Umyeni wam udlamkile yaye enomsindo ngalo lonke ixesha.Umzuzu nje ephuma emnyango, amandla endlu ayashukuma yaye umoya udlamkile.Andiyazi into endinokuyenza ukuze ndincede yena nomtshato wethu kuba kubonakala ngathi undivalele ngaphandle ngokupheleleyo,” wasibhalela uJoanna, efuna ukuqonda eyona ndlela ilungileyo yokuhlangabezana nale meko. Ukuba ukwimeko efanayo, unokuziva udimazekile yaye ungenakuzinceda xa umyeni wakho ekwimeko embi ebonakala ingenakulungiseka.
Xa ukwindawo embi apho umyeni wakho enomsindo kwaye ekude, kunokubonakala ngathi umtshato wakho ufikelele esiphelweni. Nangona kunjalo, imeko isenokungabi mbi njengoko isenokubonakala xa udiniwe kukujongana nomyeni onomsindo, imihla ngemihla. Kwaye uninzi lwezibini ezitshatileyo zidlula kwezi zigaba apho ukucaphuka kunye noburhalarhume bulawula ngamandla abo.
Sonke siyazi ukuba umtshato awuyobhedi yerozi, kwaye ukubuyela ekhaya kwiqabane elicaphukileyo kunokukwenza kube nzima ngakumbi. Ukuba nendoda ekrwada kunokuba ngumsebenzi onzima kwaye awukwazi ukusoloko uyinqwenela imeko yeqabane lakho. Ukuhlala nomyeni odlamkileyo akukho lula. Ngaphezu koko, ukuba umyeni wakho ugxeka, unomsindo, kwaye unomsindo ngalo lonke ixesha, ngoko unokuziva ucinezelekile kwaye ulahlekile. Ke kubalulekile ukwazi ukuba ujongana njani nomyeni okhohlakeleyo ngaphandle kokubeka esichengeni umtshato wakho. Kubalulekile ukuba uqonde unobangela wale ngxaki kuqala uze uyilungise ngengqondo ezinzileyo.
Yintoni eyenza Abayeni babe Cranky?
Isiqulatho
“Umyeni wam usoloko egxeka kwaye andazi nokuba yintoni eza kumbangela.” Ukuba loo mvakalelo onokunxulumana nayo, unokuziva ngathi unjalo ukuhamba kumaqokobhe amaqanda kubudlelwane bakho. Ukungakhululeki kunye noxinzelelo oluxhaphakileyo olubangelwa kukucaphuka komyeni wakho kunokukwenza uzive ucinezelekile.
Xa uhlala neqabane moody kukwenza uzive ngathi utyhalelwa kwikona, kunokuba nzima ukujonga reactions umyeni wakho kunye neempendulo ukusuka kwindawo yemfesane. Nangona kunjalo, kunyanzelekile ukuba wenze njalo kuba ekuqondeni izizathu ezibangela indlela yakhe yokuziphatha kusenokuba yimfihlo yokuchaza indlela yokujongana nomyeni othanda ukumoyika. Nazi izizathu ezinokwenzeka zokuba kutheni umyeni wakho ethanda kwaye ekude:
- Usolusapho ukulungisa: Uluntu loosolusapho esiphila kulo lunyanzela amadoda ukuba aziphathe ngendlela ethile. Umyeni okhohlakeleyo unokuba yimbonakaliso yendlela akhuliswe ngayo. Usenokuba uzama ukuphila ngokuvisisana nemilinganiselo yobudoda ebekwe ngumntu othile aze avakalelwe ngathi uhlala esilela ukwenjenjalo.
- Iimfuno zabantwana ezingafezekanga: Usenokuba nokwenzakala ngokweemvakalelo ngenxa yeentswelo zakhe ezingokweemvakalelo ezingafezekanga njengomntwana. Zonke ezo mvakalelo zicinezelekileyo zinokuphuma ngendlela engafanelekanga, zikushiye uzive ngathi ubambene nomyeni onomsindo.
- Imicimbi yezempilo yengqondo: Ngenxa yemicimbi yakhe yeemvakalelo engasonjululwanga, unokuba ujongana nemicimbi yempilo yengqondo efana noxinzelelo okanye ixhala elimenza abonakale ekude, ebanda, erhoxile okanye ecaphukile okanye ecaphukile.
- Izinto zangaphandle: Ngamanye amaxesha, ukucaphuka kwakhe kunye nokucaphuka kunokuba yimpendulo kwiimeko ajongene nazo. Mhlawumbi, unosuku olubi (okanye iintsuku) okanye unoxinzelelo ngenxa yoxinzelelo lomsebenzi kunye nokunye
- Imiba yobudlelwane obungasonjululwanga: Ukuba uzifumana ucinga, "Umyeni wam usoloko ekwimo embi kunye nam kodwa hayi abanye", kunokunceda ukwazisa kancinci kwaye ubone ukuba kukho nayiphi na imiba engasonjululwanga phakathi kwenu nobabini enokuthi imgxothe kuni kwaye akuphathe ngendelelo kunokuthanda kunye nothando.
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Iindlela ezili-13 zokujongana noMyeni oyiCranky
"Umyeni wam usoloko egxeka." Umyeni wam unomsindo kwaye unomsindo ngalo lonke ixesha. “Ndinomyeni omdala onesithukuthezi. Iingcinga ezinjengalezi zisenokuqalisa ukukucinezela ukuba iqabane lakho ophila kulo liyacaphuka yaye lifutshane kunye nawe, lithabatha nje kancinci izinto, yaye ukuhleka nolonwabo kubonakala ngathi kuphelile emtshatweni wakho. Inokuqala ukuziva ngathi ubambekile kwi umtshato ongenaluthando kungekho themba loxolelaniso.
Nangona kunjalo, umtshato wakho usenokungabi yinto elahlekileyo ebangela ukuba ingqondo yakho ephazamisekileyo ibe yiyo. Nje ukuba uvavanye izizathu ezinokubangela ukuba umyeni wakho aziphathe kakubi, unokuba nombono othile malunga nendlela yokujongana nomyeni onomsindo. Akusekho mfuneko yokuba urhoxe kwilishwa lokuhlala nomyeni omdala onesithukuthezi ungazi ukuba kutheni esoloko eguquguquka, kwaye ekhala, “Umyeni ukwimo embi nam.
Ngoku sele uthathe inyathelo kwicala elichanekileyo, silapha ukukunceda wenze inkqubela kwiinzame zakho zokulungisa le meko. Ukuza kuthi ga ngoku, nazi iindlela ezili-13 ezinokukunceda ujongane nomyeni okhohlakeleyo:
1. Mve phandle
Kulula ukuwela kumgibe wokuzisizela uze uthi, “Ndinendoda endala ekruqulayo yaye ayinamdla kum okanye wokwenza lo mtshato usebenze.” Uthini endaweni yokuba ukhale ngento engasebenziyo emtshatweni wakho, uthatha amanyathelo asebenzayo ukulungisa izinto. Ngenxa yoko, kubalulekile ukuba umamele oko akuthethayo ngaphambi kokuba uwele kumgibe wokwenza umgwebo.
Usenokucaphuka ngenxa yesizathu esinyanisekileyo. Akakwazi ukubonisa umsindo wakhe naphi na kodwa phambi kwakho kwaye ukuba udala udonga ngokunjalo, usenokuba akanandawo yokuya. Vumela umyeni wakho okhohlakeleyo akhuphe kangangoko anako kwaye umamele ngomonde ukuze afumanise ukuba yintoni engalunganga ukuze umncede ajongane nayo ngendlela enempilo. Ukuba ngumphulaphuli olungileyo ibaluleke kakhulu kwimpilo yobudlelwane kwaye inokukunceda ukuba ujongane nemiba yakho ngokusebenzayo ngakumbi.
2. Cela uxolo
Ukuba uzifumana ulahlekelwe lukhokelo kwaye awukwazi ukuzibamba ngalo lonke ixesha, “Umyeni wam udlamkile kwaye unomsindo ngalo lonke ixesha, ndingenza ntoni ukulungisa le meko?”, zama ukucela uxolo olusuk’ entliziyweni ngenxa yokungakwazi ukumnceda xa kukho into atyhubela kuyo ngokucacileyo. Kulungile ukucela uxolo ngamanye amaxesha ukuba yiloo nto efunekayo ukumenza azive ngcono kuba amathuba okuba nje ukuba ucele uxolo, uya kuqonda ukuba yintoni ebimcaphukisa ngokwenene kwaye uya kuvuma oko.
Umyeni wakho onoburhalarhume nonomsindo usenokukhathazwa ngumbandela onzulu anokukutyhilela wona ngokukhawuleza emva kokuba ubonakalise ububele kuye. Ukuba yinto enkulu, unokude aphule. Ukucela uxolo kumntu omthandayo bubuchule bokuqhekeza umkhenkce obungasoze boyisakale ukusebenza nakubuphi na ubudlelwane. Iza kumthomalalisa kwaye akwazi ukucinga kakuhle. Kwakhona uya kukuhlonela ngokucela uxolo ukuze umenze azive ezolile ngoxa yayingelotyala lakho. Yinto oyenzayo ukunqanda abantu ukuba bangabi nomsindo.
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3. Musa ukuziva ukhubekile
Ngoxa kukuhle ukuziva udimazekile ngoko wakuthethayo kuwe xa wayecaphukile, kubalulekile ukuba uzikhumbuze ukuba kusenokwenzeka ukuba ebengazimiselanga kukwenza oko uze uzame ukuba ungakhubeki . Khumbula, ukhohlakele, kwaye unokusebenzisa ukukhalaza kunye nokukhala njengendlela yokukhulula i-pent up yeemvakalelo ezingalunganga. Ukuthetha izinto ezibuhlungu kubudlelwane ngokuqinisekileyo kuyawonakalisa kodwa kuya kuthatha ixesha ngaphambi kokuba abe nokuyilinganisela into ayithethayo.
Kuya kufuneka ujongane naye ngokuzolileyo kwaye uqonde ukuba udlula kwinto ebalulekileyo ekhokelela ekuziphatheni kwakhe okukhawulezileyo. Kulula ukuthetha kunokukwenza kodwa zama kangangoko unako, ukungawathatheli amazwi akhe. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba ugqiba ukuthetha izinto ezibuhlungu ngokwenene ezithetha kakubi, kufuneka udwebe umgca kwaye umazise xa ezolile ukuba akanakukuphatha ngaloo ndlela. Akakwazi akuthathe lula.
4. Qonda unobangela wokuziphatha kwakhe
Ukuba umyeni wakho unomsindo kwaye ukude, kunyanzelekile ukuba uqonde ukuba yintoni ebangela ukuba aziphathe ngale ndlela. Kufuneka kubekho isizathu emva kokuziphatha kwakhe cranky. Isenokuba ngumphathi wakhe emsebenzini, iimvakalelo zakhe ezicinezelekileyo ziphuma, okanye ingxaki enkulu yobomi azigcina kuye. Kuya kufuneka uhlale naye phantsi uthethe naye kwaye umncede adlule kuyo. Unxibelelwano olusebenzayo lunamandla okusombulula neyona ngxaki inkulu.
Inokuba ukhe wambona utata wakhe eziphethe ngolo hlobo kumama wakhe kwaye uye wafaka lo mkhuba womyeni wakhe. Umyeni wakho udlamkile kwaye ukude kuba ebone uyise enjeya kwaye uvakalelwa kukuba le yeyona ndlela ilungileyo. Mvavanye kancinci kwaye ungafikelela emazantsi oku.
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5. Mnike indawo
Indlela yokujongana nomyeni onomsindo? Enye yeendlela ezilula zokujongana nalo mbandela kukuzikhwebula kule meko kangangexesha elithile. Isithuba sisoloko sijongelwa phantsi. Kubudlelwane, ukunika yakho iqabane indawo ethile yobuqu ibanceda basombulule imiba yabo, bajongane nokungakhuseleki kwabo kwaye bacinge ngeengxaki zabo ngokuzimeleyo. Inceda ukukhulisa ubudlelwane kwaye ivumele ukuba ikhule kwaye ichume.
Umyeni wakho onomsindo unokuba ujongene nento enkulu ebomini bakhe kwaye kunokubakho isizathu sokuba angabelani nawe. Isenokubonakala kwindlela aziphatha ngayo ukuba kukho into emkhathazayo kodwa akafuni ukuyivuma kuwe kodwa njengeqabane elimxhasayo, makamnike indawo yakhe de abe sele ekulungele ukwabelana nabanye. Akulunganga ukugqogqa indoda ekrwada okanye uyingcungcuthekise ukuba akakakulungeli.
Endaweni yoko, thatha ikhefu-ngorhatya, usuku, impelaveki- kwaye uzintywilisele kwinto oyonwabelayo nekuzisela uvuyo. Ukuqhubana nendoda ethandabuzekayo kunokukushiya udiniwe. Ke sebenzisa eli xesha ukuze uzizalise ngelixa unika umyeni wakho indawo yokusebenzela kunxunguphalo lwakhe lweemvakalelo.
6. Mphathe ngenyameko nangothando
Sonke sidinga intwana yothando nokuqonda xa sihamba kwinto ethile. Kuyafana ngamadoda nangona, amaxesha amaninzi asenokungayithethi, qiniseka ukuba alangazelela uthando nenkathalo kanye njengokuba umntu olandelayo. Njengomfazi, kusenokuba nzima kuwe ukuqhubana nomyeni okanye umyeni okhohlakeleyo osoloko ekwimeko embi kodwa uzame kangangoko ukusebenzisana naye ngothando.
Ukwenza ezimbalwa intshukumo encinci yothando kuye inokuba yiyo yonke into oyidingayo ukuze utsale nzima kubudlelwane bakho. Ngamanye amaxesha, uthando lunokuba lelona krele lilungileyo lokuphumelela amadabi. Sinokuqonda ukuba ukuthandana okanye ukuthandana kusenokungabi yeyona nto ilula xa umyeni wakho enomsindo kwaye ekude kodwa kufuneka uzame.
Xa ekhathazekile, ungaya kuye, umphuze ebunzi kwaye umqinisekise ukuba kungakhathaliseki ukuba yintoni na, konke kuya kulunga ekugqibeleni. Izinto ezincinci zihamba umgama omde. Ukuba unomyeni ogxekayo, uthando lwakho lunokumoyisa. Kwaye akukho mfuneko yokuba uzilungiselele ngenxa yokwazi isizathu sokuba umyeni wakho akhathazeke, kufuneka nje umxelele ukuba ukhona.
7. Sebenzisa uburharha bakho ngokufanelekileyo
Njengoko besitsho, izibini ezihleka kunye, hlalani kunye. Ukuba uthando alusebenzi, ke uburharha bunokuba luncedo. Ngokukodwa, uyisebenzise ngokufanelekileyo. Khumbula, likrele elintlangothi-mbini. Isenokumenza aphele yintsini aze alibale ukuba yintoni ebimkhathaza okanye imkhubekise ngakumbi. Xa enomsindo, isiqhulo esingephi malunga nento sisenokwenza lula isimo sengqondo logama nje singakhubekisi nangayiphi na indlela.
Khumbula ukuba kukho umgca phakathi koburharha kunye nokuphoxa. Sukuthatha i-potshots kuye okanye wenze amazwi ahlekisayo egameni loburharha kwaye ulindele ukuba afudumale kuwe. Ukuba usebenzisa uburharha kunye neziqhulo njengendlela yokukhulula inzondo yakho kuye nakwimeko yomtshato wakho, kukho ithuba elihle lokuba unokumlahla ngakumbi umyeni wakho ocaphukayo.
8.Vumelana naye okwangoku
Ukuqhubana nomyeni odlamkileyo kuquka ukuba nolungelelwano phakathi kokwazi ukuba uzimisele nini ukuma naxa uvumela izinto ezimbalwa zityibilike. Ngomdla wokwenza olu lungelelwano, usenokucinga ngokuvumelana nembono yakhe kwimiba emkhathazayo. Usenokungafuni kuba awungomtyholi kodwa xa ebila ngumsindo, kuhle ukuba uvumelane naye okwangoku endaweni yokuba umcaphukise nangakumbi. Okanye ungakhetha ukuhlala ungathathi hlangothi kwaye umva nje ngaphandle kokungavumelani.
Lonto ayithethi ukuba unyanisile kanti wena awulunganga. Kuthetha nje ukuba uxabisa ubudlelwane kunye nempilo yakhe yengqondo ngaphezu kokuba uxabisa ukuphumelela ingxabano. Yiba ngumntu oqolileyo kwaye ngokulula unqwale intloko. Ungasoloko ubuyela kuye xa ezolile kwaye umenze ayiqonde imbono yakho.
9. Qhubeka umkhumbuza ukuba ubalulekile kuwe
Umntu odiniweyo kukusingatha into yedwa ngokuqinisekileyo uya kucaphuka aze abe nomsindo. Uza kuba snappy ngalo lonke ixesha. Asikukhuthazi ukuziphatha kweqabane lakho eliziphethe kakubi, kodwa sikunika nje enye imbono malunga nale meko: ukungabi namonde nokucaphuka yintshukumo yendalo xa umntu eziva esonganyelwe yimeko akuyo.
Ekusebenzisaneni nomyeni onomsindo, uvelwano novelwano ngabahlobo bakho abasenyongweni. Kufuneka uzame ukuzifaka ezihlangwini zakhe ukuze uqonde ukuba kutheni esenokuba uziphatha ngale ndlela aziphatha ngayo. Kwaye umnike uthando alunqwenelayo, ngaphakathi. Hlala uxelela umyeni wakho we-cranky, ukuba kungakhathaliseki ukuba yintoni na, uhlala ehlala kwaye uya kuhlala engoyena mntu ubalulekileyo ebomini bakho. Mkhumbuze ngaloo nto kwaye ngokuthe ngcembe uya kuyeka ukuwubhekisa kuwe umsindo wakhe. Qinisekisa, bonisa uthando kwaye ube nobubele ngamaxesha onke.
10 Musa ukwenza ukukrokra kwakhe kube yingxabano;
Abantu esibathandayo bafumana okona kulungileyo kuthi nokona kubi kuthi. Ukuba umyeni wakho unomsindo kwaye unomsindo ngalo lonke ixesha, ke amathuba okuba licala lakhe akubonisa lona. Ngokuqhelekileyo, xa abantu becaphukela amalungu entsapho yabo, kungenxa yokuba abanakuqumbela omnye umntu. Baye bakhathazeke kwaye baqale ukukhwaza wonke umntu nayo yonke into ngokungenangqondo. Liyinene elithi nawe ungahle ukhathazeke kwaye ekupheleni kosuku, ukuza ekhaya kumyeni onesithukuthezi asiyonto umntu aphupha ngayo. Kodwa zama ukuba ungaziphindezeli.
Kujonge oku ngendlela ecacileyo ngaphandle kokuvumela umoya womyeni wakho okruqulayo ukuba utshintshe kuwe. Zama ukungenzi ukuziphatha kwakhe kube yimbangela yengxabano yakho elandelayo kungenjalo, nobabini niya kuxinga kumgibe wokuphoxeka. Ngamaxesha athile, ukuba nomtshato ophilileyo, kufuneka uhlale uzolile kwanokuba asiyonto yokuqala ethi qatha engqondweni yakho.
11. Cinga ngezikhalazo zakhe
Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba uyazibuza, "Umyeni wam usoloko ekwimeko embi kunye nam", okanye "Kutheni umyeni wam enomsindo kwaye ekude?", okanye "Kutheni umyeni wam enomsindo kwaye enomsindo kwaye ehlala ekhalaza ngalo lonke ixesha?", kungathatha umzuzwana ukucamngca ngezikhalazo zakhe kwaye ubone ukuba kukho nayiphi na imfanelo kubo.
Usenokukhalaza imini yonke ngayo yonke into kwaye uninzi lwayo lusenokubonakala ngathi lugqabhuko-dubulo olungenamsebenzi kodwa ungalugxothi, uzixelele ukuba, “Ndinomyeni omdala onesithukuthezi ohlala ekhalazela yonke into encinane.” Nika ingqalelo kwaye ezi zinokutyhila umba onzulu kwaye zikuncede uqonde eyona nto imkhathazayo.
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12. Mxelele xa enyanisile
Indlela yokujongana nomyeni onomsindo? Yenzani umzamo wokwahlukana nalo mkhwa wokuxambulisana, ukuxambulisana, ukuxhwithana omnye komnye, kwaye ukubeka ityala ukuphuma ekuphenduleni ngezenzo zakho. Eyona ndlela ilula yokwenza oko kukumncoma noxabiso.
Ukuba ucinga ukuba ezinye zezinto azithethayo zichanile, zivume. Akukho nto iya komeleza ukuzithemba kwakhe ngaphezu koko. Into yokuba uyamxhasa iya kuthetha lukhulu kuye kweli xesha linzima ebomini bakhe. Nangona kunjalo, kufuneka uqinisekise ukuba awuvumelani nezinto ozaziyo ukuba azilunganga ngokuqinisekileyo. Loo nto imbi kuwe nakuye ekuhambeni kwexesha.
13. Yenza izinto ezimvuyisayo
Ngamanye amaxesha, xa kungekho enye into esebenzayo, zizinto ezincinci ezinokwenza impembelelo enkulu. Mphekele isidlo sakhe asithandayo kwaye uphumelele intliziyo yakhe ngokutya okanye ubukele nje umdlalo webhola ekhatywayo kunye naye ngepopcorn ukuze ukhanyise i-vibe emtshatweni wakho. Yenza ubusuku bomhla kuyo kwaye usebenzise eli thuba ukunxibelelana naye kwakhona.
Ukuba umenzela ezi zinto, uya kuqonda ukuba uhleli naye, awumchasanga kwaye oko kuya kwenza kube lula ukuba ahlangabezane neengxaki zakhe kwaye ubuhlobo bakho naye buya kukhula. Ukujongana nomyeni okhohlakeleyo akusiyo iqhekeza lekeyiki. Ifuna imfumba yomonde kwaye awushiyi ilitye elingaguqukiyo ukuze umbuyisele endleleni. Ngeli xesha, kubalulekile ukuba uqinisekise ukuba impilo yakho yengqondo ayichaphazeleki.
Ukuba ucinga ukuba umyeni wakho unesimo sengqondo se-snappy esingekho ngenxa yesizathu esisisiseko kwaye uzame yonke into encwadini, akufanele uhlupheke ngaphandle kwesizathu. Ukuba ayinyamezeleki okanye ithatha ibeka ebomini bakho, ungaya kumcebisi ngomtshato kwaye ufune uncedo. Ukuba ufuna uncedo, abacebisi abanamava kunye nezakhono kwi I-Bonobology's paNel zilapha ngenxa yakho.
Izinto ezili-12 omawuzenze xa uMyeni wakho ekhetha usapho lwakhe phezu kwakho
Izinto ezili-12 zokuzenza xa uMyeni engathandi okanye engathandi
Umnikelo wakho awuquki isisa umnikelo. Iya kuvumela i-Bonobology ukuba iqhubeke nokukuzisela ulwazi olutsha nolwangoku kwiphulo lethu lokunceda nabani na osehlabathini ukuba afunde ukwenza nantoni na.
Soloko ucela uxolo???? Ingaba uyadlala???