Iimpawu ezingama-21 zoMyeni weNarcissistic kunye nendlela yokuhlangabezana nayo

What if besikuxelela ukuba wathandana nomyeni wakho onxakayo for the same characters udelela kuye namhlanje? Izinto ezinje ngokuzithemba, ukuzithemba, kunye nobuzibuthe, ezinomtsalane kakhulu kumntu onokuba liqabane, zinokufikelela ngokulula kwi-egoism, ukuzicingela, kunye nokukhohlisa. Kungenxa yoko le nto kudla ngokuba nzima ukubona iiflegi ezibomvu kwindlela yokuziphatha ye-narcissist kwizigaba zokuqala zobudlelwane.

Kodwa ngenye indlela okanye enye, uye waqonda ukuba usenokuba uye waphathwa ngekhadi elinzima-umyeni, ukulibeka ngobulali. Kwaye ngoku uzama ukuqiniseka ukuba imiceli mngeni ojongene nayo kubudlelwane bakho inokubekwa ngamagama, ilinganiswe - kwaye ngethemba - isonjululwe. Ukuqaphela iimpawu zomyeni we-narcissistic ngokuqhelekileyo linyathelo lokuqala kolu hambo, kulandelwa izicwangciso zokujongana nabantu abanjalo.

Sinaye umcebisi wesayikholojisti UJaseena Backer (MS Psychology), ingcaphephe yolawulo lwesini kunye nobudlelwane, ukunika ukukhanya kwiimpawu zakudala zendoda ye-narcissist, iimpawu ezixelayo malunga nokuziphatha kwakhe okunengxaki, kunye neengcebiso zokusinda kumyeni we-narcissistic.

Ngubani iNarcissist?

UGqr. Ramani Durvasula, umbhali wencwadi ethi, “I-narcissist ifana ne-emele enomngxuma emazantsi. Ngaba ndifanele ndihlale okanye ndihambe: Indlela yokusinda kubudlelwane kunye neNarcissist. Kule minyaka imbalwa idlulileyo, kuye kwakho ugxininiso oluninzi phakathi kweesayikholojisti kwi-narcissism. I-Narcissistic Personality Disorder ithathwa njengengxaki enkulu yobuntu. IBhayibhile yeePsychologists, INcwadi yokuHlola kunye neNkcazo yoBalo lweZiphazamiso zengqondo (DSM-5), ichaza utyekelo lwe-narcissistic ngolu hlobo:

• Ukuziva ubalulekile
• Imigangatho ephakamileyo yokuphumelela, amandla, ubuhle
• Inkolelo yokuba "zizodwa"
• Ukufuna ukunconywa okugqithisileyo
• Imvakalelo yokuba nelungelo
• Ukukwazi ukuxhaphaza kunye nokusebenzisa abanye
• Ukungabi naluvelwano
• Umona ngabanye, okanye inkolelo yokuba abanye bayabamonela
• Ukuzigwagwisa, impatho yekratshi nezimo zengqondo

Le nkcazo idinisa ngokwaneleyo ukuba ifundeke, singasathethi ke ngokuhlala nayo. Khawufane ucinge indlela yokujongana neqabane le-narcissist wedwa! Umyeni onenkani usenokungakuxhaphazi okanye abe nogonyamelo kuwe, kodwa ukufuna kwakhe ingqalelo rhoqo kunokukutshisa, njengoko nawe hamba kumaqokobhe amaqanda macala onke kuye.

Isiphumo esisecaleni sokutshata ne-narcissist kukuba ukuzithemba kwakho kunokuthatha ukubetha njengoko ubhekisa onke amandla akho ekulawuleni ukungakhuseleki kwakhe. Uxilongo oluchanekileyo lwe-NPD lunokunikwa kuphela ngugqirha wezempilo yengqondo, kodwa ezi mpawu zilandelayo ze-narcissistic umyeni ziya kukunika umbono olungileyo wento ochasene nayo.

Iimpawu zoMyeni weNarcissistic

Nangona i-façade yabo yokuzithemba, amadoda angama-narcissism angonwabi ngaphakathi, kwaye ukuhlala nomyeni ophethe i-narcissism kuneengxaki zako. Basokola nenkqubela phambili yabanye ngenxa yokhuphiswano, umona, ukuzithemba okuphantsi, kunye nokuninzi koku umthwalo weemvakalelo. Iimpawu zomyeni we-narcissist zinjalo ukuba banokuziva ngathi sisohlwayo sokwenene, njengoko abanye babo ababalulekileyo bebona ubudlelwane babo bothando bewela emiseleni imihla ngemihla.

UJaseena uyachaza, “Ukutshata ne-narcissist kuthetha ukujongana noqikelelo lwabo, ukulayita igesi, ukuqhushumba kweebhombu zothando, njl.njl. Kuyabhideka ukujongana nale siphithiphithi kwaye unokuzibuza, "Ingaba ndihamba kakubi kwenye indawo? Okanye ngaba ungumntu ohlekisayo?” Ukuba ne-narcissist yomyeni kufuna ukuba uye edabini uzilungiselele ngokupheleleyo Phambi kokuba ufunde indlela yokuvala i-narcissist, uya kufuna ukwazi ukuba yintoni kanye ujongene nayo apha.

1. Kufuneka alawule

Olu luphawu lomyeni we-narcissistic. Uya kuzingisa ekubeni abe nelizwi lokugqibela ngalo lonke ixesha. Akayi kucinga kabini phambi kokuba arhoxise izicwangciso okanye enze ezintsha ngaphandle kokubonisana nawe. Izinto KUFUNEKA zihambe ngendlela yakhe okanye uya kuqumba ngonaphakade. Umyeni oyinkazana unesakhono esingaqhelekanga sokwenza yonke into ngaye. Oku kunokukhokelela ekubeni alawule izinto ezincinci. Le mfuneko obsessive ukuba kulawulo ngawo onke amaxesha ukunikezela ufile kwaye ibonisa ukuba uzama ukuba ukongamela kubudlelwane.

UJaseena uthi, “Ubuntu obulawulayo ngomnye wemiqondiso yokuqala. “Yindlela yam okanye uhola wendlela.” Kulwalamano oluphilileyo, omabini amaqabane ayahlangabezana neemfuno neminqweno yomnye.

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2. Ukubeka phantsi

Ungazi njani ukuba ujongene ne-narcissist? Uya kuthetha nawe ngendlela ethobileyo, rhoqo ngokuncoma / ukubulela. Kuya kubonakala kakhulu ukuba akakuhloniphi. Kwezinye iimeko, uya kuzama ukuthatha ikhredithi ngenxa yempumelelo yakho. Nantsi ingxelo yakudala - "Jonga ukuba wenze kakuhle kangakanani phantsi kwesikhokelo sam."

Ngokusisiseko, yonke into oyenzayo ngokufanelekileyo kungenxa yakhe; yonke into ayenzayo engalunganga kungenxa yakho. Wazilibala izitshixo zemoto xa ephuma? “Kutheni ungandikhumbuzi nje ukuba ndiwathathe?” yinto yokuqala ephuma emlonyeni wakhe. Ngaba usoloko ukhalaza, “Umyeni wam oyinarcissist undigxeka ngayo yonke into!”? Kaloku, awuwedwa! Ngenxa yokuba umntu onama-narcissist uya kuhlala efumana indlela yokukugxeka, ukushiya ukuzithemba kwakho kuphazamisekile.

3. Unomtsalane kwaye ngokuphandle ngokwesini

Ewe, oku kunokuvakala njengophawu olukhulu kodwa eneneni lutyekelo lwe-narcissistic. Kungenxa yokuba indoda enenkani inokuzithemba kakhulu; ukhupha umtsalane kwaye ubuchule bakhe bunokubangela ukuba mkhulu chemistry ngokwesondo. Kodwa, ngumsebenzi nje wokuziphulula i-ego yakhe. Iindlela zakhe ezigudileyo ziya kuncipha emva kwexesha elithile. Umtsalane uyaphela kwaye umbona ukuba unjani ngokwenene, umntu ozingcayo.

Le mpawu narcissist ngokulula ukuguqulela kumyeni narcissistic ukukopela imeko, apho ezama ukukhulisa ngokwakhe phezulu ingqalelo ngokwesondo kwabanye abantu. Kuthathele ingqalelo oku njengenye yeempawu zobudlelwane obuchubekileyo be-narcissistic.

4. Inkxaso iyakhethwa

Usenokuziva ngathi umi ngakuwe ngokwenene. Ngokuqinisekileyo, unako. Kodwa kuphela kwiimeko ezithile - ezo zibonakalisa kakuhle ngaye. Uya kuza kwisidlo sakho somnatha, kungekhona ngenxa yokuba enebhongo ngawe kodwa ukuze akwazi ukuchukumisa abanye. Igama olikhangelayo leloku "zisebenzela" kwaye olo phawu luxhaphakile kwi-narcissist. Kuyoyikeka ukujongana nendoda enochuku kuba izimisele ukwenza umzamo logama nje isiphumo sivumelana naye.

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5. Unoluvo lokuba unelungelo

Ukufunda indlela yokuhlala nomyeni we-narcissist konke malunga nokuhamba ngengqondo eqhubekayo yendoda kunye nokungabi nankxalabo ngawe. Kwihlabathi lakhe elithi "Mna, mna, kunye nam", ulindele ukuba ulungelelanise ngokokuthanda kwakhe kunye neminqweno yakhe. Ngaba uceba ukukukhupha kwisidlo sangokuhlwa? Amathuba kukuba, iyakuba yindawo yokutyela ayithandayo, ukutya akuthandayo, kunye nexesha elimlungeleyo. Eyakho imihla yothando zigutyungelwe kukuzingca kwakhe. Ukungahoywa rhoqo kwiimfuno zakho, iimfuno, kunye neminqweno yinyani yokutshata ne-narcissist.

UJaseena ucacisa esithi: “Abafazi basoloko bevakalelwa kukuba bakwisiphelo esiyingozi kumtshato onjalo.” Ngenxa yokuba amadoda anjalo eqinisekile ngendima yawo kulwalamano lwawo, loo nto ibangela ukuba umntu azive efanelekile, nto leyo ethetha ukuba iimbono zeqabane azikhathalelwa.

6. Uyazithanda iincoko… malunga naye

"Umyeni wam wenza yonke into ngaye!" Ivakala iqhelekile? Umyeni wakho uyamamela iingxaki zakho kodwa uzenza ngaye. Uthanda ukubamba ingqalelo yesihlwele, kodwa kuphela ukuze aqhayise ngezinto aziphumezileyo ngaphandle kokunikela ngqalelo okanye ancome komnye umntu. Uziva ungavakali kubudlelwane kuba akanamdla kakhulu okanye akabandakanyekanga ebomini bakho. Ngamaxesha anqabileyo xa ekumamela, kukho “umyeni ongenaluvelwano” owahlukileyo kwaye oqhelekileyo. Uthandwa nguye, kwaye akukho nto ingako onokuyenza ngayo.

7 Akawazalisekisi amadinga akhe

Le yenye yeempawu ezichaza i-narcissistic: akafane agcine izithembiso zakhe kuwe. Enye yeziphumo eziphambili ze-narcissism kwiqabane kukuba uziva ungaxabisekanga ngenxa yoko. Isenokungabi ngabom, kodwa akacingi ukuba yinto enkulu. Ukuze azive elungile, uya kukuthembisa inyanga. Kodwa xa kufika ixesha lokuyixhasa ngezenzo, uya kuwela emva kakhulu.

Olu phawu lwakudala lomyeni we-narcissistic lunokudala imiba yokuthembela emtshatweni. Ukungazalisekisi izithembiso ngokuphindaphindiweyo kuneziphumo ezide kwaye kunokukhokelela ekuqhawukeni kobudlelwane. Usenokuba uzikhanyise ngegesi, ukuba, nangona uphakanyiswe amatyeli amaninzi, usenokuthi, “Ngaba umyeni wam ngunomona okanye uyazingca nje?”

8. Iingxaki zakho zibonwa ngeprism yakhe

Yithi ujongene nemeko embi ebomini - ukugxothwa, ukuphulukana nomntu omthandayo, okanye imeko ehlazisayo ebandakanya isihlobo okanye umhlobo. Udinga inkxaso kule meko isengozini, kodwa umyeni wakho wenza ntoni? Uyazibuza ukuba kuya kuchaphazela njani igama lakhe okanye ubomi bakhe. Olu lolona phawu luxelayo ukuba umyeni wakho uyazicingela.

Kwanezicombululo zakhe zisenokuhluzwa ngaloo njongo yokuzingca. Ukubeka wena kuqala akukho kwi-ajenda yakhe. Kwaye ekubeni ukujongana ne-passive-aggressive narcissist iqabane lobomi akuyi kuba yinto ephambili yakho xa inguye ofuna inkxaso, kuya kukhokelela kwiingxabano ezininzi. Le yindlela i-narcissism kunye nobudlelwane buba ngumjikelo okhohlakeleyo wokuzizalisekisa.

9. Izimvo zabanye zibalulekile kuye

Ekubeni i-narcissist ifuna ukuvunyelwa ngabanye, isenokungaluxabisi ukhetho okanye uluvo lwakho kwimibandela. Ngapha koko, sele ukwibhegi kwaye akasafuni kukuchukumiseka. Oku kuziphatha yinxalenye yomjikelo wokuxhatshazwa kwe-narcissistic apho akulahlileyo kwaye uziphatha ngendlela eyahlukileyo kunye nawe emva kweengcango ezivaliweyo. Kwelinye icala, ibalulekile kuye into ecingwa ngabamelwane, abaphathi, abahlobo okanye abantu abaziyo.

Ii-antics ezikholisa abantu bomyeni wakho ozicingelayo kufuneka ukuba ziye zangena kwimithambo-luvo yakho ngaxa lithile okanye kwelinye. UJaseena uthi, “Uza kufuna ukuqinisekiswa kubudlelwane bakhe.” Oku kuyalihlawula iqabane lakhe, kuba imigudu yakhe ayisoloko ijoliswe emtshatweni. ukungahoywa ngokweemvakalelo xa ingqwalasela yeqabane labo le-narcissistic ilele ekoyiseni abanye.”

10. Umyeni onenkani uyakhuphisana nawe

Ukuba utshatile kumyeni we-narcissist, oku kuya kuvakala kuqhelekile! Ukuhlala utshate neqabane lobomi be-narcissistic kunokuba nzima kakhulu ukuba nobabini nisemsebenzini omnye. Okanye okubi ngakumbi, kwiofisi enye. Ukuziva unomona ngeqabane lakho xa lisenza into obusoloko uzama ukuyenza ixesha elide kunokuba yindalo.

Kodwa ubomi kunye nomyeni we-narcissistic buya kumbandakanya ukuphosa ukulingana rhoqo xa ufezekisa into ethile. Lo mnqweno wokuphumelela ugqatso mhlawumbi uyindawo yosukuzwano emtshatweni wakho; ukuba uyanyuselwa kodwa akakufumani, uThixo akuncede. Usenokude ade asebenzise isikhundla sakhe emsebenzini ukuzama ukonakalisa impumelelo yakho. Usazibuza, ingaba i-narcissist?

11. I-narcissist iloba ngenjongo yokuncoma

Ngelixa ukuzithemba kunokuba yenye yeempawu ze-narcissistic, isikolo seengcinga sicebisa ukuba "babonakala" kuphela ukuba bazithembile. Umzekelo ocacileyo wokuziphatha kwe-narcissistic kubudlelwane ukuba abafumani ngqalelo eyaneleyo, bayayifuna. Kwaye ngokwesiqhelo, basebenzisa abanye abantu-kaninzi abo balulamileyo okanye abathobekileyo-ukubabonelela ngoqinisekiso olufunekayo kwimvakalelo yabo ephakamileyo yokuzixabisa.

A guy narcissist wenza yonke into ngaye kwaye usoloko ejonge ukuzisa incoko kuye ukuze bonwabele spotlight. Kungenxa yoko le nto ungafanele ukondla ii-egos zabo ngendumiso. Ukunqongophala ingqalelo kuya yenza i-narcissist ibe lusizi kwangoko.

12. Ufuna ukuba nelizwi lokugqibela kwingxabano

A umntu ocinga ukuba akanakwenza bubi ubizwa… ngumyeni wakho? I-Narcissistic iqabane lokuthambekela libandakanya ukuba bahlale befuna ukuba negama lokugqibela kuyo nayiphi na ingxabano. Ukulwa yinxalenye yalo lonke ubudlelwane. Kodwa ukuxambulisana nendoda enenkani lilize. Njengoko ethanda isandi selizwi lakhe, akafane akuvumele ukuba ufumane nelizwi. Umlo uba yidabi lokuzicingela kwaye ukusombulula impixano kuyaphuma emfanekisweni. Akunakwenzeka ukumenza aqonde imbono yakho kuba ulwela "ukuphumelela", kungekhona ukusombulula umba.

UJaseena uthi: “Kunzima gqitha ukuhlala nenkazana. Ukuba umyeni wakho uxakeke kakhulu kukuphumelela iingxoxo-ezinkulu nezincinci-yenye yeempawu ezibonisa ukuba ujongene ne-narcissist.

13. Akanabahlobo abaninzi

Ukuba uneqabane le-narcissistic, uya kuqaphela ukuba bangaze benze abahlobo abafanelekileyo. Zibuze enoba umyeni wakho unabo na abahlobo abafanelekileyo. Mhlawumbi akunjalo. Kwaye iziphumo zokutshata nenkazana zikwenza ukuba uphulukane neyakho nawe.

Ama-Narcissists anabantu abaqhelene nabo abanokuthi bahlale kunye nabo okanye abondla i-egos yabo. Yiyo loo nto i-narcissist isokola ngokugcina unxibelelwano ngokuhamba kwexesha. Ekugqibeleni, abantu bayayeka ukubanelisa, ngoko bayadikwa kubudlelwane. Bafuna abantu ukuba babathande, kodwa abanakukwazi ukuthanda abantu emva - ezinjalo ziyimigangatho ephindwe kabini ye-narcissist!

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14. Kulungele ukuphononongwa kakhulu

Ekuqaleni, indlela akwenza ngayo i-nitpick kuwe ingabonakala ngathi uyadlala. Kodwa ukhawuleza uqonde ukuba akunakwenzeka ukuba uthethe nendoda ethandabuzekayo kuba iyahlekisa ngayo yonke into oyithethayo okanye oyenzayo. Kunokuba buhlungu ukuhlala nomntu ocinga ukuba unoburharha obungekho ngqiqweni kodwa, eneneni, usebenzisa uburharha njengesixhobo sokukujongela phantsi kwaye enyanisweni uyinto ehlekisayo. uphawu lobudlelwane obungenampilo.

Umsindo wakhe ufikelela kwizigculelo, kwaye akazi kwaphela ukuba ukwenzakalisa. Xa umntu ehlekisa ngenkangeleko yakho, loo nto ichaphazela ukuzithemba kwakho ngokungathandekiyo. Ngenxa yoko, kuya kusiba nzima ngakumbi ukuphila nomyeni othanda i-narcissistic, ngakumbi xa oku kugculelwa rhoqo kunye nokuthukana kuvela kwindawo yokuzithoba.

15. Uyakukhazimla

Ekubeni ii-narcissists zingamaqili, zisenokusebenzisa zonke iindlela zokuthetha nangokweemvakalelo ukuze uzive ungakhuselekanga, ungazithembi, kwaye ungathandabuzi. I-narcissistic yakho ebalulekileyo iya kuguqulela iitafile kuwe xa uvakalisa iinkxalabo zakho. Uya kukubeka ityala ngengxaki, azenze zingasebenzi iimvakalelo zakho, kwaye adlale ixhoba. Uya kukunika unyango oluthe cwaka ukuba luyafuneka.

UJaseena uthi, “Ukukhanya kwegesi luhlobo oluthile lokuhlasela. amabinzana okukhanyisa igesi njengokuthi, "Oku kwenzeke ngenxa yokuba wenze i-XYZ" okanye "awunamntu unetyala ngaphandle kwakho".

16. Uyasokola ukuzibophelela

Ngaphandle kweempawu zomyeni we-narcissist zakudala, oku kufuneka ukuba uqaphele ngokuqinisekileyo. Ndandisithini ngootsotsi abadikwa ngabantu? Umtshato lelona nqanaba liphezulu lokuzibophelela apho izinto zingasoloko zikhanya ilanga kunye nemvula. Ulwalamano luya kuba namabala arhabaxa, iingxabano, kunye nokwahluka. Ukusebenza ngazo kufuna umonde kunye nonyamezelo - into engekhoyo i-narcissist. Kusenokubakho iimeko zokungathembeki ngokwesondo kunye neemvakalelo ngokunjalo ukuba utshatile narcissist. Umyeni we-narcissistic ukukopela ngokufuthi kuvela kumcimbi wakhe ngokuzibophelela.

17. Akasoze acele uxolo

Ukutshata ne-narcissist kuthetha ukuba ungaze umva ecela uxolo ngezenzo zakhe. Ukuthatha uxanduva akuyiyo i-narcissist eyona suti inamandla. Umtshato uyasokola xa iqabane lingakwazi ukuthwala uxanduva ngezenzo zalo. Ngokungazi, ulonakalisa ngokupheleleyo ulwalamano. Ezo ziphathamandla zezona zinegalelo kwiziphumo ezibi ezibi ze-narcissism kwiqabane. Oku kunokwenza kube nzima kakhulu ukufumana indlela yokuhlala nomyeni we-narcissist.

18. Akayi kumela uqhawulo-mtshato

Nangona iqabane lakho le-narcissistic linengxaki (engayi kuvuma), uya kuphakuzela ukuba uthatha inyathelo lokuqhawula kuye. I-ego yakhe, imfuno yakhe yokubonisa umfanekiso wobomi obunqwenelekayo kwabanye, kunye nokudinga kwakhe umntu wokubambelela kuko konke okunegalelo ekubeni achase ngokukrakra ngcamango yoqhawulo-mtshato. Ukuba uthetha ngeendlela zokwahlukana, uya kuhambisa izulu nomhlaba ukuba akubuyisele. Kwaye uya kuba namava obuchule obunobungozi kunye nobuqhetseba obubizwa ngokuba i-narcissistic hoovering. Le pateni ixhaphake kakhulu kubudlelwane obubandakanya i-narcissist, eyenza kube nzima ukuhlukana nabo.

19. Umyeni onenkani uneego enkulu

Ukuzikhohlisa kwakhe ngobungangamsha kunye nokuzicingela ukubaxiweyo ngokucacileyo kukhokelela kukuzithemba okukhulu. Naliphi na ilinge lokuyigqabhuza liya kudibana nomqolo. Umyeni wakho uqinisekile ukuba uyingcaphephe kwimibandela emininzi. Wazi kakuhle kwaye abantu kufuneka bahlale bethobela iingcebiso zakhe.

Makube lee kuThixo ukuba uzame ukumnika isheke yokwenyani kuba uyakubuya umva ngamandla amakhulu. Xa uhamba ubomi kunye nomyeni narcissistic, mhlawumbi awuzange nakanye wamva evuma ukuba uphosakele okanye wayengazi nto ngento ethile. Engqondweni yakhe, ungoyena mntu ukrelekrele uphila, yaye akukho nto ayithethayo enokuze iphoxeke. Le yeyona nto ichaza iimpawu zomyeni we-narcissist.

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20. Ulwalamano lwakhe belusoloko luneengxaki

Ingcinga ayinakwenzeka kuwe xa wawuqala ukuwela kuye okanye watshata naye, kodwa thatha umzuzwana uhlalutye isizathu sokuba ubudlelwane bakhe bangaphambili buphumelele. Ngaba usoloko egxeka iintombi zakhe zangaphambili kuyo yonke into engahambi kakuhle kubudlelwane bakhe bangaphambili? Ngaba uyaziveza njengexhoba? Xa ujonga umva, ngaba uyambona ukuba usoloko evakala ngathi ushiywe yintliziyo etyumkileyo engenatyala? Ukuba akaze athathe uxanduva ngendima yakhe kubudlelwane, ndiyathemba ukuba uyawubona umzekelo we ukubeka ityala Apha. Enye yezona mpawu zixhaphakileyo zomyeni wenarcissist kukungakwazi kwakhe ukuvuma nokwamkela iimpazamo zakhe.

21. Umntu obhuqayo uyathanda ukucebisa

Olunye uphawu oluqikelelwa lula! Kuba bezicingela kakhulu, ii-narcissists ziyathanda ukuhambisa iingcebiso, ziceliwe okanye zingacelwanga. Iisenti zabo ezimbini zifana needola ezimbini. Ngaba umyeni wakho naye uqalise kwi-monologue malunga nokuba ucinga ntoni? Ukumphazamisa akuncedi; ekuphela kwendlela yokuphuma kukumvumela athethe iqhekeza lakhe ngenxa yoxolo.

Yibize ngokuba yi-mansplaining okanye ukubhibhidla okungapheliyo, iziphumo ziyafana. Kwaye into ephuma kuyo, kwakhona, luluvo olukhulu lokuba ubaluleke kangakanani na. Xa uzama ukujongana nomyeni we-narcissist, kufuneka uqonde ukuba engqondweni yakhe, akukho mntu ubaluleke ngaphezu kwakhe.

Ndijongana Njani Nomyeni WoNarcissistic?

Ukuba umyeni wakho ubonisa ngaphezu kwe-10 yeempawu ze-narcissistic ezikhankanywe ngasentla, kunokwenzeka ngokupheleleyo ukuba une-NPD. Isenokucaphukisa njengoko iintanda zibonakala emtshatweni wakho. Umtshato ngamnye unesabelo sawo semiqobo, kodwa xa uneqabane elithandabuzekayo, imiqobo ingabonakala ingenakoyiswa kwaye izinto ezingathandekiyo zibekwe ngakuwe. Umsebenzi omncinci kuni nobabini unakho ngokuqinisekileyo gcina umtshato. Njengoko uJohn Gottman wathi, "Siphinda into esingayilungisiyo." Ngoko ke, ukuba uhlala uzibuza, "Indlela yokujongana nomyeni ongenangqondo", la macebiso alandelayo anokukunceda ukuba uthathe inyathelo lokuqala ekulungiseni olu lwalamano luneziphene kakhulu:

1. Yenza isigqibo kwaye ujonge izinto ozilindeleyo

I-Introspection linyathelo lokuqala lokufumana indlela yokuphatha umyeni we-narcissist. Ngokukodwa ukuba ujongana nomyeni onxilisayo, kufuneka uqonde ukuba amandla akho anokuxhaphaza, kwaye wenze isigqibo malunga nokushiya okanye ukufumana uncedo olukhawulezileyo, nokuba kungomthetho, iingcali zempilo yengqondo, okanye abahlobo kunye nosapho. Zibuze:

• Bume phi ubudlelwane bakho: ngaba bujike buxhaphaza? Ngaba iyonakalisa impilo yakho yomzimba okanye yengqondo?
• Thatha isigqibo sokuba uyafuna na ukuba kulo ixesha elide. Ngaba kufanelekile?
• Ngaba ungazibophelela ekuzameni ukwenza lo mtshato usebenze?

Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba awukwazi ukulindela ukuchacha ngokumangalisayo kunye nomyeni we-narcissistic. Awunakulindela ukuba angaguqa ngamadolo acele uxolo xa sele umxelele indlela ebekuvise kabuhlungu ngayo. Iyakuba yinkqubo ende, etsala nzima, eza kufuna ukuba ube nomonde kakhulu. I-NPD sisifo sengqondo esingapheliyo, kwaye ukulindela ukuba sinyamalale kuya kubangela intlungu kunye nokudana.

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Ingcebiso ngoBudlelwane-Yonke into ekufuneka uyazi

2. Cinga ngokuchanekileyo

Ngaphambi kokuba uthethe nomyeni onenkani, jonga imeko yakho ngokufanelekileyo. Fundisisa umyeni wakho, thabatha amanqaku apho abonisa khona ezi mpawu zikhankanywe ngasentla, kwaye ufunde ukuhlukana. Wonke umntu uxonxwa ngamava akhe. Qwalasela into eye yachaphazela umyeni wakho ngokunzulu kangaka. Ngaba kukho nakuphi na ukwenzakala okungasonjululwanga? Ngaba wayenayo abazali abayityhefu kunye nobuntwana obuxhaphazayo? Okanye ngaba i-psyche yakhe isiphumo sobudlelwane obubi?

Wakuba ukwazi ukufumana unobangela, uya kukwazi ukumqonda ngakumbi. Lo msebenzi unokunceda ukukhusela amandla akho ngelixa ubambe imeko yakhe ngaxeshanye. Uya kufuna uvelwano oluninzi kulo msebenzi; ukuqonda uhambo lweqabane lakho kuya kuba ngumsebenzi onzima.

3. Thetha ngezinto ezikuxhalabisayo ngempumelelo nangokuphandle

Wakuba wenze i-introspection eyaneleyo, zama ukusebenza kuyo ukuphucula unxibelelwano kubudlelwane bakho. Oku kuyinyaniso nakumtshato owonwabileyo. Xa uzama ukuphatha umyeni we-narcissistic, iba yinto ebaluleke kakhulu ukumxelela yonke into ebikukhathaza. Amathuba kukuba, akayi kuyazi indlela ukuziphatha kwakhe okuchaphazela ngayo, ngoko kukuwe ukuba uqiniseke ukuba uyazi. Indlela yokujongana nomyeni we-narcissist?

• Ncokola incoko ngenjongo yokufumana isicombululo, kungekhona ukufuna umlo
• Zama ukuseka ngoxolo izinto ebezikukhathaza
• Qinisekisa ukuba umenza azive eviwe
• Endaweni yokusebenzisa izitatimenti ezithi “Wena” zama ukusebenzisa “mna” okanye “Thina”. Umzekelo, endaweni yokuthi, “Andisiqondi isizathu sokuba uthethe ngolu hlobo nam”, unokuthi, “Asinabubele omnye komnye, akusenzi nto ilungileyo kuthi xa sithetha ngolu hlobo”

4. Zikhwebule kwiingxabano kunye ne-narcissist

Kunzima, okanye akunakwenzeka, ukuvala umyeni othanda u-narcissistic ngenxa yokuthanda kwakhe ukubaxa izinto. Ukuxambulisana nomyeni we-narcissistic emva koko kuba lilize. Kodwa, ukuthula kungcono kunengxabano ngamanye amaxesha. UJaseena uthi, “Musani ukungxama. Yekani ukutshatisa izithonga zakhe ngenzondelelo efanayo. Nobabini niyahluka kumoya wenu.

Xa uzama ukusinda umyeni narcissist, ukuzibandakanya kuwo wonke umlo echola kuphela uya kukwenza ukuba utshise kwaye uzive udiniwe. Kulungile ukukhetha ukuhamba umlo kuba izinto ezininzi aziyi kufaneleka ukulwa ngazo.

5. Funa uncedo lweengcali

Eyona ndlela isebenzayo yokuphatha umntu omthandayo kukuzifunela iingcebiso. Ungade uzame unyango lwezithandani kunye nengcali yezonyango enelayisensi, okt ukuba iqabane lakho liyavuma. Ekubeni i-NPD iyingxaki yengqondo engapheliyo, ukuxilongwa ngokuchanekileyo yingcali yezempilo yengqondo kunye ne-CBT okanye i-REBT ibalulekile kwiqabane lakho ukuze likwazi ukwenza utshintsho kwindlela aphila ngayo. Kwakhona, oko kukuthi, ukuba uvule kuyo.

Ukucebisa ngobudlelwane kuye kwanceda izibini ezininzi zisebenza kubudlelwane babo obuneengxaki kwaye baphile ubomi obulawulekayo bomtshato owonwabisayo. KwiBonobology, yethu Iphaneli yabacebisi abanamava kunye neengcali zonyango inokukukhokela kweli xesha leziphithiphithi emtshatweni wakho, kwaye ikuncede ufezekise ubudlelwane obungenamvisiswano njengaleyo ubusoloko uyilangazelela.

6. Thatha ixesha lam

Indlela yokujongana neqabane le-narcissist ukuba kungekhona ngokomeleza ubuhlobo bakho nawe? (Icebiso: Leyo ikwasisitshixo kulo naluphi na ulwalamano lothando nomtshato owonwabileyo!) Xa uthandana nendoda ephoxayo, oko kunokubangela ukungazithembi kuba uhlala umenza azive onwabile. Ukujongana ne-antics yakhe engacingeliyo imini nobusuku kuya kufuneka ukuba udinwe. Ukunyamekela impilo-ntle yakho yeemvakalelo, ungalibali ukuzibeka kwindawo yokuqala.

• Chitha ixesha nawe
• Yenza ezinye indawo yam ngokuzikhathalela kunye nokuzonwabisa
• Dibana nabahlobo bakho, obathandayo
• Phumelela umsebenzi wokuzonwabisa
• Zicombulule ngento egqithisileyo
• Jonga impilo yakho yomzimba nengqondo

7. Zimele

Ukuba uye wazibona iimpawu ze-narcissism ngexesha lesigaba sokuthandana kodwa uthatha isigqibo sokutshata naye, kubalulekile ukuzoba imida kwasekuqaleni ukubaleka umjikelo wokuxhatshazwa kwe-narcissistic. Cacisa ngoko kwamkelekileyo noko kungamkelekanga. Umntu othandana naye uyakonwabela ukukuphoxa okanye enze izinto eziya kumbeka ekuhleni.

Musa ukuwa ngenxa yoko. Qhubeka umbiza ngenxa yokuziphatha ngokungenantlonelo kwaye uqinisekise ukuba uyazi ukuba akulungile ukuhamba phezu kwakho. Uxolo lwakho lwengqondo, kunokubonakala kuhenda ukunika amaxesha ambalwa kwaye utyhole - ukuze umlo uphele. Kodwa okukhona usenza oko, kokukhona uya kucinga ukuba kulungile ukuba angakuhloniphi.

Kwimo egqithileyo, ukuhlala ne-narcissism kubudlelwane bothando kunokukhokelela kuxinzelelo okanye ukuzenzakalisa; narcissists bazibekela usukelo oluphezulu kakhulu olungenakufezekiswa, abanakukwazi ukumelana nokungaphumeleli, kwaye bacingela iziqu zabo kakhulu ukuba bacingele iimvakalelo zabanye. Ukuhlala neqabane le-narcissistic ngumngeni, kodwa kungcono ukuba uthatha uxanduva kwimeko. Zabalazela ukuphucula!

FAQs

Ukuqhawula umtshato noMyeni weNarcissist-Okufuneka Uyazi

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I-100 lemibuzo yothando yokubuza intombazana yakho kwaye uyenze inyibilike intliziyo

Umnikelo wakho awuquki isisa umnikelo. Iya kuvumela i-Bonobology ukuba iqhubeke nokukuzisela ulwazi olutsha nolwangoku kwiphulo lethu lokunceda nabani na osehlabathini ukuba afunde ukwenza nantoni na.