He mahi nui te whiriwhiri i ngā rinena moenga me ngā mea rino mō tō kīhini – kāore? Kāore tātou e whakaaro rua ki te momo wā e pau ana ki te whiriwhiri i tētahi wāhi hararei ki Ūropi. Me pēhea te whiriwhiri i tētahi reka aihikirīmi? Te āhua nei he mea motuhake kei ia reka. Me pēhea tā tātou whiriwhiri? Ina pau te wā me te kaha ki ēnei whakataunga iti o te ao, kāore e taea te whakaaro māmā ki tētahi mea nui pēnei i te whiriwhiri i te hoa tika mō te marena.
Ahakoa ō mahi katoa, tera pea ka ohorere tātou i te mutunga o aua kōwhiringa, engari kāore e taea te karo i aua kōwhiringa. Ahakoa ō mahi tino pai, he maha ngā mea ka hē wawe tonu i a koe e whiriwhiri ana i tō hoa rangatira. Engari, tera ētahi āhuatanga hei rapu māu i roto i tētahi hoa rangatira, nā te mea ko te whiriwhiri i tō hoa rangatira he whiriwhiri anō hoki i tō heke mai.
Ehara i te mea onge te whai wāhi atu o tētahi whakataunga taumaha ki tētahi tukanga pōrearea, koretake hoki, ā, he pēhanga whānau me ngā whakaaro tere, me te hiahia kia ātaahua, kia 'pai' te āhua o ngā mea katoa. Nā reira, he mea nui ake te āta tirotiro i te wā e whakatau ana i tēnei. Kia mōhio tātou ki ngā mea e tika ana kia mōhio koe i a koe e whiriwhiri ana i te hoa tika mō te marena.
Me pēhea te whiriwhiri i te hoa tika mō te marena?
Ripanga o Ihirangi
I ēnei rā, i roto i te mākete whakaipoipo, he rite tonu te katoa ki te tango i ngā wāhanga tuatahi o te whakaae, o te whakakore rānei. Heoi, he mea nui kia mōhio koe he nui atu tō hoa rangatira i te 'hōiho toa' i roto i tētahi reihi kua whakatau koe ki te peti. Mena me whiriwhiri koe i te tāne tika hei marena, me whiriwhiri rānei i te wahine tika hei marena, me whai whakaaro nui, kāore e taea te tupu me te swipe ki runga i a Tinder.
He tini ngā kiritaki e kite ana ahau e pai ana ki te tākaro me te whakamātautau i te kēmu aroha me te tini o te tangata – tae noa ki te puta o tētahi pakiwaitara i roto i ō rātou hinengaro. Tērā pea ka whakaaro te tangata kei te petipeti rātou i tētahi kōwhiringa ki tētahi atu. Ka taea e te tukanga te whakamataku, te whakaiti hoki. Ka whakamahia te wheako hua hei ārahi i ngā whakatau māia ake ina kimi hoa rangatira.
I roto i te 'rapu mutunga kore' o ēnei rā mō te 'aroha mutunga kore', ehara i te mea onge te whiriwhiri wawe me te whakarerekē i ngā mea katoa. Ko tā tātou e hiahia ana kia pumau ā tātou whakataunga whakamutunga.
Ko te huarahi mohio ki te whiriwhiri i tō hoa rangatira me te whakaaro nui ki tētahi aratohu tohutoro – arā, ngā kaupapa me kōrero mārie koe i mua i te whakatau i tētahi whakatau. He aha ngā pātai hei pātai māu i te wā e whiriwhiri ana i tētahi hoa rangatira, me ngā āhuatanga hoki hei whakaaroaro māu i te wā e whiriwhiri ana i tētahi hoa rangatira. Ka aro nui tēnei tukanga ki te pātai 'me pēhea taku whiriwhiri i tētahi hoa rangatira?', ā, ka āwhina hoki ki te whakatikatika i ō paearu whiriwhiri.
I te wā e rapu ana koe i tētahi hoa mō te marena, ko te mea nui kia maumahara ko te 'harikoa-ā-muri-ake' kāore e taea te whakatutuki i roto i te rā kotahi. Ā, e kore rawa e tutuki mēnā kei te hanga tō whanaungatanga i runga i ngā āhuatanga ōrite pēnei i te reka o te puoro me ngā kai para. Ahakoa he pai katoa ēnei, me maumahara koe ko te whiriwhiri i tō hoa he whiriwhiri anō hoki i tō heke mai. Me aro ki te hototahitanga tino pai, ā, ko ngā āhuatanga hei whakaaro i te wā e whiriwhiri ana i tētahi hoa ora he uaua ake i te "Pizza Hut, Domino rānei?".
Arotahi ki ngā āhuatanga o te hoa rangatira o te ao
Hei tangata, e hiahia ana tātou tetahi ki tetahi, me te mea kei te whāngai tonu tātou tetahi i tetahi. Mēnā he ngākau nui tōu ki te kimi hoa rangatira mō te ora, tera pea ka tūpono koe ki te hē, ki te pekepeke, he mea noa iho tēnā. I a koe e ine ana i ngā rohe o ō moemoeā, o ō tumanako me ō wawata, ka noho te māramatanga hei hoa pai mōu i roto i ngā ngangau me ngā hinganga o te ao.
Nā te mea, ki te pānui koe i tēnei, kua mārama pea koe kāore koe e hiahia ki te 'haere ko koe anake'. Mā te whiriwhiri i te hoa tika mō te marena ka nui te rerekētanga ki te huarahi e anga atu ai koe ki ngā pōrearea me ngā hinganga o te ao. Ahakoa te kī mai a tō aroha kua kitea e koe te hoa tino tika, kotahi marama ki muri, tera pea ka tūtaki koe ki tētahi pire uaua ki te horomia e kī ana kāore pea koe i hanga i te whakatau pai rawa atu.
He maha ngā tūranga ka taea e te hoa rangatira te whakatutuki. Ko te tūranga o te hoa haere i tētahi haerenga roa, ā, he pōhēhē hoki. He hoa whakawhirinaki ka taea e koe te kōrero pono me te kore whakaaro. He hoa pairati ka taea e koe te whakatere i ngā ara pōrearea o te ao. He hoa rangatira ka taea e koe te whakapuaki i ngā maharatanga o ngā wā rerekē. Koia te take e whai hua ai te whiriwhiri i te hoa rangatira tika ki tō oranga.
Ahakoa he mātua, he whakamahere pūtea, he oranga pāpori, he kaumātuatanga rānei, ka mahi tahi kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira hei rōpū i tētahi kaupapa mutunga kore e kīia nei ko 'me pēhea tā tāua e whakatutuki ai i tēnei?'
Nō reira, ina whakaarohia ngā āhuatanga o te hoa rangatira, whakaarohia te roa o tēnei haerenga. He uaua ki te karo i ngā pātai uaua me ngā pono kino o ngā ara tātaritanga maha o te ao.
Ko te mea katoa e whakawhirinaki ana ki te pehea e whiriwhiri ai i te mea te tangata tika hei marenaI roto i te whakatau i taua mea, kotahi anake te mea tino nui – te whakapuaki i tō haerenga ora ki tētahi hoa e kawe mai ana i te harikoa, te tipu, te tumanako me te māramatanga ki a koe, kaua ki tētahi e kawe mai ana i te tawai, te mamae, te pōuri, te mokemoke me te manukanuka ki a koe.
8 Ngā Mea Hei Kōrero I Te Wā E Kōwhiri Ana I Te Hoa Tika Mō Te Marena
He aha ngā āhuatanga hei whakaaroaro māu i te wā e whiriwhiri ana koe i te hoa rangatira tika mō te marena? E tumanakohia ana e te hapori ko tāu whiriwhiri i te hoa rangatira te mutunga o ngā whakatau nui katoa i akohia e koe i tō whakatipuranga. Nō reira, ko te noho tahi me te tokorua te huarahi whakamutunga ki te whakatutuki i ngā mahi whai hua me ngā whai tikanga o tō pakeketanga.
I te mea he nui ngā mea e whakatauhia ana e tātou e whakaata ana i tō tātou āhua noho, he mea nui kia whai whakaaro nui tātou i mua i te whakatau i ngā whakataunga nui. Hei tauira, ki te tūtaki koe ki tētahi i runga ipurangi, me rangahau pai i mua i tō whakaae kia tūtaki kanohi ki a ia. Kātahi ka tūpato ki ngā mea e pā ana ki a ia. hononga whero haki nā te mea ka taea e ēnei mea iti te whakararuraru i te whanaungatanga.
He mea nui te ngāwari o te wairua i te wā e whiriwhiri ana i tō hoa rangatira, nā te mea he mahi tahi, he mahi auau hoki ngā whakatau pai. Engari me pātai tonu i aua pātai nui i mua i tō whakatau whakamutunga. I ētahi wā, ka puta he raruraru i waenganui i ngā hoa e rua nā te rerekētanga o ngā whakaaro tōrangapū. Ina whakaaro koe ki te āhua o tō hoa rangatira, whakaarohia ngā mea iti katoa ka puta he koretake ā muri ake nei.
Kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te whiriwhiri i tētahi hoa rangatira mō te ora? Anei ētahi mea e waru hei kōrero māu ki tētahi i mua i tō whakatau mēnā kei a rātou ngā āhuatanga o tētahi hoa rangatira e rapuhia ana e koe:
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1. He mea nui te kōrero mō te moni ina kimi hoa rangatira
He wāhanga nui te whakaputa taonga, te tipu me te tiaki i te oranga o te tokorua ki te whakamahere i tētahi oranga tahi. Tērā pea he rerekē ngā whakaaro o te tokorua mō ngā mea e hiahiatia ana hei pupuri i te āhua hauora o tētahi pukapuka peeke me tētahi putea haumi. Kia whakaae ki ngā mea e whakaaetia ana whāinga pūtea ā, he kaupapa nui te whakamahinga o te moni, ahakoa he kaupapa tautohenga pea, nā te mea ka whakatata atu te tangata ki te moni me ngā waiaro mātau kāore e taea e rātou te ngāwari.
Mā te pūtea o te whānau e ārai i a rātou mai i ngā āhuatanga maha o te ao. Koia te mea nui o te matapaki i te tirohanga ki te moni ina kimi hoa rangatira koe. He mea nui hoki kia mōhio koe mēnā kei roto i te marena ētahi nama pēnei i ngā nama ākonga, me pēhea hoki te whakatau i muri i te marena.
Ko te whiriwhiri i te hoa tika mō te marena he mea nui anō hoki kia mōhio ai koe mēnā kei te whakaaro tahi kōrua mō ngā tikanga whakapau moni me te penapena, me pēhea hoki e taea ai e koe te tiaki i a koe anō mai i te tinihanga pūtea. Mēnā he tangata whakapau moni nui tō hoa, kāore e whakapono ana ki te toenga putea hauora, ā, e tautoko ana koe i te penapena, me whakaaro koe mēnā kei te whiriwhiri koe i te hoa tika mō te marena i roto i a ia.
2. Arotahi ki ngā uara ina whiriwhiri ana koe i tō hoa rangatira
Ahakoa te āhua nei ehara tēnei i te kaupapa tino māmā hei whiriwhiri māu, he mea nui kia matapakihia ō kaupapa matua, ō kaupapa whaiaro me ō kaupapa whānui. uara whanau. Kei roto i ngā uara te herekoretanga, te ōritetanga, te pono, te mahi uaua, te ngākau pono, te pono, te hapori, te auahatanga, te rangimārie, tae noa ki te ngāwari.
He mea nui kia mōhiotia te maha o ēnei uara e tohaina ana i te wā e whiriwhiri ana i tō hoa rangatira kia mārama ai mēnā he pai kōrua tetahi ki tetahi. Mēnā kei te tautohetohe ō kōrua pūnaha uara – hei tauira, ki te whakaaro ia he pai te tūtaki ki ngā mātua kotahi i te tau i te Kirihimete, ā, ki te whakapono koe me noho ko koe te pūnaha tautoko tonu ki ngā mātua kua kaumātuatia – ka puta pea tēnei he aituā ā muri ake nei.
Ka taea e ngā uara te ārahi i te huarahi e mahi ai koe i ō mahi o ia rā. He pai tāu kōrero ki te katoa, he whakapono rānei koe ki te aroha uaua? Tērā pea kāore i te tino nui te āhua i te tīmatanga, engari me pātai ngā pātai mō ngā uara e puritia ana e tō hoa rangatira ina whiriwhiri ana koe i tētahi hoa.
3. Whakaarohia ngā whāinga mātua ina rapu hoa mō te marena
Ko te whānautanga mai o te tamaiti ki tēnei ao te mutunga o te whanaungatanga. Nō reira, he mea nui kia kōrerohia mēnā e hiahia ana te tangata ki te whai tamariki, āhea, me te tokomaha ina rapu hoa mō te marena. Mā tēnei ka mārama ake te tirohanga a ngā taha e rua ki tēnei kaupapa.
Ka taea e te whakatipu tamariki te noho puku, te noho huna rānei, te noho tuwhera, te noho whānui rānei, kei te āhua o te tamaiti. He aha te tikanga o te whiu? Me pēhea te rongo o te tamaiti i te aroha me te atawhai? Me kōrero koe mō ēnei āhuatanga ki tētahi hoa rangatira i mua i te whakatau.
Kāore e kore ka mahia e koe ētahi nga hapa a nga matua i a koe e haere ana i te haerenga roa hei mātua, engari me mōhio anō hoki koe mēnā ka taea e koe te whakatika i a koe anō me te neke atu, ki te kore ka mutu ka tautohetohe koe mō ngā mea iti. Mēnā kāore kōrua e whakaae ki ngā tikanga mātua, he mea nui tēnei hei whakaaroaro māu i te wā e whiriwhiri ana i tētahi hoa rangatira mō te ora.
4. Me pēhea te whiriwhiri i te tangata tika hei marena? Kōrerohia ō whānau
Ehara i te mea ko tō oranga anake te mea e tohaina ana e te hoa rangatira, engari ko tō hononga ki te hunga i tipu ake ai kōrua. Nō reira, me aromatawai kōrua i te whakamarie, i te āwangawanga rānei o tētahi ki tētahi i te taha o te hunga whai tikanga. Mā tēnei ka āwhina i a kōrua ki te kimi i ngā huarahi pai hei whakatipu i te aroha, te noho pūmau me te ngākau pai.
Ki te mea kei te ngaro koe i te mōhio me pēhea te whiriwhiri i te tangata tika hei marena māu, mā te arotahi ki ō rātou whakaaro mō ngā whānau ka mārama ake ai koe. Kua pāngia ētahi tāngata e tēnei nga matua paitini ā, kei roto i ō rātou whanaungatanga taua paitini, engari e hiahia ana ētahi tāngata ki te whakatika i ngā hapa kino i mahia e ō rātou mātua, me te hiahia hoki ki te whakarerekē i ngā hapa i tō rātou tamarikitanga.
I ētahi wā, ka puta te whakaaro he tamaiti kotahi koe. Ahakoa ehara rātou i te tangata kino, me mōhio koe ki te āhua o te whanaungatanga tetahi ki tetahi. Mā te āhua o tō rātou piripono ki ō rātou mātua me ō rātou whānau ka kitea te āhua o tō heke mai me rātou. Nā wai i mōhio ko te whakautu ki te pātai 'me pēhea te whiriwhiri i te tangata tika hei marena' ka kitea pea i roto i te āhua o te taunekeneke a tō hoa rangatira me tō rātou whānau?
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5. Kōrerohia te wikitoria me te hinganga hei aromatawai i ngā āhuatanga o te hoa rangatira o te ao
Me kimi e te tokorua te kotahitanga me te māramatanga i roto i ngā wā uaua o te ao pēnei i te koroheketanga, ngā raruraru mahi, ngā raruraru hinengaro me ngā raruraru hauora. Nō reira, me pātai koe ki tētahi hoa pea he aha te tikanga o te wikitoria, te hinganga rānei ki a rāua.
Ki ētahi, he rite te wikitoria ki te kore e hē, ki ētahi atu, he rite ki te herekore me te harikoa. Tērā pea ka kite ētahi i te hinganga he ngaronga mana. Ki ētahi atu, he ngaronga whakapono.
Ko te piripono ki te kore e hē, me te whakaaro kia toa ahakoa te aha, he āhuatanga tino pai tēnei hei karo i roto i te hoa. Ka taea e te wawata me te hihiri o ēnei tāngata te huna i ō rātou whanaungatanga me ō rātou hoa. ngā whāinga a te tokorua ā, tera pea ngā moemoeā e pupuhi, e pakaru rānei pērā i te tai, engari ko te mea e toe ana ko te tirohanga mārama ki te takutai.
Ko te nui o tā kōrua kōrero mō te hototahitanga o kōrua, ka pai ake ai tō kōrua pūkenga ki te whiriwhiri i te hoa tika mō te marena. I te mutunga, ehara te marena i te mea he rite noa iho ō kōrua i runga i te pepa, engari he herenga pumau mō te wā roa e hiahia ana kia tino hototahi i ngā āhuatanga katoa o tō kōrua ao.
6. Kōrerohia te whakapai ake me te tipu hei whiriwhiri i tō hoa rangatira me te whakaaro nui
Aromātaihia mēnā kei te whakapau kaha kōrua ko te tangata ki te whakauru i ngā tirohanga hou ki roto i ngā haerenga a tētahi ki tētahi mō tōna oranga katoa. Ka tere te tawhito o ngā mea. Ko te pono o te kaupapa ki te mahi mataara, te tere me te aro ki te tipu te mea e pupuri ana i te aroha o te tokorua tetahi ki tetahi.
He aha te hiranga o tēnei? Kua rite kē te tangata e whakaarohia ana e koe hei hoa rangatira mō tēnei? Kōrerohia. Ka mutu te kimi whakaaro hou, ngā whainga hou, me ngā tirohanga hou ina mutu te tokorua kaua e whakahawea tetahi ki tetahi.
Ka taea e ēnei momo whakaaro kua whakaharatauhia te whakararuraru i te whanaungatanga. He mea nui kia kite i te huringa hei wāhanga nui o te pupuri i te aroha tetahi ki tetahi i muri i te mate o te mura tuatahi. Tirohia hoki ngā whakaaro ki ngā mea pēnei i te wahine e whiwhi moni nui ana i roto i te whanaungatanga, te whiwhi whakatairanga me te pikinga utu pai ake rānei, e tuwhera ana rātou ki te whakaaro?
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7. Me pēhea taku whiriwhiri i tētahi hoa rangatira mō te ao? Tūhurahia te ngākau nui e hono ana ki a koe
Ka hohoro te noho o te tokorua kāore he ngākau nui hei tokorua kāore he kaupapa. Ka tino pai te tangata ina auaha ana, ā, e akiakihia ana e te ngākau nui. He aha te take e tika ai tēnei? He momo tangata matatau, he momo urutau hoki tātou.
Ko ngā ngākau nui me ngā kaupapa ngātahi ka noho hei mana here e e hono ana i te tokorua i te taha hinengaroKa hoatu hoki ki a rātou te whakaaro o te hanga tahi i tētahi mea e toro atu ana ki tua atu i ngā kaha o te whakatipu tamariki, o te noho tahi rānei i ngā mahi pēnei i ngā pire, te horoi kakahu me ngā utu hoko kai. He mea tino nui te tirotiro i ngā hiahia ōrite hei whiriwhiri i te hoa rangatira tika mō te marena.
He aha te mea e tino tautuhi ana i a kōrua hei hoa rangatira? Tērā pea he mea ka akohia e kōrua ki te mahi tahi pērā i te tunu kai, te kanikani, te tākaro kēmu papa rānei. Ina whakatūria he hononga mā te ngākau nui tahi, ka mōhio kōrua kei te whiriwhiri kōrua i te hoa tika mō te marena.
Ko te ngākau nui ngātahi he huarahi hei whakamahara tetahi ki tetahi 'tērā te TĀTOU, ā, tērā anō te AU' – he mea e warewarehia ana e te nuinga o ngā whanaungatanga.
8. Ko te mea nui, kōrerohia te tikanga o te aroha
He ahua rapunga whakaaro tēnei? He rerekē ngā huarahi e whakapuakina ai e ngā tāne me ngā wāhine tō rātou ngākau aroha me te ngākau aroha. He aha tā te hoa rangatira e tumanako ana mai i a koe kia arohaina koe? He kupu whakaū, he pā tinana, he koha, he mahi āwhina, he wā kounga rānei? Mai i ngā pātai hei pātai māu i te wā e whiriwhiri ana i te hoa rangatira, koinei pea te mea nui rawa atu.
Ko te tokorima nga reo aroha he mea noa, engari ko te mea onge ko te kōrero i waenganui i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e mārama ana te whakautu i te pātai 'he aha tā kōrua e hiahia ana mai i ahau kia arohaina ai kōrua'. Kāore e taea e te nuinga o te tangata te pānui i te hinengaro o te hoa, te ine rānei i te hiahia me te kore ētahi o ō rātou ake whakaaro me ā rātou kaupapa e whakamārama ana i te whakamaoritanga.
Koia te take he raruraru pea te koretake o te whakaaro. Ko te tumanako, ko te whakapuakitanga o te aroha te otinga o te mōhio ki te āhua me te kaha e tika ana mōna.
Me aroha me te whakaute Ki te kore, e kore rawa te aroha e puāwai. I a koe e whiriwhiri ana i te hoa rangatira tika mō te marena, me whakarite kia rite te ngāwari o te whakaute ki a rāua, pērā i te aroha. Kaua e wehi i ēnei 'kōrero kaha' ina kite koe kei te piki haere te kaha o tō kōrua whanaungatanga. Mā te kōrero mō 'te āhua o tō kōrua hononga' me te haerenga tahi ka tāpirihia te kaha me te māramatanga ki tētahi oranga ka tohaina pea e kōrua.
Ko te whiriwhiri i te hoa tika he whakatau e rapua ana e ētahi tāngata te harikoa i kitea e rātou i roto i ngā kiriata pukuhohe i runga i te mata nui. Whakaroahia te tukanga, whakaarohia ā mātou pātai hei pātai māu i te wā e whiriwhiri ana koe i tētahi hoa ora. Mena kei te ngaro tonu koe i te huarahi e whiriwhiri ai koe i tō hoa ora, whakaarohia te whaikōrero i mua i te mārenatanga kia mārama ai. Ko o maatau tohunga Ka taea e te awhina.
8 Ngā Tohu o te Huna o te Whakahē i te Tangata me te Āhua o te Urupare
Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
