Zizindikiro 11 Zokhumudwitsa Mwamuna Wanu Akusowa Bwenzi Lake

Kufalitsa chikondi

Kuzindikira kuti mwamuna wako wakhala akukunyengererani kumabwera ngati vuto lalikulu lomwe limakupangitsani kumva ngati moyo womwe mwamanga mopweteka ukuphwanyidwa pamaso panu. Mukusiyidwa mukulimbana ndi kamvuluvulu wamalingaliro - kuwawa, mkwiyo, manyazi, ndi kuwawa - ndipo mutha kuvutika kuti mupeze njira yakutsogolo. Zotsatira za kuchita chigololo zimakhala zowawa kwambiri kwa wachinyengo komanso woperekedwa kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wake. Zimakhala zosapiririka kwambiri ngati mutayamba kuwona zizindikiro kuti mwamuna wanu akusowa wokondedwa wake.

Zili choncho chifukwa ngati akungofunabe naye, pali mwayi waukulu kuti mwamuna wanu akadali ndi malingaliro okondana naye. Lankhulani za kuwonjezera chipongwe pa choipa. Tsopano, chifukwa cha kufooka kwamalingaliro komwe mungakhaleko kuyambira pomwe mudayamba kuwona zizindikiro kuti mwamuna wanu ali pachibwenzi kuti mantha anu akwaniritsidwe, ndikofunikira kuwonetsetsa kuti mukuwerenga bwino lomwe.

Kodi amamusowa mkazi winayo kapena ndi kungodzimvera chisoni kapena kunyenga kudziimba mlandu kosonyeza m'njira zosiyanasiyana? Ndikofunikira kudziwa kusiyana kwake kuti muthane ndi vutoli moyenera. Kuti ndikuthandizeni kusiyanitsa, ndikuwunikira zina mwa zizindikiro zomwe mwamuna wokwatiwa amamvera mbuye wake ndikumusowa, ndi chidziwitso kuchokera kwa akatswiri odziwa za ubale ndi alangizi apabanja.

Zizindikiro 11 Zosonyeza Kuti Mwamuna Wanu Akusowa Bwenzi Lake - Zokhumudwitsa Koma Zowona

M'ndandanda wazopezekamo

Mnzake wamalingaliro - tiyeni timutchule Jane - adakumana ndi vuto lomwe mwamuna wake yemwe adakhala naye zaka 13 adagwa. kukondana ndi bwenzi lake ndipo adamumvera chisoni patatha chaka atayembekeza kuti adathetsa chibwenzicho atamumva akumutchula dzina lake kutulo. Apa m’pamene anayamba kusamala kwambiri za khalidwe lake, ndipo zinaonekeratu kwa iye kuti pamene mwamuna wakeyo anasankha kukhala naye pabanja, iye ankangokhalira kuchita chilichonse.

Iye anandiuza zakukhosi tsiku lina kuti: “Sindikukumbukira nthaŵi yomaliza imene anasekadi kapena kusangalala ndi chinachake. Zili ngati ndikukhala ndi chigoba cha mwamuna amene anali kale. Zizindikiro zimene mwamuna wanga amafuna mkazi wina zimaonekera bwino masana. Zimandipweteka mtima kumuona, kutiona, tikukhala motere. N’chifukwa chiyani amamusowa kwambiri mkazi winayo? Chifukwa chiyani sindili wabwino?

Jane, pamapeto pake, adaganiza kuti palibe chifukwa chokokera ukwati wakufa ndipo adasiyana. Kuzindikira kuti mwamuna wake anaphonya bwenzi lakelo ngakhale atathetsa zinthu zinali zovuta kwa iye kuti agwirizane nazo kuposa chochitika cha chigololo chenichenicho. Iye akugwirabe ntchito pambuyo pa kusakhulupirika kupsinjika maganizo ndikuyesera kumanganso moyo wake.

amamusowa mkazi winayo — Mwamuna wanu akaphonya bwenzi lake, padzakhala mtunda wosalephereka wamalingaliro pakati panu

Poganizira chifukwa chake izi zimachitika, psychotherapist Dr. Aman Bhonsle limati: “Zizindikiro zimene mwamuna wako akusowa wokwatirana naye zimawonekera kokha ngati unansi umenewo unali wozikidwa pa kukhudzika mtima kwakukulu.

Tsopano funso nlakuti, kodi mungadziŵe bwanji ngati zimenezi zakhala zikuchitika m’banja mwanu? Nazi zizindikiro zokhumudwitsa koma zolondola zomwe mwamuna wanu akusowa wokondedwa wake zomwe muyenera kuziganizira:

1. Akuwoneka ngati wosungulumwa

Kodi amamusowa mkazi winayo? Funso ili liyenera kukudutsani m'malingaliro anu, makamaka ngati mukuyesera kuyanjanitsa ndi kumanganso ubale wanu pambuyo pa kusakhulupirika. Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zodziwikiratu kuti mwamuna wanu akadali ndi malingaliro okonda bwenzi lake ndipo amamusowa ndikuti amadzipatula.

Mwina safuna kulankhula nanu
Angachite manyazi kucheza nanu
Angawonekere wotanganidwa
Akhoza kusonyeza zizindikiro za dzanzi m'maganizo

Mwamuna akhoza kuvutika kuti apeze momwe angathetsere chibwenzi ngati chibwenzicho chinazikika mu chiyanjano chakuya. Ngati iye ndi mnzake wa pachibwenzi atakangamirana pamavuto ndi pamavuto, n’kuthandizana pamavuto ndi kukhala magwero a chichirikizo ndi chitonthozo, mwamuna akhoza kuphonya chisamaliro chenichenicho ndi chifundo chimenecho.
Mphunzitsi wa ubale ndi ubwenzi Shivanya Yogmaya

2. Ndi wokwiya komanso wosasangalala

Chizindikiro chinanso chodziwikiratu kuti mwamuna wanu akusowa bwenzi lake ndi chakuti chisankho chothetsa chibwenzicho chasokoneza maganizo ake. Zotsatira zake, akhoza kukhala wokwiya komanso wokhumudwa. Uphungu wa zamaganizo Anugrah Edmonds akuti, "Kukondana kosathetsedwa kwa bwenzi kungayambitse ubale wamphamvu miyala. Zingayambitse kusinthasintha kwa maganizo koipitsitsa ndi kupangitsa amuna kulephera kuugwira mtima, kumayambitsa kupsa mtima ndi kupsa mtima.”

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3. Akufanizirani ndi bwenzi lake

Kuti achire ku vuto la chigololo, onse awiri akuyenera kuiwala zomwe zachitikazo osati kumangokhalira kubweza mobwerezabwereza akathana ndi malingaliro awo ndikuganiza zopatsanso mwayi chibwenzi chawo. Komabe, ngati wokondedwa wanu nthawi zonse amabweretsa bwenzi lake, nthawi zambiri ngati njira yakufanizirani ndi iye (ndipo nthawi zonse amatuluka akuwoneka bwino poyerekezera), ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zosatsutsika kuti amasowa wokondedwa wake. Zimasonyezanso kuti anali wotanganidwa kwambiri mu ubale umenewo - mwinamwake, mpaka pamene anali kulingalira kusiya ukwati ndi chibwenzi -ndipo akulimbana naye.

4. Mungazindikire kuti akuona kuti watsekeredwa m’banja

Statistics akusonyeza kuti 5-7% yokha ya anthu amasiya okwatirana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo kwa nthawi yaitali/ukwati ndi zibwenzi zawo. Nthawi zambiri, anthu akakankhira anthu kukankhana, amasankha kukwatirana m’malo mongogonana. Dr. Bhonsle anati: “Zimenezi zikhoza kukhala chifukwa cha zifukwa zosiyanasiyana monga kunyansidwa ndi anthu, chitsenderezo cha banja, kusafuna kuloŵetsa ana m’mavuto a chisudzulo, kapena kusadodometsa chithandizo choperekedwa ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wake.”

Komabe, chifukwa chakuti wasankha kuthetsa chibwenzicho sizikutanthauza kuti maganizo onse amene anali nawo pa munthuyo adzatha nthawi yomweyo. Ngati mwamuna wanu ali wotanganidwa kwambiri, akhoza kuvutika kuti adziwe momwe angagwirire ndi chibwenzi. Kapena ngati akufuna kusiya ukwati n’kupita kwa bwenzi lokwatirana naye, ziyembekezo ndi maloto amene anathetsedwawo angam’chititse chisoni. Zotsatira zake, mukhoza kuyamba kuona zizindikiro zomveka bwino amadziona kuti ali m’chikwati, izi zikuphatikizapo:

Kupewa kuthera nthawi kunyumba
Kukhala wozizira kwa inu
Kuchita nthabwala za momwe ukwati ulili wovuta
Osalankhula za mtsogolo
Maonekedwe okhumudwa, okhumudwa

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5. Sanayesetse kukonza ubale wake ndi inu

Ngakhale nkotheka, kukonza ubale pambuyo pa chinyengo si nthabwala. M’pomveka kuti gawo la mkango la udindo limakhala pa mnzake wachinyengo. Monga uphungu wa zamaganizo Jui Pimple limati: “Ngati mwathetsa kukhulupirira mnzanuyo, muyenera kuyesetsa kuti mubwezerenso kukhulupirirana kwanu.”

Komabe, ngati mnzanuyo sanachitepo kanthu kuti akonzenso kapena kuyesetsa kukulitsanso chidaliro ndi kukonza ubale wake ndi inu kuyambira pomwe mudakumana ndi zovuta zowona zizindikiro zomwe mwamuna wanu ali pachibwenzi kuti aulule zolakwa zake, zitha kukhala chifukwa mtima wake suli mmenemo. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zoonekeratu kuti mwamuna wokwatiwa amamvera mbuye wake ndikumusowa.

6. Akadali mobisa za foni yake

Mukayamba kuwona zizindikiro zomwe mwamuna wanu ali ndi chibwenzi kenako ndikupeza kusakhulupirika kwake, kudalirana kumasokonekera. Kuti muthane ndi vutoli, muyenera kuyesetsa kumanganso chikhulupiriro. Uphungu wa zamaganizo Ridhi Golecha akuti, "Onse awiriwa ayenera kudzipereka kuti azichita zinthu mosabisa kanthu komanso moona mtima ngati akufuna kuyambiranso kukhulupirirana komwe kunatayika." Komabe, ngati mwamuna wanu akulimbanabe ndi funso la momwe angapitirizire chibwenzi ndipo akumulakalaka, iye sangakwaniritse lonjezoli.

infographic on Zizindikiro za Mwamuna Wanu Akusowa Bwenzi Lake — Zizindikiro 11 Zosonyeza Kuti Mwamuna Wanu Akusowa Bwenzi Lake

7. Amadzitchinjiriza

Akayambanso kuyambiranso kuchita chigololo, mwamuna ndi mkazi wake ayenera kukambirana kangapo kovutirapo. Monga mnzanu woperekedwa, mukhoza kukhala ndi angapo mafunso oti mufunse mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wosakhulupirika, ndipo ngati anadzipereka kukonzanso ubwenzi wanu, adzayankha mafunso amenewa ndi kuyesetsa kukuchepetsani nkhawa zanu.

Komabe, ngati mwamuna wanu adzitchinjiriza ndi kukwiya nthawi iliyonse mukanena zolakwa zake ndipo sakufuna kumva mawu otsutsana ndi mnzake, ichi ndi chizindikiro chodetsa nkhawa. Mungadabwe kuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani mwamuna wanga amateteza mnzawo amene amacheza naye?” Chabwino, chifukwa ayenera kuti amamukondabe ndipo amasowa kukhala naye m'moyo wake. Zizindikiro za kutengeka kwake m'malingaliro mwa mkazi wina sizingakhale zowoneka bwino kuposa pamenepo.

8. Amamuzembera chibwenzi chake pa social media

Shirley, yemwe ndinkagona naye ku koleji komanso mnzanga wapamtima, anazindikira kuti mwamuna wake anali pachibwenzi. Kuti apatsenso banja mwayi wina ndikuyambanso, banjali linasamukira ku Canada. Patatha zaka zisanu ndi ana awiri, adapeza dzina la mkaziyo mu mbiri yakusaka kwa mwamuna wake pa Facebook. Adakhala tcheru ndipo adayamba kutsatira zomwe adachita pawailesi yakanema mwachinyengo.

Chomukhumudwitsa n’chakuti, iye anapeza kuti mwamuna wake amangokhalira kukangana naye kwa maola ambiri tsiku lililonse. Iye anati: “N’chifukwa chiyani amamusowa kwambiri mkazi winayo ngakhale patatha nthawi yonseyi?

Ngati muwona chinthu chofananacho pambuyo pa chigololo chaukwati wanu, chiyenera kukhala tcheru. Social media stalking ndi chizindikiro chodziwikiratu cha malingaliro otsalira komanso chakuti mwamuna wanu sanathe kudziwa momwe angathetsere chibwenzi.

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9. Ubwenzi wapamtima wanu wapambana

Kumanganso ubwenzi pambuyo pa mkuntho wa kusakhulupirika wagwedeza maziko a ubale wanu sikophweka. Uphungu wa zamaganizo Nandita Rambhia Iye anati: “Anthu okwatirana ambiri amakhala ndi vuto akafuna kukhala pachibwenzi pambuyo poti chigololo cha m’modzi chaonekera chifukwa pali zinthu zambiri zimene zimalepheretsa kugwirizana maganizo. kugonana. "

Komabe, pamene wobera mnzakeyo wachokadi pa chibwenzi, pali cholinga komanso kuyesetsa moona mtima kuthetsa kusiyana kumeneku ndi kukonza. Kumbali ina, ngati mwamuna wanu akadali wopachikidwa pamtima ndi wokondedwa wake, iye sangasonyeze chidwi cha kutsitsimula ubwenzi wamaganizo ndi thupi muunansiwo. Ngati mwakhala mukufunsa, "Kodi ndi zizindikiro ziti zomwe mwamuna wanga akufuna mkazi wina?", Ichi ndi chimodzi chomwe muyenera kuyang'ana.

10. Akukumbukira bwenzi lakelo ndi anzake apamtima, kapena wachibwenzi

zizindikiro kuti mwamuna wokwatira ali ndi chikondi kwa mbuye wake — Kuthetsa chibwenzi sikutanthauza kuti maganizo onse amene anali nawo pa munthuyo amatha nthawi yomweyo

N’zokayikitsa kuti mwamuna wanu angakuchitireni nkhanza kwambiri mukamakumbukira za mkazi wina amene ali pamaso panu kapena kulankhula za iye m’njira imene imakuchititsani kudzifunsa kuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani mwamuna wanga amateteza mwamuna amene ankakwatirana naye?” Komabe, ngati amamukondabe ndipo akumusowa, angalole kuti kulakalaka ndi kupwetekedwa mtima kupitirire pamaso pa anzake apamtima kapena munthu amene amamukhulupirira.

Ngati mukuyang'ana zizindikiro zomwe mwamuna wanu akusowa wokondedwa wake, zingakuthandizeni kuyesa momwe anthu amkati mwake amachitira atatchulidwa za mkaziyo. Inde, kokha ngati muwakhulupirira ndi kudziwa kuti akudziwa za kulakwa kwa mnzanuyo. Chilichonse chochepa chobwerezabwereza chomveka bwino chakuti amanong'oneza bondo chifukwa cha zochita zake ndipo wayika chibwenzi kumbuyo kwake ndi mbendera yofiira kuti mwamuna wanu sanayambebe kudziwa momwe angagwiritsire ntchito chibwenzi.

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11. Iye amaika patsogolo chilichonse kupatula ukwati wanu

Kodi amamusowa mkazi winayo? Kodi ndi zizindikiro ziti zomwe mwamuna wanga akufuna mkazi wina? Kodi mafunso amenewa akudetsani nkhawa? Chabwino, icho chokha, ndi chizindikiro chakuti chinachake chalakwika. Mafunso awa ndi zotsatira za chibadwa chanu chotengera kusowa kwake ndalama muukwati ndikulakalaka kukhala ndi mkazi winayo.

Ngati unansi umenewo unali waukulu kwambiri moti mwamuna wanu anali kuganiza zochoka m’banja n’kupita kwa bwenzi lokwatirana naye ndipo wasankha kukhalabe chifukwa cha thayo ndi zitsenderezo za gulu kapena za m’banja, iye sadzachita khama kukonzanso unansi wake ndi inu. Pamenepa, akhoza kuika zonse patsogolo - ntchito yake, mabwenzi ake, makolo ake, ana anu, zomwe amakonda - kuposa ukwati wanu. Kuyesedwa kwambiri muukwati ndi zina mwa zizindikiro zowoneka bwino za mwamuna wanu kuti akusowa bwenzi lake.

Palibe njira yophweka yovomerezera kuti mwina mwamuna wanu akuganiza zochoka m’banja n’kukakhala pachibwenzi ndipo wabwerera chifukwa chakuti anakakamizika kuchita kapena kuthana ndi zizindikiro zoti mwamuna wanu waphonya bwenzi lake.

Komabe, Dr. Bhonsle anati: “Kumbukirani kuti nthaŵi zonse mumakhala ndi chosankha. Poganizira zimenezi, tiyeni tione zimene mungachite ngati mutazindikira kuti mwamuna wanu amamukondabe mwamuna kapena mkazi wake ndipo akumusowa.

Zoyenera Kuchita Ngati Mwamuna Wanu Akadali ndi Zokonda Zokondana Naye

"Ndimawona zizindikiro zomwe mwamuna wanga akufuna mkazi wina ndipo sindisamala," adatero palibe mkazi. Kuzindikira kuti mwamuna wanu akusunga malingaliro kwa mkazi winayo ndipo amaphonya kukhala naye m'moyo wake kungakhalenso chimodzimodzi zomvetsa chisoni monga kutulukira kwa nkhaniyo, ngati sichoncho. Ndiye, mumathana bwanji ndi izi ndikupeza njira yopita patsogolo?

Dziloleni kuti mukhale ndi malingaliro, malingaliro, ndi malingaliro aliwonse omwe mukuzindikira uku, ndipo pezani njira yowafotokozera. Kumbukirani kuti palibe vuto kukwiya, kupwetekedwa mtima kapena kumva kuwawa.
Uphungu wa zamaganizo Dhriti Bhavsar

Mukangothana ndi vuto lamalingaliro lobwera chifukwa cha kutengeka maganizo kwa mwamuna wanu m'chibwenzi chake mungayambe kuyang'ana njira yopita patsogolo. Pachifukwa ichi, Dhriti amapereka malangizo awa:

Kambiranani ndi mwamuna wanu: Ichi chikhoza kukhala chimodzi mwazinthu zovuta kwambiri zomwe mungachite, koma palibe njira ina yolumikizirana mwachindunji mukawona zizindikiro zomwe mwamuna wanu waphonya bwenzi lake. Auzeni kuti mwaona kuti amamukondabe ndipo kambiranani tanthauzo la tsogolo la ukwati wanu.
Kumbukirani kuti pamafunika awiri kuti banja liziyenda bwino: Yankho la mwamuna wanu lidzakuuzani zonse zomwe muyenera kudziwa za tsogolo la banja lanu. Simungathe kusunga ubale wabwino nokha, ndipo ngati mwamuna wanu sakufuna kuti zinthu ziyende bwino, mungovomereza kuti ndiye mathero a ulendo wanu waukwati. Kumbali ina, akavomereza kuti wasowa bwenzi lake lokwatirana naye n’kunena kuti akufunika nthaŵi yothetsa malingaliro ake ndi kugwirizananso nanu, chiyembekezo chidakalipo.
Ganizirani chithandizo cha maanja: Kumanganso ukwati pambuyo pa chibwenzi kungakhale vuto lalikulu, ndipo nthawi zambiri, anthu amasowa njira yoyendetsera okha. Ngati mukuwona chiyembekezo choyanjanitsidwa ngakhale kuti mwamuna wanu akufunitsitsa kukhala pachibwenzi, kupita kuchipatala kungakhale njira yabwino kwambiri yokhotakhota. Ngati mukufuna thandizo la akatswiri kuti muthane ndi vutoli, Upangiri wa upangiri wa Bonobology ndili pano chifukwa cha inu·
Dzichitireni chifundo: Pamodzi ndi kupwetekedwa mtima ndi mkwiyo, kusakhulupirika kwa mnzako kumabweretsa manyazi, kudziimba mlandu, ndi kusayenerera. Pamene mukuyang'ana mwamuna wanu akudandaula chifukwa cha chibwenzi chake, muyenera kupita pansi pa dzenje la kalulu, "Chifukwa chiyani sindili woyenera kwa iye?" Munthawi ngati izi, muyenera kudzichitira chifundo ndikudzipereka kudzisamalira nokha, m'malingaliro komanso mwakuthupi.

Zolozera Mfungulo

Mwamuna wanu akhoza kuphonya bwenzi lake lachibwenzi ngati chibwenzicho chinali chozikidwa pamalingaliro amphamvu
Zizindikiro zosonyeza kuti mwamuna wanu waphonya mwamuna kapena mkazi wake ndi monga kukhala wotalikirana naye, kukwiya, kukhumudwa, kudzimva kuti watsekeredwa m’banja, komanso kusayesetsa kukonza ubwenzi wake ndi inu.
Ngati muzindikira kuti mwamuna wanu wasowa bwenzi lake, kambiranani naye za izo. Yankho lake lidzakuuzani zonse zomwe muyenera kudziwa za tsogolo la banja lanu
Ngati muwona chiyembekezo kuti akufuna kuthana ndi vuto lakelo kuti agwirizanenso nanu, ganizirani chithandizo cha maanja.
Kupyolera mu zonsezi, khalani okoma mtima kwa inu nokha ndikudzipereka kudzisamalira nokha

Ngati mungamvetse zambiri kapena zizindikiro zonse zomwe mwamuna wanu amasowa bwenzi lake, ndikupepesa kwambiri pazomwe mukukumana nazo. Iyi ndi nthawi yovuta, mosakayikira, koma dziwani kuti ipita. Monga momwe Hal Borland amanenera, "Palibe nyengo yozizira yomwe imakhala kwamuyaya; palibe kasupe yemwe amadumpha nthawi yake."

Ibibazo

1. Zitenga nthawi yayitali bwanji kuti mwamuna wanga athetse chibwenzi chake?

Ndizovuta kupereka nthawi yeniyeni ya nthawi yomwe munthu amatenga nthawi yayitali kuti athetse chibwenzi chake, chifukwa yankho la funsoli limadalira zinthu zosiyanasiyana monga kugwirizana kwamaganizo komwe adagawana ndi wokondedwa wake, kutalika ndi chikhalidwe cha chibwenzicho, mkhalidwe wa ubale wake ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wake, komanso umunthu wake komanso katundu wamaganizo. Komabe, pankhani ya nthawi yayitali, zingatenge kulikonse mpaka chaka kuti mubwererenso m'malingaliro.

2. Kodi mwamuna amasowa wokondedwa wake?

Ngati mwamuna adagwirizana kwambiri ndi bwenzi lake lachibwenzi, wokondana naye m'malingaliro osati m'zofuna zakuthupi zokha, ndipo amamva kuti akuthandizidwa, kumumvetsetsa, ndikukondedwa ndi iye, adzaphonya bwenzi lake.

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Mwamuna Wanga Akanachezabe Ndi Mkazi Amene Anandinyenga

Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.