"Ndavutika pachabe. Sizigwira ntchito. Maganizo anga sadzaletsedwa. Mundilole ndikuuzeni momwe ndimakukonderani komanso momwe ndimakukonderani. " Bambo Darcy ananena mawu awa olembedwa ndi Jane Austen m'buku lawo lakuti Pride and Prejudice. Kusukulu mnyamata wina atandiuza mawu awa, ndinaganiza nthawi yomweyo kuti ndiye ameneyo. Linali buku lomwe ankadziwa kuti ndimalikonda, buku lolembedwa bwino, mnzanga wa nthawi imeneyo. Nditayang'ana m'mbuyo ndinazindikira kuti ankadziwa kuti ndingakhale ndi chidwi ndi munthu wofooka ngati atangodzilimbitsa thupi. Unali ulendo wanzeru. Ankachita zinthu zokopa anthu popanda mwayi wokana.
Kukopana kumafotokozedwa mu dikishonale motere: Kukopana - kuchita ngati kuti ukukonda winawake, koma mwamasewera osati ndi zolinga zenizeni.
Pafupifupi aliyense amene ndikumudziwa wakhala akungolandirako kapena anayamba kukopana kapena kuchezetsa mopepuka komwe kumakhala kosangalatsa ndikusiya wina akusangalala. Uku ndi komwe mumati kukopana kwabwino, kukopana komwe sikudutsa malire. Ndipo monga ndi chilichonse chabwino, tonse tikudziwa kuti kukopana sikunayende bwino kapena kupita kudera lomwe sitinatchulidwepo.
Kodi Kukopana Kumadutsa Nthawi Yanji?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Nthawi zonse ndimadzifunsa kuti n’chifukwa chiyani timachita zinthu zogonana? Kodi ndi zabwino kapena zoipa? Kodi munthu ayenera kuchita kapena ayi? Pali lingaliro lakuti kuchita zinthu zogonana bwino n’kwabwino, kukwatiwa komanso kuchita zinthu zogonana n’kwabwino ngati simukudutsa malire koma kuchita zinthu zogonana ndi mnzanu wapamtima, bwana wanu kapena mnzanu wapamtima kungakhale ndi zotsatirapo zoipa monga kuchita chibwenzi kapena kungayambitse chinyengo chaching’ono. Pamenepo ndiye kuti kuchita zinthu zogonana kwapitirira muyeso popanda munthu kuzindikira kuti wadutsa malire.
Ambiri anganene kuti amakopana chifukwa chakuti apeza winawake wokongola kapena wokondweretsa. Koma kodi n’chiyani chimachititsa munthu kukopeka kuti afikire mnzake chifukwa chakuti sachita zibwenzi ndi aliyense?
Helen Fisher , katswiri wa za anthu ku Rutgers University, anati thupi la munthu limadziwa pakangopita sekondi imodzi ngati munthuyo ndi wokongola kapena ayi.
Nditaŵerenga zimenezi, ndinalingalira za zochitika zomangidwira ukwati zimene mnyamata ndi mtsikanayo ayenera kusankha ngati akufuna kukhala limodzi moyo wawo wonse m’maola angapo chabe atakumana.
Izi zinandipangitsa kufufuza kwambiri zizindikiro zomwe zimatipangitsa kukondana ndi munthu m'modzi pagulu la anthu. Ndinadabwa kupeza kuti chidziwitso chozama chingaperekedwe ndikulandiridwa mwa kukondana kudzera m'machitidwe, thupi ndi mawu okha.
Mwachitsanzo, munthu amene ali ndi matupi ofikirika monga kumwetulira, manja osapingasa ndi miyendo, kuyang'ana molunjika kumatha kukopa anthu. Kuyang'ana nsapato kapena foni yanu ndikuchepetsa.
Amuna omwe amaima mowongoka, mapazi otambasulidwa, manja otambasulidwa amakhala owoneka bwino kwambiri monga momwe amachitira akazi omwe ali ndi tsitsi pansi, kupendekeka kumutu, manja ndi manja owoneka.
Kupsompsonana konse kwa manja ndi kusangalatsidwa ndi manja kunandionekera pokha pamene ndinazindikira kuti ichi chinali chizindikiro cha chisinthiko chomwe chinasindikizidwa mu DNA yamphongo yomwe imasonyeza kubereka kwanga.
Pali Mitundu Isanu Yosiyanasiyana Ya Ma Flirts
Kumeneku sikungochotsera kwanga kokha koma zomwezo zimaperekedwanso ndi maphunziro osiyanasiyana. Tsopano mungaganize kuti simuli wokopana koma kodi n’zotheka kuti muli m’gulu limodzi pansipa? Mutha kukhala mukuchita kukopana kwabwino kotero musakhale ndi vuto pano.
1. Kukopana kwachikhalidwe
Ngati mumakonda kukopana, nthawi zambiri mumakhala mwamuna amene amayamba kuchitapo kanthu. Akazi amakonda kulola amuna kuchita ntchitoyo. Ganizirani za Tinder , Bumble, Hinge kapena tsamba lina lililonse la chibwenzi. Munthu wovala zida zonyezimira uyu akutchuka kwambiri kotero akazi amalola kuti azibwera kwa inu pamene mukusuntha kumanzere ... kapena kumanja momwe zingakhalire. Chomwe mukufunikira ndi chithunzi chabwino kwambiri cha mbiri yanu ndipo mwakonzeka kukopana bwino.
2. Kukopana mwakuthupi
Wokopana amalola thupi lawo kuyankhula. Kubwera kuno kumawoneka, kupindika kwa minofu, kukhudza kwa nthenga zopepuka… Zimapangitsa chidwi cha ena monga china chilichonse ndipo zimawauza kuti ndinu okondwa kukhala ndi chidwi chawo chonse…ndipo mukufuna zambiri. Uku ndi kukopana kwabwino ngati simunakwatire koma ngati muli pabanja ndikukopana ndiye kuti mulungu amamuthandiza kukopa thupi.
3. Kukopana moona mtima
Kukopana moona mtima kumakhala kochenjera. Kodi pali wina amene wakuyamikirani kapena kuyesa kuyambitsa kukambirana za buku losangalatsa lomwe mukuwerenga pa metro? Eya…anali kukukopani, kuyesera kupeza zomwe mungagwirizane nazo ndikuwona ngati angachite nanu.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zizindikiro za Nyenyezi Zomwe Zimakonda Kukondana Ndi Chilengedwe
Tsopano dzifunseni nokha kodi sitimamva bwino tikamva zinthu monga: Ali ndi kumwetulira kokongola kapena Amawoneka ngati munthu wabwino.
Zimasonyeza kuyamikira mu umunthu wathu wonse ndipo timamva bwino pa munthu amene akunena mawuwa. Mabwenzi ena amayamba choncho. Koma pali kusiyana pakati pa kukhala waubwenzi ndi kukopana koma chibadwa chanu chidzakuuzani.
4. Kukopana mwaulemu
Kukopana mwaulemu…inde, pali anthu ambiri omwe amakonda kusunga zokopa zawo pansi pa radar. Nyengo zinyake ŵakughanaghana makora mwakuti ivyo ŵakumutemwa vingaŵa vyambura kumanyikwa. Mitundu yokopana imeneyi imatengedwa kuti ndi yoona kwambiri, komabe. Munthu wofewa, wachete, wodekha ali ndi chidwi chofuna kukudziwani… ndani sangafune zimenezo? Ndipo uku ndi kukopana koyenera, sichoncho?
5. Kuseweretsa kukopana
Munthu wokonda kukopana akhoza kukhala amene mumamutcha kuti malo opangira mabomba. Munthu amene amagwiritsa ntchito kukopana kuti apeze chinachake, alowe m'gulu ili.
Zitha kukhala zosiyana ndi munthu amene amangofuna kukopana ndi ena n’cholinga choti apitirize kuwagwira kapena kuwagwira ntchito ina kapena kungowalamulira pamene akusangalala ndi kusasangalala kwa mnzakeyo. Anthu amene ali pabanja komanso okopana ndi anthu amene nthawi zambiri amakhala okopana.
Tsopano lingalirani izi, mutaimirira pamzere pa golosale, mwamuna/mkazi womangika ali ndi ngolo yosefukira akuyang’ana mwachibwanabwana kaamba ka kutenga nthaŵi yaitali chonchi. Mukadatani?
A. kumwetuliranso kumuuza kuti zili bwino. Mwina kucheza pang'ono, kuseka ndiyeno kupita njira zanu zosiyana.
B. Tembenuzirani nkhope yanu ndikuyang'ana kumbali.
C. Mutha kukambirana, kukulitsa ndi kukanikiza mwayiwu ndikufunsa nambala yawo yafoni mutayesa chidwi chawo.
Kuti mupeze makanema ambiri a akatswiri chonde lembani ku Youtube Channel yathu. Dinani apa.
Ngati munasankha A, wokwatira kapena wosakwatiwa, ndinu munthu wokopana wopanda vuto kapena mumakonda kukopana kwabwino. Tonse timakopana ngakhale sitikudziwa. Mumafalitsa vibe yabwino, kupangitsa ena kudzimva bwino.
Ngati mwasankha B, Ndikufuna kunena, kumwetulira ndikuvomereza munthu wina, kuwapangitsa kumva kuti 'akuwoneka' nthawi zina ndiko kusiyana pakati pa tsiku labwino ndi loipa kwa iwo. Choncho, sekereraninso wina akakumwetulirani.
Ngati mwasankha C, iyi ndiye njira yopusitsa kuti musamalire.
Mwina apa ndi pamene mukudutsa malire pankhani yokopana. Ngati ndinu osakwatiwa ndiye kuti kuthekera kuchita munthu ndi luso lofunika ngati mukufuna kusangalala m'moyo ndipo nthawi zina kuyamba chibwenzi.
Ngati ndinu mbeta kapena wokwatiwa ndipo mumatha kuona kuti winayo sakumasuka koma mukupitiriza kukambirana zomwe mukukankhira pakati pa kukopana kwabwino ndi kosayenera. Choncho chenjerani. Dzisamalireni nokha ndi munthu winayo.
Kukhala wogwirizana ndi momwe mawu anu akukhudzira kumapangitsa kusiyana pakati pa inu kukhala chosokoneza ndi kutsekereza anthu kapena kukhala munthu wosangalatsa kukhala nawo.
Kodi munayamba mwadzifunsapo za kuchuluka kwa kukopana ngati munthu ali pabanja?
Ukakwatiwa Ndi Mnzako Wakukopana
Werengani zochitika zongopeka zili pansipa ndipo mumvetsetsa bwino zomwe ndikunena.
Maso ake anamugwira mchipindamo. Onse anali ndi mabanja awo kudya chakudya chamadzulo. Kuyang'ana kwawo kunakhudza ndi kunyezimira kutali, kufunafuna wina ndi mnzake mu mphindi imodzi. Chakudya chamadzulo chidapitilira ndi azibwenzi awo.
Anaseka mokwezako pang'ono, chibwano chake chidagwira pa ngodya yomwe kuwala kwake kumagwera pansi pankhope pake pamene amadutsa ndikumasula miyendo yake yayitali yopanda kanthu. Iye anakhala kumbuyo; malaya ake adamukokera pachifuwa pomwe amalankhula mawu ozama kwambiri kuposa momwe amagwiritsira ntchito nthawi zambiri. Othandizana nawowo ankaganiza kuti zonyansazo ndi maso aakulu anali osadziwa pamasewera omwe adachitika kale.
Muli ndi gulu la anzanu ndipo mukuona mnzakoyo akuponya maso kwa mwamuna wake yemwe amadziwika kuti amakopana ndi mkazi wa mnzake. Ngakhale kuti anamuuza kuti sakukonda, mwamuna wa mnzanuyo sakutha kuima ndipo amalola kuti ayambe kukopana naye nthawi zonse mukakumana. Zakhala zikuchitika kwa zaka zambiri kotero kuti aliyense sakusamalanso.
Mukuwona mnyamata ali paphwando. Iye ndi wowoneka bwino ndipo maso ake amavina pa zopusa zomwe zimachitika pamenepo maso anu akakumana. Mukumwetulira. Mumagundana pamzere kuti mutenge chakudya chanu. Mumayamba kucheza mukazindikira kuti nonse ndinu okwatirana komanso mumakonda nyimbo zamtundu womwewo. Mumalankhula za mabanja anu ndi nyimbo, kusangalala ndi chikondi chogawana pa izo. Mumanyamuka nkupita kunyumba kukauza mwamuna wanu za kukumana ndi bamboyu. Nthawi zonse mukamaimba nyimbo zomwe mumaganiza usiku umenewo.
Kukopana kwabwino kungakhale koipa mukakhala pabanja komanso mukukopana. Koma kodi mwakwatirana ndi munthu wokopana? Muyenera kuyang'ana malangizo awa.
1. Kukopana ndi munthu mmodzi pagulu mobwerezabwereza?
Ngati inde, ndiye kuti china chake chikukula kapena akufuna kuti chifike pamlingo wina.
2. Kulankhula nanu za momwe amachitira ndi amuna kapena akazi anzawo?
Ngati mnzanuyo akukuuzani za anthu chidwi ndi zocheza oseketsa, iwo anali ndi amuna kapena akazi anzawo popanda inu kumverera omasuka kapena kuti censoring kapena kusefa kucheza mulibe nkhawa.
3. Kupanga mipata yolankhulana naye mwamseri?
Kuyambitsa kapena kusinthana mauthenga kapena kukambirana maso ndi maso zomwe zingawathandize kukhala okha ndi munthuyo. Izi zingapangitse kuti kukopana kwabwino kukhale chibwenzi chokhudza mtima.
4. Kulankhula zosayenera kapena kukamba nkhani zogonana mobwerezabwereza pamaso pa munthu?
Kulankhula za moyo wawo kapena kugonana kwanu ngakhale mutakhala pamaso panu ndikuitana munthu winayo kuti aganizire za iwo m'njira yogonana.
5. Kupepesa mobwerezabwereza chifukwa cholankhula zosayenera?
'Adzandipha ngati atadziwa zomwe ndimaganiza' nthawi zambiri amalankhula kapena amavomereza kuti akukopana ndi munthu wina kuposa momwe mungafunire. Ubwenzi umenewo ukupita kumalo osayenera.
6. Kodi bwenzi lanu limachita nawo ubwenzi mosayenera?
Kumanga loko la tsitsi kuseri kwa khutu, kugwira bondo kapena mikono ya wina ndizizindikiro zosonyeza kuti akumufuna.
7. Kusamveka bwino za momwe banja lanu lilili?
Ngati mnzanuyo akuwoneka ngati chibwenzi chanu sichili chachikulu kapena chili m'madzi ovuta pamaso pa anthu makamaka pamaso pa anthu ena, angakhale akuyesera kuchepetsa kukhudzidwa kwawo ndi kudzipereka kwawo.
Kukopana ndikwabwino kukakhalabe kosangalatsa, kochezeka komanso kopambana. Kulumikizana kulikonse komwe kumapangitsa munthu kukhala wosamasuka kumabweretsa chisokonezo ndi zovuta. Mosakayikira ndi mzere wovuta kuyendamo. Kukopana nthawi zambiri kumatengera kukopeka komanso kuzindikirana.
Sungani kuwala. Pitirizani kukopana bwino.
Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
