Ife, anthu, timalakalaka ndikuchita bwino pamigwirizano yakuya, yatanthauzo. Ngakhalenso kwambiri mu maubwenzi athu achikondi. Koma kugwirizana kumeneku sikuyenera kutibweretsera ufulu wathu wodziyimira pawokha komanso kudzimva tokha - ndi momwe ubale wodalirana umakhalira.
Komabe, kulinganiza uku kokhazikitsa ubale wolimba popanda kudzitaya nokha ndikovuta kukwaniritsa. Dalirani okondedwa wanu kuti akuthandizeni kwambiri ndipo mutha kukhala odalirana. Gwiritsirani ntchito kufunikira kodziyimira pawokha ndipo mutha kuwoneka ngati muli kutali ndi ubale wanu.
Kudalirana kwabwino pakati pa okondedwa ndi chizindikiro cha ubale wabwino. Zachidziwikire, uwu ndi mgwirizano womwe umafuna. Koma kodi kudalirana ndi chiyani? Kodi chimasiyanitsa ndi chiyani? Ndipo koposa zonse, mungakulilitse bwanji muubwenzi wanu? Tiyeni tifufuze.
Kodi Ubale Kudalirana Ndi Chiyani?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Tanthauzo lodalirana - "ubwino kapena chikhalidwe chodalirana kapena kudalirana wina ndi mzake" -kuyika malingaliro abwino kwambiri a ubalewu kukhala wosinthika. Anthu aŵiri akakhala paubwenzi wodalirana, amaona kuti chikondi chimene chili pakati pawo n’chofunika kwambiri, koma amatero mosataya mtima.
Izi zikutanthawuza kuthekera kozindikira kusatetezeka ndikukulitsa kulumikizana koyenera komwe kumawalola kuti azichita bwino pa kudalirana kwamalingaliro. Panthawi imodzimodziyo, amazindikira kuti safunikira mnzawo kuti awathandize. Iwo ali athunthu ngati aliyense payekhapayekha ndipo amathandizana wina ndi mnzake mu ubale wodalirana pakati pa okondedwa.
Nthawi zambiri timaphunzitsidwa kuti tiziika ufulu wathu pamlingo wapamwamba kwambiri. Komabe, kuganizira kwambiri za kukhala wodziimira pawokha nthawi zambiri kumalepheretsa luso lathu lokulitsa ubale wamaganizo . Izi zingasokoneze ubale wabwino komanso wa nthawi yayitali.
Kudalirana kumatiphunzitsa kusiyanitsa pakati pa umunthu wathu ndi kugwirizana kwathu ndi munthu wina. Othandizana nawo muubwenzi wodalirana safuna kutsimikizirana kapena kupanga zofuna. Muli ndi mwayi woti muyambe kuchita zinthu zaumwini popanda maziko a ubale akuwopsezedwa.
Chifukwa chake, maubwenzi odalirana amawonetsa ubale wabwino kwambiri pakati pa okwatirana awiri. Chifukwa chake popeza tafotokoza za kufunika kwa maubwenzi oterowo, ndikofunikira kumvetsetsa momwe mungachokere kudalirana kupita ku zibwenzi zanu. Ndi chitsanzo chili m'munsichi, tiyeni tilowe mozama m'mene ubale wodalirana ungakhazikitsire.
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Kodi Chitsanzo cha Ubale Wodalirana Ndi Chiyani?
Tinene, okwatirana ali ndi zokonda zosiyana. Ngakhale kuti wina amakonda chilengedwe ndi kunja, winayo ndi wapanyumba. Kwa mnzanu m'modzi, njira yabwino yopumula ndiyo kutenga nthawi yopita kumapiri kukayenda. Winayo amasangalala kukhala kunyumba atadzipiringiza pabedi ndi buku, losagwirizana ndi dziko.
Mu ubale wodalirana pakati pa okwatirana, onse ali ndi ufulu wochita zinthu mogwirizana ndi malingaliro awo okonzanso popanda aliyense wa iwo kukwiyira mnzake. Mnzawo wina amapita kukayenda maulendo atali ndi kukwera mapiri nthawi iliyonse akapeza nthawi. Wina amakhala kumapeto kwa sabata ali m'nyumba mwawo. Palibe mikangano, mikangano yaubwenzi kapena mikangano chifukwa cha malingaliro osiyanasiyana awa.
Osakakamiza ena kusiya zokonda zawo kapena zokonda zawo ndikukumbatira zawo.
Mawu ngati akuti 'mutabwera nane kamodzi, mudzaona zimene mukuphonya' kapena 'simungathe kukhala nane ngakhale Loweruka ndi Lamlungu limodzi' sikutanthauza kukakamizana wina ndi mnzake kuti agwirizane nazo.
M’malo mwake, amalimbikitsana kuti atsatile mtima wawo ndi kucita zofuna zawo. Pa nthawi imodzimodziyo, muziganizira kwambiri kugwiritsa ntchito bwino nthawi imene amakhala limodzi.
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Kodi Makhalidwe a Maubwenzi Odalirana Ndi Chiyani?
N'zofala kusokoneza ubale wodalirana ndi wodalirana. Komabe, awiriwa sangakhale osiyana kwambiri. Ubale wodalirana umadziwika ndi kusowa malire, kusinthana kwa mlandu , kulankhulana kosagwira ntchito, kunyengerera, khalidwe lolamulira komanso kulimbana ndi kukondana maganizo.
Kumbali ina, mawonekedwe a maubwenzi odalirana akuphatikizapo. Ndiye, ndimatha bwanji kuzindikira maudindo anga ndi kuthekera kwanga pakulumikizana kodalirana ndi maubale? Werengani za izi, ndipo mumvetsetsa zoyenera kuchita.
1. Kulankhulana mwamphamvu
Kulankhulana, kulankhulana, kulankhulana - ichi ndi chinthu chimodzi chothandiza komanso chofunikira kwambiri chomwe chimapangitsa kuti maubwenzi akule ndikuyenda bwino. Paubwenzi wodalirana, onse awiri atha kugwiritsa ntchito kulumikizana kuti alimbikitse mgwirizano wawo.
Amadzifotokozera momveka bwino komanso moona mtima, amamvetsera moleza mtima komanso osasewera masewera olakwa. Kulankhulana momasuka kumeneku kumawathandiza kuti azigwirizana ndi zomwe wina akuyembekezera komanso zomwe akufuna.
Chifukwa chake, palibe mpata wa kusamvana pakati pawo.
2. Kulemekeza malire
Pakakhala kudalirana kwabwino pakati pa okondedwa, akhoza kukhazikitsa ndi kulemekeza malire mu chiyanjano chawo. Onse awiri ali ndi malingaliro awo, zikhulupiriro, zikhulupiliro, zokhumba ndi zokhumba zawo. Amagawana izi momveka bwino komanso amavomereza mfundo yakuti malingaliro awo pa moyo sangafanane 100 peresenti.
Kutengera ndi kumvetsetsa kumeneku, amakhazikitsa mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya malire molingana ndi momwe alili okonzeka kusintha ndikugwirizana kuti akhale ndi ubale wolimba popanda kutaya umunthu wawo.
3. Malo aumwini
Munthu aliyense ali ndi zokonda zake, zokonda zake, zomwe amakonda komanso zomwe amakonda. Ubale wodalirana umathandizira malo aumwini kuti achite izi. Palibe amene amayembekeza kukhala ogwirizana m'chiuno ndi mnzake nthawi zonse.
Iwo ali omasuka mwangwiro kuthera nthawi popanda wina ndi mzake popanda kudziimba mlandu. Izi zimawathandiza kuyembekezera kudzakhalanso limodzi. Kuyamikira ndi kuvomereza malo aumwini mu chiyanjano kumachokera kumvetsetsa kuti munthu wina sangakhale gwero la chisangalalo chanu.
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4. Kulekerera
Monga ena onse, maanja omwe ali muubwenzi wodalirana ali ndi gawo lawo la mikangano, kusiyana ndi mikangano. Koma maganizo odalirana amene amazikidwa pa lingaliro la kukumbatirana kukhala wapadera amalola onse okwatirana kukhala ololera kwa wina ndi mnzake.
Ngakhale wina asamvetse zomwe wina akufuna kapena zomwe akufuna kuchita, amakhala oleza mtima, achifundo komanso amamvera chisoni. M'malo molola kuti kusiyana kwawo kukhale koipa , amaika maganizo awo pa kusunga ubale wabwino.
5. Kudalirana maganizo
Ngakhale ndi anthu odziyimira pawokha, anthu omwe ali paubwenzi wodalirana amatembenukira kwa wina ndi mnzake kuchokera ku chithandizo chamalingaliro. Sachita mantha kugawana nawo zofooka zawo ndi mantha. Izi zimatheka chifukwa chotsimikizira kuti winayo awathandiza ndi kuwakweza m'malo moweruza ndi kuwadzudzula.
Kudalirana kwabwino kwamalingaliro kumawathandiza kukhala thanthwe la wina ndi mnzake.
6. Kukula mosiyana komabe palimodzi
M'kupita kwa nthawi, zomwe timakumana nazo zimasintha momwe timaonera moyo, zolinga zathu, zokhumba zathu komanso anthu omwe tili. Paubwenzi wodalirana, onse awiri amazindikira kuti ali ndi maulendo awoawo, gawo lomwe amagawana. Uwu ndiye ubale waukulu wodalirana motsutsana ndi kusiyana kodalirana.
Muubwenzi wodalirana, m'modzi mwachisoni amanyamula udindo wonse ndikuyika mphamvu zawo pakukulitsa mnzakeyo. Koma mu maubwenzi odalirana, onse awiri amakhalabe odziimira koma amalimbikitsana nthawi imodzi. Izi zimapanga kulingalira komwe kumawathandiza kuzindikira kuti kusintha kulikonse kwaumwini kumakhudza kusintha kwa ubale wawo.
Ngakhale zinthu zitavuta bwanji, kuzindikira uku ndi kukhulupirirana zimawalola kuti akule padera koma palimodzi.
7. Cholinga chogawana
Kusiyana kwakukulu pakati pa kudalirana ndi kudziyimira pawokha ndikuti wakale amazindikira kuti ngakhale pali 'iwe ndi ine', palinso 'ife'. 'Ife' imakhala cholinga chogawana mu ubale uliwonse wokhazikika.
Onse okwatirana amadziwa kuti akhoza kukulitsa mgwirizano wokhalitsa popanda kusiya zofuna zawo ndi zolinga zawo kunja kwa chiyanjano. Ubale wodalirana kwambiri ndi kusiyana kodalirana kwagona pakudziyimira pawokha kupanga zisankho zanu komanso kukhala ndi zolinga zogawana ngati okondedwa. M'malo mokakamiza kapena kupanga zisankho kwa wina monga momwe zimakhalira muubwenzi wodalirana, muubwenzi wodalirana, okwatirana amafika pakugawana zolinga.
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Malangizo 6 Omanga Ubale Wodalirana
Ubale wabwino womwe umakhala bwino chifukwa chodalira munthu wina sikuti umangoperekedwa kwa inu nokha. Ndipo ubale uliwonse sumadalirana, umadalirana, umakhala wathanzi kapena woipa kuyambira pachiyambi. Ndi momwe mumakulitsira ndi kukulitsa ubale wanu ndi mnzanu zomwe zimatsimikizira momwe ubale wanu udzakhalire.
Inde, kupanga ubale wodalirana kumafuna khama lokhazikika kuchokera kwa onse awiri. Mukakwaniritsa, ukhoza kukhala mgwirizano wosangalatsa kwambiri womwe mungakumane nawo. Kukuthandizani kuti mukafike kumeneko, nawa maupangiri 6 otsimikizira kuti mukulitse kudalirana bwino muubwenzi wanu:
1. Dzidziweni bwino
Kudzifunsa, "Kodi ndingamvetsetse bwanji maudindo anga ndi kuthekera kwanga mu kulumikizana kodalirana ndi maubale?" Chabwino, kuti ubale uliwonse ukhaledi wopindulitsa, ntchito ndi khama zimayamba ndi inu nokha.
Nthawi zambiri maubwenzi athu amakhala osokonezeka komanso amatsutsana chifukwa sitidziwa kuti ndife ndani komanso zomwe tikufuna m'moyo. Chifukwa chake, khalani ndi nthawi yoti mudzimvetse bwino ndikudziwa zomwe mukufuna muukadaulo, zauzimu, zosangalatsa komanso zochitika pamoyo.
Kenako, yesetsani kukhala ndi moyo wabwino. Inde, ubale wanu ndi gawo lofunika kwambiri la moyo wanu. Koma si kukhala zonse ndi mapeto a moyo wonse. Kuti ubale wanu ukhale wodalirana, ndikofunikira kudziwa bwino zomwe mukufuna pamoyo wanu ndikupanga moyo womwe umapitilira inu ndi mnzanuyo.
2. Khalani ndi maubwenzi ena
Kutengera bwenzi lanu kuti akwaniritse zosowa zanu zonse kutha kuyika chikakamizo chambiri pa iwo ndi mosemphanitsa. Ichi ndichifukwa chake ndikofunikira kukhala ndi gulu lamkati la anthu omwe mungadalire ndikutembenukirako kuti akuthandizeni komanso kukulangizani.
Kuti mupange ubale wodalirana, muyenera kukhala ndi nthawi yocheza ndi anzanu, achibale komanso ogwira nawo ntchito. Izi zidzakuthandizani kuvomereza mfundo yakuti okondana nawo sayenera kuchita zonse pamodzi kapena kukhala okhudzidwa m'mbali zonse za moyo wa wina ndi mzake.
Nthawi zazifupi izi zimakuwonjezerani ndikukutsitsimutsani, kukulolani kuti mubwerere ku SO yanu yotsitsimutsidwa.
3. Khalani ogwirizana ndi zosowa za wina ndi mzake
Nthawi zambiri m'maubwenzi, m'modzi mwa okondedwa amakhala ponseponse pomwe winayo sawoneka. Izi zikachitika, nonse nonse mungayambe kuwonana ngati 'munthu m'modzi'. Ndipamene mumakhala pachiwopsezo chotsekeredwa muubwenzi wodalirana.
Mwachitsanzo, wina atha kungoganiza kuti momwe amachitira pachibwenzi ndi chovomerezeka pomwe wina amawona kuti ndizovuta. Koma chifukwa chakuti sizikugwirizana ndi zomwe wina akuyembekezera komanso zosowa, izi sizimayendetsedwa.
Kulankhulana bwino ndiyo njira yokhayo yopewera misampha yotereyi yomwe ingalepheretse kudalirana kwabwino muubwenzi. Njira yoyenera yodziwira momwe mungasinthire kuchoka pa kudalirana kupita pa kudalirana ndi kupanga kulankhulana kukhala njira yolankhulirana. Muyenera kufotokoza bwino zomwe mukunena komanso kumvetsera mwachidwi mnzanuyo.
Khalani ndi chizoloŵezi chokhala pansi kamodzi pa mlungu ndi kukambirana mmene mumamvera muubwenzi wanu moona mtima kotheratu.
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4. Onetsani mantha ndi zofooka
Simungayembekeze kukhala ndi kudalirana koyenera popanda kulola kuti wina ndi mzake awone mantha anu aakulu ndi zofooka zanu. Gwiritsani ntchito nthawi yanu yolankhulirana ndi pilo kuti muchepetse nkhawa ndikufotokozera mnzanuyo zinthu zomwe zimakulepheretsani kugona usiku.
Akabwezera, amvereni moleza mtima komanso mopanda chiweruzo. Zokambirana zakuya izi zimakuthandizani kuti mulumikizane mwakuya, kukulitsa chidaliro ndikupangitsa kuti mukhale omasuka wina ndi mnzake.
5. Tsatirani zolinga zanu
Tonsefe tili ndi zolinga ndi zolinga zinazake m'moyo. Kungoti muli pachibwenzi tsopano, sizikutanthauza kuti maloto anu ayamba kukhala achiwiri. Ngati mutaya zonse zomwe mumaona kuti n'zofunika kwambiri paubwenzi wanu, mosakayikira mudzayamba kukwiyira mnzanuyo chifukwa cha zimenezo. Ngakhale atakhala kuti sanakupempheni kuti mupereke nsembe zimenezo.
Kukulitsa kudalirana muubwenzi, kuchita bwino monga munthu payekha ndikofunikira. Chifukwa chake, musadziletse kuchita zomwe mukufuna.
6. Nenani 'ayi' popanda mantha kapena kudziletsa
Ufulu wa onse awiri kuti atsatire mtima wawo uli pachimake pa ubale wodalirana. Simunganene ufulu umenewo mpaka mutaphunzira kunena kuti 'ayi' pamene zili zofunika. Mwachitsanzo, mnzanu akupita paulendo ndipo akukupemphani kuti mupite naye. M'malo mwake mukufuna kuthera sabata limodzi ndi anzanu.
Ngati simukukana ndikulola kuti mapulani anu adziwike kwa mnzanuyo, amangoganiza kuti mwakonzekera. Mutha kuletsa zolinga zanu kuti mugwirizane ndi za mnzanuyo. Koma mudzawakwiyira pazimenezi pamlingo wina wake.
Kuphunzira kudzipangitsa kuti mumve ndi kuwonedwa, ndikupereka ufulu womwewo kwa okondedwa anu, ndiyo njira yokhayo yopangira ubale wodalirana.
Yang'anani pa kusintha kwakung'ono, tsiku limodzi pa nthawi, ndikusintha kusintha kumeneku kukhala zizolowezi zabwino. M’kupita kwa nthaŵi, khama lokhazikika ndi kuleza mtima, mukhoza kukulitsa chomangira cha kudalirana kwabwino.
Ibibazo
Maubwenzi odalirana ndi omwe onse awiri amaphunzira kukhala ogwirizana pakati pa umunthu wawo ndi kugwirizana kwawo wina ndi mzake.
Ayi. Ndipotu iwo ndi osiyana.
Kudalirana m'maubwenzi ndikofunikira chifukwa kumakupatsani mwayi wolumikizana kwambiri ndi munthu wina popanda kutaya umunthu wanu.
Kuona mtima, kulankhulana, kudalirana, kudzidziwitsa, zolinga zogawana ndi zofuna zapayekha ndizo maziko a ubale wodalirana.
Pamafunika nthawi ndi khama, koma inde, kudalirana kwabwino kwamaganizo kungakulitsidwe muunansi uliwonse.
Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
