15 Ngā Tohu Kāore tō hoa wahine e Aroarohia Ana e te Ira Tangata

Porohia te aroha

He mea whakararuraru ngā tohu kāore tō hoa wahine e aro nui ana ki a koe, ehara i te mea nā te kore o te whanaungatanga piripono ka taea te whakararu i te tawhiti, engari nā te mea hoki ka tohu pea kua tīmata ia ki te ngaro i te hiahia ki te whanaungatanga. Mō ngā wāhine, he hononga tata ngā taha kare ā-roto me ngā taha tinana o te hononga aroha. Kāore e taea e tetahi te noho me te kore tetahi.

Ina kite koe i ngā tohu o te hiahia ā-ira tangata mai i tō hoa wahine, ehara i te mea ko tōna hiahia tinana anake e puta mai ana, engari ko tōna hononga kare ā-roto ki a koe anō hoki. I tētahi atu taha, ina ngaro atu ēnei tohu, ina kore rānei e kitea i te tīmatanga, ka taea e koe te tino mōhio kei te raru te rangi. Engari he aha te āhua o ēnei tohu? Ki te whakakahoretia e tō hoa wahine ō hiahia ā-ira tangata i ētahi wā, ko te tikanga kua ngaro te hiahia ā-ira tangata? Ā, mehemea kāore tōna hiahia ā-ira tangata e rite ki tōu?

I te mea ka piki haere te piki me te heke o ngā homoni o te tinana o ngā wāhine i ia marama, ehara i te mea rerekē, i te mea rānei e āwangawanga ai ngā panonitanga o te hiahia moepuku me ngā mahi. Heoi, ki te mau tonu tēnei kore hiahia, me aro nui koe. Kei konei ahau hei āwhina i a koe ki te tautuhi i te wā e ngaro ai te hiahia o tō hoa wahine i te kore hiahia ki te moepuku, e tautokona ana e ngā tirohanga a ētahi tohunga ira tangata me ngā tohunga whanaungatanga rongonui.

15 Ngā Tohu Kāore tō hoa wahine e Aroarohia Ana e te Ira Tangata

Ripanga o Ihirangi

E kōrero ana ahau i runga i aku wheako ina kī atu ahau ko ngā tohu kāore tō hoa wahine e aro nui ana ki a koe he tohu mō ngā wā raruraru o te whanaungatanga. I mua ko au taua hoa wahine. Ko te ngenge o te kare ā-roto i te noho hei kaiwhiwhi o ngā pakanga tonu, karanga-ingoa, te whakapae, me te inu waipiro a taku hoa, i āta neke atu ai ahau, i muri i te iti. Ko ngā kare mahana, ngā kare pōuri katoa i pā ki ahau mōna i whakakapia ki te kore noa iho.

I te tīmatanga o te memeha haere o ōku kare ā-roto, ka memeha haere hoki tōku hiahia ki te piripono ki taku hoa. E ai ki taku kōrero i mua, mō ngā wāhine, ehara i te mea ko te kukume i te moepuku, engari ko te kukume i te aroha. Ka whakakaha tetahi i tetahi. Koia te take, ki te kore e tino whakahihiri te moepuku ki te hoa wahine i ngā rā tata nei, me hohonu ake te rapunga atu mō te take. He pai te tīmatanga mā te aro ki ngā tohu kua ngaro te piripono nā te mea kua kore tō hoa wahine e aro ki a koe:

Te pānui e pā ana: Kia pēhea te roa o te noho kore moe i roto i te whanaungatanga?

1. Te whakaiti i te mahi moepuku

Ki te iti haere te moe tāne me te hoa wahine, koinei pea te tohu tuatahi kei te hē tetahi mea. E ai ki te tohunga ira tangata me te tohunga whanaungatanga, ki a Tākuta Nikki Goldstein, "He hekenga ohorere o te moe tāne, me te te kore korero mō taua mea, he tohu pea kua kore ia e rongo i taua hononga ā-ira ki a koe.”

Ināianei, he maha ngā wā maroke ka pā ki ia whanaungatanga. Ko ngā mahi pukumahi, ngā taumahatanga kei raro, ngā take kāore anō kia whakatauhia, me ngā huringa homoni ētahi o ngā āhuatanga ka whakaiti i te hiahia o tō hoa wahine ki te moe tāne. I te nuinga o te wā, ka memeha atu ēnei mahi ina whakatauhia te take matua. Heoi, ki te mea kua noho te whakaiti i te moe tāne hei mea noa, tera pea ko tētahi o ngā tohu kei te ngaro te hiahia o tō hoa wahine.

2. Ngā take hei karo i te whanaungatanga piripono

ngā tohu e ngaro ana te hiahia o tō hoa wahine — Ka whakamahia e ia ngā take hei pana atu i a koe

E mea ana a Tākuta Laura Berman, he kaiwhakaora whanaungatanga, he kaiwhakaako moepuku hoki, "Ina ngaro te hiahia o te wahine ki te moepuku, ka tīmata pea ia ki te te karo i te whanaungatanga ā-tinana, tae atu ki ngā mea ngāwari pēnei i te pā atu, te kihi rānei nā te mea he mea akiaki, he mea whakamā rānei.” I taua wā anō, tērā pea kāore ia e pai ki te whakapuaki i tōna whakaaro ki a koe, ā, nō reira, he maha tonu āna whakamārama hei karo i te piripono, pēnei i:

Kua ngenge rawa ahau
He nui rawa te ahotea o taku hinengaro
Kua pakaru ahau
Kāore au i te pai te āhua
He ata wawe tōku āpōpō
Me moe ahau

3. Kāore ia e tīmata i te moe tāne

I tuhituhi a Toby, he tohunga hokohoko nō Delaware, ki a Bonobology, me te pātai, "Kāore taku hoa wahine e neke atu i te nekeneke ki ahau. Neke atu i te ono marama māua e noho tahi ana, ā, i roto i tēnei wā, kāore ia i tīmata i te moepuku, i whakaatu rānei i te hiahia ki te noho tahi. Kei ahau anake te kawenga, ā, e whakaaro ana ahau mēnā kei te takaro noa ia i tana whakaae nā te mea kāore ia e hiahia ki te whakahē i ahau. Mena koinā, he aha te take? E aroha ana taku hoa wahine ki ahau, kāore rānei? He nui rawa taku whakaaro ki tēnei āhuatanga?"

Ahakoa he maha ngā wāhine e āwangawanga ana ki te tīmata i te taatai, inā koa i te tīmatanga o te whanaungatanga, ka kitea e rātou he huarahi ngawari pēnei i te takaro pōwhiri, te whakamahi rānei i te tono. reo tinana hei whakaatu i ō rātou hiahia. He tohu kino te kore rawa o te hiahia ki te taatai.

"Ko tētahi tohu matua o te memeha haere o te hiahia moepuku ko te mutu o te tīmatanga o te moepuku a tō hoa, te kore rānei e aro mai ina mahi koe. Kāore te hiahia ki te hono atu ki te tinana i reira."
—Dr. Ian Kerner, kaiwhakaora moepuku

4. Te whakahē pinepine i ngā tono whakamua

Ae, tera pea ētahi wā ka hiahia koe ki te noho piripono, engari kāore ia e hiahia, me te ritenga kē. He mea tino noa tēnā mō ngā whanaungatanga katoa. Heoi, ki te mea ia e whakakahore ana i ō tono whakamua E waru i roto i te tekau ngā wā, ā, ina whakaae ia ki te piripono, e rite ana ki te mahi atawhai ia ki a koe, he tohu mārama tēnei kāore tō hoa wahine e hiahia ana ki a koe.

5. Kāore ia e pai ki te moe tahi me koe

I te tīmatanga o te raruraru i roto i taku whanaungatanga o mua, ka whakahē ahau ki te whakaaro kia noho ki te kāinga o taku hoa tāne, kia waiho rānei ia kia noho ki taku hoa tāne mō te pō. Ka tīmata ahau ki te whakarite i ā māua rā kia māmā ake ai te poroporoaki me te haere. Ahakoa i te wā e noho tahi ana māua i tētahi o ō māua wāhi, ka whakapau kaha ahau ki te karo i te moe i te pō, me te whakamahi i tētahi whakamārama ka puta mai i ahau.

"I mahue taku pona ki te kāinga, ā, me whakaoti e au tētahi whakaaturanga"
"Ki taku whakaaro he nui ngā kākahu i mahue i ahau i roto i te mīhini. Kāore e taea te waiho noa iho i reira mō te pō"
"I oati ahau ki te tiaki i te kurī a taku hoa"

Mena kei te pā mai tētahi āhuatanga ōrite i roto i tō kōrua whanaungatanga, ahakoa rānei ka karohia e tō hoa wahine te pā tata ki a koe i runga i te moenga, he tohu pea tēnei mō te āwangawanga o te korenga o te kukume ā-ira tangata i roto i te whanaungatanga.

Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te whakatau i te whakakorenga ā-ira tangata mai i tō hoa – 9 ngā tohutohu

6. Kore hiahia ki te takaro

Ko ngā tohu o te kukume i te taatai i roto i te whanaungatanga he nui atu i te mahi tūturu o te moepuku. Ka kitea hoki ēnei i roto i,

te uatoko o
Te whanonga takaro
Te whakatoi me te kōrero whakakatakata

Ki te ngaro ēnei, ko tētahi o ngā tohu tino pono kua ngaro te whanaungatanga piripono i roto i tō kōrua hononga. Ki te kore tō hoa wahine e pai ki te kōrero whakaipoipo ki a koe ahakoa i roto i ō kōrua wā tūmataiti, he take nui tō manukanuka.

7. Reo tinana kati

ngā tohu kua ngaro te whanaungatanga piripono — Mā tōna reo tinana ia e ahua uaua ki te whakatata atu

Ko te nuinga o ngā tohu o te hiahia ā-ira i waenganui i te tokorua ka kitea i roto i ō rāua reo tinana. Kei roto i ēnei ko:

E okioki ana
Te toronga kanohi roa
Te ataata
Te ngati
Te pupuri i te tata tinana

I tētahi atu taha, ko te whakawhiti ringa, te tahuri atu, me te pupuri i te tawhiti he tohu kāore te tangata e hiahia ana ki te noho tata, ki te noho piripono rānei ki a koe. Mena kua kite koe i tētahi panonitanga o te reo tinana o tō hoa wahine, inā koa i roto i ō kōrua wā tūmataiti, wā piripono rānei—hei tauira, ki te piko koe ki te kihi i a ia, kaua ki te piko ki a koe, ka hoki whakamuri ia—he mea rongonui tēnei. ngā tohu e ngaro ana te hiahia o tō hoa wahine.

8. Te karo i te titiro kanohi i te wā e piripono ana

Ko te karo i te titiro kanohi i te wā e piripono ana koe he tohu kua kore tō hoa wahine e pai ki ēnei wā piripono ki a koe nā te mea kāore ia e rongo i tētahi hononga, i tētahi hononga rānei. kei te huri ōna kare ā-roto mōuE mea ana te tohunga hinengaro haumanu a Tākuta Alexandra Soloman, "Tērā pea ka whakaatuhia tēnei e te hoa wahine kua kore e arohia e te hiahia ā-ira tangata mā roto i ngā tohu ngawari, pērā i te karo i te titiro kanohi i ngā wā piripono, te āhua rānei kua wehea ia i te wā e moe ai." Ka taea e tēnei te waiho i a koe kia whakaaro, "E aroha ana taku hoa wahine ki ahau?"

Te pānui e pā ana: Te Aromatawai i te Tirohanga Kanohi: He aha te Āwhina ki te Hanga Hononga?

9. Kāore ia e mihi ana ki a koe

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu e warewarehia ana e kore tō hoa wahine e aro nui ki a koe, ko te kore e tino mihi ki a koe mō tō āhua, e whakaatu rānei i tōna maioha mā te Tuhinga o mua ngā nekehanga tinana rānei pēnei i te kihi i a koe nā te mea he tino ātaahua tō āhua, te piko rānei ki te awhi kia rongo ai i ō puku kua whakakorikorihia e koe.

"Ki te mutu tana mihi ki a koe, ki te kore rānei e kite i a koe e ngana ana kia ātaahua tō āhua, he tohu pea tēnā kua memeha haere tōna hiahia moepuku."
—Takuta Terri Orbuch, kaiako hononga

10. Te tawhiti o te kare ā-roto

Ki te hoki whakamuri ki te kōrero mō te kukume i te moepuku me te wheako kukume aroha mō ngā wāhine, he maha ngā wā ka hono te tawhiti o ngā kare ā-roto me te kore kukume moepuku. E whakamārama ana te tohunga hinengaro haumanu me te kaiwhakaora moepuku a Tākuta David Schnarch, "Te tawhiti kare-a-roto he maha ngā wā i mua i te ngaronga o te hiahia moepuku. Mena kei te wehe atu tō hoa i ngā kare ā-roto, he tohu nui pea tēnei kei te memeha haere te hiahia moepuku.”

11. Te hoha i te wā e piripono ana

"Ki te mea kei te ahua kore hiahia tō hoa wahine i te wā e moe ai, ki te mea rānei he rite tonu te whanaungatanga ki tētahi mahi noa iho, kaua ki tētahi hononga whakahihiri, tera pea he tohu tēnei kei te kore koe e hiahia ki te moepuku," te kī a te kaiwhakaora moepuku a Tākuta Holly Richmond. Mā tēnei ahua o te kore hiahia ka āhua tata hoha ia, ka tere pea te mahi, ka tatari rānei kia mutu.

E kī ana a Ray, he tauira kua puta i te whare wānanga, "Kua noho ahau i roto i te hononga pumau mai i te tau tuatahi o te kāreti. Heoi, mai i tā māua putanga mai, te āhua nei kua rerekē tetahi mea i roto i ō māua whanaungatanga. Kāore taku hoa wahine e nekeneke mai ki ahau i ēnei rā. Ahakoa ka piri tahi māua, he noho puku tonu ia. Kāore e taea e au te whakakore i te whakaaro kua ngaro tana aroha engari kāore anō kia kitea he huarahi hei kōrero mai ki ahau.”

Te pānui e pā ana: Te Hoha i roto i te Hononga - 11 Ngā Huarahi hei Kaua e Tukua kia Tupu

12. He pai ake ki a ia te noho ko ia anake

Ina kore tō hoa wahine e aro atu ki a koe, i te taha o te ira tangata, i te taha wairua hoki, ka kite tonu koe i te rerekētanga nui o tō whakaaro ki a koe me te whanaungatanga. Ko te kotiro i hiahia ki a koe i mua, ā, kāore e ngaro i a ia tetahi whai wāhitanga ki te whakapau i a ia anō. wā kounga ka tīmata whakarere ia ki te hiahia ki te noho ko ia anake, ki te haere tahi rānei me ngā hoa.

13. Ka karo i te pā atu ki te tinana

te kukume ā-ira me te kukume aroha — Ka tīmata te ngaro o ngā whakaaturanga ā-tinana o te aroha i roto i tō kōrua whanaungatanga

Ka kitea te korenga o te kukume i te moepuku i tua atu i ngā āhuatanga o tō oranga moepuku. Ko tētahi tauira ko te tīmatanga o tana karo i te pa tinana o tetahi momo, ahakoa e pupuri ana i tō ringa, e awhi ana i a koe i a koe e mātaki ana i tētahi kiriata, e mirimiri aroha ana rānei i ō makawe. E tautoko ana te tohunga hinengaro a Tākuta Tammy Nelson i tēnei tirohanga, e kī ana, "Ko ngā wāhine kāore e aro nui ana ki ō rātou hoa, tera pea ka kore e aro ki te pā atu, ā, ka karo i te noho tata, i te taha tinana me te taha hinengaro."

14. Kāore e aro ki ngā nekehanga whakapatipati

Whakaarohia tēnei: Kei te moenga koe me tō hoa wahine, kei te mātaki kiriata rānei i runga i te tūru, ā, ka tīmata koe ki te neke i ō maihao ki runga i tōna tinana, ki te kihi rānei i te kaki, ā, kāore kau he whakautu mai i a ia. Kāore he nekeneke, kāore he aue ngawari, kāore he pupuhi kiri. Kāore ia e titiro mai ki a koe, e pātai mai rānei he aha te mea e tupu ana. Ka mutu tāu mahi, ā, kāore e taea te ārai i te whakaaro, "Kei te aroha mai taku hoa wahine ki ahau?"

Āe, ehara i te mea kāore he take o ō mataku. Ko te kore aro ki ngā nekehanga whakapatipati, takaro rānei, ko tētahi pea o ngā tohu matua kāore tō hoa wahine e aro nui ana ki a koe. He tino take hohonu, he take nui hoki i puta ai tēnei huringa o ōna kare ā-roto ki a koe.

Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te whakawai i te wahine ki ngā kupu

15. Kāore he hiahia ki te tūhuratanga ā-ira tangata

E ai ki te tohunga hinengaro me te kaiwhakaora moepuku a Tākuta Shannon Chavez, "Ina kore te wahine e aro nui ki tana hoa, ka ngaro pea tōna hiahia ki te whai wāhi atu, ki te kōrero rānei mō ngā wawata moepuku, te tūhura i ngā whakaaro whakaari "kāore rānei e whakamātau i ngā mea hou i roto i te rūma moe." Nō reira, ki te mea ko te moe tahi me te hoa wahine he tūnga noa iho, ā, he rite tonu te auau i ia wā, he tohu tino kaha tēnā kāore ia e aro nui ana ki a koe.

Me pēhea te whakatau mēnā kāore tō hoa wahine e aro nui ana ki a koe

Tērā pea ka waiho koe e ēnei tohu mamae katoa kia whakaaro me pēhea te hoki anō ki te ātaahua o tō hoa wahine. Kāore au e pai ki te kōrero atu ki a koe, ehara i te mea ngāwari, ki te kore, ko te take kei muri i tana ātaahua e memeha haere ana ko ngā whakaweto pērā i te koretake o te akuaku whaiaro, te haunga kino rānei. Ahakoa rā, ehara i te mea kāore e taea. Ki te aro atu koe ki te āhuatanga me te ngākau aroha e tika ana, ka kitea e koe he huarahi hei whakaora i tēnei raruraru. Anei ētahi tohutohu mō te whakatau mena kāore tō hoa wahine e aro nui ana ki a koe:

1. Whakawhitiwhiti korero

Tīmata mā te kōrero pono ki tō hoa wahine. Whakatata atu ki te kaupapa mā te āta, me te arotahi ki te mārama ki ōna kare ā-roto me ngā take o te panoni o te hiahia ā-ira tangata. Te tuwhera whakawhiti korero ka taea te ārahi ki te māramatanga pai ake ki ngā hiahia me ngā āwangawanga o tētahi ki tētahi.

2. Arotahi ki te hononga kare ā-roto

Whakakahangia tō hononga kare ā-roto i waho o te rūma moe. I ētahi wā, ko te korenga o te kukume ā-ira tangata ka puta mai i te momotu o ngā kare ā-roto. Whakapaua he wā kounga ki a koe, whai wāhi atu ki nga korero hohonu, me te whakaatu i te maioha tetahi ki tetahi hei hanga anō i te whanaungatanga piripono.

3. Kaua e whakapae

Āraia te hiahia ki te whakapae i a koe anō, i tō hoa wahine rānei. Ka rerekē te hiahia ā-ira tangata nā ngā āhuatanga maha, tae atu ki te ahotea, te hauora, ngā huringa rānei o te whanaungatanga. Mā te whakapae ka puta te riri, ā, ka nui ake te kino. whakararu i te hononga.

Te pānui e pā ana: 8 Ngā Huarahi e Pāngia ai te Hononga e te Whakawhiti Whakahē

4. Whakatipu i te whakapono ki a koe anō

Arotahi ki tō whakaaro nui ki a koe anō me tō whakapono ki a koe anō. Whakauru atu ki ngā mahi e pai ai tō whakaaro mōu anō, ahakoa he whakakorikori tinana, he whai i ngā mahi whakangahau, he whakatutuki rānei i ngā whāinga whaiaro. Ka taea e te whakaaro whakapono ki a koe anō te pā pai ki tō whanaungatanga.

5. Rapua he awhina ngaio

Whakaarohia te kite i tētahi kaiwhakaora whanaungatanga, i tētahi kaiwhakaora moepuku rānei. Ka taea e tētahi tohunga te āwhina i a kōrua ki te tūhura i ngā take matua, te whakapai ake i te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, me te kimi otinga hei whakaoho anō i te hiahia moepuku. Mena kei te rapu āwhina koe, he tohunga, he mātau hoki ngā kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro i te rōpū a Bonobology kei konei mo koe.

He kōrero anō mō te marena kore ira tangata

6. Kia manawanui

Kia mārama koe he roa te wā e hiahiatia ana hei hanga anō i te hiahia ā-ira tangata. Kaua e pēhi i tō hoa wahine, kaua hoki e whakatakoto i ngā tumanakohanga koretake. Mā te manawanui me te mārama ka āwhina i te waihanga i tētahi taiao tautoko e taea ai te whanake noa i te hiahia.

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7. Arotakehia te whanaungatanga

Whakaarohia tō whanaungatanga whānui. Mena he take roa te korenga o te hiahia ā-ira tangata, ā, he pānga nui ki tō harikoa, me whakaaro pea koe mēnā kei te ea ō hiahia i te whanaungatanga, ā, mēnā he pai tonu te haere tonu.

Pātai Auau

1. He aha te take kāore taku hoa wahine e aro mai ana ki ahau mō te taha moepuku?

Tērā pea kāore tō hoa wahine e hiahia ana ki a koe mō ngā take maha, tae atu ki te ahotea, te momotu hononga kare ā-roto, ngā panoni rānei o tōna hauora tinana, hinengaro rānei. Whakawhanaungatanga hononga, ko ngā pakanga kāore anō kia whakatauhia, ko ngā āwangawanga whaiaro rānei, ka whai wāhi anō hoki. He mea nui kia kōrero mārama, kia tūhuratia ngātahitia ngā take matua, nā te mea kāore pea tana hiahia moepuku e whakaata i ōna kare ā-roto mōu, engari ko ngā āhuatanga o waho, o roto rānei e pā ana ki a ia.

2. Me pēhea taku whakamātautau mēnā kei te arohia ahau e taku hoa wahine?

Hei whakamātautau mēnā kei te aro atu tō hoa wahine ki a koe, mātakitakina tana reo tinana me ana whanonga. Ka tīmata ia i te pā atu ki a koe, ka pupuri tonu i te titiro kanohi, ka takaro rānei ki a koe? Mātakitakina mēnā ka mihi atu ia ki a koe, ka uru atu ki ngā kōrero hōhonu, ā, ka whakaatu i te hiahia ki te whakapau i te wā kounga ki a koe. Ka taea hoki e koe te tīmata mārire i te whanaungatanga piripono, i te takaro rānei hei aromatawai i tana urupare. Ko te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero tuwhera mō ngā kare ā-roto me te kukume te huarahi tino tika me te whai hua.

Tohutohu Matua

He mea āwangawanga te korenga o te kukume ā-ira tangata mai i tō hoa wahine, nā te mea he tohu pea tēnei nō te rerekētanga o ōna kare ā-roto ki a koe.
Ko ētahi o ngā tohu kāore tō hoa wahine e aro nui ana ki a koe ko te iti o te moepuku, te karo i te whanaungatanga piripono, te kore e tīmata i te whanaungatanga piripono, te kore e takaro, te hiahia mō te wāhi, me te kore hiahia ki te whakamātautau.
Ka taea te whakatau i te raruraru mā te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero tuwhera, te manawanui, me te māramatanga
He pai anō hoki te rapu āwhina ngaio hei tautuhi i te pūtake o te raruraru, me te kimi huarahi hei whakaoho anō i te mura.

Thoughts Final

Ahakoa te mamae o te ngākau i ngā tohu kāore tō hoa wahine e aro nui ana ki a koe, kāore e tika kia mutu te huarahi mō tō kōrua whanaungatanga. Ki te aroha koe ki tō hoa wahine, ā, e whakanui ana i te hononga e tohaina ana e kōrua ki a ia, ka kitea e koe he huarahi hei hono anō ki a ia, ā, whakakorikoria te korakora.

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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.