Ungaxhumana Kanjani Nomlingani Wakho Ezingeni Elijulile - Uchwepheshe Uyasiza

Amandla anoma yibuphi ubuhlobo ancike esisekelweni sabo. Ekuqaleni kobudlelwano bami bamanje, ngacabanga ukuthi sizofika esicongweni maduze nje. Futhi phakathi namasonto ambalwa, ngase ngivele ngizibuza ukuthi ngingaxhumana kanjani nomlingani wakho ezingeni elijulile. Uyabona, ngizicabangela njengesazi sefilosofi esithanda ukuzindla ngempilo nobuciko. Umlingani wami, ngakolunye uhlangothi, ungumuntu wezwe, izinyawo ezitshalwe ngokuqinile emhlabathini nemicabango egxile ebhizinisini lokuphila. Yilokho okwadala ukungezwani phakathi kwethu. Ngakho kwadingeka sibhekane nezinkinga ezithile zisuka nje.

Sesikushilo lokho, asizange sikuvumele lokhu ukuthi kuphazamise ubuhlobo bethu noma uthando lwethu. Sasazi ukuthi sifuna ukwenza lo msebenzi ngakho-ke senza umzamo wokuxhuma ezingeni elijulile. Lapho ngiqhubeka ngikhuluma naye ngezinto engizithandayo, kulapho ngathola khona okwengeziwe ngobuntu bakhe obuphansi, obuhluke kakhulu kweyami. Kodwa lokho akuzange kungenze ngimthande kancane.

Eqinisweni, ngaqala ukwazisa indlela yakhe yokuphila nokuqonda indlela ubuchopho bakhe obusebenza ngayo. Lokhu kwajulisa ukuzimisela kwami ​​ukuba nokuxhumana okujulile ebudlelwaneni. Lesi sifiso singenze ngabona ukuthi kungenzeka baningi abanye abadabula emanzini afanayo. Ndawonye, ​​ake sibheke ngobuqotho ukuthi ungaxhumana kanjani nophathina wakho ezingeni elijulile, ngemininingwane evela kusazi sokusebenza kwengqondo. Nandita Rambhia (BA Psychology), ogxile ezindabeni zokuhambisana, izindaba zokukhulisa umzali, kanye nokwelulekwa kwabathandana nabangaphandle komshado.

Kusho Ukuthini Ukuba Nokuxhumana Okujulile Ebudlelwaneni?

Into yokuqala engayifunda ekilasini lami leSociology ukuthi abantu bayizilwane zomphakathi. Njengoba ngivumelana nalelo phuzu, ngicabanga ukuthi kunento eyodwa esihlukanisa nezilwane, yiqiniso lokuthi sizalwa ngezindlela ezingafani nezindlela zokuphila nezikhona. Wake wazibuza ukuthi kungani abantwana abazalwa esibelethweni esisodwa, abafika emhlabeni owodwa, babe nobuntu nezimfanelo ezihluke kangaka? Into eyodwa esihlukanisa nezilwane ukuthi asifani sonke. Siletha ezethu i-idiosyncrasies kanye nezinselele kulo mhlaba, okwenza ukuthandana nomunye umuntu kube nzima nakakhulu ukuzulazula.

Yingakho kuba nzima ukwazi umlingani wakho ngezinga elijulile. Ukuba nokuxhumana okujulile nothile kusho ukumqonda ngokugcwele, ukuzwelana naye, nokwazi ukuthi kungani benjalo, okuhlanganisa ukuhlukumezeka kwabo kwesikhathi esidlule, ukwesaba kwabo, amandla abo, ubuthakathaka babo, nakho konke okuphathelene nabo ngaphakathi ngaphandle, kuyilapho ubanikeza. indawo yabo yomuntu siqu. Ukuxhumana okudlula okunye ukuxhumana kwabantu. 

Ngokuvumelana ne UNandita, “Ukusondelana nomuntu wakho obalulekile kuzosiza ngokuqinisekile ukuqinisa ubudlelwano bakho nophathina wakho futhi kunezici ezimbalwa kukho ngaphandle nje kokuthandana naye noma ukuzijabulisa ndawonye. Lokhu kukodwa ngeke kuphendule umbuzo wakho wokuthi ungaxhumana kanjani nophathina wakho ezingeni elijulile. Zama ukusondelana naye ngamaleveli amaningi. Ngokwesibonelo, ungakhuluma nabo ngezinkinga zakho eziphathelene nomsebenzi. Uma ungenayo ingxenye ethile nezinto abazithandayo ezijulile, yenza ubudlelwano obunjalo nezinto abazithandayo zijule. isoka/intombi/umlingani Kodwa yinto okufanele usebenzele kuyo ngokungaguquki.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izizathu eziyi-11 zokuthi Kungani Kufanele Uthandane Nendawo Yakho Ye-Polar

Ungaxhumana Kanjani Nomlingani Wakho Ezingeni Elijulile - Izinyathelo Eziyisi-7 Ezilula

Ukuthi wena nophathina wakho nazana kudala akusho ukuthi ningayeka ukufunda izinto ezintsha ngabo. Eqinisweni, akunandaba ukuthi seninesikhathi eside kangakanani nindawonye. Uzohlala ufunda isahluko esisha ngabo, upheqa ikhasi elisha, noma ubabone ngendlela entsha ongakaze uyenze ngaphambilini. Uthando lungaba njalo, ngakho-ke lungiselela ukumangala! Kodwa lokho akuyona into embi ngempela. Empeleni akuyona into embi nhlobo. Ikakhulukazi uma usuwazi ubuciko bokuthi ungaxhumana kanjani nomlingani wakho ezingeni elijulile.

Ngake ngafunda isisho esishukumisa ingqondo. Kufana nalokhu, "Ukuthanda umuntu isikhathi eside kuwukudlula emingcwabeni eyinkulungwane yabantu ababeyibo." Yeka indlela okubuhlungu ngayo! Abantu, ukucabanga kwabo, abakuthandayo nabangakuthandi, konke kunamandla. Asikwazi ukulebula noma yini kule mpilo esheshayo njengehlala njalo. Indlela esiphatha ngayo ukwakha isibopho esiqinile, esingantengantengi naphezu kwayo yonke imithwalo kanye ukungazethembi ebudlelwaneni yikho okubalulekile.

Ukuze uxhumane ngokomqondo nomlingani wakho, udinga ukuzizwa uvikelekile futhi uphephile lapho ekhona. Udinga ukwabelana ngemfudumalo nomuzwa wenduduzo ongeke uyizwe kwenye indawo. Awukwazi ukwakha ubudlelwano obujulile nesoka lakho noma intombi yakho noma ngisho nowakwakho uma omunye wenu eveza ukungabi nandaba. Uma ufuna ngempela ukuqinisa ukuxhumana kwakho ne-SO yakho, dlula ezinyathelweni eziyisikhombisa zokuthi ungaxhumana kanjani nophathina wakho ezingeni elijulile bese uzama ukuzisebenzisa ebuhlotsheni bakho:

1. Ukuxhumana kuyisihluthulelo

Uxhumana kanjani nomuntu ngokujulile esikhathini esifushane? Angikwazi ukugcizelela ukubaluleka kokuxhumana nomlingani wakho ngokwanele, ikakhulukazi uma nobabili nifuna ukukwenza ngokushesha nangesikhathi esifushane. Ukuxhumana akusho ukukhipha noma ukukhipha imicabango yakho engahlungiwe futhi ulindele ukuthi omunye umuntu aziphathe kahle ngakho. Kusho ukuba nengxoxo ehlanganisa ukwethembeka okukhulu. Futhi ukuxhumana akusho nje ukukhuluma, kusho nokulalela.

Uma sikhuluma kabanzi, ukuxhumana kuhlanganisa ama-C amahlanu: acacile, amafushane, aphoqayo, anelukuluku, nobubele. Ukukhulumisana ukuze nje ulalele lokho omunye umuntu akushoyo, ngaphandle kokuhlanganyela okuvela ohlangothini lwakho, ngeke kukusize lapho umgomo wakho ufunda indlela yokwakha ukuxhumana okujulile nomlingani wakho. 

Buza imibuzo futhi unqume umazi kahle kangakanani umlingani wakho. “Njengoba ubudlelwano bukhula, kubalulekile ukuvuleleka kunoma yiluphi uhlobo lwezingxoxo, izingxabano nokungavumelani. Ukwamukela ukungaboni ngaso linye kuyokusiza ukuba umazi kahle umlingani wakho. Kusho uNandita. 

2. Ungaxhumana kanjani nophathina wakho ezingeni elijulile? Yiba nozwela

Lapho sihlala ebhamuzeni, siyancipha uzwela kwabanye abantu. Ukuba nobubele kumlingani wakho kuyimpendulo yokuthi ungakha kanjani ukuxhumana okujulile nomlingani wakho. Ukuqonda kuyisango lothando nobubele uma ufuna ngempela ukuxhumana nowesifazane noma owesilisa. Ukuze uqonde ngokuphelele umlingani wakho, udinga ukwazi umehluko phakathi kozwela nokuzwelana.

Ukuzwelana kungase kukusondeze kumlingani wakho kuyilapho ukuzwelana kungase kuqede amandla noma kudumaze omunye wakho obalulekile. Zibeke ezicathulweni zabo lapho uzama ukwazi umlingani wakho ezingeni elijulile. Kuboniswa a ukungabi naluzwela ekugcineni ungabuqeda ubudlelwano bakho. UNandita uthi, “Xhumana nophathina wakho ezingeni elijulile kunokwabelana naye ngobudlelwane obukha phezulu.

Lokhu kungase kuhlanganise izinto eziyimfihlo kakhulu kuwe futhi ezingakuphathi kahle njengezindaba zomndeni, ukuhlukumezeka kwasebuntwaneni, ukungazethembi komuntu siqu, noma izinkinga zempilo yengqondo. Uma ufuna ukuxhumana nophathina wakho ngezinga elijulile, sekuyisikhathi sokwehlisa ukuqapha kwakho. Futhi, ungalinge uyikhiphe imizwa yabo lapho beqala ukukuvulela isifuba. Qonda ukuthi basukaphi nezidingo zabo futhi ucabangele ukuthi basukaphi nezidingo zabo."

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: 8 Amasu Okuxazulula Ukungqubuzana Ebudlelwaneni Abacishe Basebenze

3. Qala ukwabelana ngobungozi bomunye nomunye

Ukuba sengozini ukuzimisela komuntu ukubeka engozini imizwelo, imizwa, nobuthakathaka bakhe ngokuvezela omunye umuntu. Iphakathi kwabaningi izidingo ezibucayi ezingokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni. Ukwabelana ngemicabango yakho ejulile futhi uvumele i-SO yakho ukuthi ingene ezintweni ezikuthinta ngokujulile futhi zikuzwise ubuhlungu wuhlobo lokuvuleka ngokomzwelo oluzokusebenzela kahle uma uzama ukuthola ukuthi ungaxhumana kanjani nomlingani wakho ezingeni elijulile.

Mayelana nokuba sengozini kanye nokuvulela isithandwa sakho isifuba, uNandita uthi, "Yiba sengozini. Kungenye yezinto ezinhle kakhulu ngoba uxhumana naye ezingeni elijulile. Yabelana ngokungazethembi kwakho futhi ukwenze ngokukhululekile ngangokunokwenzeka. Zama futhi ukhulume ngezinto ezikubumbile esikhathini esidlule. Uma unokuthile okuhlukumezekile noma ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo, zizwe ukhululekile ukwabelana ngakho ngokukhululekile nomlingani wakho, wazi ukuthi udinga ukuxhumana kanjani naye. yiqiniso ngemizwa yakho futhi ubonise ukukhathalela umlingani wakho.

“Ngaso leso sikhathi, kubalulekile ukuthi umethembe umlingani wakho.Yakha ukuxhumana okujulile nesoka noma intombi yakho ngokubethemba ngokuphelele.Ungazama nokuzama okunye ukwethemba umzimba ukuthuthukisa ubudlelwano ukuqinisa isibopho sakho. Kuphela uma umethemba umlingani wakho lapho uzokwazi ukwabelana ngobungozi bakho. Lapho besengozini futhi bexoxa ngemicabango yabo ejulile noma izindaba zesikhathi esidlule, ungahluleli. Ungenzi izitatimende zokwahlulela ngokuthi lokhu kubi noma akuyona into elungile ukuthi uzizwele. Yamukela nje okushiwo umlingani wakho."

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpikiswano Eziyi-11 Zobudlelwano Ezisho Ukubhujiswa Kwebhondi Yakho

4. Bheka umlingani wakho esimweni sakhe

Ukuze wakhe ukuxhumana okujulile ne-SO yakho, udinga ukukubona. Babuke benza izinto abazishisekelayo. Ekuqaleni, ngacabanga ukuthi iyaxaka indlela umngane wami engibuka ngayo ngifunda futhi ngibhala. Wayevele angigqolozele lapho ngiphenya amakhasi noma ngibhala nge-laptop yami. Ezinsukwini zokuqala zobuhlobo bethu, wayephendukela ngokushesha kwenye indawo lapho ebanjwa engigqolozele.

Lapho ubuhlobo bethu bujula, waqala ukukwenza ngokukhululekile. Manje akacwayizi uma ngiphakamisa amehlo ebhukwini lami kuhlangane amehlo. Kusenjalo kungenza ngibe namahloni. Waqaphela ukuthi nginyakazisa ubuso futhi wabonisa ukuthi ngicwayiza ngokweqile lapho ngifunda noma ngibhala. Kuyindlela esondelene futhi ecashile yokuba nokuxhumana okujulile ebuhlotsheni.

Uxhumana kanjani nomuntu ngokujulile esikhathini esifushane? Zibuze le mibuzo ebalulekile, futhi yilokho okuzokusondeza kuyo. Ithini into yozakwenu? Ibhola? Udlala insimbi yomculo? Ukubhaka? Ukupheka? Noma ngabe kuyini, hamba uyobabuka besebenza futhi uzokwazi ngokuzenzakalelayo ukuthi ungaxhumana kanjani nophathina wakho ezingeni elijulile. Eqinisweni, uzoqala ukuzizwa usondelene nabo kusukela ngaleso sikhathi.

5. Ungaxhumana kanjani nomlingani wakho ezingeni elijulile? Uhlale ebuzwa imibuzo evulekile

Ukubuza imibuzo efanele ngesikhathi esifanele kungakusiza uqonde kangcono umlingani wakho kakhulu. Buza imibuzo ukuze xoxani ngenhliziyo nomunye wakho obalulekile. Ngiyazi ukuthi sonke simatasa ngezimpilo zethu ngokwehlukana… imisebenzi, ukukhokha izikweletu, ukunakekela impilo yethu yengqondo nokunye okungafanele. Ungasebenzisi lezi zibopho njengezaba, kunalokho zama ukusebenza eduze nazo.

Kubaluleke kakhulu ukubuza imibuzo futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, ukuthatha isikhathi sokubabonisa lolo hlobo lwentshisekelo. Ngokucabangela indlela engangimazi kancane ngayo umlingani wami nendlela esimatasa ngayo ekuphileni kwethu kobuchwepheshe, nganquma ukuthatha isinyathelo sokubuza imibuzo evulelekayo. Ngiyababuza ukuthi uma sihamba ngemoto siyothenga igilosa noma sihlale phansi sidle. Noma ngabe kwenzeka ngezikhawu noma ngokungahleliwe, kungumzamo engihlale ngiwenza.

Ukubuza imibuzo enjalo kwangisiza ukuba ngiqonde ukuthi kungani athatha umthwalo wemfanelo womzali owayesele ngemva kokushona komunye. Ngabona ukuthi akumina ngedwa ongene kulobu budlelwano nenqwaba yemithwalo yomuntu siqu nosizi. "Phushanani endleleni efanele futhi nisizane ukuba babe inguqulo yabo engcono. Bakhuthaze. Bakhuthaze. Buza imibuzo ewubuphukuphuku nehlekisayo. Buza imibuzo esontekile. Ibenze bacabange, futhi uzenze ucabange. Leyo yimpendulo yakho elula yokuthi ungaxhumana kanjani nomlingani wakho ezingeni elijulile," kusho uNandita.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izindlela Eziyisi-9 Zokubhekana Nomyeni Ongeseke

6. Yakhani izinkumbulo ezinhle ndawonye

“Zamani futhi nihleke ndawonye kakhulu. Yibani isithutha. Yenzani izinto ezizonisondeza komunye nomunye. Dalani izinkumbulo futhi nibe nguwe. Danisani ndawonye, ​​nibukele amamuvi, futhi nizilolonge ndawonye. Jabulani kuleso sikhala okungesakho nje futhi usenze sithandeke ngendlela ongakwazi ngayo,” U-Nandita weluleka ngokuthi ungaxhumana kanjani nophathina wakho ezingeni elijulile. Ngokufanayo, uma uzibuza ukuthi uxhumana kanjani nomuntu ngokujulile esikhathini esifushane, ukwenza izinkumbulo ezintsha kuyindlela, futhi ibalulekile kubo bonke ubuhlobo.

Eqinisweni, ngisho noma ninobudlelwano bebanga elide, ningajulisa ubudlelwano ngombhalo namakholi inqobo nje uma nichitha isikhathi esihle nobabili. Ukuthanda umlingani wakho ngokujulile kuba lula uma unesiqu esigcwele izinkumbulo. Izinkumbulo ongabheka emuva bese umomotheka futhi uzikhumbule lapho zingekho.

Tholani izinto enizilibazisa ngazo, nihambe ngezinsuku, nidle konke ukudla ndawonye uma nobabili nisekhaya, futhi nijulise ubuhlobo benu nomlingani wakho. Ebudlelwaneni bebanga elide, sebenzisa amandla ezikhala ze-inthanethi ukuze nixhume, nihlekisane, futhi nidale izinkumbulo njengoba ubungenza mathupha. Lapho wena nophathina wakho ninamandla emicabangweni yomunye, kulapho nobabili nizozizwa niqinile njengombhangqwana.

7. Hlolani izinhlangothi zenu zocansi ndawonye

Manje, izinto sezizoba mnandi kakhulu kodwa masiqhubeke sigxile esicini sakho esithinta imizwa esikusiza ukuthi ube nesibopho nomlingani wakho ezingeni elijulile futhi elingokomoya. Lapho ucabanga ukuya ocansini, ungasho yini ukuthi mhlawumbe “ukusondelana” kuyinto yokuqala efika engqondweni yakho? Ngoba njalo ngicabanga ngocansi njengendawo yokuzizwa ngibonwa ngempela, ngithandwa, futhi ngikhululekile ukuziveza ngokugcwele.

Imibhangqwana eminingi iba yizisulu zobulili obuyisidina ebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside. Gwema kukho ngokwandisa nokuhlola izifiso zobulili zomunye nomunye. Vula futhi uthembeke ngezidingo zakho. Uma ubuza ukuthi ungaxhumana kanjani nomlingani wakho ezingeni elijulile, bese uvumela ukuthi uhlole amaphupho akho nomlingani wakho ngaphandle kwamahloni futhi uzinikele ngokugcwele ezifisweni ezijulile zomunye nomunye. Kuzokusiza ukuthi uxhumane ngokomqondo nophathina wakho futhi wengeze ulwazi olujulile, ngokungafani nanoma yini owake wazizwa.

Ukuba Nokuxhumana Okujulile Nomlingani Wakho Kusiza Kanjani Ubudlelwano Bakho?

Kuqinisekile ukuthi ukuba nokuxhumana okujulile, okuhlala isikhathi eside nomlingani wakho ngokuqinisekile kuhle ebuhlotsheni bakho. Kodwa kwenzeka kanjani ngempela lokho? Ngabe ubudlelwano bakho buthuthuka kangakanani ngemuva kwakho? Nazi izindlela ezimbalwa:

• Ukuba mnene ngesikhathi sokungqubuzana: Lapho unozwela nokufudumala okwengeziwe kumlingani wakho, kusobala ukuthi kuwubuwula izimpikiswano zobudlelwano ngeke isahlupha impilo yakho yothando. Uma usubona umlingani wakho ukuthi ungubani ngempela futhi uqonda imikhuba yakhe, ngeke uthambekele ekuthatheni umzila othukuthele ezingxabano futhi kunalokho uthathe indlela eyakhayo.
• Kukhona ukuqonda kangcono ukuziphatha kwabo: Manje njengoba usuqedile ikharikhulamu mayelana nokuhlukumezeka okudlule kozakwenu, imilando yobudlelwano, njll., ungase ukwazi nje ukuqonda kangcono ukusabela kwabo kanye nezindlela zokubhekana nazo. Kungani bengawuthandi kangaka umqondo womshado? Mhlawumbe ngenxa yokuthi abazali babo babengenawo omuhle. Kungani bengalokothi bakhulume nge-ex yabo? Mhlawumbe ngenxa yokuthi owake wabaphatha kabi ngendlela okungekho muntu owake waba ngayo ngaphambili
• Sincane indawo yokungazethembi: Uma uzizwa usengozini ngokuphelele kunothile futhi ukhululekile uma kuziwa ekukhulumeni naye, uzizwa wamukelekile, uthandwa, futhi unakekelwa. Lokhu ngokuqinisekile kuhamba indlela ende ekusizeni ukuthi uchithe ukungazethembi kwakho ngakubo kanye nobudlelwano
• Nizozizwa nidonseka komunye nomunye: Yebo, ukuxhumana okujulile kunganikeza indlela yokukhangwa kazibuthe. Lapho uqala ukusebenza ebuhlotsheni futhi uzama ngokuzimisela ukuthuthukisa nokujulisa leso sibopho, uzophinde uzwe uthando nokukhangwa ngobuningi.
• Ukufunda izinto ezintsha: Ukukhula kwakho komuntu ngamunye nakho kuzoqhutshwa kuphela uma ufaka lolu hlobo umzamo ebudlelwaneni. Ngeke nje ufunde izinto ngomlingani wakho, uzofunda nemibono emisha nezinto ezintsha ngomhlaba, okuzokusiza ukuthi ukhule njengomuntu.

Ungayeki ukufuna ukwazi ngomlingani wakho. Xhumana ukuze uxhumane, uhlobanise futhi uqonde ukukhathazeka nokujabula komlingani wakho. Impilo ayihlali iwuthingo lwenkosazana nokukhanya kwelanga, uma benenkinga, yiba khona. Ukuxolelana ebudlelwaneni kubalulekile. Ningabambi amagqubu isikhathi eside noma kuzokwenza buthaka ukuzibophezela kwenu komunye nomunye. Nqobani ubunzima nezinselele ndawonye njengombhangqwana futhi niphume ninamandla kunangaphambili. 

Izimpawu Eziyi-10 Zobudlelwane Obunempilo

8 Amasu Okuxazulula Ukungqubuzana Ebudlelwaneni Abacishe Basebenze

Ingabe Uthando Lwangempela? 10 Amaqiniso Okufanele Uwazi Uma Kuwuthando Lwakho Lweqiniso Noma Cha

Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.

Bheka Inqubo Yethu Yokuhlela

Hlangana Nebhodi Lethu Lokubuyekeza

Yabelana Ngempendulo

Ithini impendulo yakho?

×

Eziwusizo Bika Iphutha Izincwajana zemininingwane

Hambisa