Ehara i te mea kino rawa te noho takakau, e ai ki a koe anō. He hoa pai ōu, ā, kei te pai haere tō oranga! Engari, kua kī tonu tō Instagram i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine harikoa, i ngā wā whakatā, i ngā pō kiriata aroha rānei i te kāinga. Ahakoa kei te pai koe ki te noho takakau, ka ngaro koe i te ngaro atu ki roto i ngā ringa o te hoa aroha i muri i tētahi rā uaua. He mea pai te whai hoa pai, engari e hiahia ana hoki koe kia ohorere tetahi ki te awhi i a koe i muri, pērā i ngā kiriata. Ā, i a koe e pēhi ana i te pātene 'mātakitaki anō' i runga i te The Notebook me te Love Actually, ka whakaaro koe me pēhea te kimi i te aroha pono i roto i te ao.
A Jim rāua ko Pam, a Monica rāua ko Chandler, a Marshal rāua ko Lily, ka roa te rārangi. Mēnā me manawanui koe ki tētahi atu tokorua whakarihariha e whawhai ana tetahi ki tetahi, ka whakaaro koe kei porangi koe. Kua whakamātau koe i te whakaipoipo ipurangi, i ngā whakaipoipo matapo, me ngā whakaritenga engari e ahua tonu ana kāore he tangata e tino tika ana. Kāore he tangata e tino mārama ana ki a koe.
Engari ko te pātai, kei te mārama koe? He mahi anō kei mua i tō haerenga ki te rapu i te aroha pono. Ā, ki te whakaaro koe kua kitea e koe tētahi e pai ana ki a koe, he aha ngā tohu o te aroha pono? I a koe e pānui tonu ana, ko te tumanako ka whakautua ō pātai katoa.
Ngā Mea Ngaro 12 ki te Kimi i te Aroha Pono i te Ao
Ripanga o Ihirangi
E mōhio ana mātou, e mōhio ana mātou. Nā te rapunga mutunga kore o te aroha kua waiho koe kia pātai tonu me pēhea te kimi i te aroha pono i roto i tō koiora. Me te mea kei te ngaro tetahi mea, me te mea kei te ngaro koe i tetahi engari kāore koe e mōhio ko wai. He ahua whakakatakata te ahua i runga i te pepa, engari e mōhio ana koe ki taua kare ā-roto e akiaki ana i a koe ki te pānui i tēnei tuhinga.
Ahakoa, mēnā i puta mai ōu karanga "Kei te hiahia ahau i te aroha pono i roto i tōku ao" i te kitenga i ō hoa e kihi ana i ā rātou hoa aroha i te Pō Tau Hou, ka kī mātou kei te mahue noa koe. Tērā pea kei roto i tō puku te koretake, ā, ka taea te whakaora i tō kore "whanaungatanga" mā te pīta whakakī.
Ahakoa ngā katakata, kua whakaohokia e te pātai me pēhea te kimi i te aroha pono ngā mahi toi maha. Ā, he take pai anō hoki. Ina pā te aroha, ka pā kino. He mea whakamiharo pea hei whakaoti i ō raruraru katoa, hei mea rānei hei whakararuraru ake. He nui te mōrearea, he nui te utu.
I te rapu i te aroha pono, me mārama koe ka puta ngā mea katoa i tōna wā ake. I a koe e ngana ana ki te whakawhanaunga me te kimi i tō hoa rangatira, he iti noa ngā mea ka taea te whakanui ake i tō tupono ki te kimi i te aroha pono. Anei ngā mea ngaro 12 hei kimi i te aroha pono i te ao:
1. Whakatikahia ngā āputaputa o tō pukupuku
Ko te taahiraa tuatahi i roto i tō haerenga ki te kimi i te aroha pono me te harikoa ka tīmata i a koe anō. Mena he kawenga nō mua kei te raru tonu koe, aro atu ki ngā raruraru ka mahi i a koe anō. Ahakoa he neke atu i te wehenga kino , he raruraru whānau, he wheako mamae rānei. Rapua he āwhina, kaua hoki e tukua tō mua kia whakahaere i tō heke mai.
Ki te mea kei te whakaaro/kei te mahi tetahi hoa aroha hou i tetahi mea e whakararuraru ana i a koe nā ngā wheako o mua, ko te "me pēhea te kimi i te aroha pono i roto i tō ao" te mea whakamutunga kei roto i tō hinengaro. Kāore koe e hiahia kia mau i roto i te porowhita manukanuka o te whakaaroaro nui i ia wā ka haere tahi he hoa hou me ō hoa, ka puta ai ō raruraru whakawhirinaki.
Ki te mea kua puta ake te whakaaro 'me pēhea taku whakanui ake i aku tupono ki te kimi i te aroha pono', me noho koe hei hoa pai i te tuatahi. Me mahi ki te whakapai ake i a koe anō mā roto i ō mahi whakangahau me/ranei mahi. Tangohia te kitā e pirau haere ana i roto i tō whare i tētahi wāhi. Ina ko koe te putanga pai rawa atu o koe, ka whiti te aura o te maia, ā, tera pea ka ahua ataahua ake, ka ātaahua ake.
Pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea koe e mōhio ai kei te aroha koe ki tētahi – 11 ngā tohu e whakaatu ana i tēnā
2. Kaua e matakitaki noa i ngā kiriata, engari kia tutuki ngā tumanakohanga e tika ana.
Kāo, e kore te aroha o tōu ao e titiro atu ki a koe i a ia e tomo ana ki tētahi whare kawhe e haereerea ana e koe. Kāo, e kore koe e tūtaki ki a ia i roto i tētahi whare pukapuka i muri i ngā rā e toru. Kāo, e kore tō hoa rangatira e miharo i a koe mai i te meneti tonu ka titiro atu koe ki a ia.
"He aha te aroha tūturu i te ao tūturu?" Hei tīmatanga, kāore rawa he wāhanga hui anō i te ua, me te puoro e purei ana i muri i a kōrua e kihi ana. I te ao tūturu, ka pāngia kōrua e te makariri i te aonga ake. Ko ngā tohu o te aroha tūturu i te ao tūturu he āhua whakamā, he kuware, he tino ngaro rānei, ā, ka ngaro pea i a koe.
Kāore i rite ki ngā kiriata, tera pea he āhua whakamā ngā taunekeneke tuatahi, kāore kōrua e mōhio he aha te mea hei kōrero, tera pea ka ahua ngoikore. Kaua e whai i tētahi 'momo' tino pakari e rapu ana koe. Ki te mea kei te ahua pai pea koe ki tētahi ahakoa ehara ia i te 'momo' tino kua whakaritea e koe, hoatu he wā ki a ia, tera pea ka miharo koe ki te hononga ka whakatūria e koe. I te rapu i te aroha pono, kaua e nui rawa ngā tumanakohanga i mua.
3. Kia mōhio koe ki a koe anō i mua i te kitenga i te aroha pono i te ao
Ki te kore koe e mōhio ki a koe anō, e kore koe e mōhio ki tāu e hiahia ana mai i tō hoa. Tērā pea kāore koe i te mōhio mēnā he tino pai ki a koe taua tōhi āwōkātō, he whakaari noa iho rānei kei te pai koe ki taua tōhi. Tērā pea ka mea koe "Kei te rapu au i te aroha pono" engari e mōhio ana koe mēnā kua rite koe mō te whanaungatanga?
Haunga te ako i tāu e hiahia ana i roto i tō hoa, i roto i te tukanga o te mōhio ki a koe anō, ka pai ake tō māramatanga ki ngā mea e pai ana ki a koe me ngā mea kāore e pai ana ki a koe. Ka māmā ake te kī ko wai te mea e pai ana ki a koe, ko wai hoki kāore. Ko ngā mea katoa e āwhina ana i a koe ki te karo i tētahi wehenga kino he mea tika kia whakapau kaha.
Ki te kore koe e mōhio ki a koe anō, kāore e taea e koe te kōrero ki tō hoa mō te tangata ko wai koe. Tērā pea ka mutu ka whakaatu koe i tētahi āhua rūpahu o koe anō, he āhua e kīia ana e koe. E ai ki te hinengaro o te aroha pono me whakaatu e koe tō āhua tūturu, ā, ka taea e koe te mahi i tēnā ina mōhio koe ki a ia.
4. Kaua e takoto noa i roto i ō PJ e tatari ana kia puta te aroha
I a koe e rapu ana i te aroha pono i te ao, tera pea kua rongo koe i tētahi e kī ana ka tae mai te aroha i te wā kāore koe e rapu ana. Mēnā koinei te āhua o te mahi, kāore koe e rapu ana i te "me pēhea te kimi i te aroha pono me te harikoa" i tēnei wā tonu.
Kaua e tatari ki tētahi kāore e wātea ana, kaua e ngana ki te 'tūtaki' ki te aroha. Ehara te aroha i te pire tāra ka kitea i te huarahi. Kia hihiri, kia pāpori, kia tūtaki ki ētahi atu tāngata hou mā roto i ngā hoa me ngā hoa mohio.
Whakamātauria taua taupānga whakaipoipo, ahakoa he tirotiro noa iho mō tētahi wā poto. Ahakoa he pātai me he wero anō kei te rapu huarahi ki te kimi i te aroha pono i runga ipurangi, kāore koe e moumou i tētahi atu pō Paraire i runga i a Netflix!
5. Ka pai te waimarie ki te hunga maia
Kua tūtaki koe ki tētahi, e whakaaro ana koe he ātaahua ia, engari kāore i tino ngana ki te kōrero ki a ia? Ina rapu ana koe i te aroha pono, kaua e tukua kia ngaro ngā whai wāhitanga pēnei. Mā wai e mōhio, kua kitea pea e koe te tangata tika , engari kāore anō kia kōrero ki a ia!
He whakaaro pouri tēnei, e mōhio ana mātou, engari ko te whakaaro nui, kāore e taea e koe te karo i tētahi whai wāhitanga hou mēnā kei te rapu koe i ngā huarahi hou. Kāore e nui te hua o te "E hiahia ana ahau ki te aroha pono i roto i tōku ao" mēnā kei te karo koe i te kōrero ki taua tama/kōtiro ataahua nā te mea kei te wehi koe kei whakakahoretia.
Me whakarērea te whakama ki te hiahia koe ki te kimi i te aroha pono i te ao. Tūtaki ki ngā tāngata hou, kaua e wehi ki te whakaatu i a koe anō. Ka taea e koe te whakaipoipo i ētahi tāngata kia kite ai ko wai tāu e pai ai, me te mea e pai ana ki a koe. Kia maumahara, tera pea he maha ngā wā ka mutu te ara ki te aroha pono!
6. Kaua e aroha ki tētahi taupānga whakaipoipo
Ina rapu ana koe i te aroha pono i runga ipurangi, he ngawari noa te tuku i ō tumanakohanga kia rere noa. Kia whiwhi koe i taua hoa rangatira e whakaoho ana i te dopamine, ka piki haere ō tumanakohanga mō te tangata kua taumautia e koe. Ka nui rawa te hanga e koe i roto i tō hinengaro he aha rātou te āhua, ā, tera pea he tino rerekē rātou i tērā i te ao tūturu.
Ka taea te kimi i te aroha pono i runga ipurangi, me pupuri noa e koe ō tumanakohanga. He tokomaha ngā tāngata kei runga i ngā papaaho whakaipoipo ipurangi, ā, i te mutunga ka kitea e koe tētahi hei hoa pai māu . Kaua e aro nui ki taua tangata kotahi i ngaro whakarere i a koe.
7. Haere ki ngā huihuinga e whakamanahia ana ngā hiahia ōrite
He rawe ngā taupānga whakaipoipo. Engari tera pea he tini rawa ngā tāngata kei reira, ā, ka uaua ake te kimi i te aroha pono i roto i tō koiora. Ina rapu koe i te aroha pono, me whai pānga rite tō hoa ki a koe, tika? Ko ngā pō Rāhoroi e pau ana ki te inu i tā kōrua waina tino pai, me te whakarongo ki ngā waiata e pai ana ki a kōrua, he rite ki te ahiahi harikoa.
Engari ko te noho noa i roto i ngā whakaaturanga e mātakihia ana e tō hoa engari kāore rawa koe e hiahia ana ki te aro atu, he pai ake mēnā he rite te reka o kōrua ki ngā whakaaturanga? Kāore koe e tatau i ngā meneti tae noa ki te mutunga o te whakaaturanga whakarihariha, kātahi ka mōhio kei reira he wāhanga tuarua. Ko ngā tohu o te aroha pono ko te patunga tapu, engari kāore koe e hiahia kia ngaro tō hinengaro i roto i te tukanga.
Nō reira, haere ki ngā wāhi ka tūtaki koe ki ngā tāngata he rite ō rātou hiahia ki a koe. Ahakoa he karapu jazz, he karapu pukapuka, he akomanga tuitui rānei, ki te mea koinā te mea e ngākau nui ana koe. Kaua e takaro noa i te wā o te akomanga tuitui.
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8. He nui atu i ngā mea e tupu ana i roto i te rūma moe te whanaungatanga
Ki te waimarie koe, tera pea ka tūtaki koe ki tētahi whanaungatanga kua pakaru mai i te tīmatanga hei moepuku tino whakamīharo. Tērā pea te ao e ahua tino pai ana. Tērā pea ka whakaaro koe kāore koe e hiahia ki te rapu tonu i te aroha pono. Engari ko ngā tohu o te aroha pono ehara i te moepuku pai anake.
Ko te whanaungatanga angitu e hangai ana ki te hototahitanga, te whakawhirinakitanga me te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero. Kāore e kore he wāhanga nui o te taatai i roto i tetahi whanaungatanga , engari ehara i te mea koinei anake. Mena ko te takaro noa iho a kōrua, he tino ngahau, engari ehara pea i te aroha pono. Me waiho hoki rāua hei tangata hei kōrero mā kōrua, hei kata tahi, hei whakawhitiwhiti kōrero kino hoki.
9. Ka kukume ngā mea rerekē, kia haere rā anō rātou i ō rātou ara rerekē.
Kei te kōrero koe ki tētahi e ahua rerekē ana i a koe? E mōhio ana koe ki tā rātou e kī nei, ka kukume mai ngā mea rerekē! Ā, tera pea ka pērā. Ahakoa he pai, he ātaahua hoki i te tīmatanga, tera pea, ki te tino rerekē kōrua, ā tōna wā ka kitea e kōrua tētahi mea nui rawa atu hei wareware.
Mā te rerekētanga taketake ka arahi pea ki te maha o ngā pakanga kino, arā, ngā pereti pakaru me te hiahia ki te hoki ki ngā wā o mua, me te whakatūpato i a koe anō mō ngā tūponotanga o te "tohe a ngā mea rerekē". He aha te aroha tūturu i te ao tūturu? He mea pea ko te kimi tahi i te harikoa i roto i ngā mea iti rawa, kia taea ai te whakapuaki i ia wā.
Kāore mātou e kī ana kāore e taea e ngā mea rerekē e rua te tūtaki , engari he iti noa te tūponotanga kia roa, kia whai hua hoki te whanaungatanga i waenganui i a rāua. E hia ngā wā ka tono koe i tētahi pīta huawhenua me tētahi pīta kore-huawhenua? He porangi.
10. Kia pono ki tō tuakiri
Kaua e huri i tō āhua kia rite ki te hoa 'kē' kāore anō koe kia rite ki te whakarere. Ki te huri koe i tō āhua mō te tangata e pai ana koe, ka whakawhanakehia e koe te hoa tino pai mō te āhua rūpahu kua hangaia e koe, ehara i te mea māu ake.
Pērā anō hoki ina e rapu ana koe i te aroha pono i runga ipurangi. Ka taea e koe te tuhi i te 6′ i raro i tō teitei i roto i ngā taupānga whakaipoipo i ngā wā katoa e hiahia ana koe, engari ka hinga rawatia te āhua o tō hoa ina kite koe i a koe.
Ko te nui o tō piripono ki a koe anō, ko te nui ake o te hunga e pai ana ki a koe ka kukume mai i a koe. Kāore e ngāwari ake te kimi i te aroha pono me te harikoa i te noho pūmau ki tō tuakiri.
11. Kia ata haere
Ki te kitea e koe tētahi e tutuki ana i ngā whakaritenga katoa, ā, kei te pai te haere o ngā mea, kia kaua e whakararuraru i te katoa mā te kī i tētahi mea kuware pēnei i te "Aroha ana ahau ki a koe". Ko te tumanako ka kōrerotia e kōrua tētahi ki tētahi i tētahi ā tōna wā, engari he roa te wā e tipu ai te aroha pono.
Kaua e kī pēnei i te "Kei te rapu au i te aroha pono" i te wā tuatahi. He maha ngā painga o te āta haere i roto i te whanaungatanga . He ngāwari te hē o te whakaaro ki te pai o te whanaungatanga i te tīmatanga. Mā te hohoro o te haere, ka mataku pea tō hoa ka hoki whakamuri, ā, ka waiho koe kia rapu anō i te "me pēhea te kimi i te aroha pono me te harikoa".
Pānui e pā ana: 21 Ngā Rerekētanga i waenganui i te Aroha me te Hiahia
12. Ka whakaaetia e ō hoa?
He mea tino nui ngā whakaaro o ō hoa mō tō hoa aroha hou. Ahakoa e titiro ana koe ki tō hoa aroha pono mā roto i ngā mōhiti tae rōhi, ā, e kore e aro ki ngā tohu kino, tera pea he tirohanga taurite ake tō ō hoa.
Mā rātou koe e āwhina ki te titiro ki ngā raruraru i warewarehia e koe i roto i tō harikoa katoa. Mā rātou koe e āwhina ki te whakatau mēnā kua kitea e koe te aroha pono. Kaua e hoatu te mana ki ō hoa ki te kī "I kī atu ahau ki a koe!" i te wā i whakatūpato ai rātou i a koe mō tētahi whanaungatanga, ā, ka pakaru ki tō aroaro.
Ko te tumanako kua taea e mātou te ārahi i a koe ki te huarahi ki te kimi i te aroha pono, ki te mea kāore anō kia kitea e koe. Ko te mea nui ko te noho hihiri me te maia. A te wā e whai ake nei ka karo koe i te whai wāhi ki te kōrero ki tētahi, kaua e tukua ō mataku kia kaha ake i a koe. Mā wai e mōhio, tera pea kei te karo noa koe i tō ake kōrero aroha whakamiharo.
30 ½ Ngā Mea Mōhiotanga mō te Aroha e kore rawa e taea te wareware
Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
