9 Ngā Tauira Whakamārama Hauhanga Noa o te Narcissist Ko tā mātou e tumanako nei kāore koe e rongo

Ko te whakahāwea i te tangata ki te hau (gaslighting) tētahi o ngā mea tino kino rawa atu ka pā ki te tangata. He rārangi tauira whakahāwea i te tangata ki te hau kua pā ki ahau i roto i ngā whanaungatanga o mua. Nā tēnei i mōhio ai ahau ki te kino o te mea kia pātaihia e te tangata tōna hinengaro tika, tōna tirohanga, tōna tuakiri, me tōna mana ake. Ka mahi rātou i ēnei mea katoa i a rātou e kī ana e aroha ana ki a koe. EHARA tēnā i te aroha.

He huarahi tino mānumanu, he huarahi huna hoki te whakamāoritanga hau hei whakangaro i te māramatanga o te tangata ki te ao tūturu. Mai i ngā whakaekenga whaiaro ki ngā kōhurutanga āhua ki te whakawhiti whakapae – koinei tētahi o ngā momo tukino hinengaro kino rawa atu ka taea e te tangata te pā ki tōna hoa. E ai ki te kaiako ora me te kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro Joie Bose, he tohunga ki te tohutohu i te hunga e pāngia ana e te mārenatanga tukino, te wehenga, me ngā mahi moepuku, "Mō ngā kaipahua e kī ana i te hauhautanga, ko ō rātou whakaaro anake te mea tika, ā, ko ngā whakaaro, ko ngā kare ā-roto rānei kāore e aro ki ō rātou hiahia, ki ō rātou whakaaetanga rānei, kāore i te tika, nō reira me whakatika."

Tukua ahau kia whakaahua i te hinengaro o te tangata i whakakāhia ki te hau. Whakaarohia kei roto koe i tētahi rūma kī tonu i te paoa. Kāore e taea e koe te kite i tetahi mea. He haunga te rūma, kāore e taea e koe te manawa, he wera ō kanohi, ā, kei te āhua momi koe. He tuwhera te tatau putanga. Ka taea e koe te haere ngāwari ki waho i te tatau. Engari kāore. Nā te mea ehara i te mea ko tō tirohanga anake e pōuri ana, engari ko tō roro anō hoki. 

He aha te Gaslighting i roto i te Narcissism?

Ka whakamahia e te hunga whakahihi te whakamahi i te gaslighting? Ka whakamahia e te hunga whakahihi te gaslighting i runga i te āta whakaaro? Ko te whakautu ki ngā mea e rua ko te āe. I te nuinga o te wā. Nā te mea he hononga tahi te gaslighting me te whakahihi; me kī he māhanga hono rāua. He maha ngā wā ka whakahaere, ka whakahaere hoki te hunga whakahihi. He whakaaro nui ki a rātou anō me te tino Tuhinga o mua Ko ngā āhuatanga tino kitea o te Mate Whaiaro Whakahē (NPD). Ko te whakamāoritanga hau i roto i te whakahē he huarahi mā te tangata whakahē ki te whakahaere i tētahi atu tangata. Heoi anō … e teka ana rātou.

Āe, ngā tauira whakamāoritanga o te hunga whakahihi ka taea e au te hoatu mai i tōku ake oranga. I tino aroha ahau i mua. Pērā i ngā tāngata katoa e aroha ana, i whakaaro ahau he momo aroha kotahi noa iho tēnei i te ao, pērā i ngā kiriata. Kātahi ka tīmata. I kīia mai he pai ahau i tētahi wā, ā, i tētahi wā ka huri ahau i tētahi atu. I kīia mai ki ahau ka rerekē tōku wairua, tōku āhua, tōku whanonga, me ōku kare ā-roto i tētahi wā ki tētahi wā. I te ahua nei he tino āwangawanga ia mō tōku oranga. 

Ka ohorere koe i te āhua o tana ngana ki te pātai i ahau mō tōku hinengaro tika. He tangata rerekē ia i a ia e noho tahi ana me ētahi atu, ā, he tino rerekē i a māua ko māua anake. I angitu ia ki te pātai i ahau mō tōku hinengaro tika, me te pōhēhē; i tukua ahau ki taku whakahē i a au anō, ā, i whakamātauria mō te Mate Pūrua. I puta he hua kino mō te BPD i te whakamātautau, ā, i pai hoki tōku hauora hinengaro whānui. Heoi, i whiriwhiria e au kia noho tonu i roto i te whanaungatanga hei makimaki rere a taku hoa whakahihi. E tino pouri ana ahau mō tēnā. 

Te pānui e pā ana: 8 Ngā Tohu o te Huna o te Narcissist Hoovering me te Me Pēhea te Urupare

Me pēhea te tautuhi i tētahi tangata whakahihi e whakamahi ana i te hauhautanga?

Ko te wāhanga tino pouri o te whakatau i te whakahāwea i te tangata ki te hau, ko te ngaro i a koe te kite i ngā pānga kino mō te wā roa e pā ana ki tō hauora hinengaro, ā, ka pohehe koe i tā rātou whanonga he hapa noa iho. Heoi anō, kua kīia atu ki a koe me aroha koe ki te tangata me ōna ngoikoretanga katoa, tika? I ngā tau i muri mai, ina tae koe ki tētahi wāhi pai ake i te ao, ā, ka titiro whakamuri koe ki ngā wā pōuri, ka puta mai ēnei kōrero whakahāwea i a koe i roto i tō moe. Heoi anō, he momo tukino kare ā-roto te whakahāwea i te hau.

Nā te mea kua tae mai mātou ki konei, kāore e taea e mātou te tuku i a koe kia pāngia e te mamae, kia huna rānei ō kanohi ki ngā tohu kitea o te tukino kare ā-roto e pāngia ana e koe. Nō reira, anei ētahi āhuatanga noa o te tangata whakahihi hei āwhina i a koe ki te tautuhi i ngā raruraru e pā ana ki tō whanaungatanga:

• Ko tētahi o ngā tohu tōmua ko te wā e whakaiti ana i a koe
• He maha ngā wā ka meinga koe kia kore e tino māia ki ō ake kare ā-roto me ō whakatau
• E whakaatu ana rātou i te āhua e mea ana rātou ko rātou tō kaiwhakaora? Me te mea nei ka ngaro koe i roto i te moana o ngā whakatau kino me te kore aroha ki te kore rātou e whakaora i a koe?
• Ahakoa nā rātou te he, ka whakatenatena rātou i a koe nōu, ā, ka mutu ka whakapāha tonu koe i ngā wā katoa.
• Kāore rātou e whai whakaaro ki ō hiahia kare ā-roto, ā, he ngāwari noa iho tā rātou kōrero i ngā mea mamae
• Ka karohia e rātou ngā kōrero whai tikanga me ngā mahi tūturu ki te whakatau i ngā pakanga
• Hei rautaki tinihanga, ka whakamahia e rātou ō kupu ake hei whakahē i a koe, ā, ka mutu ka whakakahoretia ngā mea e tika ana kia whakapāha rātou.
• He tohu anō hoki te whakataurite tonu, te whakahē, me te whakawhiti whakapae
• Ka takaro rātou i te kāri patunga harakore i roto i ngā āhuatanga katoa e ngana ana ki te whakamārama i ā rātou mahi hei whakaaturanga aroha.

Te pānui e pā ana: 5 Ngā Tohu o te Tūkino Hinengaro me Tūpato Koe, e Whakatūpato ana te Kaiwhakaora

9 Ngā Tauira Whakamārama Hauhanga Noa o te Narcissist

I pātai atu ahau ki a Joie he aha te take e noho tonu ai te tangata i roto i ngā whanaungatanga whara hinengaro me te tukino. I mea ia, "Kāore te tangata e mōhio ana ki ēnei momo whakarōpūtanga me ngā wehewehenga me ngā kupu katoa. I te nuinga o te wā, kāore te hoa rangatira e mōhio kei te mahi rātou i ngā rautaki whakahaere kare ā-roto o te whakahihi tae noa ki te mutunga rawa. Kāore rātou e mōhio ki ngā tohu o tētahi whanaungatanga hauora kore. Nō reira, ehara i te mea i whiriwhiria e rātou te noho tahi me tētahi tangata whakahihi, engari i whiriwhiria noa e rātou te noho tonu i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga." 

I te nuinga o ngā wā o te whakahāwea i te hinengaro, he tangata whakahihi te tangata tukino. He tino paitini tēnei momo tukino hinengaro kino mā te whakahaere i te hinengaro o tētahi atu. He maha ngā mea e kōrerohia ana e te hunga whakahihi i te wā e whakahāwea ana i te hinengaro i roto i tētahi tautohe. Ki te rongo koe i tētahi o aua mea, oma atu i taua tangata kia tawhiti rawa atu. Kei raro nei ētahi o ngā tauira whakahāwea noa o te tangata whakahihi me mōhio koe. Ko ētahi he whakahāwea ngaro, ko ētahi he tino āta whakaarohia.

1. "Tērā pea kei te whakaaro noa koe i ngā mea i roto i tōu mahunga, engari ehara i te mea i tupu"

Me kī, kei te whakaipoipo a Sam rāua ko Emma. Kua whakamahere rāua kia tūtaki mō te tina. I te taenga atu o Sam ki te wharekai, ka kite ia kua karangahia hoki e Emma ōna hoa. Ā, i te wā katoa, kāore a Emma i kōrero ki a Sam i a ia e kōrero ana ki tana tira kōtiro. I muri mai, ka mea ia, "I mahara ahau he whakaipoipo. He aha koe i karanga mai ai ki ahau ki reira mēnā i hiahia koe ki te noho tahi me ō hoa?"

Ka whakahoki mārire ia, "Kaua e wairangi. I karanga ahau i a koe nā te mea i hiahia ahau ki te whakapau i te wā kounga ki a koe, ā, i tino pai tā tāua wā. Kati te whakaaro i ngā mea kino." Koinei te tīmatanga o tētahi whanaungatanga pēnei i te tukino. Koinei te Taumata Tuatahi o tō hoa wahine/hoa tāne e whakahihi ana i a koe. Ka meinga koe e rātou kia pātai i tō tirohanga ki te ao tūturu, kia ruarua hoki i tō ake mahara.

Tērā pea he hapa harakore tēnei, he māramatanga hē rānei, he tauira rānei o te whakamāoritanga hau kore mohio. Kāore pea koe e whakahē i ō rātou whakaaro i te wā o te honi nā te mea he nui rawa tō aroha ki te tiro i te āhuatanga me te tirohanga tika. Mena kua tupu kotahi, e rua rānei ngā wā, he mea e whakaaetia ana. Engari ki te tīmata te tupu tonu, me noho koe ki runga, me te aro ki te tauira o te whakamāoritanga hau whakahihi. Kia tino mōhio koe ki ngā mea katoa. ngā tohu whakatūpato o te mura hau i mua i te mutunga o te wa.

Me pēhea te whakautu: "Kāore au e tito kōrero ana i roto i tōku mahunga. I reira ahau i te wā katoa, ā, e kōrero ana ahau i runga i aku i kite ai, i aku i rongo ai. Kāore au e whakapae ana i a koe mō te noho tahi me ō hoa. Akene i te wā e whai ake nei, ka taea e tāua te tūtaki takitahi nā te mea he pai ki ahau te wā e aro ana tāua tetahi ki tetahi."

2. "Kāore au i kōrero i tērā"

E whakaaro ana a Sam he pai ki a Emma ngā kiriata rom-com. Kua whakaritea e ia he pō kiriata me te pōporo, te pīta, me te pia. Ā, i te tīmatanga o te kiriata, ka mea a Emma, ​​"Kāore au i te tino pai ki ngā kiriata rom-com." He ahua pōhēhē a Sam ki tēnei nā te mea e maumahara ana ia ki tētahi kōrero i puta mō ngā kiriata i reira a Emma i whakaatu i tōna aroha ki ngā kiriata rom-com. Ka whakahua ia i tētahi o ngā kīanga whakahihi rongonui i roto i ngā whanaungatanga, "Kāore au i kōrero pēnā. Tērā pea i kōrero tētahi o ō hoa o mua."

"Kāore rawa i tupu." "Kāore rawa au i kōrero i tērā." "Kei te tino mōhio koe i reira ahau i te wā i kōrero ai koe i tērā?" He whakaaturanga katoa ēnei kōrero i tētahi āhua noa te tuakiri o te kaikā hauKa tīmata te patunga ki te pātai i tōna ao tūturu. Ka tīmata koe ki te whakawhirinaki ki ngā putanga whakarerekē o te ao tūturu i hangaia e te hoa tāne, e whakahihi ana i a ia anō, ka nui ake tō whakawhirinaki ki a rātou. 

Me pēhea te whakautu: "E hine, kāore au e whakarite i tētahi pō kiriata rom-com ki te kore au e mahara mārama ki tāu i kōrero mai ai ki ahau i pai ki a koe aua kiriata. Ki taku whakaaro ka pai ake te mahi o tēnei whanaungatanga mēnā ka taea e koe te piri ki ō kōrero. Ki te kore, ka tino pōhēhē ahau."

3. Te kāri tino pai - "He tairongo rawa koe"

Koinei tētahi o ngā kīanga whakahāwea kino rawa atu i roto i ngā whanaungatanga. Kāore koe i te tino aro nui. Ko te kaitūkino te tangata kāore e aro nui, e ngākau mātao ana hoki. Kāore rātou e aro ki ō kare ā-roto me ō kare ā-roto kia whai hua rā anō ki a rātou. Ko te te whanaungatanga i waenga i te tangata ngākau aroha me te tangata whakahihi ehara i te haerenga harikoa i muri i te huraina o te mea ngaro tuatahi, ā, koinei te wā ka tīmata ai koe te hinga.  

Kāore koe i kite i te mea e haere mai ana. Ka piki ake tō whakahāwea i a koe anō, ka heke iho tō whakapono me tō whakapono ki a koe anō. Ka memeha haere tonu ō kare ā-roto. Ā, kua tīmata koe ki te whakapono ki ngā mea katoa. Kua tutuki te whāinga whakamutunga a tō hoa whakapehapeha. Kāore i te tawhiti aua rā ka kite koe i a koe anō e whakapāha ana mō te tū atu ki ā rātou kōrero whakahē e whakama ai koe.

Me pēhea te whakautu: "Ka taea e tāua te kōrero mō tēnei mea, kia noho tahi tāua ki te huarahi waenga, kia kore ai koe e mataku i aku kare ā-roto, kia noho haumaru tonu ai ahau i te taha o koe?"

4. "Ko koe te raruraru i konei. Ehara i ahau"

Ko te whakawhiti whakapae tētahi o ngā tauira tino rongonui o te whakahihi me te momo whakahihi kino. He rerekētanga i waenga i te tangata noa e teka ana me te tangata whakahihi. Ko te tikanga he tangata noa e teka ana hei puta i tētahi āhuatanga uaua. Engari ina whakahihi te tangata whakahihi i a koe ki ngā kōrero teka, ka whakapohehetia e rātou ngā mea kia whakaititia ai koe, kia whakama ai hoki.

Ka meinga koe e rātou kia whakaaro ko koe te tangata teka. Me te mea nei ko te patunga te he. Ehara i te mea ko te kore noa iho rātou e mōhio me pehea te mutu o te teka i roto i te whanaungatanga engari he pūkenga anō hoki ki te huri i te tūāpapa me te whakaatu i te patunga hei tangata kino, kaua ki te tango i te kawenga mō ā rātou ake mahi. "I ētahi wā, kāore te iwi i te mōhio pai ake, ā, e whakaaro ana ko te whakaae te mea tika hei mahi, kaua e wehe," te kī a Joie.

Koia pea te take i noho roa ai ahau me tētahi hoa tāne whakahihi, whakahihi hoki. Mehemea kāore au i mōhio ki āna mahi moepuku, kua roa ake pea taku noho. Ina mau te tangata whakahihi e teka ana, ka whakaaturia e rātou he hapa nā tētahi atu. E hiahia ana rātou kia whakawakia tētahi atu mō āna kōrero teka.

Me pēhea te whakautu: "Kua rite ahau ki te tango i te kawenga mō aku mahi, ā, e hiahia ana ahau kia pērā anō hoki koe. Me i noho koe i tōku tūranga, ka taea e koe te kōrero mai he aha tāu e mea ai?"

Te pānui e pā ana: 13 Ngā Tohu Tino-Pūmau e Whakaari Ana Ia e Aroha Ana Ki a Koe

5. "Akohia te tango i te katakata"

Ko tētahi atu āhuatanga o te whakahāwea tonu i a koe ko te whakapae i a koe he iti noa iho, he kore rānei he wairua whakakatakata. Ka tukuna atu e tō hoa he meme ki a koe, ka kata ia mō tō utu, ā, ina whakautu koe me te kī he mea whakapataritari i a koe, i whakapōuri rānei i a koe, ka whakahoki mai ia me te kī "Akohia te tango i te katakata." Koinei tētahi o ngā tauira whakahāwea o ngā karere kuputuhi whakahihi ka taunga koe ki te whiwhi mēnā kei roto koe i tētahi whanaungatanga me tētahi kaitukino. Ehara i te katakata mēnā ko te kaupapa he whara i a koe, he whakapataritari rānei i a koe. 

Ina tūtaki koe ki tō hoa tāne, ki tō hoa wahine rānei e whakahihi ana i a koe mō te whara i a koe ki tā rātou katakata kino, ka tawai rātou i a koe mō te mea he takaro kino koe. Koinei tētahi o ngā mea ngā tohu whakatūpato o tētahi whanaungatanga paitini"I takaro noa ahau i a koe." "Āe, kaua e hanga he maunga mai i te puke iti." "Kei te mataku koe." "He kata noa iho. Kaua e tino pukuriri." "Kati te whakanui ake i ngā mea i tō rātou āhua." Koinei katoa ngā kupu a te tāne, a te wahine rānei e whakahihi ana i te wairua whakahihi, hei whakaatu i a rātou he tika.

Me pēhea te whakautu: "Kāore au e pai ki ēnei momo kōrero whakakatakata, ā, e whakararuraru ana i ahau. Ki te mea he āwangawanga tōu mō ōku kare ā-roto, ko tāku tumanako kāore koe e kōrero whakakatakata pēnei ā muri ake nei. Koinā taku rohe."

6. "Kei te mahi ahau i tēnei nā te mea e aroha ana ahau ki a koe"

He rautaki tukino pāpori me te whakapehapeha noa te whakamomori aroha, engari ko tētahi o ngā tauira whakamomori whakapehapeha e warewarehia ana. Ka whakamahia tonutia e te tāne/wahine whakamomori whakapehapeha te aroha hei tiaki i a koe kia whakapono ki a rātou me te pupuri i te mana whakahaere ki a koe. Ā, ki te kore koe e whakaae ki a rātou, ka whakapae rātou i a koe kāore i te aroha ōrite ki a rātou.

Ka panaia e rātou tā rātou kaupapa kino, ā, ka ngana tonu ki te awe i a koe me ō whakaaro. I mua i tō hinganga ki ā rātou rautaki whakapatipati, me ako koe i ētahi tohutohu mō me pēhea te mahi tahi me te hoa rangatira whakapehapeha. "Kei te kōrero ahau i tēnei nā te mea e aroha ana ahau ki a koe, ā, e hiahia ana ahau ki te tiaki i a koe." "Ki taku whakaaro e mōhio ana ahau ki te mea pai mōu nā te mea e aroha ana ahau ki a koe." "Whakapono mai, e mōhio ana ahau ki te mea pai mōu." "Me whakawhirinaki koe ki aku mahi me aku whakaaro."

E te iwi, kaua e taka ki ngā kupu whakahihi pēnei i roto i ngā whanaungatanga. Ka ringihia e te hoa tinihanga, whakahihi ki a koe te aroha rūpahu, te āwangawanga, te aroha, me te whanaungatanga. Ka ako rātou mō ō āwangawanga, ō hiahia hohonu, me ō mea ngaro. Ka ako rātou i ngā mea katoa hei ako mōu, kātahi ka whakamahia hei tinihanga i tō hinengaro.

Me pēhea te whakautu: "E aroha ana ahau ki tāu manaaki i ahau, ā, ki taku whakaaro he mea pono tēnei nā te aroha. Engari he pakeke ahau, ā, e tino tiaki ana i ahau anō. Kia tukua te mana ki a tātou katoa ki te whiriwhiri i tā tātou e pai ai."

7. "Me mahi koe i tēnā"

Ko te whakahē tonu i a koe ka whakaroa i a koe anō, ahakoa te pai o tō mahi i tētahi mea, te kaha me ngā pūkenga rānei. Mō te tangata whakahihi, te whakamārama hau i roto i ngā whanaungatanga, ka ngana te kaitūkino ki te whakararuraru i a koe. Ka whakahengia koe mō te nui rawa o ō kare ā-roto hei wāhanga o ā rātou rautaki tinihanga huna. Ka whakahengia e rātou ō whiringa katoa mō tō oranga me tō mahi, tae atu ki ō whiringa kai, tō momo kākahu, me ētahi atu whiringa momo noho. Ka whakamahara tonu rātou i a koe ki ō hapa o mua.

Ā tōna wā, ka waikura tō whakaaro mōu ake. Ka rite ki te mea kua pakaru tō whakapono ki a koe anō. Ka whiua tonutia koe e rātou ki ngā kupu whakatoi. "Kāore he mana whakahaere mō ngā pēkana." "Kāore koe e mōhio ki te whakahaere moni." "Ehara koe i te wahine tika." "Kāore he tangata e aroha ki a koe pērā i ahau." "E kore koe e whiwhi i tētahi atu i pai ake i ahau." Whakapono mai ki ahau, e ngā kaipānui, kei te wiri ahau i a au e pato ana i tēnei. Kua rongo ahau i ngā mea katoa!

Me pēhea te whakautu: "I ētahi wā, ka tino mamae ō kupu. Kei te ngana ahau ki te mahi i ētahi āhuatanga o tōku ao. Me i taea e koe te tautoko ake, me te whakaiti i te whakahē, ka māmā ake māku." RĀNEI "E tino whakahīhī ana ahau ki te huarahi e whakahaere ai ahau i tēnei āhuatanga o tōku ao. Engari, māku e kī atu ki a koe mēnā e hiahia ana ahau ki ō tohutohu."

Te pānui e pā ana: Te whakaaro kāore e hiahiatia ana i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga - me pēhea te whakatau?

8. "He māharahara noa iho koe, he hae hoki"

Ko tētahi atu tauira noa o te whakahāwea i te tangata whakahihi ko te whakapae i te tangata i pāngia e te paranoia. Ki te ngāwari te whakamahi i tēnei kīanga, he nui te tūponotanga kei te tinihanga tō hoa tāne, tō hoa wahine rānei e whakahāwea ana i a koe. Ka whakaaturia e rātou ō rātou hapa me ō rātou āwangawanga ki a koe, kaua ki te tango i te kawenga mō ā rātou mahi. Tērā pea ka rite ki te mea kei te mahi koe i tētahi mea hē. Engari kaua e wareware, kei a rātou tēnei āwangawanga.

Ka whakamahia e te hunga whakahihi kino te whakamārama hau? Ae. Ehara i te mea ka whakamārama noa koe e rātou, engari ka whakapae anō hoki rātou i a koe mō te whakamārama hau i a rātou. Ka whakapae rātou i a koe he whakamārama hau whakahihi. "He aha koe i whakaaro ai kei te tinihanga ahau i a koe? Nā te mea kei te tinihanga koe i ahau?" "He aha koe i tino mataku ai?" "Kati te whakapae i ahau mō ngā mea e mahi puku ana koe." He tauira whakamārama hau whakahihi ēnei, he mārama, he nui hoki. He maha ngā wā ka whakaahuahia koe e te kaipahua he tangata hae, he tangata koretake hoki. Koia te take e mōhio ai koe me pēhea te urupare ki te hauhautanga ka tino hirahira.

Me pēhea te whakautu: "He nui ngā take e whakapono ai ahau kei te tinihanga koe i ahau. Nō reira, ki te kore koe e rite ki te whakapuaki i tō whakaaro, kāore e taea e au te noho tonu me te tumanako ka huri koe, ka hoki mai anō i tētahi rā. Me okioki tāua, me te hoatu wā ki a tāua anō ki te whakaaroaro anō mō ​​te āhuatanga katoa."

9. "He porangi koe. Me āwhina koe"

He porangi, he hinengaro, he hinengaro pōrangi, he wairangi, he koretake, he porangi, he pohehe, koinei ngā kupu e whiua haeretia ana i ngā wā katoa. He mea maori ki te hunga whakahihi te kimi hapa i te katoa engari ko rātou anō, me te tuku whakapae teka ki ētahi atu. Me kī kei waenganui koe i tētahi pakanga, ā, ka tukuna e koe he karere roa ki tō hoa e whakaatu ana i te āhua o tō raruraru. Ka whakahoki mai rātou, "Ehara ahau i te raruraru i konei. Ko koe." Ko ēnei tauira whakakatakata o ngā karere kuputuhi whakahihi e whakaatu ana i te āhua o tā rātou tuku i ō rātou raruraru ki a koe. 

Ahakoa te nui o tō whakapau kaha ki te tautoko i a rātou, e kore rawa koe e pai. E kore rawa koe e kiia he tika mō tō rātou aroha. Ka arahina koe e rātou ki tētahi wāhi ka ngaro i a koe te tirohanga ki te hē me te tika. Kāore he kaha i roto i a koe ki te whakahē i a rātou. Ka mimiti rātou i tō hinengaro me tō whakaaro nui. Ka uaua ki te pupuri i tō hinengaro ina he tangata whakapehapeha tō hoa, he tangata teka hoki.

Me pēhea te whakautu: "E mōhio ana ahau kua kōrero, kua mahi rānei ahau i tētahi mea e takahi ana i ngā rohe o te hinengaro pai. Heoi, he tika pea tāu. Tērā pea me āwhina ahau. Me āwhina ahau kia kitea ai me pēhea te noho tonu i roto i tēnei whanaungatanga me tētahi tangata whakahihi, me te kore e ngaro tōku reo, tōku tuakiri, me te rangimārie hinengaro i te wā kotahi."

E mea ana a Joie, "Kāore ngā kaiwhakamate hau e mōhio ki te kino e pā ana ki tētahi atu tangata. Mā te tohutohu anake ka kitea ai. He roa hoki te wā e tika ana kia whakatikatikaina. Engari, kāore he otinga tere mō te whakamate hau. Ko te pakari o ngā whakaaro, ngā whakapono, me ngā whakapono o te kaiwhakamate ka kaha ake te whakatau i a rātou."

Ko te Mate Whaiaro Whakahē (me ētahi atu mate whaiaro rite) me te āhua o te hauhautanga ka haere tahi, ka hanga he huinga kino ka pakaru te hoa aroha o te kaipahua. Mā te haere i roto i ngā wāhanga o te ruarua i a koe anō, te uaua ki te whakatau kaupapa, me te noho mokemoke me te wehi tonu, tera pea ka noho koe i runga i te tūru o te kaiwhakaora hinengaro.

Ko ā mātou whakaaro whakamutunga, me rapu koe i tētahi ara hauora hei puta atu i tēnei. He pai te kimi i tētahi pūnaha tautoko, te kōrero rānei ki tētahi hoa pono, ki tētahi mema rānei o te whānau. He maha ngā wā ka noho ko rātou anake te hunga e pai ana koe ki te whakawhirinaki ina kī tonu koe i ngā feaa. He pai anō hoki te whakapā atu ki a koe anō mā te whai wāhi atu ki ngā mahi pēnei i ō hiahia, ō pūkenga hou, me ētahi atu momo tiaki i a koe anō. Ka taea e ēnei mea te whakapai ake i tō whakapono ki a koe anō me te whakawhānui ake i tō arotahi.

Mena kua pāngia koe e te hauātanga me ētahi atu whanonga paitini, me whai whakaaro koe ki ngā kaitohutohu mohio me ngā kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro mō Te rōpū tohunga o Bonobology kei konei mātou māu. Kaua e aroha ki te wāhi ka tīmata koe ki te whakapono he pono ngā kōrero tinihanga a tō hoa. Ki te pāngia koe e te whakamāoritanga kino o te tangata whakahihi, me mataara koe, me tiaki i a koe anō, me te wehe atu i a koe i te tangata tukino i a koe. 

Mena kei roto koe i te mōrearea tonu, waea atu ki te 9-1-1.

Mō te āwhina huna, huna hoki, 24/7, tēnā waea atu ki te National Domestic Violence Hotline i te 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) i te 1-800-787-3224 rānei (TTY)

Kua whakahoutia tēnei tuhinga i te Hōngongoi 2023. 

Me pēhea te whakapouri i te tangata whakahihi - 13 ngā mea hei mahi

Te Pakanga Mana i roto i ngā Hononga - Te Huarahi Tika hei Whakatau i tēnei

Te Whakatika i tētahi Hononga Paitini – 21 Ngā Huarahi hei Whakaora Ngātahi

Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

Tirohia ta maatau Tukanga Etita

Tutaki ki ta maatau Poari Arotake

Tiri Urupare

He aha ō urupare?

×

āwhina Pūrongohia he Hapa He mea anō (kōrerohia mai he aha te horopaki)

Tuku