Iindlela ezili-13 ezintle zokuthandana nawe

Ngelixa ndidlala 'iNyaniso okanye i-Dare' nabahlobo bam, ndiye ndanobuganga bokutyhila imbali yam yokukhangela. Abahlobo bam bothuka kukufumana amagama athi 'Indlela yokuthandana nawe' kwimbali yam yokukhangela. Ngokuqinisekileyo, lawo yayingamazwi okugqibela ababelindele ukuwafumana.

Emva kobhubhane, abahlobo bam babenethemba elikhulu ngobomi bam bokuthandana. Emva kokugqiba isidanga sam seMasters ndaza ndafumana umsebenzi ophucukileyo, baba nethemba lokuba ekugqibeleni ngendandiyivulile intliziyo yam kwingcamango yokuthandana.

Noko ke, ndandinezicwangciso ezahlukeneyo ngobomi bam. Ukususela ngonaphakade, ndandibukele izibini ezonwabileyo zisithi ziyathandana yaye zinyamekelana. Xa uthandana nomntu, udla ngokubaphatha kakuhle kwaye ubeke phambili iimfuno zabo kunye nolonwabo. Kwaye ndandifuna ukwenza okufanayo, KODWA kum.

Kuthetha ukuthini Ukuthandana Nawe

Ungandivi kakubi, okanye ucinge ukuba ndiyazingca. Kodwa nokuba ukubudlelwane okanye akunjalo, ukuzithanda kwaye uziphethe ngendlela efanayo onokuthi uthande okanye uphathe ngayo enye into ebalulekileyo ibisoloko ibalulekile kum. Ngokutsho kwam, ukuzikhathalela kunye nokubeka phambili iimfuno zakho akunakukwenza wonwabe kuphela, kodwa kuya kukunceda ukuba uziqonde ngcono.

Ukuzithanda sisiseko sokwenza ubudlelwane obunempilo kunye nawe. Kanye njengokuba uthandana nabanye abantu ukuba bagwebe ukuba bafanelekile kuwe, uthandana nawe. Umahluko kuphela kukuba kungakhathaliseki ukuba umhla wakho uhamba njani, kufuneka uzibophelele kobu budlelwane ubomi bonke.

Indlela yokuthandana nawe-Iindlela ezili-13 ezintle

Ngelixa ungena kubudlelwane, ukungaziqapheli ngokwakho kunokudala isiphumo esibuhlungu. Inokuchaphazela iqabane lakho kunye nobudlelwane bakho kunye nabo. Ngoko, ukuzithanda kuninzi malunga nabanye ebomini bakho njengoko kunjalo ngawe. Ngoko ke, ukwenza ihlabathi libe yindawo engcono kwaye ukwazisa kuni nonke a-entsha, Ndilapha kunye noluhlu 'indlela ukuthandana ngokwakho izimvo' endiyifumene luncedo ngelixa ukuthandana ngokwam unyaka. Ke masiqalise olu hambo lunomdla lwendlela yokuthandana nawe kwaye uthandane nawe - kunye nawe omtsha!

1. Zibeke kwindawo yokuqala

Kuyinyani ukuba ulonwabo lwakho luthatha indawo esemva xa uhlala useka izigqibo zakho kwinto ocinga ukuba ufanele ukuyenza endaweni yale nto ufuna ukuyenza. Ukubanjwa kwingxelo yobuxoki echazwe kuwe ngamajelo eendaba aqhelekileyo kunye noluntu akunakulimaza kuphela ubudlelwane bakho, kodwa kunokuthatha yingozi kwimpilo yakho yengqondo.

Ngoko ke, inyathelo lokuqala ukufunda indlela ukuthandana ngokwakho kwaye ukuthandana kukubeka phambili iimfuno zakho. Ukuthatha ixesha lokunandipha ngoku ngaphandle kokucinga malunga noko kulindeleke kuwe kunokuba sisiqalo esihle. Ngaphandle kokuziva unetyala lokuyekelela kakhulu okanye ukuzingca, kufuneka ubange ukuzola kwakho kwaye wenze ixesha lakho kuphela.

Eli 'xesha lexesha' linokuzulazula ebhedini yakho kwaye ubukele imuvi, uthathe uhambo olude ehlathini, okanye uqhube ibhafu elide ngesantya sakho. Nantoni na iyasebenza, kangangoko itholisa ingqondo yakho.

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2. Yakha indlela yokuzinyamekela

Ukuba ubucinga ukuba ubhubhane unokuyonakalisa yonke indlela yakho yokuthandana nemibono, ke kufuneka ndikulungise, mhlobo wam. Ngubani na ukwazi bhetele kunawe? Ngoko kutheni ungaziniki ixesha lokuzibeka kwindawo yokuqala? Nantsi indlela yokuthandana nawe ngexesha lokuvalelwa.

Ukuzikhathalela konke kukuzondla wena kunye nemikhwa yakho yemihla ngemihla, impilo kunye nokuba sempilweni. Nangona kunokufuna inzame eyongezelelweyo kwicala lakho, olu qheliselo lunokukunceda uqonde 'umhla ngokwakho' othetha ngcono kakhulu.

Ukuzinyamekela kuthetha ukumamela umzimba wakho ngokwenene kwaye uthathe ixesha lokuzihlola kunye neemfuno zakho. Kungaphezulu kokukhathalela isiqu sakho ngokwasenyameni. Amasiko okuzikhathalela ngowona mba ubaluleke kakhulu wendlela yokuthandana kwaye uthandane nengqondo, umzimba kunye nomoya wakho.

Ukutya nje okunempilo, ukuthatha ixesha lokuzilolonga kunye nokuphuma kwezo vithamini akwanele. Kweli hlabathi lihamba ngokukhawuleza, ukunqumama ukuze ujonge zonke izinto ezimangalisayo ezikungqongileyo yinxalenye yokuzinyamekela. Inkqubo emangalisayo yokuzikhathalela inokukufundisa indlela yokuzithanda kwaye uvule indlela eya kwezinye iindlela ezintsha zothando ebomini bakho.

3. Ziqinisekise ngeemfuno zakho

Ukuqiniseka ngeemfuno zakho kuthetha ukunxibelelana neemfuno zakho, iimvakalelo, iinkolelo kunye nezimvo ngokuvakalayo. Ukuzithetha okunamandla kunokukunceda ugcine iimvakalelo zakho zijonge ngelixa kukunceda uphuhlise ubudlelwane obuhle nawe.

Nangona kunjalo, ukuba, njengomnye wabahlobo bam, uyazibuza malunga nendlela yokuthandana nawe emva kokwahlukana, ke ndinengcebiso enkulu kuwe. Eyona ndlela ilungileyo yokufunda indlela yokuthandana nawe emva kokwahlukana kukuthandana nawe ngelixa kubudlelwane. Ewe! Yinyani leyo.

Ukuba unokuthandana nawe ngelixa uthandana, awusoze uxhomekeke komnye umntu ngolonwabo lwakho. Ukuthatha ulawulo lolonwabo lwakho yeyona nto inamandla anokuyenza nabani na. Kwaye ukuqiniseka kwaye uphaphile ngeemfuno zakho yeyona ndlela ilungileyo yokulawula ulonwabo lwakho.

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4. Zikhuphe

Akukho nto isondela kwintsingiselo 'yomhla ngokwakho' kunokuba uzithathele ngokoqobo ngomhla. Kutheni ulinda malunga nomntu ukuba akukhuphe ngomhla wamaphupha akho xa ukwazi ngokugqibeleleyo ukwenza oko ngokwakho?

Umhla olungileyo we-solo akufanele ube yinto emfutshane yokuzonwabisa, ukuphumla, ukuzonwabisa kunye nomlingo. Ngamafutshane, ifanele ukuba INGQINAKILE kwi-T! Kwaye eyona nxalenye ilungileyo kukuba inokuba bhetyebhetye njengoko ufuna ibe njalo. Ewe, zikho ngokuqinisekileyo iingenelo ezoyikekayo yokuba ungatshatanga, ngakumbi ngomhla onje.

Unokukhetha ukunxiba okanye mhlawumbi hayi. Unokwenza naluphi na utshintsho lomzuzu wokugqibela okanye ulahle ixhala lokufika ngexesha ngokupheleleyo. Yonke into ixhomekeke kuwe ngokupheleleyo!

Nangona kunjalo, kungakhathaliseki ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokuba wenze ntoni ngomhla wakho okhethekileyo, kukho imigaqo embalwa engafanele yaphulwe. Okokuqala, awunalo ilungelo isithuba ngaphandle okanye ukucinga ngomnye umntu ngoxa wena ngomhla wakho okhethekileyo. Yiba khona ngalo mzuzu kwaye uzinike lonke uhoyo olufaneleyo.

Okulandelayo, musa ukuza endleleni yolonwabo lwakho ngokusoloko uzigweba okanye uzigweba ngezenzo zakho. Ungazibethi ngokucinga ukuba ibingumbono ombi njengoko abantu bekujongile bekugweba. Kuba ndithembe, kukuzibamba kwakho kukuthetha nje.

Kwaye okokugqibela, ungalibali ukuphumla kwaye ube nexesha elilungileyo lobomi bakho. Nokuba uyaphuma uye kwisidlo sangokuhlwa, bukela imuvi kwibhedi yakho okanye kwindawo yemidlalo yeqonga, zipholele nje elunxwemeni, okanye uthathe isigqibo sokuthatha uhambo olude. Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukwenza wonwabe. Kwaye ewe, ndiyabulela kamva ngokukufundisa indlela yokuthandana kwaye uthandane nomntu omangalisayo.

5. Thatha isakhono esitsha ukuze ucele umngeni ngokwakho

Umngeni kunye notshintsho ngabona bahlobo balungileyo. Kwaye yintoni engcono kunokuba ucele umngeni ukuba utshintshe ubomi bakho bubengcono? Ngokuthatha imiceli mngeni emitsha, unokufezekisa ngakumbi iinjongo zakho, ube nobudlelwane obungcono kwaye wandise ulonwabo lwakho.

Ngoko, ulindele ntoni? Thatha ezo zifundo ze-salsa ubusoloko ufuna ukuzizama. Okanye ubhukishe ezo klasi zomdongwe ubuzibuza ngazo. Ukuzibandakanya kwisakhono esitsha kunokusebenzela imimangaliso ebomini bakho kunye nendlela ozibona ngayo izinto kunye nabantu abakungqongileyo.

Izakhono okanye imingeni akufuneki ibe yinto enkulu okanye enzima. Kungalula njengokuzinyanzela ukuba uvuke kwiyure engaphambili, uphume efowunini rhoqo, okanye ufunde ngakumbi ngabantu ochitha ixesha elininzi nabo. Ngethuba nje unokuziva ukukhula kwakho kunye nemvakalelo yokuvuselela, kulungile ukuhamba.

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6. Funda izinto ozithandayo nezingazithandiyo

Ezi indlela yokuthandana ngokwakho izimvo zigxile ekusondezeni kuwe kufutshane nawe. Xa bendikhangela amagama athi 'date yourself meaning' kwi-intanethi, uninzi lwawo lugxile ekufumaneni imeko yolonwabo. "Kodwa zingasebenza njani ezi mbono zisebenza ukuba andiyazi into endenza ndonwabe", ndazibuza.

Ukwazi izinto ozithandayo nezingathandiyo kunokutshintsha indlela olubona ngayo ulonwabo. Emva kokuba ndithandana naye unyaka, ndinokuthi ngokukhuselekileyo ndazi ngakumbi malunga nam ngoku kunokuba ndandinayo ngaphambili.

Eyona ndlela ilungileyo yokufumanisa malunga nezinto ozithandayo nezingathandiyo kukugxila kwindlela ozazisa ngayo kwabanye. Rhoqo, oku kukunceda ukuba uqonde ukuba zeziphi iinkalo zobomi bakho ezikwenza uzive unebhongo okanye wonwabile kwaye yintoni engonwabanga. Ukuba uzifumana ekukhangeleni iqabane elifanelekileyo kwakhona kwaye kwakhona, ngoko ukufunda izinto ozithandayo nezingazithandiyo kunokophula loo mzekelo ubuhlungu.

Enye indlela yokuqokelela ulwazi oluthe kratya ngawe inokuba yijenali. Ukudlulisela zonke iimvakalelo zakho kumagama kunokukunceda ukuba wazi ngakumbi iimvakalelo zakho. Oku kuya kukuxelela ngakumbi malunga nokuba yintoni ekwenza uzive ulungile kwaye yintoni engathandekiyo.

Ukuthatha uvavanyo lobuntu, ukuhlalutya amandla akho kunye nobuthathaka bakho, ukuphuma kwindawo yakho yokuthuthuzela, okanye ukukhetha unyango kunokuba ziindlela ezimangalisayo zokwazi ngakumbi ngawe.

7. Hamba uhambo lwedwa

Nantsi enye inyani kuwe. Kunzima ukujola nawe xa ukwi relationship njengokuba kunjalo emva kokwahlukana. Uninzi lwabantu luyazibuza ukuba ungathandana njani emva kokwahlukana ngelixa ulibala ngokupheleleyo ukuba uthandana nawe ngelixa kubudlelwane kunzima kakhulu.

Kubudlelwane, ubukho obuhlala buhleli beqabane, besazi okanye bengazi buchaphazela izigqibo zakho kunye nendlela olibona ngayo ilizwe. Uxakeke kakhulu neqabane lakho kangangokuba ngamanye amaxesha ulibale ukuba ungene kunye nawe.

Nokuba ubunjani ubume bakho bobudlelwane, ukuphuma uhambe wedwa kunokukunceda uphinde uqhagamshelane nawe. Ngokuxhomekeke kuhlahlo lwabiwo-mali lwakho, unokukhetha indawo engaqhelekanga okanye indawo enkulu yokubaleka ngaphandle kwesixeko. Ngethuba nje uvunyelwe ukuba uchithe ixesha elithile ngeengcinga zakho, indawo ayikho ingxaki.

Gcina nje amanqaku ambalwa abalulekileyo engqondweni ukuze uhambe ngokukhuselekileyo kwaye ulungile ukuhamba! Yenza umsebenzi wakho wesikolo owenzelwa ekhaya kwangethuba kwaye ugcine isicwangciso esineenkcukacha zohambo lulungile. Khetha indawo yokuhlala efanelekileyo kwaye ungalibali ukubonisa ukuzithemba.

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8. Yiba ngumkhenkethi kwidolophu yakho

Ngamanye amaxesha ukutshintsha i-lens obona ngayo ihlabathi elikungqongileyo kunokusebenza imimangaliso. Ngokujonga imbono yakho, eyona nto iqhelekileyo kunye nemisebenzi yemihla ngemihla kunye neendawo zinokuqala ukubonakala zingaqhelekanga. Kwaye ukubona isixeko sakho ngokusebenzisa iiglasi zelanga ezikhenkethayo kunokuba yindlela entle yokufumanisa ngakumbi malunga nokukungqongileyo kwaye, kwinkqubo, mhlawumbi nesiqu sakho.

Olu hlahlo-lwabiwo mali lusezantsi njani ukuthandana ngokwakho ingcamango itshintsha inkcazo 'yokuhlala' kwaye ikusondeze kumntu omele umthande kakhulu. Kwaye inyathelo lokuqala lokuhlola le dolophu/isixeko 'esitsha' siphuma endlwini yakho sisiya kwimotele okanye ihotele.

Okulandelayo, fumana umhlobo ongathanda ukukubonisa ujikeleze isixeko njengesikhokelo sasekhaya. Okanye ukuba uziva ugqithisile, qesha umkhokeli wabakhenkethi wokwenyani! Awusoze wazi ukuba zeziphi iindawo ezintsha onokuzifumana uzifumene. Kwaye ewe, ungalibali ukuthatha imifanekiso yetshizi yakho phambi kwezo ndawo zabakhenkethi.

Eyona ndlela ilungileyo yokuphelisa uhambo lwakho inokuba kukutya kwindawo yokutyela ekhenketha kakhulu edolophini kwaye mhlawumbi ukuxubana nabanye abakhenkethi kwaye uve konke malunga nohambo lwabo. Ungalibali ukuntywila kubomi basebusuku obubonelelwa sisixeko sakho ngelixa usamkela imvakalelo yokuba ngumntu wasemzini kwidolophu yakho. Umhlaba kufuneka ujonge kuwe kwaye uhambe 'Heyi! Akazisoli ngokuba engatshatanga kule dolophu intle!'

9. Nxiba ngaphandle kwesizathu

Omnye wabahlobo bam wandibuza, “Ngaba ungandicacisela oku kuthetha ukuthi ‘ukwenza amadinga’? Kwaye impendulo yam kuloo nto yaba kukuba uyeke ukuthembela kwabanye ngolonwabo lwakho. Amaxesha amaninzi, iilokhwe esizinxibayo, izihlangu esizinxibayo, okanye izinto esiziphetheyo zixhomekeke kwindlela abanye abaza kusijonga ngayo. Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha kumnandi ukuyiyeka imvakalelo yokuba unyanzelekile ngokwentlalo ukuba wenze okuthile.

Ukunxiba ngaphandle kwesizathu yindlela enamandla yokubuyisela ulonwabo lwakho. Le yindlela yokuthandana nombono wam iphezulu yam 'indlela yokuthandana nawe ngexesha lokuvalelwa'. Indlela onxiba ngayo, ihambelana ngqo nokuzithemba kwakho. Ukuba ukhangeleka kakuhle, uziva ulungile kwaye ukuba awukhangeleki kakuhle uziva kakubi. Ilula ngolo hlobo.

Ukuhlala ubambekile kwimpahla efanayo ekruqulayo okanye iipajama zakho ezincinci ezitofotofo ziya kukugcina ubambekile kumtya ofanayo. Nangona kunjalo, ukunxiba ngokwakho, ukuze uzibone kwaye uncume esipilini kunokukutyhalela kwimeko entle kunye neemvakalelo zokulindela okuhle imini yonke.

Kwaye le ithiyori iyasebenza nakubahlobo bakho. Ukubeka iseti etofotofo yelingerie evuselelayo kunokukunceda uzive unenkanuko, womelele kwaye uzithembe ngakumbi. Kaloku njengokuba umntu ebetshilo, ubuhle kuxa ingaphakathi lihle njengangaphandle.

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10. Danisa intliziyo yakho

Kuzo zonke iindlela zokuthandana ngokwakho imibono phaya, le yeyona nto iyonwabisayo. Ukudanisa yeyona ndlela imnandi yokubonakalisa uvuyo. Xa ukhulula kwaye ubhiyozela ubomi, unokuziva ulonwabo luphuma emithanjeni yakho. Sisixhobo esikhulu sokuzinyamekela esinokuphinda kabini njengokuzilolonga kunye ne-stress buster ngexesha elinye.

Nokuba ucinga ukuba uyinkosi kobu bugcisa okanye umntu oneenyawo ezimbini zasekhohlo, wonke umntu ungumzimba womdaniso ukuba uzimisele ukuwususa nje! Vala ucango lwakho ukuba kukho imfuneko kwaye udanise ngokungathi akukho mntu ukujongileyo, kuba akukho mntu ubukeleyo. Vumela amahomoni avuyayo akuzalise ngelixa upompa ngovuyo kunye namandla.

Unokwenza uluhlu lokudlala okanye ukhuphele ingoma engaqhelekanga kwiTV yakho okanye kunomathotholo. Unganyusa ivolyum yesitiriyo sakho okanye ufake iiplagi ezindlebeni. Umgaqo kuphela apha kukudanisa intliziyo yakho! Kwaye ngokunyanisekileyo, yeyiphi indlela engcono yokuthandana nawe kwaye uthandane ngaphezu komhla womdaniso?

11. Ziphekele

Emva kokuba ndithandana ngokwam unyaka, le yeyona ndlela ilungileyo yokuthandana noluvo endinokuthi ndikwazise ngalo. Ndiqinisekile ukuba abaninzi benu baya kuvuma ukuba ukutya kunye nothando zihamba kunye. Ukutya okumnandi luthando kanti uthando olulungileyo luvakala ngathi umntu ubeke ibuffet yokutya okumnandi kuwe kuphela. Ewe, nangona iimvakalelo zimbini zinokuthelekiswa, iresiphi yazo zombini yahlukile.

Ukupheka kunokubonwa njengenye yeendlela ezisisiseko zokuchaphazela impilo yakho yomzimba nengqondo. Kunokuthiwa umkhwa wokupheka unokukondla kuwo onke amanqanaba. Kwaye ngenxa yakho eyona nto ibalulekileyo kubudlelwane bakho nawe, kubalulekile ukuyikhulisa. Ukususa ingqondo yakho kwisiphithiphithi semihla ngemihla kwaye uzijikeleze ngamavumba amnandi kunye nokutya okusanda kwenziwa kunokukunceda ufumane ukuzola kwakho.

Ukuze wenze ukupheka kube yinxalenye yobomi bakho, kufuneka ukwenze kube mnandi. Qala ngokupheka izinto othanda ukuzitya kwaye kulula ukuzilungiselela. Akuyomfuneko ukuba ube yincutshe ekuphekeni okanye ube nenjongo yokukusukela 'njengomsebenzi wakho wokuzonwabisa.' Ukwenza nje into esempilweni kwaye enencasa kube kanye kuwe kunokukunceda ukuba uqhagamshelane nawe ngcono.

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12. Ziphe isipho

Thatha umoya onzulu kwaye ucinge ukuba umhla wakho ufumana isipho kuwe. Isipho sigqibelele! Ubusoloko ufuna ukuba nayo kwaye ngoku awunakukholelwa ukuba ilapha, isongelwe kakuhle, yenzelwe wena kuphela! Kodwa linda. Ubungenokwazi ukuzithengela lonto?

Ezi njani umhla ngokwakho izimvo bekuya kuba engaphelelanga ngaphandle kukhankanywa isipho. Akukho nto ichaza 'uthando' ngcono kunesipho. Ukuzithengela izipho akubokuzingca okanye bubudenge. Enyanisweni, yenye yeendlela ezilungileyo zokubonisa uthando lwakho.

Ziphe into obusoloko uyifuna, kuba ikufanele. Emva kwawo wonke umsebenzi onzima owenzayo kunye nayo yonke into odlula kuyo, ufanele ukufumana ukwamkelwa okuthile ngohlobo lwesipho.

Izinto eziyimfuneko zokuhlambela, isipha seentyatyambo, intsimbi yomqala yedayimane, okanye ilokhwe entsha. Izipho azinangcaciso. Ngokuxhomekeke kwimali ofuna ukuyichitha kunye nento oyithanda kakhulu, ungazikhethela esona sipho sigqibeleleyo. Ekupheleni kosuku, isipho kufuneka sibe yinto enokuzisa uncumo oluhle ebusweni bakho.

13. Zibhalele imiyalezo emnandi

Kweli hlabathi losasazo lwentlalo, amaxesha amaninzi, ukuzixabisa kwethu kudityaniswa nezimvo zabanye. Kangangokuba, sichitha ixesha lethu elininzi sithelekisa kwaye sigxeka inkangeleko yethu kunye nendlela yokuphila. Kodwa lixesha lokuphuma kulo mkhwa umbi kwaye wamkele oyinyaniso 'wena.' Zijonge esipilini kwaye ujonge kubo bonke ubuhle onayo. Zibhalele iileta okanye imiyalezo evakalisa uthando lwakho ngobuhle obuyiyo.

Oku kuya kukunceda ulahle umkhwa ombi wokugxila kuphela kwiziphene. Kuya kukunceda uqondise ujoliso lwakho kuko konke okuhle okukuwe kwaye ikunikeze ukuzithemba ngakumbi okukuvumela ukuba uzithande. Kwaye ngaphezu kwakho konke, ngubani owaziyo ukuba oku kunokukunceda ukuba ube ngumntu ukuthumela imiyalezo ngefowuni pro -umgangatho onokuthi ucoce ubudlelwane bakho neqabane lakho langoku okanye elizayo.

Ezi 13 njani umhla ngokwakho izimvo zikhethekileyo kum. Emva kokuba ndithandana unyaka wonke, ndiye ndafumanisa ukuba ukuzithanda linyathelo elibalulekileyo lokufumana ulonwabo lokwenene. Ndiyathemba ukuba zonke ezi 'dete yourself ideas' ziya kunceda ukwazisa uthando lwakho olutsha.

Ngomxholo othe kratya kubudlelwane nothando, qhubeka usindwendwele apha bonobology.com.

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Izinto ezili-13 zokuziqhelanisa ukutsala uthando kuBomi bakho

Umnikelo wakho awuquki isisa umnikelo. Iya kuvumela i-Bonobology ukuba iqhubeke nokukuzisela ulwazi olutsha nolwangoku kwiphulo lethu lokunceda nabani na osehlabathini ukuba afunde ukwenza nantoni na.