Me pēhea te tuku ngāwari i te ngākau aroha me te ngākau atawhai ki tētahi — 13 Tohutohu

Kua hiahia koe ki te wehe i tō hoa tāne, i tō hoa wahine rānei, ā, kua pōuri koe mō taua mea? Kei te hiahia koe ki te whakamutu i tō whanaungatanga ki tō hoa wahine, engari me whakarite kia taea tonu e kōrua te kōrero tahi i muri mai? Kei te whakaute koe i tō hoa, engari kei te whakaaro koe me whakamutu ngā mea hei hoa rangatira? He āhuatanga uaua tēnei me tino tupato. Inaa, he tokomaha ngā tāngata e pai ana ki te aro atu ki te whakakorenga, kāore pea i te mōhio me pēhea te tuku ngāwari i te ngākau pouri ki tētahi. Āe, e whakapono ana hoki mātou he uaua ake te whakakore i ngā tono a tētahi atu i te whakakorenga. 

Engari me pēhea te whakaatu i te kore e pai ki tētahi, me te kore e puta he taniwha ngākau kore? I roto i tēnei tuhinga, ka āwhina mātou i a koe me ētahi tohutohu kua whakamātauhia mō ngā mea me mahi me ngā mea kāore e tika ana hei whakaiti i te aroha o tētahi. Ā, whakawhirinaki mai ki a mātou, ka taea e koe te mahi me te ngākau māhaki. Nō reira, me tīmata tātou me te kore e kōrero teka.

5 Ngā Mea Kaua e Mahi Ina Whakakahoretia tetahi

Āe, kua pā ki a tātou katoa – te whakahē i ngā tono a tētahi, te kī atu rānei kāore tātou e aro ki ā rātou aroha-pomaEngari e hia o tātou kua āta whakahaere i ēnei āhuatanga? Ehara i te mea ngāwari te whakakore tika i tētahi. Ā, ka huri hei kōrero uaua ake ina tāpirihia e tātou ngā kare ā-roto pēnei i te riri, te wehi rānei ki roto. 

A, ki te whara koe i te tangata kē atu? A, ki te kore rātou e pai ki te whakakorenga, ā, ka whara rātou i a rātou anō? A, ki te whara rātou i a koe? Āe, kāore he pukapuka ture e taea te whakatika i ēnei take katoa, nā te mea he ahurei ngā whanaungatanga me ngā whārite katoa. Engari ko tā mātou e taea te kī atu ki a koe ko ngā mea KAUA e mahia ina whakakorea tetahi. Nā te mea, he ngāwari te whakakore i tetahi kāore koe e pai ki te whakaae, i taua wā tonu, arā, te tuku noa i tetahi kia pōuri i muri i te ārahi i a ia. Nō reira, anei ngā mea e rima KAUA rawa e mahia ina whakakorea e koe tetahi:

Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te kī atu "Kāo" ki tētahi tono – 12 ngā huarahi atawhai

1. Āta karohia, tapahia rānei ngā whakawhitiwhiti kōrero katoa

Nā, he aha ngā mea kāore e tika ana kia mahia e koe ina whakakahoretia e koe tētahi hoa tāne kua tūtaki noa koe, tētahi kotiro rānei kua tata nei te noho tahi? Kaua rawa e karo, e wehe rawa rānei i a koe ina whakaatu koe kāore koe e pai ki a ia. Ae, tera pea ka whakapataritari te tangata, ka whakapataritari rānei i a koe mā te whakatenatena tonu. Engari i te mutunga, mā te karo i ō rātou āwangawanga, mā te kati rānei i a rātou, ka whara kino rātou, ka tīmata rānei rātou ki te whai i a koe me te kaha hou. Nō reira, kaua e:

• Āraia ā rātou hongere pāpāho pāpori katoa
• Me kī atu ngā mea pēnei i te "Kāore au e hiahia ki te kōrero anō mō ​​tēnei mea"
• Wairua rātou, ngaro atu rānei, kaua e whakapā atu
• Kia tino ōkawa rawa te āhua o te āhua ohorere

2. Whakamārama rawa

Ko tētahi atu pito o te whānuitanga, ina ngana ana koe ki te whakamutu i ngā mea ki tētahi, ko te whakamārama nui rawa atu me te whakatakoto i tētahi rārangi take katoa hei whakamārama i tō kāore pea e angitu te whanaungatangaKaua. Kāore tēnei e āwhina engari ka uaua ake te mahi. Waihoki, ka hoatu noa ki te tangata kē ngā huarahi maha hei tautohetohe me te whakaatu i tā rātou whakaaro. Hei tauira, ki te kī atu koe kāore koe i te tino aroha ki a ia, ka tono pea rātou kia tatari koe, kia mātakitaki.

3. Te teka

Ko tētahi o aku hoa, ko Chris, he tangata whakahihi ki te wahine. Ā, i ngā wā katoa me mutu tana hononga ki tētahi, ka kī atu ia kua whai hoa kē ia i roto i tōna ao. Ā, ka haere tonu tēnei, tae noa ki tētahi rā pai, ka tūtaki āna hoa o mua tokorua. I kitea, kua kī atu ia ki a rāua katoa kei roto ia i tētahi hononga ki tētahi. He mea whakakatakata, tika? Koinei te mea ka tupu ina mau tātou i ngā kōrero teka. 

Nō reira, kia maumahara, kaua e teka hei tuku noa i tētahi whakamārama tuturu ina tukua noatia e koe tētahi. Kāore he aha.Kāore au i te rite mō te whakapau kaha"ranei "Kei te moe tahi māua me tētahi atu," koa. He pai ake te kī tika "Kāore au i te whakaaro ka pai ngā mea i waenganui i a tāua".

4. Tākarohia te kēmu whakapae

Tērā pea ka whakamatautauria koe ki te whakamutu i tētahi whanaungatanga mā te tuku i te whakapae katoa ki te tangata kē. Engari, ehara i te mea tika te tākaro whakapae me te whakama, me te whakapōrearea i tētahi. Kāore he tangata e whai kiko ana, ā, ko tāu ake whiringa te whakaae ki ngā hapa o tētahi. Engari, ehara i te mea ka taea e koe te whakamutu i ngā hononga mā te kī "Nāu katoa tēnei" me te "Me i tautoko noa koe i a koe." Kāore he hua engari ko:

• Ka mutu ka whakaohooho i te tangata kē
• Ka meinga rātou whakawhitia te hē ki a koe
• Ka mamae te tangata kē
• Ka mea i te tangata kē kia tautohe, kia tiaki i a ia anō

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5. Whakaroahia te tukanga

Kia maumahara, he pai ake te whakamutu i ngā mea i te wā tonu ka kitea e koe kāore e angitu ngā mea, i te tuku noa i te tangata kia hinga i muri i te ārahi i a rātou. Ko te mea kino rawa atu ka taea e koe te mahi ina whakakorea e koe tētahi ko te whakaroa i te tukanga, nā te mea kāore koe e hiahia ki te whara i te tangata i taua wā tonu, kei te tatari rānei kia pai ake ngā mea i tōna mutunga (kia whiwhi mahi rātou, kia whiwhi karahipi rānei) kia tukuna ai te poma. He maha ngā pānga o tēnei. Hei tauira:

• Tērā pea ka akiakihia te tangata kē atu ki te whai i a koe ake tonu atu
• Tērā pea kei te whakaroa koe i ētahi atu hoa mahi pea
• Tērā pea kei te whakawhanake koe i tētahi hononga hauora kore ki tētahi atu tangata, ā, ka uaua te whakakore i muri mai.

Me pēhea te tuku i te tangata kia ngawari ki te aroha me te ngākau māhaki

Whakaarohia tēnei: ​​I tino pai tō kōrua haerenga ki te kōtiro ātaahua i runga i te Tinder i te wiki kua taha ake nei, engari kua kite koe kāore ia i te rite ki tō kōrua hiahia ki te haereere i te ao, ā, kāore hoki ō kōrua whāinga oranga e ōrite. Ahakoa e hiahia ana koe ki te kī atu ki a ia kāore koe e hiahia ki te anga whakamua, kāore koe i te mōhio me pēhea te mahi i tēnā me te ngākau māhaki. 

He aha ngā mea ka pā ki a koe mēnā ka whakakahoretia e koe tētahi kōtiro i muri i te rā tuatahi? He aha te pānga o tētahi whakakahoretanga aroha ki tōna oranga? Ā, mēnā ka meinga ia e koe kia pōuri? Me noho tahi anō koe me ia mō ētahi atu wiki, kaua e whakaatu ki a ia ō kare ā-roto i muri tonu i te rā tuatahi? Ka taea e koe te tuku noa i tētahi kia pōuri, kia noho hoa tonu? He maha rawa ngā pātai pēnei ka pōuri pea i tō hinengaro, engari i te mutunga, e mōhio ana koe me whai koe i tō ngākau. I tēnei wāhanga, ka āwhina mātou i a koe me ngā tohutohu 13 hei whakakore i tētahi me te kore e whakararuraru. Nō reira, anei:

1. Whakaritea i mua

Mena kei te whakaaro tonu koe me pēhea te tuku ngāwari i te ngākau pouri ki tētahi, ki tētahi rānei whakakorea te rā me te āta whakaaro, ko te whakautu māmā rawa ko te whakamahere i te horopaki whakakorenga katoa i mua i te wā. Ahakoa kei te whakamahere koe ki te whakakore i tētahi kōtiro i muri i te rā tuatahi, ki te whakakore rānei i tētahi hoa tāne i tūtaki koe i ētahi wiki kua pahure ake nei, kia mahara, mā te whakamahere koe e āwhina ki te karo, ki te whakangawari rānei i ngā putanga kino. Nō reira, i roto i ēnei āhuatanga, ka taea e koe:

• Whakamaherehia he tautuhinga e tika ana: Whiriwhiria he wāhi e pai ai kōrua ki te kōrero mō tēnei take
• Kia tino mohio kāore he mea hei whakararuraru: Āta karohia ngā wāhi haruru, ngā wāhi mahi rānei, ngā akomanga, ngā wharekai, ngā toa hokohoko, ngā whare kawhe rānei, kei reira ngā wāhi ka kore ai e aro nui ngā mea whakararuraru ki te take.
• Kia tino mohio kāore rātou e aro nui ana ki tētahi mea: Kia tino mohio kei a rātou he hui nui, he whakamātautau, he āhuatanga ohorere whānau rānei i taua rā.
• Kia rite mō ngā kare ā-roto kino: Whakamaherehia me pēhea e whakahaere ai koe i ō rātou kare ā-roto, ahakoa he riri, he pouri rānei 

Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te whakatau i te whakakorenga ā-ira tangata mai i tō hoa – 9 ngā tohutohu

2. Whakatawhitia koe

Ina whakatau koe ka whakakahoretia e koe tētahi, kia tino tīmata koe ki te wehe atu i a rātou. Kāore he painga o te tūtaki pinepine i ngā hāora tina, te haere atu rānei mō ētahi atu wā. I te nuinga o te wā, ka ngaro aunoa te hiahia o te tangata kē atu mēnā ka wehe atu koe i a koe.

3. Tukuna ngā tohutohu ngawari

Ka taea e koe te mahi whakakorekore i tētahi mā te kuputuhi ā, mutu ake ngā mea mō ake tonu atu. Engari ki te mea kei te whakaaro tonu koe me pēhea te tuku i te ngākau pouri ki tētahi me te kore e titiro kino? Rapua he huarahi hei whakarite i a rātou mō te whakakorenga ā muri ake nei. Kāore he take kia mārama, engari me whakamōhio atu ehara rātou i tō kaupapa matua. I tēnei wā, ka taea e koe:

• Kati te whakautu i ā rātou karere kuputuhi, i ā rātou waea rānei i ngā wā katoa
• Tukuna ngā whakaahua o koe e haere ana i ētahi atu rā ki runga i ngā pāpāho pāpori
• Kaua e tono āwhina mai i a rātou, pērā i te kawe i a koe ki te kāinga 

4. Mahia i te tūmataitinga

Ki te mea kei a koe te kōwhiringa, whiriwhiria he wāhi tūmataiti hei whakapuaki i ngā purongo. Mā tēnā ka kore koe e whakama me te tangata kē atu. Ki te kore koe e pai ki te noho ko koe anake, kimihia he wāhi tūmataiti i roto i te wharekai. Kāore tetahi e pai ki te whakakahoretia i waenganui i te mano, i waenganui rānei i te hunga e mōhiotia ana.

5. Kaua e whakauru i ngā hoa

Ae, he nui te āwhina a ngā hoa ina rapu tautoko koe hei whakatau i te wehenga, i te hiahia rānei tohutohu mō tō whanaungatangaKaua e whakapā atu ki ngā hoa, ki ngā hoa mahi, ki ngā mema whānau rānei hei whakakore i tētahi, ina koa mēnā me tuku ngāwari atu e koe te ngākau pouri ki tētahi i muri i tētahi whanaungatanga roa. He āwhina tēnei i roto i:

• Te pupuri tūmataiti
• Te karo i ngā kōrero pakiwaitara koretake
• Te ārai i te whakama

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6. Kia tino pono

Pērā tonu, ko te pono te kaupapa pai rawa atu. Nō reira, kāore he painga o te rapu whakamārama, te teka noa rānei hei karo i aua kōrero. I roto i ēnei āhuatanga, me:

• Kia tika, kia pūmau hoki
• Kōrerotia ōu whakaaro ki a rātou, me te kore he aha rūpahu heke mai te ārahi rānei i a rātou
• Kaua e kōrero noa i ngā mea katoa

7. Mea atu 'kāo' me te kore he hara

Akohia te kī 'kāo' me te kore e whakama. Koinei te taahiraa tino nui ki te whakakore i tētahi. Whakapono mai ki a mātou, ka mahi koe i tētahi mea pai ki a rātou, ka penapena hoki i tō rātou wā me tōu wā mā te mahi i tēnei.

8. Kia pono

Kei te hiahia koe ki te mōhio me pēhea te tuku i te ngākau aroha ki tētahi ina kua noho hei hoa pai kōrua? Ae, tera pea ka hiahia koe ki te mahi i tēnei. whakamutua ngā mea i runga i te pai o ngā tikanga Kia pai tō hoa aroha ki tō hoa, engari ina tae ki te wā e wehe ana koe, kia mau tonu te whakaaro nui. Kia maumahara, ki te kata noa koe, ki te kī rānei 'Kāo', tera pea ka akiaki i te tangata kia aro noa ki tō whakakorenga. Kia mau tonu te reo nui. Me rite hoki ō āhua kanohi ki tō reo.

9. Tautuhia nga rohe

Ko tētahi atu wāhanga tino nui o te whakakore i tētahi ko te whakatakoto i ngā rohe mārama mō te huarahi e hiahia ana koe ki te mahi i ngā mea i muri mai. Ahakoa kāore anō koe kia rite ki te tapahi i ngā hononga katoa, me whai wāhi atu koe ki ētahi mea. ngā rohe mō te noho hoa ki tētahi o mua. Ka penei pea te āhua o ō rohe:

• Kāore e taea e au te whakautu waea i muri i te tekau karaka i te pō
• Kāore au e pai ki te haere hararei tahi me koe i ēnei rā
• Ka taea tonu tā tāua te noho hei hoa, engari me wete pea ahau i tō hoa i runga i a Pukamata.

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10. Kōwhiria ngā kupu tika

I kī mai tētahi, "Ehara i te mea nui tāu e kōrero nei, engari ko te āhua o tāu e kōrero nei." Ā, he pono anō hoki tēnei i tēnei wā. Ina whakakahoretia e koe te tono a tētahi, te hiahia rānei ki a koe, kia tupato ki te karo i:

• Pouri
• Ngā kupu kua pania ki te huka, i te mea ka rongo pea koe i te rūpahu
• Ngā kōrero mō ō rātou āhua
• Ngā kīanga pēnei i te "Ehara koe i te mea tika mōku," hei ārai i a koe kei rangona he whakapae. Whakamahia te "Kāore tāua e tika mō tāua anō".

11. Whakarongo

Ko te tohu o te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero pai ko te kaha ki te whakarongo. Ā, ka taea e koe te hoatu i te whai wāhi ki te tangata kē ki te kōrero i tā rātou e hiahia ana mō te wā whakamutunga. Koinei te mea me arotahi koe, inā koa ka tukua e koe tetahi ki te pouri i muri i te whanaungatanga roa, i te wā kua tino piripono rātou ki ngā kare ā-roto. Engari kia mahara:

• Kaua e taka ki roto i te mahanga o te whakatoi kare ā-roto
• Āta karohia ngā tautohetohe
• Āta karohia ngā whakamārama anō

12. Whakamihi atu ki a rātou

Kia mārama tō tūnga, kia pai te mutunga. Kaua e tino kaha rawa tō whakakorenga kia hū ai te tangata ki te aroha ki a ia anō, kia totohu rānei ki roto. te pouri i muri i te wehengaNō reira, me kōrero tetahi kupu, e rua rānei, me te mihi ki a rātou mō ō rātou āhuatanga pai. Me kī atu ki a rātou he mea nui rātou ki a koe, me te tuku i te manaakitanga ki a rātou.

13. Kaua e whakanui rawa i te kēmu 'hoa'

Hei whakamutunga, ahakoa e hiahia ana koe ki te whakamutu i ngā mea ā-ture, kaua e haere tonu te hononga, ka taea e koe te whiriwhiri kia tuwhera tonu ētahi ara mō ngā whakawhitiwhiti kōrero a muri ake nei. Mā tēnei ka āwhina i a koe ki te aroturuki i tō rātou hauora hinengaro, ā, ka tuku āwhina anō hoki a muri ake nei. Ka whai hua tēnei ina koa kua roa koe e noho ana i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga nui me te tangata kē. 

Engari ka taea e koe te tuku i te ngākau aroha ki tētahi, ā, ka noho tonu hei hoa? Ae, ka taea e koe, engari kia mau ki ō rohe. He mea nui kia kaua e nui rawa te mahi 'hoa', nā te mea ka uaua ake te neke whakamua māu i roto i tō rātou ao. Nō reira, kia tino mohio kāore koe i te wātea tonu ki te tūtaki, ki te kōrero rānei, engari kaua hoki e ārai i a rātou.

Nā, kua hoatu e mātou ētahi whakaaro ki a koe mō te whakakore i tētahi tangata kāore koe e hiahia kia kōrero tonu, kia hono tonu rānei ki a ia, me titiro tātou ki ngā mea ka taea e koe te mahi ina kore koe e pai ki te whakakore i a ia i te aroaro o te kanohi. 

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Me pēhea te whakapōrearea i tētahi mō te tuhinga 

Nō reira, kua whakatau koe kāore koe e hiahia ki te haere anō ki te rā me te tangata i tūtaki koe i runga i te Tinder i te wiki kua taha ake nei, i hiahia rānei koe ki te whakamutu i ngā mea me taua tauira hou i tūtaki koe ki te mahi i ngā marama kua pahure ake nei. Engari, kāore pea e taea e koe te mahi kanohi ki te kanohi nā te maha o ngā take pēnei i ngā mea kua whakarārangihia i raro nei:

• Kāore i a koe te kaha hinengaro ki te whakatau i ō rātou kare ā-roto kanohi ki te kanohi
• Kāore koe e hiahia ki te whakapau moni ki tētahi 'rā whakamutunga'
• Kāore he wāhi tūmataiti āu hei whakakore i a rātou
• Kei te neke koe ki tētahi atu wāhi a mua tata nei, ā, kāore i a koe te wā ki te whakaoti i ngā mea ā-kanohi

I roto i ēnei āhuatanga, ko te huarahi pai ko te wehea mā te tuhinga. Nā, me pēhea te tuku mārire i te aroha o tētahi kōtiro mā te karere kuputuhi, me pēhea rānei te whakamutu i te tuku karere kino atu ki tētahi tāne kāore koe e hiahia ana? Anei ētahi karere kuputuhi kua whakamatauria, kua whakamatautauria hoki, hei āwhina i a koe ki te whakamutu i ngā mea me te ngākau māhaki, me te kore e whara i ngā kare ā-roto o tētahi atu tangata:

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• "Āe, he tino pai te rā. Engari ki taku whakaaro kāore tāua i te tino piripono. Nō reira, kia noho hoa tāua i tēnei wā."
• "Kia ora, he tangata whakamiharo koe. Engari e mataku ana ahau he tino rerekē ā tāua whāinga oranga. Nō reira, he pai ake kia kaua tāua e haere tonu."
• "He tangata pai koe, engari e māharahara ana ahau he tino rerekē rawa ō tāua āhua, kāore e tika kia neke atu i te hoa noa iho."
• "He tangata whakamere koe, ā, e hiahia ana ahau ki te mōhio atu ki a koe. Engari e wehi ana ahau me neke ahau ki tētahi tāone hou mō te mahi a mua tata nei, ā, kāore e taea e au te hoatu i te wā nui ki a koe. Nō reira, he pai ake kia mutu tātou i konei."
• "He honore nui ki ahau te whakatata atu ki tētahi tangata tino mātau. Engari whakapono mai ki ahau, ki taku whakaaro kāore pea au e eke ki ō paerewa me ō tumanakohanga i te ao. Ki taku whakaaro he pai ake te mutu i konei."

Ko te tumanako kua taea e mātou te hoatu ki a koe he aratohu whānui mō te whakakore i ngā tono kāore e hiahiatia, te whakamutu rānei i ngā mea ki tētahi tangata kāore koe e pai ana ki a ia. Ko te tumanako hoki kua mōhio koe inaianei me pēhea te whakaatu ki tētahi kāore koe e pai ki a ia me te atawhai. Kia maumahara, kāore he whakaaro arorau mō te kukume. Ā, kāore he whakapae mō te tangata mēnā ka whaia koe e rātou ahakoa te meka kāore koe e kite i tētahi heke mai me rātou. 

Engari ka tīmata te raruraru ina karohia e tātou te tū atu ki a rātou, me te whaki i te pono ki a rātou. Heoi anō, ko te pono te kaupapa pai rawa atu. Ko te whakamōhio i a rātou ki ō whakaaro mō rātou te huarahi pai rawa atu hei karo i ngā māramatanga kore me ngā aituā kino ā muri ake nei. Ā, e ai ki te kaituhi pukapuka aroha a Nicholas Sparks i roto i tana pukapuka. I Te Tirohanga Tuatahi, "Ko te kare ā-roto e pakaru ai tō ngākau, koia tonu te mea e whakaora ana i taua kare ā-roto..." Nō reira, kei te mahi pea koe i tētahi mahi pai mā te tuku i a rātou kia haere, me te whakatuwhera i a rātou ki ētahi atu hoa rangatira. Ka taea e tātou katoa te whakamutu i ngā mea mā te huna i te tangata, engari i te mutunga o te rā, kāore te iti o te atawhai i whara i tētahi. He whakaatu noa iho tēnei he tangata pai koe.

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