Njira 11 Zothandizira Kuyankhulana Pamabwenzi

Kulankhulana ndi gawo lofunika kwambiri la kukhala ndi mnzanu. Kodi nthawi zambiri mumada nkhawa ndi momwe mungasinthire kulumikizana mu maubwenzi ndikukulitsa ubale wabwino ndi okondedwa wanu? Khulupirirani kapena ayi, pali njira zosavuta zowonjezerera kulankhulana muubwenzi zomwe zingathandize kuti maluwawo azichita bwino.

Ngakhale kuti timadziwa kuti kulankhulana mwaulemu n’kofunika, tonsefe timalakwitsa polankhulana. Kulankhulana kwabwino kumakuthandizani kuti mukhale ndi moyo wathanzi komanso kumawonjezera chidwi. Komabe, vuto ndi loti okwatirana ambiri samamvetsetsa kusiyana pakati pa kuyankhula ndi kuyankhulana.

Kupititsa patsogolo kulankhulana kumatanthauza kuyankhulana mozama komanso mozama. Zimatanthauzanso kumvera zomwe mnzako sakunena. Ndipo simuyenera kuyesetsa kwambiri. Pali njira zosavuta, zoyesedwa, komanso zoyesedwa zowonjezeretsa kulumikizana mu maubwenzi zomwe zingakuthandizeni kulumikizana bwino ndi okondedwa anu.

Muyenera kuyamba ndi mfundo zoyambira mukamaganizira njira zowongolera kulumikizana muubwenzi - ndiye kuti mutha kuyembekezera kukhala ndi maubwenzi abwino komanso achikondi. Kuti tipeze chidziwitso cha akatswiri pankhaniyi, tili ndi mphunzitsi waubwenzi ndi ubale wapamtima Shivanya Yogmayaa (wovomerezeka padziko lonse lapansi mu njira zochiritsira za EFT, NLP, CBT, REBT), yemwe ndi katswiri pa mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya uphungu wa mabanja.

Nchiyani chimayambitsa kusalankhulana bwino mu maubwenzi?

Ndikhoza kuganiza kuti posachedwa, kusiyana kwakukulu kwamaganizo ndi thupi kwachitika pakati pa inu ndi wokondedwa wanu, ndipo simungadzifunse kuti, "Tikuchita chiyani cholakwika? Chabwino, muyenera kuyang'ana pazolakwa zomwe mukupanga ngati banja.

Kunena zowona, mungayembekezere bwanji kukonza ubale pogwiritsa ntchito kulumikizana ngati nonse mumathera nthawi yochulukirapo mukukumbatira mafoni anu am'manja ndi laputopu m'malo mopita kudziko lenileni kukacheza? Ngakhale mu nthawi yaing'ono yomwe mumatha kusungirana wina ndi mzake, mumasokonezedwa nthawi zonse ndikumaganiziridwa ndi malingaliro ena.

Maanja amathanso kupatukana chifukwa cha nsanje kapena kusamvana komwe kumawonetsedwa ndi m'modzi kapena onse awiri. Pakhoza kukhala kusamvetsetsana kambiri pamene simukudziŵa chinenero cha chikondi cha mnzanuyo. Komanso, ngati mukulephera kusunga zomwe mukuyembekezera ndikulakalaka mnzanuyo kuti achite ngati ngwazi yomwe ingathe kukonza zonse mwamatsenga, mudzakumana ndi zovuta pamene mukupeza njira zowonjezera kulankhulana ndi mnzanuyo.

Shivanya anati: “Masiku ano, tapeza kuti nthawi ndi imene imachititsa kuti anthu azilankhulana momasuka.

Njira 11 Zothandizira Kuyankhulana Pamabwenzi

Kukonza kulankhulana muubwenzi kumatanthauza kulimbitsa mgwirizano wa okwatirana ndikukulitsa mgwirizano. Katswiri wathu akuti, "Kuti muzichita bwino polankhulana muubwenzi, mutha kupita patsogolo mwa kukhazikitsa nthawi, kusunga malo kwa wina ndi mnzake, ndikumvetserana wina ndi mnzake. Njira imodzi yabwino yowongolera kulankhulana ndi mnzanu ndikulankhula popanda kumuimba mlandu, kumudzudzula, kapena kumuyambitsa mwadala."

Mwachitsanzo, munganene kuti, “Ndikumva chonchi” m’malo monena kuti “Mumandipangitsa kumva chonchi.” Mukhozanso kuona mmene mumalankhulirana. Pali mitundu itatu ya kulankhulana. kukuvutitsani pamene mukupempha thandizo kwa okondedwa anu ndi kukuthandizani kupeza yankho.

“Si nthaŵi zonse ‘njira yanga kapena khwalala’ m’kukambitsirana kwa akulu.” Mufika pamfundo yapakati ndi kukumana ndi mnzanu wapakati.

Mofanana ndi mazana a mabanja ena, kodi inunso mumamva kuti, “Ndimavutika kulankhula ndi mnzanga”? Ngati inde, pitirizani kuwerenga kuti mudziwe njira 11 zopititsira patsogolo kulankhulana muubwenzi ndikukulitsa maubwenzi ozama ndi okondedwa anu.

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1. Mvetserani mwachidwi pamene mukulankhula

N’zomvetsa chisoni kuti aliyense amakonda kulankhula, koma ndi ochepa okha amene ali ofunitsitsa kumvetsera. Kukambitsirana kwabwino ndiko kumvetsera mwatcheru pamene mukulankhula. Mwina munakumanapo ndi chochitika chosangalatsa pa tsiku lanu, koma ngati muwona kuti tsiku la mnzanuyo silinayende bwino, ikani chidwi chanu pambali ndikupatseni mpata mnzanuyo kuti atchule.

Palibe vuto kusanena chilichonse kapena kupereka upangiri (pokhapokha mutapemphedwa). Nthawi zambiri, wokondedwa wanu amagawana nanu nthawi zoyipa zomwe mukumva, osalandira upangiri uliwonse. Iyi ndi njira yabwino yosonyezera kuti mumakonda mnzanu . Njirayi imakhalabe yomweyo ngakhale mukakhala ndi mkangano. Mvetserani mfundo za mnzanu m'malo mongoyamba kumenyana ndi kudziteteza. Ndikofunikira kulankhula, koma ndikofunikiranso kumvetsera ndi maganizo otseguka.

Shivanya anati: “Kumvetsera popanda kulingalira, kulingalira, kapena kudodometsa kungathandize makamaka ngati mukuyesera kuwongolera kulankhulana kwaubale wakutali.” Kumvetsera ndi mtima wachifundo ndi maganizo omasuka kungathandize kwambiri. Muyenera kuzindikira kuti pali kusiyana pakati pa kumva ndi kumvetsera. kusokoneza.”

2. Siyani ndi zongoganizira

Chimodzi mwa zolepheretsa kwambiri kulankhulana kwabwino ndi kulingalira. Mukudziwa kuti moyo wathu ndi wosayembekezereka komanso wosakhazikika. Mwamuna wanu akhoza kukhala chete chifukwa cha tsiku loipa kuntchito. Msungwana wanu atha kuchedwa chifukwa anali ndi magalimoto ambiri. Kungoganiza kuti choipitsitsa chidzangokupangitsani kuti muzikalipira mnzanu mopanda chifukwa. M'malo mwake, zitha kubwera mwanjira yolumikizirana bwino muubwenzi watsopano pomwe simukudziwabe zambiri za okondedwa wanu ndikuzengereza kufunsa mafunso.

Kumvetsetsa mavuto a ena kumakuthandizani kukhala omvetsa ena. Kumvera ena chisoni mukakambirana kumakupangitsani kukhala womvera wabwino, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti mulankhulane bwino ndi mnzanu . Chotsani zonse zomwe zingatheke kuti muganize kuti 'muyenera kukhala' ndipo lolani mnzanuyo afotokoze yekha chifukwa chake akuchita zinthu zosaganizira ena.

Malingana ndi Shivanya, "Lingaliro lopanda maziko likhoza kutisocheretsa ife ndi okondedwa athu chifukwa kumabweretsa chisokonezo chochuluka kusiyana ndi mgwirizano. Mungathe kupereka chiweruzo chofulumira kwa mnzanuyo chifukwa cha lingaliro lomwe munapanga m'mutu mwanu. Choncho, nthawi zonse ndi bwino kukhala ndi zokambirana zomasuka kuti mupewe chisokonezo chilichonse.

"Mufunseni mnzanuyo ngati mukumumvetsa bwino kapena mukuwerenga zomwe akunena pa mutu wakutiwakuti momwe amafunira. Kodi ndinu wokonzeka kukonza ubale pogwiritsa ntchito kulankhulana? Kenako funsani mafunso ambiri m'malo mothamangira kuganiza mopupuluma, izi zingapangitse kusiyana kwakukulu pakati pa awirinu."

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3. Khalani olabadira pokambirana

Maanja nthawi zambiri amadandaula kuti okondedwa awo sapereka mayankho oyenerera kwa iwo. Mutha kuganiza kuti mukumvetsera bwino posalankhula pamene iwo ali, koma pali zambiri pakulankhulana kwabwino kuposa kusalankhula. Yang'anani m'maso mwa mnzanu wofunikira pamene mukukambirana. Izi zipangitsa kuti pakhale kulankhulana mwaulemu muubwenzi.

Perekani chilankhulo chabwino, chovomera. Kugwedeza mutu, kumwetulira, kuseka, ndi zina zotero zonse ndi mayankho a kulankhulana kolandiridwa. Kuyankha mosalankhula kumapanga malo otseguka kuti munthu afotokoze zonse zomwe zikuchitika m'maganizo mwake. Sinthani maganizo anu ku maluso ena olankhulirana mu maubwenzi ndipo mudzatha kuthetsa vutoli mwamsanga kuposa momwe mukuyembekezera.

4. Kuona mtima n’kofunika kwambiri

Kulankhulana mwakachetechete ndi kunama ndiye zifukwa ziwiri zazikulu zomwe zimapangitsa kuti pakhale kusiyana pakati pa kulankhulana. Gawo loyamba loti muchotse kusiyana kumeneku ndikukhala woona mtima kwa inu nokha, ndipo gawo lachiwiri ndikukhala woona mtima kwa mnzanu. Kunama za momwe mukumvera kungachepetse vutoli kwakanthawi, koma lidzabweranso ngati chiwopsezo chachikulu mtsogolo. Kwa okwatirana omwe ali okondana kwambiri, zingakhale zovuta kulankhula za momwe munthu akumveradi. Komabe, kuwona mtima nthawi yomweyo kuli bwino kuposa kudzimvera chisoni kwa nthawi yayitali.

Izi zikutanthawuzanso kupereka malo otseguka kuti wokondedwa wanu alankhule moona mtima za malingaliro awo ndi zokhumba zawo. Yesetsani kukhala pachiwopsezo ndi mnzanuyo, ndipo mulole kuti akhale pachiwopsezo ndi inu. Nthawi zonse ndi bwino kufufuza kuthekera kwa ubale kusiyana ndi kumanga linga la mabodza. Kuona mtima ndi njira yabwino kwambiri yopititsira patsogolo kulankhulana muubwenzi wapatali. Kupanda kutero, kusatetezeka kungayambitse vuto lalikulu kwa onse awiri chifukwa cha kusatsimikizika koonekeratu.

5. Yesetsani kumvetsetsa zizindikiro zomwe sizinatchulidwe

Pali nthawi zina pamene wokondedwa wanu amapempha thandizo, koma simungazindikire kuti akambirana ngati chinachake chalakwika. Kuyankhulana kwabwino m'maubwenzi sikumangokhalira kukambirana, komanso kumvetsetsa zomwe sanalankhule. Phunzirani kuvomereza pempho la mnzanuyo. Si zambiri za zomwe akunena, monga momwe amazinenera. Kamvekedwe ka mawu, kuyang’ana m’maso, ndi mmene thupi lathu limayendera, zonsezi zimatilimbikitsa kwambiri kuposa mmene timalankhulira.

Yesetsani kumvetsetsa zizindikiro za mnzanu monga kusayang'ana m'maso - kutanthauza kusasangalala kapena manyazi, kugwedeza miyendo - kutanthauza kuda nkhawa, kapena kutayika maganizo - zomwe zingatanthauze maganizo osokoneza. Ganizirani zomwe mnzanuyo akuyesera kufotokoza pamene mawu awo akulephera. Kuti muthe kuyankhulana bwino muubwenzi ndikulankhulana bwino ndi mnzanu kapena mnzanu, muyenera kukhala tcheru ndi thupi lawo. Ngati muona kuti pali vuto, kambiranani panthawi yoyenera.

6. Kukonda nthabwala ndi kusewera

Ubale wosangalatsa umakhudza kukhazikika pakati pa kutsimikiza ndi kuseŵera. Pitirizani kusewera masewera osangalatsa ndi mnzanu. Asekeni mopepuka mwachimwemwe. Sewerani nawo kanthu kena. Kuseka ndiyedi mankhwala abwino kwambiri ndipo banja lomwe limaseka limodzi, limakhala limodzi. Kuseka kumakuthandizani kuti muchotse nkhawa za tsiku ndi tsiku. Zimathandizanso anthu okwatirana kuti asamangokhala okhumudwa komanso okhumudwa. Nthabwala zosewerera ndi nthabwala mosakayikira ndizo zida zanu zabwino kwambiri ngati mukuyesera kukonza kulumikizana mu ubale watsopano.

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7. Siyani masewera odzudzulawo

Palibe chomwe chimasokoneza chizolowezi chabwino cholankhulana mwachangu kuposa kusinthana mawu . Mu maubwenzi ena, kuchuluka kwa mawu odzudzula kumakhala kwakukulu kwambiri moti kumabwera ngati nkhanza zapakhomo kapena kuzunza maganizo. Siyani nthawi yomweyo ndi mawu monga akuti, “Mukadapanda kuchita zimenezo, ndiye kuti ine sindikanachita izi.” Mawu opweteka amawononga ubalewo.

Yesetsani nthawi zonse kukambirana nkhani zauchikulire. Ngati zochita za mnzanu zikukuvutitsani, kambiranani naye. Mofananamo, tengani udindo pa zochita zanu. Pepani ngati mwalakwitsa ndipo konzani. Musamuneneze mnzanuyo zolakwa zanu. Kusiya kudzudzula mnzanuyo kudzawongolera mwachindunji kulankhulana kwanu. Muyenera kuchitapo kanthu pothetsa mikangano ndikukonza kulankhulana kwanu ndi mnzanu kapena mnzanu musanachedwe.

Shivanya akuti, "Kusinthana mlandu kumawononga ubale wabwino ngati simutenga umwini pazomwe mukumva, makamaka ngati mnzanuyo sakukupatsani mwayi woti mutsegule pamalo otetezeka. Nthawi zina, zimatha kuchitika kuti munthu m'modzi yekha ndiye amayesa zonse muubwenzi ndikufunsa nthawi yabwino, pomwe winayo samabwezera konse.

"Muzochitika zina, mnzawo mmodzi angayembekezere kuti winayo ayang'anire mgwirizano wamaganizo kwa onse awiri ndikuwapatsa udindo pazochitika zaubwenzi panthawi imodzi." Tsopano, ndiko khalidwe lodzidalira lomwe lingayambitse chisokonezo chachikulu. Zimapangitsa winayo kudzimva wolakwa ndikuyambitsa.

8. Khalani ndi zokambirana zosiyanasiyana

Pitani patsogolo ndipo pitani patsogolo kuposa kukambirana za tsiku lanu ndi zochitika zake nthawi zonse. Kambiranani za zinthu zatsopano kupatulapo moyo wanu wamba. Kambiranani za ndale, mabuku, nyimbo, zaluso, ndi zina zotero. Khalani ndi zokambirana zolenga. Tetezani mbali yanu. Limbikitsani nzeru zanu. Banja lanzeru silitha kukambirana zinthu zosangalatsa ndipo limapanga ubale wanzeru.

Ndikofunikira kwambiri kukhala ndi malingaliro pazinthu. Ngati simuchita manyazi kuyika mitu yanu pamodzi kukambirana malingaliro anu, simudzalephera kulankhulana bwino. Sophie, wazaka 29, anati: “Ndimavutika kuti ndilankhule ndi mnzanga chifukwa tilibe chilichonse choti tikambirane titakhala limodzi kwa zaka zambiri.

Shivanya akuti, "Pakapita nthawi, timadziwa bwino chikhalidwe cha mnzathu, zomwe amakonda, zovuta, zokhumba zake, ndi zina zotero. Ngati ndi choncho, muyenera kutuluka ndi kukumana ndi anthu ambiri. Mwina muyitane anzanu kapena mupite kuwiri ndi banja lina ndipo mudzawona kuti pali zambiri zoti mudziwe za mnzanuyo. Mukakhala pamodzi ndi anthu ena, mumakambirana zambiri za bilu, m'malo mwake muzikambirana za bilu kapena zosangalatsa, simumakambirana zambiri za ana anu. kukambirana.

“Njira ina ndiyo kutenga nawo mbali m’zochita zosiyanasiyana za maanja, kaya ku malo opumirako kapena kokacheza kotheratu. Kupita ku zisudzo ndi ziwonetsero za masewero kumakupatsani mpata wokambitsirana zinthu zopatsa kuganiza mozama. Mungayesenso kudziwananso zomwe mumakonda n’kuzindikiranso zilakolako zanu zomwe munali nazo kwa nthawi yaitali.

9. Pitirizani kukopana

Mungakhale ndi mnzanu kwa milungu ingapo kapena zaka zingapo, koma musalole kuti chikondi chizime. Palibe amene amasangalala ndi ubale wosasangalatsa komanso wamba. Pitirizani kukondana wina ndi mnzake, ngakhale m'malo opezeka anthu ambiri. Pali maanja angapo omwe amachita sewero losewera ndi kukondana ngati kuti sakudziwana. Izi zimapangitsa kuti ubalewo ukhale wosangalatsa, zimawonjezera nthabwala ndi zokometsera, ndipo zimakupatsani mwayi wokonzanso kulumikizana muubwenzi. Kukondana kungakhale kosangalatsa kapena kokongola, koma nthawi zonse yesetsani kupangitsa kuti wokondedwa wanu azimva kuzizira kapena agulugufe m'mimba mwawo kwa nthawi yayitali momwe mungathere.

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10. Ikani mafoni anu pambali

Palibe chifukwa chowonetsera otsatira anu pa Instagram kuti ubale wanu ndi wosangalatsa ngati inu ndi mnzanu simungathe kukhala limodzi popanda mafoni anu. Ndizosangalatsa kuvala ndikuyika zithunzi za tsiku lanu ndi chakudya, koma kukhala ndi wina ndi mzake pa tsiku kumakupangitsani kukhala pafupi ndi mzake.

Mukasankha kusayang'ana kwambiri pazenera pamene pali munthu wokongola atakhala patsogolo panu, zimasonyeza momwe mnzanuyo alili wofunika kwa inu. Onetsetsani kuti foni yanu siigwira ntchito bwino mukakhala limodzi. Izi sizingowonjezera kulankhulana kokha komanso zingathandize kumanga chidaliro ndi chikondi. Zipangizo zamagetsi zimatha kuwononga ubale , choncho lankhulanani maso ndi maso pafupipafupi kuti musavutike.

11. Perekani malo otseguka kwa wina ndi mzake

Kukhala ndi malo otetezeka oti mukambirane zinazake komanso kukhala ndi malo osungira zinsinsi zanu kumakhala kofanana. Ngati pali zinthu zomwe zikuvutitsa wokondedwa wanu, muyenera kupereka malo omasuka kuti akambirane nanu mavutowa. Kusiyana kwa kulankhulana kumapitirirabe ngati wokondedwa wanu akupeza kukhala kovuta kufotokoza chinachake kapena akuwopa kugawana nanu chinachake. Vibe yanu iyenera kulandiridwa, pomwe theka lanu labwino siliyenera kuganiza zambiri musanakambirane nanu.

Kapenanso, mnzanuyo nayenso amafunika malo ake. Ndithudi, pakhoza kukhala zinthu zomwe simukuona kuti n'zofunika kukambirana ndi mnzanuyo. Mnzanuyo angamve chimodzimodzi. Musamazembere mnzanuyo kapena kuyang'ana mauthenga ake pamene palibe. Mukhulupirireni ndi mtima wanu wonse ndipo lemekezani zachinsinsi zake. Izi zidzaonetsetsa kuti ubale wanu ndi wotetezeka ku kukayikira ndi chinyengo, ndipo kulankhulana kwanu ndi wokondedwa wanu kudzakula.

Nthawi zonse simungatsimikizire njira yolumikizirana yosalala, yopanda mavuto, koma nthawi zonse pamakhala mwayi woti ubale ukhale wopambana ndi kulumikizana bwino. Ndi mfundo izi, mutha kuyesetsa kuwonetsetsa kuti kusiyana pakati pa inu ndi mnzanuyo kumakhala kochepa kwambiri kuposa kale.

Gwiritsani ntchito njira zosavuta izi kuti muwongolere kulumikizana muubwenzi ndipo tiuzeni momwe zathandizira. Tikusangalala kumva kuchokera kwa inu. Ndipo ngati mukufuna upangiri waukadaulo, alangizi aluso komanso odziwa zambiri ochokera ku gulu la akatswiri a Bonobology ali pano kuti akuthandizeni.

Ibibazo

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Ubwino 8 Wa Chithandizo Chachete Ndi Chifukwa Chake Ndi Chachikulu Pa Ubale

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.

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