15 Amafulegi Abomvu Wobudlelwano Endodeni Okufanele Uyiqaphele

Abantu abaningi abathanda amadoda bangase bavumelane nalokhu - Akubonakali yini ukuthi singabuthana futhi sikhulume ngamafulege abomvu endodeni okungenani ihora, ngisho noma sonke singabahambi komunye nomunye? Lokhu akubangelwa ukuthi kukhona okungalungile ngokwemvelo ngamadoda. Lokhu kungaphezu kwendaba yokukhuliswa. Futhi kulokhu kukhuliswa, ngithanda ukuthi izikhungo zethu zemfundo, ukungabekezelelani kanye nemikhuba egxilile ezinkolweni, emakhaya ethu obulili obufanayo nasezihlotsheni zethu (okuhlanganisa nabesifazane abaziqhenya ngokuziqhenya ngobukhosi), abangani bethu nontanga, amafilimu ethu kanye nemithombo yezindaba, babambe iqhaza ekuqinisekiseni ngokuhlanganyela ukuthi amadoda awaphunyuki ebudodeni obunobuthi.

Ngayinye yalezi zinhlangano yenze umsebenzi omuhle ekunikeleni kumafulegi amakhulu abomvu kumfana. Amadoda alwela ukubusa futhi anqabe noma yini ayibheka njengencane noma engeyona indoda, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ubunikazi bobulili noma umbala. Bafakazela ukubaluleka kwabo ngokuzwakalayo, kangcono, okukhulu, isibindi, nolaka, ngemali namandla engeziwe. Noma ngendlela eneshwa, babonisa ukubaluleka kwabo ngokuncintisana ukuze babone ukuthi ubani olala nabesifazane abaningi.

Sixoxe nodokotela wezifo zengqondo uDkt. Aman Bhonsle (PhD, PGDTA), ogxile ekwelulekeni kobudlelwano kanye nokwelashwa kokuziphatha okunengqondo. Wabelana nathi ngemicabango yakhe ngalolu daba, futhi ndawonye, ​​sazama ukuhlola izimpawu ezibomvu kumuntu wesilisa.

15 Amafulegi Abomvu Wobudlelwano Endodeni Okufanele Uyiqaphele

Uma sikhuluma ngamafulegi abomvu kumuntu, sikhuluma ngamafulegi abomvu ohlelweni lonke. Kodwa amadoda ase-cis avame ukuba ubuso obuvame kakhulu nobuzwakalayo bobudoda, futhi athola imivuzo eminingi ngokusekela izinhlelo zobudoda. UDkt. Bhonsle uyanezela, “Igciwane lokuncintisana lifakwe emadodeni yi-patriarchy lapho kufanele bahlale belinganisa futhi bekhula khona. Leli gciwane lidlule ezikhathini lapho amadoda ayelwa khona izimpi futhi enza imisebenzi enzima, kanti abesifazane babengabanakekeli futhi benakekela indlu. Lezi zindima zobulili ziphelelwe yisikhathi futhi azisasebenzi umsebenzi ofanele. Awukwazi ukuhlala uboshiwe uhlobo oluthile lobuntu ngoba nje uzalwa nobulili obuthile.”

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Ngakho-ke ake sizame ukuvula ezinye zalezi zingxoxo kulesi sihloko. Uma ukhangwa amadoda futhi ubulokhu ucabanga, “Kungani ngingakwazi ukubona amafulege abomvu endodeni?”, lesi sihloko ngesakho. Ake sikhulume mayelana 15 ubuhlobo amafulege abomvu endodeni ukuba siqaphe.

1. Kukhona ukunganaki okucacile kwemingcele yakho

Ubonisa ukunganaki ngokucacile imingcele yakho ngisho nangemva kokuba usuyishilo. Ngingayithola inombolo yakho? Ikheli lakho? Ngingakufonela ngalesi sikhathi? Ngingakubamba isandla? Ngingahamba nawe uma uhlangana nabangani bakho? Ngingakuthumela unqunu wami, noma ungangithumelela owakho? Uma beqhubeka nokukubuza imibuzo lapho uzizwa sengathi ucindezelwa odongeni futhi kufanele usho imingcele yakho enempilo kaninginingi, sekuyisikhathi sokubaleka. Lezi ezinye zezimpawu ezinkulu kumuntu. Indoda efana nale icabanga ukuthi inelungelo lesikhala sakho, isikhathi kanye nomzimba wakho. Kuzoqhubeka nokuba kubi kakhulu.

UChloe uthi: “Siye safundiswa ukuba singacabangi ngokuziqinisa, nokujabulisa nokwamukela abanye ukuphila kwethu konke.

2. Uxakwe yimibono eyisidala yobudoda

Benza ukunengeka noma ukungamthandi kwabo noma ubani abangamboni njengowesilisa kube sobala, kungaba ngesimo sobuso, ukugcona noma ulimi olubandlululayo. Uma bethanda kakhulu imibono yobudoda ehambisana namandla nokubusa, noma ngokuba yisoka elinobugovu nelilawulayo , kuzokuthinta kabi maduze noma kamuva. Lezi yizimpawu ezinkulu ezibomvu zendoda engazethembi.

UDkt. Bhonsle uthi, "Yini eyenza indoda? Uma ubuza amadoda angalindelekile ukuthi aphendule lo mbuzo, azobe elahlekile. Awazi ukuthi angachaza kanjani ubudoda ngale kwezincazelo zezinzalamizi ezibekwe kubo. Abazange bafundiswe ukubuza umsuka wamaqiniso abo angaphelele, ngoba lowo mthombo kwakuwumphakathi wabo oseduze kanye nemibuthano yangaphakathi yangaphakathi, ukunethezeka kwemindeni, izikole zokunethezeka kanye nezikole eziningi zokunethezeka. emithonjeni enjalo, ngakho-ke siyesaba ukuyibekela inselele kodwa kufanele siqhubeke nokungabaza izimiso zethu zenani namafilosofi futhi sizibuze ngezikhathi ezithile: ingabe zisasiza thina?

UDkt. Bhonsle uphinde akhulume ngendlela esicabanga ngayo ngamadoda , “Uma indoda ifuna ukuba umklami wemfashini, abantu bayitshela ukuthi igqoke i-sari ukuze isho ukuthi ‘ilahlekelwe’ ubudoda bayo. Ngingathi indoda enakekela ingane yayo ubusuku bonke iyindoda kakhulu kunendoda ecabanga ukuthi ukushaya umuntu othile kuzoxazulula inkinga.”

3. Unombono womhlaba ogxile ku-machismo

Elinye lamafulegi abomvu asekuqaleni endodeni ukuthi iningi lamamuvi akhe ayintandokazi, imibukiso nezincwadi zidalwe ngamadoda futhi zinamadoda njengabalingiswa abamaphakathi. Uma umhlaba wakho wemidiya ugcwele ngokuqaphela uhlobo olulodwa kuphela lokulandisa kwabesilisa okugxile kakhulu kubantu besilisa, futhi kufundisa amadoda indlela yokuba 'indoda', khona-ke kukhona okushaya amanzi.

Futhi, esinye sezimpawu ezinkulu ezibomvu kumuntu wesilisa kungaba ukuthi uthanda kakhulu imisipha yakhe futhi uvame ukukhuluma noma ukusikisela ukuthi ungcono kunabanye amadoda ngenxa nje yomzimba wakhe. “Akazange akhulume nganoma yini enenjongo futhi wayengenakukwazi ukuyeka ukubuka amavidiyo okuqina komzimba, ukukhuluma ngokudla kwakhe, noma ukuthi angamshaya kanjani omunye umuntu. Ubudoda obunobuthi kanye nobulili obungahleliwe kwafinyelela ezingeni elilandelayo. Kwakuthusa kancane futhi kwaba yinto enkulu,” kusho u-Amelia.

Amadoda angongqingili nawo awavikelekile ekubandlululweni ngokobulili. UBell Hooks encwadini yakhe ethi The Will to Change uthe, “Iningi lamadoda angongqingili licabanga ngendlela efanayo nabesilisa abathandana nabobulili obuhlukile. Ukucabanga kwabo ngendlela efanayo kuholela ekwakheni imibono yokuziphatha kobulili okufiselekayo okufana nokwamadoda aqotho aziphatha ngendlela efanayo.”

4. Amafulegi abomvu endodeni: Akaluzweli ucansi

Akafisi ukukhuluma ngenduduzo yakho yocansi, imingcele, ukuhlukumezeka, izidingo, injabulo ethile, izinto ongazithandayo nezinto ozithandayo, izindlela zokuvimbela inzalo, njll. Yebo akafisi. Amanye amadoda acabanga ukuthi akwazi kangcono kunalokho ozaziyo. Noma ubani onentshisekelo kumadoda, futhi ikakhulukazi uma usemncane, lalela. Uma bengakuhloniphi lokho “ongakwazi” ukukwenza maqondana nokusondelana, futhi uma belahla induduzo yakho yocansi kanye nempilo yakho yocansi kunoma yisiphi isigaba phakathi nenqubo, kungenye yezimpawu ezibaluleke kakhulu kumuntu wesilisa lapho ethandana. Uvunyelwe ukuthi cha futhi ufanele ukuthi “cha” lowo “cha” uzwakale futhi ulandelwe nganoma yisiphi isikhathi sokusondelana ngokocansi.

Akukhona nje ngokungena noma ukwakheka kukho, ngisho nokuthintwa kungase kweqe umngcele wakho wocansi uma ungazange uvume ngaphambili. "Ngangivame ukucabanga ukuthi uma ngike ngavuma ukuya ocansini, futhi siphakathi kwakho, angisakwazi ukuphinde ngikhulume ngoba lokho kuzomdumaza. Ngiyajabula ukuthi ngazi kangcono kakhulu manje. Uma ukunethezeka kwami ​​​​kungabalulekanga kuye, uyayeka ukubaluleka kimi. Kulula, "uhlanganyela uChloe.

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5. Ukungatholakali kwemizwa ukulungiselelwa kwakhe okuzenzakalelayo

Enye yeziphazamiso ezibomvu kumuntu wesilisa lapho ethandana ukuthi kuzwakala sengathi kuzodingeka isando ne-chisel ukuze avuleke. “Ngokuvamile abesilisa abadala abangakwazi ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo nabesifazane abakhethe ukuba nobuhlobo obuseduze nabo bavalekile ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, abakwazi ukuzivumela ukuba bathande ngoba besaba ukuthi othandekayo uzobashiya.” – Bell Hooks, Will to Change.

Kungase kube nezizathu eziningi zokuntula kwakhe ukutholakala ngokomzwelo, futhi nakuba ungase uzwelane naye, ukufanele ukuba nomlingani onenhliziyo evulekele ukukwamukela. Ukungatholakali kwemizwelo kungase futhi kuzibonakalise ekuziphatheni kokungenzi lutho, ukubhuqa, nentukuthelo.

UDkt. Bhonsle uthi, “Amadoda afundiswa ukufihla imizwa, njengokungathi iyizimfihlo ezincane ezingcolile. Ngisho nasemindenini, atshela umfana ukuthi ashintshe imizwa yakhe uma ebonisa ubuthakathaka. Izinkinga zentukuthelo endodeni zamukeleka kakhudlwana, njengoba nje sicabanga ukuthi ukudabuka kwamukeleka kakhudlwana kwabesifazane. Yingakho abafana namadoda bengafuni noma bengathola induduzo ngobuhlungu babo njengoba abanye abantu benza. Lokhu akulungile, futhi ukulimala kwengqondo kubo kuyabonakala.”

6. Uyakuhlazisa njalo

"Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kwakuyindlela engangigqoka ngayo, noma okuhlangenwe nakho kwami ​​kocansi okudlule, lo muntu wayehlehla kangangokuthi ngangithandana naye isonto lonke. Ngazizwa ngicindezelwe. Ngifisa sengathi ngingavele ngibone amafulegi abomvu kuphrofayela yendoda yokuphola ukuze ngingazitholi nhlobo," uhlanganyela u-Amelia.

Ngeshwa lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho kuvamile kakhulu kubo bonke abantu. Baveza ukungaqiniseki kwabo kuwe futhi bakwenze ube yisilingo sabo esincane abangasilawula futhi basilungise ngendlela abayithandayo. Ufanelwe ukuba nomlingani okuvumela ukuthi ungaxolisi, ahloniphe indlela oziveza ngayo kanye nesikhathi sakho esidlule, futhi ongeyena omunye walabo balingani noma amadoda agxeka ukubukeka kwakho , isikhathi sakho esidlule, ubulili bakho kanye nezintandokazi zakho.

7. Amafulege abomvu endodeni: Ubandlulula ngobulili

Uvame ukubiza abesifazane ababuthakathaka futhi amadlingozi. Ukhuluma ngabo ngendlela eyehlisa isithunzi kodwa ukutshela ukuthi wena uhlukile. Sonke sihlangabezane nezinhlobonhlobo ezahlukene zale ndoda, akunjalo? Ukucwasa ngokobulili endodeni kungabonakala ngendlela esola ngayo abasinde ekuhlukunyezweni noma ekuhlukunyezweni ngalokho abadlule kukho, ibukela phansi abantu besifazane ngokusobala, futhi ithanda ukulawula ukuziphatha kwabo ngokocansi. Akacabangi ukuthi abesifazane bayalingana ngokwengqondo namadoda, futhi uklolodela noma uchitha impumelelo yabo.

Uma ubona lawa mafulegi abomvu kuphrofayela yendoda yokuphola, swayiphela kwesokunxele ngokushesha. Njengoba sikhula, sifunda ukuthi noma yimuphi umuntu obonisa ubulili olulaza ubufazi kunoma ubani noma owehlisa isithunzi sakho bonke ubulili akakwazi ukuba umuntu ovuthiwe ngokomzwelo.

8. Amakhono akhe okuxhumana adinga umsebenzi omningi

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi akakwazi ukuba nezingxoxo ezibucayi neziseduze nawe noma udelela ngokuphelele, ukuntuleka kwamakhono okuxhumana kungenye yezimpawu ezinkulu eziyingozi endodeni. Izingxoxo yilokho osala nakho ezinsukwini lapho ucansi luthatha indawo yangemuva futhi ukuphuma kuzwakala njengomsebenzi. Uma engakwazi ukuxhumana kahle nawe futhi kuzwakala sengathi kufanele uqhamuke nezihloko ozoxoxa ngazo njalo, noma uzizwa ukhathele ngemva kokushaya ucingo ngakunye, sekuyisikhathi sokuhlola kabusha lobu budlelwano obungenampilo.

“Yilaba abangani bami abaveze ukuthi uyangixosha, ubengangithandi nhlobo, angizange ngibone nokuthi empeleni ngangibathukuthelele ngokumgxeka, kodwa babeqinisile.

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9. Akayena uhlaka lomphakathi we-LGBTQIA+

Futhi cha, hhayi ngendlela 'wonke umuntu' abonakala engabambisene nomphakathi uma ubabuza. Kodwa ngendlela ebambekayo - balandela abantu abayizixhwanguxhwangu ukuze bafunde kabanzi ngemibono yethu, bazifundise (ngejubane labo) ezindabeni cishe ezisikhathazayo, babuka futhi bafunde okuqukethwe okungajwayelekile okudalwe abantu abayizixhwanguxhwangu, bamele amalungelo ezenhlalo namasiko nezomthetho omphakathi we-LGBTQ noma nini lapho kunokwenzeka, bakhuluma nabanye babangane babo nomndeni ukuze babenze baqonde kabanzi ngobulili, futhi balusebenzise ulimi olubaluleke kakhulu, nobulili.

I-Queerphobia kanye ne-transphobia kuthinta nabesifazane abangama-cishet, futhi kuyizimpawu ezibalulekile zendoda engazethembi okufanele iqaphele. Lokhu kubaluleke kakhulu kulabo abangama-trans noma ama-queer, futhi abafisa ukuthandana nendoda yama-cis. Kuzodingeka wazi ukuthi ungumngane oqinile emphakathini owukuwo, nokuthi uyayihlonipha futhi uyayimela yini i-political and social identity yakho, ngaphandle kwalokho kuyaphula isivumelwano.

10. Uyakugaxa

Ukuqoba isinkwa kuyisenzo sokuthumela izimpawu zokuxhumana ezibonisa uthando, kodwa ezingezona ezokuzibophezela (okungukuthi “izingcezu zesinkwa”) ukuze uhehe umlingani othandana naye ngaphandle kokusebenzisa umzamo omkhulu. Ngamanye amazwi, kuholela othile phambili. Ukuqoba isinkwa kusho ukuthi umlingani ukukhombisa uthando kodwa abese ehoxa ngokuzumayo, bese ephinda le ndlela aze akuqhubele odongeni.

“Ngaqala ukuzibuza ukuthi uthando lwangempela yini, ubuhlobo bami bukhona yini, nokuthi kuyiphutha lami yini ukuthi axoshwe kimi,” kusho uDan. Ukungaqini kwemizwa yabo, nokuntula ukuzwela nokuzibophezela kuwena akusona isivunguvungu obhekene naso. Gijima. Njengoba umngane wami esho, “Awufanelwe imvuthuluka yesinkwa, ufanelwe yibhikawozi lonke.”

11. Ukuziphatha kwe-gaslighting kuyifulegi elibomvu kumfana

Ukuzikhukhumeza ebudlelwaneni kungenye yezimpawu ezinkulu ezivame ukukhulunywa ngazo kumuntu wesilisa. Kuyindlela yokukhohlisa esetshenziswa ukushintsha amandla ebudlelwaneni ukuze umuntu oyedwa abe nokulawula okuphelele komunye. Abantu abaningi badlula kuleli qiniso elibi.

Indawo eyodwa lapho kufanele uzizwe uphephile khona, ubudlelwano bothando, iba yiphupho elibi. Wenziwa ungabaze zonke izici zempilo yakho - amakhono akho, abangani bakho, umndeni wakho, ukwesaba kwakho, izidingo zakho, ngisho nezingxoxo zakho kanye nezinhlelo zakho zokukholelwa. Akukho ukuzibophezela ngakolunye uhlangothi futhi into engcono kakhulu ongayenza ukuhamba ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka. Ngoba uma ulinda isikhathi eside, ithonya labo liya liba libi kakhulu. Uma usudlule kulokhu, ufanele ukuphulukiswa futhi kwa-Bonobology, sinikeza usizo lochwepheshe ngephaneli yethu yabeluleki abanelayisensi abangakusiza ukuthi uqale indlela eya ekululameni.

12. Akakuvumeli ukuthi ungene emhlabeni wakhe

Ingabe uhlale uzizwa njengomuntu wangaphandle, isinyathelo esisodwa ngaphandle kwekhaya labo, ubaqhweba ngesandla, ulindele ukungeniswa? Uma kunjalo, ufanelwe okungcono. Ufanelwe inhliziyo yabo yonke, kanye nolwazi oluhle lwesiqiniseko sothando. Uma engakakulungeli ukukuvumela uhlangane nabangane bakhe, akenzi umzamo wokuhlangana nawe, akafisi ukukubona esidlangalaleni noma phakathi kwabantu ababaziyo, khona-ke udinga ukuphawula la mafulegi amakhulu abomvu endodeni, bese uqeda lobu buhlobo ngokushesha.

UCora uthi, “Ngangihlale ngididekile. Wayengithela ngothando lwakhe lapho sihlangana ngasese. Kodwa wabe esebeka izindonga. Wayengakaze angimemele endaweni yakhe. Ngangingazi ukuthi abangane bakhe babecabangani ngami, futhi ngangingakaze ngizizwe “ngidingeka.” Kwakubuhlungu.

13. Amafulegi abomvu endodeni: Idla ngokweqile futhi inomona

Unenkani kuze kube seqophelweni lokulawula futhi unomona olimazayo. Makuqalekiswe ama-movie, ukuba nenkani nomona AKUKUHLE ngemva kwephuzu elithile. Lapho amadoda eba nomona , kungakwenza uzizwe ufunwa ngesikhathi esifushane, kodwa uma ungumuntu othanda inkululeko yawo, lokhu kuba nenkani kuzosheshe kuzwakale kukhungathekisa. Inkinga ukuthi thina, njengomphakathi, siyawulahla umona.

Kodwa umona ungomunye umzwelo, futhi akufanele ube namahloni. Lisitshela okuningi ngezidingo zethu nalokho esikufunayo njengamanje. Ukube nje besifunde ukuxhumana ngalezo zidingo ngendlela enempilo, futhi singafundi ngamamuvi ukuvumela umona wethu ubhonge futhi uthukuthele - aze asiqede thina nabalingani bethu!

UDkt. Bhonsle uyasikisela, "Uma unomona, okokuqala, thwala umthwalo wakho wokungakhululeki kwakho. Bese uzwakalisa ukungakhululeki kwakho kumlingani wakho ngendlela eqotho, engasongeli futhi enenhlonipho. Cela iziphakamiso zokuthi ungawuxazulula kanjani noma uwuvimbele kanjani lo mhawu. Vulekele iziphakamiso. Ubudlelwano budinga izingxoxo ezihlukene futhi kufanele nibe nezingxoxo eziguquguqukayo lapho ningakwazi ukutshelana khona nobabili, ngingasiza ngithembise ukuthi usizo lwami kulokhu luzotholakala nakuwe esikhathini esizayo.”

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14. Unifanisa nabalingani bakhe bangaphambili

Lokhu ukucisha okunjalo futhi kungakwenza uzizwe wenqatshiwe futhi udangele. Izinkampane zakhe kungaba umndeni wakhe awukhethile, zingase zibaluleke kakhulu kuye, futhi konke lokho kuhle, ngaphandle kokuthi unomkhuba wokukhuphula lowo muntu engxoxweni eseduze noma njengendlela yokukuqhathanisa nabo. Akulungile kuwe, futhi ufanelwe okungcono.

Uma engachithi isikhathi esihle nawe, kodwa ekwazi ukukhululeka sonke isikhathi emhlabeni ngenxa yabo, phuma. Kufanele wamukeleke ebudlelwaneni futhi ungalwi nokunakwa. Ukwenqaba kwakhe njalo ukuba khona kwakho ngenxa yokuba khona kowayengumlingani wakhe kubonisa ukuthi angase athandane nowayengumlingani wakhe . Awusadingi ezinye izimpawu ezibomvu endodeni ukuze uvuke uhambe.

15. Akakuniki isikhala

Ufuna ukumaka kanye nawe yonke indawo. Ufuna ukwazi ukuthi wenzani ngawo wonke amahora, nokuthi unobani. Ufuna ukukhuluma nawe ngaso sonke isikhathi futhi akazithathi ngomusa iziphakamiso zokuthi uthathe isikhala. Kufike ezingeni lokuthi uma ifoni yakho ikhala noma ikhala, wazi ukuthi uyena bese uqala ukukhathazeka noma ukukhungatheka.

Wonke umuntu unemvamisa ayincamelayo yokukhuluma nomlingani wakhe. Udinga ukumtshela ngomusa nangokuqinile lokho okukusebenzelayo, nokungakusebenzelanga. Uma engakakuvumeli, ngicela ungabheki ukumshintsha. Lona ungubani aze athathe isinqumo sokuphulukisa ekungazethembini kwakhe. Awudingi ukubhekana nalokho.

UDkt. Aman Bhonsle unxusa amadoda ukuba ashintshe imibono yamasiko neyengqondo yokuthi kusho ukuthini ukuba yindoda. Uthi, “Batshelwa ukuthi babe ngamadoda futhi babe nobudlova emasikweni ethu, ngisho nangamafilimu ethu. Akumangalisi ukuthi amadoda anobunzima bokuveza imizwa . Kuyinto evamile ngokuphelele. Futhi amadoda awakhulumi ngokumelene nalokhu ngoba kubo, izinto zibonakala zihamba kahle. Pho kungani bengabaza le ndlela evamile?

"Isikhathi lapho beqala ukungabaza yonke into kulapho kwenzeka into embi ngempela bese yonke into iqhuma ebusweni babo. Bese bephoqeleka ukuthi bazibuze ukuthi, "Kona kuphi?" Leli yiphuzu lapho beqala khona ukubheka, futhi ngethemba lokuthi bangaqala ukusebenzela ukuphulukisa. ”

Sithemba ukuthi manje usungakwazi ukubona lawa mafulegi abomvu endodeni kangcono kakhulu, futhi lokhu kungathuthukisa ulwazi lwakho lokuthandana kancane. Ziningi izici zobuntu bomuntu esingavumelani nazo. Into yokuqala okumele uyenze nganoma iyiphi yalezi zimpawu ezibomvu ukukhuluma ngayo nalowo muntu, bese uthatha isinqumo sakho.

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Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.