Kodi Chifundo Kugonana N'chiyani? 10 Zizindikiro Mwamvera Chifundo Kugonana

Kugonana kumaonedwa kuti ndi njira yosonyezera chikondi ndi chilakolako. Ndizochitika zachilendo pakati pa anthu omwe ali ndi chilakolako chogonana ndi okondedwa awo. Komabe, nthawi zina, maubwenzi amatha kugwera mumsampha wa kugonana kwachifundo. Izi zimachitika ngati m'modzi akuvutika ndi chilakolako chogonana kapena sakumva kudzutsidwa ndi wokondedwa wake.

Zikatere, pofuna kupewa kukana kugonana mobwerezabwereza komanso kusokoneza mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo, anthu ambiri amayamba kugonjera ngakhale pamene sakumva. Mwachibadwa ndiye, kugonana kwachifundo sikusangalatsa kwa mnzanu amene akukuchitirani ngati udindo wa chiyanjano.

Anthu omwe amagonana ndi chifundo mwina sakudziwa kapena amazengereza kuvomereza. Ena amakhulupirira kuti kugonana kwachifundo n’kwabwino, pamene ena amaganiza kuti ndi nkhanza ndipo kungathe kuwononga ubwenzi. Kaya kugonana kwachifundo ndi njira yabwino paubwenzi wanu kapena ayi, ndi kwa inu kusankha. Koma, izi zisanachitike, muyenera kudziwa chomwe kwenikweni kugonana kwachifundo kapena kugonana kwachifundo kumatanthauza.

Kodi Chifundo Kugonana N'chiyani?

Kugonana kwachisoni kumadziwika ndi kusakhutira ndi chisangalalo, makamaka kwa phwando lopanda chidwi. Nthawi zambiri anthu amachitirana chifundo pofuna kungofuna kugonana, popanda kukumana ndi zambiri kapena kukhumba chisangalalo chenicheni chakugonana. Nthawi zambiri zimachitika pamene mnzanuyo alidi maganizo ndipo simuli koma simukufuna kuwakhumudwitsa.  

Munthu akamagonana ndi chifundo kapena chisoni, saganizira kwenikweni zoyesa njira zosiyanasiyana kuti asangalale kwambiri kapena kuyesa pabedi. Maganizo awo ndi 'kupirira' mchitidwewo chifukwa cha chisangalalo cha mnzawo ndipo amayembekezera kuti zithe.

Ndi nkhani yachidule ya kusokoneza chikondi ndi chisoni ndi kupereka nsembe zofuna zanu pa guwa la ubale wanu. Ngakhale kusadzikonda kumeneku kwakhala kukondweretsedwa ndi kutamandidwa kwa zaka zambiri, siubwenzi wabwino. Ngati mukudzikakamiza kuchita chinthu chomwe simukufuna, mobwerezabwereza, mudzayamba kukwiyira mnzanuyo.

Kusiyapo pyenepi, ‘kupereka manungo anu’ kuna munthu thangwi ya ntsisi peno ntsisi, kusakhalambo kulemedza munthu unango. Dziyeseni nokha mu nsapato za munthu winayo, ndipo ganizirani, mungamve bwanji ngati mnzanuyo atakhala nanu pachibwenzi kokha chifukwa cha chifundo osati chifukwa chofuna kutero? Kuchitira chifundo kwa mkazi ndi mwamuna wake kungawononge kudzidalira kwake ndi kumuchitiranso chifundo.

Zodziwika bwino za kugonana kwachifundo

Kudziwa chomwe chiri chifundo kugonana ndikumvetsetsa ngati ubale wanu wadzala ndi chizolowezi ichi kungakhale zinthu ziwiri zosiyana. Ngati mukuganiza kuti mgwirizano wanu wapamtima ndi mnzanuyo umadalira kugonana kwachifundo koma osadziwa ngati ndi choncho, samalani izi:

• Kuwoneratu pang'ono: Kugonana kwachifundo kumaphatikizapo kuwoneratu pang'ono chifukwa m'modzi mwa zibwenzi alibe chidwi ndi mchitidwewo
• Palibe zosangalatsa: Ngati mulibe chisangalalo kapena kudzutsidwa panthawi ya mchitidwewo, zitha kukhala chifukwa mukugonana ndi wokondedwa wanu chifukwa chachifundo.
• Kupatula pamalingaliro: Pamene akugonana ndi chifundo, munthuyo amadzimva kuti ali kutali. Popeza mukusangalala ndi mchitidwewu, zimakuvutani kukhalabe panthawiyo. M'malo mwake, kugonana kumakhala ngati chinthu chakunja kwa thupi kwa inu, zomwe zimakupangitsani kumva ngati mukuwona anthu awiri akugonana.
• Kupanda kuchitapo kanthu: Munthu amene amagonana naye chifundo sangakhale wowolowa manja pabedi. Ngati muli pachibwenzi ndi wokondedwa wanu chifukwa simukufuna nenani kuti ayi ku kugonana nthawi inanso, simungayambe kuchitapo kanthu pogona. M'malo mwake, mumalola wokondedwa wanu kuti aziwongolera ndikuchita zomwe akufuna
• Ubwenzi umakhala wopanda pake: Munthu wachifundo adzakhalanso wosakumbukira mchitidwe wonse wa kugonana. Mchitidwewo umakhala wopanda kanthu, wokhazikika, wofupikitsidwa komanso wolunjika kumaliseche
• Distate pakugonana: Kugonana kwachifundo kumayamba kuwoneka ngati ntchito yotopetsa ndipo munthu wachifundo amatha kuipidwa nayo m'kupita kwanthawi.

Kuwerenga kofanana: Mitundu 8 ya Ubwenzi Wapamtima Mu Ubwenzi

Kodi munthu angagonane ndi munthu amene sakumufuna?

Zimaganiziridwa kuti munthu amagonana ndi munthu amene amamukonda. Koma izi sizingakhale choncho kwa aliyense. Anthu ena amagonana ndi okondedwa awo ngakhale atakhala kuti alibe chidwi chogonana nawo. Izi zikudzutsa mafunso oyenerera: Kodi mungakonde munthu chifukwa cha chifundo? Kodi mungakonde munthu chifukwa chomumvera chisoni? Kodi zimakhudza bwanji psyche yanu komanso ubale wanu ndi okondedwa wanu?

Yankho la mafunsowa lagona chifukwa chomwe akazi amachitira chifundo kapena chifukwa chomwe abambo amavomereza kugonana ngakhale sakumva:

• Chifukwa cha chisangalalo cha mnzanu: Kugonana ndi bwenzi ngakhale simukumva kukopeka naye kapena kuyatsidwa ndi iwo kumatanthauza kuti mukuchita kuti winayo akhale wosangalala komanso wokhutira.
• Kukulitsa kukoma kwake: Nthawi zina, anthu amatha kupitiriza kugonana ndi munthu amene sakumufuna, kuti akhale ndi chidwi ndi chilakolako chogonana. Izi zimawonekera makamaka ngati anthu omwe amasemphana maganizo kapena akukana za kugonana kwawo. Ngati wanu mwamuna ndi gay, mwachitsanzo, akhoza kupitiriza kugonana nanu, ngakhale pang'onopang'ono, chifukwa sangakhale wokonzeka kutuluka m'chipinda chogona.
• Kuopa kutaya ubwenzi: Anthu ena amalolera kukopeka ndi okondedwa awo ndikuwachitira chifundo pogonana chifukwa choopa kuti ubwenzi wawo ulephereka ndipo ngati satero. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zifukwa zomwe zimachititsa akazi kuchitira chifundo kugonana. Nthawi zina, amuna nawonso amadzikakamiza kuti achite chiwerewere ngakhale atakhala kuti sanadzuke mokwanira kuti asakhumudwitse wokondedwa wawo.
• Kudzitamandira pakugona: Pakhoza kukhala anthu ena omwe amachitira chifundo kugonana kotero kuti adzitamandira kuti agona

Komabe, kugonana kotereku ndi kosayenera, kosakhutiritsa komanso kosasangalatsa. Akatswiri a maubwenzi amaona kuti kugonana mwachifundo n’kopanda chilungamo kwa onse awiri. Komabe, muubwenzi wautali, wokhazikika, mwayi woti mupereke zilakolako za mnzanuyo ngakhale mulibe chidwi ndi zogonana, kapena iwo muzanu, kangapo sizingalephereke.

Malingana ngati izi ndizochitika kawirikawiri ndipo mumasangalala ndi kugonana kolimba kutsekereza magawo osakhalitsa a nyengo youma kapena kusowa chilakolako, sizinthu zomwe muyenera kuchita nazo mantha. Komabe, mokulira, kugonana kwachifundo kuyenera kupewedwa kapena pafupipafupi kuyenera kukhala kochepa muubwenzi.

Kuwerenga kofanana: Chifukwa chake ubwenzi ndi wofunika monga momwe amachitira zinthuzo

Zizindikiro 10 Zosonyeza Kuti Mwachitira Chifundo Kugonana

Lingaliro lenileni la kugonana kwachifundo limakhazikika pamalingaliro kuti mnzake wachifundo amakhala womasuka komanso ali bwino ndi lingaliro lonse. Mukusankha kugonana chifukwa chomumvera chisoni chifukwa mumasamala za wokondedwa wanu ndipo simukufuna kumukhumudwitsa kapena kumukhumudwitsa.

Komabe, ngati mukukakamizidwa kapena kukakamizidwa kugonana ndipo chilolezo chanu chikunyalanyazidwa , ndiye kuti kugwiriridwa kapena kugwiriridwa.

Mumasokonezekabe ngati kugonana kwachifundo ndi gawo la maubwenzi anu apamtima ndi mnzanu? Samalani izi 10 zizindikiro za chikondi chachifundo ndi kugonana kwachifundo:

1. Simuyambitsa kugonana

Kodi nthawi zonse ndi mnzanu amene amayambitsa ubwenzi wapamtima pakati pa inu nonse? Ngati inde, ndiye kuti simuli ofunitsitsa kuyambitsa kugonana ndipo pamapeto pake mukugonana mwachifundo pamene wokondedwa wanu wayambitsa.

Atakhala ndi ana awiri, chilakolako cha Carla chogonana ndi mphuno. Poyamba, iye ndi mwamuna wake, Mark, ankaganiza kuti inali nthawi yochepa koma Carla sanamubwezeretse libido. Patapita nthawi, anasiya kuuza Mark kuti alibe chidwi chofuna kugonana chifukwa chakuti maganizo oti angamukhumudwitse poti amukaniza anamukhumudwitsa kwambiri.

Choncho, anayamba kugonana ndi mwamuna wake n’kumamunyengerera kuti ateteze maganizo ake. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zifukwa zazikulu zomwe akazi amachitira chifundo kugonana.

2. Mwayamba kudana ndi kugonana

Mukagonana ndi wokondedwa wanu pazifukwa zilizonse pafupipafupi, ndiye kuti pamapeto pake mudzayamba kudana ndi kugonana. Lingaliro la kukhala pachibwenzi ndi wokondedwa wanu lidzakuthandizani kuti mukhale okhumudwa komanso okhumudwa.

Lingaliro la kugonana limayamba kukukhumudwitsani, ndipo mumayamba kuopa kuti mnzanuyo adzayesa kukugonanani ndipo muyenera kuvomereza kuti muyambenso kugonana mwachifundo. Izi zitha kukhala vuto lofala pakati pa okwatirana.

Mukaupaka nthawi yayitali pansi pa kapeti, zimakhala zovuta kuthetsa.

3. Mukungofuna kuthetsa mchitidwe wogonana mwamsanga

Izi zimachitika chifukwa simunachitepo kanthu ndipo simukumva kukhutitsidwa nazo. Simuli m'malingaliro owoneratu ndipo mukungofuna kuti zitheke. Mukugonana ndi munthu amene simukukopeka naye, ndiye mukungofuna kuti muthane naye posachedwa.

Ngakhale munthu ameneyo ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu kwa nthawi yaitali ndipo mudakali nayebe chikondi, mukhoza kusiya kuwafuna ndikupita njira yogonana ndi chifundo. Zikatero, si nkhani ya chikondi ndi chifundo chosokoneza.

Mutha kumukondabe wokondedwa wanu koma osadzutsidwabe ndi iwo. Izi zimachitika pamene zifukwa za libido yanu yotsika zimakhala zakuthupi kuposa zamaganizo.

4. Maganizo anu amasokonekera pamene mukugonana ndi okondedwa wanu

Ngati mumagonana ndi mnzanu wachisoni, ndiye kuti malingaliro anu amatha kukhala otanganidwa ndi malingaliro ena panthawi yakuchita. Simukukumbukira kuti mukuyenera kumva kuti mumakondedwa ndikupangitsa mnzanuyo kumva kuti amakondedwa.

M'malo mwake, mwina zimakuvutani kukhalapo panthawiyo chifukwa m'malo mosangalatsa, kugonana kumakhala chinthu chowawa kwambiri chomwe muyenera kupirira. Kuti mudzipulumutse kuti musamve kuchuluka kwa momwe kugonana kosasangalatsa kwakhalira kwa inu, mumapeza chitetezo m'malingaliro anu.

5. Simumakonda kukhudza kwambiri kapena kupsopsonana

Mukagonana, mumapewa kukhudza kapena kupsompsonana kwambiri chifukwa simukufuna kusewera foresex. Ngakhale mnzanuyo akuyesetsa kuti foresex ikhale yosangalatsa kwa inu, simukufuna kuchita foresex.

Kupsompsonana ndi kugwirana pa nthawi ya mchitidwewo kungakupangitseni kumva ngati mukungotalikitsa ntchitoyo. Mukungofuna kukanikiza pansi ndikuchita zinthu. Kugonana chifukwa cha chifundo kumakhala konyansa.

Kuwerenga kofanana: Pamene mwamuna wanga ali ndi vuto

6. Mukupewa kuyesa njira zatsopano ndi maudindo

Kusokoneza chifundo ndi chikondi, ndi kugonjera kwa okondedwa wanu kungakulepheretseni lingaliro la ubwenzi mpaka simukufuna kusangalatsa lingaliro lakuti kugonana kungakhale kosangalatsa kwa inu kachiwiri.

Popeza mukungofuna kumaliza kugonana kwachifundo popanda kuchedwa, simusangalala ndi chiyembekezo choyesa njira yatsopano kapena udindo. Umapewa kuchita zachilendo pogonana chifukwa kwa iwe zingangotanthauza kutalikitsa mchitidwewo.

7. Simumakana zomwe wokondedwa wanu amachita chifukwa chodziimba mlandu

Ngakhale mutakhala kuti mulibe mtima wofuna kugonana, simumakana zimene mnzanuyo amachita. Mumadziona kuti ndinu wolakwa ngati mukukana kubwezera zomwe akukuuzani. Achenjezedwe, mnzanuyo adzatha kugwira pa kupanda chidwi kwanu posakhalitsa.

Joseline ankaona kuti bwenzi lake linayamba posafuna kugonana pamene ubwenzi wawo ukupita patsogolo. Ngati akanayesetsa mokwanira, iye ankabwera n’kunena kuti inde, koma zonse zinali zachipongwe komanso zachipongwe.

“Mnyamata wanga ali nane chifukwa cha chisoni, ndipo sasangalala nkomwe ndi kugonana ndi ine. Zili ngati mmene zimakhalira chifukwa safuna kundikhumudwitsa ndi ayi wina,” iye anaulula zakukhosi kwa mnzake, pamene anayesa kuvomereza kuzindikira kuti anali kugona naye chifundo nthaŵi yonseyi.

8. Mumamva kukhala wovuta mukatha kugonana

Kodi mumadzipeza mukumupewa wokondedwa wanu pambuyo pogonana? Kodi mumangotuluka mchipindamo kapena kungogona mukamaliza kugonana? Ngati yankho lanu ku mafunso awiriwa ndi inde, ndiye kuti mukugonana ndi chifundo ndipo zimakupangitsani kukhala omasuka ndi mnzanuyo.

Kutalikirana ndi mnzanu mutatha kugonana ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zakuti moyo wanu wogonana wosakhutiritsa ukhoza kukhala chifukwa cha mavuto ena akuya. Mwina pali mavuto osathetsedwa a ubale omwe afooketsa mgwirizano wamaganizo pakati pa inu ndi mnzanu, ndichifukwa chake simukumvanso kukopeka nawo kapena kuwadzutsa.

Ngati ndi choncho, ndiye kuti mukhoza kusokoneza chifundo ndi chikondi.

9. Mumagonana kuti musangalatse wokondedwa wanu

Ngati mupeza wokondedwa wanu sulking za moyo kugonana inu nonse, ndiye mwina ntchito kugonana ngati chida kuwalitsa maganizo awo. Kugonana kudzachitika popanda chidwi chanu chenicheni, koma ndi cholinga chokhacho chokhutiritsa wokondedwa wanu.

M'malo molankhula ndi munthu wovuta m'chipindamo ndikulankhula za kusowa kwa chikondi muubwenzi wanu, mumagwiritsa ntchito kugonana kuti mufufuze nkhaniyi mozama. Mungafune kulakalaka vutoli koma lidzakula kwambiri pokhapokha mutathetsa vutoli m'njira yoyenera.

10. Chikhalidwe chonse cha ubale wanu chikuwoneka chogwedezeka

Mutha kusokonezedwa ndi malingaliro anu ndipo mutha kuganiza kuti ubale wanu sunakhazikike. Chifukwa chake, mutha kugwiritsa ntchito kugonana kuti chibwenzicho chipitirire. Simungakane zomwe wokondedwa wanu akufuna kuchita pogonana ndipo pamapeto pake mukugonana ndi chifundo. Tikhulupirireni, kugonana chifukwa cha chisoni kuti chibwenzicho chipitirire si lingaliro labwino.

Kukhala wachifundo muubwenzi ndikuchita khama kuti zitheke pogonana ndi wokondedwa wanu si lingaliro loipa chotero. Komabe, muyenera kupewa kugwiritsa ntchito kugonana ngati njira yochotsera chidwi ku zovuta zenizeni zomwe mukukumana nazo muubwenzi wanu.

Lankhulani ndi mnzanu ndipo mumudziwitse zomwe mumakonda komanso zomwe simukonda pankhani yogonana. Nonse muyenera kugwira ntchito limodzi kuti mutuluke mu nkhanza zogonana ndikuyesera kukhala ndi moyo wabwino wogonana. Mwina mwayamba kudana ndi kugonana kapena mwayamba kuona ngati ntchito yotopetsa kuposa kungochita zinthu zosangalatsa chifukwa mnzanuyo sadziwa momwe angachitire zinthu ndi inu. Kapena amaganizira kwambiri za kukhutitsidwa kwake moti sangasamale za inu.

Mukakambirana nkhaniyi, ganizirani njira zomwe mungakometse moyo wanu wogonana. Ganizirani zogula zoseweretsa zogonana monga ma vibrators, ziboda zamabele, zomatako zomwe mutha kukulitsa chisangalalo cha quotient. Mofananamo, ngati mukukumana ndi kugonana kowawa chifukwa chosowa chilakolako, kusunga botolo la lube m'manja kungakupulumutseni moyo.

Kumbukirani, thanzi la kugonana ndilofunika kwambiri. 'Kugonana' kuyenera kukhala chinthu chabwino komanso chosangalatsa kwa anthu okondana, osati ntchito yokakamiza kapena yokakamiza yopanda malingaliro ndi chilakolako chenicheni.

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.