He pono rānei te whai huatanga o tētahi whanaungatanga "Hoa me ngā Painga"?

I roto i ngā rā torutoru, ka haere taku hoa a Shikha ki Goa mō tētahi hararei me tētahi tāne kua ono tau rāua e moe tahi ana, engari kāore ia i te karanga i a ia ko tana hoa tāne. He whanaungatanga hoa-ā-pā tō rāua. He rerekē ngā tāone e noho ana rāua, engari i ētahi wā i roto i te marama, ka tūtaki rāua tetahi ki tetahi i waenganui, ka whiwhi i ō rāua rā torutoru o te aroha, kātahi ka wehe i ō rāua ara.

I roto i te wā, ka tino piripono a Shikha rāua ko te tangata. te whanaungatanga ā-hinengaro, ā, heoi anō kua tino wātea mai i tetahi mea te kawenga o te hae me te mana whakahaere. E pai ana ki a rātou te whakapuaki i ō rātou ngākau tetahi ki tetahi nā te mea e whakaaro ana rātou kāore he mea hei ngaro i a rātou. E whakapuaki ana rātou i ō rātou whanaungatanga o mua, ō rātou moemoeā, ō rātou mamae. "I tētahi wā, i kōrero mai ia ki ahau mō tētahi hononga roa, uaua i pā ki a ia me tōna hoa noho, ā, ko au anake te tangata e mōhio ana ki tēnā," te kī a Shikha. I aroha ia ki taua kōrero nā te mea i whakahihiri i a ia ki te mōhio ki tētahi mea mōna kāore i mōhiotia e tētahi atu. I ētahi wā, e ahua pono ake ana tātou i roto i tō tātou whanaungatanga 'hoa whai painga' i tō tātou whanaungatanga ki ō tātou hoa rangatira.

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I tētahi o ngā wāhanga o tangata Mad, ka whakawai a Betty i a Don i te puni raumati o Bobby, i muri tata mai i tā rāua marena anō. I muri i te haerenga ki te ngahere, i a rāua e takoto tahi ana i te moenga, ka mea a Betty ki a Don mō tana wahine hou, "Tērā kotiro rawakore. Kāore ia i te mōhio ko te aroha ki a koe te huarahi kino rawa atu ki te tae atu ki a koe." He kino engari he pono. I ētahi wā ka taea e ngā hoahoa aroha, e te hoa whai hua rānei te tuku i tētahi momo whanaungatanga piripono ki a koe e kore e taea e ngā whanaungatanga pumau.

He aha te whanaungatanga hoa-whai-painga?

He tokomaha kei te taha o tātou e uru ana ki ēnei whakaritenga 'hoa whai painga'. Ka kiia hoki ēnei whakaritenga he hoa aroha, he hoa pōrearea rānei, he whanaungatanga rānei ki 'kahore he aho e piri anaĀe, kia pono tātou: He iti noa ngā aho, kāore koe i te pērā? Bonobology kaiwhiwhi Ayushmaan Chatterjee ka ui mēnā he mea tika kia noho tetahi i roto i te whanaungatanga 'hoa me ngā painga'.

Ā, he pēhea te tika o te moe tahi me tētahi atu, me te kore tonu e uru ki tētahi hononga kare ā-roto? Ā, mehemea ka whanake te piripono o tētahi o ngā hoa ki tētahi atu hoa?

He tino uaua te whanaungatanga hoa-ā-pānga. Tērā pea ka tīmata mā te pārekareka noa ki te moe tāne, engari ko te whanaungatanga ā-tinana tonu ka akiaki i te tangata ki te whai hononga kare ā-roto. Ka puta te raruraru ina tīmata te piripono kare ā-roto o tētahi tangata, engari kāore tētahi. Kātahi ka tūpono... ngakau pouri.

Kia mārama ai tātou ki te whanaungatanga hoa-whai-pānga, me mārama tātou ki ētahi kōrero.

• Kāore he herenga: Kāore e taea e koe te tumanako i tētahi herenga, ehara i nāianei, ehara i te mea mō ake tonu atu. Nō reira, i a koe e noho tahi ana me tētahi hoa wahine, ka herea pea e tō hoa wahine ki tētahi atu. He tino taea tēnā.
• Me tino whakaae koe ki tēnei: Kāore e taea te uru noa ki tētahi whanaungatanga hoa-ā-pānga me te kore whakaaro. Kōrerohia tā kōrua whakaritenga, kātahi ka whakatinanahia.
• Ārai i ngā raruraru ā muri ake nei: Tērā pea ka aro atu koe ki tētahi, ā, ko te hiahia anake o taua tangata he FWB. Kaua e tomo ki te whakaritenga me te whakaaro ka aroha rātou ki a koe i te mutunga. Ka tino kino tēnei whakauaua ngā mea.
• Tērā pea kei roto rātou i ētahi atu FWB: Tērā pea he maha ngā hononga hoa-ā-pūtea a te tangata. Tirohia mēnā he pai tēnei mōu. Ki te pōuri koe, me kōwhiri kia kaua e uru atu ki te whakaritenga FWB.

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Ka taea e te whanaungatanga hoa-whai-pānga te mahi?

"Ae ra, he mea whaitake," te kī a Vaidi"Ehara ianei i te whanaungatanga tino pai ki te hunga pai o ngā ao e rua? Ko te whakamarie o te hoa, te whakahoahoa me te makona i te moepuku, me te kore he taumahatanga e kawea mai ana e te marena."

Tērā pea ka tupu te hononga kare ā-roto, ā, koinā te wā ka pakaru ai te whakaritenga mēnā kāore rāua i te whakaae tahi, ka huri rānei hei marena mēnā e tika ana ki a rāua tokorua. Meghna e whakaaro ana he mea nui kia kotahi te whakaaro o ngā taha e rua i mua, i te wā e haere ana te 'whanaungatanga', me muri hoki i te tīmatanga o te whanaungatanga. Koia anake ka taea ai te noho pai tonu.

Kāore he whakaaro koretake mō te whai wāhi atu ki te whanaungatanga hoa-ā-ringa, mena ka mārama ngā taha e rua mō tēnei mea, e ahua ana Tuhinga.

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He hiahia tinana te moe tāne, ā, kāore e hiahiatia kia puta he kare ā-roto hei whakarite kia ngahau. Mēnā ka puta he kare ā-roto ki tētahi o ngā hoa, kua tae ki te wā ki te whakautu i te waea - ahakoa me noho, me wehe rānei - ā, he maha tonu te tupu o tēnei. "Ko te mea pai ko te tuwhera me te kōrero mō tēnei mea. Mēnā kāore koe e tumanako ana ki te tautoko kare ā-roto mai i taua tangata, kōrerotia atu tēnā ki a rātou. Mēnā kei te whakaaro koe ka taea e koe te kawe i tēnei mea ki mua, kōrerotia atu tēnā ki a rātou. Mēnā kei te tino mōhio koe kāore e taea e koe te whai hononga kare ā-roto me te hoa, he pai ake te wehe." Koinā ngā tohutohu whanaungatanga a Vivek mō ngā hoa whai painga.

I roto i te whanaungatanga 'hoa whai hua', kāore he whakaaro pohehe mō tō moepuku, nō reira ka taea e koe te kōrero mārire mō taua mea. He whanaungatanga e pai ana, e whakaute ana hoki ngā tāngata e rua tetahi ki tetahi, e pai ana hoki ki te moe tahi. He ataahua, he herekore, he takaro hoki kei roto i taua pono. Ko te mea pai rawa atu, kāore koe e whakahengia.

Ka whiwhi ngā hoa e rua i roto i te whanaungatanga 'hoa whai painga' i ngā mea pai katoa o te noho i roto i te whanaungatanga – te awhi, te moepuku porangi, ngā mea ngaro reka – engari ko ngā mahi hoha e haere tahi mai ana me te whakapau kaha, pērā i te manawanui ki te PMS o tō hoa wahine, te āwhina rānei i tō hoa tāne ki te horoi i ōna kākahu i te mutunga wiki.

Nā, me pēhea te mahi a te whanaungatanga hoa-whai-pānga? Ka mahi noa te whakaritenga o ngā 'hoa-whai-pānga' mēnā ka noho tonu te wāhanga 'hoa' ki te mahi. Ki te hurihia e koe te āhua o taua whanaungatanga hei whanaungatanga tūturu, tērā pea kāore aua kēmu takaro e tino ātaahua ana.

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Kia pēhea te roa o te whanaungatanga FWB?

E whakapono ana mātou me roa ngā whanaungatanga hoa-āwhina, mena kāore e nui haere ngā tumanakohanga. Nō reira, he torutoru wiki, he marama rānei, tae noa ki te mutunga o te ngahau, he ono tau rānei te roa, pērā i a Shikha.

Me mau tonu tēnei kia tae rā anō ki te wā e tino makona ai koe i te tinana, kia ngahau ai i runga i te moenga, kia taea ai e koe te kōrero mō ngā mea katoa i raro i te rā, ā, kia koa tonu ai.

He hunga kua noho hei hoa mō ngā āwhina, kua moe rātou ki ētahi atu tāngata, engari i hoki anō rātou ki te ao FWB nā te mea i ngaro i a rātou te matū tinana me ō rātou hoa mahi. Tērā pea ka uaua ake ngā mea, ā, ka hua ake he TinihangaNō reira, he mea tika kia mōhio koe ki te wā me whakamutu tō whanaungatanga hoa-ā-pānga. Kāore i te tika te noho tonu hei hoa-ā-pānga i a koe e noho ana i roto i te whanaungatanga. Ka nui te mamae ka pā mai.

E hia ngā wā ka kite ngā hoa whai āwhina tetahi i tetahi?

He rerekē rawa te whanaungatanga FWB i te whakaipoipo nā te mea i te wā e whakaipoipo ana koe i tētahi tangata, e rapu ana koe i te aroha, i te whanaungatanga piripono, me te whanaungatanga. Ki te whakarongo koe ki ā mātou tohutohu whanaungatanga "Friends with Benefits", ko te mea pai hei mahi māu mō tēnei momo whanaungatanga ko te tūtaki noa i te wā e taea ai e kōrua te piripono ā-tinana.

Ki te kore, ka taea e kōrua te kōrero tahi i ngā pāti, i ngā wā rānei e noho tahi ana kōrua ko te tira, engari kāore e tino hiahiatia te hui tahi me te inu kapu me te kōrero i roto i te whanaungatanga FWB.

Ae, ka taea e kōrua te kōrero i a kōrua e takoto tahi ana i te moenga. He maha ngā wā ka kōrero ngā hoa whai hua tetahi ki tetahi i ngā mea ngaro nā te mea kāore he huarahi hei whakahē.

Nō reira, ki te pātai koe kia hia ngā wā e tika ana kia kite ngā hoa whai painga tetahi i tetahi? Ko tā mātou whakautu me tūtaki rātou i te wā e taea ai e rātou te moe tāne. Tērā pea he torutoru ngā wā i roto i te wiki ki ētahi wā i roto i te marama, tae atu ki ētahi wā i te tau mēnā kei ngā wāhi rerekē rātou e noho ana.

Engari e whakapono ana mātou kei reira ētahi ture hoa-ki-ngā-pānga mō ngā tāne. Me whakarite tonu rātou kei te whakamahi rātou i te tiaki, te waihanga i ngā kare ā-roto rohe ā, kaua e tumanako ka whakatikahia e tana hoa FWB ōna kākahu, ka tiaki rānei i a ia ina pāngia ia e te rewharewha. I taea e ia te mahi i mua ake nei hei hoa engari ki te mea kei roto koe i te whanaungatanga FWB, tapahia te taha kare ā-roto.

He pēhea te mahi a ngā hoa whai painga? Āe!! mō ētahi he pai te moepuku, engari ko ētahi ka pāngia e te kare ā-roto i te wā roa. He wā kua arahina te whanaungatanga FWB ki te marena, engari i te nuinga o te wā ka arahi ki te mamae o te ngākau ina puta mai te kare ā-roto. Nō reira kia tūpato ki te whakahaere i taua mea.

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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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