21 Ngā Tohu Mārama Kāore ia e Hiahia ki te Hononga ki a Koe

I a tātou e eke ana ki te ara hurihuri o te aroha, he maha ngā wā ka kitea tātou e whakamārama ana i ngā tohu ranu e tautuhi ana i te ara o te whanaungatanga. I ētahi wā, i waenganui i te raruraru o ngā kare ā-roto, ka puta ake ngā tohu e tohu ana i te panonitanga o ngā whanaungatanga aroha. Ā, ko ngā tohu kāore ia e hiahia ana ki tētahi whanaungatanga ki a koe, ka tīmata pea te whai pūtake. Tērā pea ka tīmata koe ki te kite i ngā tohu kāore ia e aroha ana ki a koe.

Ahakoa he ngawari noa iho ēnei tohu, he mea nui kia ako koe ki te kite i a rātou, kia kore ai koe e haumi tonu ki tētahi hononga kāore he heke mai. He mea nui kia whakatata atu koe ki tēnei haerenga o te whakatutukitanga me te mārama ki a koe anō me te hinengaro tuwhera, me te mōhio ko te mārama ki ēnei tohu ka taea te whakatakoto huarahi mō ngā hononga hauora me te tipu whaiaro. Nō reira, ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te mōhio mēnā kāore te kotiro e pai ki a koe, kia aro mai.

Ka tukuna atu e mātou he whakamārama mō ngā tohu nui kāore ia e aroha ana ki a koe, kāore hoki e hiahia ana ki tētahi whanaungatanga, i runga anō i te kōrero tahi me te kaiako whakaaroaro kare ā-roto me te kaiako whanaungatanga a Pooja Priyamvada (M.Phil), he tohunga ia ki te Āwhina Tuatahi mō te Hauora Hinengaro me te Hinengaro mai i te Kura Hauora Tūmatanui o Johns Hopkins Bloomberg me te Whare Wānanga o Sydney, he tohunga ki te tohutohu mō ngā take pēnei i te moepuku i waho o te marena, te wehenga, te wehenga, te pouri, me te mate.

21 Ngā Tohu Mārama Kāore ia e Hiahia ki te Hononga ki a Koe

Kei te rapu te katoa i te tangata tika. He mea whakahihiri, he mea wero hoki te whakatere i te ao uaua o ngā whanaungatanga aroha. Ko tētahi o ngā mea tino uaua ko te wetewete mēnā kei te whakapau kaha te tangata e hiahia ana koe ki te whai i tētahi whanaungatanga hou . Ahakoa he mea nui te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero mārama, i ētahi wā ka whakapuaki te tangata i ō rātou kare ā-roto mā roto i ngā tohu ngawari. Me tūhura tātou i ngā tohu mārama e 21 kāore ia e hiahia ki tētahi whanaungatanga ki a koe, hei āwhina i a koe ki te whakatau i ngā mea e rua:

1. Kāore ia e wātea ana i ēnei rā

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu nui kāore ia e hiahia ana ki te whai hononga ki a koe ko te kore ia e whakahoki mai i ō waea, ā, ka waihotia ō karere kuputuhi kia pānuihia. Ina he maha āna whakapāha, he pukumahi rānei āna mahi e kore ai ia e noho tahi me koe, tera pea he tohu tēnei kua huri ngā kaupapa matua. He tohu pea tēnei kāore ia e rapu hononga hōhonu ake . Tērā pea he pukumahi noa iho ia. Tērā pea he pukumahi ia ki te kōrero ki ētahi atu tāne. Anei te āhua o tōna kore wātea:

• Kāore au e waea pinepine atu ki a koe: Tērā pea i waea pinepine mai ia ki a koe i mua, ā, he maha ngā hāora o ā kōrua kōrero. Engari kāore tēnā e tupu ana i ēnei rā.
• Pukumahi tonu: He roa rawa tana whakautu mai. I ētahi wā, kāore ia e tirotiro i ō karere kuputuhi mō te rā katoa.
• Te whakakore tonu: Ka whakakorea e ia āna mahere ki a koe. Kua roa te pēnei.

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2. He hītori aua hāora mutunga kore e mahi ana

Ko te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero te toto ora o te whanaungatanga. Ina kitea koe e tīmata tonu ana i ngā kōrero, ā, he onge tana whakautu mai, he tohu tēnei kei te ngaro haere tōna hiahia ki a koe. Tērā pea ka tohu tēnei huringa i te nekehanga o tana arotahi, o tōna wātea rānei ki ngā kare ā-roto. Ki te kore koe e whakapau nui ana i te wā ki ngā waea waea pērā i ngā wā tōmua o te whakaipoipo, o te mōhio rānei tetahi ki tetahi, he tohu tēnei kāore he kotiro e hiahia ana ki a koe.

E kī ana a Pooja, "Ko ngā whakautu kupu kotahi, ko te whakaroa rānei i te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, he tohu pea tēnei i te kore e pai ki te whai wāhi atu ki ngā kōrero hohonu, whai tikanga hoki . Tērā pea he tohu tēnei whanonga i te hiahia ki te pupuri i tētahi taunekeneke mata, me te karo i ngā hononga kare ā-roto hohonu ake."

3. Kei te karo ia i ngā kaupapa whaiaro

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu kāore ia e hiahia ana ki a koe ko te wā ka tīmata ia ki te karo i ngā kaupapa whaiaro. Ko te hiahia ki te whakatuwhera mārire i ngā kōrero mō te oranga whaiaro he pou tokomanawa mō te hanga hononga hohonu ake. Ina huri te whanonga o te wahine ki a koe, he maha ngā tikanga pēnei i:

• Kei te tupu tētahi atu mea i roto i tōna ao
• He mea noa iho ia kāore e hiahia ana ki a koe
• Kāore anō ia kia rite mō tētahi whanaungatanga nui
• Tērā pea i mahia e koe tētahi mea hei pana atu i a ia

Ki te karo tonu ia i te kōrero mō ngā kaupapa whaiaro, ki te karo rānei i ngā pātai mō ōna kare ā-roto, tera pea he tohu tēnei kei te kore ia e pai ki te kōrero i tētahi mea ki tētahi atu. Mā te tīmata i tētahi kōrero mō te tuwhera o ngā kare ā-roto me te waihanga i tētahi wāhi haumaru mō te ngoikore ka āwhina i te whakakī i te āputa.

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4. Kua ngaro te whanaungatanga kare ā-roto

He mea nui te whanaungatanga piripono ki te ngākau o tētahi whanaungatanga whai tikanga. Mēnā he āhua motuhake, kāore rānei ia e aro ki ō kare ā-roto, tera pea tētahi o ngā tohu kāore ia e hiahia ana ki tētahi whanaungatanga ki a koe. Ko te kore o te whanaungatanga piripono ki te ngākau tētahi o ngā tohu whakatūpato mārama ka kitea e koe mēnā kei te pōhēhē koe mō ngā kare ā-roto o tētahi kōtiro ki a koe.

5. Kāore ia e kōrero tahi ana mō tō kōrua heke mai pērā i mua

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu nui kāore ia e aroha ana ki a koe — tae atu ki ngā tohu kāore ia e aroha ana ki a koe — ko te wā ka tīmata ia ki te karo i ngā kōrero mō te heke mai, pērā i te whakarite mahere, te whakatakoto whāinga rānei. He tohu tēnei kāore ia i te mārama ki a kōrua mō te ahunga o te whanaungatanga.

E mea ana a Pooja, "Ko te wahine kāore e hiahia ki te hanga hononga hohonu ake, ka karo pea i ētahi kaupapa, pērā i ngā kōrero mō te whānau, ngā mahere ā meake nei, te marena, ngā tamariki rānei. Tērā pea he tohu tēnei mō te kore whakapau kaha."

6. Kei te whakakore anō ia i a koe

Kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te mōhio mēnā kāore te kōtiro e pai ki a koe i ēnei rā? Ka whakakorea e ia i te taha maui, i te taha matau hoki. Kei te whakamahere koe ki te mātaki tahi i tētahi kiriata hou? Kua whakakorea. Kei te whakamahere koe ki te haere ki taua wharekai papai mō tō kōrua rā e whai ake nei? Kua whakakorea. Ko te whakakorenga tonu i ngā mahere, te kore rānei e whakatutuki i ngā herenga ka taea te whakapōuri. E tohu ana tēnei i te korenga o te herenga ki te hanga i te whanaungatanga, ā, koinei tētahi o ngā tohu mārama o te kore aro o te kōtiro ki a koe. Ahakoa kei te hiahia nui koe ki te whakapau i ētahi wā kounga ki a ia , tera pea kāore ia e rite ana ki tēnā. Hei karo i te whakarite mahere ki a koe, ka taea e ia te kī atu ki a koe i ngā mea penei:

• E toru marama mai i nāianei taua huihuinga. Kāore au i te mōhio he aha te āhua o taku kaupapa mahi i taua wā.
• Kāore au i te tino mōhio mēnā ka taea e au te whakatutuki
• He pai te ahua engari kua whai mahere kē ahau
• Ehara i te mea māku engari me haere koe me ō hoa

E kī ana a Pooja, "Ko te wehewehe i waenga i te pukumahi pono me te karo ā-tauira ko te aromatawai mēnā kei te ngana te wahine ki te whakarite wā tahi. Ko te wahine pukumahi engari he hiahia ka whakatau i te tūtaki, i te hono atu rānei, ko te wahine kāore he hiahia ka whakamahi tonu i te mahi, i ētahi atu herenga rānei hei arai i te whai wāhi."

7. He maroke āna whakautu

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu nui kāore ia e hiahia ana ki tētahi hononga ki a koe ko te wā e kore ai ia e pai ki te kōrero. He ara rua te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, ā, ko ngā whakautu koretake, kore rānei e piripono ana, e tohu ana pea i te whakaroa ki te whakatuwhera i te whanaungatanga, i te kore rānei o te hiahia ki tētahi hononga hohonu ake. E kī ana a Pooja, "Ko te kore o te tīmatanga, ngā karere kua roa, kāore rānei e aro mai, me te whai wāhi atu ki te tini tāngata, kaua ki te hono atu ki tētahi tangata, e tohu ana pea kei te hiahia ia ki tētahi hononga noa, kāore rānei i te tino pono."

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8. Kāore ia i kōrero mō te whakauru i a koe ki te hunga e tata ana ki a ia

He mea nui te tūtaki ki te porowhita o roto o te kōtiro kei a koe. Mēnā kāore te kōtiro e pai ana ki a koe i kōrero mō tō tūtakitanga ki ōna hoa tata, ki ōna mātua rānei, kāore ia i te tino aroha ki a koe. He taahiraa nui te tūtakitanga ki ngā hoa me te whānau o tētahi ki tētahi i roto i te whanaungatanga. Mēnā kāore ia e hiahia ki te whakauru atu i a koe ki tēnei wāhanga o tōna ao, tera pea he tohu tēnei kei te ruarua ia, kei te hiahia rānei ia ki te pupuri i tētahi taumata tawhiti. Koinei tētahi o ngā tohu kāore ia e pai ki a koe kia hiahia ai ia ki te kawe i ngā mea ki tētahi taumata e whai ake nei.

9. Kāore he PDA māu

He mea nui te aroha tinana ki ngā whanaungatanga aroha. Mēnā ka karohia e ia ngā whakaaturanga aroha tūmatanui, ka noho tawhiti rānei ia, tera pea kāore ia e aroha nui atu ana ki a koe i te hoa. Arā, koinei tētahi o ngā tohu kāore ia e pai kia hiahia koe ki tētahi whanaungatanga ki a koe. Ka tāpiri atu a Pooja, "Ahakoa kāore ngā tohu reo tinana motuhake e tohu whānuitia ana, ko te iti haere o te pā ā-tinana kore-ira, te iti haere o te titiro kanohi, me te iti haere o te whai wāhi ki ngā mahi pēnei i te pupuri ringa ka tohu pea i te hiahia ki tētahi whanaungatanga ngāwari ake, kore-pūmau rānei."

10. He maha ngā wā ka kitea koe e te wairua

He tohu tūturu te ngaronga o te aro ki a koe. Ko te korenga o te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, te roa rānei o te wā e noho puku ana, e tohu ana i te kore o te whakaaro nui, te kore rānei o te hiahia ki te hanga hononga hōhonu ake. He tohu mārama tēnei kāore ia e aro nui ana ki a koe, nā te mea he tino whakaute te ngaronga o te aro ki a koe i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga . Anei te āhua o te ngaronga o te aro ki a koe:

• He maha ngā hāora mai i tana whakautu mai ki ō karere kuputuhi
• Kāore ia i karanga atu ki a koe i roto i te āhua nei kua roa kē
• Kua whakatuwheratia pea e ia ō karere, engari kāore ia e whakautu ana ki aua karere

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11. Kāore ia e whakaae

Ki tō whakaaro, kāore ōna kare ā-roto ki a koe? Kei te whakaaro rānei koe, me pēhea te mōhio mēnā kāore te kotiro e pai ki a koe? Ahakoa tāu e mahi ai, e kore ia e piripono. Ki te whakaatu mārama ia i te wehi o te piripono, he mea nui kia whakaute i ōna kare ā-roto. He maha ngā wā kua rongo tātou i te iwi e pātai ana, "Kāore ia e hiahia ki tētahi hononga engari e hiahia ana kia haere tonu te kite i ahau, he aha te take?" Tērā pea ka ahu mai tēnei whanonga i ngā āhuatanga maha, ā, he mea tika te kōrero mō ngā wātaka me ngā tumanakohanga takitahi mō te hononga hei whakatere i tēnei rerekētanga o ngā taumata piripono.

12. Te Arotahi ki ngā Āhuatanga Tūturu

Mena ko ngā kōrerorero he kaupapa noa iho te nuinga, kaua ko ngā kōrero hohonu ake, he tikanga ake, tera pea he tohu kei te hiahia ia ki tētahi hononga papaku ake. Nō reira, āe, kua kore ia e aro ki a koe, pērā i mua. Mena kei roto kē kōrua i tētahi whanaungatanga, ko tēnei panonitanga whanonga tētahi o ngā tohu kāore ia e aroha ana ki a koe.

He mea nui te whakaatu i te hiahia mō ngā kōrero hohonu ake, me te mārama ki ngā hiahia hinengaro me te whanaungatanga o tētahi ki tētahi, hei hanga hononga pakari ake. E kī ana a Pooja, "Ko ngā tauira whanonga e tohu ana i te kore hiahia ki tētahi whanaungatanga nui , ko ngā whakaaturanga o te whakaaro wairua kore, kore here rānei. Ko ngā tāngata e whakapuaki ana i ngā kare ā-roto pēnei i te "he poto rawa te ora mō te tangata kotahi" e whakaatu ana rānei i te ruarua mō te marena me te marena kotahi, kāore pea i te rapu here mō te wā roa."

13. E wehi ana ia i ngā tapanga

I runga i tētahi tuhinga iti mō ngā tohutohu mō te whakaipoipo, i pātai tētahi kaiwhakamahi Reddit , "Kāore ia e hiahia ana ki tētahi whanaungatanga engari e mahi ana ia pērā i taku hoa wahine. E mea ana ia kāore ia e hiahia ana ki ngā tapanga hoa wahine/hoa tāne i tēnei wā, ā, kāore au i te tino mōhio he aha?" Ko te karo i ngā kōrero mō te āhua o tō whanaungatanga, te whakaatu rānei i te kore whakamarie ki ngā tapanga, he tohu pea tēnei kāore ia e piripono, he tohu rānei kāore ia e hiahia ana ki a koe.

14. E manaaki ana ia i a koe pērā i tētahi hoa piripono

Ki tō whakaaro kei te whakaarohia koe he hoa piripono? Te āhua nei kāore ia e tino aroha ana ki a koe. Ki te kite ia i a koe hei hoa, he mea nui kia mārama koe ki te panonitanga o ngā āhuatanga. Tērā pea kāore ia e kite ana i tētahi whanaungatanga ki a koe ā muri ake nei, ā, kāore ia e pai ki a koe i tua atu i te hoa, koinā anake.

E kī ana a Pooja, "I roto i ngā whanaungatanga platonic , ka whakatū pea ngā wāhine i ngā rohe whaiaro e pā ana ki te pā tinana, me te karo i ngā hononga kore-ira. Kāore i rite ki ngā whanaungatanga aroha, e kitea ana te pā tinana me te tumanakohia, ka mau tonu pea te huarahi ātaahua ki ngā taunekeneke tinana anake i roto i te whanaungatanga platonic." Ki te kite koe i ēnei tauira whanonga, he mea nui kia mōhio koe ki a rātou - he tohu kāore ia e pai ake ana ki a koe i te hoa.

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15. Kāore ia e tuku tautoko kare ā-roto

Kei te pāngia koe e tētahi wā uaua o te ao, engari kāore ia i reira hei tautoko i a koe, pērā i a koe i reira hei tautoko i a ia? Tērā pea ko te kore tautoko kare ā-roto e tohu ana kāore ia i te rite, i te hiahia rānei ki te haumi ki tētahi whanaungatanga hohonu ake, e hono atu ana ki ngā kare ā-roto. Ko te kore i reira hei tautoko i a koe i te wā e hiahiatia ana e koe, e tohu ana hoki kāore ia e aro nui ana ki a koe. Anei te āhua o te whakakorenga kare ā- roto mai i a ia:

• Kāore ia i te harikoa mō ō angitu
• Ka hangaia e ia ngā mea katoa mōna ake
• Ka ngaro atu ia ina uaua ngā wā mōu
• Ka whakaitihia e ia ō kare ā-roto

16. He nui rawa ana kōrero mō tana hoa tāne o mua

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu nui kāore ia e hiahia ana ki tētahi hononga ki a koe ko te wā e kore ai ia e neke atu. Ko te nui o ngā kōrero mō tētahi hoa o mua ka tohu pea i ngā kare ā-roto kāore anō kia whakatauhia, me te hiahia ki te whakahoahoa kaua ki te hononga aroha. Kāore ia e maioha ki a koe, kāore rānei e kite i a koe hei hoa pea. Mā te aro nui ki ēnei āwangawanga ka mārama ake te āhua o te hononga, ā, ka āwhina i ngā hoa e rua kia neke whakamua.

17. E kōrero ana ia mō te mana motuhake

Ko te whakanui tonu i te tū motuhake me te whai i a koe anō he tohu pea kei te hiahia koe ki te pupuri i te wāhi whaiaro me te mana motuhake. He mea nui te kōrero i ngā tumanakohanga a tetahi ki tetahi mō te tū motuhake me te whakawhirinakitanga ki tetahi ki tetahi hei whakatū i te taurite hauora i roto i te whanaungatanga. Mena he mea e kōrero pinepine ana ia mō te karo i te piripono ki a koe, ko tētahi o ngā tohu tēnei e whakaatu ana kāore ia e aroha ki a koe.

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18. E mea ana ia ko tana mahi te mea nui ki a koe

Kāore pea i te pā ki a koe. Kāore pea tōna oranga aroha i te mea nui ki a ia i tēnei wā. Ā, he pai rawa atu tēnā. Nō reira, ina kī mai ia ko tana mahi tana mea nui, kei te kī ia kāore i a ia te kaha o ngā kare ā-roto hei haumi ki tētahi whanaungatanga . Ki te kore tēnā e tohu mārama kāore ia e hiahia ana ki tētahi whanaungatanga, kāore tātou e mōhio he aha te mea. Whakaaetia, whakautehia hoki ōna hiahia, ka neke atu - koinei te mea pai rawa atu ka taea e koe te mahi māu ake me ia.

19. Kāore e wātea ana mō ō rā nui

Ko te korenga e tae atu ki ngā huihuinga nui o tō ao tētahi o ngā tohu kāore ia e hiahia ana ki tētahi whanaungatanga ki a koe, ā, tera pea he tohu kāore ia e hiahia ki te hanga hononga whai tikanga ake. Ahakoa he tino mamae te kite i te wahine e arohaina ana e koe kāore e puta mai ki a koe, kei te tuku karere ia me te mārama. Tirohia te āhua o te mea nei, ā, tiakina koe i ngā mamae me ngā manukanuka ā muri ake nei.

20. Kāore e hae, kāore hoki e āwangawanga

Ahakoa he kino te hae kino, ko te kore rawa o te āwangawanga, te kore rānei o te aro ki ō taunekeneke me ētahi atu, ehara pea i te tohu pai mōu. Anei te āhua:

• Ahakoa ka kōrero koe ki a ia mō tētahi kōtiro e pā kino ana ki a koe, te āhua nei kāore ia e māharahara.
• Kāore ia e whai ake i ngā kōrero mō te hoa mahi wahine hou i takaro ki a koe i tētahi pāti tari.
• Kāore koe e kite i a ia e tirotiro ana i ō pou pāpāho pāpori hei tirotiro i ngā kōtiro i pai ki a koe.

Ki te kore ia e whakamā ahakoa te kōrero a koe mō ētahi atu kōtiro e hiahia ana ki a koe, he tohu mārama tēnā kāore te kōtiro e hiahia ana ki a koe.

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21. Ko tō tātou huritau i tēnei rā?

Ki te wareware tetahi kōtiro i ngā tohu nui o te whanaungatanga, i ngā huihuinga motuhake rānei pērā i ngā rā whānau, kāore rawa ia e aro ki a koe. Ko te whakaiti, te kore rānei e aro ki ngā tohu nui o te whanaungatanga, tera pea he tohu kāore he haumi kare ā-roto.

Me aha koe ina kore ia e aro atu ki a koe?

Nō reira, ka taea e koe te hono atu ki te nuinga o ngā tohu e whakaatu ana kāore ia e aroha ana ki a koe, ā, kāore hoki e hiahia ana ki tētahi whanaungatanga ki a koe. Haunga te mamae me te pōuri, ka puta pea i te kitenga tētahi pātai nui: me aha ia ina kore ia e aro ki a koe? Kua tae ki te wā kia mutu te whai i te kotiro e pai ana ki a koe , ka hoki whakamuri? Ahakoa he uaua, ko te mea nui ko te whakahaere i te āhuatanga me te ātaahua me te mōhio ki ō kare ā-roto. Anei ētahi mahi tino āwhina mēnā ka kite koe kāore ia e aro ki a koe:

• Hoki whakamuri: Tuatahi, me hoki whakamuri, ka whakaaroaro ki ngā tohu. He maha ngā wā, ko ngā huringa ngawari o ngā tauira whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, te hekenga o te hihiri, te hekenga rānei o ngā mahi tahi ka waiho hei tohu kei te memeha haere tōna hiahia. 
• Kia takitahi ētahi: Ko te kōrero tuwhera, pono te tūāpapa o tētahi whanaungatanga, ā, mā te kōrero ki a ia mō ō āwangawanga ka puta he māramatanga ahurei.
• Kaua e pērā te tangata piripono: Kia mōhio koe kua memeha haere tōna hiahia, āraia te hiahia ki te piri tonu ki te whanaungatanga. He mea noa te ngaronga o te aroha, engari ko te ngana ki te akiaki i te hononga, kāore pea e puta he hua pai. Engari, arotahi ki te pupuri i tō oranga ngākau. 
• Mahia tāu ake mahi: Whakauru atu ki ngā mahi e hari ai koe, whakapau i te wā waatea me ō hoa me tō whānau, me te haumi ki te tiaki i a koe anō. Ehara i te mea ka āwhina noa tēnei i te tipu whaiaro engari ka whakaatu hoki i te manawanui me te mana motuhake.
• Pātai atu ki a ia te take: Ahakoa te uaua, ngana ki te pupuri tuwhera nga rarangi korero. Whakatata atu ki te kōrero me te aroha me te hiahia pono ki te mārama ki ōna tirohanga. Pātaihia ngā pātai tuwhera mō ōna kare ā-roto, ā, kia rite ki te whakarongo kaha. Kaua e ārai, e whakahē rānei, nā te mea ka ārai pea tēnei i te kōrero whai hua.  
• Ko te mea nui, whakaaetia: Whakaaetia kāore ia e maioha ana ki a koe. Whakaaetia kāore ōna kare ā-roto mōu. He wāhanga nui te whakaae ki te whakatere i tētahi whanaungatanga e memeha haere ana. Whakaaetia ka taea te huri i ngā kare ā-roto, ā, he wāhanga tēnei o te piki me te heke o ngā hononga tangata. Ahakoa he mamae pea, mā te awhi i tēnei mooni ka taea te whakatakoto i te ara mō te whakaora me te tipu whaiaro. 
• Kāore te tono āwhina e whakangāwari i a koe: Whakaarohia te rapu tautoko mai i ngā hoa, i te whānau, i tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro rānei. Mā te whakapuaki i ō kare ā-roto ki ngā hoa whakawhirinaki ka taea te tuku tirohanga whai hua me te whakamarie i te kare ā-roto. Ka taea hoki e te aratohu rongoā te whakarato taputapu hei whakatere i te pōrearea kare ā-roto e haere tahi ana me te mutunga o te whanaungatanga. Kia mahara, he pai te whakawhirinaki ki ētahi atu i ngā wā uaua.
• Tangohia he wa okioki: Hei whakamutunga, hoatu he wā ki a koe anō kia ora ai. Te neke atu i tētahi whanaungatanga he wā, he manawanui hoki. Tukua he wāhi ki a koe anō hei tangi mō te mate, ā, awhi i te whai wāhitanga mō te whakahou. Mā te hohoro ki te uru ki ngā whanaungatanga hou hei huarahi whakararuraru ka ārai pea i te tukanga whakaora. Engari, arotahi ki te hanga i tētahi turanga mō te aroha ki a koe anō me te manawanui ka whai hua ki a koe i ngā hononga a meake nei.

He haerenga uaua, he haerenga whakahihiri hoki mā te tāne te kitenga kua kore ia e aro atu. Heoi anō, kei roto i tēnei āhuatanga uaua he wāhi nui mō te tipu whaiaro me te whakaaroaro.

Ko te whakatata atu ki tētahi āhuatanga pēnei me te atawhai ka nui ake te hiranga i tā tātou e whakaaro nei. Ko te tikanga o te atawhai ko te karo i ngā tauhohenga ohorere, ngā whakapae, ngā ngana rānei ki te akiaki i tētahi hononga. Ngāna kia mārama ko ngā kare ā-roto, pērā i te tai, ka taea te timu me te rere. Engari kaua e tukua ki te ngakaukore, whakamahia tō kaha ki te whanaketanga whaiaro. Awhitia ngā whāinga hou, kimihia ngā hākinakina hou, me te whakatapua te wā ki ngā mahi e whai wāhi ana ki tō oranga tinana, hinengaro, me te kare ā-roto.

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Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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