Ngaba ujonge ukuqonda indlela yokusombulula ingxabano yezemali emtshatweni? Ukuba kunjalo, ukwindawo efanelekileyo. Imitshato ineengxaki ezininzi ekunzima ukujamelana nazo. Ingaba malunga nokuhlala kwintsapho edibeneyo, isigqibo sokuba nabantwana, ukugcina intlantsi iphila, ukusombulula ingxabano - enye ilungisa zonke ezi ngxaki.
Nangona kunjalo, sihlala sisilela ukuthetha malunga nemiba eyinyani enokuguqula ngokwenene ubomi bakho. Enye yezo lungquzulwano lwemali emtshatweni. Imali iqhuba abantu namhlanje kwaye ikwaqhuba nemitshato. Ukuba umntu akayiqondi eyona ndlela ilungileyo yokusingatha iimali zabo okanye ukunika omnye ukuzimela ngokwezimali, iingxaki ziya kwenzeka. Sikunika ingqiqo malunga nendlela yokusombulula impixano yezemali emtshatweni ukuze ukwazi ukwenza izigqibo ezingcono nezikrelekrele.
Eyona ndlela ilungileyo yokusombulula ingxabano yezemali emtshatweni
Isiqulatho
Ndabuzwa ukuba ndingabhala na izivumelwano zangaphambi komtshato, ezo zinto endingazange ndicinge ngazo ngaphambi komtshato wam. Ndithe ewe kodwa andikwazi ukuthetha nawe ngabo phambi kokuba ndithethe ngeendlela zokuphepha ukungquzulana kwemali emtshatweni.
Kwiminyaka engamashumi amabini anesine eyadlulayo, xa ndanditshata, eyona nto ndandinikel’ ingqalelo kuyo luthando nentembelo endandinayo kumntu endandiza kutshata naye. Sasiphuma sisiya kuqalisa ubomi bethu obutsha, yaye ngoThixo, sasiza kukwenza kakuhle oko! Saba ngabo banethamsanqa!
Ndandingasidingi nesicelo semali mboleko yendlu, awayeze nayo kwaHDFC, ukuze ndikholelwe ukuba ndinomntu okhathalayo, ocinga okulungileyo owayeneminqweno yam – eyethu – eyona nto ilungileyo engqondweni. Oko kwakuyinyaniso ngelo xesha. Impazamo yayikukukholelwa ukuba uya kuqhubeka ehleli enjalo. Akazange.
Bendiya kuqhubeka ukugcina uthando lwam kunye nentembelo. Khange ndi.
Ithemba elingekho ngqiqweni ngekamva
Ndijonga ngapha nangapha kwaye ndiyaqonda namhlanje ukuba andingodwa ngokuba nethemba ngomtshato wam. Kukho icandelo elikufutshane-jikelele phaya ngaphandle elibambe imbono enethemba elingekho ngqiqweni ngekamva lomntu.
Ngokutsho kohlolisiso olwenziwa yiHarvard eUnited States, nangona abo baphendulayo bafumanisa ukuba umlinganiselo welizwe lonke woqhawulo-mtshato wawumalunga nama-50 ekhulwini, babekholelwa ukuba amathuba abo okuqhawula umtshato yayili-11.7 ekhulwini kuphela. Sebenzisa loo nkolelo kwimitshato yalapha eIndiya, cinga ngemitshato ephantse ibe yi-100 ekhulwini ekhoyo kumashumi ambalwa eminyaka eyadlulayo.
Uyayibona into endikhethe ukuyibona phambi komtshato wam? That's so easy to believe ukuba lento kuthiwa yi divorce ayizukwenzeka kuthi. Kwaye kulungile kuba ngelixa izibalo zoqhawulo-mtshato ziphezulu ngosuku ngalunye, liyinyani ukuba imitshato emininzi ayiyi kuba semngciphekweni woqhawulo-mtshato, hayi namhlanje.
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Ungquzulwano lwemali emitshatweni
Ngoko ke masiliyeke elo themba loqhawulo-mtshato ecaleni, kwaye masingancokoli ngama-prenups okwangoku. Makhe sithethe nje ngongquzulwano lomtshato, oluyinyaniso, nesibakala sokuba izibini ezininzi ezitshatileyo zijamelana nengxabano enzulu eshiya amanxeba kuzo. Ungquzulwano lwemali emtshatweni yenye yezinto ezinokuwuqhubela ematyeni umtshato wakho ungakhange uyiqonde.
Asisoloko sibona imitshato efana nokaVanita, apho umyeni wakhe wayenokumnika umvuzo wakhe, ethatha nje i-100 okanye 200 rupees – emva ngeminyaka yee-'70s nangaphezulu – awayeyifuna enyangeni.
Kuyinto engaqhelekanga ngokulinganayo ukubona umtshato ofana noSmita apho umyeni wayejonga isipaji sasekhaya kwi-almirah ngamaxesha athile kwaye ayigcwalise nanini na xa ihla.
Ezi zibini zixubusha ngemibandela yemali zikulungele ukuphulaphula yaye ziphe ngokunyanisekileyo. Basebenza ngengqiqo ekwabelwanayo ngayo uninzi lwethu oluya kunqwenela ukuba nayo malunga nengeniso, iindleko, kunye nokonga.
Eyona nto ixhaphake kakhulu kungquzulwano oluqhubekayo, ngenxa yoko bobabini baziva benesidingo sokugcina izixa ezithile zithe cwaka. Ijika ibe lungquzulwano olukhulu xa imali isiba nzima—amatyala aye afumba, okanye bobabini bengenamsebenzi, okanye bephila ngenkamnkam, njalo njalo—lize elinye iqabane lichithele kubunewunewu okanye kubunewunewu ngemali ethe chatha ukuze kugutyungelwe neentswelo zenyanga.
Ezinye izikhalazo eziqhelekileyo zesibini
Umtshato kunye nemali zihamba kunye kwaye umntu akanako ukuzohlula ezi zimbini. Ungquzulwano lwezemali oluxhaphakileyo endiluvileyo okanye endiye ndanalo zezi:
“Uthenga isari ngaphandle kokujonga ixabiso layo.”
"Uchitha kwizinto ezinamaxabiso aphezulu nto leyo inkcitho yemali."
“Ufuna ukuya kwiholide xa kukho imali yesikolo.”
“Akasiboni isidingo sokutyala imali. Ndingaphelelwa ngumsebenzi nanini na.”
"Walahlekelwa yimali kumacebo amabi."
"Uboleke imali kusapho lwakhe kwaye akukho nanye ebuyileyo."
“Ndinikela kakhulu ekulawuleni ikhaya!
Emva koko kukho imiba stridhan, impahla yomtshakazi. Kunjengokuba uNandini esitsho: “Umyeni wam wawuthengisa umhlaba awayewunikwe ngutata waza wawutyala kwishishini lentsapho elalilawulwa ngubawozala, ukuba wawungathengiswa, wawuphindaphindeka ngexabiso.
Wongezelela ngelithi, “Xa sifuna imali yokuhlawula iindleko ezinkulu zabantwana bethu, siba mfutshane, asikukuba intsapho ayincedi, kodwa kutheni siye sazibeka kwimeko esimele sibuze kuyo?
Indlela yokusombulula ingxabano yezemali emtshatweni?
Xa singayixoxi le miba iphambili phambi komtshato, sinyusa amathuba okungqubana kwezemali emtshatweni. Kangangona sidinga ukudityaniswa kunye nokwabelana emtshatweni, sikwafuna ukuzimela kwethu kwizinto ezibalulekileyo kuthi, ukuxabisa ngokwenene ukulunga komtshato. Inkululeko yezemali kuyimfuneko ukuze bobabini bonwabe emtshatweni.
Akukho nto ibalaselisa isidingo sokudityaniswa kunye nokuzimela emtshatweni ngcono kunendlela isibini esiphatha ngayo imali:
- Iza kutyalwa njani impahla yomtshakazi?
- Kwenzeka ntoni kwingeniso evela kuyo okanye kwingeniso yayo?
- Ingaba impahla yomyeni iqhuba njani ngokuchasene noku?
Le mibuzo ifuna ukuxoxwa ngaxeshanye ekubeni kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukumnika umtshakazi stridhan, elawulwa ngumyeni okanye yintsapho yakhe.
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Imibuzo emayixoxe ngaphambi kokuba niqalise umtshato
Eyona ndlela ingcono yokusombulula impixano yezemali kukuqonda okulungileyo imibuzo yokubuza ngaphambi komtshato kwaye ufumane iimpendulo. Ngokufanelekileyo, bobabini indoda nomfazi kufuneka babe nelizwi elilinganayo kulawulo lwemali nakucwangciso. Xa kufikwa kwii-asethi umtshakazi azifumana ngexesha lomtshato kubazali bakhe, ukuzimela geqe kokulawula kufanele kube kokwakhe.
Ukuba akakwazi ukwenza oko, ufanele ancedwe. Ukuba oko akunakwenzeka, ipropati yakhe kufuneka ingathengiswa, ityalwe okanye iguqulwe ngaphandle kwakhe yenene imvume, imvume apho ngokwenene unokhetho lokuthi 'hayi'.
Ukongeza koku, izibini ezisandul’ ukutshata kufuneka zenze izicwangciso zexesha elifutshane nezexesha elide malunga nokulawula imali, ngokusekelwe koku kulandelayo:
- Uthini umvuzo wosapho – owakhe nowakhe?
- Yiyiphi inxalenye yayo eya kungena kwiindleko zendlu? Oku kuphendula imfuno yokwabelana kunye nokudibanisa emtshatweni.
- Yeyiphi inxalenye yayo eya kubekelwa bucala kwiindleko zeqabane ngalinye? Oku kuphendula imfuneko yokuzimela emtshatweni
- Ziziphi iinjongo zabo zemali?
- Yeyiphi inxalenye yomvuzo eya kungena kugcino? Oku kunika ukuqonda okubanceda basebenzele injongo yemali efanayo
- Kwenzeka ntoni xa omnye - ngokuqhelekileyo umfazi - ethatha ikhefu lokunyamekela abantwana okanye ezinye iimfuno zosapho?
- Kuthekani ukuba ikhefu lihlala lisisigxina?
Ukuxubusha le mibandela kakuhle ngaphambi komtshato nokuqhubeka kuxubusha ngemibandela yemali nanini na imeko ifuna oko kuyanceda ekudaleni imvisiswano yezemali, nto leyo enguthunywashe omkhulu wemvisiswano emtshatweni. Ukunqanda ungquzulwano lwemali emtshatweni, qaphela kwaye ulumkele oko uzifaka kuko. Ungavumeli umsinga ukuse naphi na. Yima phantsi, ubuze imibuzo efanelekileyo kwaye ubambelele kukuzimela kwakho.
FAQs
Eyona ndlela ingcono yokusombulula impixano yezemali kunye nokuzikhusela ngokwasezimalini, kukuqala ngokusayina i-prenup. Ukuchaza izinto onazo kunye nokuchaza amalungelo akho phambi kokuba utshate kwaphela, yeyona ndlela ilungileyo yokuzikhusela.
Iiakhawunti ezinemali yomtshato ngokukhethekileyo zithathwa njengempahla yomtshato yenkosikazi nomyeni. Ngeli xesha, izibini ezineeakhawunti zabo ezahlukeneyo okanye ipropathi banokuyithatha njengempahla yabo yobuqu.
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Umnikelo wakho awuquki isisa umnikelo. Iya kuvumela i-Bonobology ukuba iqhubeke nokukuzisela ulwazi olutsha nolwangoku kwiphulo lethu lokunceda nabani na osehlabathini ukuba afunde ukwenza nantoni na.
Izibini ezitshatileyo ezisilwa ngemibandela yemali yinto eqhelekileyo. Enyanisweni, ungquzulwano lwemali nolwemali luye lwakhankanywa njengenye yezinto eziphambili ezikhokelela kukwahlukana noqhawulo-mtshato.
Kwaye ewe, ndivumelana ngokupheleleyo nomgca: Imali yinto ekumele kuthethwe ngayo ngaphambi komtshato; noko ke, izibini ezininzi ziyasilela ukwenjenjalo. Kodwa kuyimfuneko!
Noko ke, ukoyisa ungquzulwano lwemali emtshatweni wakho akuyondlwan’ iyanetha ukuba ukulungele ukulungisa izinto. Undoqo akukho mfuneko yokwenza imali kunye nokuxhasa ngezimali umxholo wengxabano emtshatweni. Endaweni yoko, thatha uxanduva lwezemali kwaye uqale ukusebenza ekusombululeni lo mba.