Kutheni Umtshato Unzima Kangaka? Izizathu kunye neendlela zokuyenza ibenexabiso

Kukho isicatshulwa esidumileyo esithi: "Umtshato ufana nendlu. Xa ibhalbhu icima, awuyi kuthenga indlu entsha, ulungisa ibhalbhu." Kwaye ngokufanelekileyo. Iyamangalisa indlela nakweli xesha lobudlelwane obumanzi, abantu basatshata. Kodwa umtshato ophumelelayo ufuna umsebenzi omninzi. Ngoko, kutheni umtshato unzima kangaka?

A isifundo ibonisa ukuba amazinga omtshato e-US ehlile kwiminyaka. Enyanisweni, amazinga omtshato abone ukuhla kwe-50% ngokukhawuleza ukususela ngo-1972. Kodwa kutheni abanye abantu besakhetha ukuhamba phantsi kwaye benze izithembiso zobomi bonke kumntu oyedwa okhethekileyo, nangona kukho ubunzima? Ngaba umtshato unzima kumntu wonke? Ewe, mhlawumbi umtshato unzima kodwa ufanelekile. Kodwa ngayiphi indlela? Umntu udlula njani kumaxesha anzima aze ahlale kunye?

Qhubeka ufunda, njengoko sityhila imingeni emitshatweni kwaye sifumane izisombululo ngoncedo lomcebisi URuchi Ruuh (IDiploma yesiDanga kwiCounselling Psychology), ogxile ekucebiseni imiba enxulumene nokuthandana, ukungathembeki, ukungquzulana emtshatweni, kunye noqhawulo-mtshato.

Yeyiphi Eyona minyaka inzima yomtshato?

Sonke siya kuvuma ukuba imitshato ifuna umsebenzi omninzi wemihla ngemihla. Kodwa kutheni umtshato unzima kangaka? Kwaye ngowuphi unyaka womtshato ongowona unzima? Ubukhulu becala kukholelwa ukuba imitshato idla ngokuqhekeka kunyaka we-7. Kwaye oku kuye kwangqinwa ngokwezibalo, njengoko uza kubona kamva kweli candelo. Nangona kunjalo, esinye isikolo sabaphandi sikholelwa ukuba imitshato ijongene nokubi kakhulu kunyaka we-10.

A isifundo esitsha, nangona kunjalo, ibonisa ukuba kunye ne-7-year-itch, kubonakala ngathi kukho ukuthambekela kwemitshato edilikayo yi-4.^th unyaka. Kodwa oko akuthethi ukuba imitshato ayinazo iingxaki kwasekuqaleni. Kutheni unyaka wokuqala womtshato ngowona unzima? Siza kufumanisa kweli candelo. Makhe sijonge imizekelo embalwa yemitshato eba muncu ngamaxesha ahlukeneyo.

UkuFunda okuFanayo: 9 Iingxaki Phantse Sonke Isibini Sijongana Nonyaka Wokuqala Sitshatile

Unyaka woku-1

Unyaka wokuqala wawo nawuphi na umtshato, obizwa ngokufanelekileyo ngokuba 'sisigaba sehoneymoon' kunye nesigaba sothando lothando, unokuba yingxaki kwabaninzi. Kwezinye iimeko, isenokuba ngowona nyaka unzima emtshatweni. URuchi uthi, “Kunyaka wokuqala, abantu benza uhlengahlengiso oluninzi, yaye oko kukodwa kunokuba nzima.” Ngoko, kutheni unyaka wokuqala womtshato unzima kakhulu? Ewe, nazi izinto ezimbalwa ezenza kube nzima ukuqala komtshato:

• Enye yeengxaki ezibalaseleyo abasandul’ ukutshata kukuba mhlawumbi ngamava okuqala esi sibini sihlala kunye kwaye sijongene nemingeni yemihla ngemihla.
• Basenokuba bafunda ukunxibelelana nokufundana iilwimi zothando
• Basenokuba bazama ukuqondana umthwalo weemvakalelo (ezifana nokwenzakala kwangaphambili kubudlelwane)
• Ukuqhuba ikhaya okanye ukwenza izigqibo zohlahlo lwabiwo-mali kunye kusenokungabi lula, njengoko ngamnye unokuba neemfuno ezahlukeneyo (Kwenye, ubulungu bejimu bunokubaluleka, ngelixa omnye unokufuna ukutyala imali efanayo ekuhambeni)
• Enye yeengxaki ezisandula ukutshata kukuba isibini sihamba ngeendlela ezintsha ezilindelekileyo kunye nokuziqhelanisa nendima entsha (leyo yomboneleli okanye umondli)

Unyaka we-7

I-7-year-itch isenokungabi yintsomi emva kwayo yonke into, kwaye kukho okungakumbi kunomdlalo ohlekisayo kaMarilyn Monroe wegama elifanayo. Isazi ngendalo kwiYunivesithi yaseRutgers uHelen Fisher wenze a isifundo kwaye yafumanisa ukuba imitshato inobude behlabathi jikelele be-7 iminyaka. Kodwa uye waqaphela ukuba ipesenti ephezulu yabantu baqhawula umtshato malunga ne-4^th unyaka.

URuchi uthi, "Ngonyaka we-7 amanqaku, imitshato emininzi iyaqhawuka ngenxa yeengxaki ezininzi. Ngelo xesha, abantu basenokuba banabantwana kwaye ubomi busenokuba bube nzima kakhulu. Amanqanaba oxinzelelo aphezulu ngalo lonke ixesha, hayi nje ngenxa yabantwana, kodwa nangenxa yemiba yaphakathi kwi-career. Izibini zisenokungakwazi ukuchitha ixesha kunye.”

Nantsi into onokuyilindela kumtshato weminyaka esi-7:

• Kukho ukuncipha kokusondelana ngokomzimba nangokweemvakalelo
• Nihlala nixabana okanye nigxeka
• Kukho ukungathembeki okanye nichitha ixesha ningekho
• Nithathana kancinci
• Uziva ungaxatyiswanga
• Kukho ukunqongophala kokuthembana
• Niqala ukugcina iimfihlo omnye komnye

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Xa Umtshato Olungileyo Umalunga Nokuxhasa Iqabane Lakho

Unyaka we-10

Ngokutsho kweYunivesithi yaseBrigham Young isifundo iqhutywe kwi-2,000 yabasetyhini abangaqhelekanga iminyaka engama-35, unyaka onzima womtshato ujikeleze i-10^th unyaka. Kwaye oku kungenxa yokuba, ngo-10^th unyaka, amaqabane badla ukufumana phezu umnqweno ukukholisa omnye komnye kwaye batyhale zonke iingxaki zabo phantsi ikhaphethi. Ke, nantsi into enokwenzeka ngo-10^th unyaka:

• Izibini zinokuziva ngathi akukho ndlela ivakalayo yokuwuqhubela phambili umtshato
• Izibini azikwazi ukudibanisa kunye, kunye isithukuthezi sibeka umtshato
• Uvakalelo lwelahleko luyangena kwaye izibini zinokungena kwingxaki yaphakathi kubomi kwaye zijonge ukuqinisekiswa ngaphandle komtshato
• Abantu bayadinwa yinkqubo yesiqhelo
• Izibini ziyakruquka ziziphene zamaqabane azo

Unyaka we-14 okanye we-15

URuchi uvakalelwa kukuba: “Ngaphandle konyaka we-10, imitshato iphinda ibe muncu malunga nonyaka we-14 okanye we-15 xa abantwana besiba kwishumi elivisayo baze baqalise ukuvukela.” Nantsi into onokuyilindela ngeli xesha:

• Ubunzima bokuqhubana nabakwishumi elivisayo abanemvukelo bunokuphumela emtshatweni
• Iingxabano kunye neengxabano zinokuba yinto entsha yesiqhelo
• Iishedyuli eziyimfuneko zabantwana babo abafikisayo zinako ukubulala ezothando, kunye neminqweno yesini kunye neminye iminqweno isenokungafezeki

Iminyaka ye-18-20

Imitshato nayo iyaqhekeka malunga neminyaka eyi-18-20. URuchi uvakalelwa kukuba eli lelona xesha linzima lokwenza izinto zisebenze, njengoko izibini mhlawumbi sele zenze isigqibo ngokuwushiya umtshato ngoku. Nantsi into eyenzekayo ngeli xesha:

• Izibini zisenokuba sele ziyilungisile indlela yokuphuma kwaye zizilungiselele ngokwasengqondweni, ngokweemvakalelo nangokwemali
• Amaqabane ekusenokwenzeka ukuba ayelindele ukuba abantwana babo bazinze ngoku bayaqonda ukuba banokuwuyeka ngokulula umtshato ekubeni sele befikelele kwinqanaba 'elingenanto'.
• izibini andisaluva uthando kwaye banokuhamba ngeendlela zabo kwaye bangaziva benetyala ngako

Kodwa umtshato uba lula nini? Ayinakwenzeka, kodwa ekuphela kwento ekufuneka yenziwe ngumntu kukujongana ngqo nemiceli mngeni. Kwaye kutheni umtshato unzima kunokuthandana? Ngenxa yokuba awukwazi ukuqhawula iqabane lakho ngokulula. Kuninzi okusemngciphekweni.

Kutheni Umtshato Unzima Kangaka? I-11 yeyona micelimngeni mikhulu ekunokufuneka ujongane nayo

URuchi uthi: “Imitshato inokuba nzima, njengoko kufuna umsebenzi omninzi ukuze uhlale utshatile uze wamkele loo mntu ngonaphakade, iintsilelo nazo zonke izinto.

Kodwa yintoni eneneni intsingiselo 'yomtshato onzima'? A Umsebenzisi weReddit Ithi, "Ngokwam ndicinga ukuba "kufuneka wenze umzamo" kunokuba ube nzima. Kuya kuba nzima ngamanye amaxesha, kodwa yonke imihla iqheleke kakhulu. Ndicinga ukuba umlinganiso olungileyo yindlela oyithandayo / into yokuzonwabisa inokuba yinto oyithandayo kwaye uyonwabele ukuyenza, kodwa kwangaxeshanye ibe yinto ekufuneka uyenzile. yenza umgudu omkhulu kunye namandla, kwaye into ngamanye amaxesha inokuba nzima. ” Ngoko ke, ekugqibeleni kubilisa kumsebenzi ekufuneka umntu awenze ukuze anqobe i-bit "enzima" emtshatweni, kwaye oku kusebenza kwimitshato yalo lonke ixesha.

Ngoko, ngaba ukuhlala emtshatweni kunzima ngolo hlobo? Ngaba kukho enye i-engile kuyo? Enye Umsebenzisi weReddit inokuthathwa okwahlukileyo. Uthi, "Ndicinga ukuba abantu abaninzi bayabhidanisa ukufuna ukutshata nomntu abathandana naye kunye nokufuna ukutshata. Abantu abaninzi bacinga ukuba ukutshata yinto nje eluhlu abafanele "bahlole." Gqiba isikolo, ufumane imfundo yasemva kwesekondari, ufumane umsebenzi ohambelana nemfundo yasemva kwesekondari, ukutshata, kwaye uqale usapho. umntu kubo.” Kwaye siyavumelana naye ukusa kumlinganiselo othile. Imitshato, nokuba kukunyanzelwa okanye ngenxa yothando, kunokuba nzima ekuhambeni kwexesha, kwaye siza kujonga izizathu ezimbalwa zokuba:

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Ingcebiso yomtshato ehlekisayo kwabasandul' ukutshata: Gcina ukuhleka Kuphila!

1. Akukho nxibelelwano lusebenzayo

Ukungabikho konxibelelwano sesinye sezizathu ezibangela ukuba imitshato ibe neengxaki. URuchi uthi, “Ukungakwazi ukuvakalisa iintswelo nezinto ezixhalabisayo emtshatweni kusenokubangela ukungaqondani nokuqhekeka.” Ke, ukuvulela iqabane lakho kubaluleke kakhulu.

2. Ulindelo olwahlukileyo

Ubomi bomtshato bunzima kuba abantu ababini abafani. Banokungqubana okulindelweyo kubudlelwane. U-Ruchi ukholelwa ukuba, "Kubalulekile ukwazisa omnye umntu ngendima olindele ukuba ayidlale. Uxanduva kunye nokutshintsha kobudlelwane kufuneka kuchazwe ngokucacileyo."

3. Uxinzelelo lwemali

URuchi uthi, “Ubomi bomtshato buhamba neembopheleleko ezahlukahlukeneyo, yaye oku kuchaphazela neembopheleleko zemali.” Imali ngumenzi omkhulu wemali (okanye i-deal breaker) emtshatweni, kwaye uninzi lwe iingxabano zivela ngenxa yemicimbi yezemali. Nantsi eminye imiba enjalo:

• Izibonelelo ezinyiniweyo zidala ukungavisisani malunga nokuba imali ichithwa ngantoni
• Uhlahlo lwabiwo-mali, ukuba akuvunyelwananga ngalo ngamxhelo-mnye, ludala iiyantlukwano
• Ukonga ixesha elide nako kunokubangela ukungavisisani, njengoko elinye iqabane lisenokufuna ukuphucula umgangatho wobomi, ngoxa elinye lisenokungabi namali.

4. Iinguqu

Utshintsho oluninzi lunokwenzeka emtshatweni, ekuhambeni kwexesha. Makhe sijonge umzekelo omnye. Umhlobo wam, uLucy, wayengumgcini wekhaya kumanqanaba okuqala omtshato wakhe. Noko ke, ekuhambeni kwexesha, akazange afumane isidanga kuphela kulawulo lweshishini kodwa wagqiba ekubeni ajoyine inkampani yezizwe ngezizwe ekumgangatho ophezulu, efumana umvuzo ophindwe kabini kunomyeni wakhe. IiRifts zaqala ukubonakala kungekudala, kwaye uLucy nomyeni wakhe bahlukana ekugqibeleni. Ke, siza kujonga kwiinguqu ezimbalwa ezinokuthi zenze umtshato ube nzima:

• Iindlela zekhondo lomntu ngamnye
• Abazali kunye neengxaki zabo zempilo
• Ukugula okanye ukukhubazeka

UkuFunda okuFanayo: 15 Iimpawu Ezifihlakeleyo Kodwa Ezomeleleyo Umtshato Wakho Uya Kuphelela Kuqhawulo-mtshato

5. Ukunqongophala kokuziqhelanisa

Ukuziqhelanisa neemeko ngundoqo kumtshato ophilileyo, yaye xa loo nto ingekho, umtshato unokuba nzima. URuchi uyavuma esithi, “Isibini sifanele sisebenzisane njengeqela.

6. Ukunqongophala kobudlelwane obusondeleyo

Ukusondelelana yenye yezinto eziphambili zomtshato, yaye oku kuquka ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo nangokwasemzimbeni, kuquka nokusondelana ngokwesini. URuchi uthi, “Elinye iqabane lalinako uzive unesithukuthezi okanye uqhawukile emtshatweni ukuba imilinganiselo yokusondelelana kwawo omabini amaqabane ayihambelani.”

7. Olunye ubudlelwane

Maxa wambi, imitshato inokuba yingozi xa iphenjelelwa lolunye ulwalamano. URuchi uthi: “Kwiimeko ezininzi, imitshato iyachaphazeleka ngenxa yempembelelo yomntu wesithathu.

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Ubudlelwane boMfazi woMyeni - Iingcebiso ezili-9 zeeNgcali zokuPhucula

8. Uxinzelelo lomsebenzi

Olona celomngeni luphambili emtshatweni kukulungelelanisa uxinezeleko lomsebenzi. URuchi uthi, “Sisoloko sifumanisa ukuba iingxaki ezinxulumene nomsebenzi azivumeli izibini ezininzi ukuchitha ixesha elisemgangathweni kunye.” Oku kunokubangela ukucaphuka, ukungoneliseki ngokwesondo, ukungabikho kokulala, kunye nemiba eyahlukeneyo yengqondo.

9. Ukukhula komntu

Mhlawumbi sonke siyavuma ukuba abantu bayatshintsha ngokuhamba kwexesha. Oku kubhekiselele kumaxabiso abo, izinto abazithandayo, iindlela zokutya, imikhwa yokomelela, kunye nezinto abazithandayo. Yaye oku kunokuba lucelomngeni olukhulu emtshatweni. URuchi uthi: “Xa sikhula njengabantu, maxa wambi sisenokukhula kulwalamano lwethu.

10. Ulindelo olungekho ngqiqweni

Ngempembelelo ekhulayo yemithombo yeendaba zentlalo kunye nobudlelwane obugqibeleleyo kunye nobuhle esibubona kuyo, abantu banokuziva bephosile ukuba 'sisibini esigqibeleleyo'. Esi sizukulwana sinobunzima bokukholelwa oko ubudlelwane obunempilo kunye nolonwabo zikhona ngaphandle kwesidlo sangokuhlwa esimnandi kunye nohambo lwehlabathi. Okanye ukuba 'ubomi obulungileyo' obuboniswa kumajelo eendaba zentlalo bunokuba bubuxoki.

URuchi wongezelela ngelithi, “Asinakuphila kwihlabathi lee<em>rom-coms.” Imifanekiso eshukumayo ibonisa ulwalamano olugqibeleleyo, apho izibini ziba neentlobano zesini ezimnandi yaye zichitha ixesha lothando phantse ngalo lonke ixesha.

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Yintoni indima yomyeni kubudlelwane bale mihla?

11. Ukungabikho kwexesha

Olona celomngeni lukhulu kubomi bomtshato kukuba izibini ezininzi zityekele ekuchitheni ixesha elincinane kunye njengoko umtshato uqhubeka. URuchi uthi, “Abantu badla ngokuthanda ukuthathana omnye komnye. Kodwa kuwo nawuphi na umtshato ophumelelayo ngokweemvakalelo, ukuchitha ixesha elisemgangathweni kubaluleke gqitha.” Ngoku ukuba unoluhlu olupheleleyo lweempendulo kumbuzo othi, "Kutheni umtshato unzima kangaka?", Siza kungena nzulu kwezinye iindlela ezivavanyiweyo zokuwenza usebenze, nangona kukho imingeni.

Iingcebiso ezili-9 zokwenza umtshato ube nexabiso lomsebenzi onzima

Ngoko, ngoku ukuba unempendulo yombuzo othi, "Kutheni umtshato unzima kangaka?", Nceda uqaphele ukuba nangona kukho imingeni, kukho izizathu ezininzi zokwenza umtshato usebenze. Ngamazwi alula, umtshato unzima kodwa ufanelekile.

Kwaye kutheni umtshato unzima kunokuthandana? Okubaluleke ngakumbi, kutheni abantu besakhetha, ukuba kunjalo? URuchi uyacacisa, “Umtshato ukunika imvakalelo yokuzinikela ngokunzulu nokuzinza, iinjongo zexesha elide, inkxaso yeemvakalelo, kunye neenzuzo zemali nezomthetho. Imitshato ikwabonelela ngeenzuzo zomtshato ezifana nokufikelela kwi-inshurensi yezempilo, ukwenza lula isicelo semali-mboleko, kunye nezibonelelo zokuhamba. Yongeza kusukelo analo, njengokwakha ikamva, ukuya kwiiholide kunye, ukunyamekela abantwana.”

Yaye oku akuphelelanga apho, ubomi bomtshato bunikela intsingiselo yenjongo. Bakunceda ukuba usebenzele usukelo lwakho kwaye bakukhuthaze ukuba udlulele ngaphaya kweeyantlukwano. Bakunceda usebenze ekulawuleni ngokweemvakalelo. Bakwabonelela ngokuziva uyinxalenye yoluntu. Ke, nazi iingcebiso zokuyenza isebenze:

1. Ningaze niyeke ukuthandana

Njengesibini, akumele uyeke ukuchitha ixesha elisemgangathweni kunye nomnye. URuchi uthi, “Cwangcisani ukwenza imihla, okanye nihlale nje ekhaya nizonwabele ixesha kunye. qhagamshela kwinqanaba elinzulu. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ibe yinto entle, kodwa inokuba yinto elula njengokuthenga igrosari. ”

2. Yiba nombulelo

Kubalulekile ukuba uyeke ukubona iqabane lakho ngento elikwenzela yona kwaye uqale ukulibona ngendlela eliyiyo. URuchi wongezelela ngelithi, “Yiba nombulelo ngendlela abazibonakalisa ngayo uze ulixabise ixabiso labo.”

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Iindlela ezili-9 zokulungisa umtshato owaphukileyo kwaye uwugcine

3. Musa ukunikezela kwiimvakalelo ezingakhiyo

Enye yezona ndlela zibalaseleyo zokwenza umtshato usebenze kukufunda ukoyisa iimvakalelo ezingakhiyo. Funda ukuba ungacaphuki okanye ukhathazeke. URuchi uthi: “Yima kancinci, kodwa ungayeki xa izinto zingahambi kakuhle.

4. Yakha ukuthembana

Kubalulekile ukwakha ezininzi ukuthembela kubudlelwane ukuyenza isebenze. URuchi uthi: “Musa ukubandakanyeka kwizinto ezitshabalalisayo, ezinjengokuxoka, ukuqhatha nokuba nemali.

5. Musa ukuzibetha ngoyaba iimvakalelo

Wonke umntu uyazenza iimpazamo, kwaye abantu ababini abanakuze babe kwiphepha elinye ngalo lonke ixesha. Ngoko ke, ukungaqondani kunokuvela. Ngokunjalo, iimvakalelo ziya kuvuka ukuba ekugqibeleni ulimaza iimvakalelo zeqabane lakho. URuchi ucebisa ngelithi, “Kunokuba ucaphuke okanye utyhale izinto ngaphantsi kwekhaphethi, zama ukuhlangabezana nezo mvakalelo.

6. Gxininisa kwiinjongo ekwabelwana ngazo

Umntu kufuneka ahlale egxininisa amaxabiso ekwabelwana ngawo kunye neenjongo. Nokuba lusukelo lwentsapho, ukukhula komntu, usukelo lwekhondo lomsebenzi, okanye iinjongo ekwabelwana ngazo ngekamva, ezi ziziseko zemitshato.

7. Yiba bhetyebhetye

Izibini zifanele zilungelelane xa kufikwa ekusebenzeni ngendlela yazo ngamaxesha anzima. U-Ruchi wongeza, "Kufuneka ulungele ukuhamba kunye nemiceli mngeni kunye. Khumbula, ukuyo kunye kwaye ugxininise kumhlaba ofanayo wokukhula."

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Ingcebiso ngomtshato-IiNjongo ezili-15 ekufuneka zijongiwe uthi iTherapist

8. Gcinani imbeko

Intlonipho sesinye isithako esingundoqo kulwalamano oluphilileyo nolonwabo. Kwaye kubalulekile ukubonisa intlonipho yakho ngoku:

• Ubabonisa ukuba uyabaxabisa yonke imihla
• Ukuphatha iqabane lakho njengomntu ngamnye kwaye uxabise izinto abazithandayo
• Ukubanika indawo eyaneleyo kubudlelwane
• Ukuphepha ulwimi okanye indlela yokuziphatha ethoba isidima

9. Hlakulela ubuhlobo obusenyongweni

Umtshato ngaphandle kokusondelana sisiphelo esingenasiphelo. Kwaye ngokusondelana, sithetha zonke iintlobo zobudlelwane obusondeleyo: ngokweemvakalelo, ngokwesondo, nangomoya. Ngoko ke, kubalulekile ukuba:

• Bonisa uthando lwakho rhoqo: Isenokuba zizimbo zomzimba ezilula, ezifana nokubamba izandla okanye ukuwola
• Hlala unxibelelana rhoqo: Oku kubalulekile kubantu abakwimitshato ekude, apho izibini zihlala zodwa ixesha elide ngenxa yemfundo okanye izibophelelo zentsapho, kwaye ukusondelana neqabane akunakwenzeka. Chitha ixesha kwiifowuni zevidiyo, iifowuni, kunye nemiyalezo, kwaye ungalibali izinto ezimnandi rhoqo kusasa
• Izinto zokuthambisa ebhedini: Ukwenza uthando olunenzondelelo akunandlela yimbi. Zama ukwenza izinto ze-jazz ebhedini kunye neethoyi zesondo okanye izikhundla ezintsha
• Ukuthetha: ukuba yakho ubudlelwane abunabudlelwane obusondeleyo, nxibelelana. Ukuba unxibelelwano aluphumeleli, musa ukuthandabuza ukuzityand’ igila kubantu obathembileyo okanye uthethe nogqirha okanye ingcali eqeqeshiweyo.

Kwilizwe elifikeleleka lula, ngenceba yemithombo yeendaba zentlalo kunye nolunye uphuhliso lwetekhnoloji, akukho kunqongophala kokhetho xa kufikwa ekufumaneni umntu oza kuba naye. Ngokukwanjalo, umtshato awuyomfuneko kweli xesha, ingekuko nokuba neqabane okanye ukuba nabantwana. Ukanti, amaxesha ngamaxesha, sifumana abantu bebopha iqhina kwaye besenza izithembiso zobomi bonke.

Nangona kunjalo, akukho mntu uthe imitshato yenzelwe ukuba ibe lula. Kodwa ngaba umtshato unzima kumntu wonke? Yabona, lo gama kukho abantu abahlukanayo nokona kungathandekiyo, kukho izibini ezihlala emitshatweni iminyaka engama-20 kodwa zisakruqukana. Ewe, mhlawumbi umtshato unzima kodwa ufanelekile. Kodwa njengokuba kufuneka unkcenkceshele isityalo yonke imihla ukuze sithwale isiqhamo ngenye imini, nomtshato kufuneka unyanyekelwe. Uba lula nini umtshato? Ewe, xa uyamkela imingeni kwaye usebenze kuyo.

Siyathemba ukuba inqaku lethu likuncede uphendule umbuzo ovuthayo: kutheni umtshato unzima kangaka? Siyathemba ukuba ikuncede uqokelele ingqiqo malunga nokuba ngowuphi unyaka womtshato ongowona unzima kunye nendlela yokujongana nemiceli mngeni ephoswa ngumtshato kuthi ekuhambeni kwexesha. Ngapha koko, imitshato isenokwenziwa ezulwini, kodwa kufuneka sijongane nayo apha emhlabeni.

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