Kodi Mungatenge Bwanji Pang'onopang'ono Mu Ubale? 11 Malangizo Othandiza

Kufalitsa chikondi

Simukufuna kuzitenga mwachangu muubwenzi ndikupangitsa munthu winayo kuganiza kuti mukumuwombera mwachikondi. Koma simukufuna kuti mutenge pang'onopang'ono ndikupereka chithunzi ngati mulibe chidwi nawo konse. Kutenga pang'onopang'ono mu ubale kumatanthauza kupeza liwiro lomwe silingakhudze mtundu wa mgwirizano wanu.

Mu kafukufuku wotchedwa 'Courtship in the Digital Age' womwe unapeza anthu okwatirana okwana 3,000 ku US, ofufuza adapeza kuti okwatirana omwe anali pachibwenzi kwa chaka chimodzi mpaka ziwiri (poyerekeza ndi omwe anali pachibwenzi chosakwana chaka chimodzi) anali ndi mwayi wochepa wa 20% wosudzulana; ndipo okwatirana omwe anali pachibwenzi kwa zaka zitatu kapena kuposerapo anali ndi mwayi wochepa wa 39% wosudzulana.

Ndi chifukwa chakuti ubongo wa munthu umakhala wofewa kuti ugwirizane ndi mnzanu pang'onopang'ono chifukwa dera loyambira lolumikizana kwambiri limatha kutenga miyezi, nthawi zina ngakhale zaka, kuti liyambe. Chikondi chapang'onopang'ono chimagwirizana ndi mabwalo athu akale a muubongo pazachikondi komanso kulumikizana.

Ndipo pali njira zambiri zochepetsera chibwenzi popanda kuzipangitsa kukhala zotopetsa kapena zosafunikira. Ndiye tiyeni tifufuze, kodi 'kutenga pang'onopang'ono' mu chiyanjano kumatanthauza chiyani?

Kodi 'Kuchedwa' Paubwenzi Kumatanthauza Chiyani?

M'ndandanda wazopezekamo

Mukakumana ndi munthu yemwe mumamukonda ndipo akufanana ndi vibe yanu mwangwiro, mumafuna kudumphira muubwenzi mwamsanga. Ndi agulugufe onse m'mimba mwanu, pali mwayi woti mutha kugwa ndikuwotcha ngati mutasuntha mwachangu. Kodi kuchedwa mu ubale kumatanthauza chiyani?

Zikutanthauza kuti mbali zonse ziwiri kapena ziwiri ziyenera kukhala ndi nthawi yoti zimvetse komwe zikufuna kupititsa chibwenzicho. Si chinthu choipa kapena chachilendo konse. Muyenera kudziwa momwe mungachepetsere chibwenzi ngati mukumva ngati chikuyenda mofulumira kwambiri. Nthawi zina, anthu omwe adakhumudwa kwambiri kale amapempha munthu winayo kuti achepetse chibwenzicho kuti atsimikizire kuti sadzavulalanso.

Potenga pang'onopang'ono mu ubale, akuwonetsetsa kuti akuyenda pa liwiro lomwe anthu onse ali omasuka. Ena amafuna kuti adziŵe bwino munthuyo asanakhale naye paubwenzi. Pomwe anthu ena amawopa kukhala pachiwopsezo ndi munthu wina osamudziwa bwino. Kaya chifukwa chanu chingakhale chotani, tili pano kuti tikupatseni malangizo othandiza kuti muchepetse ubale.

Kuzitenga Pang'onopang'ono Mu Ubale - Malangizo 11 Othandiza

Tsopano popeza mukudziwa zomwe kutenga pang'onopang'ono mu ubale kumatanthauza, tiyeni tiwone momwe zimakhalira ndi ubale womwe muli nawo ndi munthuyo. Kuthamangira koyambirira kwa chibwenzi ndi kofala. Ndiwo mahomoni anu akupita haywire mutakumana ndi munthu watsopano. Wina amene amakumvetsetsani pomaliza pake, amakusekani, amakhala ndi zizolowezi, komanso amawonetsa chikondi. Mukasamuka msanga, angaganize kuti 'n'zabwino kwambiri' kapena 'zabwino kwambiri posachedwa.'

1. Khalani owona mtima kuyambira pachiyambi

Momwe Mungatengere Pang'onopang'ono Mu Ubale

Ichi ndi chimodzi mwamaupangiri abwino kwambiri oti mutengere pang'onopang'ono mu ubale. Khalani patsogolo pa izi ndikuwauza kuti mukufuna kutenga nthawi yanu. Othandizana nawo ayenera kukhala patsamba lomwelo apo ayi zitha kubweretsa kusamvana komanso kusamvana. Ubwenzi ukhoza kutha ngati muli ndi zolinga zosiyana.

Ngati mmodzi wa inu akuyembekezera kuti zinthu ziyende mwachangu koma winayo sakugwirizana ndi maganizo anu, angaganize kuti simukumufuna. Izi zitha kupangitsa kuti munthuyo asamakusangalatseni. Muuzeni kuti kuyamba kukondana mwachangu si nkhani yanu. Kuona mtima kumathandiza kumanga chidaliro poyamba paubwenzi watsopano.

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2. Madeti sayenera kukhala opambanitsa

Kupita pamasiku okondana ndikofunikira kumayambiriro kwa ubale. Amakuwa mwachikondi, mwachikondi komanso mwachikondi. Koma pamene mupita mopitirira muyeso pakukonzekera madeti, zikhoza kuwaika mumkhalidwe wovuta kumene amamva kuti ali ndi udindo wobwezera kulingalira kwanu. The pamwamba-pamwamba manja ndi chakudya tsiku akhoza ngakhale akakamize iwo kuyenda mofulumira mu ubwenzi.

Joanna, katswiri wa zakudya wazaka za m'ma 20 anati, "Mukakhala ndi munthu woyenera, madeti a chakudya chamadzulo angakhale osavuta komanso osangalatsa. Palibe kuvutitsa kuti mufulumizitse zinthu, kaya ndi kukakamiza kugonana kapena maganizo. Phunzirani momwe mungakhalire achikondi muubwenzi popanda kugwiritsa ntchito ndalama zosafunikira. Mudzatsegula mtima wanu kwa mnzanuyo mukawona kuti nthawi yakwana ndipo zidzachitika mwachibadwa. Pakadali pano, mutha kuwatenga kuti akadye ma burger, kapena kuyitanitsa chakudya kunyumba, kapena mutha kungoyenda limodzi ndikusangalala ndi kukhala ndi wina ndi mnzake."

3. Muziganizira kwambiri za kudziwana bwino

Ngati mukufuna kuchita zinthu pang'onopang'ono ndi mnyamata amene mumamukonda kapena ndi mtsikana amene mumakonda, yang'anani kwambiri kuti mumudziwe bwino. Musanatchule ubale wanu, dziwani zinthu zomwe amakonda, momwe ubwana wawo unalili, ndi zolinga zawo m'moyo. Ngati mukufuna kudziwa momwe mungachitire zinthu pang'onopang'ono ndi mtsikana amene mumamukondadi, funsani mafunso otseguka. Pali mafunso ambiri oti mufunse wokondedwa wanu kuti mumudziwe bwino.

Mofananamo, dziwani bwino mnyamatayo pomupangitsa kuti aziwoneka ndikumva. Mmodzi wa ubwino kutenga pang'onopang'ono mu ubwenzi ndi kuti inu mumvetse munthu amene ali kwenikweni, ndi kumvetsa munthu ayenera kukhala koyera mtundu wa ubwenzi. Munthu amene samakumvetsa sangadziwe kukukonda.

4. Pewani kulankhula 24×7

Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zinthu zomwe timachita nthawi zambiri tikakumana ndi munthu watsopano. Timawatumizira mameseji nthawi zonse ndipo timakambirana kwa ola limodzi pafoni. Chokopacho ndi champhamvu kwambiri ndipo mumafunitsitsa kukhala nawo pafupi. Lolani kutengeka mtima kwakanthawi uku kuzizira ndikusintha kukhala chinthu chokhalitsa komanso chokongola poyendetsa mayendedwe anu mosasunthika. Ngati awiri a inu nthawi zonse kulankhulana wina ndi mzake, ndiye chimodzi mwa zizindikiro kuti muli pa ubwenzi clingy.

Ndinalankhula ndi Neil, mnzanga wapamtima, pamene ndinasokonezeka ponena za mnyamata amene ndinali naye pachibwenzi. “Kodi amachedwa kapena sakufunanso kundidziwa? Neil anafotokoza kuti zinthu izi nthawi zambiri zimawoneka chimodzimodzi - kuzitenga pang'onopang'ono komanso kusakhala ndi chidwi - choncho ndibwino kuti ndilankhule mwachindunji ndi mnyamatayo kuti ndidziwe zomwe zili m'maganizo mwake. Kutenga pang'onopang'ono kumayambiriro kwa chibwenzi kumathandiza kuti mukhale ndi chidwi pakati pa maanja, koma izi sizikutanthauza kuti mumapewa wokondedwa wanu. Izi zingowapangitsa kuganiza kuti mulibe chidwi.

5. Simuyenera kukumana tsiku lililonse

Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa nsonga za kutenga pang'onopang'ono mu ubale. Simuyenera kukumana nawo tsiku lililonse. Osapangitsa kuti ziwoneke ngati dziko lanu limazungulira iwo. Kumanani ndi anzanu ndipo pitilizani kuchita zomwe mumachita zisanabwere m'moyo wanu. Ngati muwakonzekeretsa, amamva kuti akukakamizika kugonjera zofuna zanu kapena kuchokapo. Ingosiyani ubalewo kuyenda mwachibadwa.

Ichi ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zomwe ndimanong'oneza nazo bondo paubwenzi wanga wakale. Ndinkakumana naye tsiku lililonse. Tinkacheza pa foni usiku wonse ndipo tinkangotumizirana mameseji. Ndinataya anzanga onse chifukwa ndinasiya kuwapeza chifukwa cha iye. Ndinasiyanso kuganizira kwambiri ntchito yanga. Ndinamupanga kukhala pakati pa chilengedwe changa. Posakhalitsa, tonsefe tinazimva kuti tatopa ndipo ubwenziwo unatsika ngati chibaluni chotsogolera.

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6. Osagonana mwachangu

M'mafilimu okha, kugonana usiku umodzi kumakhala kosangalatsa kwamuyaya. Kafukufuku wochitidwa ndi ofufuza ku Cornell University akuti mawu akuti "opusa amathamangira kulowa" ndi oona nthawi zambiri. Anapeza kuti akazi omwe adalowa m'maubwenzi ogonana ndi akazi awo pambuyo pake muubwenziwo anali osangalala kwambiri muukwati wotsatira kuposa omwe adathamangira kugonana.

Kugonana koyambirira muubwenzi kunagwirizanitsidwanso ndi kukhala pamodzi mwamsanga ndi mabanja osakhutiritsa. N’chifukwa chake m’pofunika kuchita zinthu mopupuluma muubwenzi. Nthawi zonse kumakhala kotentha komanso kolemetsa mukakumana ndi munthu watsopano. Pali kuseka ndi mayesero ambiri kotero kuti simungadikire kuti mudumphe nawo pabedi. Ngati mukufuna kutenga zinthu pang'onopang'ono ndi munthu yemwe mumamukonda, ndiye kambiranani za izi. Muuzeni kuti mukufuna kudikirira musanagonane naye.

Mofananamo, ngati mukufuna kudziwa momwe mungatengere zinthu pang'onopang'ono ndi mtsikana yemwe mumamukonda, muuzeni kuti mumamukonda kwambiri ndichifukwa chake mukufuna kukhazikitsa malire kuti ubalewo ukule bwino. Muuzeni mnzanuyo kuti mukufuna kulimbikitsa kudalira, kusatetezeka, ndi kutonthozedwa musanakumane naye.

infographic ya momwe mungatengere pang'onopang'ono mu ubale — Momwe mungatengere pang'onopang'ono mu ubale?

7. Pewani kukambirana za m'tsogolo

Pamene mukuchita pang'onopang'ono kumayambiriro kwa chibwenzi, pewani kulankhula za tsogolo, makamaka ngati ndi chibwenzi wamba. Osayamba kuwaganizira ngati mnzako wapamtima kapena kuwonera nyumbayo pafupi ndi nyanja yomwe nonse mumakhalamo. Ziribe kanthu kuti zolinga zanu ndi zotani. Pakadali pano, musagawane zomwe mukufuna chifukwa zitha kuwawopseza ngati sagawana malingaliro omwewo. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa nsonga za kutenga pang'onopang'ono mu ubale.

8. Pewani kuchita zinthu zazikulu

Musamawagulire mphatso zapamwamba kwambiri akangoyamba chibwenzi. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizolowezi zoipa zomwe zimawononga chibwenzi . Ndi zoona kuti mphatso zotere zimapangitsa munthu kumva ngati ali ndi ngongole kwa inu. Choncho ngati mumachita zinthu mozengereza ndi mnyamata amene mumamukonda kwambiri kapena mtsikana amene mukumukonda, pewani kuwononga ndalama zambiri pa mphatso ndipo muwagulire maluwa kapena chokoleti m'malo mwake.

Kudzipereka kwachiwiri kwakukulu komwe anthu amapanga mwachangu ndikudziwitsa okondedwa awo kubanja lawo. Osatengera chisankhochi mopupuluma ngati sali okonzeka. Nonse muyenera kukhala otsimikiza 100% musanadziwike kwa okondedwa anu. Ngati mukutenga pang'onopang'ono mu chiyambi cha ubwenzi, kuphatikizapo achibale mu kusakaniza kokha complicate ubwenzi ndi kuika kupsyinjika pa izo.

9. Musakhale olamulira ndi olamulira

Monga gawo la kuchepetsa zinthu muubwenzi, simukumana ndi mnzanu nthawi zonse. Chifukwa chake mutha kukhala ndi chidwi chofuna kudziwa zambiri za zochita zawo za tsiku ndi tsiku komanso komwe ali. Palibe vuto kuwafunsa momwe tsiku lawo linalili kapena zomwe adachita panthawi yopuma nkhomaliro. Koma musamachite nsanje kapena kukakamiza ngati akukuuzani kuti adakumana ndi wakale wawo kapena bwenzi lawo lapamtima. Ngati akuchita nsanje ndikukupemphani kuti musiye kukumana ndi anthu, ndiye kuti ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zomwe muli ndi munthu wolamulira.

Simungathe kusonyeza kulamulira kwanu kwa mnzanu posatengera kuti muli pa siteji yanji ya ubale wanu. Ndi kulakwa kulamulira. Komabe, si zachilendo kukhala wosatetezeka. Gwirani ntchito pazosowa zanu, ndipo ngati kuli kofunikira, khalani owona mtima kwa okondedwa anu (popanda kupanga vuto lawo). Ngati amakukondani ndi zest ndi chilakolako chomwecho, adzachita nanu.

10. Khalani ndi chidwi ndi zomwe mumakonda kuchita

Mukakhala pakati pa kugwa m'chikondi, mumakonda kuiwala za dziko lonse lapansi. Mukufuna kukhala nawo nthawi zonse. Inu simungakhoze kuwoneka kuti mukuwatsekereza manja anu pa iwo. Izi ndi zinthu zomwe muyenera kuzipewa mukamatenga pang'onopang'ono mu ubale. Aloleni kuti akudziweni bwino powaphatikiza pazokonda zanu ndi zomwe mumakonda. Afunseni zomwe amakonda ndikuchita nawo. Izi zipanga mgwirizano wapadera pakati pa inu nonse.

11. Gawani zofooka zanu

Kulimbikitsa kusakhazikika muubwenzi n'kofunika kwambiri ngati mukufuna kuti ubalewu ukhalepo kwamuyaya. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa ubwino wochepetsa kusakhazikika muubwenzi chifukwa mudzaphunzira zambiri za mnzanu. Mudzawamvetsa bwino. Mudzaphunzira kudalirana. Kukhala osakhazikika nawo kudzachotsanso chisokonezo chawo pa ngati mukuwachepetsa kapena simukuwakonda.

Fotokozani zakukhosi kwanu, malingaliro anu, ndi zikhumbo zanu momasuka popanda kuopa kuweruzidwa. Izi zidzamanga kukhulupirika ndi chifundo kwa wina ndi mzake. Pamene mukuchita pang'onopang'ono mu chiyanjano, mudzadziwana kwambiri. Mudzaphunzira kuwasamalira kwambiri ndipo ubwenzi wapamtima udzakukokerani palimodzi. Mudzalemekezana kwambiri mukalola kuti ubwenziwo ukule pang’onopang’ono.

Ibibazo

1. Kodi kuchedwa muubwenzi ndi chinthu chabwino?

Inde. Ndi chinthu chabwino bola muwadziwitse kuti muli ndi chidwi ndipo mukufuna kupanga kulumikizana mozama potenga pang'onopang'ono. Apo ayi, zidzawoneka ngati mukuzisewera zotentha komanso zozizira. Muyenera kuwonetsetsa kuti simukufuna kuthamangira kalikonse.

2. Kodi ndi wochedwa bwanji muubwenzi?

Zimachedwa kwambiri ngati simulankhula kwa milungu ingapo ndipo mumayembekezera kuti akudikirirani. Muyenera fufuzani wina ndi mzake kamodzi pa tsiku ngati mukufuna kuti ubwenzi kukhalitsa. Kapena zidzawapangitsa kumva kukhala osayamikiridwa ndi kunyalanyazidwa.

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