8 Ngā Huarahi Hei Angitu i te Aroha Kotahi-Tau

'E aroha ana ahau ki a ia, ā, e kino ana ahau ki tēnā, e kino ana hoki ahau ki ahau anō mō ​​te aroha ki a ia!' i tuhituhi mai ia ki a mātou.

He mea whakamamae, he mea whakapoauau te noho i roto i tētahi pūrākau aroha taha-kotahi, ā, ka arahi tonu ki te ruarua i a koe anō. Kāore koe i te pai rawa atu? He hē kei a koe? He tangata hinga koe? Ka whaiwhai ēnei pātai, ka tāpiri atu ki te mamae o te whakakorenga e te tangata i hoatu nei e koe tō ngākau ki a ia. Ko te whakakorenga ehara i te mea kāore ia e pai ki a koe, engari kāore ia e pai ki a koe i te ara e hiahia ana koe ki a ia.

Tērā pea he rite tēnei ki te whakakorenga katoa i a koe, ā, ka tino mamae rawa atu. Ki te mau koe i roto i te pōuri o te aroha taha kotahi, te aroha kore utu rānei, ka puta he raruraru nui mō ngā tau e haere ake nei. Ka taea e te aroha kore utu te waiho i te tangata ki roto i te pouri nā te mea e aroha ana koe ki tētahi kāore e rite ana ō kare ā-roto.

Ki te mea kei roto koe i tēnei āhuatanga, ka āwhina mātou i a koe ki te wikitoria i tō hoa aroha, me te huri i tōna aroha mai i te aroha taha kotahi ki tētahi mea e whai hua ake ana. E waru ngā tohutohu hei angitu i te aroha taha kotahi i raro nei.

He aha te Aroha Kotahi-Taha?

Ko te aroha taha-kotahi he kare ā-roto o te hiahia ki tētahi e whakautu kore ana. Arā, ko te aroha taha-kotahi ka taea te kī he hiahia nui, he kukume ki tētahi kāore e whakahoki mai i ō kare ā-roto. Ko te tangata e pāngia ana e te aroha taha-kotahi, kei roto i tōna ngākau te tumanako ka aroha mai tētahi ki a ia i tētahi rā. Ā, ko te tumanako, i ētahi wā, ko te mea tino nanakia rawa atu.

Nā te mea he maha ngā take mō te aroha taha kotahi, tera pea kua tūtaki koe ki tēnei i roto i tō ao. Tērā pea kei tētahi tāone kē te tangata i arohaina e koe, he pakeke rawa rānei, he taitamariki rawa rānei mōu, nō reira kāore ia e aro. Tērā pea kei a ia ngā kare ā-roto mō tētahi atu, kāore rānei i mutu tana aroha ki tā rātou hoa o mua. Tērā pea kāore anō ia kia rite mō tētahi whanaungatanga. Kāore rānei koe i te mōhio noa ki tēnei mea. kua whakarōpūtia ki te rohe hoa…ka mārama koe ki te kaupapa.

Tērā pea te āhua o te aroha kore utu he rite ki te mutunga o te ao, he mutunga rānei o te ao harikoa, nā te mea e whakaaro ana koe kāore rawa e taea e koe te tango i te tangata i roto i tō ngākau me tō wairua. I tuhituhi tētahi tangata kua neke atu me te āwhina a ō mātou tohunga, "Nā te mea kua pahemo te wā, ā, kua rite ahau mō tētahi tangata hou, me whakapuaki e au taku mahi rerekē: i aroha i tētahi wā i rite ai māua mō taua mea, ā, i aroha katoa ki tētahi atu tangata."

Ahakoa kāore e taea e koe te whakahaere i te tangata ka hinga koe i tētahi wā, tera tonu ētahi mahi ātaahua ka taea e koe te mahi hei āwhina i a koe ki te whakatau pai ake. Ina pāngia koe e te aroha taha kotahi, arā, ina pāngia koe e te momo whakakorenga, me te mea he tikanga ako.

Ka pā kino te aroha taha kotahi ki ngā marena me ngā whanaungatanga kē atu. Ina kua oati te tangata tetahi ki tetahi, engari i roto i ngā marama, i ngā tau rānei, ka kitea tetahi i roto i tēnei āhuatanga. Kua aroha te hoa rangatira ki tētahi atu, kua aroha noa rānei kua ngaro te aroha me tā rāua hoa rangatira o nāianei. He āhuatanga tēnei e noho tahi ana rāua i te tuanui me te rūma moe kotahi, engari kua tirotirohia pea e te hinengaro.

Ngā Tohu kei roto koe i te Aroha Kotahi-taha

Nō reira, kei roto koe i tētahi aroha taha tahaTērā pea kei te pērā koe, ā, kāore anō kia mōhio kua hinga koe ki tētahi kāore e rite ana ō whakaaro ki a koe. I tae mai he īmēra mai i tētahi tangata e kī ana i kī mai ana ōna hoa katoa kei te aroha ia ki tēnei kōtiro, engari i whakakahore tonu ia. Nā te mea pea, i te mutunga, i mōhio ia kāore pea te kōtiro i te rite, ā, koinei pea te tiaki i a ia anō.

Tērā pea i whakaorangia e ia ia anō i te ao mamae, ā, i whakatau ia ki te tango i ngā whakatau pai ake. I te mutunga o te rā, he uaua ki te kimi i ngā kōrero aroha taha kotahi angitu. Kia kite koe i ngā tohu, tera pea ka taea e koe te karo i aua kōrero, te tahuri rānei ki aua kōrero. Ahakoa pēhea, mā te mōhio kei roto koe i tētahi āhuatanga pēnei ka āwhina. Tirohia ngā tohu e whai ake nei o te aroha taha kotahi kia mōhio ai koe ki tō tūnga i roto i tō oranga aroha.

• Mā te aroha taha kotahi koe e ngenge ai, e kore hoki e arohaina nā te mea ka whakapau kaha koe ki te aroha, engari kāore he utu e riro mai ana i a koe, kāore rawa he mea nui. Tērā pea ka whiwhi koe i ngā kongakonga, mēnā he mea nui.
• ko koe kāore i te mea nui ki a rātouahakoa ka taea e koe te whakarērea ngā mea katoa kia tere atu ai ki a rātou i te wā e hiahiatia ana
• Kei te hanga tonu koe i ngā take hei tūtaki ki te tangata e arohaina ana e koe
• Ahakoa ka whakaaturia e rātou tō rātou kore aro, kei te whakaaro koe tera pea ka huri te whakaaro o tēnei tangata i tētahi rā
• Tērā pea kei te whai tonu koe i ngā kōtaha pāpāho pāpori o te tangata e arohaina ana e koe, me te aroturuki i ā rātou nekehanga katoa.
• Kotahi te karere mai i a rātou, ā, kei te tihi koe o te ao; ki te kore rātou e whakautu mai mō te haora ka pōuri koe; kei runga tonu koe i te hurihuri o ngā kare ā-roto.
• Kei te pātai tonu koe mōna i ngā hoa tahi
• Ko koe te tangata e tīmata ana i ngā kōrero, e whakatau rānei i tētahi rā. He kiriata rānei, he kawhe, he karere pai o te ata… ka mārama koe ki te āhua.
• Kua tino aroha koe ki a ia, ā, kua tino tika te āhua o tēnei tangata. Ki te tohu mai ō hoa i ētahi hapa, tērā pea ka kati koe i a rātou. Koinei pea te ataahua pouri o te aroha taha kotahi, ka matapo koe.
• Ko rātou tō kaupapa matua. Kāore he mea, kāore rānei he tangata e tata ana ki te tuarua. Ka whakarērea e koe ō hoa, ka rapu huarahi mena ka tono āwhina mai tetahi ki a koe mō tetahi mea. Ki te hiahia te tangata e matenuitia ana e koe ki a koe, kāore koe e wātea ki tētahi atu!

He whakamamae te aroha taha kotahi nā te mea kei te moumou tonu koe i tō wā me tō kaha ki tētahi kāore e rite ana ō kare ā-roto, ā, tērā pea kāore rawa e pērā. Engari me mahi koe i tō wāhanga kia angitu ai tō aroha taha kotahi. Kāore koe e hiahia kia mutu me te pouri i tētahi rā mō te mea i taea e koe te mahi i tētahi atu mea, engari kāore i mahia. Ki te mōhio koe he aroha tēnei, hikihia ō ringaringa ka peke atu ki roto me ō waewae e rua.

Me pēhea te angitu o te aroha taha kotahi?

He maha ngā huarahi hei whakahaere i te mamae, te mamae, me te ngākau pouri e puta mai ana i ngā whanaungatanga. Engari me pēhea te ngākau pouri e puta mai ana i ngā whanaungatanga kāore i mua? Te hiahia mō tētahi hoa i muri i te wehenga Koinei te mea e rangona pinepinetia ana e koe, ā, e mārama ana te mamae. I roto i taua āhuatanga, ko te whakatau whakamutunga, ā, e mōhio ana koe ko te neke atu anake.

Heoi, mō te aroha taha-kotahi, ka pau katoa te pō i ngā pātai mēnā me ngā pātai engari. Ko ngā pātai pēnei i te, "Me pēhea mēnā ka whakaatu ahau i te aroha taha-kotahi, ka whakaarohia e rātou?", "Me pēhea mēnā ka tīmata ia ki te pai ki ahau?", "Ka tupu rānei tēnei i tētahi rā?", ka waiho tonu koe i roto i te wāhi o te koretake.

Kāore he rite o te mana o te aroha taha kotahi. Ka taea e ia te hopu i a koe mai i ngā kokonga katoa, me te mea kāore e taea te mawhiti atu i tōna ringa. Kei te raru koe i roto i ō ake kare ā-roto, kāore pea koe e mōhio ki ngā roa e haere ana koe ki te whakamātau ki te pupuri i tēnei whanaungatanga.

Arotakehia tō aroha taha kotahi, ā, whakataua he whakatau whakaaro nui, pono hoki. Kei te hiahia koe ki te tuku atu, ki te angitu rānei? Mā taua whakatau anō e whakaoti te haurua o te mahi māu. Mena i whiriwhiria e koe te mea whakamutunga, anei ngā tohutohu e waru hei aratohu.

1. Kia mārama ehara i te mea nāu te he, engari nā te āhuatanga

Ina hinga tātou ki tētahi kāore e rite ana ō tātou whakaaro ki a tātou, ko te mea tuatahi ka mahia e tātou ko te rapu i ngā hapa o roto i a tātou anō. Kaua e mahi i tēnā, i tēnei wā tonu. Kati te whakapae i a koe anō mō ​​te kore e "pai", ā, whakaae mai ko te āhuatanga anake te hē - ehara i a koe.

Tērā pea he rerekē tā rātou e hiahia ana mai i tētahi whanaungatanga i tāu e tuku atu nei, ā, kāore e hiahiatia kia pai ake, kia kino ake rānei, engari he rerekē noa iho. Nō reira, ki te kore te whakaaro o tētahi ki a koe e rite ki ō whakaaro mō rātou, kia mārama koe ehara i te mea ko koe tonu, engari ko rātou. He aha koe i pai ai ki a rātou? Āe, e pai ana koe, e rongo ana te ngākau i ōna kare ā-roto. Whakaaetia, kati te amuamu mō taua mea.

2. Kei roto koe i te aroha, kei te hiahia noa rānei koe ki te aroha?

Kia tino mōhio koe ki ō kare ā-roto. He aroha tūturu? He maha ngā hoa aroha taha kotahi e pouri ana mō te whai i tā rātou e aroha nei, nā te mea ka mōhio rātou i muri mai he aroha noa iho tō rātou. Kei te pōhēhē koe i waenga i te ngākau nui me te aroha he mea onge, ā, ko ngā kōrero aroha taha-kotahi rongonui ka mutu he take o te aroha nui.

Kia tino mohio koe koia tonu te mea e whakaarohia ana e koe i mua i te tuku i tō wairua katoa ki reira. Mena ko te mea anake e mōhio ana koe mō tēnei tangata ko ia orotika a pai, Tērā pea kei te pirangi noa koe ki tēnei tangata. Kia mōhio atu koe ki tēnei tangata, tera pea ka kitea e koe tētahi mea iti e kore e taea e koe te wareware.

Ā, mehemea ka mau kākahu tarakona tēnei tangata i te whare? Kāore mātou i te mōhio mōu, engari ka mutu tā mātou mahi mena he tohu aroha taha kotahi kei reira tonu.

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3. Me whakamōhio tonu ki a rātou kei te whakaaro koe ki a rātou

Kia rongo ai tō hoa aroha i tō aroaro, kōrero tonu. Me mōhio rātou kei te aro atu rātou ki a koe. Mātakihia he whakaaturanga ataahua i runga i a Netflix, tukuna atu he arotake, he kōrero rānei e whakamārama ana i te take i pai ai koe ki taua whakaaturanga. Pāwhiritia he pikitia o te rā e whiti ana, o te tōnga rānei, ka tukuna atu ki a ia.

Kaua e ahua hiahia nui ki tētahi whakautu, engari kia noho tonu mā ō nekehanga iti me ō whakaaro nui. Heoi, kia maumahara, he maha ngā mea hei tūpato māu — kaua tuhinga takirua, kaua e tino whakamataku mā te tuku karere ki tēnei tangata tekau ngā wā i ia hāora.

Kāore koe e hiahia kia waea atu rātou ki ngā pirihimana mōu, nō reira ngana kia noho noa, kia whai wā hoki rātou ki te whakautu. Mā roto i ō kōrerorero, kia mōhio rātou kei roto tonu rātou i tō hinengaro, engari kaua e tino kitea mā te kī pēnei i te, "Kei te whakaaro tonu ahau ki a koe, kei te aro nui ahau ki a koe."

Ko tā te mea anake ka mahia ko te tono kia tukuna he whakahau aukati ki tēnei tangata. Kia tūpato ki tāu mahi i tēnei, mā te āhua o tāu whakaatu i te aroha taha kotahi ka huri i te āhua katoa.

4. Hoko hei hoa pai

I mua i tō whakaaro ki te tīmata i tētahi hononga ki tētahi, me noho koe hei hoa pai mō rātou. He pono tēnei mō te tangata aroha kotahi te taha pērā i a koe. Ko te mea tuatahi, me noho hei hoa pai mō tō hoa aroha, kia whiwhi ai i tō rātou whakawhirinaki. Kia mōhio pai rā anō tō hoa aroha ki a koe hei tangata, ko reira rātou ka taea ai te whakaaro mō te tūmanako ka noho tahi rāua.

Ngāna kia mōhio ki ā rātou mea e pai ana, e kore e pai, kia noho hei hoa mō rātou ina hiahia āwhina rātou ki tētahi mea, kia mārama ki ō rātou wehi. Āwhina kia pai ake rātou, engari kia maumahara, kaua e kaha rawa. Ko tētahi mea me ako e koe ko te waiho i ō tumanakohanga mō ngā mea e hiahia ana koe, me te arotahi i tō kaha ki te noho hei hoa. He maha ngā kōrero e pā ana ki a tātou, e puāwai ai ngā hoahoa pai hei aroha ataahua. Engari mō tēnā, me pupuri e koe tō papa tuhituhi kia ma.

Ina neke atu koe i te noho hoa ki te hunga aroha, tērā pea ka angitu tō kōrero aroha taha-kotahi.

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5. Kaua e aro nui, kaua hoki e whaiwhai

He mea kino ki te tuku koe i te aroha taha kotahi kia horomia koe. Nō reira, me whakatakoto e koe he rohe mārama. Me whakaatu ki te tangata e arohaina ana e koe ō kare ā-roto, engari kaua e whai i a rātou. Kia ora, kia whai hoa piri, whai i tētahi mahi whakangahau, whakapakari i ō pūkenga me te tipu. Ko te nui ake o tō arotahi ki a koe anō, me te whai huarahi rerekē hei tuku i tō kaha, ka nui ake tō marino i te taha o tēnei tangata.

Nō reira, haere atu ki te whakamātau i ngā wero me ngā mahi whakangahau hou, ā, mā roto pea i aua wero ka taea e koe te whakatutuki i aua wero i tētahi ara tino rerekē. Ki te tino hiahia koe ki ēnei wero, tera pea ka ārai koe i a rātou. Te kimi huarahi me pehea te mutu o te manukanuka ki tetahi tangata ehara i te mea e hiahia ana koe ki te tau atu, no reira kia tupato ki te nui o te wā e whakangao ana koe ki aua mea.

Ka hiahia pea koe ki te whai i a rātou, ki te uiui i ō rātou hoa tata mō rātou, ki te mōhio noa rānei ki ā rātou mahi. Kaua e pērā, nā te mea ka nui ake tō hiahia, ā, ka mataku pea tō hoa aroha i a koe. Ko te tikanga o te aroha taha kotahi ehara i te mea he tangata e tino hiahia ana ki tētahi atu.

6. Kia kitea e tō hoa aroha te mea pai rawa atu i roto i a koe

Ehara tēnei i te kī me nui rawa atu koe, me mahi hoki i ngā mea whakapaipai hei miharo ki tō hoa arohaKo tōna tikanga, me pono koe ki a koe anō, me te āwhina i tēnei tangata kia mārama ake ki a koe. Kaua e ngana ki te huna i ō ngoikoretanga, kia maia ki te noho ngoikore.

Kaua e whakaari kei te pai koe ki ngā hākinakina mōrearea mēnā ehara tēnā i te mea e pai ana ki a koe. Kaua hoki e whakapehapeha ki te moni hei ngana ki te kukume i a rātou. Me whakaatu e koe ki a rātou ngā mea e whakahīhī ana koe mōu ake, me te tumanako ka ranea. Ehara pea i te mea he tangata whai rawa, engari he mohio me te wairua. Engari kaua e rapu take hei whakapataritari i a koe anō, me whakaatu tō waewae pai ki mua. Koinei te ataahua o te aroha taha kotahi, tera pea ka akiaki i a koe kia noho hei putanga pai rawa atu o koe.

He wā pai hoki tēnei ki te haere ki te whare takaro tinana, ki te whakakorikori tinana rānei. Ka āwhina tēnei ki te tuku i te kaha, ā, mā te tinana hou ka puta he maia hou ki a koe.

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7. Kaua e riri, kaua hoki e whakaiti i a rātou

Ko te whakaute i a rātou ko te whakaae ki tā rātou whakatau kāore rātou e aro mai ki a koe. Te aroha kore Ka riri koe, ā, ka hiahia koe ki te whakaiti i a rātou, ki te whakaiti rānei i a rātou, mā roto pea i ngā karere riri, mā te kōrero whakatoi rānei i waenganui i ō rātou hoa. Heoi anō, kei te whawhai tonu koe ki a koe anō. Kei te whawhai koe ki ō kare ā-roto, ki ō kare ā-roto, tae noa ki te wāhanga i roto i a koe e kī ana ka whakaae rātou i tētahi wā, ā, ki te kore e kite i tēnā ka tupu, ka ahua whakarihariha.

I tēnei wā, kia maumahara koe e pai ana koe ki a rātou, engari kāore rātou i tono. Kia mau tonu te whakaute, tae atu ki ngā kōwhiringa ka mahia e rātou. Kaua e tukua te mana o te aroha taha kotahi kia tinihanga i a koe kia whakapono ai he pai te kōrero kino.

8. Kia noho ki reira mō te tangata e arohaina ana e koe

Kia pono koe, engari kaua e tukua kia whakahaweatia koe. Kia rite ki te hoa e hiahia ana ki te āwhina, ā, e kore e rite ki te mahi atawhai noa iho. He maha ngā huarahi hei tautoko i tētahi tangata. Kia tino noho tata koe ki te āwhina, engari kaua e whakahihi, e tono rānei.

Thoughts Final

Nā te mea kua mōhio koe ki te whakautu ki te pātai, "He pono te aroha taha kotahi?", ko te tumanako kua mārama ake koe ki te aha me mahi mēnā ka pā mai tēnei āhuatanga ki a koe. Kia maumahara kāore e taea e koe te whakahaere i te aroha taha kotahi māu anake. Me whakapau kaha anō hoki te tangata kē ki te mahi i taua mea anō. Heoi anō, me whakamana e koe ki tō hoa aroha ka pai te whanaungatanga i waenganui i a kōrua, ā, e aroha pono ana koe ki a ia.

Ko te huarahi pai ki te wikitoria i te whakahē ko te aro atu ki taua mea

He aha te take me tino tika ai te aroha i ngā wā katoa?

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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.