Kia pēhea te roa o te hinga ki te aroha?

He rite te aroha ki te makutu—he mea kāore e taea te matapae, he kaha, ā, he maha ngā wā kāore e taea e tātou te whakahaere. Engari kia pēhea te roa o te aroha? He mea noa iho rānei i roto i ngā rā, i ngā wiki, i ngā marama rānei? Ko te pono, kāore he wā kotahi e tika ana mō te katoa. Ko ētahi tāngata e oati ana i roto i ngā rā kua mōhio rātou, ko ētahi ia, ka roa pea ngā marama, tae noa ki ngā tau ka mōhio ai kua aroha rātou ki tētahi. 

Kāore te aroha e puta i runga i tētahi wātaka pakari, engari mā te mārama ki ngā tauira whānui ka taea te whakamarie. Kia tūhuratia te haerenga o te aroha—te roa o te wā e aroha ai ki tētahi, te āhua o te aroha, me te aha te mahi ina pā ki a koe.

He aha te tikanga o te hinga ki te aroha

Ina kī koe kei te "hinga" koe, e toru ngā wheako e pā ana ki a koe. Ko te Limerence te arotahi kaha, te aro nui ki tētahi tangata. Ka moemoeā koe, ka tirotiro i tō waea, ka rongo i ngā piki me ngā heke. Ka tāpirihia e te aroha ngākau nui te hiahia kaha me te whakaaro pai me te tipu haere o te piripono o ngā kare ā-roto. Ko te aroha hoa te wāhanga pumau e ahua haumaru ana, e mahana ana, e hangaia ana i runga i te whakawhirinaki me te oranga tahi. Ko te kukume te mura e kukume ana i a koe ki roto. 

Ko te aroha noa he kaha e memeha haere ana me te kore e mōhio pono ki te tangata. Aroha aroha ko te wāhi tēnei e tūtaki ai te hiahia me te piripono hohonu. 

Te pūtaiao me te hinengaro o te hinga ki te aroha

He tukanga koiora, he tukanga hinengaro hoki te taka ki te aroha. Ka tukuna e tō roro te dopamine, te oxytocin, me te serotonin e hanga ana i te hiahia, te hononga, me te arotahi, ko tō momo piripono me te rite o ngā kare ā-roto e hanga ana i te hohonu me te tere o tō hononga. Anei ngā kōrero a te pūtaiao me te hinengaro mō te taka ki te aroha:

Te matū io o te aroha

E tohu ana tō roro i tēnei tangata he tangata tino nui. Ka whakanui te dopamine i te hihiri me te hiahia kia kite anō i a rātou. Ka tautoko te oxytocin, ā, i ētahi wā, te vasopressin i te hononga me te whakamarie i te wā e tata ana. Ka taea e ngā taumata serotonin te huri i ngā wāhanga tōmua, ka hono atu ki te whakaaro auau. He maha ngā wā ka piki ake te cortisol i te wā kāore i te tino mārama, koia te take ka pōuri koe, ka moe mārie rānei.

Te tirohanga whanaketanga

Nā te hononga takirua i āwhina i te tangata ki te whakatipu i ngā tamariki puhoi te pakeke, me te whakarite i ngā rauemi. Mā te pūnaha "maukati" tere ka whai wāhi te tokorua ki te haumi tetahi ki tetahi. I roto i te wā, ka ngawari te hononga, ā, mā ngā pūnaha piripono ka hono tonu koe mā te mahi tahi, te manaaki, me ngā whāinga tahi.

Ngā āhuatanga hinengaro

Ko tō momo piripono ka whakatakoto i tō tere. Ka ngāwari ake te whakatuwhera me te whakatika i te hunga haumaru. Ko te hunga manukanuka ka rongo pea i ngā piki me ngā heke kaha me te wehi o te ngaronga. Ko ngā tauira karo ka whakaroa i te nekehanga ki te tata. He mea nui te whakaaro nui ki a koe anō me te wātea o ngā kare ā-roto; ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe he tika, he rite hoki, ka tere ake te horapa o te aroha. Ka taea e te hītori o te whara te mea kia tupato koe, he mea tiaki tēnei, ā, he maha ngā wā me nui ake ngā tohu pumau i mua i tō okiokinga ki te aroha.

He wā anō kei te takoto mō te hinga ki te aroha?

He wātaka kei mua mō te aroha? He pai ki te tangata te ine i ngā mea, engari he uaua te ine i ngā kare ā-roto. He maha ngā pātai a te tangata pēnei i te "kia pēhea te roa o te aroha o te tāne?" "kia pēhea te roa o te aroha o te wahine?", me te mea nei ko te ira tangata te mea e whakatakoto ana i te karaka. Inaa, e kī ana ngā rangahau me ngā tohunga he whānuitia ngā momo, ā, he maha ngā tūponotanga. Me wehewehe mā te ira tangata me ngā kare ā-roto, kia kite ai tātou i ngā mea e whakakitea ana e ngā rangahau me ngā wheako.

Kia pēhea te roa o te wā e aroha ai te tāne?

He whakapono noa iho, he tere ake te hopu a ngā wāhine i ngā kare ā-roto, engari kua hurihia e ngā rangahau te kaupapa. Ehara i te mea ka aroha noa ngā tāne, engari he maha tonu ngā wā ka tere ake te aroha. Kotahi te mea nui ako i kitea ko te toharite o ngā rā e 108, arā, tata ki te 3.5 marama, e pau ana i ngā tāne ki te kī "Aroha ana ahau ki a koe," ko ngā wāhine ia e 123 rā, tata ki te 4 marama. I roto i ngā wā o mua ako O ngā ākonga o te whare wānanga, i kōrero ngā tāne mō te whakaaro ki te whaki i ō rātou kare ā-roto i roto i ngā rā 97 noa iho, ko ngā wāhine ia i whakaaroaro mō te 149 rā. Arā, i te toharite, e rua marama i mua atu i te rite o ngā tāne.

He aha pea tēnei? E kī ana ētahi tohunga hinengaro ka rongo ngā tāne i te aroha ā, kia tere ake te whakapuaki i te aroha nā te mea kāore pea rātou i te tino tupato ki te tātari i te whanaungatanga. Tērā pea ka whakawhanaungahia ngā tāne ki te ārahi i te kī "Kei te aroha ahau ki a koe." "Kāore he ture tino tika," te kī a te tohunga hinengaro haumanu a Tākuta Lauren Kerwin, "Ka taea te aroha wawe tonu, ka roa rānei ngā wiki, ngā marama, ngā tau rānei! He rerekē te āhua o te katoa." Heoi anō, e whakaatu ana ngā rangahau he nui ngā tāne e tere ana ki te whakaoho. He YouGov me eHarmony porowhita i kitea e 39% o ngā tāne e kī ana "Aroha ana ahau ki a koe" i roto i te marama kotahi i muri i te whakaipoipo, ki te whakaritea ki te 23% o ngā wāhine. 

E tautokona ana tēnei e ngā kōrero tūturu. Reddit kaiwhakamahi i whakaae "he mea tere tonu mōku, engari i roa te wā", me te kī ko tana hoa wahine "i whakakahore ki te kī i te kupu 'aroha' tae noa ki te ono marama te roa o te whanaungatanga." Tētahi atu kaiwhakamahi ka tāpiri atu, "Kua tata ki te kotahi marama māua e whakaipoipo ana, e rua tau te roa o te kitenga tetahi i tetahi. I tino aroha ahau ki a ia, engari i whakakahore ki te kōrero tuatahi. I tawai ahau ki a ia mō tetahi mea, ka whakataka e ia te kupu L, ā, ko te mea anake i puta ake i roto i tōku roro ko, "TINO?"

He mārama, ka taea e ngā tāne te rongo me te whakapuaki i te aroha i te wā tere, ā, i ētahi wā ka ohorere ā rātou hoa. Heoi, ehara te tere o te aroha i te tohu o te aroha pumau. 

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Kia pēhea te roa o te wā e aroha ai ngā wāhine?

Mō ngā wāhine, ko te aroha he tukanga āta haere tonu. E whakaatu ana ngā rangahau kua whakahuatia i runga ake nei he roa ake te wā e kōrerohia ai aua kupu nui e toru e ngā wāhine i ngā tāne. Ehara i te mea kāore ngā wāhine e tino rongo i te aroha. Tērā pea he tohu tēnei kei te tino tupato rātou, kei te hiahia rānei kia tino mōhio he aroha tūturu. Nō reira, ahakoa ka taea e te wahine te aroha nui i roto i ngā wiki e rua, he mea noa anō hoki mēnā kei te whakaaro tonu ia ki ōna kare ā-roto i muri i ētahi marama.

He tokomaha āta noho tahi me te hunga tokoiti māia! Ahakoa te aroha e pā ana ki a rātou, ka noho puku pea ngā wāhine i ētahi wā, kia kaua e tere te hononga, kia kore ai rānei e ine i te rite o tā rātou hoa. E ai ki tētahi kaiwhakamahi Reddit, "E ono marama pea te roa ki te TINO rongo, engari i hinga ahau, nō reira i kōrero ahau i te rima marama pea." Ā, ina tae ki te kōrero nui, ka tatari ētahi kia haere tuatahi te tāne, kia mōhio rānei ki tētahi tohu. Hei tētahi i tangi te hoa tāne i runga i te Reddit: "I kī atu ahau ki taku hoa wahine i aroha ahau ki a ia i muri i ngā marama e 3… inaianei kua 6 marama, kāore anō ia kia kī mai e aroha ana ia ki ahau." Tērā pea e aroha ana ia ki a ia, engari kāore anō kia rite ki te whakapuaki. E ai ki ngā tohunga hinengaro, ko ngā whara o mua, ko ngā momo here rānei, ka taea e te tangata te puhoi ake te whakapuaki i te aroha mā te waha. 

He mea nui, ko ngā wāhine e aroha ana e whakaatu pinepine ana i te tipu haere o te kare ā-roto whakawhanaungatanga kare-a-roto i roto i te wā. Engari ehara i te uira, he mura puhoi pea e whakatupu ana i te hunga tauhou i roto i te wā. Ko ngā wāhine, me te tini o ngā tāne hoki, e kite ana i te aroha he nui atu i te pahūtanga o te ngākau nui. He mea hono ki te whakaaro haumaru, te mārama, me te tino kitea e tā rātou hoa i roto i te wā. 

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He aha te āhua o te hinga ki te aroha?

Ahakoa tere, ahakoa puhoi te pā mai o te aroha, he rerekē te ahua o te aroha i tētahi atu mea. He maha ngā wā he ranunga o te harikoa, te kaha o te manukanuka, te aroha hohonu, tae noa ki te paku o te hiahia nui. I ngā wāhanga tuatahi, tera pea ka kite koe i ētahi mea tawhito tohu o te arohaTuatahi, kei roto tonu taua tangata i tō hinengaro. Ko Lucy Brown rāua ko Helen Fisher, he tohunga hinengaro, e ako ana i te matū roro o te aroha, kitea ka taea e te hunga i te tīmatanga o te aroha te whakapau i te 85–100% o ō rātou wā ki te whakaaro ki tā rātou e aroha nei. Tērā pea ka tāruatia anōtia e koe ngā kōrero, ka moemoeā mō rātou, ka kite i a koe anō e tirotiro tonu ana i tō waea me te tumanako ka whiwhi karere kuputuhi. He mea whakararuraru harikoa tēnei ka uaua ai te aro ki ētahi atu mea.

I te taha tinana, ko te hinganga ki te aroha he maha ngā wā ka puta mai i te "pūrerehua i roto i te puku" rongonui. Ka tere te tere o tō ngākau, ka werawera pea ō ringaringa, ka wiriwiri rānei ina whakaaro koe kia kite i a rātou. E whakamārama ana te kaiwhakaora hinengaro a Lauren Kerwin, "Ko tēnei tere wawe nā te nui o te matū i roto i te tinana. I roto i te aroha hou, ka whakakiia tō roro ki ngā matū neuro-pai pērā i te dopamine, te oxytocin, me te serotonin." Ka taea e tēnei "pūngao whanaungatanga hou" te whakahihiko me te harikoa i a koe.

I te taha kare ā-roto, ka taea e te aroha te neke haere i waenga i te harikoa me te manukanuka. I tetahi taha, ka tino harikoa koe me te hihiri ina pai te haere o ngā mea. Ka taea e ia karere kuputuhi, ataata rānei mai i a rātou te whakamārama i a koe. I tetahi atu taha, he maha tonu te wehi me te ngoikore. He manukanuka kei kore rātou e rongo i te rite, kei ngaro atu rānei tēnei harikoa. Ka kiia tēnei wāhanga e ngā tohunga hinengaro ko te wāhanga "whakapūmau", ka tīmata koe ki te kite i te tangata i roto i te āhua tūturu, ngā hapa me ērā atu mea katoa, engari ka huna e koe ngā mea kino. Ka hiahia nui koe ki te whakautu, ka pānui i ia tohu iti me te tumanako, te wehi rānei. Ko ngā pikinga me ngā hekenga iti, pērā i te whakautu kua roa te wā, he kōrero noa iho, ka taea e koe te rere, te hinga rānei i te taha kare ā-roto. He ahua hurihuri, ahakoa he mea e maumaharahia ana e te nuinga o te tangata.

I waenganui i te harikoa, he tokomaha hoki e whakaahua ana i te wairua o te whakamarie hohonu me te tika. Ehara i te mea ko te aroha he pūngao wiri katoa. Tērā ētahi wā o te piripono marino ka tino hono koe. Hei tauira, he Reddit kaiwhakamahi E ai ki tētahi tangata i mōhio ia kei te aroha ia "i taku moe i roto i ōna ringa, ā, ka rongo tonu ahau i te mahana, i te mārie, me te noho ki te kāinga." Ko taua kare ā-kāinga, te noho haumaru, te hoa aroha ki te harikoa. 

I te roanga o te wā, i te hohonu haere o te aroha, ka memeha haere te manukanuka, ā, ka tīmata te hononga kia mau, kia pumau. Engari i te wā e hinga ana, me tumanako ka pā mai he ranunga o te harikoa o te ngākau, te āwangawanga o te io, te adrenaline tinana, me ngā wā o te harikoa. Ki te mea he ahua pōrearea, āe, he pērā tonu! Ā, he mea noa tēnā.

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7 Ngā Wāhanga o te Hinga ki te Aroha

Kua kitea e ngā kairangahau ko te hinganga ki te aroha ka whai i tētahi ahunga whakamua e taea te matapae – he raupapa o ngā wāhanga e haerehia ana e tō roro me tō ngākau i te ara ki te piripono hohonu. Inaa, e whakamārama ana te tohunga roro a Tākuta Lucy Brown me te tohunga tātai tangata a Tākuta Helen Fisher i ngā kōrero e 7 ngā wāhanga o te hinga ki te aroha e pāngia ana e te tini tāngata. Ka hopukina e ēnei wāhanga te haerenga kare ā-roto mai i te mura tuatahi tae noa ki te wā e pakari ai, e memeha ai rānei te aroha. Mā te mārama ki ēnei wāhanga ka taea e koe te whakamanawanui ko te mea e pā ana ki a koe, ahakoa te āhua porangi, he wāhanga katoa o te porangi noa o te aroha. Anei ngā wāhanga e whitu, e ai ki a Brown rāua ko Fisher, me te āhua o ia wāhanga:

1 Kaihiko

Koinei te wā o te rama e huri whakarere mai ai te tikanga hou ki roto i tō ao mō tētahi tangata motuhake. Tērā pea he tangata i tūtaki noa koe, he hoa roa rānei e kite ana koe i tētahi tirohanga hou. Ka kitea e koe tō aro nui ki a rātou. I roto i te hinengaro, ko tēnei aro nui ka kiia ko te hiranga. I tēnei wā, ka whakaaro pea koe, "Āe, nōnahea rātou i tino hira ai ki ahau?" Ngā mihi nui, kua tīmata koe ki te aroha.

2. Te whakaaro pokanoa

Kāore e roa, ka puta ake ngā whakaaro mō tēnei tangata, kāore i te karangatia i ngā wā katoa. Ka takaro anō koe i ā kōrua kōrero, ka moemoeā mō ngā āhuatanga o te heke mai, ka whakaaro tonu ki tā rāua e mahi nei. I te tīmatanga, ka puta mai ēnei whakaaro i ētahi wā; kāore i roa, ka tata te noho hei mea whakararuraru. Ki te kite koe kua raru koe i te rā katoa, kei te taumata tuarua koe o te aroha.

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3. Te whakatioatanga

Engari i te kite i tō hoa aroha mā roto i ngā mōhiti tae rōhi, ka tīmata koe ki te hanga i tētahi pikitia mārama ake mō te āhua o rātou. Ka mōhio koe ehara te aroha i te mea ko te whakatau i tētahi āhua "tino tika", engari ko te whakapūmau i tētahi āhua tūturu o te tangata, me ōna āhuatanga rerekē me ērā atu mea katoa. I tēnei wā, ka tīmata koe ki te kite i ō rātou ngoikoretanga me ō rātou hapa, engari tera pea ka kitea e koe he aroha, he ngāwari rānei te wareware. Ka huri rātou mai i te moemoeā ki tētahi tangata tūturu i roto i tō hinengaro, engari kei te tino aro tonu koe ki a rātou.

4. Te hiahia nui, te tumanako, me te koretake

Nā, kua mōhio koe e aroha pono ana koe ki tēnei tangata, ā, e tino hiahia ana koe ki tētahi whanaungatanga tūturu ki a rātou. He awhiowhio kare ā-roto tēnei wāhanga. Ka nui tō hiahia kia pērā anō ō rātou whakaaro, nō reira he tikanga nui kei roto i ia taunekeneke. Mā te kupu atawhai, mā te rā pai rānei ka haria koe ki te tumanako, engari mā te tohu ruarua ka taea e koe te ruku ki te ruarua. Tērā pea ka pāngia koe e ngā mamae o te manukanuka wehenga ina wehe kōrua, ā, ka kitea e kōrua te hiahia ki te wikitoria i tētahi arai hei toa i a rāua. He wā e ngākau tumanako ana, e manawa pāwera ana hoki, kei te tū te ngākau ki te taura.

5. Hypomania

Ka taea e te aroha te mea kia "porangi" koe, ā, he pono tonu tēnā i te wāhanga 5. Ka pāngia koe e te momo mania ngawari, arā, kei te kikī koe i te kaha me te harikoa. Tērā pea ka kite koe kei te iti ake tō moe, kei te wareware rānei koe ki te kai, kei te oma noa i runga i te adrenaline o te aroha. Ka puta anō hoki tēnei tere i roto i ngā tauhohenga io. Tērā pea ka whero tō mata, ka wiri, ka hē koe i ō kupu, ka pā te pao o tō ngākau ina noho tahi koe me rātou. Kei te tino hiahia koe ki te aroha. He kare ā-roto whakamiharo, engari he pānga nui ki ō io.

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6. Te hae me te hihiri kaha

I tēnei wā, kua tino kaha tō here, ā, mā te whakaaro kei te whakataetae tetahi atu mō tō hoa aroha ka tīmata tō ara tiaki. Tērā pea ka rongo koe i ngā mura o te hae koretake. Koinei hoki te wāhi e tino hihiri ai koe ki te pupuri i tō rātou aroha me te whakapau kaha. Tērā pea kei te tautuhi koe i te whanaungatanga, kei te hanga i tētahi mea nui. tohu whaiāipo, te mahi rānei i ngā mea katoa e tika ana hei whakaatu "Kei roto katoa ahau, ā, e hiahia ana ahau kia pērā anō hoki koe." Ka puta pea i te kaha o te kaha te āwangawanga, nā te mea he kaha te wehi kei whakakahoretia i konei, engari ka akiaki hoki i a koe ki te whawhai mō te whanaungatanga e tino hiahiatia ana e koe.

7. Korekore

Ā tōna wā, i muri i ngā hurihuri kare ā-roto katoa, ka tae koe ki te wā e tukua ai koe. Ki te utua tō aroha, ā, ka pai ngā mea katoa, koinei pea te wā e tino māia ai kōrua. Kei a kōrua tetahi ki tetahi. Heoi anō, ki te mea kei roto kōrua i te āwangawanga, koinei te wā e tukua ai ō ringaringa ki te taha kare ā-roto. Tērā pea ka whakaaro koe, "Ahakoa he aha te mea ka puta, ka puta. Kua mahia e au ngā mea katoa e taea e au." Ka puta te ahua o te kore āwhina i te tīmatanga o te whakamatao i te kaha o te hiahia nui. 

Ka hoki mārire mai te whakaaro pono me te arorau ki te ao. Kei te aroha tonu koe, engari kāore koe i te kaha ki te wikitoria i a rātou. Ki te pai te whanaungatanga, ka arahi tēnei whakawhiti ki te aroha pumau, e tipu haere ana. Ki te kore, tera pea ka kitea e koe he rangimārie mā te whakaae kāore i te tika kia pērā.

Kāore te katoa e pāngia e ēnei wāhanga i roto i te raupapa ma. He pōrearea te aroha, kei te mahara koe? Engari he maha o ēnei kare ā-roto ka pā mai ki a koe mēnā ka whakaaroaro koe ki ō ake wheako. Mā te mōhio ki te mea e pā ana ki a koe me te take, ka taea te whakamarie ina ara ake koe i te 3 i te ata e whakaaroaro ana ki tētahi, e pāngia ana rānei e te hae. Ko ia wāhanga he taahiraa i te ara ki te aroha pono, pumau, i ētahi wā rānei, ki te mōhio kāore i te whakaarohia kia pērā. Ahakoa pēhea, he haerenga tino uaua.

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Kia pēhea te roa o te hinga ki te aroha i te kitenga tuatahi?

Āe, te ariā tino tautohenga, tino rerekē hoki o te aroha i te kitenga tuatahi. Nō reira, ka taea e koe te aroha i te kitenga tuatahi, ā, ki te pērā, kia pēhea te roa ka aroha ai koe i te kitenga tuatahi? Ko te whakaaro o te tūtaki ki tētahi tangata tauhou, ā, ka mōhio tonu "ko rāua te tangata" he mea rongonui i roto i ngā kiriata me ngā pukapuka. Inaa, he whānuitia te pūrongo mō te aroha i te kitenga tuatahi, ā, he nui hoki ngā tautohetohe mōna.

Tuatahi, e whakapono ana te tangata ki te aroha i te kitenga tuatahi. Rapu 2017, 72% o ngā tāne me te 61% o ngā wāhine i kī mai i whakapono rātou ki te aroha i te kitenga tuatahi. Ā, tata ki te kotahi hautoru o ngā Amerikana e kī ana kua pā ki a rātou anō. Nō reira, ki te pātai koe, ka rongo koe i te maha o ngā kōrero mō te tūtaki. "I kite ahau i a ia i tērā taha o te rūma, ā, i mōhio noa ahau." "I te wā tonu i rūrū ai māua, kua ngaro atu ahau."

I te whakautu i te pātai mō te roa o te wā i aroha ai koe, i kī tētahi kaiwhakamahi Reddit i aroha tonu rātou ki tā rātou hoa, i roto i te "2 hēkona" o te tūtakitanga, i mōhio rātou. Engari he aroha tūturu?

E kī ana ngā kaipūtaiao ko te mea e tupu ana i te kitenga tuatahi he tino pono ko te aroha noa, ko te kukume tinana rānei. rangahau e whakaatu ana ka tere tonu tā tātou whakatau, i ētahi wā i roto i ngā hēkona, mēnā kei te hiahia aroha tātou ki tētahi. Inaa, ka taea e te mura matū te mura tonu. Kotahi ako i kitea e tata ana ki te kotahi haurima o te hēkona ka tīmata te roro ki te tuku i ngā homoni e pā ana ki te aroha ina kite koe i tētahi tangata ātaahua. Nō reira, he pono te tere e pā ana ki a koe i taua tūtakitanga tuatahi. Tērā pea ka pekepeke tō ngākau, tērā pea ka rongo koe i te ohorere o te "Āe."

Heoi, ko ngā mea e ngaro ana i te tirohanga tuatahi ko ngā wāhanga hohonu o te aroha: te whanaungatanga o ngā kare ā-roto me te whakapau kaha. Te rangahau pūtaiao o te tau 2017 i tūtaki ngā tāngata tauhou, ā, i kōrero mai rātou ahakoa he mea noa te kukume wawe, ā, i tapaina e ētahi he "aroha i te kitenga tuatahi", kāore anō kia kōrerohia e rātou he whanaungatanga pono, he ngākau nui pumau rānei. Ko te mea nui i roto i aua hononga tere ko te ataahua tinana.

E whakamārama ana te tohunga hinengaro, a Tākuta Lauren Fogel Mersy, "Kāore te aroha aroha e puta mai i te kitenga tuatahi. Tērā pea ka puta he kukume kaha i te kitenga tuatahi, engari ko te aroha aroha ki tētahi me mōhio ko wai rātou, ko te tino āhua o ō rātou āhua." 

Nō reira, ki te pātai koe kia pēhea te roa o te aroha i te kitenga tuatahi, ko te whakautu whakahihi ko "kāore he wā" nā te mea i roto i te ariā he mea ohorere. Engari ko te whakautu mahi: kāore anō taua kare ā-roto tuatahi i te aroha kua tino hangaia. Ko te mura e arahi ai ki te aroha. He tokomaha o te hunga e whakapono ana i aroha rātou i te rā tuatahi, i muri i te whakaaroaro, ka kōrero ki a koe i te aroha pono i whakawhanakehia i a rātou e ako ana mō te tangata. I te kitenga tuatahi i homai he kare ā-roto ki a rātou, he whakapono kaha "tērā pea he mea motuhake tēnei." Ā, i ētahi wā, ka tika taua kare ā-roto i te hohonu haere o te whanaungatanga.

Ngā Tohutohu mō te Haere Whakamua ina Mōhio Koe kei te Aroha Koe ki tētahi

Nā reira kua hinga nui koe. He aha rā? Kei te mōhio ahau kei te aroha nui koe ki tētahi He mea whakahihiri, engari he mea whakamataku hoki. Tērā pea kei te pātai koe ki a koe anō: Me aha ahau ina mōhio ahau kei te aroha ahau? Me whakapuaki noa atu? Me mahi noa iho? Hangaia he tohu aroha nui? Ko te kaupapa o tēnei wāhanga ko te whakatere i aua kare ā-roto kaha i roto i te huarahi hauora, tumanako hoki. Ahakoa kei te whakapae koe he kare ā-roto ōrite, kei te tatari tonu rānei koe mō tētahi tohu, anei ētahi tohutohu hei anga whakamua ina mōhio koe kei te aroha koe ki tētahi.

1. Kaua e whakakahoretia ō kare ā-roto

Tuatahi, whakaaetia ō kare ā-roto ki a koe anō. He mea noa mēnā kei te hiahia tetahi wāhanga o koe ki te whakakore, ki te whakaiti rānei i te aroha, hei tiaki pea i a koe mai i te mamae pea, hei karo rānei i te whakakorikori i te poti. Engari ko te pono, ki a koe anō, te kaupapa pai rawa atu i konei. "Nā te mea kua kite koe i ēnei kare ā-roto, ehara i te mea me mahi koe i aua kare ā-roto, engari he mea nui kia whakaae ā-roto kei reira ngā kare ā-roto," te tohutohu a te kaiwhakaora hinengaro a Madison McCullough. 

Nō reira, tukua koe kia kī atu, "Āe, kei te aroha ahau." Kāore koe e hiahia ki te whakapuaki i tēnei ki te ao i tēnei wā, engari kaua e kī he "kāore he aha". Mā te tuhi takitahi i ō kare ā-roto, mā te whakapuaki rānei i ō kare ā-roto ki tētahi hoa tata, ka āwhina i a koe ki te tukatuka i ngā kare ā-roto. Ko te mōhio he pono, he tika hoki ō kare ā-roto, koinei te taahiraa tuatahi ki te whakatau i te mea hei mahi i muri mai. Ka āwhina hoki i a koe ki te whakatata atu ki te āhuatanga me te hinengaro mārama, kaua ki te whakakorekore.

Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te whakaatu i te aroha mā te whakamahi i te ture o te kukume

2. Rapua ngā tohu e rite ana ō rātou whakaaro

I mua i tō whakaū i tō aroha, he mea whakaaro nui kia arotakehia ngā kare ā-roto o te tangata mena ka taea e koe. Kei te āhua harikoa rātou ina noho tahi rātou me koe? Kei te whakapau kaha rātou ki a koe? I te nuinga o te wā, he ara rua te aroha, engari he rerekē te whakapuakitanga a te tangata. Kia aro ki ā rātou kupu me ā rātou mahi. Tērā pea kāore te tangata e aroha ana ki a koe e kī "Aroha ana ahau ki a koe", engari ka puta mai ngā tohu pēnei i te hiahia ki te noho tahi mō te wā roa, te whakaatu i te manaaki mō tō oranga, te whakatoi aroha, te takaro rānei. 

Ngāna kia āta tirotiro i ā rātou whanonga. He māmā noa te kite i tā tātou e hiahia ana kia kite i te wā e aroha ana tātou, nō reira i ētahi wā, he pai te hoki whakamuri. Hei tauira, ka pātai mai rātou i ngā pātai whaiaro ki a koe, ā, ka maumahara ki ngā kōrero iti mōu? Ki te pērā, he tohu pai tēnā. Engari ki te noho noa iho rātou, ā, ki te āhua pai, ahakoa he maha ngā rā kāore he whakapā atu, ko te ka taea e ngā kare ā-roto te taha kotahiKa taea hoki e ngā hoa te tuku tirohanga i tēnei wā. Mā te hoa e mea ana, "Āe, kei te tino hiahia ia ki a koe!", ina tino hiahia koe ki te whakawhirinaki ki a ia, ka taea e ia te tuku i te whakamarie katoa e hiahiatia ana e koe. 

Te pānui e pā ana: 25 Ngā Huarahi Hei Whakaatu I To Aroha Ki Tetahi Me Te Whakaatu I To Aroha 

3. Kōwhiria te wā tika hei kī atu "Aroha ana ahau ki a koe"

Ehara i te mea pai te kī pōturi i te "Aroha ana ahau ki a koe!" i waenganui i te matakitaki i te Netflix, i te whakautu rānei ki te "He miraka kei roto i te pouaka whakamātao?". He mea nui te wā me te horopaki ina whaki ana i tō aroha. Kāore he tuhinga tino tika hei mōhio me pēhea te roa o te wā e mōhio ai koe e aroha ana koe ki tētahi hei kī atu, engari he aratohu kei reira. Me whai wā ki te noho marino, ki te noho mārama, ki te kore e whakararuraru, e ahotea rānei. He kōrero mārie i muri i tētahi rā pai, he awhi i runga i te tūru i te ata Rātapu, he wā tūmataiti rānei e kite ana koe he hononga ētahi o ngā wā pai hei whakaaroaro. 

E mea ana te tohunga hinengaro a Tākuta David Helfand, "Te kī "Aroha ana ahau ki a koe" "He mea mōrearea te kare ā-roto, ā, ka meinga tātou kia ngoikore, nō reira he mea maori te whai i ētahi manawa pāwera." Kia maumahara koe he mea ataahua te whakapuaki i te aroha, ahakoa te hua o te wā tonu. Kei te tuku mihi nui koe. Me mahi koe i tēnei nā te mea e hiahia ana koe ki te whakapuaki i tō pono, kaua nā te mea e tumanako ana koe ki tētahi whakautu motuhake i taua wā tonu. 

4. Kia rite mō ngā whakautu katoa

Ina whakakitea e koe tō ngākau, ko te moemoeā ko te rongonga i te kupu "Kei te aroha hoki ahau ki a koe" ka hoki mai anō. Engari ehara te ao i te kiriata pakiwaitara, ā, tera pea kāore anō tō hoa kia rite ki te kōrero i tēnei mea, kāore rānei i te tino rite, ka whakautu mai rānei i tētahi ara ohorere. Whakaritea koe mō ngā putanga katoa, pai, kino rānei, me te mārama. Ki te mārama mai rāua, ka whakahoki mai, he rawe! Ka rite kōrua ki te kapua iwa. 

Ki te mea he wā okioki, ki te mea rānei me roa ake te wā, kaua e mataku. Tērā pea he aroha pono tō rātou ki a koe, engari kia āta haere te whakamahi i te kupu "L". Ehara i te mea ngāwari te whakatau atu. te kī "Aroha ana ahau ki a koe" me te kore e whakarongo maiI taua wā tonu, kia marino, kia atawhai hoki. Tērā pea ka hoki whakamuri te riri, te pēhi rānei i a rātou. Engari, ka taea e koe te whakautu me te mea pēnei, "Kāore he aha, i hiahia noa ahau ki te whakapuaki i ōku kare ā-roto. Kāore au e tumanako kia kōrero koe i tētahi mea kāore anō koe kia rite." E whakaatu ana tēnei i te pakeketanga me te whakaute ki ō rātou kare ā-roto.

5. Whakatipuhia te aroha, ā, hangaia he whanaungatanga taurite

Ki te mōhio kōrua kei te aroha kōrua, ngā mihi nui, koinei tētahi o ngā kare ā-roto tino ataahua o te ao! Ka tīmata te mahi tūturu: te poipoi i tō kōrua whanaungatanga kia hohonu ake ai te aroha. He mea whakamiharo te noho aroha, engari me whakapau kaha te noho aroha me te hanga hononga hauora. Kia mahara ki te whakapau i te wā kounga ki te taha, ki te whakawhitiwhiti wheako me te ako pono mō ngā ao o roto o tētahi ki tētahi. 

E ai ki ngā tohunga whanaungatanga, ko te hanga i tētahi hoahoa kaha i raro i te aroha te mea nui ki te aroha pumau. Nō reira, kia mau tonu aua kōrero roa, ngā haerenga whakakatakata, me ngā wā ngākau pono. Whakamātauria ngā mea hou hei tokorua, ahakoa he haereere, he tunu kai hou, he haere tahi rānei i tētahi akomanga. Mā ngā wheako hou ka ora tonu te mura, ka āwhina i a kōrua kia hono atu i roto i ngā maharatanga. 

Kaua e wareware te hiranga o te whakawhitiwhiti koreroKia tuwhera tonu ō kare ā-roto, kia whakarongo hoki ki ō rātou kare ā-roto. Mā te aroha tātou e whakaaro ai kei te mārama tātou tetahi ki tetahi, engari me kōrero anō hoki ngā hoa wairua, ā, me whiriwhiri i ētahi wā i ngā rerekētanga. Mā te whakapakari i ngā pūkenga kōrero, ka ngāwari ake te whakatere i ngā pakanga, i ngā māramatanga kore rānei. 

Kia maumahara hoki ki te pupuri i te taurite o tōu ao. He ngāwari te ngaro harikoa i roto i tētahi aroha hou, ā, ka warewarehia ngā hoa, ngā mahi whakangahau, ngā wā mokemoke rānei. Engari mā te pupuri i tōu ake ao kia whai rawa ka pai ake tō hoa, ā, ka ārai i te whanaungatanga kia kaua e whakawhirinaki tahi, kia whakararu rānei.

FAQs

Thoughts Final

Hei whakamutunga, tangohia he wā poto hei pārekareka ki te kare ā-roto. He mea motuhake te aroha, inā koa i ngā rā tōmua e mārama ana ngā mea katoa. Ki te whakapono koe ki te ao tūroa, ki ngā hoa wairua rānei, tera pea e rite ana ki te mea kua whakaritea. Ā, ki te mea he tangata mahi koe, tera pea e rite ana ki tētahi hononga whakamiharo kāore koe i tino mōhio ka kitea e koe. Ahakoa pēhea, atawhaihia. 

He mea whakahihiri, he mea wero hoki te anga whakamua i roto i te aroha, engari kei a koe tēnei. Ahakoa e rua wiki, e rua tau rānei i pau i a koe ki te aroha, ka neke haere ia kōrero aroha i tōna ake tere. Mena ka whakatata atu koe me te pono, te maia, me te manaaki, kei te tika tāu mahi i runga i tō ngākau. Kia pai tō haerenga, me te kore e manukanuka nui ki ngā pātai pēnei i te roa o te wā e aroha ai koe, te roa rānei e mōhio ai koe e aroha ana koe ki tētahi. 

Ka taea e koe te aroha ki tētahi i runga ipurangi me te kore e tūtaki ki a ia?

He aha te Aroha i roto i te Hononga? 15 Ngā Whakamārama

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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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