Kukopeka ndi Antchito Anzathu Ndipo Sindikudziwa Chochita Pazo

Kufalitsa chikondi

Kukopeka ndi wantchito mnzako pamene mwakwatirana kale kapena muli pachibwenzi kwa nthaŵi yaitali ndi vuto la moyo wonse. Kumbali ina, muli kale ndi mnzanu amene amakukondani ndipo wasankha kukhalabe nanu moyo wanu wonse. Kumbali inayi, mumatha kumva kunjenjemera nthawi iliyonse wogwira nawo ntchito akapita kumsonkhano kapena kukuyang'anani pa desiki lawo.

Ndicho chinthu cha kukopeka ndi kukangana kugonana. Ngakhale mutakhala paubwenzi wosangalala, palibe chitsimikizo chakuti simudzakopeka ndi munthu wina. Koma ziribe kanthu kuti izi zafala bwanji, kodi munthu amatani ndi mkhalidwe woterowo?

Kodi mwakopeka ndi mnzanu wa kuntchito koma mwakwatirana? Mwadzipeza nokha mu vuto lofananalo posachedwapa ndipo anatifunsa momwe tingathanirane ndi vutoli. Katswiri wa zamaganizo komanso mphunzitsi wodziwa bwino za luso la moyo, Deepak Kashyap (Masters in Psychology of Education), yemwe ndi katswiri pa nkhani zosiyanasiyana zaumoyo wamaganizo, kuphatikizapo LGBTQ ndi uphungu wachinsinsi, akugawana malingaliro ake pa vuto lofala koma lodetsa nkhawa ili.

Kukopeka Ndi Mnzanu Wantchito

M'ndandanda wazopezekamo

Q: Timagwira ntchito pakampani imodzi. Tinagwira ntchito limodzi kwa milungu iwiri, miyezi isanu ndi inayi yapitayo ndipo panali chemistry yambiri pakati pathu. Moti timasinthana mauthenga tsiku lililonse. Tasinthanitsa zithunzi zonyansa koma sitinachitepo chilichonse chokhudza thupi. Anabwera kunyumba kwanga kudzadya chakudya chamasana kamodzi ndipo anandiuza pambuyo pake kuti panali kugonana kwakukulu. Timaganiza bwino dziko la wina ndi mzake. Wanditcha zinthu monga zokongola, zochititsa chidwi, komanso zokongola kwambiri. Tikakhala limodzi kuntchito, anthu amalankhula za kuyandikana kwathu, ndipo ndimamuwona akundisanthula mchipindamo. Iye akukumana ndi mavuto ake a m’banja. Inenso ndikulimbana ndi ukwati wanga wazaka zisanu ndi zitatu.

Dzulo ndinamuuza kuti sitingathe kukhalanso mabwenzi ndipo ndiyenera kusiya kucheza chifukwa ndimamukonda ndipo sibwino kupitiriza chonchi, makamaka kwa anzathu. Kukopeka ndi wantchito mnzathu ndi chinthu chimodzi, koma tinapitirira malire. Anayankha kuti sakudziwa kuti izi zikuchokera kuti ndipo anayesa kuti ndikhale. Sanafune kuti ndichoke. N’chifukwa chiyani sakundilola kuti ndisiye kucheza naye? Iye ananenapo kale kuti ndine wapadera kwambiri, koma tsopano popeza akudziwa mmene ndikumvera, andisiye. Sichoncho? Ali ndi zaka 39 ndipo ine ndili ndi zaka 37.

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Kuchokera kwa katswiri:

Yankho: Pewani iye. Pakadali pano, osachepera. Muyenera kumvetsetsa kuti ngakhale kuti muli ndi malingaliro enieni pa wina ndi mnzake, mavuto omwe ali muubwenzi wanu akhozanso kukusokonezani kwambiri. Ndi chizolowezi cha anthu kutayika mu malingaliro a 'wokonda wangwiro' ndikugwiritsa ntchito zizindikiro zokopana ndi wina mtsogolo pamene ubale wathu wapano ukukumana ndi mavuto nthawi ndi nthawi.

Ndikofunikira kuti muyambe mwayang'ana pa ubale wanu womwe ulipo kuti muwone ngati pali mwayi wowongolera ndi kuwongolera pamenepo. Ngati alipo ndipo mumamukondabe wokondedwa wanu wapano, ndiye kuti muyenera kuyesetsa. Mwina kukopeka ndi wantchito mnzako ndi gawo losakhalitsa kwa inu kotero ndi nthawi yopewa zizindikiro zonse zokopana zomwe amakuponyerani.

Dziwani kuti ndi zachilendo kukopeka ndi anthu ena, ngakhale mutakhala paubwenzi wabwino. Cholinga chachikulu ndikusachitapo kanthu pa zokopa zimenezo. Kukhala ndi mkazi mmodzi si chinthu chofunikira kwambiri pa moyo wanu, komabe, ubale wopanda mkazi mmodzi kapena wokonda akazi ambiri uyenera kukhala chisankho chomwe inu ndi mnzanu wapano mumapangana pamodzi m'malo mochitapo kanthu pa inu nokha. Ndiye pankhaniyi, mungachite chiyani ngati mnzanu wa kuntchito akukukondani kwambiri ndipo sakukusiyani? Chitani zonse zomwe mungathe kuti muthetse chibwenzicho naye.

Uyenera kukhala woona mtima kwa wekha — Ngati mumakopeka ndi mnzanu wa kuntchito, ganizirani ngati izi ndi zenizeni kapena gawo losakhalitsa

Komabe, ngati mukuganiza kuti palibe chiyembekezo chotsalira pa ubale wanu wamakono, ndi pamene muyenera kudziwonetsera nokha. Pambuyo pa kutha kwa banja, mufunikira kudzipatulira nthaŵi yoyenerera kuti muchiritse musanakhale ndi nyonga yofunafuna wina aliyense, makamaka mwamuna amene akulimbana ndi mavuto m’banja mwake.

Zidzakhala zovuta kwa iye kuti akambirane nanu zinthu asanaone zomwe zikuchitika pamoyo wake. Komabe, muli ndi mphamvu yoyimitsa, chitani. Ndikukufunirani zabwino zonse. Lankhulani ndi mlangizi nokha, ngati mukuganiza kuti kusanthula mwatsatanetsatane ndikofunikira. Zabwino zonse.

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Ndingadziwe Bwanji Ngati Mnzanga Wantchito Amandikonda?

Tsopano popeza katswiriyo wathetsa funso lomwe lili pamwambali ndipo watipatsa malingaliro ake momwe munthu ayenera kuchitira zinthu zoterezi, Bonobology ikupita patsogolo kuchokera pano kuti ikupatseni malingaliro abwino a momwe ofesi yachikondi ingawonekere. Ngati mukuwona ngati mwakhala mukutsata imodzi ndipo ndi zomwe zakubweretsani kuno, titha kuzichotsa nthawi yomweyo. Nazi zizindikiro zochepa zokopa anzako zomwe simungaziphonye.

1. Amapitirizabe kupeza zifukwa zokopa chidwi chanu

Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zomwe mnzanu wa kuntchito amakukonderani ndi chakuti ngati palibe tsiku lomwe limadutsa popanda iye kuyesa kulankhula nanu kapena kukopa chidwi chanu. Ubale wanzeru ndi wosiyana ndipo umamveka wosiyana kwambiri ndi nkhani ya kuntchito yomwe ingachitike. Koma mnzanu wa kuntchito akamakukondanidi, mudzamva momwe amalankhulira nanu kapena kukuyenderani tsiku lonse. Kukupangirani nkhope zokongola pakati pa msonkhano, kupeza zifukwa zobwera pafupi nanu, kapena kukulimbikitsani kuti mudye nawo nkhomaliro ndi zina mwa zizindikiro zosonyeza kuti akukufunani.

2. Kuyang'anana m'maso kumatalika pang'ono - Zizindikiro zokopa anzako

"Kodi mnzanga wantchito amandikonda?" Kodi munayamba mwadzifunsapo za kuthekera uku, ndiye kuti muyenera kulabadira zizindikiro zazing'ono zomwe zili zakufa zakumvera kwake. Mwachitsanzo, mutha kukhala otsimikiza kuti mnzanu wantchito amakopeka ndi inu ngati mukumva kuti sangasiye kukuyang'anani.

Kodi munamuwonapo akuba maso pamene mukugwira ntchito kenako n’kuyang’ana kwina mofulumira mukamuwona akuchita zimenezo? Nthawi zina mukamalankhula, kodi amakuyang’anani m’maso mwachikondi kenako n’kuyamba kuyang’ana milomo yanu? Ichi si chizindikiro chokha chakuti anzanu akukondana komanso chimasonyeza kuti pali vuto la kugonana.

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3. Amakonda kukambirana zinthu zakunja kwa ntchito

Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zoonekeratu kuti mnzanu amakukondani. Akhoza kuyamba kukambirana kulikonse ndi chinachake chokhudzana ndi ntchito. Mwinamwake ponena za ulaliki wofunikira kapena ndemanga za mmene Sylvia amachedwa nthaŵi zonse. Koma mudzaona momwe kukambirana kulikonse kungakhudzire zinthu zaumwini ndipo musanadziwe, mukuwauza zonse za nthawi yomwe munamenyana paphwando lakumbuyo.

Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zomwe ogwira nawo ntchito amakopeka ndi wina ndi mzake ndi pamene nthawi zonse amaseka ndi kuseka pazinthu zomwe sizikugwirizana ndi ntchito. Zili ngati kulankhula za zinthu zimene mumachita pa tsiku kupatula inu mutakhala pa desiki ndi PC wanu pamaso panu.

Kukopeka ndi Wantchito Mnzathu? Izi ndi Zomwe Muyenera Kuchita

Tsopano popeza tathana ndi vuto la “momwe mungadziwire ngati mnzanga wakuntchito amandikonda”, tiyeni tidumphe molunjika pa zomwe tingachite ngati wantchito mnzako amakukondani. Palibe zambiri zomwe mungachite pothana ndi vuto ngati ili koma pali zinthu zingapo zosavuta zomwe mungachite. Ngati chibwenzi chamuofesi chayamba kale ndipo mwakhala mukuchita nawo, ndiye kuti mumawona moyo wanu ndi munthu uyu komanso yemwe mukufuna kukhala wamakhalidwe abwino.

Mukakopeka ndi wantchito mnzako komanso wokwatirana, muyenera kusankha pakati pa mnzanu ndi wantchito mnzako. Ngati mukuganiza kuti ubale wanu ndi mnzanuyo ungakhale wokhalitsa, mutha kusankha kusiya wapitawo ndikungoganizira izi zokha. Koma ngati mukutsimikiza kuti ubale wanu ndi wantchito mnzako ukungoseweretsa basi ndi zizindikiro zokopana kuntchito, ndiye kuti mwina ndi nthawi yoti musiye? Kodi n'koyeneradi kuwononga ubale wabwino kwambiri chifukwa chakuti mukusangalala ndi ntchito? Mumtima mwanu mumadziwa yankho lake. Mukungoyenera kudzipatulira nthawi kuti mukumbe.

Ibibazo

1. Kodi n'kwachibadwa kukopeka ndi mnzanu wa kuntchito?

Inde ndi choncho. Zimachitika nthawi zambiri kuposa momwe mukuganizira.

2. Kodi mumadziwa bwanji ngati mnzanu wa kuntchito amakukondani?

Ngati nthawi zonse amalankhula nanu kwambiri kuposa ena, ngati akuyesera kukuchititsani manyazi kwambiri, ndipo ngati akupitirizabe kukugwirani kapena kukhala nanu nthawi zonse, mnzanu wa kuntchito amakukondani kwambiri.

3. Kodi ndingasiye bwanji kukopeka ndi munthu wa kuntchito?

Zoyenera kuchita ngati mnzako amakukondani ndipo simukufuna kuchita nawo zinthu zina? Yambani pochepetsa kucheza nawo ndikuwawonetsa kuti simukufuna. Ngati sakumvetsabe, auzeni kuti mumakopeka nawo koma sibwino kukhalamo ndipo simukufuna kuti zinthu ziipireipire.

4. Kodi ogwira nawo ntchito angayambe kukondana?

Angathedi! Kugwira ntchito yokhala pafupi ndi wina ndi mnzake kwa maola 9-5 kungapangitse anthu kuyamba kukondana.

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.