Chikondi Vs M'chikondi - Pali Kusiyana Kotani?

Tsiku lina Jenna akuyang’ana mnzakeyo mosangalala, anawauza kuti: “Mumandichititsa kumva kuti ndine munthu wapamwamba kwambiri padzikoli ndipo ndine wokondwa kwambiri kukhala nanu m’moyo wanga. Ndiye, ndi chikondi chotani chomwe tikuwona apa? Kodi ndi chikondi chozama chomwe timalakalaka kapena chokonda chomwe timafuna koma nthawi zina sitingathe kuchichirikiza? Kodi chikondi ndi chikondi ndi chiyani?

Chabwino, takupatsani chidziwitso pankhaniyi. Ndi chidziwitso chochokera kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo komanso mphunzitsi wodziwa bwino ntchito za moyo Deepak Kashyap (Masters in Psychology of Education), yemwe ndi katswiri pa nkhani zosiyanasiyana zaumoyo wamaganizo, kuphatikizapo LGBTQ ndi uphungu wachinsinsi, timatha kuzindikira kusiyana pakati pa kukhala pachikondi ndi kukonda munthu.

Chikondi ndi chiyani? Psychology Pambuyo Pake

Kodi kukhala m'chikondi kumamva bwanji? Funsani wolemba ndakatulo ndipo angakulembereni ndakatulo pankhaniyi. Funsani katswiri wa masamu ndipo mwina adzabwera ndi equation yovuta kuti afotokoze momwe akumvera. Koma kodi psychology kumbuyo kwa chikondi ndi chiyani ndipo mumadziwa bwanji ngati mumakondadi munthu?

Deepak akuti, "N'zovuta kufotokoza momwe anthu awiri amamvera chikondi. Monga katswiri wa zamaganizo, chomwe ndinganene ndichakuti chikondi chenicheni si kumverera kokha koma gulu la malingaliro, momwe muli kumvetsetsa kwakukulu kwa munthu amene mumamukonda, komanso chiyembekezo cha amene mukufuna kukhala naye."

Mukakonda munthu, si zokhazo zomwe zimakhudzidwa ndi maganizo; mphamvu ya mankhwala m'thupi lanu imakhudzidwanso. Mwachitsanzo, ganizirani za ntchito ya oxytocin mu chikondi. Oxytocin ndi neurotransmitter komanso mahomoni omwe amapangidwa mu hypothalamus. Mu 2012, ofufuza adanena kuti anthu omwe ali m'magawo oyamba a chikondi anali ndi oxytocin wambiri, poyerekeza ndi anthu osakwatirana, zomwe zikusonyeza kuti kukhala ndi chikondi chozama kumathandiza munthu kugwirizana ndi anthu ena.

Dr. Daniel G. Amen, katswiri wa zamaganizo wovomerezeka ndi bungwe la double board m'buku lake, The Brain in Love: 12 Lessons to Enhance Your Love Life , akunena kuti chikondi cha nthawi yayitali ndi chilimbikitso chomwe ndi gawo la dongosolo la mphotho ya ubongo.

Psychology kumbuyo kwa chikondi ikhoza kufotokozedwa mwachidule motere:

• Chikondi ndi chochita, ndi mneni kuposa dzina
• Chikondi ndi kuyankha mwamphamvu kwa thupi komwe munthu angamve m'njira zosiyanasiyana
• Zimatipangitsa kukhala atcheru, okondwa, ndi kufuna kugwirizana

Tsopano popeza tadziwa tanthauzo la maganizo a anthu pankhani ya chikondi , tiyeni tione kusiyana pakati pa kukonda munthu ndi kukonda munthu wina.

Chikondi Vs. M'chikondi - 8 Kusiyanitsa Kwakukulu

Kodi kukhala m'chikondi kumatanthauza chiyani? Kodi pali kusiyana kotani pakati pa chikondi ndi chikondi m'makhalidwe athu? Deepak anati: “Pali kusiyana kumodzi kwakukulu: Kukhala m’chikondi m’njira yachikondi kumatanthauza kukhala wopanda nzeru pang’ono ndi kulonjezedwa pangano.” Pamene mukunena kuti muli pa chibwenzi ndi munthu wina, ndiye kuti mumafuna kukhalabe pachibwenzi ndi munthuyo zivute zitani.

Kukangana kwa chikondi ndi chikondi kumafika pa kusiyana kwakukulu kwa malingaliro. Ngakhale kuti timakonda kugwiritsa ntchito mawu onsewa mofanana, pali kusiyana kwakukulu pakati pa kukonda munthu ndi kumukonda. Koma kumbukirani, chikondi chimasintha ndipo chimasintha kuchoka ku gawo lina kupita ku lina. Tiyeni tifufuze mozama kusiyana kumeneku kuti timveke bwino za momwe timamvera komanso moyo wachikondi:

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Chikondi vs. Kugwirizana: Kodi Ndi Chikondi Chenicheni? Kumvetsetsa Kusiyana

1. Chikondi chikhoza kutha, kukhala m'chikondi ndi chilakolako

Pamene tikukambirana za chikondi ndi chikondi, tiyeni tione nkhani ya Jenna. Jenna adakumana ndi bwenzi lake miyezi isanu ndi umodzi yapitayo ndipo adakumana nthawi yomweyo. Anamva kukhala amphamvu, okondwa, ndi okondwa kukhala ndi wina ndi mzake ndipo mphamvu zawo zinkadziwika ndi chilakolako chochuluka. Anayesetsa kwambiri kusamalirana ndi kukhala pakati pawo. Ngati mukuganiza momwe mungafotokozere kukhala m'chikondi, malingaliro a Jenna ndi omwe amatanthauza. Koma izi ndi momwe mayendedwe amalingaliro awa angawonekere m'tsogolomu:

• Kukonda kumakula kwambiri: Chilakolako ichi chikhoza kukhala chothandizira kugwirizana kwa nthawi yaitali kapena a maubale okhalitsa ndi attachment. Komabe, chisangalalo sichingakhalepo mpaka kalekale ndipo ndipamene chikondi chimabwera
• Chikondi chozama chikutuluka: Kukhala m'chikondi pamapeto pake kumatsegula njira yopita ku chikondi chozama, chopangidwa mwaluso kwambiri chomwe Jenna amachifufuza pakapita nthawi. Ndiwokhwima kwambiri, wopanda sewero komanso china chake kwa nthawi yayitali. Uku ndiko kusiyana pakati pa chikondi ndi chikondi

Wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit akufotokoza maganizo ake pa chikondi: “Ayesa kufotokoza momwe zimakhalira kukhala m’chikondi kwa zaka mazana ambiri m’njira zosiyanasiyana kuyambira m’mabuku, nyimbo, zaluso, ndi zina zotero. Komabe, palibe chomwe chakhala chikuoneka bwino chifukwa palibe chomwe chingayerekezedwe nacho. Ndi chochitika chodzaza ndi zinthu zambiri chomwe sichimatha ndipo sichingafanane nacho.”

2. Chikondi ndi chikondi: Mutha kukonda chilichonse, koma mutha kukhala m'chikondi kokha mwachikondi

Apa pali kusiyana kwenikweni pakati pa mawu awiriwa osokoneza. Kodi mu chikondi zikutanthauza chiyani? Kukhala pachikondi ndi munthu nthawi zambiri kumatanthauza kuti pali chikondi komanso kukopana kwambiri , chinthu chomwe mungamve ngakhale mutachiwona koyamba. Pali china chake chosaneneka chokhudza momwe mumafunira kukhala paubwenzi ndi munthu amene mukumkonda. Mutha kuwaona kudzera m'magalasi a pinki ndikunyalanyaza zinthu zina zonse zokhudza iye zomwe zingakuvutitseni.

Deepak akuti, "Pali chikhumbo chachikulu chokhala nawo osati kutalikirana nawo." Jenna amafuna kukhala pafupi ndi bwenzi lake nthawi zonse ndipo amangoganiza za tsiku lonse. Kumbali inayi, kukonda munthu sikuli koopsa kapena kosonyeza chikondi kwenikweni. Chikondi chenicheni chikhoza kukhalanso cha platonic. Uku ndi kusiyana kumodzi kofunikira pakati pa kukhala mchikondi ndi kukonda wina.

3. Chikondi chenicheni chimakukhazikitsani; Kukhala m'chikondi kumayambitsa kukwezeka kwamalingaliro

Kuchuluka kwa malingaliro okhudzana ndi kukhala m'chikondi kuli ngati kugunda. Uli m'mitambo, wokondwa komanso wosaletseka. Chilichonse m'moyo chimayamba kumva bwino. Koma pamene kukhudzika kwamphamvu ndi kwamphamvu kwatha, mphamvuyo imathera pomwepo. Ngakhale kukhala m'chikondi kuli pafupi ndi malingaliro amphamvu osafuna kusiya, chikondi ndi chomwe chimakugwirani ndikukukumbatirani mukagwa.

Kodi tingafotokoze bwanji kukhala m'chikondi? Tikuyang'ana Reddit. Fetishiste, wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit, analemba kuti, "Ndikuganiza kuti 'm'chikondi' imasintha kukhala chikondi chogwirizana kwambiri pakapita nthawi, kenako nthawi zina imakukumbutsani chifukwa chake mumakonda kwambiri mnzanu wanu. M'chikondi ndi kutengeka; chikondi ndi kukondana."

Ndiye mumadziwa bwanji ngati mumakonda munthu poyamba? Chikondi chimathamanga mozama kuposa momwemo ndipo sichimangokhalira nthawi zabwino pamodzi. Ndilokhazikika komanso lokhazikika. Mukamakonda munthu, mumasamala za momwe akumvera komanso moyo wake. Chikondi chanu chimakukhazikitsani pamene kukwera kwa chikondi kumachepa.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kukonda Munthu Winawake Vs Kukhala M'chikondi - Kusiyana 15 Koona

4. Kukhala m'chikondi ndi kukhala nacho, pamene chikondi chimangoyang'ana pa kukula

Kodi kukhala m'chikondi kumatanthauza chiyani, mukufunsa? Tiyeni tibwererenso kwa Jenna kuti tiwunikenso chikondi ndi kusiyana kwa chikondi. Akufuna kulengeza chikondi chake kwa bwenzi lake kudziko lonse lapansi. Iye sangaleke kuganizila mmene mnzakeyo amamukhudzila komanso mmene amawaitana kuti ndi ake. Ndipo zimenezo n’zosiyana pang’ono ndi chikondi chenicheni. Tiyeni titengere malingaliro a Jenna:

• Mukakhala m'chikondi, mumafuna kuti akhale anu: Mukufuna kuuza aliyense kuti mnzanu wofunika ndi wanu, pafupifupi ngati kudzitengera nokha munthu ameneyo. Mumamva bwino podziwa kuti ndi anu
• Chikondi chimabwera pambuyo pake: Pakakhala chikondi chokha, mumangoyang'ana pakupanga china chatsopano komanso chachikulu ndi munthuyo popanda kukhala nacho. Iwo sali patsogolo panu ngakhale, koma sizipangitsa chikondi kukhala chochepa. Izi ndi zomwe zimachitika nthawi zambiri m'magawo omaliza a chikondi kapena pambuyo pake magawo a ubale

5. Kukhala m'chikondi ndikumverera kwamphamvu pamene kukonda wina ndi chisankho

Jenna sanasankhe kugwa m'chikondi ndi bwenzi lake. Izo zinangochitika ndipo zinamuchotsa iye kumapazi ake. Anamva kukopa ndi matsenga onse omwe adabwera nawo. Mphamvu ndi chisangalalo, kumverera kong'amba-kung'ung'udza, iye ali mutu pamutu pa chiyanjano chimenecho. Ndizofanana ndi malingaliro akale okhudza chikondi chomwe adamva, akukula.

Komabe, chikondi n’chosiyana pang’ono ndi chimenecho. Mukhoza kukonda munthu pokhapokha mutasankha kumukonda. Zimakupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu otetezeka komanso olamulira, m'malo mokhala muzambiri zomwe simungaganizire china chilichonse kupatula iwo. Palibe kusesa pamapazi okhudzidwa, koma pali kudzipereka kwakukulu pamlingo wozama. Ndi sitepe yomwe mumatenga ndi kusankha komwe mumapanga ndikupitilirabe, tsiku limodzi panthawi.

6. Chikondi chikhoza kukupatsani malo pamene kukhala m'chikondi kumakupangitsani kumamatira

Kukhala m'chikondi ndi kukonda wina - ndi zosiyana bwanji? Kukonda kapena kukondedwa ndi chinthu chokongola chomwe chimakupatsani zosangalatsa zonse za moyo, komanso kumakupatsani mwayi wokhala munthu wanu. Chimenechi ndi chimodzi mwa kusiyana kwakukulu pakati pa chikondi chenicheni ndi kungokhala m’chikondi.

• Mukumamatira mukakhala m'chikondi: Eya, kumva kukhala m’chikondi kaŵirikaŵiri kumakupangitsani kufuna kumamatira kwa wokondedwa wanu. Zili ngati gawo la honeymoon la ubale. Nthawi zonse mumafuna kukhala nawo pafupi ndipo mumafuna kuthera nthawi yochuluka momwe mungathere
• Chikondi chenicheni chimalola malo ochulukirapo: Kumbali ina, chikondi chimakupatsani mphamvu zopatsa munthuyo malo osasokoneza ubale wanu. Mukufuna kukhala ndi nthawi yocheza nawo koma, nthawi yomweyo, ndinu otetezeka kuti musamve kufunika kolowa m'malo awo kapena kuwopseza.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Momwe Mungakulitsire Malo Mu Ubwenzi

7. Kukhala m'chikondi kumatanthauza kuti mumatsogoleredwa ndi momwe amakumverani

Pankhani ya 'kukhala ndi chikondi pa wina ndi mnzake', mwina uku ndiko kusiyana komwe munthu angamve kwambiri. Choncho ngati inu kwathunthu anadabwa mmene mumamvera munthu wina watsopano ubwenzi, kuyang'ana pansi ndi kuunika mmene maganizo anu amalamulidwa ndi wapadera munthu. Nazi mafunso ena omwe muyenera kudzifunsa:

• Kodi maganizo awo nthawi zambiri amakhudza inenso?
• Kodi ndimadalira pa iwo?
• Kodi ndimasangalala akamandikonda kwambiri?

Ngati mwayankha mafunso ambiri mwa awa motsimikiza, pali mwayi waukulu kuti mumakonda mnzanu ndipo simunafike poti zinthu zimayamba kumveka bwino komanso zosavuta. Mungafunike kudziwa kusiyana pakati pa chikondi ndi kukondana , chifukwa ichi chingakhale chikondi chachiwiri. Ngati umunthu wanu wonse ndi malingaliro anu zimadalira pa iwo, muli mumkhalidwe wokondana kwambiri womwe nthawi zambiri umasiyana ndi chikondi chenicheni chifukwa chikondi chachiwiricho chimamasula kwambiri.

8. Chikondi ndi chamuyaya

Simukusowa katswiri wazamisala kuti akuuzeni kuti chikondi chenicheni ndi chinthu chomwe sichidzatha. Kukonda munthu wina kumakhala kokhalitsa poyerekezera ndi kukhala m'chikondi. Kukhala m'chikondi kumakhalabe kudzikonda mwanjira ina, komwe mumangowasamalira mpaka nthawi yomwe amakusamalirani. Nthawi yomwe amasiya, mumamva ngati muyime komanso mukuyesera kusuntha ndi kukonda anthu ena. Komabe, chikondi chenicheni chimapitirizabe ngakhale mutakhala ndi ena, chimapitirizabe ngakhale pamene mumakonda ena.

Nawa malingaliro omaliza kuti mumvetse kusiyana kwenikweni pakati pa chikondi chenicheni ndi chikondi cha mufilimu kapena mtundu wa chikondi champhamvu chomwe munthu amamva poyamba. Ngati munadzipezapo pamalo pomwe mumanena kuti “Ndili naye pachibwenzi koma sindimukondabe ” kapena “Ndimamukonda koma sindikumukondanso,” dziwani kuti mutha kukonda munthu wina osamukonda. Ndipo mosemphanitsa. Pamene chilakolako, chilakolako, ndi kukongola kwa thupi kukusowa, koma mukusangalala kukhala ndi mnzanu, ndiye kuti ndi chikondi chenicheni. Simukuwakonda. Ndipo chimenecho ndi kusiyana kwina kwenikweni koti muganizire.

Pamene mudamva koyamba Jenna akunena kuti ali pachibwenzi, mwina mudaganiza kuti, “Chabwino, ndi chikondi chakale chabwino.” Tikukhulupirira kuti tsopano mwamvetsa komwe ali pakadali pano muubwenzi wake. Pambuyo pokambirana za kusiyana pakati pa malingaliro awa, ziyenera kunenedwa kuti chikondi ndi chikondi si mpikisano. Palibe mtundu wina wa chikondi womwe ndi wapamwamba, ndipo wina si wabwino kuposa unzake. Pali malo a mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya chikondi padziko lapansi ndipo chofunika kwambiri ndichakuti chikondi chanu chibweretse chisangalalo kwa inu.

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