Ungaxhumana Kanjani Nomlingani Wakho Ezingeni Elijulile - Uchwepheshe Uyasiza

Amandla anoma yibuphi ubuhlobo ancike esisekelweni sabo. Ekuqaleni kobudlelwano bami bamanje, ngacabanga ukuthi sizofika esicongweni maduze nje. Futhi phakathi namasonto ambalwa, ngase ngivele ngizibuza ukuthi ngingaxhumana kanjani nomlingani wakho ezingeni elijulile. Uyabona, ngizicabangela njengesazi sefilosofi esithanda ukuzindla ngempilo nobuciko. Umlingani wami, ngakolunye uhlangothi, ungumuntu wezwe, izinyawo ezitshalwe ngokuqinile emhlabathini nemicabango egxile ebhizinisini lokuphila. Yilokho okwadala ukungezwani phakathi kwethu. Ngakho kwadingeka sibhekane nezinkinga ezithile zisuka nje.

Sesikushilo lokho, asizange sikuvumele lokhu ukuthi kuphazamise ubuhlobo bethu noma uthando lwethu. Sasazi ukuthi sifuna ukwenza lo msebenzi ngakho-ke senza umzamo wokuxhuma ezingeni elijulile. Lapho ngiqhubeka ngikhuluma naye ngezinto engizithandayo, kulapho ngathola khona okwengeziwe ngobuntu bakhe obuphansi, obuhluke kakhulu kweyami. Kodwa lokho akuzange kungenze ngimthande kancane.

Eqinisweni, ngaqala ukwazisa indlela yakhe yokubuka impilo nokuqonda ukuthi ubuchopho bakhe busebenza kanjani. Lokhu kwajulisa ukuzimisela kwami ​​​​ukuba nokuxhumana okujulile ebudlelwaneni. Lo mbuzo wangenza ngaqaphela ukuthi kungenzeka kube nabanye abaningi abahamba emanzini afanayo. Ndawonye, ​​ake sibheke ngobuqotho ukuthi ungaxhumana kanjani nomlingani wakho ezingeni elijulile, ngokuqonda okuvela kusosayensi wengqondo osebenzayo uNandita Rambhia (BA Psychology), ogxile ezindabeni zokuhambisana, izinkinga zobuzali, kanye nokwelulekwa kwabantu abangaphandle komshado.

Kusho Ukuthini Ukuba Nokuxhumana Okujulile Ebudlelwaneni?

Into yokuqala engayifunda ekilasini lami leSociology ukuthi abantu bayizilwane zomphakathi. Njengoba ngivumelana nalelo phuzu, ngicabanga ukuthi kunento eyodwa esihlukanisa nezilwane, yiqiniso lokuthi sizalwa ngezindlela ezingafani nezindlela zokuphila nezikhona. Wake wazibuza ukuthi kungani abantwana abazalwa esibelethweni esisodwa, abafika emhlabeni owodwa, babe nobuntu nezimfanelo ezihluke kangaka? Into eyodwa esihlukanisa nezilwane ukuthi asifani sonke. Siletha ezethu i-idiosyncrasies kanye nezinselele kulo mhlaba, okwenza ukuthandana nomunye umuntu kube nzima nakakhulu ukuzulazula.

Yingakho kuba nzima ukwazi umlingani wakho ngezinga elijulile. Ukuba nokuxhumana okujulile nomuntu kusho ukumqonda ngokugcwele, ukuzwelana naye, nokwazi ukuthi kungani enjengoba enjalo, okuhlanganisa nobuhlungu bakhe bangaphambilini, ukwesaba kwakhe, amandla akhe, ubuthakathaka bakhe, nakho konke ngaye ngaphakathi, kuyilapho futhi emnika isikhala sakhe somuntu siqu . Ukuxhumana okudlula okunye ukuxhumana kwabantu.

Ngokusho kukaNandita , “Ukusondelana nomuntu omthandayo nakanjani kuzosiza ekuqiniseni ubudlelwano bakho nomlingani wakho futhi kunezici eziningana ngaphandle kokuba nothando naye noma ukuzijabulisa ndawonye. Lokhu kukodwa ngeke kuphendule umbuzo wakho wokuthi ungaxhumana kanjani nomlingani wakho ezingeni elijulile. Zama ukusondelana naye emazingeni amaningi. Isibonelo, ungaxoxa naye ngezinkinga zakho ezihlobene nomsebenzi. Uma ungenazo izinto ozithandayo ezifanayo, hlanganyela ezithakazelweni zakhe futhi wakhe uxhumano olujulile nesoka lakho/intombi/umlingani wakho. Kodwa kuyinto okufanele usebenzele kuyo njalo.”

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Ungaxhumana Kanjani Nomlingani Wakho Ezingeni Elijulile - Izinyathelo Eziyisi-7 Ezilula

Ukuthi wena nophathina wakho nazana kudala akusho ukuthi ningayeka ukufunda izinto ezintsha ngabo. Eqinisweni, akunandaba ukuthi seninesikhathi eside kangakanani nindawonye. Uzohlala ufunda isahluko esisha ngabo, upheqa ikhasi elisha, noma ubabone ngendlela entsha ongakaze uyenze ngaphambilini. Uthando lungaba njalo, ngakho-ke lungiselela ukumangala! Kodwa lokho akuyona into embi ngempela. Empeleni akuyona into embi nhlobo. Ikakhulukazi uma usuwazi ubuciko bokuthi ungaxhumana kanjani nomlingani wakho ezingeni elijulile.

Ngake ngafunda isisho esishukumisa ingqondo kakhulu. Sithi, “Ukuthanda umuntu isikhathi eside kuwukudlula emingcwabeni eyinkulungwane yabantu ayeyibo.” Yeka ukuthi kuthinta inhliziyo kanjani! Abantu, ukucabanga kwabo, izinto abazithandayo nabangazithandi, konke kuyashintshashintsha. Asikwazi ukubiza noma yini kule mpilo esheshayo ngokuthi ihlala injalo. Indlela esikwazi ngayo ukwakha isibopho esiqinile, esingantengi naphezu kwayo yonke imithwalo nokungazethembi ebudlelwaneni yiyona ebalulekile.

Ukuze uxhumane ngokomqondo nomlingani wakho, udinga ukuzizwa uvikelekile futhi uphephile lapho ekhona. Udinga ukwabelana ngemfudumalo nomuzwa wenduduzo ongeke uyizwe kwenye indawo. Awukwazi ukwakha ubudlelwano obujulile nesoka lakho noma intombi yakho noma ngisho nowakwakho uma omunye wenu eveza ukungabi nandaba. Uma ufuna ngempela ukuqinisa ukuxhumana kwakho ne-SO yakho, dlula ezinyathelweni eziyisikhombisa zokuthi ungaxhumana kanjani nophathina wakho ezingeni elijulile bese uzama ukuzisebenzisa ebuhlotsheni bakho:

1. Ukuxhumana kuyisihluthulelo

Uxhumana kanjani nomuntu ngokujulile esikhathini esifushane? Angikwazi ukugcizelela ukubaluleka kokuxhumana nomlingani wakho ngokwanele, ikakhulukazi uma nobabili nifuna ukukwenza ngokushesha nangesikhathi esifushane. Ukuxhumana akusho ukukhipha noma ukukhipha imicabango yakho engahlungiwe futhi ulindele ukuthi omunye umuntu aziphathe kahle ngakho. Kusho ukuba nengxoxo ehlanganisa ukwethembeka okukhulu. Futhi ukuxhumana akusho nje ukukhuluma, kusho nokulalela.

Uma sikhuluma kabanzi, ukuxhumana kuhlanganisa ama-C amahlanu: acacile, amafushane, aphoqayo, anelukuluku, nobubele. Ukukhulumisana ukuze nje ulalele lokho omunye umuntu akushoyo, ngaphandle kokuhlanganyela okuvela ohlangothini lwakho, ngeke kukusize lapho umgomo wakho ufunda indlela yokwakha ukuxhumana okujulile nomlingani wakho. 

Buza imibuzo bese unquma ukuthi umazi kahle kangakanani umlingani wakho . “Njengoba ubuhlobo bukhula, kubalulekile ukuvuleleka kunoma yiluphi uhlobo lwengxoxo, izimpikiswano, kanye nokungavumelani. Ukwamukela ukungavumelani kwakho kuzokusiza ukuthi umazi umlingani wakho ngokujulile. Ukuzama ukuqonda ukuthi kuvelaphi kuzokusiza wakhe uxhumano olujulile nomlingani wakho,” kusho uNandita.

2. Ungaxhumana kanjani nophathina wakho ezingeni elijulile? Yiba nozwela

Lapho sihlala ebhamuzeni, siyancipha uzwela kwabanye abantu. Ukuba nobubele kumlingani wakho kuyimpendulo yokuthi ungakha kanjani ukuxhumana okujulile nomlingani wakho. Ukuqonda kuyisango lothando nobubele uma ufuna ngempela ukuxhumana nowesifazane noma owesilisa. Ukuze uqonde ngokuphelele umlingani wakho, udinga ukwazi umehluko phakathi kozwela nokuzwelana.

Uzwela lungakusondeza kumlingani wakho kanti uzwela lunganciphisa amandla noma ludumaze umlingani wakho obalulekile. Zibeke ezicathulweni zakhe lapho uzama ukwazi umlingani wakho ngezinga elijulile. Ukubonisa ukungabi nazwelo kungagcina kubhidlize ubuhlobo bakho. UNandita uthi, “Xhumana nomlingani wakho ngezinga elijulile kunokwabelana ngobuhlobo obungasho lutho naye. Kunezici zempilo yethu esingazabelani ngazo nabanye, kodwa kubalulekile ukukhuluma nomlingani wakho ngazo.

Lokhu kungase kuhlanganise izinto eziyimfihlo kakhulu kuwe futhi ezingakuphathi kahle njengezindaba zomndeni, ukuhlukumezeka kwasebuntwaneni, ukungazethembi komuntu siqu, noma izinkinga zempilo yengqondo. Uma ufuna ukuxhumana nophathina wakho ngezinga elijulile, sekuyisikhathi sokwehlisa ukuqapha kwakho. Futhi, ungalinge uyikhiphe imizwa yabo lapho beqala ukukuvulela isifuba. Qonda ukuthi basukaphi nezidingo zabo futhi ucabangele ukuthi basukaphi nezidingo zabo."

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3. Qala ukwabelana ngobungozi bomunye nomunye

Ukuba sengozini ukuzimisela komuntu ukufaka imizwa yakhe engozini ngokuyiveza komunye umuntu. Kuphakathi kwezidingo eziningi ezibalulekile ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni . Ukwabelana ngemicabango yakho ejulile nokuvumela i-SO yakho ukuthi igxile ezintweni ezikuthinta kakhulu nezikuzwisa ubuhlungu uhlobo lokuvuleka ngokomzwelo okuzokusiza kahle uma uzama ukuthola ukuthi ungaxhumana kanjani nomlingani wakho ezingeni elijulile.

Mayelana nokuba sengozini kanye nokuvulela isithandwa sakho isifuba, uNandita uthi, "Yiba sengozini. Kungenye yezinto ezinhle kakhulu ngoba uxhumana naye ezingeni elijulile. Yabelana ngokungazethembi kwakho futhi ukwenze ngokukhululekile ngangokunokwenzeka. Zama futhi ukhulume ngezinto ezikubumbile esikhathini esidlule. Uma unokuthile okuhlukumezekile noma ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo, zizwe ukhululekile ukwabelana ngakho ngokukhululekile nomlingani wakho, wazi ukuthi udinga ukuxhumana kanjani naye. yiqiniso ngemizwa yakho futhi ubonise ukukhathalela umlingani wakho.

"Ngesikhathi esifanayo, kubalulekile ukuthi uthembe umlingani wakho. Yakha uxhumano olujulile nesoka lakho noma intombi yakho ngokumethemba ngokuphelele. Ungazama ngisho nokuzivocavoca kokwethembana ukuze uthuthukise ubudlelwano ukuze uqinise isibopho senu. Kuphela uma umethemba umlingani wakho lapho uzokwazi khona ukwabelana ngobuthakathaka bakho. Uma esengozini futhi ehlanganyela imicabango yakhe ejulile noma izindaba zakhe zesikhathi esidlule, ungahluleli. Ungenzi izitatimende zokwahlulela ngokuthi lokhu kubi noma lokhu akuyona into efanele ukuyizwa. Mane wamukele lokho okushiwo umlingani wakho."

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4. Bheka umlingani wakho esimweni sakhe

Ukuze wakhe ukuxhumana okujulile ne-SO yakho, udinga ukukubona. Babuke benza izinto abazishisekelayo. Ekuqaleni, ngacabanga ukuthi iyaxaka indlela umngane wami engibuka ngayo ngifunda futhi ngibhala. Wayevele angigqolozele lapho ngiphenya amakhasi noma ngibhala nge-laptop yami. Ezinsukwini zokuqala zobuhlobo bethu, wayephendukela ngokushesha kwenye indawo lapho ebanjwa engigqolozele.

Lapho ubuhlobo bethu sebujulile, waqala ukukwenza obala. Manje akasabi uma ngibheka phezulu encwadini yami futhi amehlo ethu ehlangana. Kusangenza ngibe namahloni . Waqaphela ukuthi nginyakazisa ubuso bami wabe esekhomba ukuthi ngicwayiza kakhulu lapho ngifunda noma ngibhala. Kuyindlela esondelene kakhulu necashile yokuba nokuxhumana okujulile ebudlelwaneni.

Uxhumana kanjani nomuntu ngokujulile esikhathini esifushane? Zibuze le mibuzo ebalulekile, futhi yilokho okuzokusondeza kuyo. Ithini into yozakwenu? Ibhola? Udlala insimbi yomculo? Ukubhaka? Ukupheka? Noma ngabe kuyini, hamba uyobabuka besebenza futhi uzokwazi ngokuzenzakalelayo ukuthi ungaxhumana kanjani nophathina wakho ezingeni elijulile. Eqinisweni, uzoqala ukuzizwa usondelene nabo kusukela ngaleso sikhathi.

5. Ungaxhumana kanjani nomlingani wakho ezingeni elijulile? Uhlale ebuzwa imibuzo evulekile

Ukubuza imibuzo efanele ngesikhathi esifanele kungakusiza ukuthi umqonde kangcono umlingani wakho. Buza imibuzo ukuze nixoxe ngokusuka enhliziyweni nomuntu omthandayo. Ngiyazi ukuthi sonke simatasa ngezimpilo zethu… imisebenzi, ukukhokha izikweletu, ukunakekela impilo yethu yengqondo nokunye. Ungasebenzisi le mithwalo yemfanelo njengezaba, kunalokho zama ukuyixazulula.

Kubaluleke kakhulu ukubuza imibuzo futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, ukuthatha isikhathi sokubabonisa lolo hlobo lwentshisekelo. Ngokucabangela indlela engangimazi kancane ngayo umlingani wami nendlela esimatasa ngayo ekuphileni kwethu kobuchwepheshe, nganquma ukuthatha isinyathelo sokubuza imibuzo evulelekayo. Ngiyababuza ukuthi uma sihamba ngemoto siyothenga igilosa noma sihlale phansi sidle. Noma ngabe kwenzeka ngezikhawu noma ngokungahleliwe, kungumzamo engihlale ngiwenza.

Ukubuza imibuzo enjalo kwangisiza ukuba ngiqonde ukuthi kungani athatha umthwalo wemfanelo womzali owayesele ngemva kokushona komunye. Ngabona ukuthi akumina ngedwa ongene kulobu budlelwano nenqwaba yemithwalo yomuntu siqu nosizi. "Phushanani endleleni efanele futhi nisizane ukuba babe inguqulo yabo engcono. Bakhuthaze. Bakhuthaze. Buza imibuzo ewubuphukuphuku nehlekisayo. Buza imibuzo esontekile. Ibenze bacabange, futhi uzenze ucabange. Leyo yimpendulo yakho elula yokuthi ungaxhumana kanjani nomlingani wakho ezingeni elijulile," kusho uNandita.

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6. Yakhani izinkumbulo ezinhle ndawonye

“Zamani ukuhleka ndawonye kakhulu. Yibani yisiwula. Yenzani izinto ezizonisondeza komunye nomunye. Dalani izinkumbulo futhi nibe ngokwenu. Dansani ndawonye, ​​nibukele ama-movie, futhi nizivocavoce ndawonye. Jabulani kuleso sikhala esingesakho futhi nisenze sibe yigugu ngangokunokwenzeka,” kusho uNandita eluleka ngendlela yokuxhumana nomlingani wakho ezingeni elijulile. Ngokufanayo, uma uzibuza ukuthi uxhumana kanjani nothile ngokujulile ngesikhathi esifushane, ukwenza izinkumbulo ezintsha kuyindlela, futhi ngokuqinisekile kubalulekile kubo bonke ubudlelwano.

Eqinisweni, ngisho noma ninobudlelwano bebanga elide, ningajulisa ubudlelwano ngombhalo namakholi inqobo nje uma nichitha isikhathi esihle nobabili. Ukuthanda umlingani wakho ngokujulile kuba lula uma unesiqu esigcwele izinkumbulo. Izinkumbulo ongabheka emuva bese umomotheka futhi uzikhumbule lapho zingekho.

Tholani izinto enizilibazisa ngazo, nihambe ngezinsuku, nidle konke ukudla ndawonye uma nobabili nisekhaya, futhi nijulise ubuhlobo benu nomlingani wakho. Ebudlelwaneni bebanga elide, sebenzisa amandla ezikhala ze-inthanethi ukuze nixhume, nihlekisane, futhi nidale izinkumbulo njengoba ubungenza mathupha. Lapho wena nophathina wakho ninamandla emicabangweni yomunye, kulapho nobabili nizozizwa niqinile njengombhangqwana.

7. Hlolani izinhlangothi zenu zocansi ndawonye

Manje, izinto sezizoba mnandi kakhulu kodwa masiqhubeke sigxile esicini sakho esithinta imizwa esikusiza ukuthi ube nesibopho nomlingani wakho ezingeni elijulile futhi elingokomoya. Lapho ucabanga ukuya ocansini, ungasho yini ukuthi mhlawumbe “ukusondelana” kuyinto yokuqala efika engqondweni yakho? Ngoba njalo ngicabanga ngocansi njengendawo yokuzizwa ngibonwa ngempela, ngithandwa, futhi ngikhululekile ukuziveza ngokugcwele.

Imibhangqwana eminingi iba yizisulu zobulili obuyisidina ebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside. Gwema kukho ngokwandisa nokuhlola izifiso zobulili zomunye nomunye. Vula futhi uthembeke ngezidingo zakho. Uma ubuza ukuthi ungaxhumana kanjani nomlingani wakho ezingeni elijulile, bese uvumela ukuthi uhlole amaphupho akho nomlingani wakho ngaphandle kwamahloni futhi uzinikele ngokugcwele ezifisweni ezijulile zomunye nomunye. Kuzokusiza ukuthi uxhumane ngokomqondo nophathina wakho futhi wengeze ulwazi olujulile, ngokungafani nanoma yini owake wazizwa.

Ukuba Nokuxhumana Okujulile Nomlingani Wakho Kusiza Kanjani Ubudlelwano Bakho?

Kuqinisekile ukuthi ukuba nokuxhumana okujulile, okuhlala isikhathi eside nomlingani wakho ngokuqinisekile kuhle ebuhlotsheni bakho. Kodwa kwenzeka kanjani ngempela lokho? Ngabe ubudlelwano bakho buthuthuka kangakanani ngemuva kwakho? Nazi izindlela ezimbalwa:

• Ukuba mnene ngesikhathi sokungqubuzana: Lapho unozwela nokufudumala okwengeziwe kumlingani wakho, kusobala ukuthi kuwubuwula izimpikiswano zobudlelwano ngeke isahlupha impilo yakho yothando. Uma usubona umlingani wakho ukuthi ungubani ngempela futhi uqonda imikhuba yakhe, ngeke uthambekele ekuthatheni umzila othukuthele ezingxabano futhi kunalokho uthathe indlela eyakhayo.
• Kukhona ukuqonda kangcono ukuziphatha kwabo: Manje njengoba usuqedile ikharikhulamu mayelana nokuhlukumezeka okudlule kozakwenu, imilando yobudlelwano, njll., ungase ukwazi nje ukuqonda kangcono ukusabela kwabo kanye nezindlela zokubhekana nazo. Kungani bengawuthandi kangaka umqondo womshado? Mhlawumbe ngenxa yokuthi abazali babo babengenawo omuhle. Kungani bengalokothi bakhulume nge-ex yabo? Mhlawumbe ngenxa yokuthi owake wabaphatha kabi ngendlela okungekho muntu owake waba ngayo ngaphambili
• Sincane indawo yokungazethembi: Uma uzizwa usengozini ngokuphelele kunothile futhi ukhululekile uma kuziwa ekukhulumeni naye, uzizwa wamukelekile, uthandwa, futhi unakekelwa. Lokhu ngokuqinisekile kuhamba indlela ende ekusizeni ukuthi uchithe ukungazethembi kwakho ngakubo kanye nobudlelwano
• Nizozizwa nidonseka komunye nomunye: Yebo, ukuxhumana okujulile kunganikeza indlela yokukhangwa kazibuthe. Lapho uqala ukusebenza ebuhlotsheni futhi uzama ngokuzimisela ukuthuthukisa nokujulisa leso sibopho, uzophinde uzwe uthando nokukhangwa ngobuningi.
• Ukufunda izinto ezintsha: Ukukhula kwakho komuntu ngamunye nakho kuzoqhutshwa kuphela uma ufaka lolu hlobo umzamo ebudlelwaneni. Ngeke nje ufunde izinto ngomlingani wakho, uzofunda nemibono emisha nezinto ezintsha ngomhlaba, okuzokusiza ukuthi ukhule njengomuntu.

Ungalokothi uyeke ukuba nelukuluku ngomlingani wakho. Khuluma ukuze uxhumane, uxoxe futhi uqonde ukukhathazeka nokuthokoza komlingani wakho. Impilo ayihlali ifana nothingo kanye nokukhanya kwelanga, uma benenkinga, yiba lapho ukuze ubasize. Ukuthethelela ebudlelwaneni kubalulekile. Ungabambeli amagqubu isikhathi eside ngoba kuzonciphisa ukuzibophezela kwakho komunye nomunye. Nqoba ubunzima nezinselele ndawonye njengombhangqwana bese niphuma niqine kunanini ngaphambili.

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