Izindlela Eziyisi-8 Zokwazi Ukuthi Uyakuthanda Noma Ukukho Kuphela Ukwenza Ucansi

Iningi lethu liyazi ukuthi kunamadoda angenza noma yini ukuze alale, angaze ashaye sengathi asothandweni ukuze nje azijabulise nawe. Amanye amadoda aqamba amanga ngamabomu kuphela ukuze abe nobusuku benkanuko, futhi ngemva kwalokho, aqedile. Bangase bangaphinde bakushayele ucingo noma bakhulume nawe futhi. Akulula ngaso sonke isikhathi ukubona izimpawu zokuthi ufuna ukulala nawe noma unentshisekelo yokuba nobudlelwano bothando.

Amanye amadoda, analesi sici esiyisisekelo sokuxhaphaza abantu besifazane ngokomzwelo ngenxa yothando olungokwenyama, ayalulimaza kwamanye amadoda. Laba bakhwabanisi kwezothando bavame ukusibekela isibalo esikhulu sabasheli bangempela. Ngakho-ke, asikwazi ukungakunaki ngempela ukuba khona kwalezi zingcingo ezisizungezile ezingenza noma yini ukungena ekamelweni lakho.

Ake ngikutshele ngomngane wami u-Emma osazama ukuphulukisa esiqeshini sokukhohlisa nokukhaphela. Lo mfana akazange amnikeze ithuba lokungabaza izinhloso zakhe zangempela – wayengumlingisi onekhono. Ekugcineni, wamthanda ngokujulile izenzo zakhe ezinkulu, zothando kanye namagama amnandi othando kuyilapho kwakungeyona into kodwa amanga amakhulu. Kwamthatha izinyanga ezinhlanu ukuthola ukuthi wayehlanganyela amaphupho afanayo namathemba ekusasa elihle namanye amantombazane amathathu. Konke ngesizathu esisodwa nje, ufuna ucansi kodwa hhayi ubuhlobo.

Kuzwakala ujwayelekile? Ingabe lokhu kukushiya uzibuza, “Ingabe ubulili nje noma uyangithanda ngokothando?” Hhayi-ke, thola ukuthi yimaphi amafulegi abomvu okufanele uwabheke lapho ungaqiniseki ukuthi ungatshela kanjani ukuthi insizwa ifuna ubudlelwano noma i-hookup nje.

Ingabe unawe ngocansi nje?

Ingabe usahlezi ocingweni, ucabanga ngemfihlakalo enkulu yothando? Ukhona njengamanje nendoda ekushiya uzibuza ukuthi "Ingabe uyangithanda noma ufuna nje ukulala nami?" njalo uma nindawonye? Uhlangana, kundiza izinhlansi, futhi wenze ucansi oluhlabayo, kodwa lokho kuya kude. Uma uzama ukuxhuma ezingeni lomzwelo, lendoda ekade ikujolela kakhulu emizuzwini eyedlule ibonakala ikude. Ingabe lokho kukwenza uxwaye ukujola nabafana ngokuvamile?

Uma kukhona isiqinisekiso, awuwedwa. Kwenzeke kwabangcono kakhulu kithina - ukuwa ngekhanda kumfana obevele efuna ukungena ebhulukweni lethu. Into mayelana nobudlelwano obunjalo - uma ungabubiza kanjalo - ukuthi kunempicabadala ethile kwi-equation eyenza kube nzima ukucacisa izinhloso zangempela zendoda onayo.

URachel, umdwebi wezithombe oneminyaka engu-24, uthi: “Ubengalali endlini yami ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho sindawonye, ​​ngemva kokuthandana, wayegqoka futhi aphume efulethini phakathi nemizuzu eyishumi. emgwaqeni ngakusasa nje wayefuna ukulala nami futhi yilokho.

Kukhona oRachel abaningi abasizungezile abawela izicupho ezifanayo zothando ezinyakazisa ukuzethemba kwabo futhi zibaphushe onqenqemeni ukuyeka uthando. Uma ethi 'ingabe uyangithanda noma kuwubulili nje?' Umbuzo uthi ungalali ebusuku, uzothola impendulo yakho kulezi zimpawu eziyi-8 zokuxoxa:

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1. Uzungezwe abantu besifazane

Uma insizwa onayo izungeza abantu besifazane noma nini lapho izihambele, lokho kuwuphawu olucacile lomuntu othanda ucansi olukhululekile. Lokhu kuthambekela kokuhlala eduze kwabesifazane ngangokunokwenzeka kuyindlela yakhe yokuthola isenzo esithile, okungcono kakhulu nabalingani abahlukene. Angazama ukukuqinisekisa ukuthi “bangabangane nje” futhi azame nokukwenza uzizwe unecala ngokungamethembi. Kodwa kungenye yezibonakaliso afuna wena kuphela ngomzimba wakho.

2. Zonke izinkumbulo zenu ndawonye ziwubulili obuhle

Cabangani emuva kwezinye zezikhathi ezikhumbuleka kakhulu enizichithe ndawonye. Uma konke kubilisa ekwenzeni izinto zishise futhi zibe ne-steam phakathi kwamashidi, umbhalo usodongeni. Kubonakala sengathi awukaze ube nedethi efanele. Konke okwakhe imibono yezinsuku zothando njalo ukuzungeza emuva kokuhlala ekhaya, ukudakwa, nokwenza ucansi. Usafuna ukwazi impendulo ethi “Ingabe unami ukuze nje siye ocansini?” Siyakuzonda ukuba yibo abazokuphula, kodwa yebo!

3. Zonke izingxoxo zakho ziphenduka ezocansi

Kungenzeka ukuthi umtshela ngosuku lwakho noma unengxoxo evamile mayelana nohlelo lwe-TV, futhi ingxoxo iphenduka ucansi - njalo, ngaphandle kokwehluleka. Unalawa mandla omlingo ngandlela thize okugcwalisa yonke ingxoxo ngamazwi ocansi. Akuvamisile ukuthi umenze ahlanganyele engxoxweni ngesihloko esibucayi, ngisho nalapho ukhuluma ngokucindezeleka kwakho ngokomzwelo. Izimpawu afuna ukulala nawe zitholakala ngosonhlamvukazi, uma uthola lezi zimo ezilandelayo zihlobene kakhulu. Ungase uthi, “Ngeke ukukholelwe okwenzeke emsebenzini namuhla!” Uzophendula ngokushesha, “Ube manzi te uma ucabanga ngami?” Noma ungase uthi, “Masithathe u-ayisikhilimu.” Futhi uselungile ngokuthi “Oh! Ngingathanda ukudla okuphuma kuwe ngokuqinisekile.”

4. Unitshelile kanjalo

Mhlawumbe, lapho uqala ukuphola noma uxhumeke okokuqala, wakutshela ngokucacile ukuthi akabheki lutho olubucayi noma lwesikhathi eside kodwa awuzange ufunde kakhulu kukho. Manje, ukuba naye kukushiya nalokhu kungabaza okubeleselayo - “Angakuthanda kanjani ukulala nami kodwa ungangithandi? "

Nokho, uma uphinda uvakashela lezo zingxoxo zokuqala, ungase uyithole impendulo yakho. Futhi ezimweni ezinjalo, asinakumthwesa icala uma nje eseshilo inhloso yakhe yangempela kusenesikhathi. Noma kunjalo, uma ukungazweli kwakhe okuvamile kanye neqiniso lokuthi ufuna ubulili kodwa hhayi ubuhlobo kukukhathaza, khuluma naye ngokukhululekile mayelana nalokhu.

5. Uxhumana nawe kuphela uma efuna ukukuhlanganisa

Izingcingo zakho kuye aziphendulwa, nemibhalo yakho ayiphendulwa. Avele avuke anyamalale izinsuku alule isandla kuphela uma efuna ukuhlangana. Ukucasuka kwakho ngokungabi khona kwakhe kuhlangatshezwana nenkulumo engapheli ethi “Bengimatasa” noma “Awazi ukuthi bengibhekene nani” engagcini nje ngokuqeda imizwa yakho yentukuthelo noma yokucasuka kodwa futhi ikushiye ungaqiniseki ukuthi unalo yini ilungelo lencazelo.

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6. Zonke izinsuku zakho zihlanganisa ukuba sekhaya

Uthi, “Ufuna nje ukulala nami.” Asihlehle kancane sibone ukuthi kuyiqiniso yini lokho. Noma kunini uma uphakamisa ukuya kumamuvi, ufuna ukuhlala ekhaya futhi a-ode. Uma ufuna ukubloma nabangane bakho, uphakamisa ukuba nohlobo lwakusihlwa 'lwe-Netflix nokuphola'.

Mhlawumbe ezikhathini ezimbalwa zokuqala, uphinde wajabulela izikhathi eziyimfihlo nokusondelana. Kodwa manje njengoba isiphenduka iphethini yemisebenzi efanayo yasekamelweni elidala, iyakucasula. Uma uhlangana kuphela endaweni yakhe noma eyakho futhi zonke izinsuku zakho ziholela ocansini, akungabazeki ukuthi ukuyo. okocansi nje.

7. Awazi lutho ngaye

Wake wabelana nawe ngezindaba ezincane ezinhle kusukela ebuntwaneni bakhe? Ukhulele kuphi? Ubani owayengumngane wakhe omkhulu esikoleni esiphakeme? Iyiphi ifilimu ayithanda kakhulu? Iliphi iqembu le-baseball alisekelayo? Ngicabanga ukuthi uzithola ungenalutho ngokuphelele uma kukhulunywa ngale nzwabethi yomuntu siqu mayelana nendoda yakho. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uyakwazi konke ukunyakaza kwakhe embhedeni njengokungemuva kwesandla sakho. Khona-ke, 'ingabe uyangithanda noma ufuna nje ukulala nami?' umbuzo uphendula kakhulu. Awucabangi?

8. Akakakwazisi kubangani bakhe noma ahlangane nabakho

Uma usunesikhathi eside nizikhipha kodwa engakaze akwethule kubangani bakhe noma avume ukuhlangana nowakho, lokhu kuwuphawu lwakudala lobuhlobo obuntekenteke. Uzibuza ngokungenathemba, "Ingabe ucansi nje noma ungithanda ngempela?" Isizathu sangempela sokuthi ubuhlobo bakho abulandeli ukuqhubeka kwemvelo kungase kube ukuthi umfana wakho ukuyo nje ucansi. Akasiboni isidingo sokusebenzisa isikhathi namandla akhe ekuhlakuleleni a ubuhlobo nawe ezingeni elijulile.

Amantombazane, Ufuna Okungaphezu Kocansi Nje

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma umfana ekwazisa, uzozama kakhulu ukwakha ubuhlobo obujulile nawe. Uma ekuwe ngempela, uzoba umngane futhi umngane ngaphandle kokuba isithandwa, kunomuntu ofuna ukuxhunyanwa noma izitendi zobusuku obubodwa kuphela. Uyazi ukuthi ufuna okungaphezu nje kocansi uma:

1. Ufuna ukuba nezingxoxo zangempela nawe

Yazi ukuthi umfana uyakuthanda uma zonke izingxoxo zakho zingaphenduki zibe izingxoxo zocansi ezisheshayo. Ziningi izinto okumele kukhulunywe ngazo phansi kwelanga ngaphandle nje kokuthi kubekwe kanjani. Ikakhulukazi, uma esothandweni, ngokuqinisekile uzokubuza ngombala wakho owuthandayo noma mayelana nesitolo othole kuso i-LBD yakho.

Kwathi mhla uphatheke kabi ngento eyenzeke emndenini wakho, ubevele angene ephethe u-ayisikhilimu ahlale eceleni kwakho akulalele ngesineke sonke emhlabeni. Iqiniso lokuthi uzimisele ukwazi ingaphakathi lakho lingenye yezimpawu ezinhle kakhulu azifuna ngaphezu kocansi.

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2. Uyaziqonda izinkinga zakho zempilo yezocansi

Impilo yezocansi izinkinga zibucayi futhi zivamile kubantu abanezitho zangasese. Kusukela ekujuleni kokuya esikhathini kuye ezinkingeni eziyinkimbinkimbi njenge-PCOD, i-ovarian cyst, noma ukuya ocansini okubuhlungu, sonke sibe nesabelo sethu kulezi zinkinga. Lapho insizwa ikukhathalela ngokujulile, izoba nobubele ngalelo gciwane le-urinary tract noma izinkinga zokugcoba. Esikhundleni sokukuphoqa ukuba ungene kuwo, ubekwenza ubone udokotela, akuyise emtholampilo bese ulinda kuze kufike usuku lapho uzizwa ungcono khona.

3. Akakwesabi ukuba sengozini phambi kwakho

Uma ekuthanda, ngokuqinisekile uzodedela ubudoda obunobuthi. Ngisho noma ungakuqapheli lokho, uyiqhawe lakho - hhayi uhlobo oluqinile oluhlale lulangazelela ukulwa - kunalokho omnandi ozokunakekela futhi acule. Ikati elithambile uma ugula. Uzoqaphela izimpawu ezinhle ezinjalo ukuthi ufuna okungaphezu kocansi uma engangabazi ukukuvulela isifuba ngobuhlungu bakhe obungokomzwelo kanye nezingxabano zangaphakathi. Abafana bayakhala futhi uma ekwenzela, qiniseka ukuthi unendoda efanele.

4. Uzimisele ngempela ukukwazisa emndenini wakhe futhi ahlangane nowakho

Uke waba nezinsuku eziyishumi futhi usevele wahlongoza umbono wokuhlangana nabazali bomunye nomunye. Yingoba ebonile ukuthi yiyona ndaba yangempela lena futhi uzimisele kakhulu ukukukhombisa ukuthi uzimisele kangakanani ngalobu budlelwano. Noma ngabe umndeni wakhe unenkinga ngawe nobabili nithandana, injani impilo ngaphandle kwedrama yomndeni eyi-quintessential? Insizwa ekuthandayo izimisele ukuthatha yonke leyo ngozi, ngisho noma ibiza ukugconwa noma ukuthathelwa izinyathelo. Uzokumela, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kwenzekani, futhi abambelele ezinqumweni zakhe.

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5. Imvume yakho ibalulekile kuye

Lo mfana uyayazisa imizwa yakho, futhi ngisho nama-hormone akhe ethukuthele, uyazi ukuthi angakuceli nini ukuthi uzame leso sikhundla esisha socansi. Nobabili nenza izinto nikhumbula ukunethezeka nesifiso somunye umuntu. Kude nezimpawu ezesabekayo ufuna wena kuphela ngomzimba wakho, ukuhlonipha kwakhe imvume yakho kuyisenzo esihle kakhulu ongasithola embhedeni. Uzizwa ubalulekile ngemibono yakho lapho othile ehlola nawe ngaphambi kokuyithatha kalula ukuthi nawe kufanele ube nesithakazelo ezintweni ezifanayo.

6. Ukuthumelela umyalezo ukuze akutshele ngezinto ezincane empilweni

Ngenxa yokuthi ubalulekile, ufuna wazi konke ngaye. Akalokothi aphuthelwe yithuba lokukwazisa ngezinqumo zakhe zokuphila noma leyo ntombazane yakwamakhelwane emshayayo. Ungcono umona nothandwa, kunokungazi futhi oyisiwula.

7. Uyakuncoma ngezinto eziningi

Akungabazeki ukuthi umuhle. Kodwa insizwa okuthandayo ikubona ngokunye. Ngawo wonke ama-stretch marks akho, izinwele ezingcolile, nezinkathazo, uyakuthanda futhi akashiyi ithuba lokukwenza. ukukugezela ngezincomo ezinhle nsuku zonke. Izwi lakho elihle noma lokho kunyuswa okuncane kumnika isamba esengeziwe sokushesha futhi akakwazi ukulinda ukukutshela ukuthi uziqhenya kangakanani ngawe.

8. Ufuna ukuchitha isikhathi esihle nawe

Ngaphandle kocansi, akukho lutho olungaba luhle kakhulu uma ehlela usuku noma iholide lempelasonto nawe. Mhlawumbe aze alungiselele amakhekhe akhe akhethekile anobuso obumomothekayo ukuze alethe ukumamatheka okumnandi ebusweni bakho ekuseni. Futhi phakathi nobusuku obude, obubandayo, uthola ukududuzeka ezingalweni zakhe lapho uzisonge kusofa futhi ubuka amafilimu.

Ngaphandle uma nobabili nisekhasini elilodwa futhi kulona nje ngocansi, ukuba nomuntu ofuna ukungena ebhulukweni kuphela kuba yinto enobuthi. Qaphela lezi zeluleko ezicashile, funa uwele kumuntu ongalungile.

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Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.