Indlela Yokudlala Kanzima Ukuze Ufumane Nomfo & Umenze Afune Wena

Ngaba uyawuva lo mbono wokudlala nzima ukuze ufumane nomntu wakho? Ukuba awukuthandi ngokwenene ukudlala imidlalo, ke ukudlala nzima ukuze ufumane kunokuvela njengento ekhohlisayo kuwe. Mhlawumbi ucinga ukuba yonakalisa imihla embalwa yokuqala, okanye mhlawumbi uluhlobo olufuna ukuba ubudlelwane bube yinto ephilayo kunye nokuzenzekelayo.

Okanye mhlawumbi uluhlobo oluzibuzayo ukuba ungadlala njani nzima emva kokulala nomfana, ukuze nje umenze akufune ngakumbi. Yiloo nto kanye ebangela ukuba amanye amantombazana adlale nzima ukuze adibane nabafana abathanda kakhulu. Ufuna umntu wakho akucenge kunokuba ahambe emva kwakhe. Ufuna ukugcina izinto zipholile hleze ubonakale unqwenela uthando. Umbuzo ngulo: Ungadlala njani nzima ukuze ube nendoda ngaphandle kokwenzakalisa iimvakalelo zakho kunye neemvakalelo zakho? Silapha ukuze sikuxelele indlela eyiyo yokumcenga umntu wakho, lonto izakumshiya efuna ngaphezulu kodwa ayizomosha amandla akho naye.

Ngaba Ukudlala nzima ukuze ufumane umsebenzi ngenene?

Nokuba sithini isimo sakho sokudlala nzima ukuze ufumane ipsychology, izifundo ezininzi, njengoko kuchaziwe kule uphononongo olunzulu, baye bafumanisa ukudlala nzima ukuze bafumane umvuzo ngakumbi kwixesha elide - Yiba ekuphuculeni i-quotient yakho enqwenelekayo okanye ukuzibophelela kokuvavanya kwiqabane elinokwenzeka. "Kulungile, ke ndifuna iingcebiso malunga nendlela yokudlala nzima ukuze ufumane nomfana endimthandayo," ingqondo yakho ihamba ngokukhawuleza. Kodwa ngaphambi kokuba usebenze kwaye udlale kubanda, fumanisa oku:

• Ngaba ngokwenene iluncedo kuwe?
• Ngaba kukho naziphi na izinto ezilungileyo zokudlala ngale ndlela?
• Ngaba kupholile ukuzama ukudlala nzima xa umthanda ngokwenene umntu?
• Umhlobo wakho wasekholejini usenokuba uphumelele ngesi sicwangciso, kodwa ngaba oku kuya kusebenza kuwe okanye uya kubonakala ngathi iflegi ebomvu iyonke?

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Ukuba ufuna ukuqhubela phambili emva kolu vavanyo, yazi oku: Umdlalo wokudlala nzima ukuze uwufumane unokusebenza ukuba uwudlala kakuhle kwaye uwenza kakuhle. Xa uNatalie, oyena mnikezeli wengcebiso zothando kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo, wanikela iingcebiso ezimbalwa kuRebecca malunga nendlela yokudlala nzima ukuze ufumane nomfana oneentloni, wathetha ngokusuka kumava. “Musa ukuba ngumntu ofumaneka lula, kuba awufuni ukubonakala uphelelwe lithemba.

"Mbonise ukuba unobomi bakho obunenkathalo ngokunzulu. Kodwa qaphela ukubashiya bedidekile kunye nokungakhathali kwakho kunye nokuziphatha okubandayo. Betha ukuba ulungelelwano oluhle kwaye luya kukwenza unqweneleke, "wacebisa umhlobo wakhe ngendlela efanelekileyo yokudlala imidlalo ukuze ufumane umfana. Njengoko ubona, iqhinga kukufumanisa indlela yokudlala nzima ukufumana ngaphandle kokulahlekelwa nguye, okanye ukumvumela ukuba alahlekelwe yintliziyo. Xa sele uyibambile loo nto, akukho nto ikunqandayo ekubeni wenze lo mntu ngowakho.

Nje ngokuba uphando papashwa kwi Umbhalo woBudlelwane beNtlalo noBuntu, ukudlala nzima ukuze ufumane ingakumbi emva kokuba ulele naye, kubangela ukungaqiniseki. Uphononongo lufumanise ukuba ukwenza ukuleqa kube nzima “licebo elisebenzayo elenyusa iimbono zexabiso leqabane lamaqabane.” Ukuyibeka ngokulula, kwandisa ukunqweneleka kwakho kwaye kukunika isandla esiphezulu ekuthandeni.

Ukuba ucinga ngokudlala nzima ukuze ufumane nendoda, kuya kufuneka uyazi ukuba isebenza njani kwaye phi kanye kanye. Ukukhokelela iqabane lakho elinokubakho ekuleqeni kunoku:

• Ukunika iintambo zobudlelwane. Ungadlala wonke umdlalo ngokweminqweno yakho kunye nezinto ozifunayo
• Yenza ube nomtsalane. Abantu baya kufuna ukutsalela ingqalelo yakho kubo; iyakwandisa imfuno yakho
• Shiya umdla wakho wothando udidekile kwiintsuku zokuqala. Mhlawumbi akunamdla kuye? Okanye mhlawumbi unjalo?
• Yenza ubonakale ungakhathali okanye ubonise njenge-snob, ngamanye amaxesha amadoda athanda ukugijima emva
• Yakha ngokumangalisayo ukuthembana nokuzibophelela. Unokulinganisa ukuba iqabane lakho liyazi indlela yokuphatha intombi yakhe kwaye akanazintloni zokuzama ukukoyisa

Ngoko yintoni eyona nto iphambili? Yidlale kakuhle kwaye uyidlale ipholile, kwaye uyenze ngendlela efanelekileyo yokunciphisa nayiphi na ingozi.

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Ukudlala Kanzima Ukuze Ufumane Kuthetha Ukuthini?

Ukudlala nzima ukuze ufumane kuthetha ukwenza ngathi awufumaneki lula kumntu onomdla kuwe nalowo unomdla kuye. Kuthetha ukuba uxakekile, ungaphenduli yonke iminxeba yabo, uqhubeke usenza izinto zakho ngoku ubona lomntu. Uzenza ongenakufikeleleka kubo ukuze baphume ngendlela yabo ukuze bakuchukumise. Umbono kukwenza ubonakale unqweneleka ngakumbi kwaye uqalise umdlalo wokuleqa onokuthi izinto eziqholiweyo phezulu kwaye wenze kube mnandi ngakumbi.

Umfundi wethu oneminyaka engama-25 ubudala waseNew York, uCarl, ubalisa amava akhe nomfana awayemthanda ngokwenene. Xa wacela u-Ahmed ukuba akhuphe ifilimu, lo mva wavele wayikhupha nangona wayenomdla ngokulinganayo kuye. UCarl wayecaphukile oku kodwa wagqiba ekubeni adlale nzima ukuze afumane, ngendlela efanelekileyo. Ngobo busuku, waphuma waya kwiifilimu kunye nomhlobo kwaye wayithumela kwibali lakhe le-Instagram ukuze u-Ahmed abone. Waphawula ukuba uCarl unexesha elihle kwaye wamthumelela umyalezo ebuza ukuba ifilimu yayinjani. Ukumgcina elindile, uCarl wakhetha ukugxila kwezinye izinto ngosuku lwakhe waza waphendula ngosuku olulandelayo esithi ifilimu yayimnandi.

"Injongo yam yayingenakuze ndimlimaze okanye ndimenze azive eshiywe ngaphandle. Ndandifuna nje ukubonakala kumagnetic kungakhathaliseki ukuba wagqiba ekubeni achithe ixesha kunye nam okanye cha. Ngale ndlela, wandibona njengomntu onexabiso eliphezulu. Ukwenza ngokuzithemba kwenza umehluko. Nangona xa bakugatya ekuqaleni, beza ngokukhawuleza, "uCarl usixelele.

Indlela Yokudlala Kanzima Ukufumana Nomfana kwaye Uyenze Isebenze

Ke ufuna ukudlala nzima ukuze ufumane i-ex ukuze umenze akurhole kwakhona okanye ufuna nje ukubamba iliso laloo cutie ikrwaqulayo ngaphaya kwebar. Khumbula nje, kukho umgca obhityileyo phakathi kokudlala nzima ukuze ufumane nendoda onomdla kuyo kwaye umenze azive ngathi ukuleqa uya kuba sisiphelo. Wela loo mgca kwaye usenokugqiba ngokumgxotha endaweni yokuba ukumenza abe nomdla kuwe kwakhona.

UOwen, umhlalutyi weenkcukacha, ukhumbula ixesha awayethandana nentombazana ethile elumelwaneni lwakhe. "Ekuqaleni, wayebonakala ngathi kulula ukumfumana. Kodwa kufana nokuba umntu uguqule iswitshi kwaye waya kubanda kakhulu kum. Bendihleli kakuhle naye edlala nzima ukuze aqale, kodwa akuzange kubonakale ngathi uyaphela umdlalo. Ndiyekile ukuzama njengoko bekuvakala ngathi nditsalelwa kuhlobo oluthile lokudlala. Ndivakalelwa kukuba akuyomfuneko ukwenza izinto zibe nzima kubudlelwane. Ngoku, xa ndibona intombazana inomdla kubudlelwane. intloko yam malunga nokuba kukho iingxaki kunye naye, ”utshilo.

Usenokuba ucinga: Indlela ukudlala nzima ukufumana nomfana ngaphandle kokuwa kudidi abafazi ezinjalo, kwaye nangoku ugcine izinto umdla kubudlelwane bam? Ungakhathazeki, uya kuyenza ngendlela eyiyo ngaphandle kokubonakala ngathi unenkohliso. Kuba ngokulandelayo, uya kufunda indlela yokudlala nzima ukuze ufumane xa umfana ecela inombolo yakho, okanye xa engekho kuwe. Masiyenze isebenze kuni nobabini njengoko nizimisele ukwakha ubudlelwane obunomdla kodwa obunentsingiselo omnye nomnye:

1. Makathabathe inyathelo lokuqala, nanjengomfazi wale mihla

Oku kunokungavisisani nexesha lokuhamba ngesiDatshi kuyinto eqhelekileyo. Enyanisweni, ibhinqa eliqala ukuthandana yeyona nto ipholileyo, kwaye abafazi abaninzi ngoku baqala ukuba ngaphambili ngayo. Ngoko, ukuvumela indoda yenza intshukumo yokuqala Isenokubonakala iyinto yakudala yokuqonda kwakho, kodwa yeyona nto indala ingcebiso malunga nendlela yokudlala nzima ukuze ufumane nomfana.

Nokuba utsalwe kangakanani na kule ndoda, musa ukwenza intshukumo yokuqala kuyo. Kunoko, mvumele enze umgudu wokubonisa ukuba uyakufuna kubomi bakhe. Mbonise ukuba ubukho bakho ebomini bakhe ayisosiqwenga sekhekhe ukuba sithathwe kwitheko lokuzalwa. Mvumele asebenzele kuko.

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2. Gcina kumnandi

Icebiso elidala lokuthandana ngokudlala nzima ukufumana: "Baphathe kakubi, bagcine benomdla." Musa ukubambelela kwigama elithi 'lithetha', nangona kunjalo. Siyazi ukuba ubungethandi ukuba onakaliswe ngamava kangangokuba ukukhankanywa nje kwegama lakho kuzisa ukuduma kweemvakalelo. Ngoko ke, siza kukugcina kumnandi endaweni yoko. Ufuna ukubonakala njengomntu obambekayo, hayi okrwada kakhulu.

Konke oku kulungile, kodwa kuthekani ukuba lo mfo utyumzayo uneentloni? Ukufumana indlela yokudlala nzima ukufumana nge umntu oneentloni i tricker. Nantsi indlela onokuthi udlale ngayo nzima ukuze ufumane nomfo wakho kwaye umenze ajonge phambili kukudibana kwakho okulandelayo, ngaphandle kokumcenga:

• Mthumelele umyalezo wothando kwaye unganxibelelani iiyure ezimbalwa
• Okanye umthumelele umfanekiso welokhwe oceba ukuyinxiba kumhla wakho olandelayo kunye naye, ngaphandle kokuvuma impendulo yakhe ethi "WOW"

3. Ukuphumelela kunzima ukukufumana kufuna ukuba uzip imilebe yakho

Unokukholelwa ukuba ukuba uza kuqalisa ubudlelwane obutsha, kuya kufuneka uhlambuluke ngobomi bakho bothando kunye namava obudlelwane obudlulileyo. Ewe, kulungile, kodwa unokuqiniseka ukuba ulahlekelwe ngumdla wakhe. Ngapha koko, iitafile zinokujika kwaye unokufumana umfana wakho edlala nzima ukuze afumane, kwaye ade enze into engaphenduliyo. Akuyomfuneko ukuba umnike lowdown epheleleyo ebomini bakho mhla niqala ukuthandana.

Kukho indlela yokudlala izinto ngokuthanda kwakho. Yintoni abalandeli ilangatye lothando phakathi kwabaphi na abantu ababini yimfihlelo yonke. Ngoku, ukuba udlala nzima ukuze ufumane ngokumgcina eqikelela, makube njalo. Ungalityhila ibali lakho ngokuthe ngcembe njengoko nisiya nazana kakuhle ngokwaneleyo ukuba niphuhlise inqanaba lokuthuthuzela apho kungafuneki ukuba nibhenele kwimidlalo yengqondo gcina intlantsi iphila.

4. Ukuhlala uxakekile yeyona ndlela ilungileyo yokwenza intrigue indoda yakho

Dala naye, kodwa wenze zonke ezinye izinto ngaphandle kwakhe. Kulungile, inokuba luthando ekuqaleni kokubona kwakho. Nangona kunjalo, qiniseka ukuba awuziboni njengomntu ofumanekayo kuye ngethontsi lomnqwazi. Zigcine uxakekile, akukhathaliseki nokuba ukulangazelela kangakanani ukuba nesi sikhephe sokuphupha. Ndiyazi ukuba ufuna ukuhlala uncamathele kuye kodwa loo nto inokumenza ukuba abophe kwelinye icala.

KuNicholas, ugqirha osakhasayo, ucinga ukuba yiloo nto eyenza iqabane lakhe libe libambe kakuhle. Uthi: “Ngandlel’ ithile, ndiziva ndixolile into yokuba intombi yam ingancamatheli, iyenza inqweneleka ngakumbi njengoko ibonakala ingumntu wayo, isinika okuninzi esimele sikhangele phambili kuyo, izinzile kwaye ayindifuni ngalo lonke ixesha,” utsho. Mhlawumbi kufuneka uhlawulele oku kwaye wenze isicwangciso sakho sokuya kwindlela yokudlala kanzima ukuze ufumane nomfana.

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5. Hlala unomdla, kodwa ube kude

Ukuba ufuna ukwazi eyona fomyula ilula ukuze udlale nzima ukuyifumana kwaye umenze akusukele, landela le ngokusondeleyo.

Uyamthanda umntu, uyabazisa, kodwa kufuneka ubagcine ezinyaweni ngamanye amaxesha. Dlala nzima ukuze ufumane nendoda yakho ngokuba kude kube kanye ngexeshana – ngokwaneleyo nje ukumenza umdla kwaye umenze enze umzamo wokuhoya kwakho. Nangona kunjalo, kufuneka ulungelelanise apha ukuze indoda onomdla kuyo ingaziboni ithathwa njengendawo okanye ivakalelwe. ukungahoywa kubudlelwane. Uyigqithise kwaye uya kuphuma wedwa.

UMartin, umthengisi wempahla oneminyaka engama-34 ubudala, uthi, "Ndiyaqonda ukuba ukuleqa kuzisa uchulumanco oluthile kubudlelwane kodwa ngubani ofuna ukuba semngciphekweni we-24/7? Ndikhe ndadlula kule nto ngaphambili, ayimnandanga kwaye ikwenza ungaphumli. Kum, eso yayisisizathu esaneleyo sokukholelwa ukuba wayengenamdla kwaye engatyalwanga njengoko ndingazange ndizisole.

6. Thatha ixesha lakho ukuthumela umyalezo kwakhona

Unxibelelwano aluzange lube yingxaki kwixesha le-intanethi kunye nemidiya yoluntu. Ukuba kukho nantoni na, kukho ukugqithiswa kwayo okwenzekayo ngoku, ngoko kunokuba nzima ukuxhathisa ukuthumela imiyalezo kubo. Nangona kunjalo, kufuneka wenze kanye loo nto. Zihambile iintsuku abantu babelinde ngomnxeba ukutsalelwa umnxeba ovela kumntu onomdla wothando. Ngoko ke, njani ukudlala nzima ukuze ufumane nomfana ingakumbi xa izinto ezifana ukufikelela kunye nonxibelelwano non-imiba?

Kuhle kwakudala imithetho engabhalwanga yokuthandana Idityaniswe ne-e-age etiquette inokuboleka umda kuthando lwakho. Ke, zibambe kancinci ukuba uzifumana uhlala uthumela umyalezo kumfo wakho, okanye uya kuyonakalisa yonke inqaku le nto uzama ukuyifezekisa. Libazise iimpendulo zakho kwaye uthathe ixesha lakho ukuphendula iifowuni okanye iitekisi zakhe. Sukucinga ukuba kukho indlela elula kunale yokudlala kanzima ukuze ufumane nomfo wakho.

7. Ukudlala kanzima ukuze ufumane imisebenzi ukuba uqala usebenze kwi-chemistry yesondo

Umgama uyayenza intliziyo ithandeke xa isibini sizifumana singakwazi ukuhlanganisana rhoqo. Noko ke, kwisibini esisandul’ ukuqalisa ukuthandana, ukuba nolindelo lokuthandana kunye nokuxhatshazwa ngokwesini kwenza izinto zibe mnandi ngakumbi. Enye indlela yokwenza oko kukunika uthando lomzimba olulinganiselweyo kulo mfo umbonayo. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ulale naye ngomhla wokuqala okanye wenze njalo xa udibana naye. Menze alinde kancinci, kwaye alangazelela wena. Akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngokubamba ngesondo kancinci ukwenza kube yinto emangalisayo xa nobabini ekugqibeleni nifika phantsi kuyo.

Nali elinye iqhinga lokulizama ukuba ufuna ukudlala izinto ngendlela eyiyo. Ukudibana komzimba ngengozi kutshintsha umdlalo. Ukuba ufuna ukudlala nzima ukuze ufumane kunye nendoda yakho, thatha iingcebiso zeengcali zobudlelwane kuyo - Bacebisa ukusebenzisa izijekulo ezincinci, ezidlalayo ukukhulisa ikhemistri ngokwesondo. Oku akuyi kukhulisa umtsalane wesondo kuphela kodwa kuya kuba negalelo kunxibelelwano lothando kunye neemvakalelo eninalo nobabini. Ukuhambelana ngokwesondo yinxalenye enkulu yalo naluphi na ubudlelwane, ngoko ke baqhula kancinci kwaye babukele bedilika emhlabeni ngenxa yakho. Unokwenza oku nokuba sisini esiqhelekileyo.

8. Yenza isithuba sexesha lam

Abasetyhini badlala nzima ukufumana ukwenza amadoda abasukele. Nangona kunjalo, ngamanye amaxesha kunokuba mnandi ukudlala lo mdlalo xa kukunceda ukuba ugxile kuwe. Ngaba uzifumana ucwangcisa yonke intshukumo yobomi bakho malunga nomfo wakho? Ngaba imuvi eneentombi zakho zibonakala zingekho nje umbuzo ngoku? Ngaba uziva unetyala ngokuchitha impelaveki ngaphandle kwenkwenkwe yakho? Ukuba ifika kweli nqanaba, lixesha lokuqwalasela indlela yokudlala nzima ukufumana emva kokulala nomfana kwaye unamathele kakhulu kuye.

Ukuthetha ne-Bonobology, i-psychology yengcebiso Namrata Sharma, osebenza ngokukhethekileyo ekululekeni imitshato engenaluthando, ukuqhawuka komtshato, neminye imiba yolwalamano, wabalaselisa ukubaluleka kokumisela imida nokumisela imida. indawo kubudlelwane. Uthi, "Ungalibali ukuba kunye nabahlobo kunye nosapho lwakho. Musa ukunikela konke okusemandleni akho kumntu omnye ... Yongeza ixesha lakho kwaye ugcine ixesha ngaphandle komnye nomnye. Qhubekani nisenza into obukade niyenza. Musa ukuyeka ukuzonwabisa, iminqweno, okanye imibutho yabahlobo."

• Funda ukuzibeka phambili, nokuba oko kuthetha ukudlala nzima ukuze ufumane nomntu wakho
• Musa ukuba ngumntu ekulula ukumfumana, kuyawacima
• Ukuba ucwangcise uhambo kunye neentombi zakho, qhubeka nalo. Vumela mfo wakho okanye umhla enokubakho ukwazi ukuba unezinye izicwangciso kwaye unenjongo yokuzibona ngaphandle kwakhe
• Oku kuthumela umyalezo wonke wokuba unobomi bentlalontle bakho kwaye uyakuxabisa ukuzimela kwakho

Nangona kubonakala ngathi kuchasene nemveliso, olu luhlobo lwento eya kumenza afune ubudlelwane obunzulu nawe njengoko uya kwazi ukuba uyayixabisa indawo, ixesha lobuqu kunye namandla.

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9. Mazise ukuba unamanye amadoda ebomini bakho

Phakathi kwezinto ezininzi ekufuneka uyazityumza kukuba unamanye amadoda ebomini bakho, okanye abahlobo abangamadoda kakhulu, ukuze ubonakale ngathi ubambise kakuhle ngobuntu obuphumayo nobuthandeka. Kodwa yenza kucace ukuba bangamaplatonic. Ngale ndlela, uya kwazi ukuba unehlabathi lakho leebhondi, eziquka abahlobo abangamadoda abangathandi. Kunyanzelekile ukuba amgcine emphethweni ngokuqinisekileyo. Oku eneneni ingcebiso enkulu ngendlela ukudlala nzima ukuze ufumane nomfana kwisikolo esiphakathi kakhulu.

10. Dlala nzima ukufumana kwaye umenze akuleqe ngokwenza ngokuzithemba

Ukuba ubonakala uxhalabile, ukhathazekile, okanye usemphethweni ngalo lonke ixesha, umntu wakho uya kubaleka kuwe. Nangona kuvakala kunzima, yinyaniso. Ayonto imbi ukuba nexhala. Kodwa xa uqala ukuthandana nomntu, kufuneka ubonise zonke iindawo zakho ezingcono kulo mntu kuqala ukuba ufuna ukuba abaleke emva kwakho, ekhangeleka ehlanya eluthandweni.

Kwimeko enjalo, kufuneka ube yikati epholileyo, ethembekileyo. Musa ukuba yintombazana ekulula ukuyifumana, kodwa yiba yintombazana efunwa ngumntu wonke kwigumbi. Abantu bathanda ibhinqa elikwaziyo ukubamba umhlaba, ligcine intloko yalo liphezulu, kwaye lihlale livuya ngelo xesha. Ungakhuli ngokuhlala ungatshatanga xa ukunye nalomfana. Mbonise ukuba njani ngokonwaba single ungu. Kufuneka akubone uzithembile kwaye wenza konke okusemandleni akho. Mjonge ebuyela kuwe kwakhona kwaye kwakhona.

11. Dibana naye ngetekisi

Sine ezimbalwa ezidlala nzima ukufumana imizekelo yemiyalezo ebhaliweyo kuwe:

• Ukunciphisa ukuzichaza: Kwanaxa nibabini nithetha ixesha elide ezinzulwini zobusuku, musani ukumxelela kakhulu okanye nibe sesichengeni kakhulu. Nokuba ubuza kakhulu imibuzo ukuze sazane ngcono, yithathe kancinci. Yithi “awufuni kuyazi impendulo yalonto” okanye “andikuxeleli oko okwangoku” ukuze umgcine eqikelela
• Ukwenza impoxo: Dlala naye. Xa ekubuza ngomhla wokuqala, zama ukuyibeka phantsi ngokuthetha into ephoxayo efana “Makhe ndibone ukuba ndiyakuthanda na kuqala” njengesiqhulo. Emva koko, mbuyisele ngaphakathi ngokumxelela ukuba ungathanda ukumbona, kwaye wenze izicwangciso
• Ukuphendula kwiimissed calls zakhe ngokuthumela umyalezo: Ukuba uyakufowunela, njengabafazi abaninzi abazimiseleyo ekudlaleni nzima, vele umthumelele umyalezo endaweni yokumtsalela umnxeba. “Ndixakekile kwaye andikwazi kuthetha ngoku, kuqhubeka ntoni?” yenye indlela yokuphendula

12. Nyaniseka ukuba ufuna ukufumana uthando

Into ebalulekileyo malunga nokudlala amakhadi akho ngokufanelekileyo kukungaqondakali kunye nokusebenzisa zonke iindlela ezifanelekileyo zokumbopha, kodwa kunye nokunyaniseka okucacileyo. Musa ukwenza ngathi ufuna ukulala nomntu ongathandani naye okanye unomdla komnye umntu, kuba nje ufuna ukumbhida. Khumbula, uzama ukutsala kulo mntu, ungamlimazi. Nyaniseka ukuba ufuna ukufumana uthando kwaye ugcina intliziyo yakho ivulekile kuyo yonke le nkqubo. Bonisa injongo, ungagqithisi nje.

13. Beka umzamo othile kubudlelwane kwakhona

Ukudlala nzima ukuze ufumane imisebenzi kuphela ukuba uhlala ubonisa lo mntu ukuba ufanelekile ukubaleka emva. Kwaye ukwenza ngokuzithemba okanye ukwenza ngokuphoxayo ngamagqabaza ahlabayo kuya kukufumana ukuza kuthi ga ngoku. Ukuba ufuna ukufumana umntu omthandayo, zilungiselele bonisa uthando kuye naxa uzama ukudlala nzima ukuze ufumane.

Awudingi ukuba ubonakale endlwini yakhe nge-boombox emva kwengxabano kodwa mbonise ukuba uyakhathala. Finyelela kwimihla ngemihla, mbuze ngobomi bakhe, kwaye ukhumbule izinto ezincinci akuxelela zona ngaye. Ufanele azive ekhululekile xa ekunye nawe, kungekhona engafunwa. Ungayenza yonke le nto kwaye udlale nzima ukuyifumana.

14 Musa ukuthabatheka ekuleqeni

Ngamanye amaxesha ukuleqa kumnandi, kangangokuba bobabini abantu balahlekelwa ngumkhondo wento ebalulekileyo apha, kwaye yindlela enifana ngayo nobabini. Ukuba ufuna ngokwenene ukuphumelela kunzima ukufumana, ke qiniseka ukuba akanguye uhlobo lomfana oya kukusukela aze adinwe kwaye akulahle. Zazi iinjongo zakhe ngokucacileyo kwaye udlale kuphela lo mdlalo wokutyhala-kunye-utsale nomntu onomdla wokwenene kuye.

UTina Gonzalez, umkhupheli kwifemu yentengiso, uyazi nje indlela yokudlala nzima ukuze abe nomfana. Uqinisekisa ukuba uhlala ezigcinele impelaveki ngamaxesha athile. "Umfo wam uyaqonda ukuba ubomi bam bentlalontle okanye indawo yam ayinakumbandakanya ngalo lonke ixesha, kwaye uyaqhelana naloo nto ngoku. Mhlawumbi wayecatshukiswa kwiiveki ezimbalwa zokuqala xa ndandidlala nzima ukuze ndifumane, kodwa uyayixabisa ngoku. Ngendiziva ndine-claustrophobic ukuba wayesabela kakubi, kwaye ngekudala waphuma, "uyabelana.

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Push Ubudlelwane Bokutsalela - Iindlela ezili-9 zokuyoyisa

15. Ungadlala nzima ukuze ufumane emva kokuba uswele — Thatha nje ikhefu

Ukuze ube ngumlobi olungileyo, kufuneka wenze umgudu, kodwa ugcine ukuzithemba kwakho kwindawo ephezulu. Ukuba ucinga ukuba ubuswele kakhulu ngakuye (ungakhathazeki, siyenza sonke), ke qiniseka ukuba uyayimisa xa uqonda ukuba inokuba iya kude. Siyayifumana, uyamthanda lo mfo kwaye uziva iimvakalelo ezininzi xa ukujikelezile. Kuvakala kumnandi ukuba kunye naye kwaye ufuna ngaphezulu kwayo.

Kodwa kuya kufuneka uphume kuyo ngamanye amaxesha ukuze ungabonakali uncamathele kwaye gcina umfana enomdla kuwe. Nantsi indlela:

• Thetha nomnye umntu ukuba kufuneka wenze njalo, kodwa ziphazamise kunokuba ubambelele kuye
• Ukuba ucinga ukuba unokumoyisa lo mfo ngokumbethela ngeetekisi, mnike ikhefu
• Ungamceli de adibane nawe
• Yeka ukumfowunela kule veki izayo thumela umyalezo kuphela xa umkhumbula

Akukho nalinye kula maqhinga afuna ukuba uthathe imidlalo yothando ukuya kumanqanaba anetyhefu okanye uzive unetyala ngokudlala nzima ukuze ufumane nomfana. Njengoko sikhankanyile kwindawo yokuqala, uphando ekudlaleni nzima ukufumana lucebisa ukuba daters ekuqaleni bazinike la maqhinga njengoko zisebenza njengenkuthazo ukuseka okanye ukugcina ubudlelwane bexesha elide. Kodwa akufuneki ukuba ibe ngumdlalo we-slanging kunye nokungalunganga amandla dynamics.

Ngoko ukuba uceba ukudlala nzima ukuze ufumane indoda yakho, yenza ubugcisa bayo. Into ekufuneka uyenzile kukuyigcina ilula kwaye iphakathi. Ndiyathemba ukuba eli nqaku liza kuhambelana nawe, kwaye ngoku unokwenza umsebenzi ongcono ekucengeni indoda oyithandayo.

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