Kodi Kufooka kwa Womanzer ndi Chiyani?

Nditakumana ndi Cal, ndikanakonda ndikanawerenga buku lotchedwa What is a womanized wofooka? Ndinkadziwa mbiri ya Cal ngati 'wogunda ndi kuthawa'. Sanaonekepo ndi mkazi yemweyo kawiri. Komabe Hollywood inandipangitsa kukhulupirira kuti n'zotheka kukhala pachibwenzi ndi mkazi wokonda akazi ndikumusintha. Sindiyenera kubwerezanso nkhani yomvetsa chisoni ya momwe anandisiya mopanda ulemu patatha miyezi itatu.

Mumamva mawu oti 'womanizer' ndi zithunzi za ochita sewero onse omwe adasewera James Bond, kapena amuna omwe ali ndi magalimoto apamwamba komanso khosi lalikulu akubwera m'maganizo mwawo. Amadziwika kuti alibe kudzipereka. Komabe, ndi osatsutsika. Koma kodi maganizo a munthu womanizer ndi otani? Ili ndi limodzi mwa mafunso ochepa omwe tikambirane m'nkhaniyi ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Dr. Aman Bhonsle (Ph.D., PGDTA), yemwe ndi katswiri pa uphungu wa ubale ndi Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy.

Kodi Kukhala Womanizer Kumatanthauza Chiyani?

Tisanalowe m'mafunso akuti - Kodi chofooka cha munthu wokonda akazi n'chiyani? Kapena choti muchite mukakhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu wokonda akazi ? - tiyeni tifufuze mawuwo okha. Mawu akuti 'wokonda akazi' poyamba ankatanthauza 'kupanga chinthu kukhala cha akazi'. Palibe kumveka bwino kwa momwe mawuwa anapezera tanthauzo lake lamakono. Dr. Bhonsle akufotokoza mawuwa motere:

• Wokonda akazi ndi munthu amene ali ndi maubwenzi angapo wamba ndi akazi ndipo samathetsa wina asanayambe wina 
• Amapereka chithunzithunzi chabodza chakuti ali yekhayekha, pomwe sadzipatula kwa aliyense
• Pamakhala kusowa poyera nthawi zonse za momwe ubalewo ulili
• Khalidweli lingakhale njira yoyesera ndi chikondi asanazindikire chomwe chikondi chili
• Amaganiza za akazi ngati tinthu tating'ono tomwe timasangalatsa kwakanthawi. Amapitilira pamene wina wonyezimira abwera
• Kodi kufooka kwa mkazi wokonda akazi ndi chiyani? Kodi n’chiyani chimawapangitsa kudziimba mlandu? Zimatengera munthuyo. Okonda akazi ena amadziona kuti ndi olakwa, pamene ena amaona kukhala kosavuta kuchoka ku liwongo limenelo mwa kuteteza zochita zawo

Ganizirani za Barney Stinson kuchokera mu buku la How I Met Your Mother. Si iye yekha amene analemba buku la masewero. Kodi mudamvapo za Neil Strauss ndi Daryush Valizadeh? Intaneti yadzaza ndi aphunzitsi odzitcha kuti ndi okonda chibwenzi. Mwina mwa ojambula awa amapereka ma workshop ndikulemba mabuku onyoza akazi omwe amaphunzitsa momwe angakope akazi kuti azingosangalala.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Momwe Mungauzire Munthu Kuti Mumamukonda Popanda Kuwononga Zomwe Muli Nazo

Okonda akazi ambiri kaŵirikaŵiri amagwiritsira ntchito njira zachinyengo zofananako kuti akope akazi ambiri momwe angathere. Koma akamva kuti ali ndi mlandu, zomwe sizichitikachitika kawirikawiri, amatha kuchita zinthu mwachinyengo kwambiri. Hollywood ikhoza kukulimbikitsani kuti mubwere ndi malipiro abwino kwambiri kwa okonda akazi. Koma masewera amalingaliro amangowononga nthawi yanu. Ndi bwino kukumana naye kapena kupitirira.

Nchiyani Chimachititsa Kuti Mwamuna Akhale Wokonda Akazi?

Mosiyana ndi zimene anthu ambiri amakhulupirira, okonda akazi samangokhalira kugonana. Kufunika kwa mphamvu kuli pamwamba pa mndandanda wawo. Womanizers amafuna kulamulira awo, ndi anu, maganizo nthawi zonse. Choncho adzachita zonse zomwe angathe kuti akukondweretseni. Mphatso, chithumwa, kaduka pang'ono, pazzazz yonse. Nazi zifukwa zingapo zomwe angachitire zimenezo:

1. Zizolowezi za Narcissistic

Kodi womanizer personality disorder ndi chinthu? Tinafunsa Dr. Bhonsle. Iye akukana kukhalapo kwa matenda okhudza akazi ndipo anati: “Si bwino kusonyeza khalidwe lililonse ngati chizindikiro cha matenda amisala popanda kudziwa bwinobwino matendawo. Yankho la funso - Kodi kufooka womanizer ndi chiyani? - chagona mu chikhalidwe ichi.

Iye akuwonjezera kuti, “Nthawi zambiri amakhulupirira kuti ndi anthu apamwamba ndipo motero, ayenera kukhala ndi mwayi wapadera. Izi zimawalola kuganiza za anthu ena ngati zipangizo zosewerera nazo.” Kafukufuku wasonyeza kuti kwa anthu odzikonda, chikondi chili ngati kusewera masewera. Akadziwa kuti mukuwafuna, zimakhala ngati apambana nkhondoyo. Kuchita chibwenzi ndi munthu wodzikonda kungakhale kopweteka chifukwa akangomaliza, amapitiliza kugonjetsa ena.

2. Nkhani za ubwana

Dr. Bhonsle anati: “Panyumba pangakhale munthu wina wachitsanzo chabwino amene anachitapo khalidwe limeneli m’mbuyomo. Kapena amachititsidwa kukhulupirira kuti iyi ndiyo njira yokhayo yopezera chikondi, ndipo njira ina iriyonse idzadzetsa ululu. Chotero imeneyi imakhala njira yolimbana ndi vutolo.

Kuvulala kwakuthupi kapena kwamaganizo muubwana kungawonekere m'zaka zakumapeto monga vuto lodzipereka. Kuvulala kosatha kungabwererenso ngati njira yosakonzekera bwino yolumikizirana ndi mwamuna akakula. Angakhale ndi vuto lokhalabe paubwenzi, koma khalidweli silingakhale lokhazikika. Izi zimapangitsa kuti munthu akhulupirire kuti munthu wokonda akazi 'asinthe', zomwe zimapangitsa kuti akumane ndi mavuto ambiri.

3. Lingaliro lokwezeka lachimuna

Ndinafunsa Dr. Bhonsle kuti: Kodi kufooka kwa munthu wokonda akazi n’chiyani? Iye anayamba ndi kufotokoza momwe kukonda amuna kumakhudzira maganizo a munthu wokonda akazi. Iye anati, “Taganizirani momwe kukonda amuna kumagulitsidwira, monga m’ma TV monga Californication . Ngati mwamuna akuganiza kuti moyo winawake ndi wofunika atayamba kukhudzidwa ndi kukonda amuna m’ma TV otchuka, ndiye kuti akhoza kuyamba moyo umenewo. Koma zimenezo sizingasangalatse anthu omwe ali pafupi naye chifukwa mtundu uwu wa kukonda amuna ulibe chidwi.”

Iye anapitiriza kunena kuti, “Kuthamanga kwa magazi kwakhala kokhazikika monga njira yosonyezera umuna. Pamene anthu okwanira ayamba kukhulupirira, kumakhala mbali ya chikhalidwe cha anthu.” Kumapereka catharsis kwa amuna amene amawona amuna ena akuchita zozizwitsa zoposa zaumunthu. 

Choncho, kukhala ndi akazi ambiri kumawonjezera lingaliro la mwamuna. Kafukufuku akusonyezanso kuti amuna nthawi zambiri amanena kuti amuna ndi akazi ambiri kuposa akazi. Ofufuza amati izi ndi 'zolakwika' chifukwa chofuna kutsatira malamulo a amuna ndi akazi.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Mphatso 12 Zapamwamba Kwa Mnzanu wa Scorpio - Mphatso Kwa Iye Ndi Iye

4. Kufuna kugonana

Kufunika kwa kugonana ndi chinthu chachibadwa. Koma akatswiri a zamaganizo amati amuna amafunikira kugonana ndi 'akazi osiyanasiyana'. Izi zimatchedwa Coolidge Effect ndipo zatsimikiziridwa ndi kafukufuku . Chiphunzitso cha kusintha kwa zinthu chikusonyeza kuti chilakolako chofuna kutenga pakati kwa akazi ambiri chikhoza kukhala chifukwa chofuna kubereka. Komabe, sikulakwa kunyenga akazi chifukwa chongofuna kugonana.

Kodi Zofooka za Womanizer ndi chiyani?

Kodi anthu okonda akazi amamva chisoni? Nthawi zina, nthawi zina ayi. Komabe, ngati mukuyang'anabe malipiro abwino kwambiri kwa okonda akazi, ndiye kuti tiwulule mu psychology ya womanizer. Ndiye, chofooka cha mkazi wokonda akazi ndi chiyani ngati ali ndi umunthu wonyansa? Chilichonse chomwe chimagwedeza malingaliro ake odzikuza chidzamusokoneza. Nazi zofooka zake:

1. Kusowa chidwi kwa mkazi

Ngati kupanga mkazi kuti ayambe kukondana nawo ndi masewera okonda akazi, ndiye kuti kusalandira chidwi kuchokera kwa mkazi ndikofanana ndi kutaya mu masewerawo. Ngati mukudziwa kuti mwamuna ndi wokonda akazi, musamupatse chidwi. Ayerekeze kuti ndi wosaoneka. Mudzamupangitsa kukwawa mkati mwa khungu lake mkati mwa mphindi zochepa. 

2. Kusamalira mwamuna wina

Anthu odzikonda kwambiri ndi ansanje mwachibadwa. Amavutika kuyamikira anthu ena, makamaka omwe amawaona ngati opikisana nawo. Kusonyeza chidwi chenicheni kwa mwamuna wina ndi chimodzi mwa zinthu zomwe mungachite kuti mukope chidwi chake akakunyalanyazani . Mukamalemekeza kwambiri mwamuna wina, mkwiyo wake umawonjezeka.

3. Kuopa kuwonekera

Dr. Bhonsle anati: “Kuopa kuonedwa ndi kucheza ndi anthu ndi chimodzi mwa zinthu zimene amaopa kwambiri. Womanizers amagwira ntchito pazovomerezeka zomwe amalandira kuchokera kwa aliyense. Ngati apeza kuti anzawo kapena achibale awo salankhulanso nawo chifukwa cha khalidwe lawo, akhoza kukhala omvetsa chisoni.

8 Zoipa Kukhala Womanzer

Ngakhale mwamuna aliyense amangoganiza zotchedwa Casanova, kodi ndi bwino kukhala wokonda akazi? Ayi. Kufuna kukhala ndi zibwenzi zogonana mwachisawawa ndi zongogwirizana ndi zabwino, koma kunama mwadala kuti ugone kuti 'umve' ngati mwamuna? Osati kwambiri. Mpaka pano, wokonda akazi nthawi zonse amakhala wotayika, koma kukhala wokonda akazi kumatha kuvulaza mwamunayo m'njira zotsatirazi: 

1. Kukwera kwakanthawi

Ofufuza za Coolidge Effect adapeza kuti kufunikira kwa kugonana mwa mwamuna kumachepa pamene adapatsidwa chibwenzi chimodzi chokha. Kuphatikiza apo, chisangalalo cha munthu wokonda akazi chimakhala pakupambana masewera amisala muubwenzi , osati kugonana. Dr. Bhonsle akuti, "Samakhalabe muubwenzi nthawi yayitali kuti awone komwe zikanathera. Moyo wawo ndi mndandanda wa zokondweretsa za kanthawi kochepa." Mosiyana ndi chikondi, chomwe chimapereka chikhutiro cha nthawi yayitali muubwenzi wodzipereka, kugonana ndi akazi kungapereke zotsatira zonga kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo ndi chikhutiro cha kanthawi kochepa.

2. Kuponderezedwa m'maganizo

Kodi chofooka cha munthu wokonda akazi n’chiyani? Dr. Bhonsle akuti, “Nthawi zina, anthu okonda akazi amaletsa chilakolako chawo chofuna kumva malingaliro chifukwa sakuganiza kuti angathe kuchita bwino kuposa pamenepo. Amangokhalira kugwedezeka ndi zomwe adalenga. Nthawi zina, saletsa ngakhale malingaliro mwadala, ndi mwangozi. Achita izi kwa nthawi yayitali, sadziwa njira ina iliyonse. Chifukwa chake, nthawi zonse amakhala otopa.” Kuletsa malingaliro a munthu sikungobweretsa matenda amthupi monga momwe kafukufuku watsimikizira komanso kumabweretsa mavuto osatha omwe angalepheretse kuchira ndikupanga mavuto odzidalira.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Ndiyenera Kuthetsa Chibwenzi Changa? Zizindikiro 11 Zosonyeza Kuti Nthawi Yakwana

3. Nkhani zodzidalira

Mukhoza kumvetsetsa kufooka kwa munthu wokonda akazi kuchokera ku maganizo a munthu wokonda akazi. Monga munthu wodzikonda, kudziona kuti ndi wofunika kumachokera ku zomwe ena amawaganizira. Chifukwa chake, amayesetsa kulamulira maganizo awo pa iwo. Izi zimapangitsa kuti ena akhutire. Kudalira kwawo kosalekeza pa kutsimikizika ndi chimodzi mwa zinthu zomwe mumayembekezera mukamakonda mwamuna wosadzidalira.

4. Maloto oipa okhaokha

Ngati mukukumbukira filimu ya Ghosts of Girlfriends Past , mukudziwa zomwe ndikunena. Dr. Bhonsle akuti, "Pambuyo pa nthawi, zosankha zanu zimakhala zochepa kwambiri. Zingamveke ngati mwachepetsa luso lanu lokumana ndi chinthu chakuya komanso chenicheni. Zina zonse zimakhala zosakhalitsa komanso zothamanga kwambiri kotero kuti mulibe nthawi yoti mutsegule mtima wanu. Ndipo mukakonzeka kukhala ndi mnzanu, mwina zingakhale zovuta kuti mumvetse zimenezo."

Maphwando onse atatha, abwenziwo athamangitsidwa, ndipo kugonjetsa kwawo komaliza kwachoka ataona akukopana ndi munthu wina, kodi okonda akazi ali osungulumwa? Inde. Ndipo zimakhala zoipitsitsa ndi hangover. Ichi ndichifukwa chake ngati muli pachibwenzi ndi womanizer, mudzaona kuti nthawi zonse kuchita chinachake. Zambiri za izo ndi kungodzisokoneza okha ku kusungulumwa. 

5. Kusiya kukhulupirirana

Nkhani zikafika m’misewu za munthu wokonda akazi, zimakhala zovuta kuti apeze zibwenzi. Azimayi amavutika kuwakhulupirira ngakhale pa zinthu zosavuta. Nthawi zonse amafufuzidwa. Ndizowona kuti akazi amapeza okonda akazi kukhala okongola chifukwa cha kukongola kwawo, koma samakhululukiranso njira zawo zachinyengo. Izi zimakhala zovuta ngati wokonda akazi alowa pachibwenzi chifukwa wokondedwa wawo amawakayikira kuti ali ndi chibwenzi.

6. Kutaya ulemu

Chotsatira china cha nkhani zotuluka mwa munthu wokonda akazi ndikuti amataya ulemu wa aliyense nthawi yomweyo. Ndipo ichi ndi chomwe chiri kufooka kwa akazi. Kunama kuti uli m’chikondi kuti ugonane ndi chinyengo, ndipo palibe amene ayenera kuchita zimenezo. Akhoza kupondereza liwongo lawo bwino kuposa ena mwa kupita ku zododometsa zina. Komabe, popanda zododometsa, kupondereza kulakwa kumeneku kungakhale kovuta komanso kowawa kwambiri.

7. Matenda a maganizo

Kodi anthu okonda akazi nthawi zina amamva chisoni? Mwina osati pambuyo poti ayamba kukonda akazi, koma pamapeto pake. Kafukufuku wasonyeza kuti kukhala ndi zibwenzi zambiri zogonana kungayambitse nkhawa, kuvutika maganizo, komanso kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo. Kafukufukuyu akuwona kuti 'chikhalidwe cha maubwenzi osakhala a anthu' ndi chimodzi mwa zifukwa zomwe zachititsa izi.

8. Nyumba ya makadi

Vuto lalikulu kwambiri lokhala mkazi wokonda akazi ndilakuti ngakhale mukumva ngati mukupambana pa chilichonse chomwe mumachita, ndi nyumba yamakhadi chabe. Mumatsala opanda ubale weniweni komanso weniweni, womwe ndi ubale wapamtima ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi. Choyipa kwambiri n'chakuti mumataya mwayi wopeza kapena kusunga ubale wachikondi.

Dr. Bhonsle anati: “Ngakhale mutapeza munthu woyenerera, kodi mungatani kuti musagwere m’chiyeso chimene munachita kwa nthawi yaitali chonchi?

Pomaliza, ngati mukuganiza "kofooka kwa akazi ndi chiyani?" kuti alipirire 'zolakwa' zawo, Dr. Bhonsle ali ndi malingaliro angapo. “M’moyo weniweni, kulanga munthu chifukwa cha kusweka mtima kungabweretse mavuto m’makhalidwe ndi malamulo, anthu amasintha akakonzeka kusintha. 

Ngati munthu akufuna kukhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu wokonda akazi, ayenera kuganizira ubwino ndi kuipa kwake.

Kwa munthu aliyense wokonda akazi amene pomalizira pake akufunsa kuti, “Kodi n’kwabwino kukhala wokonda akazi?”, ndipo akufuna kusintha, Dr. Bhonsle akuti: “Ayenera kuyesa chithandizo chamankhwala. 

Kodi anthu okonda akazi ndi osungulumwa? Akhoza kukhala osungulumwa. Chifukwa chake ngati mukukumana ndi mafunso omwewo ndipo mukufuna chitsogozo, gulu la alangizi ndi akatswiri odziwa bwino ntchito a Bonobology ali pano kuti akuthandizeni. Sikuchedwa kupeza thandizo.

Mphatso Zabwino Za Chokoleti Ndi Mabokosi Osonyeza Chikondi Chanu

Njira 11 Zaukatswiri Zothana ndi Kusudzulana Mwadzidzidzi mu Ubale Wautali

Osakondwa Mu Ubale? Zinthu 7 Zomwe Mungachite

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.