He Māmā, he Kore rānei ia e Hiahia? 26 Ngā Huarahi hei Kite i te Rerekētanga

Kei te whakaaro koe kei te puta he raruraru ki a koe me tētahi tāne, engari kei te pōhēhē koe i tana whanonga? Tērā pea ka whakaaro koe, "He mā ia, he kore rānei e aro?" He mea whakarihariha te wehewehe i waenga i te manukanuka me te kore aro. I tētahi taha, he marino, he ātaahua hoki ia, he iti noa te titiro kanohi. I tētahi atu taha, he maha ana wā kāore ia e kōrero ki a koe, e ahua haere atu ana rānei ina kite ia i a koe. He mea maori te pātai, he mataku ia, he kore rānei e aro? Ko te rongo pai, he tohu ngawari hei āwhina i a koe ki te kite i te rerekētanga. 

Kua kohikohia e mātou tēnei aratohu taipitopito mō te mōhio kei te mataku, kei te kore rānei te hiahia o tētahi tāne, hei āwhina i a koe ki te mahi i tēnā. Mā ngā tirohanga a ngā tohunga whanaungatanga e tautoko, kia kitea me pēhea te wehewehe i ngā kare ā-roto huna me te kore hiahia. 

Me pēhea te mōhio mēnā kei te manawa pā te tāne, kāore rānei i te hiahia: 26 ngā huarahi

Tuatahi, ki te kite koe i a koe e pōrangi ana i te ngana ki te whakaaro, "He mā ia, he kore rānei e hiahia?", kia mōhio koe ehara i te mea nā te kore o tō mārama. He maha ngā wā ka rite te mā me te manukanuka ki te kore e hiahia. Hei tauira, ko te tangata e karo ana i te titiro kanohi, e karo ana rānei i te kōrero, tera pea he tino māharahara ia ki te whai wāhi atu. Engari he tohu atawhai anō hoki kāore ia e pai ki a koe. E kī ana ngā tohunga whanaungatanga ko te horopaki te mea nui. E kī ana te tohunga hinengaro a Wendy Patrick, "He rite tonu te noho tahi o te hunga mā ki te katoa. He rerekē noa iho ā rātou kōrero." Nō reira, tera pea ka whakaatu te tangata mā i tōna hiahia i roto i ngā huarahi ngawari ake i te tangata e aro nui ana ki te kōrero. Heoi, tera pea ētahi tohu e pai ana te tangata mā ki a koe engari e ngana ana kia kaua e whakaatu. 

I tētahi atu taha, he maha ngā wā ka tukuna tonutia e te tāne kāore e aro ki a koe ngā tohu kino pēnei i te kore aro ki a koe. E whakamārama ana a Patrick, "Mēnā he nui āna wā ki te kōrero ki a koe, ā, kāore rawa ia e mahi i tēnā, he tino tūponotanga kāore ia e pai ki a koe i roto i te wairua aroha." He ahua uaua? Me whakangawari ake māu mā te wehewehe i ngā whanonga whakama engari e aro ana ki te hiahia, me te tūhura i te rerekētanga o ēnei mai i te kore aro. Hei te mutunga, ka whiwhi koe i te whakautu ki te pātai e pupuri ana i a koe i te pō: Kei te mataku ia, kāore rānei e aro?

13 ngā mahi a te tāne ina pai ia ki a koe engari he whakama

Ina pai tetahi tangata ki a koe engari he whakama, kāore pea ōna kare ā-roto e kitea tonutia. Engari i ngā mahi māia, i te takaro tika rānei, tera pea ka whakaatu ia i ngā tohu ngaro ake e pai ana te tangata whakama ki a koe engari e ngana ana kia kaua e whakaatu. He maha ngā wā ka whakaatahia e ēnei whanonga tōna manukanuka me tōna hiahia ki te hono atu me te kore e puta katoa i tana rohe whakamarie. Mai i te tahae tirohanga tere ki te whero, te nekeneke rānei i a koe e tata ana, he uaua ki te whakamārama i ēnei tohu i ētahi wā. Heoi, ki te mōhio koe ki te mea hei tirotiro, ka tīmata koe ki te kite i ngā huarahi marino engari whai tikanga e whakaatu ana ia i tōna hiahia. Me tūhura tātou i ngā huarahi 13 e mahi ai te tangata whakama ina he kare ā-roto ōna ki a koe, ahakoa he uaua ki a ia te whakapuaki i aua kare ā-roto.

1. Kāore ia e aro tika ki ngā kanohi engari ka titiro puku atu

Ki te pai te tāne ki a koe engari he māia rawa ki te whakaatu i tōna āhua, tera pea ka uaua ki a ia te titiro tika ki ō kanohi, te pupuri rānei i te titiro kanohi mō te wā roa. Engari,

• Ka titiro tere ia ina whakaaro ia kāore koe e mātaki mai ana
• Tērā pea ka kitea ia e titiro matatau ana mō tētahi wā poto, kātahi ka tahuri ke atu, me te mea kei te whakama ia
• He mahi whakama noa iho tēnei rautaki mārire, ātaahua hoki

E kore ia e titiro matatau mai ki a koe, engari ko te titiro tonu mai a ia ki muri he tohu kaha kei te hiahia ia. Ae, ahakoa ngā tāne whakama e ngana ana ki te titiro kanohi atu ina he mea nui ki a rātou tetahi. Nō reira, ki te kite koe i aua titiro tahae, ina koa ka tahuri ke atu ia, ka kata, ka whero rānei tōna mata, whakaarohia he tohu whakama, ehara i te mea he whakakorenga.

Te pānui e pā ana: 30 Ngā Huarahi Hei Mōhio Mēnā Kei te Aroha Puku tetahi Tāne ki a Koe 

2. Ka aro nui atu ia ki a koe, ā, ka maumahara ki ngā kōrero taipitopito

He mea whakamīharo, ka taea e te tangata whakama te whakaatu i tōna aroha ki a koe mā te aro nui atu i a koe e kōrero ana. Ka piko atu ia, ka pōkaikaha, ka whakarongo pono, nui atu i tana mahi ki ētahi atu tāngata. I roto i ngā kupu hinengaro, ka kiia tēnei ko te "aro arotahi." E whakamārama ana a Patrick, "He maha ngā wā ka whakaatu te hunga whakama i ō rātou hiahia mā te tuku i ō rātou aro katoa ki a koe. He tohu mārama tēnei e whakanui ana tetahi i tō kamupene, ā, e tino hiahia ana ki tāu e kōrero nei."

Nō reira, ina noho puku tetahi tāne i tō taha engari e whakarongo ana ki tāu e kōrero ana, kātahi ka mahara ki ngā mea iti i kōrerotia e koe i te wiki kua taha ake nei, pērā i tāu kiriata tino pai, i tētahi tunu kai rānei e pai ana ki a koe, koinei tana huarahi hei whakaatu i tōna aroha. Hei tauira, tērā pea i kī atu koe ki a ia he pai ki a koe te pīta, ā, i te wā e kite ai ia i a koe i muri mai, ka tono noa ia i tētahi māu. He tohu iti e whakaatu ana i te nui o te aroha. Ko tana aro nui me tana arotahi he tohu o tōna aroha. 

3. Ka whero tōna mata, ka oho, ka mahi whakarihariha rānei i a koe

He tohu nui te kaha o te io o te tangata e aroha ana ki a ia, ina tata ia ki a koe.

• Tērā pea ka whero tōna mata, ka tīmata rānei te nekeneke haere me tetahi mea i roto i ōna ringa—he pene, he waea, tae atu pea ki te pōtae o tōna hāte
• Tērā pea ka hē ana nekehanga, ā, ka kite pea koe kei te tūtuki ia i ngā kupu, kei te taka rānei tetahi mea nā te mea kua tino pukumahi ia.
• Tērā pea ka kore ia e kōrero, ka waiho koe kia whakaaro he aha te tikanga o te whakama o tētahi tāne ki a koe, engari kāore i te whakama o ētahi atu. 

Āe, tirohia mēnā ka whero tōna mata, ka tīmata rānei ia ki te kata māharahara ki āna ake katakata. E whakamārama ana a Patrick, "Ka māharahara te tangata whakama i a koe, ka whero tōna mata ina kōrero koe ki a ia, ā, ka ngana ki te noho tata ki a koe." Mēnā kei te pōturi ia, kei te menemene māharahara rānei, ehara i te mea kāore he hiahia. Ko tāna huarahi tēnei hei huna i tōna harikoa ki a koe. He kōrero tāpiri: Kāore he aha, ahakoa he tohu pai, mēnā ka hē tana kōrero, ka ringihia rānei tētahi mea ki a koe, e mōhio ana ia ki a koe, ā, ko tōna māharahara kei te pūtake mai i ōna kare ā-roto mōu.

Te pānui e pā ana: 21 Ngā Tohu e Whaia Ana Koe e te Tangata

4. He nui tana menemene i a koe

Ahakoa kāore e taea e ia te kōrero, mā tana menemene ia e whakaatu. He maha ngā wā ka menemene ngā tāne whakama i a rātou e kite ana i a koe, ā, i ētahi wā ka tahuri ke atu i muri mai. He tohu mārie tēnei e whakaatu ana kei te tino harikoa rātou kei reira koe. E kī ana a Patrick, "Ki te menemene tonu ia i te kitenga atu i a koe, whakaarohia koinei tētahi o ngā tohu kua whakamanahia e pai ana te tāne whakama ki a koe." 

Ki te mea kua hoha koe ki te pātai ki a koe anō, "He mā ia, he kore rānei e aro?", kia aro ki tana tauhohenga ki tō aroaro. Ki te tomo koe ki tētahi rūma ka kite i a ia, tirohia mēnā ka ara ake ōna kanohi, ka menemene tere rānei i mua i tana huna. Tērā pea ka menemene ia ina mihi atu koe ki a ia. He tohu tēnei menemene mahana, pono. Me te mea he mā ia ki te whakatata atu, nō reira ka tukua e ia tōna mata kia kōrero. He tohu ngāwari te ngaro o taua menemene mā, engari ina kite koe i a ia i ētahi wā, he uaua ki te kore e aro atu.

5. Ka ngana ia ki te noho tata ki a koe i roto i ngā rōpū

Ahakoa he wahangu ia, ka ngana tonu ia kia tata atu ki a koe. Tērā pea ka tae atu ia ki ngā pāti, ki ngā wāhi ako rānei, e noho tata tonu ana ki a koe. Ko te mea nui, kāore ia e hiahia kia tawhiti atu i tō ao. Tērā pea ka kite koe i a ia e whiriwhiri ana i tētahi tūru i tō taha, e uru atu ana rānei ki te kaupapa rōpū kotahi, e kitea ana rānei he take hei toro atu ki tō wāhi tino pai. 

He āhua tūpono noa iho pea, engari i roto i te huna, kei te rapu huarahi ia kia tata atu ki a koe. I ētahi wā ka tiaki ia i a koe. Hei tauira, ki te whakatoi tetahi atu i a koe me te takaro, tera pea ka kite koe i a ia e ahua pōuri ana, e rite ana rānei ki te tiaki. Kāore ia e ngana ana ki te tīmata i tētahi pakanga, engari kei te whakamōhio noa ia kei te tiaki ia i a koe. Kei roto i ēnei tohu ngawari te whakautu ki te pātai me pēhea te mōhio mēnā kei te manukanuka te tāne kāore rānei e hiahia ana. 

6. He iti noa āna mahi atawhai māu

Ahakoa kāore pea ngā tāne whakama e tuku atu i ngā mahi aroha nui ki a koe, ka mahia e rātou ngā mea iti, āwhina hoki. He mahi ngāwari pea ēnei, he atawhai rānei: 

• Ka kawea mai he kawhe māu i te ata
• Te āwhina i a koe ki tētahi mahi
• Te tiki i tētahi mea i warewarehia e koe

He ngawari ngā mahi, engari he mārama te kaupapa. Hei tauira, tērā pea ka kōrero koe kua ngaro tō pene, ā, i te aonga ake ka mau ia i tētahi atu pene mēnā ka hiahiatia e koe. Tērā pea ka tiakina koe e ia i raro i tana maru ina ua. He maha ngā wā ka kīia e ēnei nekehanga iti "E pai ana ahau ki a koe" ehara i te whakapuakitanga maia. Kei te whakaatu ia i te manaaki i tana ake ara mārire, arā, "Kei konei ahau mōu", me te kore e karanga nui.

Te pānui e pā ana: Ina kite koe i tētahi tangata e titiro matatau mai ana ki a koe, koinei tāna e whakaaro ana

7. He āhua tawhiti, he āhua tūpato rānei ia i ētahi wā

Ka taea e ngā tāne whakama te āhua tūpato, te tawhiti rānei, engari he take kare ā-roto te nuinga. Tērā pea ka āhua kore ia e aro, he āhua mārie rānei, ā, ka waiho koe kia whakaaro he aha. He aha ngā tāne whakama e mahi kore aro ana? E whakamārama ana te tohunga hinengaro, a Tākuta Aman Bhonsle, he maha ngā wā ka puta mai tēnei whanonga i ngā kare ā-roto e tino pāngia ana, ā, ka tāpiri atu, "Ehara i te mea kāore rātou e aro; engari he kaha rawa pea ō rātou kare ā-roto, kāore rātou i te tino mōhio me pēhea te whakahaere." 

Ina hoki, i ētahi wā ka hangaia e te hunga whakama me te aroha tawhiti aronganui nā te mea e āwangawanga ana rātou mō te whakakorenga. Nō reira, ki te hoki whakamuri ia—hei tauira, he kōrerorero ia i tētahi rā, ā, he tino marino i tētahi atu rā—kaua e peke ki te whakatau kua ngaro ōna kare ā-roto. Anei pea te āhua o te mea e tupu ana:

• Tērā pea kei te piki haere tōna manukanuka
• Tērā pea kei mataku ia kei mahi i tētahi mea whakama, nō reira ka hoki whakamuri tōna hinengaro
• Heoi, ina hiahia ia ki a koe, ka whakapau kaha tonu ia ki te hoki mai ki a koe. Ahakoa mā te menemene, mā te kōrero māharahara rānei.
• Koira te wā ka mārama ai kāore ia i te aro noa, i te kore aro rānei. I tino miharo noa ia.

8. Ka whero tōna mata ina kōrero koe ki a ia

Ina tino aro atu koe ki a ia, tirohia tōna mata. He maha ngā wā ka whero te tangata whakama ina kōrero koe ki a ia, me te mea kāore ia e whakapono kei te kōrero koe ki a ia. Ahakoa he pātai noa iho tāu, tera pea ia, 

• He mata whero
• Hoatu he kata mā
• Ngāna ki te whakararuraru i a ia anō, mā te tākaro ki ōna makawe, mā te titiro rānei ki ōna hu
• Tērā pea ka whānui haere ōna tauira
• Ka taea e tana ataata te whakararuraru

He mea tawhito katoa ēnei ngā tohu o te kukume i te tinana o te tāne i ahu mai i te mea ka pōrearea ia i tō aro. E whakaahua ana te tohunga reo tinana a Vanessa Van Edwards i ēnei hei whakaaturanga kino o te harikoa, arā, ko te mata e whakaatu ana i ngā mea maha atu i te kupu. I tēnei wā, ko ana whakaaturanga e whakaatu ana he nui tōna aroha ki a koe.

Te pānui e pā ana: 21 Ngā Tohu e Hiahia Ana Ia Kia Tino Mōhio Koe Ki A Ia

9. Ka kōrero ia ki ō hoa mōu

He uaua ki a ia te whakatata tika atu ki a koe, he maha ana wā ka haere mā tētahi atu tangata: ko ō hoa.

• Tērā pea ka pātai noa atu ia ki ō hoa, "E hika, he aha tāna mahi i tēnei mutunga wiki?"
• Kimihia rānei ngā kōrerorero rōpū kei reira koe
• Ma tenei, ka nui ake ana ako mōu me te kore e pātai atu ki a koe anō

He huarahi huna engari he pono hei whakaatu i te hiahia. Hei tauira, tera pea ka mōhio ohorere ia ki te ingoa o tō mōkai, ki tō roopu puoro tino pai rānei, ahakoa kāore koe i kōrero ki a ia. He nui te tūponotanga i riro mai i a ia tēnā i tētahi atu. E whakaatu ana tēnei whanonga ahakoa kāore e taea e ia te kōrero ki a koe, e mōhio ana ētahi atu kei te pirangi ia ki a koe. He rautaki whakama te tiki mōhiohio me te whakaatu tonu i te hiahia.

10. Ka whakarerekē ia i tōna āhua hei miharo i a koe

Me te whakaaro, "He mā ia, he kore rānei e hiahia?", tera pea kei roto i tōna āhua te whakautu. Ae, ko ngā huringa ātaahua o te whakapaipai he tohu pea kei te hiahia te tangata mā ki a koe. Mena ka tīmata whakarerekē ia ki te whakakakahu pai ake, ki te tapahi makawe hou, ki te whakapai ake rānei i tōna āhua, tera pea kei te mahi ia i tēnā hei miharo i a koe, me te kore e kī he aha. 

Hei tauira, ki te tūtaki koe ki a ia, ā, ka kite koe he hinu kakara hou tōna, he makawe hou rānei kua whakapaipaihia, he pai pea tēnā māu. Ko ēnei whakarerekētanga ki tōna momo kākahu he huarahi mārire ki te kī, "E hiahia ana ahau kia kite koe i ahau." Kāore pea ia e whakaae, engari e tumanako ana ia ka kite koe i te kaha o tana mahi. He pono rawa tēnei mēnā ka mahi ia i ngā rā anake e mōhio ana ia ka kite ia i a koe.

11. Ka menemene ia i ngā wā katoa e menemene ana koe

Kia tūpato ki te tauutuutu. He maha ngā wā ka whakaata te tangata whakama i tō harikoa. Ki te ataata noa koe, ki te ruru rānei i a ia, tera pea ka tiaho ia hei whakautu. I ētahi wā, he wā poto noa iho i mua i te tahuri atu. Koinei tana huarahi whakama ki te whakauru atu. Tērā pea ka ataata mārire ia, kātahi ka huna ki te kata, ki te titiro pōuri rānei. Ko tēnei ataata ngawari he tohu matua o te aroha. Me te mea nei kei te kī ia "Āe, harikoa ahau i mihi mai koe" i roto i te waehere wahangu.

Te pānui e pā ana: 21 Ngā Tohu e Hiahia Ana Ia Kia Tino Mōhio Koe Ki A Ia

12. Ka āta whakapuaki ia i ōna kare ā-roto

Ina kitea ia e koe i roto i tētahi kōrerorero takitahi, tirohia mēnā ka whakakitea e ia ētahi kōrero whaiaro. He uaua ki ngā tāne whakama te whakapuaki i ō rātou whakaaro, engari ki te whakapuaki ia i tētahi mea nui ki a koe, pērā i te āwangawanga, i te moemoeā rānei, he mea nui tēnā. Hei tauira, ka whakaae pea ia he tangata pukumahi ia, ka kōrero rānei mō te mataku o te kōrero ki a koe. te ngoikore o te tāne i te taha o te wahine Pērā i te tāne whakama, he tohu nui tēnā e noho haumaru ana ia i a koe, ā, e hiahia ana kia hohonu ake tōna hononga ki a koe. 

13. He pai ake ki a ia te wā takitahi me koe

He maha ngā wā ka puāwai ngā tāne whakama i roto i ngā wāhi tūmataiti. Tērā pea ka āhua whakama ia i roto i te mano, engari i roto i te wāhi marino, ka puare ake tōna ngākau. Ki te kite koe kei te harikoa ia ki te kōrero takitahi, he tohu tēnā kei te pai ake ia ki reira. Tērā pea ka tuku ia i a ia anō ki te tiki kawhe, ki te hikoi tahi rānei "kotahi" i raro i te āhua o te haere tahi me koe ki tō tatau kia pai ai tō hokinga ki te kāinga. Ina he marino te tāne i tō taha i roto i te wāhi tūmatanui, engari ka puare mai ina ko kōrua anake, he tohu pai tēnā.

13 ngā mahi a te tangata ina kore ia e aro ki a koe

Ki te kore te tāne e aro ki a koe, ka kitea tana whanonga i te kore o te kaha, te aro, te whai wāhi rānei ki ngā kare ā-roto. Kāore i rite ki ngā tāne whakama, e whakaatu tonu ana i ngā tohu o te manukanuka, o te aroha ngawari rānei, ko te tāne kore aro ka mahi tawhiti, ka noho motuhake rānei. Tērā pea ka karo ia i ngā kōrero, ka whakakore pinepine i ngā mahere, ka taunekeneke noa rānei ki a koe ina tino tika. He tohu mārama ēnei whanonga kāore ia e aro nui ana ki a koe, ki tō hononga rānei. Me tūhuratia atu ēnei tauira mā te titiro ki ngā huarahi 13 e mahi ai te tāne ina kore ia e aro ki a koe, kia taea ai e koe te mōhio ki ngā tohu me te mārama kua tae ki te wā kia neke atu.

1. Kāore rawa ia e tīmata whakapā atu

Ki te kore ia e hiahia, e kore rawa ia e whakapā atu ki a koe. Tērā pea ka kite koe,

• tenei kāore te tangata e tuku karere tuatahi, engari ka whakautu mai ina tīmatahia he kōrero
• Kāore ia e tuku noa i ngā meme rorirori, e takiuru rānei
• Ka tino onge ngā waeatanga, ngā karere whaiaro rānei
• Ka roa te wā, ka maroke te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero

Ki te kore koe e rongo i a ia mō ngā rā, ā, ko koe tonu te tangata e waea mai ana, he tohu nui tēnā. Ka whakautu te tangata e aroha ana ki a koe i te waea.

2. He whakamārama tonu tāna

Tērā pea ka whakaae ia ki te noho noa iho, engari ka whakarerekē i ngā wā, ka whakarerekē rānei i ngā hui. Hei tauira, ka mea ia, "Me tiki kawhe tāua", engari ka whakakore i te meneti whakamutunga, ā, kāore e kī ana he wā anō. Ko tēnei momo whakarite mahere, kātahi ka wareware noa iho, he mahi tawhito tēnei o te kore aro. 

E kī ana a Tākuta Bhonsle, "Ki te whakarite wā ia i te meneti whakamutunga, ka huri tonu i te wā, ka whakaroa tonu, kāore ia e tino aro ki a koe. I roto i te whakaipoipo hauora, ka whai wā te tāne e aro nui ana. Engari ki te mea he mea kē tana kaupapa i ia wā, he mea āta whakaarohia pea." Ko te maha o ngā "tirotiro ua" he tikanga kāore ia e aro nui ana ki a koe, ā, e ngana ana ki te karo i te whakapau kaha.

Te pānui e pā ana: Ka taea e koe te rongo ina pai tetahi ki a koe? 9 Ngā mea ka pā ki a koe

3. Ka takaro ia ki ētahi atu, ka kōrero rānei mō ētahi atu wāhine

Mātakitaki mēnā ka whakahuatia e ia ngā ingoa o ētahi atu wāhine i roto i te kōrero i mua i a koe. Mēnā ka kōrero noa ia mō te ātaahua o tētahi hoa, mō tana haerenga rānei ki tētahi rā, ā, kāore i a koe, kia tūpato, ā, kati te pātai, "He aha ngā tāne whakama e kore ai e aro?"

• Ehara tēnei i te whakama te tangata e tuku ana i ngā tohu whakaranu i roto i te ngana ki te huna i ōna kare ā-roto
• He tangata tēnei e kī ana ki a koe kāore ia e hiahia ana
• Engari ko te aro atu ki a koe, kei te tohu atu ia ki tētahi atu

He tohu kaha tēnei katoa kāore koe i roto i tana pikitia aroha.

4. Kāore e taea te kōrero i tana reo tinana

Ko ngā tohu e pai ana te tangata whakama ki a koe engari e ngana ana kia kaua e whakaatu i te mea i kōrerotia e tātou, ka ngaro rawa atu ina kore te tangata e aro ki a koe. Engari, ka tūtaki koe ki ngā tauira reo tinana kino e kitea ana. Mātakitaki me pēhea tana tūnga i a ia e kōrero ana koe. Ko ētahi o ngā tohu reo tinana e whakaatu ana i tōna kore aro ko:

• Kua tahuri ke tōna tinana
• Kua whiti ōna ringa
• He maha ngā wā ka titiro atu ōna kanohi ki te putanga
• Tērā pea ka tū ia me tōna tuara e haurua ana te tahuri, ka pupuri rānei i tōna tawhiti
• Ina kōrero koe, kāore ia e pōkaikaha, e menemene pono rānei. Engari, ka tirotiro pea ia i te rūma.

Ko te tikanga o ēnei mahi he "Kāore au i te aro nui ki a ia." Ki te kite koe kei te tahuri ke atu ia i a koe, he rite tonu ki te tahuri ke.

Te pānui e pā ana: 15 Ngā Tohu Mārama Kāore tō hoa aroha e pai ki a koe

5. Kāore ia e rerekē ana ki a koe i ētahi atu

Ki te kore te tāne e aro ki a koe, ka rite tana mahi ki tana mahi ki ētahi atu hoa, ki ngā hoa rānei. Ahakoa tō noho mai, tō ngaro atu rānei, kāore he pānga ki tōna wairua. Kāore anō kia rerekē tana reo, ana katakata, me tana reo tinana i a koe. E kī ana a Tākuta Bhonsle, "Ina aro te tāne ki tētahi kōtiro, he iti noa te rerekētanga o tana taunekeneke ki a ia. Ki te kore tēnā, koinei te tohu kia neke atu koe." 

Ahakoa kei te takaro ia ki a koe, kei te ngana rānei ki te noho tahi me koe, ā, ka pērā anō hoki tana mahi ki ngā kōtiro katoa i tōna taha. Ki te kitea ia e mahi ana i tēnei, he tohu tēnei kāore he mura o te aroha mōu. Ki te mea kua pōhēhē koe i tana whanonga, kotahi te whakamātautau ngāwari hei whakaora i a koe i roto i tō mamae: tirohia tana kōrero ki ētahi atu wāhine. Ki te kore rawa he maimoatanga motuhake māu, he hoa noa iho pea ia.

6. Te āhua nei kāore ia e aro ki a koe, kāore rānei ia e aro ki a koe

He tohu nui te kore aro ki a koe. Ahakoa kei reira koe, kāore rānei, ka noho noa te tangata kāore e aro ki a koe. E kore ia e riri, e hae, e kore hoki e ahua harikoa ki te kite i a koe. Ki te mea kāore he rerekētanga o tō aroaro, tō ngaro rānei ki tōna wairua, he tohu tēnā. Hei tauira, ki te tino marino ia i a koe e poroporoaki ana, ā, kāore he kare ā-roto e kitea ana i tō hokinga mai, tera pea kāore ia e aro nui ana ki a ia.

Waihoki, ki te mea kei te noho tahi kōrua, ā, e takaro ana ia i tana waea pūkoro, kāore rānei e aro ki a koe, kei te pupuri ia i te tawhiti o ngā kare ā-roto. Ina he "koretake" ngā mea katoa e pā ana ki ō taunekeneke, he maha ngā wā ka mau tonu ia i a koe i roto i tōna hinengaro.

7. Ka mea noa ia "kia ora", kātahi ka hikoi atu

Ka tino pōhēhē pea tēnei whanonga. Ka ruru koe i tō ringa, ka mihi atu rānei, ā, ka pōkaikaha ia, ka kōrero puku rānei, "Kia ora," engari ka tahuri tonu ia, ka haere tonu rānei ki tāna mahi. Kāore ia e mahi i tetahi atu mea. He tokomaha te hunga e pātai ana, "He aha te tikanga o te mihi mai a te tangata ki a koe engari kāore e kōrero ki a koe?" I te nuinga o te wā, ko te tikanga he atawhai ia, engari kāore ia e hiahia ki te whakauru atu. 

• Ka mihi atu ia ki a koe me te ngākau māhaki, engari kātahi ka pōkarekare noa iho, ka neke atu.
• Kāore ia e pātai i ngā pātai whai muri, e kōrero pakupaku rānei
• Me i hiahia ia, tera pea ka noho roa ia, ka whakamātau rānei ki te tīmata kōrero
• He huarahi ngawari tēnei "hīkoi-ā-ringa" ohorere hei tohu i te kore aro
• Whakaarohia he whakatakoto rohe ātaahua. Kāore ia i te whanoke, engari he iti noa iho ngā mea.

Te pānui e pā ana: 18 Ngā Tohu Kāore Ia e Hiahia Ana ki te Hononga ki a Koe, Me Te Aha Hei Mahi

8. Ka haere atu ia ina kite ia i a koe

I ētahi wā ka kitea tōna kore aro i roto i ngā huarahi tino tūturu, ā, ka kite pea koe e karo tinana ana ia i a koe. Hei tauira,

• Te whiti i te huarahi i te kitenga i a koe
• E piko ana i muri i tētahi
• Huri i tētahi ara rerekē ina whakatata atu koe
• Titiro atu kia kore ai e tūtaki ngā kanohi

Na, te he tohu kāore te tangata e aro ki a koe kāore i taea te mārama ake. He maha ngā wā he karo ā-tauira tēnei. Mena kua pātai koe, "He aha te tikanga o te haere atu o tētahi tāne ina kite ia i a koe?", ko te whakautu tika ko: kāore ia e hiahia ki te taunekeneke. Ka mahia e ia ngā mea katoa hei karo i tētahi kōrero. Ko tēnei whanonga he tiaki i a ia anō i tōna taha. Engari i te noho i roto i tētahi āhuatanga whakamā, he pai ake ki a ia te oma. Ehara i te tohu pai mōu. Ko te tikanga pea kāore ia e hiahia ki te mahi tahi me koe i roto i tētahi āhuatanga.

9. Ka pupuri ia i ngā kōrero kia mata noa iho

He tohu tino kitea, he papaku noa iho ana kōrero katoa.

• Ka karo ia i te kōrero i tetahi mea whaiaro, i te whai wāhi rānei ki ngā kōrero hōhonu ki a koe
• Ki te kore ia e pātai mai mō tō oranga, e kore e mahara ki ngā kōrero taipitopito i whakapuakina e kōrua, ā, e whakaiti ana i te kōrero, he tohu tēnā kua kore ia e aro atu ki a koe.
• Tērā pea ka whakautua e ia ō pātai mā te kupu kotahi, ka huri wawe rānei i ngā kaupapa ina tino "hōhonu" rawa ngā kōrero.
• He rite tonu tana mahi ki te kōrerorero ki a koe me te mea e kōrero ana ia ki tētahi tangata tauhou

Ehara tēnā i te mea ka tupu ina pai tetahi ki a koe. Mēnā ka pērā, ka rapu ia i ngā whai wāhitanga ki te kōrero ki a koe, ki te kōrero pono ki a koe. 

10. Ka takahi ia i ana mahere, ka meinga rānei koe kia whaia ia e ia

Ki te kore ia e aro ki a koe, e kore ia e whakapau kaha ki te whakapau i te wā ki a koe.

• Tērā pea ka karanga koe i a ia kia haere, engari ka kī tonu ia he pukumahi ia, ā, kāore e tūtohu i tētahi atu rā.
• Ka whakamōmo ia i te reo irirangi i muri i te whakakorenga o ngā mahere
• Ka whakamahia e te tangata kore aro te pukumahi, te whakamārama rānei hei whakangungu rakau
• Tērā pea ka whakaae ia ki tētahi wā whakangāwari noa i te tīmatanga, engari kātahi ka tino "pukumahi" ina tae ki te wā hei whakaū.

Ki te kitea koe e mahi ana i ngā mahi katoa hei whakarite, ā, kāore ia e mahi tahi, ko tētahi o ngā mahi tino kaha rawa atu tēnā. ngā haki whero i te atamira kōrero ngā wāhanga tōmua rānei o te hononga e whanake ana.

Te pānui e pā ana: 21 Ngā Tohu Whakahē Kāore Ia i Aroha ki a Koe

11. Kāore ia e kōrero tika atu ki a koe

He rite tēnei ki te "kia ora, kātahi ka wehe," engari he whānui ake.

• Ina noho kōrua i roto i te rūma kotahi, ina hikoi tahi rānei kōrua, ka noho puku ia, ka tahuri ke rānei tana aro
• Tērā pea ka kōrero ia ki te katoa i tō taha, engari kāore e kōrero ana i tetahi kupu ki a koe
• Tērā pea ka karohia e ia ngā āhuatanga takitahi
• Ki te ngana koe ki te kukume i a ia ki tahaki hei kōrero, ka kitea e ia he ara ki waho, ka neke atu rānei

He rerekē tēnei momo whanonga i te whakama. Kei te tino whakakahore ia ki te kōrero ki a koe.

12. Ka piri ia ki ngā kōrerorero rōpū, ki ngā pāpāho pāpori rānei

Waihoki, me āta tirotiro i tana momo whakawhitiwhiti kōrero e pai ana ki a ia.

• Tērā pea ka taunekeneke noa te tāne kāore e aro ana mā roto i ngā karere rōpū, i ngā pou pāpāho pāpori rānei, ehara i te mea tūmataiti.
• Tērā pea ka pai ia ki tō whakaahua Instagram, ki tō kōrero rānei i roto i tētahi kōrerorero rōpū, engari ka kite koe kāore ia e tuku karere tika atu ki a koe.
• Ki te tuku karere mai ia ki a koe i te ipurangi, he poto noa iho, ā, e kore rawa e huri hei kōrero tūturu.

Ko te tikanga, kāore ia e kōrero whaiaro. Ki te kore ia e pai ki te waea mai, ki te kōrero takitahi rānei, he maha ngā wā kāore ia i te tino aro.

13. Ka takaro ia ki ētahi atu kōtiro i runga i te tūmatanui

Ko te tohu tino kitea pea kāore te tāne e aro ki a koe ko tana takaro noa ki a ia, te āhua nei rānei te kukume i ētahi atu wāhine i a koe i reira.

• Ka kata ia ki ā rātou katakata
• E mihi ana ki a rātou
• E ngana ana ki te kukume i tō rātou aro
• Ko te mea kino rawa atu, tera pea ka rite ia ki tētahi atu "hoa"

Ki te kite koe i a ia e titiro mārire ana, e tuku karere ana rānei ki tētahi atu, me whakaatu e tēnā te katoa ki a koe. Ina pai te tangata ki a koe, kāore ia e wareware ki ētahi atu kōwhiringa. Engari, ka whakamārama ia ko koe anake. Nō reira, ki te mea he mārama tana hiahia ki tētahi atu tangata, engari he koretake tana mahi ki a koe, kua tae ki te wā kia neke atu.

He Māmā te Tāne, Kāore rānei i te Hiahia: Me pēhea te Whakautu

Kia mōhio koe mēnā he whakama, he kore aro rānei tana whanonga, ka pātai ake: me pēhea tāu whakautu? He ngāwari te whakaaro nui ki ia titiro, ki ia wā rānei, engari he māmā ake te pono. Ki te whakaatu mai ana tohu he whakama ia, engari e ngana ana, mā te whakatenatena iti mai i tō taha ka māmā ake te mahi māna. I tētahi atu taha, ki te kore ia e whakaatu i tētahi kaha, me haere atu koe.

Mena he mā ia engari he hiahia

Ina kite koe ko ōna io anake te mea e aukati ana i a ia, ehara tō mahi i te whai, i te tākaro uaua ki te tiki kia aro mai ai ia ki a ia, engari kia hoatu he wāhi iti ki a ia kia noho humarie ai. He maha ngā wā ka hiahia ngā tāne whakama ki te whakamanawa mārie kāore rātou i te kino ki a rātou. Mā te ataata atawhai, mā te kōrero poto, mā te wā noho tahi rānei ka taea te whakaiti i te pēhanga, ā, ka tukua ia kia noho haumaru ki te whakapuaki i ōna whakaaro.

• Ataata mai anōMā te ataata mahana e whakaatu kei te tuwhera koe ki tōna aroaro, ā, ka hoatu ki a ia te māia ki te noho tonu ki te aro atu. E mea ana te tohunga hinengaro, a Tākuta Wendy Patrick, "He rerekē ngā kōrero a te hunga whakama, engari mā te tohu ngāwari o te whakaae ka taea e rātou te whakatenatena i a rātou kia anga whakamua."
• Tīmatahia ngā kōrero māmāWhakahuatia ngā kaupapa ngāwari pēnei i te meme rorirori, he kiriata tata nei, he mea rānei e pā ana ki a koe. He uaua ki ngā tāne whakama te tīmata kōrero, engari mā te wawahi i te hukapapa, ka āwhina i a rātou kia puare mārire me te kore he pēhanga.
• Waihangahia ngā whai wāhitanga takitahiWhakaarohia ngā wāhi marino, kāore ia e mātakitakihia ana. He wāhi mārie rā kawhe He rite tonu ki te tokorua e noho tahi ana, e hikoi ana ki te akomanga, e mahi tahi ana rānei i tētahi mahi iti. E whakamārama ana a Tākuta Bhonsle, "Ka tino haumaru te hunga whakama ina ngaro atu te aro, ā, ka puta te whanaungatanga piripono i ngā wā marino, takitahi."
• Whakamihihia ngā mahi itiKi te mahara ia ki ngā kōrero i kōrerotia e koe, ki te tuku mai rānei i ngā mahi atawhai iti, me whakaatu he mihi pono. Ka whakaū tēnei i tana kitenga me te whakanui i ana mahi, ahakoa he iti. Ki ngā tāne whakama, he mea nui taua whakamana ki te hanga i te whakapono ki a ia anō.
• Whakangāwaritia ōna ioKaua e akiaki i a ia ki te whakapuaki i ana kōrero māia. Mā ētahi kupu atawhai, mā te kata ngāwari rānei ki ana katakata ka taea e ia te whakamanawanui i a koe e pai ana ki tōna whakama. I roto i te wā, mā aua whakamanawanui iti ka āwhina i a ia ki te whakawhirinaki ki te hononga.

Te pānui e pā ana: He aha ngā tāne e titiro mai ai ki ahau, engari kāore e menemene? 15 ngā take pea

Ki te kore ia e hiahia

Ki te kore tana whanonga e whakaatu i ngā tohu o te whakapau kaha, te manaaki pono rānei, ko te mahi pai ko te tiaki i tō ake rangimārie. He mea whakamatautau te rapu tonu i ngā whakamārama mō tōna tawhiti, engari ko te kore aro he whakautu mārama. Kāore koe e hiahia ki te akiaki, ki te tumanako tonu rānei. Ka tōia noa koe ki te pouri. I ētahi wā ko te nekehanga hauora ko te whakaae ki a ia, tukua ō kare ā-roto, ā, haere atu.

• Kia mōhio ki āna tauiraKia aro ki te auau. Ki te kore ia e tīmata, e whakakore ana i ngā wā katoa, e pupuri ana rānei i ngā mea kia kitea noa iho, koinā te whakautu. E kī ana a Tākuta Bhonsle, "Ko te iti o te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero tētahi o ngā tohu mārama o te memeha haere o te hiahia."
• Kati te haumi nui rawaKi te mea ko koe tonu te tangata e toro atu ana, e whakamahere ana rānei, hoki whakamuri. Me rite te aroha ki te aroha kotahi, kaua e rite ki te mea kei te kukume koe i tetahi. Ka nui ake tāu hoatu me te kore e hoki mai, ka nui ake tō ngenge.
• Te whakanui i te mahi tahiArotahi ki ngā hononga e whakaatu ana te tangata kē e hiahia ana ia ki te noho ki reira. hononga hauora he mea hanga i runga i te tauutuutu, ā, e tika ana kia whiwhi koe i tētahi e kaha ana ki te haumi ki a koe
• Wehea te ngākau māhaki mai i te kukumeKaua e whakapoauautia te "kia ora," te ataata, te kōrero poto rānei me te hiahia pono. Ko te atawhai he wāhanga o te whanonga pāpori. Kāore i te mau tonu te tikanga aroha.
• Whakaritehia koeHe mamae pea te mōhio kāore tetahi e pai ana ki a koe, engari mā te wehe atu ka wātea te wāhi kare ā-roto mō tētahi hononga hauora ake. Kia maumahara koe he pai ake te māramatanga, ahakoa he mamae, i te tōia tonu i te koretake

Thoughts Final

E kite ana koe, "He mā ia, he kore rānei e hiahia?", ehara i te mea uaua rawa atu i whakaarohia e koe. He tino whakamārama te whanonga o te tangata i roto i ēnei āhuatanga e rua. Ko te reo wiri o te tangata mā, ko te ataata tere, ko te titiro huna rānei, he tohu katoa kei te aro ia engari kei te mataku. Ko te tangata kāore e hiahia, ka whakahē tonu i a koe. Nō reira, kua tae ki te wā ki te pātai ki a koe anō i te pātai uaua: ko tēhea momo whanonga e uru ana? Mena kei te tuku tohu mā ia, tera pea me whakatenatena koe e koe. Mena kei te whakaatu ia i ngā tohu o te kore hiahia, kua tae ki te wā ki te whakaae ki te pono.

20 Ngā Tohu Kāore e Whakakahoretia e Aroha Ana To Tangata Tinana Ki A Koe

15 Ngā Tohu Pono Kāore ia e Hiahia kia riro koe i tētahi atu

Te āhua o te kī a ngā tāne 'Kei te aroha ahau ki a koe' me te kore e kōrero i tetahi mea

Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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