Kuwona Kwaukatswiri - Kodi Ubwenzi Wamwamuna Ndi Chiyani

Kodi ubwenzi ndi mwamuna ndi chiyani? Mawu oyamba omwe mwina amabwera m'maganizo ndi kugonana. Komabe, amuna ndi unansi wapamtima amatambasula kwambiri kuposa kungokhudza kokha ndi kuyandikana kwenikweni. Ubwenzi ukhoza kuzimitsidwa mumitundu yosiyanasiyana - kukambirana kwautali, chisamaliro ndi manja ang'onoang'ono. Ubwenzi umayenda mozama monga momwe mitsempha yanu imachitira ndipo chimake chake sichimafika pachimake pakugonana.

Nthawi zina, amuna amavutika kufotokoza maganizo awo. Izi sizikutanthauza kuti sakufuna kapena kulakalaka ubwenzi wapamtima. Lingaliro la amuna ndi ubwenzi ndi malingaliro obisika omwe amafunikira kufufuza mozama. Mukamvetsetsa bwino malingaliro awo, mutha kupeza yankho la 'kodi ubwenzi ndi mwamuna ndi chiyani?'. Ndikadati ndiyankhe funsoli, ndinganene kuti zinthu zambiri zosayembekezereka zimakhala chifukwa chaubwenzi ndipo pamakhala chisangalalo pakuzindikira ndikuwunika zomwe zili. 

Kuti timvetsetse bwino za amuna komanso ubale wabwino, tidalankhula ndi katswiri wazamisala Dr Vishal Gor (Diploma mu Psychiatric Medicine) yemwe amagwira ntchito pothana ndi vuto la chonde komanso mavuto ogonana. 

Kodi Ubwenzi Umatanthauza Chiyani Kwa Mwamuna - Katswiri Wowonera

Vishal akunena kuti ubwenzi uli ndi tanthauzo lalikulu. Zimaphatikizapo kukondoweza m'njira zosiyanasiyana osati kugonana kokha. Ubwenzi wapamtima nthawi zambiri umasokonekera kwa amuna, motero amatha kuwoneka ngati otchingidwa ndi mpanda. Iye anati: “Kukondana kwa mwamuna kumatanthauza kumudziwa bwino munthu wina ndiponso kumusamalira.” Mwamuna amalakalaka kwambiri ndipo nthawi zambiri amalephera kufotokoza nkhaniyo.

Amuna ndi ubwenzi ndi mutu womwe sunafufuzidwe mokwanira. Kukhala wapamtima wapamtima nthawi zambiri kumawonedwa ngati chinthu chosakhala chachimuna. Komabe, kodi zikutanthauza kuti munthu sangathe kufotokoza ubwenzi wamaganizo kwa mwamuna? Izi sizili choncho. Dziwani kuti si amuna onse omwe ali ofanana. Onse amabwera ndi zokometsera zawozawo zamalingaliro ndi zosowa zachitetezo. Choncho, tiyeni tione chimene ubwenzi ungatanthauze kwa mwamuna. 

1. Ubwenzi wapamtima ndi mwamuna ndi wofunika 

Nthawi zambiri amaganiziridwa kuti amuna samavala mitima yawo pamanja. M'zikhalidwe zambiri, amaphunzitsidwa kutsata tanthauzo lolimba, lokhazikika la kugonana ndi maudindo a amuna ndi akazi. Kaleredwe kawo ndi kakhalidwe ka anthu kaŵirikaŵiri zimawapangitsa kukhala osangalala osatha kufotokoza zakukhosi kwawo. Ngati mwamuna wanu adzipeza kuti alibe mawu muzochitika zovuta, tsopano mukudziwa chifukwa chake. Amamva zonse mkati, komabe, sangathe kufotokoza zakukhosi kwake. 

Koma amuna akamakula amafunafuna chithandizo ndi chitonthozo kwa okondedwa awo. Ubwenzi wapamtima kwa mwamuna ndi wofunika kwambiri chifukwa umalola mwamuna kumasuka ndikukhala pachiwopsezo, kutsanulira malingaliro omwe angakhale adawapondereza kwa zaka zambiri. Komabe, popeza anakwiriridwa ndi zinyalala zakale, n’zotheka kuti mungatenge nthawi kuti mufotokoze za ubwenzi wapamtima ndi mwamuna. Kuti izi zitheke, muyenera kukhala pamlingo womwewo ndi mnzanu.

Vishal anati: “Ubwenzi wapamtima ndi wofunika kwambiri kwa amuna chifukwa palibe ubwenzi umene ungakhalepo kwa nthaŵi yaitali popanda iwo,” anatero Vishal, “Amuna amafuna kusamalidwa ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo.” Kusoŵa ubwenzi wapamtima n’kovuta kwambiri kukhudzanso ubwenzi wakuthupi.

2. Amuna amapeza kuyamikiridwa kukhala okondana

Aliyense amakonda kuyamikira kwabwino. Amuna sali osiyana. Amuna ambiri sangakuuzeni kuti angakonde kumva kuyamikira kwanu. Komabe, zoona zake n’zakuti amachilakalaka mobisa. Kotero inde, kuyamikira kungathe kondweretsa bwenzi lako. Kutsimikizika kumawonjezera chidaliro chawo ndikuwathandiza kuyenda tsiku lonse ndi kasupe mumayendedwe awo. 

Julia, yemwe ndi katswiri wa mapulogalamu a pakompyuta, akufotokoza mmene amachitira zinthu mowolowa manja ndi mawu oyamikira kuti apitirizebe kukondana m’banja lake. Mwamuna wake James, mphunzitsi wamasewera, ndi munthu wamanyazi. Kwa zaka zingapo zapitazi, ndakhala ndikumunyengerera kuti azimasuka nane pomuyamikira. kapena "kumeta kwanu kumamveka bwino" Amachita manyazi, amamva bwino ndipo inenso ndimatha kumva.

Amuna ndi ubwenzi ndizofanana pang'ono - zozizira pang'ono ndipo zimafuna kutentha pang'ono. Kuyamikira kumatha kukhala kuwala komwe kumawatenthetsa ndikutulutsa kufunikira kwawo kwaubwenzi. Kotero, kodi ubwenzi ndi munthu ndi chiyani? Yankho lagona mu chiyamikiro chomwe chingawapangitse kumva kukondedwa, kuyamikiridwa ndi kuvomerezedwa.

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3. Kupanga danga ndi chinsinsi kwa amuna

Kodi ubwenzi ndi mwamuna ndi chiyani? Malo. Maubwenzi ambiri amasokonekera chifukwa cha kusagwirizana pakati pa mgwirizano ndi kudziyimira pawokha. Mabanja ambiri m'masiku awo oyambirira amalumikizana pamodzi. Kenako amalakalaka malo, omwe mnzawo sangakhale wokonzeka kupereka chifukwa choopa kusiyidwa. Nthawi zambiri amuna amalakalaka malo. Mayi angaone kuti zimenezi n’zopanda nzeru. Koma kuti amuna ndi chikondi zibwere pamodzi, amayi ayenera kumvetsetsa chikhumbo cha wokondedwa wawo chofuna kudziimira. 

Malo ndi chinthu chachikulu chomwe chimapangitsa kuti mwamuna azikondana kwambiri. Iwo amakhulupirira danga laumwini limakhala ndi ubale pamodzi. Amuna amakonda kukhala motalikirana kuti akonze zachikondi ndi kukonzanso, kuti athe kubwereranso ndi chikondi. Amuna ambiri amakondanso kupeza njira zothetsera mavuto omwe akubwera pawokha. Motero, malo ndi kudziimira paubwenzi zimakhala zofunika kwambiri. Kupatsa mnzanu malowa kungakhale chizindikiro chachikondi. Zingathandizenso kukulitsa ubwenzi wapamtima m’banja. Mwamuna akawona kuti mukumumvetsa bwino, zimayandikira nonse awiri. Kupatula apo, chikondi sichimangotanthauza kukhala pamodzi nthawi zonse, sichoncho?

4. Amuna amapeza chiyanjano muzokambirana

Kugawana zakukhosi ndi zinsinsi zakuya ndi omwe amalimbikitsa maubwenzi apamwamba, malinga ndi Vishal. Atafunsidwa kuti ubwenzi wapamtima ndi chiyani kwa mwamuna, iye ananena kuti zinthu zaumwini nthawi zambiri zimathandiza kwambiri kulimbikitsa maziko a ubale. Iye anati: “Zili zokhudza kukhala ndi chibwenzi, kuvina, kuyambitsa zinthu zatsopano, kugawana zinsinsi ndi zakukhosi, kupita kukaona malo kapena kukwera maulendo okayenda, kupatsana mphatso, ndi zina zotero,” iye akutero.

Kukambitsirana kungasonyeze mmene ubwenzi wapamtima m’banja kapena unansi umakulirakulira. Amuna ena amakhalabe opanda mpanda kapena alibe mawu ofotokozera malingaliro awo m'masentensi. Izi sizikutanthauza kuti alibe zambiri zoti anene. Mnzake amene anganyengerere mawu amenewa kwa mwamunayo amakhala ndi mwayi woti akhale naye pachibwenzi. 

Kukambitsirana kungavumbule zinsinsi zambiri za amuna ndi ubwenzi wapamtima. Mungawayandikire kwambiri mwa kukambirana nawo ndi kuwadziwitsa kuti ndi malo abwino oti azitha kukhala osatetezeka. Palibe chinthu chinanso chaumwini kapena chapamtima kuposa kudziwa momwe wina wake akumvera. Mwamuna angayamikireni chifukwa chomvera maganizo awo. Komabe, onetsetsani kuti simugwiritsa ntchito malowa kusokoneza malingaliro awo. Malo otetezeka ayenera kukhala otetezeka osasintha kukhala chida chopezera mwayi paubwenzi. 

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5. Thupi limakhala ndi gawo lalikulu

Kufunika kwa ubwenzi wapamtima kwa amuna sikungapeputsidwe. Inde, ubwenzi wapamtima ukhoza kutanthauza zambiri kwa mwamunayo, monga momwe tafotokozera. Koma maonekedwe a thupi ndi ofunika mofanana. Amuna amamvetsa zimenezo ubwenzi ndi wofunika m’banja wa ubale. Kwa amuna, kugonana kungayambitse kugonana. Kaŵirikaŵiri zimakhala zosiyana ndi akazi, kumene kugonana kungayambitse kugonana.

Zikafika kwa amuna ndi ubale, mawonekedwe athupi amatenga gawo lofunikira pano. Amuna amatulutsa oxytocin - hormone yachimwemwe - yochuluka panthawi yogonana. Zimawapangitsa kukhala osatetezeka kwambiri komanso okondana. Komabe, kugonana si zokhazo zomwe ziripo pa ubwenzi wapamtima. Chotero, kodi ubwenzi wakuthupi ungatanthauze chiyani kwa mwamuna?

"Kukondana pathupi sikungokhudzana ndi kugonana, ngakhale kungogwirana pang'ono kumatha kukhala ngati kugwirizana. Kukumbatira wokondedwa wanu, kugwirana chanza, kupsopsonana, kukumbatirana ndi zitsanzo za chikondi popanda kugonana," akufotokoza motero Vishal, akuwonjezera, "Ndi za kukhudza pang'ono, kusisita mapewa awo ndi kudyetsa kuseri kwa khosi," akuwonjezera Vishal. 

6. Kukhala ndi chinenero chachikondi ndi wapamtima

Nthawi zina chikondi chimasowa polankhulana. Koma ngati ayang’aniridwa mosamalitsa, okwatirana kaŵirikaŵiri amagwiritsira ntchito zitsimikiziro zaumwini za chikondi kufotokoza zakukhosi kwawo. Ikhoza kukhala chilankhulo chawo chapadera chachikondi. Zilankhulo zachikondi zilipo mumagulu onse awiri. Pali osachepera mitundu isanu ya zilankhulo zachikondi. Mukungoyenera kudziwa zomwe zimakuchitirani inu. 

Chinachake chaumwini komanso chapadera monga chilankhulo chachikondi chimamva ngati chapamtima kwa amuna. Ndi chinsinsi chosungidwa bwino kotero kuti lingaliro lake likhoza kukopa amuna. Zimawapangitsa kukhala otsimikiza kuti amagawana nanu zina zakuya komanso zaumwini. Kukhazikitsa chinenero chachikondi ndi sitepe yaubwenzi wapamtima wa mwamuna pamene umakondana umene umatsimikizira kulimba mu ubalewo. 

Yankho loti "ubwenzi ndi chiyani kwa mwamuna?" mwina ndizosavuta kuposa momwe zimaganiziridwa. Yankho lake lagona pakuyankhira mayankho a mafunso awiri ofunikira omwe amapanga maziko a nkhaniyi - kodi ubwenzi wakuthupi umatanthauza chiyani kwa mwamuna komanso momwe ubwenzi wapamtima umatanthauza kwa mwamuna. 

Ibibazo

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