21 Zizindikiro Zoonekeratu Zakukopa Kosadziwika Pakati pa Anthu Awiri

Kufalitsa chikondi

Chikoka chosaneneka chili ngati nyimbo yachete yoimba pakati pa anthu aŵiri—yomvedwa koma yosanenedwa. Mosiyana ndi kusweka kwa mbali imodzi, ndi kukopeka kwapawiri komwe palibe amene adalankhula momveka bwino. Chemistry nthawi zambiri imakhala yomveka, imayankhulidwa kudzera m'njira zobisika, koma zosatsutsika. Kukopa kwamtunduwu kumakhala ndi kuthekera kwa kulumikizana kwatanthauzo koma kumasiya anthu onse m'malo osamvetsetseka, osatsimikiza ngati malingalirowo ali onse. Kuwona zizindikiro zosalankhula izi kutha kumveketsa bwino ngati yafika nthawi yosintha zomwe sizinalankhulidwe kukhala chinthu chachikulu.

Chemistry yosalankhula nthawi zambiri imakhala ngati kukoka kwa maginito. Sizokhudza kukopeka kokha, koma kukopana kozama, kosalankhulana komwe kumakupangitsani kuganizira za iwo ngakhale palibe. Kaya muli m'chipinda chokhala ndi anthu ambiri kapena nthawi yabata pakati pa inu nonse, mphindi izi zimakhala ndi mphamvu yamagetsi. Kutengeka maganizo kumeneku—popanda kulankhulana n’komwe—kungakhale koledzeretsa, komabe kumayambitsanso chipwirikiti chamkati. Kuti timvetse bwino, tinakambirana ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo ku California ndi Cognitive Behavior Therapist Dr. Shefali Batra (MD mu psychiatry), yemwe amagwira ntchito pa uphungu wa kupatukana ndi kusudzulana, kutha kwa chibwenzi ndi chibwenzi, komanso nkhani zogwirizanitsa anthu asanakwatirane. Nazi

Kodi Kukopa Kosanenedwa N'chiyani?

M'ndandanda wazopezekamo

Dr. Batra akuti, “Chikoka chosalankhulidwa (chosiyana ndi a chikondi cha mbali imodzi) ndi chikondi chapakati pa anthu awiri koma sichinafotokozedwe momveka bwino kudzera m'mawu. Amalankhulidwa kaŵirikaŵiri kupyolera m’mawu obisika amene ali owonekera ndi odziŵika koma osatero kwenikweni.” Mosiyana ndi kutengeka kwanthawi kochepa, zimakhazikika pamakhalidwe osawoneka bwino, mobwerezabwereza komanso machitidwe, monga:

Kuyang'ana mochedwa
Kuseka kwamanjenje
Chikoka cha maginito kukhala pafupi wina ndi mzake

Kulumikizana kotereku nthawi zambiri kumasiya onse awiri akukayikira kufunika kwake, popeza chikhalidwe chosaneneka cha mgwirizano chimasunga ubalewo mu limbo. Ngakhale zili zokayikitsa, nthawi zolumikizanazi zitha kuwonetsa kuyambika kwa ubale watanthauzo ngati zitayankhulidwa poyera. Kukopa kosadziwika nthawi zambiri kumawonekera mwa zizindikiro zodziwikiratu za kukopa. Izi zitha kukhala kuchokera ku zidziwitso zakuthupi monga ana okulirakulira kupita kumalingaliro amalingaliro monga kusatetezeka komanso kufunikira koyandikira. Nthawi zambiri, chikondi chosalankhula chimayamba ngati champhindi koma chimakula kukhala chinthu chozama kwambiri.

chikondi chosaneneka — Kukopa kosaneneka

Mumadziwa Bwanji Ngati Kukopana Pakati pa Anthu Awiri Ndi Chenicheni?

Zowona za kukopa kosaneneka nthawi zambiri zimadalira ngati zimasintha kukhala kulankhulana momveka bwino ndi kuchitapo kanthu. Dr. Batra akulangiza kuti: “Kusamveka bwino kwa kukopeka ndi munthu wina n’kosangalatsa koma sikuthandiza ngati kumatenga nthawi yaitali. yambani kukambirana za izi? Zitha kumveketsa malingaliro olakwika, kupangitsa ubale weniweni, kapena kukupulumutsani ku kukanidwa komwe kungachitike. Mulimonsemo, kumveketsa bwino ndikofunikira. ”

Ngati simukutsimikiza mokwanira za kulumikizanako kuti muyang'anenso ndi munthu winayo, apa pali zizindikiro zokopana zomwe muyenera kuyang'ana:

Onani kusasinthasintha: Zochita zokhazikika pakapita nthawi, monga kuyang'ana pafupipafupi kapena kuwonera kalirole, zikuwonetsa kuti zomwe mukuziwona sizongochitika mwamwayi.
Yang'anirani kusatetezeka: Anthu omwe amasamala amatha kufooketsa kapena kugawana nawo zakuya zawo
Unikani mphamvu yamalingaliro: Kodi kuyanjana kwanu kumasiya chidwi chokhalitsa kapena kulumikizana?
Ganizirani zomwe zimachitika kunja: Anzathu kapena anzako angachite bwino zizindikiro za kukopana, nthawi zina musanatero

Kukopana kosaneneka kumakula bwino pamalingaliro enieni komanso mphamvu zogawana. Kuzindikira zizindikiro mwamsanga kungateteze kusamvana ndikuthandizani kusankha momwe mungapitirire patsogolo.

21 Zizindikiro Zomveka Zokopa Zosaneneka

Mphindi yakuseka limodzi, kuyang'ana mochedwa, kapena kukokera munthu mosadziwika bwino kungayambitse mafunso angapo: Kodi pali chinanso apa? Dr. Batra ananena kuti: “Mawu akasoweka, zochita zimakula kwambiri. Pansipa, tikuphwanya zizindikiro 21 zodziwika bwino zomwe munthu ali kukukondani koma kubisa.

1. Kuyang'ana mwachangu

Amaba maso akamaganiza kuti simukuwaona, koma akagwidwa amangoyang'ana kumbali. Kanthawi kochepa izi zimawulula chikhumbo chosazindikira chofuna kukuwonani. Pakapita nthawi, kuyang'ana mwachangu kumeneku kumatha kukhala kuyang'ana kwanthawi yayitali, ndikupanga kukambirana mwakachetechete komwe kumamveka ngati kwanuko.

2. Kukhudza mobisa

Dr. Batra anati: “Maburashi a m’manja mwangozi, kukhudza paphewa pang’ono, kapena kuima pafupi kwambiri kungasonyeze kuti mukukhudzidwa mtima kwambiri.” Kukhudzana mwakuthupi—ngakhale m’mawonekedwe ake obisika kwambiri —amapanga lingaliro la ubwenzi ndi kuyandikana.

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3. Kuyang'anira zochita zanu

Iwo mosazindikira amatsanzira manja anu, kamvekedwe, kapena kaimidwe kanu, kuwonetsa kulumikizana kwamaganizidwe. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mutatsamira pa dzanja lanu, akhoza kuchitanso zomwezo pakapita nthawi. Kuyanjanitsa uku kwa machitidwe nthawi zambiri ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za kukopa kosaneneka kuntchito, makamaka ngati munthu winayo sakudziwani bwino kuti muyambe kukambirana momasuka.

4. Kupeza zifukwa zolankhulira nanu

Potchula zizindikiro zomwe nonse mukubisala mmene mukumvera, Dr. Batra anati, “Amayesetsa kuyambitsa zokambirana, ngakhale nkhaniyo itakhala yaing’ono. pitirizani kukambirana nayenso, ngakhale nkhaniyo. ” Kaya ndikufunsani malingaliro anu pazachinthu chamba kapena kugawana nthano zongochitika mwachisawawa, kuyanjana kumeneku kukuwonetsa chikhumbo chofuna kuti kulumikizana kukhale kwamoyo.

5. Kuyamikira pafupipafupi

Dr. Batra anati: “Munthu wina akamakukondani, nthawi zonse amakuyamikirani mochokera pansi pa mtima komanso mongoganizira za inuyo. Zingakhale zokhudza maonekedwe anu, luso lanu, kapena zimene mwakwanitsa kuchita.” Mwachitsanzo:

Akamaliza kufotokoza, anganene kuti mwachita bwino
Ngati mungayesere masitayelo anu kapena kuyesa mtundu wina, amakhala oyamba kukuwonani ndikukuyamikani

Kuyang'ana mwatsatanetsatane uku kukuwonetsa kusilira ndi kukopa.

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6. Kukumbukira ting'onoting'ono

Chizindikiro china cha kukopana ndikuti amakumbukira zomwe mumakonda, nkhani, kapena zizolowezi zomwe ena sangaziganizire. Kutchula zomwe mudanena masabata apitawa, monga zomwe mumakonda oda khofi kapena peeve yeniyeni, zimasonyeza kuti akhala atcheru ndikuyamikira zomwe mumagawana.

7. Chidwi chadzidzidzi pa zomwe mumakonda

Amakhala ndi chidwi ndi zokonda zanu, ngakhale kuzitenga ngati zawo. Izi zitha kutanthauza:

Kuyesa masewera omwe mumakonda
Kuwonera pulogalamu yomwe mwalimbikitsa
Kapena basi kufunsa mafunso kuti mudziwe zambiri za zomwe mumakonda

8. Kutsamira mkati

Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zamphamvu zakugonana. Pokambirana, amatsamira pafupi, kuchepetsa malo akuthupi pakati panu. Izi nthawi zambiri zimamveka mwachibadwa ndipo ndi chizindikiro cha kudalira, chitonthozo, ndi kukopa. Ngati simukutsimikiza ngati ndizokopana zosaneneka kapena zinangochitika mwangozi pang'ono, nayi nsonga. Pita pazithunzi zomwe zajambulidwa nonse mukucheza ndi gulu. Ngati muzithunzi zambiri, kapena zonse, amapeza njira yokhala pafupi ndi inu ndikuwoneka kuti akutsamira pafupi, mwina ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za kukopa kosaneneka pakati pa mabwenzi.

kukopeka mwachikondi — Kutsamira ndi chizindikiro kuti amakopeka nanu

9. Kuchita manyazi pozungulira iwe

Dr. Batra ananena kuti: “Nkhope zawo zimatuluka mwadzidzidzi mukakhala pafupi—kapena munthu wina akatchula dzina lanu—zimakhala zosadziŵika bwino. zizindikiro za kukopa.” Zimasonyeza kuti ngakhale dzina lanu ndi lokwanira kuwapatsa agulugufe, ziribe kanthu momwe akuyesera kulibisa.

10. Kuseka nthabwala zanu

Ngakhale nthabwala zanu zitaphonya, zimaseka moona mtima. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwazizindikiro zodziwika kuti wina akukondani koma akubisala. Zimawonetsa kufunitsitsa kulumikizana ndikupeza chisangalalo pamaso panu. Izi Reddit wosuta adagawana nawo, "Ngati anthu awiri akuyang'ana wina ndi mnzake akamaseka pagulu . Ndikhulupirireni kuti amakondana kwambiri"

11. Kupeza zifukwa zokhalira pafupi nanu

Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zosadziwika kukopana pakati pa ogwira nawo ntchito ndikuti nthawi zambiri amapeza njira zokhalira pafupi nanu. Izi zitha kuwoneka motere:

Kubwera pa desiki yanu kudzapempha thandizo ndi chinachake, ngakhale sachifuna
Kudzuka kuti mukatenge madzi/khofi/zokhwasula-khwasula nthawi imodzi ndi inu
Kudyera limodzi chakudya chamasana

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12. Kuseweretsa

Amakusekani modekha kapena kukusekani m’njira yosonyeza kuti amakukondani. Kusewera kosewera nthawi zambiri kumasonyeza chitonthozo ndi chozama kulumikizana kwamaganizidwe. Ngakhale khalidweli likhoza kuwonedwa pakati pa ogwira nawo ntchito, ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zodziwika bwino za kukopeka kosaneneka pakati pa abwenzi monga kuseka kumafuna kuti mukhale omasuka. Mofananamo, kodi kumenyana ndi chizindikiro chakuti mabwenzi akukopeka? Mwamtheradi ziri!

13. Kuyamikira zomwe mwachita

Amapeza mikhalidwe yanu yapadera - yomwe mungaganizire kukhala yosamvetseka - yokondeka komanso yapadera. Kuwonetsa zovuta izi kungakhale njira yawo kufotokoza zakukhosi kwawo chikondi ndi kusilira. Chifukwa chake, muwone ngati akuyamikira tsitsi lanu losokonezeka kapena momwe mungathetsere kuthamanga kwa rubik. Mukumvetsa mfundo.

14. Kuyang'ana maso

Dr. Batra anati: “Munthu wina akakukondani, amangoyang’anabe kwa nthawi yaitali kuposa mmene amachitira ndi ena. Izi Reddit wosuta kufotokoza mokongola kwambiri, "Sikungoyang'ana maso wamba. Ndi maonekedwe enaake m'maso mwa munthuyo. Pamene amakukondani, amayang'ana m'maso mwanu, osati pa iwo. Sindikudziwa momwe ndingafotokozere, koma izi ndizo zabwino zomwe ndingathe kuzifotokoza. Zili ngati akufuna kufika kukuya kwa moyo wanu ... kukudziwani bwinoko. ”

chemistry yosalankhula — Kuyang'ana m'maso kungakhale chizindikiro cha kukopeka

15. Nthawi zonse kusonyeza kuyang'ana kwambiri pozungulira inu

Iwo amaika khama lowonjezereka mu maonekedwe awo pamene adziwa kuti adzakuwonani inu. Kukonzekera mwakachetechete kumeneku kumasonyeza kuti akufuna kukusangalatsani ndi kukukopani. Kenako yambani kuyang'ana zizindikiro izi:

Kodi ayamba kuvala bwino kwambiri posachedwa?
Kodi mwawapeza akukonza tsitsi / zodzoladzola zawo mozungulira inu?
Kodi ayamba kuvala zonunkhiritsa zodziwika bwino pafupi nanu?

Zizindikirozi zimawonekera makamaka pakakhala kugwirizana kosaneneka pakati pa ogwira nawo ntchito, chifukwa nthawi zambiri anthu samamva kufunika kovala kuntchito pokhapokha ngati akuyesera kuvala. kusangalatsa mnzako.

16. Nsanje pa ena

Amasonyeza zizindikiro zosaoneka bwino za kusapeza bwino pamene wina atenga chidwi chanu. Izi zikhoza kukhala chifukwa cha kusintha kwa maganizo kapena kusintha khalidwe lawo. Tinene kuti mukulankhula za bwenzi, kapena wakale, mosilira. Ngati munthuyo amakukondani, adza:

Sonyezani kusamasuka m'mawonekedwe a thupi lawo
Pangani chowiringula chochoka
Yesani kusintha mutuwo
Funsani mafunso otsatila kuti muwone ngati mumakonda "bwenzi" uyu.

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17. Kufananiza mphamvu zanu

Amasintha machitidwe awo kuti agwirizane ndi momwe mumamvera komanso mphamvu zanu. Kulumikizana uku kumapanga mgwirizano ndikuwonetsa mgwirizano wamphamvu, wogwirizana. Izi zitha kuwoneka muzinthu zazing'ono monga:

Kuchita mantha mukakhala ndi mantha ndi zinazake
Kuseka kwambiri pamene mukumva kunjenjemera
Kukhala chete mukakhala otsika

18. Kufuna maganizo anu

Nthawi zambiri amakufunsani maganizo anu pa zosankha, kaya zazing'ono kapena zazikulu. Kuyamikira zomwe mwalemba amasonyeza ulemu ndi kugwirizana kwambiri maganizo. Ngati pali kukopeka kosaneneka pakati pa ogwira nawo ntchito, angafunse malingaliro okhudzana ndi ntchito. Kapena m'malo osavuta, zitha kuwoneka ngati kutenga malingaliro pazovala, malingaliro a mabuku/kanema, ndi zina.

19. Kukhala nthawi yayitali kuposa kufunikira

Dr. Batra ananenanso kuti: “Kaya ndi kukambirana, msonkhano, kapena chochitika, iwo amachedwa kupitirira zimene zikufunika.” Kukhalapo kwanthawi yayitaliku kukuwonetsa kusafuna kwawo kusiya kampani yanu. Nazi zitsanzo:

Pamsonkhano, nthawi zonse amakhala ndi funso kapena kukayikira kuti athetse
Pambuyo paphwando, mwanjira ina uber wawo nthawi zonse amabwera pambuyo panu
Kapena, ngati ali olimba mtima kwambiri, amangodzipereka nthawi zonse kukuyenda nanu kulikonse komwe mwayimitsidwa kuti azikhala nanu mpaka mphindi yomaliza.

20. Mantha mwadzidzidzi

Amawoneka osamasuka pang'ono kapena okhumudwa mukakhala pafupi, kusonyeza kuti akudziwa bwino za kukhalapo kwanu. Mphamvu yamanjenje iyi nthawi zambiri imawulula awo kukopa kwambiri. A Reddit wosuta anagawana zomwe akuganiza kuti ndi chizindikiro cha kugwirizana kosaneneka, "Akamalankhula bwino, nthawi zambiri amakhumudwa akamalankhula nanu. Adzakhala waubwenzi, koma adzawoneka wovuta pokhala nanu."

21. Kumva m'matumbo kumeneko

Pomaliza, Dr. Batra analangiza kuti: “Nthawi zina mumangodziwa kuti mmene mukumvera n’ngogwirizana, ngakhale pamene simukudziŵa bwinobwino zizindikiro zilizonse. Kukhulupirira mwachidziwitso chanu nthawi zambiri kumatha kukhala gawo loyamba pakuvomereza kukopa kosadziwika. Kotero, ngati palibe zizindikiro zoonekeratu koma simungasiye kudabwa, "Mukamva magetsi ndi munthu, amamvanso?" pali njira imodzi yokha yodziwira. Pitani mukalankhule nawo!

Ibibazo

1. Kodi mumatha kuzindikira kukopeka kosaneneka?

Inde. Pamene kumverera kumagwirizana, kumakhala ngati kugwirizana kosawoneka, ndi kuzindikira kwakukulu kwa kukhalapo kwa wina ndi mzake. Kuseka kogawana, kuyang'ana kobedwa, ndi kulimbikitsana zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kuphonya. Izi nthawi zambiri zingayambitse kudabwa za zizindikiro zomwe nonse mukubisa malingaliro anu.

2. Kodi kukopa kosadziwika kungathe nthawi yayitali bwanji?

Zimasiyana. Zokopa zina zosalankhulidwa zimatha msanga, pamene zina zimatha kwa zaka zambiri, makamaka ngati palibe gulu lomwe likuchitapo kanthu. Kutalika kwa moyo nthawi zambiri kumadalira mphamvu ya kugwirizana ndi zochitika zakunja.

3. Mukakopeka ndi munthu, kodi nayenso amamva?

Nthawi zambiri, inde. Zilankhulo zathupi komanso zodziwikiratu, monga kutengera zochita kapena kuyang'anana kwa nthawi yayitali, zikuwonetsa kuti akuyambanso kuchita chimodzimodzi. Zizindikiro zamphamvu zakugonana nthawi zambiri zimaphatikizapo kupsinjika kwakuthupi komanso m'malingaliro.

Zolozera Mfungulo

Chikoka chosaneneka chimakula bwino pazidziwitso zobisika, zosasinthika
Kukopeka kwachikondi nthawi zambiri kumadziwonetsera kudzera mukulankhula ndi thupi komanso chidwi
Kukhala ndi zokambirana zomasuka ndikuthana ndi chemistry yosalankhula kutha kumveketsa ndikukupulumutsani ku "Kodi titero, sichoncho" conundrum

Maganizo Final

Kukopa kosaneneka ndi kulumikizana kosangalatsa komanso kodabwitsa komwe nthawi zambiri kumamva magetsi. Kuzindikira zizindikiro izi kungakuthandizeni kuthana ndi kusamveka bwino ndikusankha momwe mungayankhire malingaliro anu. Kukopeka ndi maziko abwino a ubale womwe ungakhalepo, koma kumveketsa bwino-kupyolera mukulankhulana momasuka-kumasintha zizindikiro za kukopa kosaneneka kuntchito kukhala chinthu chowoneka bwino. Samalani pazowunikira, khulupirirani chidziwitso chanu, ndipo musazengereze kufufuza zomwe zingatheke pamene nthawi ikumva bwino. Chikondi chosaneneka, chikalimbikitsidwa, chimatha kukula kukhala chinthu chodabwitsa.

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