15 Ngā Tohu Whero mō te Hononga hei Tūpato mā te Tāne

Ko te nuinga o te hunga e hiahia ana ki ngā tāne ka whakaae pea ki tēnei – Kāore ianei e taea e tātou te huihui me te kōrero mō ngā tohu whero i roto i te tāne mō te haora pea, ahakoa he tauhou tātou katoa tetahi ki tetahi? Ehara tēnei i te mea he hē kei roto i ngā tāne. He take whakatipu ake tēnei. Ā, i roto i tēnei whakatipuranga, e hiahia ana ahau kia tautoko ā tātou whare mātauranga, te manawanui kore me ngā kawa kua whakatōkia ki roto i ngā whakapono, ō tātou kāinga me ngā whanaunga whakahāwea ira tangata (tae atu ki ngā wāhine e whakahīhī ana ki te tautoko i te mana tāne), ō tātou hoa me ō tātou hoa mahi, ā tātou kiriata me ngā pāpāho, kia tūohu ngātahi ki te whakarite kia kore ngā tāne e mawhiti i te tāne kino.

He mahi nui tā ia o ēnei hinonga ki te whakauru atu ki ngā tohu whero nui rawa atu o te tāne. Ka whakapuaki ngā tāne i te mana whakahaere, ā, ka whakahē i ngā mea katoa e whakaarohia ana e rātou he iti iho, he kore rānei e rite ki te tāne, ahakoa he tuakiri ira tangata, he tae rānei. Ka whakaatu rātou i tō rātou uara mā te haruru, te pai ake, te nui ake, te maia ake, te pukuriri ake, me te nui ake o te moni me te mana. I roto rānei i tētahi huarahi heteronormative kino, ka whakaatu rātou i tō rātou uara mā te whakataetae ki a rātou anō kia kite ko wai ka moe wahine ki te nuinga atu.

I kōrero mātou ki te kaiwhakaora hinengaro, ki a Tākuta Aman Bhonsle (PhD, PGDTA), he tohunga ki te tohutohu whanaungatanga me te Whakaora Whanoke Ā-roto. Ka whakapuaki mai ia i ōna whakaaro ki a mātou mō tēnei take, ā, i ngana tahi mātou ki te tūhura i ngā tohu kino o tētahi tāne.

15 Ngā Tohu Whero mō te Hononga hei Tūpato mā te Tāne

Ina kōrero tātou mō ngā tohu whero i roto i te tāne, e kōrero ana tātou mō ngā tohu whero i roto i te pūnaha katoa. Engari ko ngā tāne cis te nuinga o te wā ka kitea nuitia, ka kitea hoki te kanohi o te mana rangatira, ā, ka nui ake ngā hua ka riro i a rātou mā te pupuri i ngā pūnaha mana rangatira. Ka tāpiri atu a Tākuta Bhonsle , "Kua werohia he iroriki whakataetae ki roto i ngā tāne e te mana rangatira, e tika ana kia eke ki te taumata teitei me te taumata teitei. Kua heke iho tēnei iroriki mai i ngā wā i whawhai ai ngā tāne, i uru atu ai ki ngā mahi uaua, ā, ko ngā wāhine ngā kaiawhina me te tiaki i te whare. Kua tawhito ēnei tūranga ira tangata, ā, kāore e whai mahi tika ana i ēnei rā. Kāore e taea te noho herehere ki tētahi momo tuakiri nā te mea kua whānau mai koe me tētahi ira tangata."

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Nā, kia ngana tātou ki te wetewete i ētahi o ēnei kōrerorero i roto i tēnei tuhinga. Mena kei te hiahia koe ki ngā tāne, ā, kei te whakaaro koe, "He aha ahau e kore ai e kite i ngā tohu kino wawe i roto i te tāne?", māu tēnei tuhinga. Me kōrero tātou mō ngā tohu kino 15 o te whanaungatanga i roto i te tāne hei tūpato.

1. He mārama te kore aro ki ō rohe

Ahakoa kua whakahuatia e koe ō rohe, e whakaatu ana ia i te kore aro ki ō rohe. Me whiwhi ahau i tō nama waea? Tō wāhi noho? Me waea atu ahau ki a koe i tēnei hāora? Me pupuri e ahau tō ringa? Me haere tahi tāua ina tūtaki koe ki ō hoa? Me tuku atu e ahau taku āhua tahanga, me tuku mai rānei e koe tōu? Mēnā ka pātai tonu mai rātou ki a koe, ā, e whakaaro ana koe kei te pēhia koe ki te pakitara, ā, me whakapuaki tonu e koe ō rohe hauora , kua tae ki te wā ki te oma. Koinei ētahi o ngā tohu kino rawa atu o tētahi tāne. E whakaaro ana tētahi tāne pēnei he tika ki a ia tō wāhi, tō wā me tō tinana. Ka kino haere.

"Kua whakaakona tātou kia kaua e whakaaro ki te whakaū i a tātou anō, engari kia whakamanawareka, kia manaaki hoki i ētahi atu i ō tātou oranga katoa. He uaua ki te whakakore i tēnei āhua, engari kua nui ake taku mōhio ki tēnei i ngā tau kua taha ake nei. He āwhina ki te mōhio ki ō taumata whakamarie me te whakapuaki mārama i aua taumata," te kī a Chloe.

2. He tino āwangawanga ia ki ngā whakaaro tawhito mō te tānetanga

Ka whakakitea e rātou tō rātou whakarihariha, tō rātou koretake rānei ki te tangata kāore e whakaarohia ana he tāne, ahakoa he āhua kanohi, he tawai, he reo whakahāwea rānei. Ki te mea he nui ō rātou whakaaro mō te tāne e hangai ana ki te mana me te rangatiratanga, mā te noho hei hoa rangatira, hei hoa whakahaere rānei , ka pā kino atu ki a koe i te wā e tata mai nei. He tohu kino nui ēnei mō te tāne koretake.

E kī ana a Tākuta Bhonsle, "He aha te mea e hanga ana i te tāne? Ki te pātai koe ki ngā tāne matapōkere kia whakautu i tēnei pātai, ka ngaro i a rātou te māramatanga. Kāore rātou e mōhio me pēhea te whakamārama i te tānetanga i tua atu i ngā whakamāramatanga a ngā tāne kua whakatakotoria ki a rātou. Kāore rātou i whakaakona ki te pātai i te pūtake o ā rātou kōrero pono, nā te mea ko taua pūtake ko tō rātou hapori tata me ngā porowhita o roto o te whānau, o ngā hoa me ngā kura. He nui te whakamarie, te pumau me te papai e whiwhi ana rātou mai i aua pūtake, nō reira ka mataku rātou ki te wero i a rātou. Engari me pātai tonu tātou ki ā tātou pūnaha uara me ngā rapunga whakaaro, me te pātai ki a tātou anō i ngā wā katoa: kei te mahi tonu rātou ki a tātou?"

E kōrero ana hoki a Tākuta Bhonsle mō te āhua o tā tātou whakatauira i ngā tāne , "Ki te hiahia te tāne kia noho hei kaihoahoa ahua, ka kīia ia e te tangata kia mau i te sari hei tohu kua 'ngaro' tōna āhua tāne. Ki taku whakaaro he tāne ake te tāne e tiaki ana i tana pēpi i te pō katoa, i te tāne e whakaaro ana mā te patu i tētahi ka whakatau i te raruraru."

3. He tirohanga ao tōna e aro ana ki te whakahīhī

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu tōmua mō te tāne ko te nuinga o ana kiriata, whakaaturanga me ana pukapuka tino pai he mea tito e ngā tāne, ā, ko ngā tāne ngā kiripuaki matua. Mena kei te kī tonu tō ao pāpāho i te momo kōrero tāne kotahi e aro nui ana ki ngā tāne, e ako ana i ngā tāne me pēhea te 'tāne', he tino hē tetahi mea.

Waihoki, ko tētahi o ngā tohu nui o te tāne ko tōna aro nui ki ōna uaua, ā, he maha ana kōrero, he whakapae rānei kei te pai ake ia i ētahi atu tāne nā tōna āhua tinana anake. "Kāore ia i kōrero mō tētahi mea whai tikanga, ā, kāore i mutu tana mātakitaki i ngā ataata whakapakari tinana, te kōrero mō tana kai, me pēhea rānei e taea ai e ia te patu i tētahi atu tāne. Ko te tāne kino me te whakahāwea ira tangata noa ki te taumata e whai ake nei. He ahua whakamataku, ā, he tino whakarihariha," te kōrero a Amelia.

Kāore hoki ngā tāne takatāpui e āraihia ana e te whakahāwea ira tangata. I roto i tana pukapuka The Will to Change , i kī a Bell Hooks, "Ko te nuinga o ngā tāne takatāpui he rite tonu te whakahāwea ira tangata ki ngā tāne takatāpui. Nā ō rātou whakaaro tāne rangatira rātou e ārahi ki te hanga tauira mō ngā whanonga moepuku e hiahiatia ana e rite ana ki ngā tāne rangatira takatāpui."

4. Ngā tohu whero i roto i te tāne: Kāore ia e aro ki te moepuku

Kāore ia e hiahia ki te kōrero mō tō whakamarie moepuku, ō rohe, ō whara, ō hiahia, ō ahuareka motuhake, ō koretake me ō pai ki a koe, ngā ārai whānau, me ērā atu mea. Kāore rawa. Ki tā ētahi tāne he mōhio ake rātou ki a koe i a koe anō. Ko te hunga e hiahia ana ki ngā tāne, inā koa he taitamariki koe, whakarongo mai. Ki te kore rātou e whakaute i ngā mea "kāore e taea" e koe te mahi mō te whanaungatanga piripono, ā, ki te kore rātou e aro ki tō whakamarie moepuku me tō hauora moepuku i tētahi wā i roto i te tukanga, koinei tētahi o ngā tohu whero nui rawa atu mō te tāne i te wā e whakaipoipo ana. E whakaaetia ana koe ki te kī kāo, ā, e tika ana kia rangona, kia whakaaetia hoki taua "kāo" i ngā wā katoa o te whanaungatanga piripono.

Ehara i te mea ko te whakaurunga anake, ko te hanga ake rānei, engari ko te pā atu ka taea te whiti i tō rohe moepuku mēnā kāore koe i whakaae i mua. "I whakaaro ahau mēnā kua whakaae ahau ki te moepuku, ā, kei waenganui māua, kāore e taea e au te hoki whakamuri i taku kupu nā te mea ka pouri ia. E koa ana ahau kua nui ake taku mōhio inaianei. Ki te kore e nui taku whakamarie ki a ia, kua mutu tana hiranga ki ahau. He māmā noa iho," te kōrero a Chloe.

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5. Ko te kore e wātea ngā kare ā-roto tana tautuhinga taunoa

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu kino o te tāne i te wā e whakaipoipo ana, me te mea he hama me he whao hei whakatuwhera i a ia. "Ko te tikanga, ko ngā tāne pakeke kāore e taea te hanga hononga kare ā-roto ki ngā wāhine i whiriwhiria e rātou kia piri tahi, ka noho pūmau i roto i te wā, kāore e taea te tuku i a rātou anō kia aroha i te wehi kei whakarērea rātou e te tangata e arohaina ana." – Bell Hooks, Will to Change.

He maha ngā take mō tōna korenga e wātea ki te taha kare ā-roto, ā, ahakoa e aroha ana koe ki a ia, he tika tonu kia whiwhi koe i tētahi hoa e tuwhera ana tōna ngākau ki te manaaki i a koe. Tērā pea ka puta te korenga o te kare ā-roto i roto i ngā whanonga pukuriri, te whakatoi, me te riri.

E mea ana a Tākuta Bhonsle, "E whakaakona ana ngā tāne ki te huna i ngā kare ā-roto, me te mea he mea ngaro paru noa iho. Ahakoa i roto i ngā whānau, ka kī atu rātou ki te tama kia whakarerekē i ōna kare ā-roto mēnā kei te whakaatu ia i te ngoikore. He pai ake te whakaae ki ngā take riri o te tāne , pērā i tā tātou whakaaro he pai ake te whakaae ki te pouri o ngā wāhine. Koinei te take kāore ngā tama me ngā tāne e rapu, e whiwhi rānei i te whakamarie mō ō rātou mamae pērā i ētahi atu tāngata. Kāore tēnei i te tika, ā, e kitea ana te kino hinengaro ki a rātou."

6. Ka whakama tonu ia i a koe

"Ahakoa nā te āhua o taku kākahu, nā aku wheako moepuku o mua rānei, he tino hokihoki tēnei tangata, ā, kotahi wiki noa iho te roa o taku whakaipoipo ki a ia. I pōuri ahau. Āe, me i kite noa ahau i ngā tohu kino i roto i te kōtaha whakaipoipo a te tāne kia kore ai ahau e haere tahi me ia," te kōrero a Amelia.

Heoi, he mea noa tēnei wheako puta noa i te ao. Ka whakaaturia e rātou ō rātou ake āwangawanga ki a koe, ka waiho koe hei whakamātautau iti mā rātou, ka taea e rātou te whakahaere me te whakarerekē i tā rātou e pai ai. He tika kia whiwhi koe i tētahi hoa rangatira e kore e whakamā, e whakaute ana i tō whakaaturanga me tō hītori, ā, ehara i te hoa rangatira, i te tāne rānei e whakahē ana i tō āhua , i tō hītori, i tō ira tangata me ō manakohanga.

7. Ngā tohu whero o te tāne: He tangata whakahāwea ira tangata ia

He maha āna karanga i ngā wāhine he ngoikore, he whakaari. E kōrero whakaiti ana ia mō rātou, engari e kī ana he rerekē koe. Kua tūtaki tātou katoa ki ngā momo rerekē o tēnei tāne, kāore? Ka kitea te whakahāwea ira tangata i roto i te tāne i roto i tana whakapae i ngā morehu o te tukino, o te whakatoi rānei mō ngā mea i pā ki a rātou, e whakaiti ana ia i ngā wāhine, ā, e pai ana ia ki te whakahaere i ā rātou whanonga moepuku. Kāore ia e whakaaro he ōrite te hinengaro o ngā wāhine ki ngā tāne, ā, e tawai ana, e whakahē ana rānei i ā rātou whakatutukitanga.

Ki te kite koe i ēnei tohu whero i roto i te kōtaha whakaipoipo a te tāne, swipe tonu ki maui. I a tātou e tipu ake ana, ka ako tātou ko te tangata whakahāwea ira tangata e whakaiti ana i te wahinetanga o tetahi, e whakaiti ana rānei i tō ira tangata katoa, ehara i te tangata pakari i te kare ā-roto.

8. Me nui te whakangungu i ana pūkenga kōrero

Ahakoa kāore e taea e ia te kōrero whakaraerae, whakawhanaunga rānei ki a koe, he tino whanoke rānei ia, ko te korenga o ngā pūkenga kōrero tētahi o ngā tohu nui o te tāne. Ko ngā kōrero te mea e toe ana ki a koe i ngā rā e kore e pai te moe tāne, ā, e ahua mahi ana te haere ki waho. Ki te kore e taea e ia te kōrero pai ki a koe, ā, e ahua ana me whakaaro koe ki ngā kaupapa hei kōrero i ia wā, e ahua ngenge ana rānei koe i muri i ia waeatanga, kua tae ki te wā ki te arotake anō i tēnei whanaungatanga kino.

"Nā ōku hoa i kī mai he tangata whakahawea ia, ā, kāore ia i ngawari ki ahau. Kāore au i kite i te tīmatanga, ā, i riri hoki ahau ki a rātou mō te whakahē i a ia. Engari he tika tā rātou. I kite rātou i te mea i whakakahoretia e au kia kite, kia whakaae rānei. I wehe māua i muri tata mai," te kī a Cathy.

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9. Ehara ia i te hoa tautoko ki te hapori LGBTQIA+

Kāore, ehara i te mea ko te āhua o te katoa o ngā tāngata he hoa tautoko ki te hapori ina pātaihia rātou. Engari i roto i te huarahi tūturu ake – ka whai rātou i ngā tāngata takatāpui ki te ako atu mō ō tātou tirohanga, ka whakaako i a rātou anō (i tō rātou ake tere) mō ngā take e pāngia ana tātou e ngā takatāpui, ka mātakitaki, ka pānui hoki i ngā ihirangi takatāpui i hangaia e ngā tāngata takatāpui, ka tū ake rātou mō ngā tika pāpori-ahurea me ngā tika ture o te hapori LGBTQ i ngā wā katoa e taea ai, ka kōrero rātou ki ētahi o ō rātou hoa me te whānau kia mōhio ake ai rātou, ā, ko te mea nui, kāore rātou e whakamahi i te reo ira tangata me te reo rua.

Ka pāngia hoki ngā wāhine cishet e te queerphobia me te transphobia, ā, he tohu nui ēnei mō te tangata māharahara. He mea nui tēnei mō te hunga transgender, queer rānei, e hiahia ana ki te whakaipoipo i tētahi tāne cis. Me mōhio koe mēnā he hoa kaha ia ki te hapori e noho ana koe, ā, e whakaute ana ia i tō tuakiri tōrangapū me tō tuakiri pāpori, ki te kore, ka takahi i te whakaaetanga.

10. Ka whakangawari ia i a koe

Ko te whakamāmā i te whanaungatanga he mahi tuku tohu pāpori whakaipoipo, engari kāore e piripono ana (arā, "ngā whakamāmā") hei kukume i tētahi hoa aroha ki roto, me te kore e whakapau kaha. Arā, kei te ārahi i tētahi. Ko te whakamāmā i te whanaungatanga he tikanga kei te whakaatu te hoa i te aroha ki a koe engari kātahi ka wehe ohorere, ka mahi anō i tēnei tauira kia panaia rā anō koe ki te pakitara.

"I tīmata ahau ki te whakaaro mēnā he pono te aroha, mēnā kei te noho tonu te whanaungatanga, ā, mēnā nōku te he i peia atu ai ia i ahau," te kōrero a Dan. Ko ō rāua kare ā-roto kore pumau, me te kore aro me te whakapau kaha ki a koe, ehara i te mea hei whakatau māu. Rere atu. Pēnei i tā taku hoa, "Kāore koe e tika kia whiwhi i te paraoa pokepoke, engari e tika ana kia whiwhi koe i te katoa o te toa tunu kai."

11. He haki whero te whanonga whakakā hau i roto i te tāne

Ko te whakamāori i te mana o te tangata i roto i ngā whanaungatanga tētahi o ngā tohu nui e kōrerohia ana mō te tāne. He rautaki tinihanga tēnei hei huri i te mana o te tangata i roto i te whanaungatanga kia whai mana katoa ai tetahi ki tetahi. He tokomaha ngā tāngata e pāngia ana e tēnei āhuatanga pōuri.

Ko te wāhi kotahi e tika ana kia tino haumaru koe, arā, he whanaungatanga aroha, ka huri hei moemoeā kino. Ka meinga koe kia ruarua i ngā āhuatanga katoa o tō oranga – ō pūkenga, ō hoa, tō whānau, ō mataku, ō hiahia, tae atu ki ō kōrero me ō whakapono. Kāore he kawenga i tērā taha, ā, ko te mea pai ko te wehe atu i te wā e taea ai e koe. Nā te mea ka roa ake tō tatari, ka nui ake te mate o ō rātou awe. Mena kua pā ki a koe tēnei, e tika ana kia ora koe, ā, i Bonobology, ka tukuna e mātou he āwhina ngaio mā roto i tā mātou rōpū kaitohutohu raihana hei āwhina i a koe ki te tīmata i te ara ki te whakaora.

12. Kāore ia e tuku i a koe ki roto i tōna ao

E whakaaro ana koe he tangata tauhou tonu koe, kotahi te hikoinga i waho o tō rātou kāinga, e tawhiri ana i a rātou, e tatari ana kia tukuna koe ki roto? Mena koinā, he tika ake māu te mea pai ake. E tika ana māu ō rātou ngākau katoa, me te wheako ataahua o te aroha pono. Mena kāore ia i te rite ki te tuku i a koe kia tūtaki ki ana hoa, kāore e ngana ki te tūtaki ki a koe, kāore e hiahia ki te kite i a koe i te aroaro o te marea, i waenganui rānei i te hunga e mōhio ana ia, me mōhio koe ki ēnei tohu nui o te tangata, ā, me whakamutu tonu i tēnei whanaungatanga.

E mea ana a Cora, "I tino pōhēhē ahau i ngā wā katoa. Ka ringihia e ia tōna aroha ki ahau i a māua e tūtaki ana i te tūmataitinga. Engari kātahi ka whakatūria e ia he taiepa. Kāore ia i karanga i ahau ki tōna kāinga. Kāore au i te mōhio ki ngā whakaaro o ōna hoa mōku, ā, kāore au i te "whakaarohia". He mamae."

13. Ngā tohu kino o te tāne: Te nui rawa o te mana whakahaere me te hae

He tangata whai mana ia, ā, kua tae ki te taumata o te mana whakahaere me te hae kino. Āe, ahakoa ngā kiriata, kāore te whai mana me te hae e ātaahua i muri i tētahi wā. Ina hae ngā tāne , tera pea ka meinga koe kia hiahiahia mō te wā poto, engari ki te mea he tangata koe e aroha ana ki tō rātou herekoretanga, ka tere te ahua o tēnei whai mana ki te whakawhāiti i a koe. Ko te raruraru, ko tātou, hei hapori, e whakahē ana i te hae.

Engari he kare ā-roto anō te hae, ā, kaua e whakama. He nui ngā kōrero e pā ana ki ō tātou hiahia me ngā mea e hiahiatia ana e tātou i tēnei wā tonu. Me i ako tātou ki te whakapuaki i aua hiahia i roto i te huarahi hauora, kaua hoki e ako mā roto i ngā kiriata kia mura, kia mura hoki ō tātou hae – kia pau rā anō tātou me ō tātou hoa!

E kī ana a Tākuta Bhonsle, "Ki te hae koe, tuatahi, me whai kawenga mō tō mamae. Kātahi ka whakapuaki i tō mamae ki tō hoa i roto i te pono, te kore whakawehi, me te whakaute. Pātai atu mō ngā whakaaro me pēhea te whakatau, te ārai rānei i tēnei hae. Kia tuwhera ki ngā whakaaro. Me whai kōrero taipitopito ngā whanaungatanga, ā, me whai wāhi kōrua ki te kōrero tetahi ki tetahi, "Me āwhina koe ki te whakamama i tōku mamae, ā, ka oati ahau ka wātea hoki taku āwhina ki a koe ā muri ake nei."

Pānui e pā ana: 13 Ngā Āhuatanga o te Hoa Tāne Paitini – Me Ngā Hipanga e 3 Ka Taea e Koe te Mahi

14. Ka whakarite ia i a koe ki ana hoa o mua

He tino whakarihariha tēnei, ā, ka taea e koe te whakaaro kua whakakahoretia koe, kua pōuri hoki tō ngākau. Tērā pea ko ana hoa o mua tana whānau whiriwhiri, tērā pea he mea nui tonu ki a ia, ā, he mea pai katoa tēnā, engari he tikanga tāna ki te whakahua tonu i taua tangata i roto i tētahi kōrero whaiaro, hei huarahi rānei ki te whakarite i a koe ki a rātou. Kāore i te tika ki a koe, ā, e tika ana kia whiwhi koe i te pai ake.

Ki te kore ia e noho tahi me koe i te wā kounga, engari e taea ana e ia te whakawātea i te wā katoa o te ao mō rātou, haere atu. Me manaaki koe i roto i te whanaungatanga, kaua hoki e whawhai mō te aro. Ko tana whakahē tonu i tō aroaro mō te aroaro o tana hoa o mua e whakaatu ana kei te aroha pea ia ki tana hoa o mua . Kāore koe e hiahia ki ētahi atu tohu kino i roto i te tāne kia ara ake ai ia ki te wehe atu.

15. Kāore ia e hoatu wāhi ki a koe

E hiahia ana ia ki te haere tahi me koe i ngā wāhi katoa. E hiahia ana ia ki te mōhio ki tāu mahi i ngā wā katoa, me te hunga e noho tahi ana koe. E hiahia ana ia ki te kōrero ki a koe i ngā wā katoa, ā, kāore ia e pai ki ngā whakaaro kia noho noa koe. Kua tae ki tētahi wā ka tangi, ka tangi rānei tō waea, ka mōhio koe ko ia, ā, ka tīmata koe ki te manukanuka, ki te pōuri rānei.

He pai ki te katoa te auau o te kōrero ki tā rātou hoa. Me kōrero mārire, mārire hoki koe ki a ia he aha te mea e pai ana mōu, me aha hoki te mea kāore e pai. Ki te kore tonu ia e whakaae kia pērā koe, kaua e rapu huarahi hei whakarerekē i a ia. Koinei ia tae noa ki tana whakatau kia ora ake i ōna āwangawanga. Kāore koe e hiahia ki te aro atu ki tēnā.

E akiaki ana a Tākuta Aman Bhonsle i ngā tāne kia whakarerekē i ngā whakaaro ahurea me ngā whakaaro hinengaro mō te tikanga o te tāne. E mea ana ia, "E kīia ana rātou kia toa, kia tutu i roto i tō tātou ahurea, ahakoa i roto i ā tātou kiriata. Kāore he mea miharo he uaua ki ngā tāne te whakapuaki i ngā kare ā-roto . He mea noa iho tēnei. Ā, kāore ngā tāne e kōrero whakahē ana i tēnei mea nā te mea mō rātou, te āhua nei kei te pai te haere o ngā mea. He aha rā rātou ka whakahē ai i te tikanga?"

"Ko te wā anake ka tīmata ai rātou ki te pātai i ngā mea katoa ko te wā ka puta he mea tino kino, ā, ka pahū katoa ki ō rātou kanohi. Kātahi ka akiakihia rātou ki te pātai ki a rātou anō, "I hea ahau i he ai?" Koinei te wā ka tīmata ai rātou ki te whakaaroaro, ā, ko te tumanako ka taea e rātou te tīmata ki te mahi ki te whakaora."

Ko tā mātou tumanako ka taea e koe te kite pai ake i ēnei tohu kino i roto i tētahi tāne, ā, ka taea e tēnei te whakapai ake i tō wheako whakaipoipo. He maha ngā āhuatanga o te tuakiri o tētahi e kore nei mātou e whakaae. Ko te mea tuatahi me mahi ki tētahi o ēnei tohu kino ko te kōrero ki taua tangata, kātahi ka whakatau.

He aha ngā tāne ka wehe atu ai i a rātou anō i muri i te whanaungatanga piripono?

Kāore, kāore! He aha ngā take kāore e taea e ngā tāne te whakaae ki te 'KĀORE' i runga i te moenga

Ko te Huarahi Pai ki te Whakakore i te Whakakorenga ko te Anga Atu ki te Reira

Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.