga i ngā pāpāho pāpori?
Tērā pea ka tino mihi atu ia ki a koe ina mau koe i taua T-shirt kikorangi me ngā tarau pango, ā, tērā pea ka kī atu ia kei te rite koe ki te tāne o ana moemoeā. Engari ina tuku whakaahua koe ki Instagram me te mau i taua kākahu anō, kāore ia e waiho i tētahi kōrero pai. Ka noho tawhiti tonu ia i a koe i runga i ngā pāpāho pāpori.
I ētahi wā ka mamae koe, engari kāore koe i te mōhio me pēhea te whakatau i tēnei whanonga. E whakaaro ana koe kāore e taea e koe te wetewete i ana tohu rerekē. Kāore e taea e koe te kite mēnā kei te tino aroha ia ki a koe.
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4. Kei te pupuri ia i a koe kia matara atu i tōna whānau?
He wāhanga nui koe nō te tira o tana hoa. Kei te noho tahi kōrua i ngā wā katoa, ā, kua hararei tahi kōrua. Mō tōna whānau, kāore koe i te mōhio ki a rātou. Kāore anō koe kia titiro atu ki tētahi o rātou, ā, ko te mea pea, kāore rātou e mōhio ana ki tō noho.
I roto i te rōpū o tō hoa, he mea tūturu kei a kōrua te whanaungatanga ahakoa kāore anō kōrua kia tono haere tahi. Engari kāore anō kōrua kia tae atu ki tōna kāinga, ā, i tō tononga atu kia haere mai ia ki tōu kāinga, kāore ia i tae atu ki tēnā. He tohu noa tēnei o ngā tohu rerekē mai i te kōtiro.
5. Kāore ia e moe roa i runga i te moenga?
He aha ngā tohu ranu mai i tētahi kōtiro? Ki te kore koe e moe mō tēnei pātai, kia mōhio koe ko te whanaungatanga wera me te makariri tētahi o ngā tauira matarohia o ngā tohu ranu mai i tētahi kōtiro. He tino pai ia ki te kihi, ā, ka whakarite i ngā waina me ngā rama ina hiahia kōrua ki te whanaungatanga piripono. Engari kāore ia e hiahia ki te haere roa rawa.
Kua maha ngā wā i pātai atu ai koe ki a ia mō tēnā, engari he maha tonu āna whakautu pōhēhē. Tērā pea ētahi take whakawhirinaki he raruraru kare ā-roto rānei e aukati ana i a ia ki te tuku i a koe kia uru atu. I whakaaro koe ka puta noa mai i tētahi rā engari ka mutu tonu tana mahi i te wā whakamutunga. Kāore koe i te mōhio me pēhea te wetewete i ana tohu whakauru. E mōhio ana koe he pai ki a ia te whanaungatanga ā-tinana engari kāore koe i te mōhio he aha ia kāore ai e pai ki te mahi i te huarahi katoa.
6. Ka piki haere ōna kare ā-roto, ā, ka memeha haere?
Nā ana tohu rerekē, te āhua nei kua huri te ao hei ara hurihuri kare ā-roto mōu. Tērā pea ka kī atu ia ki a koe ko koe te tangata e pupuri ana i a ia kia noho mārama mā roto i āu kupu whakahihiko. Engari ki te kī atu koe ki a ia kia kaua e mahi i tetahi mea nā te mea kāore koe i te pai ki a ia, tera pea ka tino riri ia i te kī atu kei te pai koe. te takahi i ō rohe.
Nā, he aha tāu e kite ai i ēnei tohu rerekē a tētahi kōtiro? Me noho tata, engari me noho tawhiti. Koinei te mea i puta ake ki ō mātou hinengaro.
7. Kei te ngana ia ki te tiaki i tōna kaki?
Ko ngā tāne e wehi ana i te whakakorenga, ko ngā wāhine e wehi ana i te whakakorenga. Tērā pea kei te ngana te kōtiro e tuku tohu ana i a ia anō i te mamae o te whakakorenga nā te mea kāore anō ia kia tino mōhio ki ō kare ā-roto mōna. Tērā pea kei te whakaaro ia kāore koe e aro ki a ia, kāore rānei ia e tino maia ki te āheinga o tō hononga ki a ia.
Nō reira, ka noho tonu ia ki te tuku tohu rerekē nā te mea e mataku ana ia mēnā ka whakaatu ia he nui rawa tōna aroha ki a koe, ā, i muri i tēnā, kāore koe e kawe i te whanaungatanga ki te taumata e whai ake nei, ka pōhēhē ia kua whakakahoretia. Kei te tiaki ia i a ia anō kei mamae.
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8. Kei te ngana ia ki te takaro ki te wahine?
He patu kaha ngā tohu whakaranu a ngā wāhine e pai ana ki te takaro. E pai ana rātou ki te pupuri i ngā tāne kia mataku mā te kore e whakamōhio atu ki a rātou he aha te āhua o te whanaungatanga. Ki te whiwhi koe i ngā tohu whakaranu mai i tētahi kōtiro, tera pea he tohu o te whakatau tata or te hī ika.
I roto i ēnei āhuatanga, ehara ngā tohu rerekē mai i te kōtiro i te hua o te kore mōhio ki a ia anō, o ngā raruraru kare ā-roto rānei e aukati ana i a ia ki te hanga hononga ki a koe. Kei te mahi ia i tēnei me te mōhio kia noho pōhēhē tonu koe – tana hoa aroha.
9. He whanonga whakakatakata tāna?
Tērā ētahi wā ka rongo koe kei te tino hiahia ia ki a koe. Ka rite tana whanonga ki tētahi hoa wahine piripono, te hae ki tētahi hoa wahine o tōu, me te hiahia kia noho tahi tonu me koe. Kātahi ka pukumahi ia ki te mahi mō ngā rā, ā, ka mutu pea ka haere ko ia anake i muri i tana whakamōhio atu mā te waea.
Ko ēnei tohu whakaranu noa ka tukuna e ngā wāhine kāore anō kia taea te whakatau he aha tā rātou e hiahia ana i roto i ō rātou ao. Kei te noho tonu rātou hei mea whakakatakata, ā, kei te whakapoauau tonu i te tāne.
10. He nui tōna menemene?
Ahakoa he taonga nui rawa atu te ataata mahana, kanapa hoki mā te wahine, tera pea ka raru ia i ngā wā maha o tōna ao. Nā te mea ka whakaarohia e ngā tāne te ataata mahana hei tohu o te aro ki a rātou, ā, ka taea e rātou te whakamahi hei tautoko.
Nō reira, ki te mihi mai ia ki a koe me te ataata mahana, ā, ka awhi mai i a koe i ia wā ka tūtaki koe ki a ia, ā, kei te hiahia koe ki a ia, rapua ētahi atu tohu, kaua e whakawhirinaki noa ki te ataata. Ahakoa he ataata mai ia ki a koe, he atawhai hoki ki a koe, engari kāore e aro mai ki ō tono, ehara i te mea kei te whiwhi koe i ngā tohu rerekē mai i tētahi kōtiro.
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Me pēhea taku pānui i ngā tohu whakaranu noa? Ka kōrero atu mātou ki a koe…
"Kei te tuku tonu mai te kōtiro e pai ana ahau i ngā tohu rerekē, ā, kāore au i te mōhio me pēhea te wetewete i aua tohu." He maha ngā tāne e whakaaro ana pēnei, ā, kāore i te mōhio me hoki whakamuri, me whai rānei i tētahi kōtiro e tuku ana i ngā tohu rerekē. Me kī atu tātou, kotahi te mea e tino mārama ana, he uaua ki te mārama ki ngā tohu rerekē, ā, kāore he huarahi tino tika hei mahi i tēnā. Engari ka taea e koe te ngana ki te mārama ki ngā tohu rerekē, me te maumahara ki te take i tukuna ai ēnei tohu e ngā wāhine i te tuatahi.
Ko tā mātou tohutohu ki a koe, me tatari koe kia kite i te tauira o ngā whanonga a te wahine. He hoa tōku i aroha nui ki tēnei tāne, engari he raruraru whānau tōna, nō reira i whakaaro ia ka kore e harikoa te tāne ki te whai hononga ki a ia.
Nō reira, i ana karere kuputuhi katoa, ka whakautu ia i muri i ngā rā e toru, ā, i te mōhio ka karo tonu ia i ana rotarota aroha. Ahakoa ka kōrero ia ki a ia ina waea mai ia. Kua ngaro tōna tumanako. Nō te tīmatanga o tētahi atu kōtiro ki te whakaatu i tōna hiahia ki a ia, ka whakapuakina e ia ōna kare ā-roto pono ki a ia. Mō ngā tau e rua, kāore ia i taea te wetewete i ana tohu rerekē, ā, kāore hoki ia i pērā me i kore ia e kōrero ki a ia. Engari kāore anō ia kia neke atu, ā, he tumanako tōna.
Heoi, i ētahi wā, he pai ake te neke atu i te mea ka taea e ngā wāhine te pupuri i a koe kia piri tonu, nā te mea koinei te huarahi e takaro ai rātou. Engari ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe he tumanako kei reira, kāti me wareware koe ki a ia mō tētahi wā, me te titiro mēnā ka hoki mai ia ki a koe. Ki te pērā ia, he tohu tēnā kei te hiahia ia. Ki te kore, neke atu.
Ki te kite koe he tino hiahia ia, ka taea e koe te āwhina i a ia ki te whakatau i tōna ake pōhēhētanga me te haumi ki roto i tō kōrua whanaungatanga. I ētahi wā, me nui te manawanui ki te wetewete i ngā tohu, ā, me whakamahi koe i ō kare ā-roto.
Mō ētahi atu ataata tohunga, ohauru mai ki tā mātou Hongere Youtube. Pāwhiri ki konei.
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