Umtshato sisithembiso esikhulu. Ukuyikhupha nomntu omnye ubomi yinto enkulu kwaye akukho lula. Umtshato unokuba ngamava obomi abuhlungu kwaye azukileyo, kodwa kwakhona ulwalamano olumele lunyamezele ezinye zeenkqwithela ezinkulu. Nangona kukho bonke ubunzima, nangona kunjalo, maninzi amabali akhuthazayo emitshato eyasindayo kwaye yaphuma yomelele ngakumbi emva kwesaqhwithi.
Kuthiwa imitshato yenziwa ezulwini kodwa inyaniso kukuba bamele baphile emhlabeni. Zonke izibini ezitshatileyo zidlula kwizigaba ezithile - ukulwa okuncinci, ukulwa okukhulu, ukuvutha kothando ukuya kwinqanaba lokuba kuphele kukungabi nabudlelwane obusondeleyo. Ngelixa abanye bephuma lula, abanye bajamelana neentlobo ezahlukeneyo zeengxaki ezibeka imitshato yabo kuvavanyo.
Ngaba umtshato yeyona nto inzima ukujamelana nayo? Kusenokwenzeka ukuba umtshato umalunga nabantu ababini abahluke ngokupheleleyo abavela kwiimvelaphi ezahlukeneyo abadibana kunye ukuze babe nophahla olufanayo emva kokuba bekhulile. Imalunga nokuqonda omnye komnye kwaye sijongane nezilingo kunye neembandezelo zobomi kunye.
Ukuba sijonge abantu abadumileyo ukuze bafumane inkuthazo, inkanyezi ethandekayo yaseHollywood uTom Hanks kunye nenkosikazi yakhe uRita Wilson ubudlelwane libali lomtshato elikhuthazayo. Xa badibana ngo-1984, uHanks wayetshatile ngelo xesha, kodwa i-chemistry yabo yayingenakuphikiswa. Kwiminyaka engama-37 kamva, umtshato wabo uye wasinda kwiimvavanyo zaseHollywood kwaye wamelana namabala arhabaxa oza nalo naluphi na ubudlelwane bexesha elide obuhlala bubekwe kwindawo ebonakalayo. Olwabo lusapho oludityanisiweyo kunye noHanks onabantwana ababini kumtshato wakhe wokuqala, kwaye bayawenza usebenze. Ukuba ubhidekile ukuba ungasinda njani emtshatweni, esi sisibini onokujonga kuso ukuze ufumane inkuthazo.
Kodwa mhlawumbi abantu abadumileyo abakhuthazi ukuzithemba. Mhlawumbi ufuna 'indlela yokusinda emtshatweni' isikhokelo esivela kubantu abaqhelekileyo abaye bangena emtshatweni, kodwa baphuma ngemibala ephaphazelayo. Siyakuva! Nanga amabali akhuthazayo emitshato eyasindayo, ukuze izibini ezitshatileyo zazi kwaye zithembe ukuba kukho ukukhanya ekupheleni kwetonela.
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Amabali akhuthazayo emitshato eyasindayo
Isiqulatho
Kuthiwa xa i ixesha lehoneymoon liyaphela, umtshato wokwenene uyaqalisa. Akunakuze wazi ukuba umtshato unokukunika nini ithuba elijikajikayo, kodwa indlela ohlangabezana ngayo nawo nendlela ophuma womelele ngayo kuloo meko ithetha lukhulu ngendlela ophumelele ngayo ngokwenene umtshato wakho. Sikunika amabali asi-7 emitshato eyasindayo xa yayibonakala ematyeni.
1. “Xa sasifelwe ngumntwana”
“Siphulukene nomntwana wethu, ebeneminyaka emibini enesiqingatha ubudala, ibingathi ibuhlungu intliziyo yethu, umfazi wam wazibamba ngamandla.
Umama wayekuphela kwesigulana awayenaso. Wampha ukutya waza wamncedisa. Kwakukho ixesha kwiminyaka emibini emva kwesehlo sokuba ndandifuna ukuyoqhawula umtshato kodwa andizange ndikwazi ukuyenza. Kusemva kokuba umfazi wam ezame ukunqumla izihlahla endathi ndaqonda ukuba ndandimthanda yaye ndandizingca. Ukuphantse ukuzibulala kwandenza ndamnyamekela, kwandomeleza.
Saya kunyango kangangonyaka ngaphambi kokuba afunde ukuhlangabezana nokulahlekelwa yaye wayeka ukusela kakhulu. Ibiyi 5 years ngoku. Unxilile. Sinomntwana oyinkwenkwe osempilweni kwaye asizange sithandane ngakumbi.”
2. “Xa wayethandana”
“Wathandana nomfundi wakhe kangangeenyanga ezintandathu, andizange ndiyiqonde loo nto, ekugqibeleni weza kum waza wavuma.
Senza umzamo wokuyincama kwaye wandibonisa ukuba unokuthenjwa kwakhona. Ilizwi lakhe uligcinile ukusukela ngalamini kwaye ndiyavuya ukuba andizange ndipakishe ndahamba ngenxa yempazamo enye ayenzileyo. Ndabona ukuba kulula ukubamba inzondo kwaye kunzima ukuxolela. Kodwa ukuba iqhina lomtshato wenu lomelele ngokwenene, linokusinda kuzo zonke iingxaki. ”
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3. “Xa waphelelwa ngumsebenzi”
“Kukho ixesha apho inkampani ebeyisebenzela umyeni wam iye yantlitheka, ukungaphangeli kwamenza waphambana, ooMazala nabazali bam babengandixhasi kwaphela nto leyo eyayimenza abe ligeza.Imadlana endandiyenza wayeyichithela kwizinto ezingenamsebenzi yaye akazange aphakamise nomnwe encedisa endlini okanye nomntwana wethu.Ukungasebenzi akuzange kuncede ukuzithemba kwakhe emva kosuku emva komhla wakhula ngokuzingca. Iingxaki zomtshato nemali beziphezu kwethu.
Sachitha iinyanga sihlala phantsi kophahla olunye yaye sincokola kuphela xa kuyimfuneko. Wayedandathekile kodwa akazange avume ukufuna uncedo, endibetha ngalo lonke ixesha ndizama ukuthetha naye ngokufumana uncedo. Kuphela kusemva kokuba efumene umsebenzi omtsha awathi waqalisa ukuba bhetele. Kwinyanga yokuqala yomsebenzi, wayengafane abuye ekhaya kwaye ndandicinga ukuba le yinto yethu. Ngenyanga afumene ngayo umrholo wokuqala, wafika ekhaya wandinika imali.
Wade wavuma ukuya kugqirha kwaye wabuyela kwisimo sakhe sakudala emva kweenyanga ezimbalwa. Xa ndicinga ngezo ntsuku ngoku, ndifumana ama-goosebumps. Umyeni wam yindoda eyomeleleyo kodwa ukungaphangeli kunokuwisa usapho lonke. Ngoku ukuba umntu undibuza indlela yokusinda emtshatweni, ndibaxelela ukuba umonde yeyona nto ibalulekileyo. Yiba nokholo lokuba izinto ziya kuba ngcono ekugqibeleni.”
4. “Xa umfazi wam wafunyaniswa ukuba unomhlaza”
“Umfazi wam wafunyaniswa ukuba unomhlaza kwiminyaka embalwa edlulileyo.Bekukho ubunzima obukhulu bemali kodwa sakwazi ukuphumelela.Ndiyavuya umhlaza wafunyaniswa usaqala kwaye ndiyambulela kuba ebesomelele ngokwaneleyo kuthi sobabini.Ndimthanda ngathi uyaphambana.
Ndicinga ukuba ukuhamba kunyango lwakhe lomhlaza yayilelona xesha linzima emtshatweni wethu, ngokwasemoyeni nasemalini. Kwaba ngathi lidabi esasisilwa mihla le yaye siphuma siloyiso. Ndiva umtshato osindayo kumhlaza ungaphila nantoni na. Emva kwala mava asoyikisa kakhulu, ngoku siye safunda indlela yokusinda emtshatweni. ”
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5. “Xa kwafuneka sinyamezele umtshato omde”
“Umfazi wam kwafuneka ayokwenza umsebenzi wokufundisa e-Oman iminyaka emithathu, kwanyanzeleka ndihlalele abantwana. iingxaki zobudlelwane bomgama omde inokuba nzima.
Kwelinye icala, ndandikhumbula ubukho bakhe ngokwasemzimbeni nenkxaso yakhe ngokweemvakalelo yaye kwelinye icala, kwakufuneka ndibajongele phantsi abantwana ndisodwa. Maxa wambi kwakudimaza gqitha iimvakalelo. Iminyaka emithathu lixesha elide. Kodwa xa ebuyile, ukudibana kwaba yeyona nto imnandi endakha ndayazi. Ndandingazange ndizive ndisemathandweni. Ngokwenene eli lelinye lawona mabali makhulu emitshato eyasindayo kuba ndandicinga ukuba ndiphantse ndaphulukana nomfazi wam endimthandayo.”
6. “Ukuziqhelanisa nabantwana bomtshato wakhe wokuqala”
“Umfazi wam wayenabantwana kumtshato wakhe wokuqala, emva kokuba sitshatile, izinto azizange zibe mnandi kangako, abantwana abakwishumi elivisayo babengandithandi nakancinci, umamazala wayendijonge ngathi ndilirhamncwa, wandinika isihogo. Ukujongana nomamazala onzima yayiyincam nje yentaba yomkhenkce.
Ngenxa yokuba wonke umntu wayendicaphukela, umfazi wam kwakufuneka athathe icala lakowabo ngamanye amaxesha nto leyo yayindiphambanisa.
Ndandingazi ukuba ukujongana nabantwana bomtshato wesibini kunokuba nzima ngolo hlobo kwaye banokuba nentiyo engaka ezintliziyweni zabo ngotata wabo wesibini. Ngamanye amaxesha ndandiye ndicinge ukuba ndiphosakele kwisigqibo sam sokungena kulo mtshato. Kwaba kusemva kokuba umntwana omkhulu eye ekholejini apho inkwenkwana encinci yaqalisa ukufudumala kum. Konke kulungile ngoku. "
7. “Xa wayekwimeko embi”
“Ndadlwengulwa, umzabalazo wawumbi, kwakukho ixesha apho umyeni wam wayecaphuka ngayo yonke into awayeyikhuphela kum, wayesilela ukubona ukuba ndilixhoba. umtshato wawusematyeni.
Kodwa andiyazi ukuba siwathathe phi amandla okuncama kwaye wayeqonda ukuba le nto ndidlule kuyo ibuhlungu kwaye wayenovelwano. Ungumntu olungileyo kwaye ndiyavuya kuba siye saphumelela kwixesha elinzima.”
Siyathemba ukuba la mabali emitshato aye asinda kuzo zonke iingxaki ayakhuthazwa kwaye akukhuthazile. Umtshato sisithembiso esinzima. Ayinakuze ihambe kakuhle, kodwa indlela ojamelana ngayo namaxesha anzima iya kukuxelela indlela ophumelele ngayo umtshato wakho. La mabali akhuthazayo ezibini ezitshatileyo asibonisa ukuba ukuba ubani unamandla kunye namandla, sinokuloyisa iingxaki zomtshato.
FAQs
Ngokuqinisekileyo. Awukho umtshato okanye ulwalamano olunokufezeka ngalo lonke ixesha. Iingxaki zinyanzelekile ukuba zenzeke kubomi bakho kunye nakubudlelwane bakho ngokunjalo.
Ewe. Imitshato yinto enzima kwaye ifuna ixesha elininzi, ukuqonda kunye nomonde. Zizakuba khona iintsuku apho uya kube ujijisana nendlela yokusinda emtshatweni kuba kuya kubonakala kunzima. Nangona kunjalo, ekugqibeleni kuya kufaneleka.
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Ixesha lam elibi lisaqhubeka, besithandana kodwa wandishiya wayotshata nomnye umntu. Batshata emva kweenyanga ezi-6 zomtshato, kwaye emva kweenyanga ezi-2-3 bohlukene ngoku. Ngoku ubuyile endicenga ukuba abuyele ebomini bam kwaye andikwazi ukumamkela ndide ndidlulele phambili.
Ummelwane wam waphulukana nayo yonke into ngenxa yomlilo olusizi, kuquka nonyana wabo. Sonke sawubona umtshato wabo ubuwohloka. Zininzi ke iimvavanyo ekufuneka uzinyamezele emtshatweni. Kubuhlungu.