Uxanduva kuBudlelwane-Iifomu ezahlukeneyo kunye neNjani yokuziPhuhlisa

Ngaba isihloko soxanduva kubudlelwane sikushiya unemibuzo? Kuthetha ukuthini ukuba noxanduva kubudlelwane? Kutheni le nto uxanduva lubalulekile? Zahluke kangakanani iimfanelo zendoda kubudlelwane kowasetyhini? Ulubonakalisa njani uxanduva? Yaye unokwenza njani ukuze ube nokuthenjwa ngakumbi kulwalamano? Ewe, senze umhlakulo kwaye safumana iimpendulo. Masiqale ngokuqonda ukuba kuthetha ukuthini uxanduva lobudlelwane.

Kwingqiqo ebanzi, ukuba noxanduva kubudlelwane kuthetha ukuphendulela ngamazwi akho, ukuziphatha, kunye nezenzo zakho. Kuthetha ukuyeka ukuzikhusela kunye nokwamkela uxanduva lwenxalenye yakho kwiingxaki zobudlelwane. Kubandakanya ukuthatha uxanduva lweemvakalelo zakho kunye neemvakalelo zakho, endaweni yokuseka ubushushu beemvakalelo kwiqabane lakho. Ibandakanya ulungelelwaniso lweendima kunye nezinto eziphambili kunye nokubonisa rhoqo kwiqabane lakho. Ukuthabatha uxanduva kukwathetha ukungabela okanye ukwamkela nakuphi na ukutyholwa ngendlela engafanelekanga okanye ityala. Kutheni kubalulekile nje konke oku? Masijonge oko ngokulandelayo.

Ukubaluleka koKuthwala uXanduva kuBudlelwane

Ukuqala kobudlelwane kudla ngokuvakala ngathi liphupha elizalisekileyo. Kodwa ekugqibeleni, inyaniso yenza umnyango omkhulu. Kwaye kuza nebhegi egcwele i-humdrum yemihla ngemihla, ukucaphukisa ngamanye amaxesha, kunye nezigqibo eziqhubekayo. Ngoku, le ngxowa inokuba nzima kakhulu, ngaphandle kokuba sifunde ukulinganisa umthwalo kunye neqabane lethu kwaye senze ukhetho olufanelekileyo ngenxa yobudlelwane. Kulapho ukuthatha uxanduva kungena khona. Ngoko kutheni uxanduva lubalulekile? Nazi ezinye izizathu:

• Kuyanceda ukwakha ukuthembana kunye nokunyaniseka 
• Ikuvumela ukuba uzise eyona nto uyiyo yokwenyani kubudlelwane 
• Ivumela iqabane lakho ukuba lizive likhuselekile kwaye lisengozini kunye nawe
• Ibenza bazi ukuba banokuxhomekeka kuwe

Yiyo loo nto singenako ukukuchaza ukubaluleka kokuba noxanduva ngokwaneleyo kubudlelwane. Ngoko siyibonisa njani imbopheleleko kwabo sibathandayo? Ukuyiqonda loo nto, kuya kufuneka sijonge iindlela ezahlukeneyo zoxanduva kubudlelwane.

UkuFunda okudibeneyo: Iingcebiso ezili-9 zeeNgcali zokuvuselela ukuba sesichengeni kubudlelwane

Iindlela ezisi-7 ezahlukeneyo zoXanduva kuBudlelwane 

Ubudlelwane obuphilileyo bufuna ukuba omabini amaqabane abe nesabelo sawo kwiindima zobudlelwane noxanduva. Oko akusoloko 50-50, njengoko UMichelle Obama ikhumbuza. Kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo ayibandakanyi ukugcina amanqaku okuba ngubani owenze ntoni kwaye ngubani owenze ngaphezulu, okanye ukufuna umntu enze okungakumbi. Ewe, ngaphandle kokuba ufuna ukuseta ikhaya eResentmentville. 

Endaweni yoko, ukuthatha uxanduva kumalunga nokubakho kwi-100% kubudlelwane kunye nokusebenza njengeqela. Kuthetha ukunika inkxaso yeemvakalelo kunye nokuqinisekisa ukuba wena neqabane lakho ninesabelo esilinganayo kwizigqibo. Kwaye nokuba nomqolo weqabane lakho ngexesha leendawo ezinzima. Okanye, xa bewisa ibhola. La ngamanye amalungelo asisiseko kunye noxanduva kubudlelwane.

Ukuthatha uxanduva kubudlelwane yinkqubo ephilayo kunye neendima zobudlelwane kunye noxanduva lweza ngeendlela ezininzi, ezinye zazo zezi:

1. Ukuthatha uxanduva ngeemvakalelo zakho 

Uxanduva lweemvakalelo luthetha ukuqonda ukuba nguwe ophethe indlela oziva ngayo kwaye akukho mntu wumbi - kuquka neqabane lakho. Uxanduva lweemvakalelo kubudlelwane lufuna ukuziqhelanisa ingqibelelo ngokweemvakalelo kunye nokuhlonipha imida yeemvakalelo. Nangona kunjalo, uxanduva lweemvakalelo aluthethi:

• Ukuthatha iimvakalelo ezimbi zeqabane lakho okanye ukuzithethelela
• Ukucinga ukuba kufuneka uhlangabezane nazo zonke iimfuno zabo ngokweemvakalelo
• Ukuziva kungumsebenzi wakho ukubenza bonwabe yonke imizuzu yokuvuka abayichitha nawe kwaye usekele ukuzithemba kwakho kuyo.

Ukuthatha uxanduva kwiimvakalelo zeqabane lakho kunye nokusekela izenzo zakho kwindlela ocinga ukuba baya kusabela ngayo yimizekelo yokuthatha uxanduva olungaphezulu kubudlelwane. Zithintelwe ngcono ukuba ufuna ukugcina ukudinwa ngokweemvakalelo, ukuxhamla, okanye ukuxhomekeka kude.

Ngoko ke, lukhangeleka njani uxanduva lweemvakalelo kubudlelwane? Ukuba iqabane lakho belinosuku olubi emsebenzini, uyaliva. Uyazama ukuqonda indlela abaziva ngayo. Kwaye ubanika ithuba lokusebenzisa iimvakalelo zabo. Kodwa awuzami ukuthatha iimvakalelo zabo okanye 'ulungise' umoya wabo.

2. Ukuthatha uxanduva lwamazwi kunye nezenzo zakho

Yise e uxanduva kubudlelwane kuthetha ukuba nenxaxheba yakho kwaye ukulungele ukwamkela uxanduva lwamazwi nezenzo zakho. Ukuphendula ngobudlelwane kuthetha: 

• Ukuziqhelanisa nokunyaniseka nokunxibelelana ngokuphandle kwaye uzama ukubona indima yakho kwimeko ethile, ngaphandle kokuzithethelela ngento engahambi kakuhle okanye ukwenza ngathi izinto zingaphaya kolawulo lwakho.
• Ukungazikhuseli ngalo lonke ixesha okanye ukungena kumdlalo wokutyhola

Ndithembe, umdlalo wokutyhola okanye uxanduva lokuphendula kwicala elinye kubudlelwane akunakukusa ndawo. Kwakhona, wuqaphele umahluko phakathi koxanduva lokuphendula ngokuchasene nokusola kubudlelwane. Ukuthatha uxanduva kubandakanya omabini amaqabane ukuba neempazamo zawo nokusebenza ngazo. Ityala libandakanya elinye iqabane okanye omabini abambe omnye uxanduva kuzo zonke iimpazamo. 

Ke, kukhangeleka njani ukuthatha uxanduva kubudlelwane? Xa iqabane lakho lizisa ingxaki yobudlelwane, uyayiphonononga indima yakho kuyo. Uyazazi iinkxalabo zabo, kwaye ukuba zinyanisekile, uthatha uxanduva ngokuthi, "Ndiyayifumana inqaku lakho" kwaye "Bendinokuyiqonda ngakumbi / ndinomonde ngakumbi / ndinomsindo ongephi / ndingaphenduli kancinci ...". 

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Ujongana njani nomntu okugxeka ngayo yonke into-iindlela ezingama-21 ezinengqondo

3. Ukuqhelisela uxanduva lobuqu 

Kuthetha ukuthini ukuthatha uxanduva lomntu kubudlelwane? Apha, ukuthatha uxanduva kuthetha ukuthatha uluhlu lweenqobo zakho kunye noxanduva kuwe. Kwaye ke, ukubaxhasa. Kubandakanya ukunyaniseka malunga neenjongo zakho zokuba kubudlelwane okanye ukuhlala kulo. Ngamanye amaxesha, kufuna ukulungelelanisa amalungelo kunye noxanduva kubudlelwane. Kwaye kufuna ukuzazi, ukuzeyisa, kunye nokuhlala unyanisekile kuwe. Ngapha koko, ukuba awunxibelelani nesiqu sakho, unokulindela njani ukunxulumana ngokunyanisekileyo nomnye umntu? 

Ngoko ke, lukhangeleka njani uxanduva lomntu kubudlelwane? Yithi uyayithanda imidlalo ye-adventure kwaye iqabane lakho lithanda imisebenzi ezolileyo. Kunokuba uncame into oyithandayo okanye abayithandayo, nobabini nifumana iindlela zokusukela izilangazelelo zenu. Okanye, dibana omnye komnye.

4. Ukuqaphela uxanduva oluchaphazelekayo 

Ngoku ka izifundo, ukuziphatha okuchaphazelekayo kubudlelwane kunokuba zombini okulungileyo, njengokuhlekisa, uthando, kunye nokuqinisekiswa, okanye okubi, njengokurhoxiswa, ukubethelwa ngamatye, okanye ukugxeka ngokukrakra. Uxanduva olusebenzayo lufuna ukuba: 

• Ziqhelise ukuzazi kwaye uqaphele ukuba amazwi akho, iimvakalelo, kunye nokuziphatha kunokuchaphazela njani iqabane lakho 
• Qinisekisa ukuba amazwi kunye nezenzo zakho azonakalisi ukuzixabisa kwabo okanye ukuzithemba kwabo
• Ziqhelise uvelwano, ukulungele ukubona izinto ngokwembono yazo, kwaye ukhethe amagama akho ngengqondo 

Masithi ukhe waba nomsindo kancinci kwiqabane lakho kwaye uyayazi lonto. Xa iqabane lakho liziva ndiviswa ubuhlungu zizimvo zakho utsho ke, ukuba akungxamele ukuziphendulela. Kunoko, ucela uxolo ngokunyanisekileyo nize nithethe kakuhle, ningakhange nizame ukuhlekisa ngezinto enizithethileyo.

5. Ukuba noxanduva lwezemali 

Ngoku ka izifundo, iingxaki zemali ngowona nobangela wengxabano phakathi kwezibini. Yiloo nto eyenza ukuba uxanduva lwemali kubudlelwane bubaluleke kakhulu. Ukuthatha uxanduva apha kubandakanya ukwenza izigqibo zemali kunye, ukubeka iinjongo zemali, kunye nokunyaniseka malunga nemeko yakho yemali. Ke ungalwakha njani uxanduva lwemali kubudlelwane? Nazi ezinye iindlela:

• Thathani isigqibo sokuba niyafuna na ukwenza iakhawunti edibeneyo yokwabelana ngeendleko okanye nigcine iimali zenu ngokuzimeleyo
• Qinisekisa ukuba ufaka igalelo elilinganayo kwindibaniselwano nganye, okanye ubuncinane ngokwemivuzo yakho 
• Musa ukulifihla ityala lekhadi letyala okanye ukuthenga ngokungakhathali

Gcina ukhumbule ukuba rhoqo ukubheyila iqabane lakho ngaphandle kwamatyala okanye ukuziva unoxanduva lwezigqibo zabo zemali ezingalunganga zifikelela kuxanduva olungaphaya kobudlelwane kwaye luphawu olubomvu. 

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Iingcebiso zoCwangciso lwezeMali: Iimbono ezingcono zoTyalo-mali kwizibini ezitshatileyo

6. Ukulungelelanisa uxanduva olwabiweyo

Emva kwemali, ukwahlula uxanduva sesinye isihloko izibini ezihlala zixabana kwaye zahlulahlulwe iinwele. Nje ngokuba izifundo, indlela owahlula ngayo uxanduva inegalelo elikhulu kulwaneliseko lolwalamano. Ke, uxanduva olwabiweyo kubudlelwane lwehlela entwenini? Ngaba ilula ukwahlula imisebenzi yasekhaya ngokulinganayo? Okanye, utshintshe iindima zesini zemveli ngelixa ukuyo? Uwujonga njani umthwalo wengqondo ongabonakaliyo, njengokugcina umkhondo wesiqhelo kunye nokuxhalaba ngamatyala? 

Kwaye wenza ntoni xa kukho ukungalingani? Ingaba ulwahlulo olulinganayo lwamalungelo kunye noxanduva kubudlelwane lusebenza njani xa elinye iqabane linomsebenzi onzima othatha lonke ixesha labo kwaye omnye kufuneka achithe lonke ixesha labo lokukhululeka elawula indlu kwaye ekhathalela abantwana? 

Le yeminye yemibuzo emalunga noxanduva olwabiweyo kubudlelwane ekuya kufuneka usebenze kuyo neqabane lakho. Khumbula, ukushiya wonke umsebenzi wokugrumba ngokomzimba nangokwengqondo kwiqabane lakho kuya kwenza ubudlelwane obungenampilo. Kwaye onomsindo.

7. Uxanduva lwezesondo

Oku kubandakanya imiba efana nokwenza ukwabelana ngesondo okukhuselekileyo kunye nokunyaniseka malunga nempilo yezesondo okanye imbali, ngakumbi ukudiza malunga nalo naluphi na usulelo okanye izifo ezosulela ngokwabelana ngesondo. Kufuna ukuqonda ukuba isini asiyombopheleleko kulwalamano. Kwaye nayiphi na imisebenzi yezesondo kufuneka isekelwe kwimvumelwano. Nobabini kufuneka nikhululeke nithi hayi kwinto eningakhululekanga ngayo.

Iindlela ezili-10 zokuba noxanduva kubudlelwane

Ngokusekwe kumava obuqu, ndiqinisekile ukuba uloyiko loxanduva kubudlelwane kunye nokuziva usonganyelwe ziimfuno zobudlelwane ayiyomiba yokungahoywa. Uninzi lwethu luwela kumgibe woloyiko kwaye sincame ithuba lethu lothando. Okanye, gqibela ngokuphinda iipateni ezinetyhefu okanye umonzakalo-de siqale ziva ukoyika ukuba kubudlelwane. Kangangokuba nombono wokuzibophelela ixesha elide usenza sibe balk. Kwaye uxinzelelo lweemvakalelo oluza nokuthatha uxanduva lusenza siphume, sifune ukubaleka, okanye sihlale sikwimo yokungazinzi kubudlelwane. 

Ngamanye amaxesha, ekuphela kwendlela yokuphuma kuloyiko kukusebenza kuyo. Kunzima njengoko kuvakala, kunokwenziwa. Nazi izicwangciso ezili-10 zokuphuhlisa umkhwa wokuthatha uxanduva kubudlelwane:

UkuFunda okudibeneyo: 8 Uloyiko oluqhelekileyo kubudlelwane - Iingcebiso zeeNgcali zokoyisa 

1. Ziqhelise ukunxibelelana ngokuphandle

Unxibelelwano lwasimahla noluvulelekileyo lunokuhamba indlela ende ekwakheni ubudlelwane obunempilo. Ubuya kuyazi njani into eyenzekayo engqondweni yeqabane lakho? Kwaye bayazi njani into okanye xa kukho into ekubangelayo? Ngoko ke sukuhlala uthule kwizinto ezikukhathazayo nje ngokuba uyoyika ukudibana. Fumana indlela yokuthetha ngayo, ngaphandle kokukhohlisa, ukuhlazeka, okanye ukutyhola. Okanye, uya kuba semngciphekweni wokwakha ingqumbo kunye nokungaqondani kwaye uvuse umdlalo wokutyhola kamva.

2. Yiba ngumsombululi weengxaki 

Ukungavisisani kunye nokungafani kwezimvo kungokwemvelo kubudlelwane. Ngoko ke, xa kuvela ingxaki:

• Vuma ukuba ungavumelani xa ufikelela kumda 
• Kodwa kuphephe ukucinga ngasese ukuba iqabane lakho liyingxaki
• Endaweni yoko, zama ukufumana indawo ephakathi, funda ukulalanisa, kwaye ufumane isisombululo eninokuphila ngaso nobabini

Ukuba unamathela kwindlela yokusombulula ingxaki, uya kuphuma amabala arhabaxa kubudlelwane yomelele.

3. Hloniphani indawo yobuqu yomnye 

Zonke izibini zidinga indawo ngamaxesha athile ukuze ziphinde ziphinde ziqhagamshelane nazo, iinjongo zabo, kunye nezinto ezinomdla kuzo. Okanye, fumana umgama abawudingayo ukuze bawubonise kwaye bafumane imbono ethile kwimiba encangathi. Indawo yobuqu ithetha: 

• Ukwazisana njengabantu ngabanye, kunokuba njengamaqhekeza ephazili okanye amalungu ayo yonke into 
• Ukuphuhlisa intlonipho ephilileyo kwiimfuno zomntu ngamnye kunye nexesha, kunokutyeshela iimfuno kunye nokuziva benelungelo lokuchitha ixesha lomnye nomnye.

UkuFunda okudibeneyo: Indlela yokukhulisa isithuba kubudlelwane

4. Yiba ngumntu omkhulu ngamanye amaxesha

Funda ukuvumela izinto ezincinci zityibilike kwaye ugxile kwizinto ezibalulekileyo. Ngamaxesha athile, yiba ngoyena mntu unovelwano noqondayo. Funda uku xolela ulibale. Endaweni yokuzama ukubonisa ukuba ulungile okanye uphumelele ingxabano, beka i-ego yakho ecaleni kwaye uzame ukujonga izinto ngokwembono yeqabane lakho. Mhlawumbi uya kuqonda into ongazange uyiqonde ngaphambili.

5. Ukuxhasa izibophelelo kunye noxanduva olufanayo 

Igama elithi 'uxanduva' aliyi kuvakala njengomthwalo xa nobabini nilungele ukwabelana ngalo. Kwaye nobabini nibambe isiphelo senu kwaye nilandele kwizibophelelo ezifanayo. Oku kufuna ukuziqhelanisa nokuziphendulela kubudlelwane, kwaye, ukufunda indlela yokubamba umntu aphendule kubudlelwane.

Khumbula: Ukuphendula ngobudlelwane akuthethi ukubamba iqabane lakho uxanduva ngazo zonke izibophelelo eziphosiweyo okanye uxanduva olungahoywanga ngelixa usenza uxanduva lokuziphendulela ngokwakho.

6. Veza xa iqabane lakho likudinga

Umhlobo wam, uAndrew, ngomnye wabona bafana bakumgangatho ophezulu endibaziyo, obonisa iqabane lakhe rhoqo. Ke, ndambuza ukuba kuthetha ukuthini kuye ukuba noxanduva kubudlelwane kunye nokuthatha uxanduva kuye. Uthe, “Ukuba noxanduva kubudlelwane kum, kuthetha ukuthembeka nokuthembeka.Kwaye ukubakho xa iqabane lakho likudinga.Ngeli xesha usenza ngalo, iqabane lakho liya kumazi lo mntu. undikhathalele kwaye ndiyalihlonela ixesha lam nezinto ezindikhathazayo. ”

Ukubonisa kunokuthetha ngokulula: 

• Ukunika inkxaso ngokweemvakalelo 
• Ukuthabatha ezinye zeembopheleleko zabo ukuba bakwixesha elinzima 
• Ukunika iingcebiso ezinyanisekileyo ukuba bayayidinga 
• Ukuba lapho, bade balungele ukuthetha

UkuFunda okuFanayo: 11 Isilumkiso Iimpawu yokunqongophala Connection ngokweemvakalelo kubudlelwane

7. Kukulungele ukucela uxolo 

Oku akuthethi ukuba uyakwamkela okanye ukubeke ityala ngaphakathi kwizinto ongazange uzenze okanye ongenanxaxheba kuzo. Kodwa ukuba uye wanenxaxheba ekudaleni imeko, nokuba incinci kangakanani na, yiba nesandla kuyo kwaye uyifumane. iindlela ezinyanisekileyo zokucela uxolo. Kulungele ukuyamkela imiphumo. Xelela iqabane lakho ukuba uceba ukulilungisa njani okanye uqinisekise ukuba into efanayo ayiphindi yenzeke. Uze ulandele.

8. Funda ukuthabatha ukugxekwa okunenjongo entle ngoko sikuko

Nangona kungekho mntu uthanda ukugwetywa, ukugxekwa akusoloko kuyinto embi. Kunokuba uqwenge iqabane lakho okanye uye kumama, nantsi into onokuyenza:

• Musa ukuzivalela ngaphandle okanye ukuba kunokwenzeka ukuba zichanekile 
• Gcina ingqondo evulekileyo, mamela ngenyameko, kwaye ubuze imibuzo ukuze uqonde apho bavela khona
• Khumbula ukuba iqabane lakho lityale imali kuwe nakubudlelwane bakho kwaye kunzima njengoko bekuya kuba njalo ukuva, khangela ukuba oko bakuthethileyo kulungile. Ukuba akunjalo, yitsho ngembeko nangokuzola 

9. Yiba nebhongo kwaye uvule ngobudlelwane bakho

Akukho mntu uthanda zabo ubudlelwane bube yimfihlo ngaphandle kokuba yinto omabini amaqabane agqibe kuyo. Ke, bonisa intsebenziswano yakho - bonisa ihlabathi ukuba wonwabe kwaye unombulelo kangakanani ngokuba neqabane lakho ebomini bakho. Bafanele bazi ukuba ubeka phambili ubudlelwane bakho kwaye uya kukhusela oko unako kunye nabo. Babonise ukuba babalulekile kuwe ngoku:

• Ukucwangcisa ixesha kunye nabo
• Ukufuna nokuhlonipha iingcinga nezimvo zabo
• Ukuthabatha icala labo xa imeko ifuna oko

UkuFunda okuFanayo: 10 Biggest Priorities A Relationship

10. Funa uncedo ukuba uyalufuna

Ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba isikhokelo sobuchule singakunceda ekuphenduleni inkxalabo yakho kwaye sikuncede ukuba ujonge kakuhle amalungelo kunye noxanduva kubudlelwane, ke yifune ngazo zonke iindlela. Ungade udibane Iphaneli yeBonobology yabacebisi uncedo.

Ukoyika uxanduva kubudlelwane kunokuba ngumqobo. Kodwa uthando olusekelwe kwiminyaka emininzi yoxanduva olwabelwanayo aluyonto yokoyika. Endaweni yoko, kusentliziyweni yobudlelwane obuhlala ixesha elide nobunempilo. Yiyo loo nto singenako ukukuchaza ukubaluleka kokuba noxanduva kubudlelwane okanye sikugxininise ngokwaneleyo.

FAQs

Yintoni Ubudlelwane Obonwabileyo? Iimpawu kunye nendlela yokubeka imida

Kuthetha ukuthini 'Ukubambela umntu isithuba' kwaye uyenza njani?

Ibaluleke kangakanani imidla eqhelekileyo kubudlelwane?

Umnikelo wakho awuquki isisa umnikelo. Iya kuvumela i-Bonobology ukuba iqhubeke nokukuzisela ulwazi olutsha nolwangoku kwiphulo lethu lokunceda nabani na osehlabathini ukuba afunde ukwenza nantoni na.

Jonga Inkqubo yethu yokuHlela

Dibana neBhodi yethu yoHlolo

Yabelana ngeNgxelo

Ithini impendulo yakho?

×

Uncedo Xela impazamo omnye

Ngenisa