Ko te hae i roto i te whanaungatanga he tohu i ēnei mea e iwa: Te tirohanga a te tohunga

Porohia te aroha

Ko te hae nui — he nui rawa atu rānei i ētahi wā — te mea e tino whakahihiri ai te mātakitaki i aua kiriata aroha. E ai ki ngā kōrero a te mata nui, ko te hae i roto i te whanaungatanga he tohu i ngā raruraru whakawhirinaki, ā, ka mutu, ka arahi ki te pakanga nui. Engari nā te mea kāore te ao e mahi pērā, ehara i te mea ngāwari ki te mārama ki tēnei kare ā-roto uaua.

He tohu aroha te hae? He tohu noa iho rānei mō ngā raruraru whakawhirinaki? Ka taea te whakapūmau ki tētahi take, he maha rānei ngā mea me pānui e koe ināianei?

Kāore e hiahiatia kia nui rawa te keri hohonu hei kimi i te pūtake o te hae. Ina koa kua kawea mai e mātou he tohunga hinengaro tohutohu. Shazia Saleem (Tohu Paerua i roto i te Hinengaro), he tohunga ki te kaunihera mō te wehenga me te whakarere, hei āwhina i a tātou ki te whakamōhio mai i ngā mea katoa e tika ana kia mōhiotia mō tēnei kino e tika ana.

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Ripanga o Ihirangi

He kōrero ngāwari noa iho te uaua o tēnei kare ā-roto. I tētahi taha, e mōhio ana tātou katoa he kare ā-ao whānui tēnei, ā, kua pā ki a tātou katoa i tētahi wā. He maha ngā mahi rotarota me ngā mahi whakaari kua ahu mai i tēnei kare ā-roto. Kua whakaahuatia e te Atua ia anō he "Atua hae", ā, ka hae tō kurī ina mirimiri koe i tētahi atu kurī i mua i a ia.

Engari i tētahi atu taha, he kare ā-roto e whakahaweatia ana. I ētahi wā, ki te tohu te hae me te kore māia i ngā raruraru hohonu ake i roto i te whanaungatanga, i roto rānei i te whakaaro o te tangata, tera pea he take hei āwangawanga.

Nā, me pēhea rā te huarahi e taea ai e tātou te whakatere i tētahi mea noa engari ka āhua pōuriuri koe i te wā tonu ka whakaae koe kei te pāngia koe e te hae? He aha te tohu o te hae, ā, he mea noa rānei kei roto i tētahi whanaungatanga?

Ehara i te mea ngāwari ki te wawahi me te kimi he aha te hae i roto i te whanaungatanga he tohu pea tēnei mō te āhua o ia āhuatanga. Me ngana tātou ki te hura i te take i pātai kinotia ai koe e tō hoa, "I hea koe? Kei te aro kore mai koe ki ahau?" i a kōrua e haere ana ki waho mō ētahi haora.

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1. He aha te tohu o te hae? Ae, ko te mana pupuri

Āe, me mutu tēnei i te tuatahi. He rerekē te pūtake o te hae i ia tangata, ā, ko te pupuri i te mana o te tangata pea te take i ētahi wā.

Hatia e whakamārama ana me pēhea te whakamaoritanga tino noa o te hae me te kore whakawhirinaki ki te kaupapa matua. "He maha ngā wā, he tūmomo whakamataku me ngā mataku ā-roto tō te tangata, ka ārahi pea i a rātou ki te whakapono mēnā kāore rātou e mahi i tēnā tiaki tō rātou hoa rangatira, ka waihotia rātou ki te puehu.

"Nā te mea he uaua ki te mārama ki ngā kōrero a ō kare ā-hae, ka ngana rātou ki te whakahaere i tō rātou taiao o waho, ā, he maha ngā wā ka hua ake he tangata tiaki, he tangata whai rawa rānei. I te mutunga iho, ko te mea nui ko te raruraru kare ā-roto kāore anō kia whakatauhia i roto i te hinengaro, i te tauira whakaaro rānei o te tangata."

2. Ko te hae i roto i te whanaungatanga he tohu i te momo piri āwangawanga

te te ariā o ngā momo piri e kōrero mai ana ki a tātou te whanonga a te tangata i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga me te take i pērā ai rātou, ā, ko tētahi momo whanonga ko te "manukanuka-āwangawanga", e puta pinepine ana i te whanaungatanga o te tangata ki tōna kaitiaki matua.

Kāore au i whakaaro ka hoki anō tātou ki tō tamarikitanga, āe? Ko te pono, ko te hunga e whakawhanake ana i tēnei momo piripono he mātua ruarua ō rātou, kāore pea i te tino maia ki tā rātou mahi. Tērā pea i wātea rātou i ētahi wā, ā, i ētahi wā ka ngaro.

Nā reira, ka piripono te tangata, ka hiahia nui, ka manukanuka hoki mō te hauora o ngā whanaungatanga aroha a meake nei ka uru atu rātou. I ētahi wā, ka taea e te tangata te whakawhanake i tēnei momo piripono ahakoa tō rātou tamarikitanga.

3. He mea noa te hae i roto i te whanaungatanga? Ae ra, tera pea

"He kare ā-roto noa te hae," te kī a Shazia, me te tāpiri atu, "Mō ngā whakatipuranga kua pahure ake nei, kua kīia mai ki a tātou kia pehi i ngā kare ā-roto katoa e tohu ana i te kore ā-pūmau. Kāore tātou e mōhio me pēhea te whakapuaki i a tātou anō i roto i te huarahi e whakaaetia ana, e tika ana rānei."

"Nō reira, ina tīmata te tangata ki te whakaatu i ō rātou hae i roto i ngā huarahi rerekē, koinā te wā e whakahaweatia ai te hae hei mea kino. Ki te whakahaeretia pai te hae, ki te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero pai, ā, ki te whakahaeretia hoki i runga i te pai, ka mōhio koe ehara i te mea e tohu ana i te whakangaromanga o tōu ake āhua."

Ko te whakaaro whānui ko te hae i roto i te whanaungatanga he tohu i tētahi mea kino. Engari kaua e whakakorekore noa i tō hoa, ngana ki te rapu i te take o taua kare ā-roto i mua i te whakapouri i tō hoa.

4. He tohu pea tēnei i te whanaungatanga e whakawhirinakihia ana

E ai ki rangahau, he nui ngā kare ā-roto o te hae e tumanakohia ana i roto i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e whakawhirinaki ana tetahi ki tetahi. Ae, ko te noho i roto i te whare, e rāhuitia ana i roto i te rūma me tetahi ki tetahi, tera pea he āhua pai, engari i muri i tētahi wā, ka kore te te wāhi whaiaro i roto i tō whanaungatanga he pono ka rua te roa o ō haerenga ki te wharepaku i tō mua.

Tērā pea he tohu te whakawhirinakitanga o tētahi ki tētahi mō te korenga o te tipu whaiaro, ngā raruraru whakawhirinaki, me ngā arai whakawhitiwhiti kōrero. He tohu aroha te hae ina kore e taea e te tangata e arohaina ana e koe te tuku i a koe kia ngaro atu i tōna tirohanga mō ngā haora e rua? He rite tonu tēnā ki a Guantanamo, kaua ki te aroha, ki te pātai mai koe ki a mātou.

5. Tērā pea nā te koretake o te whanaungatanga

He aha te āhua o te hae? He rite tonu ki te wairua tino mōrearea e kī ana kei te mōrearea tonu te hononga o tō hoa rangatira, nā te mea ka akiaki pea rātou e te hunga katoa e kōrero ana ki a rātou kia mawehe atu i a koe. Ā, he aha te take e whakaaro ai te tangata pēnā? Nā te mea e whakaaro ana rātou kāore rātou i te pai mō tā rātou hoa rangatira.

E ai ki rangahau, te whakaaro kāore koe i te pai mō tō hoa, te whakaaro he pai ake rātou i a koe, me te whakaaro he pai ake rātou i a koe i te hunga e kōrero ana rātou, ka puta pea ngā kare ā-roto hae nui.

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Nō reira, he mea nui kia ngana koe ki te rapu i te āhua o ō kare hae e pā ana ki a koe. Ko te tere o tō mōhio he iti iho tōu kounga, ko te tere hoki o tō whakatikatika i a koe anō. Hei tāpiri, ko te whakamarie i a koe e tō hoa mā ngā mea katoa e pai ana ki a ia mōu ka taea te whakanui ake i tō whakapono ki a koe anō.

6. Ko te hae me te kore whakawhirinaki he tohu ki te iti o te whakaaro ki a koe anō

Kāore mātou e tino hiahia ana rangahau ki te tohu ko te hae i roto i te whanaungatanga he tohu i te nuinga o te wā te iti o te whakaaro ki a koe anō i roto i tō hoaKo te nuinga o ngā wā, ko te iti o te whakaaro ki a ia anō te take o te koretake o te pūkenga, he mea whakarihariha pea tēnei mō te hoa e kore e kite he aha te take e kore ai e taea e tā rātou hoa hae te whakaaro nui ake ki a ia anō.

He maha ngā wā ka taea e te hae te tohu i te maha o ngā mea

"Ko te tangata e kore e māia, ka whakaititia ia, ka whakaititia hoki tōna tuakiri. Kāore ia i te tino mōhio he aha i puta ai ēnei kare ā-roto, ā, kāore e taea e ia te whanonga tika ina tae mai ēnei kare ā-roto," te kī a Shaiza.

"Ko te mea nui e akiaki ana i te hae e kapi ana i te koretake o te whakaaro, ko te ngana a ēnei tāngata ki te whakahaere i ngā āhuatanga o waho kāore e tika ana kia whai mana whakahaere rātou, pērā i te tangata e kōrerohia ana e tā rātou hoa," tāna tāpiri.

7. Ka taea te hono atu ki te hinengaro pōrearea o te tangata

Āe, he rawe, he nui ake ngā akoranga hinengaro. Kaua e manukanuka, ehara i te mea uaua ki te mārama. He kupu whakarite noa iho tēnei mō te kī ko te āhua manukanuka me te ruarua o te tangata ka ārahi i a ia ki te whakawhanake i ngā kare ā-haehae i roto i ngā whanaungatanga aroha.

E ai ki rangahau, ko te hunga whai āhua hinengaro pōrearea (he wāhanga tēnei o ngā momo āhua tangata nui e rima), he nui ake te hae. Nā te mea he maha ngā wā ka raru ēnei tāngata i ngā wā manukanuka, pouri rānei, he tino āwhina te rapu āwhina i tētahi kaiārahi.

8. Kei reira anō te hae hauora

"Ki te ngana tetahi ki te takaro ki tō hoa, ā, he nui ake te aro o tō hoa ki a ia i tō hiahia, he mārama kei te hae koe. Tērā pea kua tata rawa atu tō hoa ki tētahi atu tangata, ā, he nui ake āna mea ngaro e whakapuakina ana ki a ia i a koe," te kōrero a Shazia ki a tātou.

Na, ko hae hauora he tohu aroha anō hoki? I ētahi wā kāore i te tino nui rawa hei whakapōrearea, ā, he hua nō te kore e hiahiatia e tō hoa, he tohu aroha pea. He aroha hae, engari he aroha tonu.

Mō ētahi atu ataata tohunga, ohauru mai ki tā mātou Hongere Youtube. Pāwhiri ki konei.

9. I ētahi wā, he tohu noa iho pea tēnei o te pōhēhētanga

"Ka puta te hae nā te mea kāore te tangata i te tino mōhio ki ngā kare ā-roto," te kī a Shazia, me te tāpiri atu, "He kare ā-roto tino uaua. I te nuinga o te wā, he tohu tēnei kāore e taea e te tangata te mārama ki ō rātou ake kare ā-roto, ki ō rātou tauira whakaaro rānei. Ko te hae me te kore whakawhirinaki i roto i te whanaungatanga ka puta mai i te maha o ngā take, i ngā āhuatanga rānei."

I roto i ēnei āhuatanga, ko te mea pai pea ko te rapu awhina i tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro ngaio hei āwhina i tētahi tangata ki te whakahaere i aua kare ā-roto. Mena he awhina tēnei e rapu ana koe, kia mōhio koe ko te rōpū kaiwhakaora hinengaro mātau o Bonobology he pāwhiri atu.

Nā te mea kua mōhio koe ki te tikanga o te hae i roto i te whanaungatanga, ko te tumanako ka taea e koe te whakatata atu ki te whakatika i ngā kare ā-roto kino e puta ai te hae. Kāore he mea e kore e taea e te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero hauora, kore whakahē. Ā, i a koe e mahi ana, ngana ki te awhi i ngā wā katoa. Te āhua nei he pai tonu te mahi.

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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.