E riri ana taku tāne ki taku angitu, ā, e hae ana hoki

(E ai ki tā Joie Bose)

Ina tonu te whakaaro o te wahine 'kei te riri taku tāne ki taku angitu', ka tere tonu te huri o ngā whanaungatanga harikoa, haumaru hoki o te tokorua. Ahakoa he kare ā-tangata noa te hae, e mōhiotia ana ka whakararu i te hinengaro me te whanaungatanga o te tangata.

Ka pāngia tātou katoa e tēnei āhuatanga i tētahi wā o tō tātou ao, he nui atu pea i tā tātou e whakaae ana. Ina whiwhi tō hoa pai i ngā tohu nui atu i a koe… ina hoki mai tō tuakana/teina me tētahi tohu kanapa… ina tae mai tētahi whanaunga ki tāwāhi ki te whanaungatanga e hiahiatia ana. I te mea he poto noa iho ēnei mamae o te hae, ā, ka taea e koe te huri i tō ara ki tua atu i tēnā hei harikoa mō tētahi e arohaina ana, hei tahuri rānei. te hae hei hihiri, kei te pai katoa.

Ki te kore e puritia, ka taea e te hae te huri hei riri i roto i te whanaungatanga. Ā, mā taua riri nui ka memeha haere te whanaungatanga…

E riri ana taku tāne ki taku angitu

E hiahia tonu ana te tāne mātau kia ako anō tana wahine i muri i te marena, ā, i tūpato tonu mātou ki ēnei tāne. I mōhio mātou he pai tonu ki ēnei tāne ngā kōtiro mangu, nā te mea kāore rātou e aro nui ki te ataahua. I runga i te tae o tōku kiri, i mōhio tonu ahau kāore te marena e mutu i taku ao ako, ā, koinei tonu te mea i pā ki ahau.

Ahakoa aku inoi me aku maimoatanga ataahua katoa! I a aku whanaunga e tuku mai ana i ngā whakaahua o te hukarere mai i Kanata, i Chandigarh ahau e ako ana mō taku tohu paetahi i roto i te whakahaere pakihi i te aratau tawhiti, nā te mea he Ahorangi Kaute taku tāne, ā, kāore ia i hiahia ki te whai wahine kore mātauranga.

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I hiahia ia kia haere tonu taku ako, kia whiwhi mahi ai ahau

Nā te mea i puta ahau i te akomanga tuatahi, i akiaki ia i ahau kia whai i te tohu Paerua i te mea ko taku anake i hiahia he tamariki. Kāore ahau i whakaroa i tēnei wā, nā te mea ko te tikanga o te tohu paerua me wehe atu ahau i te whare. Me kawe ahau e te ahorangi ki tana whare wānanga, ā, he mea whakaharikoa tēnā, nā te mea he kōtiro nō te kāinga ahau i mua, ā, i miharo ahau ki te tāone nui.

I muri i te putanga mai o aku hua mō te Tohu Paerua, ka akiaki taku tāne i ahau kia mahi. He mea tino uaua tēnā! Kāore rawa ngā wāhine i mahi i roto i tō mātou whānau mēnā ko te ka taea e te tāne te tautoko i te wahineI riri rawa tōku pāpā.

Engari ko te hanga i ahau hei wahine hou, hihiko, kua noho hei pepeha mā taku tāne.

I tohe ia kia mahi ahau, ahakoa kāore au i hiahia. I whawhai anō hoki ia ki tōna whānau, nā te mea kāore rātou i tautoko i te wahine e mahi ana. Inaa, i hokona mai e taku tāne he koti, ētahi hāte me ngā tarau hei mau māku ki te tari. I te huri ahau hei wahine tauira e hiahia ana ia ki te whakaatu. I te huri ahau hei wahine tauira e hiahia ana ia ki te whakaatu.

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Kātahi ka puta ngā tohu e hae ana ia ki taku angitu

I muri i ētahi tau, ka puta he haputanga tūpono, ā, i muri mai ka mate taku tamaiti, ka pouri ahau, ā, I totohu ahau ki te mahiI te wā i kī ai te tākuta me tango aku ovaries, ā, e kore rawa ahau e wheako i te whaeatanga, ka tīmata te katoa ki te whakapae i taku momo noho. I taua wā tonu, kua kanga ahau.

He rerekē te Atua, i te mea tata ki te wā kotahi i tukuna mai ai he mahi ki ahau i tētahi kamupene i Delhi, he rite tonu te utu ki taku tāne, kātahi ka ngā tohu e hae ana ia I tīmata te puta o taku angitu. Mō te wā tuatahi i roto i tōna ao, i kite ahau kāore taku tāne i te tino aro ki tēnei momo rongo. I mea ia me noho noa koe ki Chandigarh.

Tērā pea ka mōhio taku tāne kei a au te pūmanawa ki te whiwhi moni nui atu i a ia, ā, i kite ahau i te riri o taku tāne mō taku angitu.

I taku neke ki te rapu mahi pai ake…

I rerekē tōna waiaro. I tīmata ia ki te pouri mō te whakaako i ahau, ā, ka tīmata ia ki te titiro ki te mātauranga me te āhua o te noho hou i akiakihia e ia ki ahau, he kanga, nā te mea i te āhua nei, kua tangohia e ia te mana o te matua. I tīmata ia ki te ngaro i te whakaaro tika. I uaua te noho tahi me ia, ā, i roto i te tau kotahi ka tīmata taku mahi ki Delhi.

E tata ana ki te 20 tau mai i taku noho ki Delhi. Ko au te tumuaki tuarua o tētahi kamupene o te ao whānui. I mutu tana kōrero ki ahau i te rā i tīmata ai ahau ki te whiwhi moni nui atu i a ia, ā, i huri ia mai i te noho hei tautoko nui mōku, hei tāne noa iho e hae ana ki te mahi a tana wahine.

I mua atu hoki i tēnei i whawhai māua, engari i kitea tonutia he huarahi hei whakatau i ā māua raruraru.

I pēhea rā, kāore i taea e ia te whakaae ki taku whiwhinga moni nui atu i a ia. Ka haere ahau ki Chandigarh kotahi i te tau tae noa ki tēnei rā ki te toro atu ki te kāinga i whakarerekē i te huarahi o tōku ao. Engari kāore māua e kōrero. I ngana ahau ki te kōrero ki a ia i te tuatahi, engari i tono mai ia kia whakarērea taku mahi ā, kāore e taea e au te mahi i tēnā ināianei.

Inaianei, he mea nui ake taku mahi ki ahau

Kei te puta ngā kōrero pakiwaitara e mea ana he tangata whakaipoipo wahine ia i nāianei, ā, he maha ngā wā ka kitea me ngā hoa mahi wahine. E kōrero ana te iwi mō te nui haere o āna ākonga wahine e haere mai ana ki ngā kura. He paku mataku ngā kaimahi whare ki a ia, ā, i ia wā ka haere ahau ki Chandigarh, ka kite ahau i tētahi atu kaiawhina whare. Ka pātai mai te hunga e tata ana ki ahau mēnā he mamae tēnei whanonga āna ki ahau.

Ka mea atu au kāore, nā te mea ko te mea e mamae ake ana ko te hae o taku hoa ki taku angitu, ki taku mahi me taku umanga. Kua rerekē aku kaupapa matua. Engari kāore au e hiahia he whakarereKāore te iwi o ō tātou whānau e whakarere. E mōhio ana te Atua ki te whakamamae ka tukuna e au ki a rātou mēnā ka tangohia e au taua taahiraa!

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He mea noa te hae o te tāne ki te mahi a tana wahine

Nga tane te hae ehara i te mea onge te mahi me te angitu o tana wahine, ehara hoki i te mea he āhuatanga motuhake ki Īnia, ahakoa he nui ake te kitea i tō tātou wāhanga o te ao. ako kua whakapumautia ko te angitu o te hoa aroha ka whakaoho i ngā kare ā-roto kino i roto i ngā tāne, ahakoa kei te taumata huna.

Ahakoa kei roto rātou i te huarahi mahi kotahi, kāore rānei. Ina hoki, kāore e hiahiatia kia angitu i roto i te umanga.

Ki te mea kei te whakaaro te tāne kei te kaha ake tana hoa rangatira i tētahi wāhanga o te ao, tera pea ka mataku ia. Nō reira, ki te kore e taea e koe te whakakore i te whakaaro 'e riri ana taku tāne ki taku angitu', tera pea he take pai mōna. Anei ētahi āhuatanga e whakatupu ana i te hae o te tāne mō te angitu o tana wahine:

1. Te whakatinanatanga o te mana o te patriarchal

He mea nui te āhua o tō tātou whanaketanga ki roto i tō tātou tirohanga ao. I roto i te hapori patriarchal, ko ngā tāne te hunga e whakatipu ana i te whānau. Nō reira, ina eke te mahi a tā rātou hoa rangatira ki runga ake i a rātou i roto i te ao mahi, ka tīmata te whakaaro ngoikore. I ngā wā tino kino, tera pea ka nui tēnei hei huri i a ia hei taniwha hae.

2. Te wehi kei hinga

Ko te hae, te riri, me te riri me te ngangau e puta mai ana i tēnei wā, he maha ngā wā ka puta he tohu o te wehi kei hinga ia. Tērā pea kāore e taea e te tāne te tautoko i te angitu o tana wahine nā te mea e kite ana ia he whakamaumahara tonu tēnei kei hinga ia, ā, ka whakanui ake i te wehi kei kore ia e pai mōu. Tērā pea ka tīmata ia ki te whakahē nui i a koe, ki te whakaatu rānei i te ... ngā tohu e kore ia e whakaute i a koe.

3. Te whakaaro kāore he hiranga

He mahi hou, he mahi rānei whakatairanga kei reira anō ngā kawenga tāpiri, ko te tikanga ko te nuinga o ō kaha me tō wā ka aro nui ake ki tāu mahi. Ahakoa kāore he he o tēnā – ka pērā anō te mahi a te tangata i roto i ō hu – tera pea ka kite te hoa kua riri kē i tēnei he panonitanga o ō kaupapa matua.

Mā tēnei ka nui ake tōna hae ki ngā ahunga whakamua e anga whakamua ana koe i roto i tō mahi. Ki te hari koe i tō mahi, kaua e tukua te kare ā-roto e 'riri ana taku tāne mō taku angitu' kia aukati i a koe.

I taua wā anō, ki te kore te whanaungatanga e pakaru, ngana ki te whakapā atu ki tō hoa rangatira, me te whai wā ki te mahi i tō kōrua marena. Te wawaotanga mai i waho i te āhua o te tohutohu mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine ka taea te āwhina nui i tēnei āhuatanga. Ki te hiahia āwhina ngaio koe ki te whakatau i te hae i roto i tō whanaungatanga, kia mōhio koe he āwhina noa iho pawhiri atu.

Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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