I muri i te wā e noho tahi ana, ka piki haere te hoha o ngā whanaungatanga. Kua kite pea koe i roto i ngā kiriata, hei hua o te hiahia o ngā tau e whitu, o te koretake rānei o ngā ohorere a tō hoa – ko te nuinga o ngā whanaungatanga aroha ka hoha.
He kaiawhina hokohoko a Maria mā tētahi kamupene hokohoko nui, ā, he maha āna amuamu mō te āhua hoha o tana whanaungatanga hauora, me tana uaua ki te ārai i te hoha i roto i tana whanaungatanga. He amuamu noa iho tēnei mā ngā kōtiro, arā, ko ā rātou kōrero ki ngā hoa tāne kua huri hei mea noa iho i a rātou e whakaaro ana me pēhea te whakatika i te hoha i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga. Kaua e manukanuka! He mea nui, tuatahi, kia mārama he mea noa iho tēnei.
Ko te kaupapa o ngā whanaungatanga he kawe mai i te harikoa ki tō ao. Mēnā ka mimiti haere te kore o te harikoa, me whakatika wawe tonu. Engari i mua i te tango i tētahi rongoā mō tētahi mea, he mea nui kia mārama pai koe ki te mate. Ko te hoha i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga he tikanga kāore koe e hiahia ki te kōrero roa tetahi ki tetahi. Tērā pea ētahi wā ka pouri koe mō te whakaae ki tētahi herenga. He maha ngā āhuatanga ka puta ai te hoha i roto i ngā whanaungatanga, engari he maha ngā huarahi hei karo atu.
He aha ngā tohu o tētahi whanaungatanga hoha?
Ripanga o Ihirangi
Neke atu i te ono marama te roa o te wā i mua i te mōhio o Suzanne kāore i te "tika" tetahi mea i roto i tana whanaungatanga. I te tīmatanga, i wareware ia ki te kore aro o tana hoa tāne ki a ia, he mea noa iho. Nō muri mai, ka mōhio ia ko te mea hou tēnei mā rātou ina kī atu ia ki ana hoa, "He hoha ngā kōrero ki taku hoa tāne." Inaianei ka pātai pinepine ia ki ana hoa, "He mea noa te hoha i roto i ngā whanaungatanga?"
Kāore e taea te whakahihiri i ngā wā katoa pērā i te wā i tīmata ai kōrua te whakaipoipo. Ka huri ngā pō i waho hei pō e noho ana i mua i te pouaka whakaata, e kai ana i ngā kai Hainamana me te kore e māharahara ki te ao. Ahakoa he tino hoha pea tēnā ki ētahi, ki ētahi atu, koinei anake te mea e hiahiatia ana e rātou. Ki te mea kei te ngana koe ki te whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga hoha, me mārama tuatahi koe mēnā he rite ō whakamāramatanga me tō hoa mō te hoha.
Nō reira, i mua i tō tīmatanga ki te manukanuka mō te mea 'kua hoha taku hoa tāne ki ahau, me aha ahau', pātai atu ki a ia mēnā kei te hoha ia ki a koe. Mā wai e mōhio, tera pea ko te noho tahi me koe i te pō ko tana whakaaro mō te ngahau. Kāore ia rā e hiahiatia kia waiho hei whakangahau nui.
Ahakoa rā, he nui te āhua hoha o te whanaungatanga hei mea i a koe kia rite ki tētahi o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine 80-tau te pakeke e whakaaro ana ki te aroha, arā, ko te tango i ō rātou niho i mua i te tina. Ki te mea kua hoha koe i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga i muri i ngā tau e rua, ka taea e koe te whakapai ake i tō pūkenga.
Nō reira, ki te kore e puta he whakaohooho adrenaline i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, he mea nui kia kitea ngā tohu tōmua o tētahi whanaungatanga hoha. Hei tauira, ki te kore koe e mōhio hoha tō wahine, me mōhio koe mā roto i ngā tohu. Ko ētahi o ngā tohu noa o tētahi whanaungatanga hoha hei tirotiro māu ko:
- Te noho roa ki te mahiKo tētahi o ngā tohu o tētahi whanaungatanga hoha ko te noho roa i te mahi nā te mea kāore i a koe te hihiri nui ki te hoki ki te kāinga. He aha koe ka mahi ai ina hoha koe i roto i tō whanaungatanga?
- Kai ko koe anakeKo tētahi atu tohu o te hoha i roto i te whanaungatanga ko te kai katoa i a koe e panuku ana i ō karere waea me te kore e kōrero ki tō hoa.
- Kāore he kōrero pakupakuHaunga tēnei, ki te tīmata koe ki te pātai i ngā pātai auau pēnei i te 'kei te pēhea tō rā?' me te 'kei te pēhea koe?' hei tīmatanga kōrero, ā, ka tūtaki koe ki ngā whakautu kotahi-kupu pēnei i te 'kotahi tonu' me te 'pai' – he tohu pea tēnei kei te hoha tō kōrua whanaungatanga.
- Te haere takitahi: Kei te tumanako atu koe ki ngā hararei me te kore tō hoa rangatira. Ko te tikanga kua tae ki te wā ki te whakatika i te hoha i roto i ngā whanaungatanga.
- He iti ake ngā haerengaKo tētahi atu tohu e whakaatu ana he hoha tō kōrua whanaungatanga, ko tō hiahia ki te mātaki pouaka whakaata, kaua ki te haere tahi me tō hoa.
- Kāore kōrua e kata tahi ana: Ko tētahi o ngā tohu nui o te tangata/whanaungatanga hoha ko te kore e taea e kōrua te mahara ki te wā i kata tahi ai kōrua. Mēnā ko te rangi anake tā kōrua e kōrero ana, kāore e nui ngā katakata e puta ana i roto i tō kōrua whanaungatanga! Te mea kia whero tōna mata/Ko te kata tētahi o ngā huarahi pai hei whakahoki mai i te harikoa.
- Kāore koe e ngahau ana me tō hoa: I te nuinga o te wā, ki te kore koe e ngahau ana me tō hoa, ā, me huri tonu ō rā ki ngā rā takirua me tētahi atu tokorua, koinei tētahi o ngā tohu nui kei a koe he āhua hoha tō whanaungatanga. Ina hoha koe i roto i tō whanaungatanga, ā, he pai ake ki a koe te haere ki waho ki te rā takirua i te haere noa ki tō hoa, e mōhio ana koe me whakarerekē koe i ngā mea.
E tohu ana ēnei tohu kei te pāngia tō whanaungatanga e te wā uaua, ā, i mua i te mutunga rawa, me whakapau kaha koe ki te ārai i te hoha i roto i te whanaungatanga. Nā, me pēhea te hanga i tētahi whanaungatanga kia kore ai e hoha? He rerekē ngā whakautu i ia whanaungatanga, engari hei āwhina i a koe ki te tīmata, kua whakarārangihia e mātou ngā huarahi 11 hei whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga hoha.
Te Hoha i roto i te Hononga: 11 Ngā Huarahi hei Kaua e Tukua kia Tupu
Pērā i a Suzanne, ki te mea kei roto koe i tētahi wā o te ruarua i a koe anō, me aro atu koe ki te hoha i roto i tō whanaungatanga, kaua e noho mārire ki te whakataukī — 'ka hoha ia whanaungatanga'. Anei ētahi huarahi hei patu i te hoha i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga kia taea ai e koe te whakakī i te hoha ki te ngākau nui me te hihiri:
1. Te whakapuaki i te harikoa ki a rātou anō
He māmā noa te pārekareka ki tētahi whanaungatanga ina tohaina te harikoa ki tō hoa. Ki te kore e tohaina te harikoa, e kore e roa te whanaungatanga. He mea nui kia mōhio koe, haunga te whanaungatanga ā-tinana, kei reira anō hoki ngā āhuatanga ngā momo whanaungatanga e tohaina ana e koe ki tō hoa ka taea e tēnā te āwhina i a koe kia harikoa ki a rātou.
Ia wā ka pā mai he mea pai ki a kōrua, ko te mea pai rawa atu ko te whakapuaki i te harikoa ki tō hoa. Ki te hoha koe i roto i tō whanaungatanga, pātai atu ki a koe anō mēnā kei te kōrero pai koe ki tō hoa. Ka taea anake te whakatutuki i te harikoa mēnā ka tukua koe kia wheako i taua mea!
2. Whakaritea ngā kai tahi
He pai pea te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero reka i ētahi wā, engari kāore pea i ngā wā katoa. Ko tā te tangata e taea ai ko te waihanga i ētahi tikanga o ia rā, pērā i te taka kai tahi hei whakawhanaungatanga, hei whakapau wā kounga tahi. Hei tauira, ko Radhika rāua ko Ajay, he kaiwhakahaere matua o te kamupene kei te tata ki te 30 tau te pakeke, ka whakarite kia tunu kai tahi rāua, kia kai tahi hoki i te iti rawa i te kotahi kai i te rā. Mā tēnei ka whai wāhi rāua ki te whakapau wā me te mārama tetahi ki tetahi, me te whai wāhi atu ki tētahi mahi auaha, kaua ki te pupuri ringa noa.
Nō reira, ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe "kua hoha taku hoa tāne ki ahau, me aha ahau?", tangohia mai ētahi riki ka mea atu ki tō hoa tāne kia tapatapahia. Kāore e roa ka tangi ia i ngā roimata o te harikoa nā te mea he harikoa ia ki te noho tahi me koe. Kāore he pānga o ngā riki ki ngā roimata, ko te tikanga.
3. Te mātaki tahi i ā koutou whakaaturanga tino pai
He mea nui te whakapau i te wā kounga tahi mēnā e mōhio ana koe he hoha tō kōrua whanaungatanga hauora. Ā, kāore e hiahiatia kia whai mahere whakapaipai i ngā wā katoa. Mā te awhi tahi i runga i te tūru me te mātaki tahi i tētahi kiriata, i tētahi whakaaturanga rānei e pai ai te mahi.
I te kitenga o Isabel kua pakaru haere tana hononga ki tana hoa rangatira, a Ron, mō te kore take, ka kī atu ia kia mātaki rāua i te iti rawa i te kotahi kiriata aroha i ia wiki hei whakapakari i te aroha i roto i ō rāua ngākau. I whakaae ia, ā, inaianei ka mea ia, "Kei te tino tumanako ahau ki ā māua ahiahi Rātapu aroha."
4. Hangaia he koha mō tō hoa
Kāore pea te hoko putiputi, te hoko kākahu rānei e pai ki tō hoa, pērā i te whakarite i tētahi koha mai i te tīmatanga. Ina kei roto koe i tētahi hononga roa, ka taea e koe te tūhura i ētahi mea. ngā kōwhiringa koha, tāpirihia he pā o tō auahatanga ki roto, kia hou ai tō hononga.
Ki te mea kei te hoha koe ki te moepuku i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, he aha e kore ai e hanga i tētahi mea hei whakapaipai i te rūma moe? He taonga takaro moe tāne-ā-ringa pea? He whakapaipai rānei i ō kākahu tawhito hei whakaoho anō i te hiahia. He huarahi pai te whakamahana i ngā mea i roto i te rūma moe hei whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga hoha.
5. Whakapaipai tahi i tētahi rūma
Ina mahi koe i tētahi mea whai hua mō ō koutou taonga tahi pērā i tō whare, i tō waka rānei, ka puta he wairua o te kaupapa tahi hei āwhina i a kōrua ki te hono atu tetahi ki tetahi. Ehara i te mea me whakapau moni nui koe ki te whakahou i te whare, ki te hoko taonga utu nui rānei. I ētahi wā, mā te mahi tahi noa me tō hoa ki te hanga i tētahi mea whakairi pakitara ka taea te waihanga i ngā maharatanga ataahua hei pupuri.
Ki te mea kua hoha kōrua i roto i tētahi hononga i muri i ngā tau e rua, ngana ki te whakapaipai tahi i tētahi rūma. Kāore he mea e rite ana ki te aroha i te mahi ā-ringa. Hei tāpiri, ka āwhina i a koe ki te kite i te pūkenga o tō hoa tāne. I a koe e mahi ana, pania he peita ki tōna T-hate. Tērā pea ka tupu, he pai ake te kata! Ngā mea hei mahi māu me tō hoa tāne kāore i te hoha te kāinga e ai ki tō whakaaro.
6. Haere ki te kiriata
He painga anō tō te mātakitaki kiriata i te whare pikitia. Ina whakarite koe i tētahi rā, ka whakaritea e koe ētahi whakaritenga pēnei i ngā mea e pā ana ki te wāhi waka, te tina, ngā kai mātao, ngā kākahu hei kakahu, me ētahi atu. Ā, i te mutunga, ka harikoa koe mō te whakarite i tētahi ahiahi pai. Ahakoa kāore kōrua e pai ki te momo kiriata kotahi, he mea ngahau te tūhura i te momo kiriata e tino paingia ana e tō hoa rangatira.
Ki te pai tētahi o kōrua ki ngā kiriata Indie, engari ko tētahi e pai ake ana ki ngā kiriata mahi kino, tera pea ka pai ki a kōrua tētahi momo kiriata hou kāore anō kia arohia e kōrua i mua. Tērā pea ka taea e kōrua te whiriwhiri i ngā kiriata e hiahia ana kōrua ki te mātaki. Ko te whakautu ki te pātai me pēhea te hanga i tētahi whanaungatanga kia kore ai e hoha, me whai patunga tapu i ētahi wā. Tērā pea ka tatari ngā whakaahua roa ataahua o te tau 1917, me mātaki tuatahi koe i a Vin Diesel e rere ana i tētahi motuka ki te wāhi!
7. Kei te tumanako atu ki tētahi hararei
Hei ārai i te hoha i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, ka taea e kōrua te whakarite hararei tahi. He mea nui anō hoki kia haere hararei me tō hoa rangatira pērā i te whakamahere. Ina whakamahere koe i tētahi hararei, ka hoatu e koe ki tō hoa me koe te tumanako kia pai te noho tahi i roto i ētahi wiki i muri mai. Ā, ina tutuki taua 'tumanako', ka kaha ake tō hononga. Ko te mea pai, me rerekē ngā hararei – mai i ngā maunga ki te moana, mai i ngā whakamaharatanga tuku iho ki ngā tiriti matua.
8. Te whakatakoto i ngā whāinga whakamere mō ngā tokorua
Me whakatakoto ētahi whāinga mō ngā tokorua i ia tau hei karo i te hoha i roto i te whanaungatanga. Mā ēnei ka hihiri ngā tokorua ki te tumanako ki te mahi tahi i tētahi mea pai, whakahihiri hoki, pērā i te noho tahi i te pō ua i runga i te taraiwa, te taraiwa rānei ki tētahi wharekai rongonui e 300 maero te tawhiti i te mutunga wiki mō te tina reka i te ahiahi hotoke paki.
Te pānui e pā ana: Haere mō te Tokorua: Ngā Tohutohu mō te Whakamahere i te Haerenga mō ngā Tāne me ngā Wahine Tauhou
9. Ngā haerenga rōpū
I ētahi wā, mā te haere tahi me ō hoa, whānau whānui rānei, ka nui ake te harikoa o tō ao. He rerekē te noho tahi me tō hoa rangatira, engari mā te noho tahi me ia me te rōpū o ō hoa ka whakamātau i tō taumata whakamarie i waenganui i ā rātou titiro whakararuraru. He mea nui tēnei ki te whakapakari i tō piripono ki te hoa rangatira. He painga anō hoki te ārai i te hoha i roto i te whanaungatanga.
10. Hono atu ki tētahi akomanga whakangahau
Ki te pai koe ki te tākaro tēnehi, ki te kaukau rānei, he mea pai kia rēhita tahi koe mō ngā akomanga. I uru atu a Ashish rāua ko Neha, he tokorua taitamariki, i te mutunga wiki Urdu ngā akomanga i āhei ai rātou ki te noho tahi, ehara i te mea ko te āwhina anake i a rātou ki te ako i tētahi reo hou.
Mā te whakauru atu ki tētahi akomanga whakangahau ka taea e kōrua te maioha ki te tohungatanga o tētahi ki tētahi i taua mara. Kia maumahara ehara i te mea nui te whai wāhi atu ki taua mahi engari te mahi i taua mahi. tahi.
11. Ka kata tahi
Ko te kata tahi tētahi o ngā mea tino whakamīharo. He mea tino nui te whakawhitiwhiti kata me ngā wā harikoa ki tō hoa rangatira hei whakaiti i te hoha i roto i te whanaungatanga. Ina whakawhitiwhiti harikoa kōrua, ka maioha kōrua ki ngā katakata a tētahi ki tētahi. Mā tēnei ka whakapakari i tō kōrua hononga, ka maka atu te hoha i waho o te matapihi o tō rūma moe.
Ahakoa he pono he mea noa te hoha i roto i ngā whanaungatanga, ehara i te mea ka haere tonu ngā tokorua katoa ki te whakakore i te hoha. Ko ētahi e whakaae ana he mea kua oti kē, ko ētahi e kimi ana i tētahi take hei "neke atu" i te ao. Engari ki te tino piripono koe ki ngā kupu whakaari i oati ai koe i te tīmatanga o tēnei haerenga aroha, me kimi huarahi koe hei pupuri i aua kupu whakaari kia haere tahi ai kōrua, kia haereere ai i te tawhiti e taea ana e kōrua – me te mahi i tēnā me te kimi tonu i te harikoa i roto i te hoa o tētahi ki tētahi.
Haere mō te tokorua: Kua rite koe mō ngā haerenga tino uaua?
Nā te aroha ki te whakapakari tinana i riro mai ai i ahau taku hoa tāne hou
Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
