Ehara te hae i te wheako pai i roto i ngā whanaungatanga. E kore e pai mō te hoa e pupuhi ana i tēnei kare ā-roto, mō te hoa rānei e pāngia ana e te hae.
Mō te hunga e whakaaro ana, "He aha ahau i hae ai i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga?" kei roto i ngā kupu a te kaituhi rongonui a William Penn te whakamārama, "Ko te hunga hae he raruraru ki ētahi atu, engari he whakamamae ki a rātou anō."
Ae, koinei hoki tētahi o ngā kare ā-tangata tino noa e pā ana ki a tātou katoa i ētahi wā. Heoi, ina mahi tetahi tangata mai i te wāhi o te hae nui, ka taea e te whārite i waenga i ngā hoa te huri hei tino paitini.
He tohu aroha te hae? He tokomaha e whakamārama ana i te hae hei tohu aroha, engari he rerekē te āhua i waenganui i te hae ki te aroha me te te hae paitini me te mana pupuri. Pānuihia kia kitea ai he aha te mea ka taea e koe te whakahaere me te whakahaere i tēnei kare ā-roto i mua i te pānga ki tō whanaungatanga.
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10 Ngā Tohu o te Hae i roto i te Hononga
Ripanga o Ihirangi
Ko te hae i roto i te whanaungatanga he huarahi te whakahaere i te mana whakahaereIna wehi te tangata kei ngaro tana hoa rangatira, kei pōuri rānei ia i roto i tana whanaungatanga, ka tīmata te hae. Ko te nekehanga nui tēnei a te hinengaro ki te pupuri i tētahi mea e wehi ana ia kei ngaro atu.
Hei tā te kaituhi rongonui a Robert A Heinlein, "Kāore e taea e te tangata mātau, māia hoki ki a ia anō te hae ki tetahi mea. Ko te hae he tohu tonu nō te kore haumaru o te hinengaro."
Heoi, ka nui haere te hae nui i roto i ngā whanaungatanga, ka whānui haere te here i waenganui i ngā hoa. Kua whakapaetia koe e tō hoa mō ō hae? Kei te pōhēhē koe i tēnā?
Tirohia ēnei tohu matarohia e 10 o te hae i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga hei aromatawai mēnā kei a koe tēnei whanonga raruraru.
1. Te hiahia kia noho tahi i ngā wā katoa
Ko te hiahia kia noho tahi me tō hoa i ngā wā katoa me te whakapae kei te ngaro nui koe i a ia, he mahi kino tēnei. tohu o te kore haumaru. Ka hohoro te puta o ngā kare ā-roto o te hae. Hei tauira, ka tīmata pea koe ki te hae ki ngā hoa mahi e noho tahi ana tō hoa i ētahi wā. Ki ō rātou hoa rānei.
Ki tō whakaaro, kei te pau katoa tō wā e noho tahi ana rāua. Heoi, he tino whakamomori pea tēnei mō tō hoa. Mā tēnei ka rite rāua ki te herehere o te whanaungatanga.
Tērā pea kei te whakaaro koe kei te mahi koe i runga i te aroha. Engari hae he tohu aroha? Tērā pea? Kāo. Ko tēnei whanonga, i te pai rawa atu, he whakaata i te te aroha whaiaroEhara i te aroha atawhai, aroha whānui e ora ai ngā whanaungatanga.
2. Ko te tirotiro i tō hoa he tohu i te hae i roto i te whanaungatanga
Ko ngā waea me ngā tuhinga auau hei tirotiro i tō hoa i ngā wā katoa e wehe ana kōrua he tohu ki te hae nui i roto i te whanaungatanga. Tērā pea ka kitea e koe kei te aro nui koe ki a koe anō mō ngā mahi a tō hoa, me te tito tonu i ngā āhuatanga kino rawa atu i roto i tōu mahunga.
Tērā pea kei te tomuri rātou nā te mea i mau rātou i te waka, i roa rānei te hui i te mahi. Heoi, e whakapono ana koe kei te tinihanga ki a koe te noho puku rānei me ngā hoa. Ka taea e tēnei te whakanui ake i ngā kare ā-roto o te hae e raru ana koe. I roto i ēnei āhuatanga, ka puta te hae mai i te kore whakawhirinaki ki te whanaungatanga.
Ki te kore koe e whakatika i tō ara, he mea noa iho te wā ka hoha tō hoa ki te whakamārama tonu i a ia ki a koe, ā, ka whakatau ia ki te haere atu.
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3. Kāore rātou e 'whakaaetia' kia whai oranga pāpori
Ki te mea ka riri koe, ka pōuri hoki i te whakaaro ka noho tawhiti atu tō hoa i a koe, me ōna hoa hoki i te pō kotahi, he nui rawa tō hae i roto i tō whanaungatanga. Tērā pea ka ngana koe ki te aukati i a rātou kia kaua e whai i tētahi oranga pāpori mō rātou anō, ki te ngana rānei koe ki te whakakore i a rātou mā te riri 'ko au, ko rātou rānei'.
Ki te kore he mea e pai ana, ka whakatau koe ki te haere tahi atu nā te mea kāore e taea e koe te whakaaro kei waho rātou i te ao me te kore koe. Ko te whakaaro ka taea e koe te 'tuku', te 'ārai' rānei i tō hoa ki te mahi i tetahi mea, he tohu ki te hiahia mo te mana whakahaere i roto i te hononga.
Ko tētahi tēnei o ngā ngā tohu tino kino o te hae i roto i te whanaungatanga. He mea ka arahi ki te tini o ngā raruraru i waenganui i a kōrua.
4. Kāore e taea e tō hoa te kōrero ki tētahi o te ira tangata kē
E mōhio ana koe ki tēnā. Ki te kite koe i tō hoa e kōrero ana ki tētahi o te ira tangata e pai ana ki a ia, ka pakaru te reinga katoa. Wareware ki te kōrero, ahakoa ka titiro roa mai rātou ki tētahi kia kite koe, kia kōrero rānei mō tētahi hoa, mō tētahi hoa mahi rānei, ka taea e koe te rongo i te hae e tupu ake ana i roto i a koe.
Ka whakarite koe i ngā huarahi katoa kia kaua rātou e tata ki te ira tangata kē, ki te kore e tino tika. Ka noho ngoikore koe nā te mea kāore e taea e koe te whakahaere i te ōwehenga ira tangata i te wāhi mahi. Ehara ēnei i te tohu aroha, engari he tohu whakahaere i roto i te whanaungatanga.
Mā te aro nui ki ētahi atu ka puta te āwangawanga i roto i a koe, arā, kāore koe i te pai, kei tinihangatia rānei koe e tō hoa, kei whakarērea rānei koe e ia mō tētahi atu.
5. Mā te tirotiro i te waea, te pāpāho pāpori e whakaatu te hae i roto i ngā whanaungatanga
E tumanako ana koe kia tukuna mai e tō hoa tā rātou waea ki a koe kia tirotirohia ina tonoa mai e koe? Kāore rānei? tirohia tā rātou waea huna? Ka tirotirohia e koe ā rātou mahi pāpāho pāpori me te heru matatau? Kātahi ka haere ki te whai i ngā tāngata katoa kua tuku kōrero, kua whakautu rānei ki ā rātou pou, ā, kua uru atu rānei tō hoa ki ā rātou pou?
Mā te mahi i tēnei mō te wā roa, ka kitea e koe tētahi mea, tētahi tangata rānei e whakararuraru ana i a koe. Ahakoa kāore he take nui mōu kia pēnei ai ō whakaaro. He tohu matarohia tēnei kei te hae koe i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga.
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6. Ko ngā whakapae mō te tinihanga he tohu o te hae i roto i te whanaungatanga
Kua mau te hae i roto i te whanaungatanga ki tō hinengaro, ā, kua tino whakapono tetahi wāhanga o koe kei te tinihanga tō hoa i a koe. Ka kite koe i a ia e kōrero tahi ana me tētahi tangata ātaahua, ka whakaaro koe kei te moe tahi rāua.
Ka titiro tuarua rātou ki te tangata e haere ana, ka whakapae koe kei te hiahia rātou ki te kuhu ki roto i ō rātou tarau. He hononga mahi tata tō rātou ki tētahi hoa mahi, ā, ka whakapono koe kei te patu puku rātou.
Ahakoa kāore he pūtake hei tautoko i ēnei ariā, kāore koe e whakaaroaro rua i mua i te tuku whakapae ki tō hoa.
7. Ka takaro koe kia hae ai tō hoa
E hae ana koe ki te tangata, ki te katoa rānei i roto i te ao o tō hoa. E whakapono ana koe kei te tinihangatia koe. Ko te mea nui, e hiahia ana koe kia aro mai rātou ki a koe. Hei whakatutuki i tēnei, ka tīmata koe te takaro ki ētahi atu, ina koa kei te taha tō hoa rangatira.
Ehara i te mea ka whakanui ake i tō whakaaro rangatira anake, engari ka whakaoho ake hoki i te riri o tō hoa. I tētahi ara pōhēhē, kei te hoatu e koe ki a rātou te reka o tō rongoā. Ka meinga rātou kia rite ki ōu kare ā-roto ina pāngia rātou e te hae nui i roto i ngā whanaungatanga.
8. Ka horapa te hae i roto i ngā whanaungatanga ki roto i ō rātou whānau anō hoki
Ehara i te mea ko ngā hoa, ko ngā hoa mahi, ko ngā tāngata o waho anake te pūtake o te hae i roto i ngā whanaungatanga. Hei hoa hae, ka tīmata pea koe ki te whakahawea ki te whānau o tō hoa aroha. Mena he tata tō hoa ki tōna whaea, ka tīmata noa koe ki te noho whenua ki a ia.
Mena kei a rātou he tikanga tuku iho o te whanau Hei whakanui i te Kirihimete me te Kirihimete, ka taea e koe te whakamātau i ngā mahi tinihanga katoa kia whakarērea ai e tō hoa tēnei tikanga ā-tau, kia noho tahi ai rāua. Ahakoa he mea pōwhiri anō hoki koe.
Ka hoki katoa ki te whai i tō hoa rangatira ko koe anake. Ka noho te aroha o te whānau hei arai i taua whainga.
9. Ka tukua e koe tō hoa kia hara
Me kī, kei te whakaaro tō hoa ki te haere ki te pāti me āna hoa i te mutunga wiki, ā, kua whakaae noa koe. Ka whakaaro koe kei te wareware koe ki te pāti, kāore e kōrero mōna, kātahi ka haere tonu ki te whakatakoto i āu ake mahere – he mea anō kei roto ko tō hoa.
Ka kī atu koe kua tunua e koe tētahi kai tino reka mā kōrua. Kua tono rānei koe i tētahi wharekai ataahua i te whenua mō te mutunga wiki.
Ina whakamahara rātou i a koe kua whai mahere kē rātou, ka whakama rātou mō te mea kua nui ake ā rātou hoa i a koe. Ki te tīmata koe ki te whakaatu i ēnei ngā tauira o te hae I te tīmatanga o te whanaungatanga, he uaua pea te piri ki a koe mō te wā roa.
10. He tohu hae ngā pakanga tonu i roto i te whanaungatanga
Ae, ko te tikanga, ka whawhai, ka totohe, ka tautohetohe ngā tokorua katoa. Engari ko te ako ake ngā pakanga tonu Ko te whakaaro nui ki tō hoa, ahakoa he aha, he aha rānei āna mahi, he tohu tēnei o te hae i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga.
Ka tīmata koe i ngā pakanga mō te kapu e puritia ana i te wāhi hē, te tōkena e takoto noa ana, te puoro e whakatangihia ana kia nui rawa te haruru, te whiriwhiri a tō hoa ki te pānui pukapuka, ki te mātaki rānei i tētahi whakaaturanga kaua ki te kōrero ki a koe. Ehara ēnei pakanga i te mea mō ēnei take wairangi.
Tērā pea i puta ai ō hae i tētahi mea i kōrerotia, i mahia rānei e tō hoa. Engari i te aro atu ki aua kare ā-roto kino, ka mutu ka tukuna atu e koe mā roto i aua momo pahūtanga. Mā tēnei ka whakaaro tō hoa he rite tonu rātou ki te tangata haere i runga i nga anga hua manu huri noa koe.
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Nā te mea kua mōhio koe ki ngā tohu o te hae i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, ā, ki te mea kei te hono koe ki te nuinga o aua tohu, me ako koe me pēhea te whakahaere i te hae i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga. Ki te kore, ka pā kino pea ēnei āhuatanga kino ki te hononga e tohaina ana e kōrua ko tō hoa, ka nui ake te whakakaha i ō āwangawanga, i tō wehi, ā, ka whakakino i tō whakaaro ki a koe anō.
Anei ngā huarahi whai hua e whitu hei whakatau i te hae i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga.
1. Kia mārama ki ngā take o te hae i roto i ngā whanaungatanga
Ko te koretake, te wehi me te iti o te whakaaro ki a koe anō kua tautuhia ko ngā tino take o te hae i roto i ngā whanaungatanga. He maha ngā wā, ko ēnei ngoikoretanga he hua o ō wheako o mua. Tērā pea kua tinihangatia koe i mua, ā, ka arahi pea tēnei ki ngā raruraru whakawhirinaki. take whakawhirinaki tērā pea koinei te tino take o tō hae.
Me whakapau kaha koe kia kaha ake te manawanui ki ngā patunga o tō mua.
Ki te kitea koe e hae ana i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, kia mārama kua neke atu koe i tō mua, ā, kei roto koe i tētahi whanaungatanga hou. Ehara tō hoa o nāianei i tō hoa o mua. Kaua e whakawhiti i ngā taumahatanga kare ā-roto o mua ki tō nāianei me tō āpōpō.
2. Kaua e tukua te hae kia pau koe
Ka puta te hae nui i roto i ngā whanaungatanga ina tīmata koe ki te tuku i ō kare ā-roto ki te whakahaere i ō whakaaro me ō mahi, kia tīmata ai te horomia o koe. Ae, ko te kore e mahi i te āhua o ō kare ā-roto tetahi o ngā mea tino uaua ki te mahi. Engari me whakapau kaha koe.
Hei tauira, ki te hae koe ki ngā taunekeneke a tō hoa rangatira ki tētahi atu tangata, kia maumahara koe ko koe te tangata i whiriwhiria e rātou hei hoa. Me i hiahia rātou ki te whakaipoipo i tēnei tangata, kua pērā rātou. I taua wā anō, kia maumahara koe kāore e taea e tō hoa rangatira te noho mokemoke hei pehi i ō mataku, i ō āwangawanga rānei.
Kāore koe e hiahia ki te pehi i ō kare ā-roto engari me ako ki te whakaaroaro ki a koe anō. Pēnei, e kore ngā kare ā-roto kino e waiho hei kaha akiaki i roto i tō koiora.
3. Arotahi ki ngā meka kia mutu ai te hae i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga
Me kī atu i haere tahi tō hoa me āna hoa, i haereere rānei mō te mahi, ā, kei te whakaatu mai ō hae ki a koe nā te mea kāore ia e hiahia ki te noho tahi me koe. Engari ko tāu whakamārama tēnā. Ehara i te mea pono.
"He huarahi whai hua hei whakamutu i te hae i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga ko te arotahi ki ngā meka - ki ngā mea e mōhio ana koe me ngā mea kāore, kaua ki ngā mea e whakaponohia ana e koe." Mā tēnā ka āwhina i a koe ki te whakamutu i te tito kōrero hei whakakī i ngā āputa kei roto i tō hinengaro."
E tino whakamārama ana tēnei kīanga a Bob Marley mō te hae, "He ara nui te ora, he maha ngā tohu. Nō reira, i a koe e eke ana i roto i ngā ara pōrearea, kaua e whakararuraru i tō hinengaro. Rere atu i te mauahara, i te whanoke me te hae. Kaua e huna ō whakaaro, engari me whakatakoto tō tirohanga ki te ao tūturu. Maranga ake, kia ora!"
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4. Tuhia tō hae ki tō hoa
Kia mārama koe ki te hae i roto i te hinengaro o ngā whanaungatanga, ka māmā ake te whakatau. Nā te mea kua mōhio koe ki ngā mea e whakaoho ana i ēnei kare ā-roto kino i roto i a koe, wetekina aua kare ā-roto mā te tuku i tō hoa ki te kite i ō ngoikoretanga.
A te wā anō ka hae koe mō tētahi mea i kōrerotia, i mahia rānei e tō hoa, whakapuakina ō kare ā-roto ki a ia. Engari kaua e whakapae, kaua hoki e tīmata te whawhai. Ki te mea he uaua rawa ki a koe te kōrero tika mō ēnei mea, ka taea e koe te whakamahi i te whakakatakata hei whakaiti i te taha o tētahi kaupapa tairongo.
He tino āwhina tēnei mēnā kua maha ngā wā kua pāngia kōrua ko tō hoa ngā pakanga mō te mea kotahi i ngā wā o mua. Heoi anō, ka taea hoki e koe te whakamātau i te huarahi whakawhitiwhiti kōrero hei whakapuaki i ō kare ā-roto. Hei tauira, ki te hae koe ki tētahi tangata motuhake i roto i tōna ao.
Mea atu ki a rātou ahakoa e whakawhirinaki ana koe e kore rawa rātou e tinihanga i a koe, kei te whakararuraru tonu tō rātou whanaungatanga ki a X i a koe. Me tono atu ki a rātou kia whakaarohia ō kare ā-roto mō tēnei take.
5. Kia aroha ki tō hoa
Ehara i te mahi ngāwari te whakatau i tētahi hoa hae. Ka pāngia te katoa e te tirotiro tonu, te kore whakawhirinaki, ngā whakapae me ngā pakanga. Ko te noho tonu o tō hoa, ahakoa ngā āhuatanga katoa, e whakaatu ana i te hiranga o te whanaungatanga ki a rātou.
A te wā ka pāngia koe e te hae, ngana ki te titiro ki te āhuatanga mai i te tirohanga a tō hoa. Kia aroha ki a rātou. Me pēhea ō whakaaro mēnā me mahi tahi koe me tētahi hoa hae? Mēnā kua pāngia koe e te hae i roto i ngā whanaungatanga, ka taea e koe te mārama ake ki ō rātou whakaaro.
Mā te whai whakaaro ki tēnei āhuatanga ka āwhina i a koe ki te whakahaere i tō hiahia ki te riri ina pāngia koe e te hae.
6. Hangaia he whakawhirinaki hei whakamutu i te hae i roto i ngā whanaungatanga
Ahakoa kua pāngia koe e te hae i te tīmatanga o te whanaungatanga, i puta mai rānei i tētahi wāhi i te ara, ko te pūtake o tēnei kare ā-roto ko te kore whakawhirinaki. Tērā pea i mahia e tō hoa tētahi mea hei whakakino i tēnei whakawhirinaki. Kei a koe rānei ngā raruraru whakawhirinaki mai i tō mua.
Te hanga whakawhirinaki i roto i tō whanaungatanga he rongoā tino pai mō te hae. Mena he raruraru kāore anō kia whakatauhia e kōrua ko tō hoa, mahi tahi hei rōpū hei whakaoti i aua raruraru, kia taea ai e kōrua te whakawhirinaki tetahi ki tetahi. Ka taea hoki e kōrua te whakaaro ki te whakauru atu ki whakaipoipo faaipoipoMā te arataki me te kupu tohutohu a te kaiwhakaora hinengaro whai raihana ka taea e koe te ārahi i ō mahi ki te huarahi tika.
Mahi ki te whakatipu i a koe anō
Kia mārama koe ki ngā take o te hae i roto i ngā whanaungatanga me ō ake pūtake, ngana ki te tango atu i aua take. I roto i taua tikanga, ka taea hoki e tēnei taniwha kanohi matomato te noho hei kaiako pai. Ka hoatu he whai wāhi ki a koe ki te titiro ki roto me te tūhura i ō ngoikoretanga.
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7. Mahi ki te whakatipu i a koe anō
Hei whakakore i tēnei, me arotahi koe ki te wikitoria i ēnei ngoikoretanga mā te whakatipu i a koe anō. Hei tauira, ki te pāngia koe e te he iti te kiritau, mahi ki te hanga i tō whakapono ki a koe anō. Ka taea e koe te rēhita ki ngā awheawhe, te ako i ngā pūkenga hou, te mahi tahi rānei me tētahi kaitohutohu hei hanga i ngā huringa tika ki tō tirohanga ki a koe anō.
Waihoki, ki te mea ka hae koe i te wehi kei noho mokemoke koe, haere atu ki waho, whakawhanake i tētahi mahi whakangahau, hono atu ki ngā tāngata hou, kimi hoa. Mā te whai i tētahi oranga pāpori āu ake ka mārama koe he aha e hiahia ana tō hoa ki tā rātou anō.
He tokomaha te hunga e whakapoauau ana i te hae hei whakaaturanga o te aroha, ā, ka tukua tonutia tēnei āhuatanga paitini ki te whakararu i ō rātou whanaungatanga.
Nō reira, he tohu aroha te hae? Ka whakautua e mātou taua pātai i roto i ngā kupu a Hato Ākuhataina, "Ko te tangata e hae ana, kāore ia i roto i te aroha." Kāore e taea te noho tahi o te hae me te aroha. Ki te mea e whakanuia ana e koe tō whanaungatanga ki tō hoa, me ako koe ki te whakahaere me te wikitoria i ō hiahia hae.
Mō ētahi atu ataata tohunga, ohauru mai ki tā mātou Hongere Youtube. Pāwhiri ki konei.
FAQs
Ehara te hae i te tohu o te aroha, engari he tohu o te kore whakawhirinaki. Ka whakautua e mātou taua pātai i roto i ngā kupu a Hato Ākuhataina, "Ko te tangata e hae ana, kāore ia i roto i te aroha." Kāore e taea te noho tahi o te hae me te aroha. Ki te mea e whakanuia ana e koe tō whanaungatanga ki tō hoa, me ako koe ki te whakahaere me te wikitoria i ō hiahia hae.
Ko te pūtake o te hae ko te kore whakawhirinaki. Kāore koe i te harikoa kei tua atu i a koe te oranga o tō hoa. Koia koe i kino ai ki ā rāua taunekeneke ki te ira tangata kē, ko koe piripono me te whakahaere.
He pai te hae i roto i ngā whanaungatanga mēnā ka taea e koe te whakamahi i tēnei i runga i te huarahi pai. Hei tauira, mēnā i whiwhi tō hoa i tētahi whakatairanga mahi, ka rua ake tō mahi kia whiwhi ai koe i tētahi. Mēnā he pai ki a ia tētahi kākahu mō tētahi wahine i tētahi pāti, ā, ka miharo ia ki tēnā, ka hoko koe i tētahi mea ōrite, ā, ka miharo ia i tētahi rā.
He kare ā-roto te hae kei roto i a tātou katoa, ā, e kore e taea te karo. Ka pā te hae ki a tātou katoa ina kōrero te hoa. mō tētahi o mua, mō taua wahine ataahua rānei i te wāhi mahi, mō tētahi rānei hoa pai o te tāneEngari ko te āhua o tā tātou whakatau ki te whakahaere i taua hae te mea nui.
Ko te hae nui e tohu ana kāore he mana o tō hoa ki te whakahaere i ōna kare ā-roto, ā, ka tukua e ia tōna koretake ki te whakahaere i tōna ao. Ko te hae nui ki tō hoa he whakamamae i a koe, ā, tera pea ka puta he aituā mō tō kōrua whanaungatanga.
Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
