Momwe Mungayambitsire Ubale - Malangizo 14 Obwezeretsa Spark

Panthawi ina, aliyense amamva kuti pali chinachake chikusowa m'moyo wawo wachikondi. Chinachake nthawi zambiri chimafunika kuchitidwa kuti chitsitsimutsenso ubale womwe anthuwo sakhalanso chimodzimodzi. Kuyandikana koyambirira ndi kukhudzika komwe kumamveka kumayambiriro kwa chibwenzi kumachepa. Izi ndizochitika zenizeni komanso gawo limodzi la ubale uliwonse wautali. 

Tiyeni tikhale owona mtima; ndizovuta kukhalabe ndi mphamvu zomwezo pambuyo pa miyezi ndi zaka zapita. Koma ngati pali chikondi pakati panu ndipo nonse mukulemekezana moona mtima, zonse sizitayika. Pali njira zotsitsimutsa chikondi mu ubale; mukungoyenera kuwonetsetsa kuti nonse mwadzipereka kuti zinthu ziyende. 

Kodi N'zotheka Kuyambiranso Ubale?

Malinga ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Nandita Rambhia, amene amagwira ntchito pa CBT, REBT, ndi uphungu wa okwatirana, kutsitsimutsa ubale ndi kotheka. "Ngati ndi ubale wodzipereka ndipo mwakhala limodzi kwa nthawi yokwanira, ndikofunikira kufotokoza bwino. Ndikosavuta kusiya. Koma mukatero mudzataya ubwino wokhala ndi unansi wabwino kwa nthaŵi yaitali.”

Iye akupitiriza, "Ngati mukufuna kupeza njira zotsitsimutsira chibwenzi chomwe chimatha - ndipo izi ndizofunikira - onse awiri ayenera kukhala odzipereka kuti athetse vutoli. ubale wopitilira kukonzedwa. Sindikunena kuti sizingagwire ntchito, koma zingakhale zabwino ngati onse awiri atayesetsa. ”

Malinga ndi phunziro, zinthu zinayi zimenezi zimathandiza kuti chikondi chikhale chonchi: kugwirizana, ulemu, kukhulupirirana, ndi kukopeka. Ngati chimodzi mwa izo chifooka, chimakhudzanso zinthu zina. Kafukufukuyu akuti, “Kukhalapo kwa zinthu zonse kukakhala kolimba, m’pamenenso chikondi chimachulukirachulukira (chikondi) ndi kutsika, m’pamenenso chikondi chimachepa . . .  

Pali njira zobweretsera masiku oyambilira aja akung'ambana zovala ndi kuthera maola akukambirana chilichonse ndi chilichonse. Koma izi zidzafuna khama lalikulu kuti sankhani chikondi kuposa china chilichonse. Sankhani kukoma mtima ndi chifundo tsiku ndi tsiku. Kupatsana mpata wokondana ndi kukula kungayambitse mtundu wosiyana kwambiri wa ubale. Kodi mwakonzeka kutenga mwayi ndikutsitsimutsa ubale womwe wamwalira? 

Malangizo 14 Otsitsimutsa Ubale Ndi Kubwezeretsa Spark

Zokwera ndi zotsika zidzabwerabe ndikupita, koma ubwenzi wanu ndi ubwenzi wanu ukhoza kufika pamlingo watsopano, wodabwitsa ngati mutatsatira malangizo awa. Ngati mukuwona kuti inu ndi okondedwa wanu mutha kuchita ndi kugwedezeka ndikuwonjezera zomwe mukufunikira mu moyo wanu wakale wachikondi, tiyeni tiwone momwe maanja angatsitsimutsire kuyambiransoko ndikubwezeretsanso chisangalalo.

1. Dziwani zomwe zikusowa 

Nandita anati: “Choyamba ndi kulankhulana bwino, kenako bwererani kumalo ochezera a pa Intaneti kumene mumacheza mosaweruzana.” Akuganiza kuti mudzifunse mafunso otsatirawa kuti muwunike madera omwe mukufuna kugwira ntchito:

• Limbikitsani kulumikizana kwanu ndikuzindikira zomwe aliyense wa inu akufuna kuchokera pachibwenzi
• Chifukwa chiyani mphezi yazima? Kodi pali kutaya kwa kukhudza thupi kapena kusowa kwa mgwirizano wamaganizo? 
• Kodi pali chikhalidwe cha polarity? Kodi mukufuna chinthu chimodzi ndi mnzanu china? 
• Kodi mulibe chidwi ndi mnzanuyo? Kodi monotony ikubwera? 
• Kodi simukuyika kuyesetsa kokwanira mu ubale kuti usunthe pa liwiro linalake? 
• Ngati muli pampando, pali china chake chomwe chikusowa? Kapena muyenera kuthetsa mkangano uliwonse?

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Njira Zabwino Zoyambitsiranso Chibwenzi Mu Ubale

2. Nenani zikomo 

Nthawi zambiri, muubwenzi wosweka, zimakhala zosavuta kutengerana mosasamala. Njira imodzi yosavuta yothanirana ndi izi ndikutenga nthawi kuti muyesere kuyamikirana wina ndi mnzake. Nenani kuti zikomo nthawi zambiri, komanso dziwani zomwe wokondedwa wanu amakuchitirani. Ndipo mwamawu yamikirani zonsezi. Kukhala ndi chiyamiko monga chitsogozo chanu kudzachitanso zodabwitsa pa moyo wanu wonse. 

3. Madeti ausiku ndi ovomerezeka 

Kusamukira limodzi, kukwatiwa, kukhala ndi ntchito zanthawi zonse, kukhala makolo - nthawi yoti mumve zachikondi komanso "m'malingaliro" ndi iti? Apa ndipamene mausiku ovomerezeka amafika. Kukonzekera khalani ndi nthawi yabwino limodzi "kutali ndi zonse" nthawi zambiri zimawonjezera chisangalalo pang'ono ku sabata yanu. Chiyembekezo ndi chakuti chakudya chamadzulo chachikondi a deux Mutha kuwona malingaliro anu okondana akukula omwe angawonekerenso m'moyo wanu wakugonana. 

4. Phunzirani china chatsopano 

Njira yabwino kwambiri yothanirana ndi kunyong'onyeka ndi kunyong'onyeka muubwenzi ndi kuchita china chatsopano ngati banja. Itha kukhala yosangalatsa, kalasi, kapenanso ntchito yomwe simunayiganizirepo. Kukankhira kunja kwa malo anu otonthoza kumatha kulimbikitsa adrenaline ndi oxytocin, kupanga chisangalalo chatsopano ndi kuyandikana ndi wokondedwa wanu. Malinga ndi a Reddit wogwiritsa ntchito, chomwe chimathandiza kuyatsa moto wa chikondi chomwe chatsala pang'ono kufa ndi "kuyesera zinthu zatsopano ndikupeza zokonda zatsopano palimodzi; kubwerezabwereza nthawi zambiri ndiko kumapha maubale." Malingaliro ena osavuta ndi awa:

• Kuyesa masewera atsopano 
• Kulowa nawo kalasi yovina kapena masewera olimbitsa thupi 
• Kuphunzira chinenero kapena masewera ovuta pamodzi
• Kuphika mbale yatsopano pamodzi 
• Kudzipereka limodzi ku bungwe lachifundo 
• Kuyenda msasa kapena kuyenda 
• Konzani ulendo wausiku limodzi koma ku malo omwe palibe mwa inu mukadawasankha nthawi zonse 

5. KUSAMBILANA

Ndani amakumbukira kupsompsona kwawo koyamba? Lonjezo la ubale watsopano ndi chisangalalo chake chonse ndi chikondi? Kupangitsa kupsompsona kukhala chizolowezi chokhazikika kumathandiza kukonzanso zina mwazokondazo poyamba. 

Komanso, a phunziro anapeza kuti kupsopsonana kungathandize kumanga ubale wabwino potulutsa mahomoni osangalala a oxytocin ndi serotonin m’thupi. Izi, nazonso, zimachepetsa kupsinjika ndi nkhawa ndikuwonjezera kulumikizana kwanu ndi ena ofunikira. Ngakhale kuti kupsompsona kungayambitse kugonana kwakukulu, ndikofunika kuti musaike chitsenderezo chowonjezereka pazochitikazo. Zinthu zonse ziziyenda mwachibadwa popanda kukakamiza kapena kuyembekezera. 

Kuwerenga Kofanana: 10 Ubwino Wa Thanzi Lakupsompsona

6. Kwezani masewera anu okopana kuti mutsitsimutse ubale wanu

Ngati lingaliro la kupsompsonana ndi kugonana likuwoneka ngati likudumpha kwakukulu kwa inu, muli ndi ufulu wonse wochita zinthu pang'onopang'ono. Masitepe a ana monga kukopana, mawu achigololo, kapenanso kakalata kakang'ono kachikondi komwe kasiyidwa m'bokosi la nkhomaliro la mnzanuyo kungapangitse mnzanuyo kudziwa kuti mukumuganizira ndipo zingalepheretse zinthu kukhala zotopetsa. 

7. Chinthu chimodzi pa nthawi 

Mutha kuganiza kuti pali madzi ochulukirapo pansi pa mlatho komanso kuti palibe chifukwa chotsitsimutsa ubale womwe watsala pang'ono kufa. Malinga ndi a ulusi wotchuka wa Reddit, kusakhulupirika ndiko kulakwa komwe kuli kosatheka kukhululukidwa, koma ngakhale kuti kungagonjetsedwe ngati onse awiri akufuna kusuntha limodzi. 

Makhalidwe a nkhani? Ingosinthani chinthu chimodzi. Ndilo lamulo loyambira. Palibe amene ayenera kuthana ndi zowawa zonse nthawi imodzi. Khama laling'ono ndi zinthu zazing'ono kumabweretsa kusintha kwakukulu.

• Ngati dandaulo lanu lalikulu ndi kusalankhulana bwino, ikani mafoni anu pambali pa nthawi ya chakudya chamadzulo ndipo yesani kulankhulana 
• Ngati moyo wanu wogonana wasintha, yesani zovala zamkati zowoneka bwino kapena usiku ku hotelo kuti musinthe
• Ngati mikanganoyo siitha, dzipatseni nthawi yocheza zinthu zisanafike poipa

8. Kudzikonda pang'ono sikuvulaza aliyense 

Osapeputsa mphamvu yodzisangalatsa. Kudziwa zomwe zimakutembenuzirani kudzakuthandizani kusonyeza mnzanu zomwe zimagwira ntchito pabedi ndi zomwe siziri. Amayi ambiri, makamaka, amavutika kufotokoza zosowa zawo ndi zokhumba zawo. Monga mwa a phunziro, kufufuza za kugonana kwanu ndi kukumbatira kungakhale kopatsa mphamvu kwa okondedwa onse pakapita nthawi komanso njira yabwino kwambiri yotsitsimutsira chibwenzi chogonana. 

9. Sewerani masewera 

Sinthani kukhala masewera ngati mupeza kuti kufunsa zomwe mukufuna kukhala zovuta. Mlungu uliwonse, m’modzi amasankha zimene okwatiranawo ayenera kuchita. Ikhoza kukhala pempho la gawo la tsiku ndi tsiku la cuddle, kuyenda pamodzi mutatha chakudya chamadzulo, kapena chokoma ndi kusonyeza chikondi tsiku lililonse. Zambiri zili kwa aliyense wa inu. Chiyembekezo ndi chinthu chodabwitsa chikhoza kukhala chizolowezi cholandiridwa m'moyo wanu watsiku ndi tsiku. 

10. Yendani pansi panjira yokumbukira 

Kubwerezanso nkhani yanu yachikondi kumatha kubweretsanso kumverera kwapafupi komanso kudzipereka. Ganiziraninso za kuthera nthawi pamalo pomwe mudakumana koyamba. 

• Zinachitika bwanji? 
• Ndani anayamba kufotokoza zakukhosi kwawo? 
• Mutha kuyendera malo anu tsiku loyamba? 
• Yang'anani zithunzi zakale, werenganinso makalata achikondi, ndikumvetsera nyimbo 'yanu'

Izi ndi zambiri za kukumbukira chifukwa chomwe mudakondana poyamba. Kenako, ganizirani za malingalirowa kuti muyambitsenso malingaliro muubwenzi. 

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Momwe Mungabwezeretsere Spark Mu Ubale Wosweka - Njira 10 Zaukatswiri

11. Pitani kusukulu yakale 

Mwa ichi, tikutanthauza kuika foni yanu pansi ndi kuyang'ana wina ndi mzake pamene mukuyankhula. Zosokoneza nzochuluka, ndipo maubwenzi amakono akusokonekera. Muziona kuti nthawi yanu yochitira limodzi zinthu ndi yamtengo wapatali ndipo muziilemekeza. Manjawa sangakambirane poyesa kuyambitsanso chikondi. 

12. Manja ang'onoang'ono amatanthauza zinthu zazikulu mukafuna kupulumutsa ubale wanu 

Tinafunsa Nandita kuti: Kodi ndi kusintha kochepa kotani komwe mungapange kuti muyambitsenso malingaliro akale a mgwirizano? Iye anati: “Chibwenzi chilichonse pakapita nthawi chimatha.

• Valani bwino
• Pangani chakudya chamadzulo
• Konzani tsiku
• Gulani kamphatso kakang'ono  
• Pangani manja oganiza bwino

Ingoyikani pang'ono kuyesetsa mu ubale. Ichi chingakhale chiyambi chabwino kwambiri. "

13. Chokani! 

Kumayambiriro kwa chibwenzi chanu, munkafuna kuti muzicheza nthawi zonse. Musamayembekezere kulimba komweko kwa miyezi kapena zaka kutsika. Si zachibadwa. Tabwera kudzakuuzani kuti kupuma pang'ono ndikuchita zinthu nokha kungakhale njira yabwino yothetsera ubale wanu ndi mwamuna / mkazi / mnzanu komanso lumikizanani nawo pamlingo wozama.

Ngakhale itakhala nthawi yopumula ndi anzanu kapena kucheza nokha, konzekerani nthawi yangayo mwachangu. Kuchita zinthu nokha kumapanga mwayi wokulitsa umunthu wanu ndi chisangalalo kuti muthe kuthandizira paubwenzi kuchokera kumalo olingana. Zitha kukuthandizani kuti muphonye wokondedwa wanu, ndipo imakupatsaninso nonse zatsopano zoti mukambirane. 

14. Phunzirani kusiya 

Kwa banja lililonse lomwe likufuna kuyambiranso, Nandita amaumirira upangiri womaliza womwe umatsimikiziridwa ndi Nkhani Zamankhwala Masiku Ano nkhani nawonso. Iye anati: “Njira yabwino kwambiri yoyambitsiranso chibwenzi muubwenzi wanthaŵi yaitali: yesetsani kusakhala ndi moyo wakale.” Osasunga chakukhosi. - Palibenso chifukwa ndi chimodzi mwazo mgwirizano wofiira mbendera.

"Paubwenzi, nthawi zonse pamakhala nthawi zosagwirizana, koma pachithunzi chachikulu, zinthu zimayenda bwino. Ndikofunikira paulendo wanu kukulitsa luntha lanu lamalingaliro ndikukulira limodzi ku cholinga chimodzi. Kuyembekezera zokumana nazo zatsopano palimodzi. Izi zidzapanga ubale weniweni ndi kulera, malo otetezeka kwa nonse."

Kodi Muyenera Kufunafuna Thandizo Liti? 

Pali zizindikiro zomveka bwino muubwenzi pamene zinthu sizikuyenda bwino. Katswiri wophunzitsidwa bwino wa zamaganizo kapena mlangizi wa maanja angathandize maanja ambiri kubwezeretsa malingaliro otayika ndi kufotokoza zakukhosi kwawo m'njira zatsopano, zopatsa thanzi. Kukambirana pafupipafupi ndi akatswiri azamisala kumalimbikitsidwa ngati: 

• Nonse mumakangana pa zinthu zomwezo. Ngakhale ndewu ikayamba pazifukwa zosiyanasiyana, imabwereranso ku mkwiyo womwewo wakale 
• Kusamvana kosavuta kapena mikangano ya ubale pitani mwachangu kukhala ndewu zamphamvu 
• Onse awiri (kapena m'modzi) sakukhutira ndi ubale wawo
• Maganizo anu akuvutika 
• Aliyense amadziona ngati wokanidwa 
• Kusalankhulana kumakhala nkhani yeniyeni
• Mumamva ngati mukubwerera mmbuyo mu ubale wanu 
• Ziribe kanthu zomwe mungachite, simungasunthe kupitirira kupweteka ndi mkwiyo 

Monga momwe katswiri wa zamaganizo Jui Pimple ananeneranso kuti: “Tonsefe timafunika kuyambiranso ubwenzi wathu pakadutsa nthawi zina, chifukwa zinthu sizikhala ngati mmene zinalili poyamba pa chibwenzi. Simudzadziwa ngati kuli koyenera kuyesetsa pokhapokha mutapereka kuwombera kwanu kopambana ndikuyesera kusunga chiyanjano pafupi ndi kutha. 

Momwe Mungagwiritsire Ntchito Mawu Otsimikizira Monga Chinenero Chachikondi?

125 Mauthenga Abwino Ammawa Kwa Iye - Wachikondi, Wachikondi, Wachikondi, Wachikondi, Wokoma

20 Zizindikiro Zenizeni Za Chikondi Chenicheni Mu Ubale

Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.