9 Ngā Mea Hei Mahi Hei Whakamau i te Aroha o te Tāne ki a Koe

Porohia te aroha

Āe, ko te pātai tēnei kāore e taea e tātou katoa te pātai. He mano ngā tohutohu mō te kimi i te tangata o ō moemoeā, engari e wareware ana tātou ko te hinga ki te aroha he tīmatanga noa iho o te haerenga katoa. He rite ki te tomo ki taua whare wānanga kotahi i tino hiahia koe ki te uru atu, engari kāore he tangata e kī ana ki a koe me aha koe ina tae koe ki reira. Waihoki, ehara i te mea ngāwari te pupuri i tētahi whanaungatanga me te mea kia mau tonu te aroha o tētahi tāne, wahine rānei ki a koe.

Ehara te aroha i te mea ko te aroha anake. Ko te aroha te noho tahi i muri i te hinganga. Ko te kōwhiringa tonu tēnei e mahia ana e te tangata i a rātou e noho tahi ana i ia rā, i ia rā. Ahakoa kāore he tikanga tūturu hei pupuri i tētahi ki a koe (he rite tonu ki te mauhere i tētahi, ki te pono), he mea anō ka taea e koe te mahi hei whakarite kia noho tonu tō whanaungatanga hei wāhi aroha.

Ahakoa he āhuatanga e kore e taea e ngā tāne te whakahē i roto i ngā wāhine, he āhuatanga anō hoki e memeha ai tōna ngākau. Ka kōrero atu mātou ki a koe ngā mea ngaro o te noho porangi i roto i te aroha, kia kore ai koe e mahi i ngā mea hē, e pana atu rānei i tō hoa mā te whakararu i tōna wāhi whaiaro.

Ngā Huarahi Hei Pupuri i tōna Aroha ki a Koe Ake Tonu

Ripanga o Ihirangi

Me tīmata ohorere koe ki te tautoko i tana tīma hākinakina tino pai ki a ia? Me haere tahi koe ki ngā pō whakangahau a ana tama? Mā te mahi i taua mea e pai ana ki a ia i runga i te moenga ka nui hei mea kia mau tonu ai tōna aroha ki a koe? Ahakoa he āhua papaku noa iho ēnei mea katoa, tera pea kua whakaarohia e koe tētahi o ēnei hei whakautu ki te pātai "me pēhea te pupuri i te aroha o te tāne ki a koe ake tonu atu".

Engari, ka hē tana mahi tinihanga i te wā tonu ka tīmata koe ki te tautoko i te tīma hē mā te tūpono. Ka kino katoa ngā tama ki tō aroaro i te pō o ngā tama, ā, tera pea ka noho tonu ia i taua tūnga moepuku mō tētahi wā, engari kāore e roa. Ahakoa he uaua te āhua, ehara i te mea uaua te kimi "me pēhea te pupuri i te aroha o te tāne ki a koe".

He rerekē ngā huarahi e whakapuaki ai te tāne me te wahine i te aroha. Nō reira, i mua i tō urunga atu ki tana "wā mōku" utu nui, tirohia ēnei mea ngaro hei pupuri i te aroha. Kia oti, ka mōhio koe kāore i te uaua pērā i tō whakaaro.

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1. Kōrerohia aua kupu e toru

Ae, ko te whaki aroha te tikanga. He mārama noa iho tēnei, engari kāore e taea te whakanui rawa i tōna hiranga. I roto i ngā mahi o ia rā, o ia rā, ka wareware te tangata ki te kōrero tetahi ki tetahi e aroha ana rātou tetahi ki tetahi. Nā te mea koinei te take i tae mai ai rātou ki reira i te tuatahi, he mea nui kia whakahuatia.

Pērā i te mantra, he mea hei pupuri i te ora o ngā mea. Kāore au i te kī atu me kōrero anō kia ngaro rā anō tōna tikanga, engari i te mutunga o te rā, me kī atu ki tāu tāne e arohaina ana rāua. He whakamaumahara tēnei mā kōrua.

2. He mea whakahihiri te māia

He whakaaro tō te tangata e mōhio ana ki te ao, ā, kāore ia e mataku ki te whakapuaki i aua whakaaro. Koinei tētahi o ngā mea tino ataahua ka taea e te tangata te whakaatu. Ae, ko te kimi huarahi hei pupuri i te aroha o te tangata ki a koe ake tonu atu he mea ngāwari noa iho, arā, te māia, te whai tuakiri pakari, me te tuku i tētahi mea hinengaro.

Mena he wahine pērā koe, e hiahia ana ki ngā mea e tū ana, ā, kāore e wehi ki te whakapuaki i ō whakaaro, he mea tino whakahihiri tō whakapono ki a koe mō te nuinga o ngā tāne . He pai ki a rātou te kite i ā rātou hoa e kōrero ana me te ngākau nui mō ngā mea. Ā, ko te hunga e whakapono ana ki ngā tikanga tawhito, e whakaiti ana i a rātou anō i roto i ēnei āhuatanga, kāore e tika kia whai wāhi ki roto i tō whanaungatanga. Mena kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te meinga ia kia hiahia ki a koe, koinei pea te mea tika.

3. Tangohia tētahi whārangi mai i te pukapuka a Thelma rāua ko Louise

He pūrākau a Thelma and Louise mō ngā wāhine e rua e mahi hara ana, ā, ka mutu (he whakatūpato mō ngā mea ngaro) ka whakamomori ngātahi rāua, kaua e hopukia e ngā pirihimana. Kāore au e tono ana kia taraiwa ngātahi kōrua i te pari, engari ko te whakaaro ka tautokohia ia e kōrua he mea tino nui ki ngā tāne, he mea miharo nōku kāore anō kia tino mōhiotia.

Ko te whakaaro ka whawhai koe ki a ia mēnā koinā anake te mea e hiahiatia ana. Ina kite ia ko koe tētahi tangata hei hanga tahi māna i tētahi emepaea, he mea tēnei e hiahia ai ia ki te whakapau i te toenga o tōna wā ki a koe. Ko te mea ngaro ki te noho aroha i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga ko te tautoko. Ina mōhio tō tāne kei a koe tōna tuara i tētahi wā, ka whakarite ia ka hoatu e ia tōna katoa ki a koe.

Me pēhea te pupuri i te aroha o te tangata ki a koe: tautoko i a ia — Ina tautoko koe i a ia, ka noho tonu ia

4. Kei te pēhea ngā tamariki?

E pā ana tēnei ki ngā ira tangata e rua, me te hunga e hiahia ana ki te whānau tamariki ā muri ake nei. Ko te āhua o tō noho tahi me ngā tamariki, me te tere o tō rātou aroha ki a koe, he whakamātautau mārama tēnei e hiahia ana te nuinga o te hunga i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga kia kite i ngā hua. He tokomaha ka whiwhi i te whakaaro "he kaitiaki tēnei", he momo kare ā-roto ki ā rātou hoa mēnā he ataahua rātou ki ngā tamariki.

Nō reira, ki te kore kōrua ko tō hoa e whakaaro ana ki te whānau tamariki, me mahi pea kōrua i tēnei. Ki te mea he pai kē tā kōrua mahi ki ngā tamariki, kua angitu kē kōrua i tēnei mara.

5. Te kaha o te kare ā-roto

Ehara ngā tāne i te hunga kore whakaaro e kore e mārama ki ngā kare ā-roto. He pakiwaitara tēnā. Heoi, kua whakaritea rātou e te ahurea kia iti ake te whakaatu i ngā kare ā-roto i ngā wāhine. He tohutohu whanaungatanga tino nui tēnei mā ngā wāhine. E kīia ana ki a rātou he ngoikore te whakaatu i ō kare ā-roto, ā, ka raru pea ētahi o rātou ki te whakapuaki i ō rātou kare ā-roto.

He mea whakarihariha te āhua tāne paitini , ā, koinei tētahi o ngā mea e akohia ana e ngā tāne. He aha te pānga o tēnā ki te pātai kei mua i a koe, e pātai ana pea koe?

Nā te wehi o ngā kare ā-roto, he hē te kaha o tō rātou mārama me te whakaute i a rātou. Nō reira, ki te whakaaro koe mā te kōrero takitahi i ngā kare ā-roto rātou e kite i te māramatanga, me tatari pea koe mō te wā roa.

Ki te mea he tangata tino kaha koe ki te whakapuaki i ō kare ā-roto, me aromatawai koe mēnā ka mārama tō hoa ki a ia, kāore rānei. Ki te kore, ka kitea noa e koe te pouri me te koretake o te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero e tatari ana ki a koe. Tērā pea ka roa te wā, engari ki te ngana koe ki te kōrero i tana reo, ki te mea rānei kia kōrero ia i tāu ake reo, tera pea ka pai ake te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero tetahi ki tetahi, ā, koinei te pūtake o te whanaungatanga pumau.

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6. He nui te painga o ngā nekehanga māmā

Kawea mai tana kai tino pai ki a ia, tunua rānei tana kai tino pai ki a ia. He tino pai ki ngā tāne ina mahara koe ki ā rātou kai tino pai. He tino pai ki te iwi whānui. Ka taea e koe te mahi i taua mea anō ki ō whanaunga katoa. Waihoki, hoko noa i ana mea tino pai mēnā kei te noho wehe kōrua. Ina toro atu ia, ka kite i aua mea, ehara i te mea ko te mea anake e pai ana ki a ia ka riro i a ia. Ka kite hoki ia kua kite koe, kua aroha hoki ki a koe, ā, kua hokona e koe māna.

Mā ngā mahi ngāwari o te whakaatu i te aroha ka whakamanawanui ia i tō aroha ki a ia. Ka hoki anō ia ki te aroha nui ki a koe. Kāore pea ia e kōrero i ngā wā katoa, nā te mea he ngoikore te whakapuaki i ō kare ā-roto (he tino whakarihariha te tāne paitini!), engari ka kitea e ia.

7. Whakamoemititia ia i mua i ō hoa

Ko tētahi huarahi hei whakaatu i tō tautoko i a ia ko te whakamoemiti i a ia i mua i ō hoa. Mā te kī noa, "E tama mā, i mahia e taku hoa tāne te mea tino reka inanahi", ka whakama ia, ka hae hoki ō hoa wahine katoa. E rua ngā manu, kotahi te kōhatu.

Ehara i te mea ko ō hoa anake, engari ka taea hoki e koe te mahi i tēnei i mua i ōna hoa. Ahakoa he pai ki ngā tāne te whakaatu i a rātou anō he toa i mua i ō rātou hoa (he tāne paitini paitini paitini paitini!), tera pea ka taea e koe te mihi ki te kata o tō hoa, ki tana haere tonu rānei ki te whare takaro. Kāore āna hoa tāne e tawai ki a ia mō tēnā, ā, kua kitea e koe me pēhea te pupuri i te aroha o te tāne ki a koe.

8. Tiakina ia

Mō te whakanui i a ia, ki te kite koe i ō rātou hoa, i ō rātou mātua rānei e whakahē noa ana i a ia, e kōrero ana rānei i tētahi mea whakatoi, tiakina ia i mua i te katoa. Kāore koe e hiahia ki te whawhai ki te ringa, engari ahakoa te whakahē i tētahi, he kōrero kino pea i roto i tēnei āhuatanga.

Mā te tautohetohe noa iho, me te kore e whakanui i tō reo, ka mārama te kaupapa. Ki te tika, kia kaha ake te tū. He mea nui ki a rātou te tautoko i tāu tāne, ā, ka tino aroha ia ki a koe.

9. Whakaaetia te whānau whāngai

Ki te whakatau kōrua ko tāu tāne kia whakamanahia te whanaungatanga, ehara i te mea ko te whakapuaki i runga i te Instagram kei roto kōrua i tētahi hononga, engari ko te marena, ko te neke atu rānei, me hohou pea kōrua i te rongo ki te porowhita o ōna hoa. Ki te kite ia i a koe e ngana ana ki te wehe i a ia i ōna hoa, ka kino tana urupare, ā, ka waiho tonu hei take tautohetohe.

Kāore koe e hiahia ki te noho tahi me rātou i ngā wā katoa, engari me whakaae koe kei te noho tahi rātou. Ki te taea e koe te noho hoa ki a rātou, kāore he raruraru, engari ki te kore, me urutau ngā hoa e rua ki ngā rōpū o tētahi ki tētahi.

Heoi, ki te mōhio koe he kino ētahi o ōna hoa ki a ia, kāore he aha ki te kī atu he aha koe i whakaaro ai kāore ia e tika kia noho tahi me rātou. Kaua e akiaki rawa i te kaupapa. A te wā e kore ai tōna hoa e whakahoki mai i te moni e nama ana ki a ia, ka mōhio ia anō.

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Ko te nuinga o ngā mea kua whakahuatia i konei kāore i te hāngai ki te ira tangata. Tērā pea ka taka te tangata i roto i ngā ara ngaro, e ai ki te waiata, engari kāore te wheako ira tangata e rerekē i ngā wā katoa. Ko te huarahi e whakaatu ai rātou i ō rātou kare ā-roto ka rerekē i runga i te āhua o te hapori, engari he mea noa ngā kaupapa matua o te aroha. Mā te whakaute tetahi ki tetahi, te tautoko tetahi i tetahi, me te pono ka noho tonu te tangata i roto i te whanaungatanga, ka porangi hoki i te aroha.

FAQs

1. He aha te mea e tino aroha ai te tāne ki te wahine?

Mā te mōhio kei te tautoko ia i a ia i ana mahi katoa, me te kī noa atu e aroha ana ia ki a ia, ka nui noa atu tēnā mō te tangata kia tino aroha ki tana wahine.

2. Me pēhea e taea ai e koe te meinga te tāne kia hiahia ki a koe?

Ki te hiahia koe kia hiahia mai tētahi tāne ki a koe, ko tāu noa he aro ki ana hiahia me ana wawata. Kia maioha ki ana nekehanga, kia atawhai ki a ia, kia mihi atu ki a ia, kia aro atu ki a ia me te whakaute tonu i tōna wāhi whaiaro. Heoi, ki te hiahia koe ki te whakawai i tētahi tāne , ehara i te mea uaua rawa.

3. Me pēhea taku pupuri i a ia kia hiahia tonu?

Mā te tautoko noa i a ia, te kī atu i te nui o tō aroha ki a ia, me te noho i konei hei tautoko i a ia, ka whakaū koe i tō tūranga i roto i tōna ao.

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