19 Izibonelo Zemingcele Enempilo Ebudlelwaneni

" Imingcele iyasichaza. Ichaza ukuthi ngingubani nokuthi ngingubani. Umngcele ungibonisa ukuthi ngiphelela kuphi nokuthi omunye umuntu uqala kuphi, okungiholela ekubeni nomuzwa wokuba ngumnikazi. Ukwazi ukuthi ngingubani nokuthi ngithathe umthwalo wemfanelo wakho kunginika inkululeko." - UHenry Cloud.

Ubudlelwano obunempilo buba khona kuphela uma kunemingcele enempilo phakathi kombhangqwana. Izibonelo ezinjalo zemingcele enempilo ebuhlotsheni zisisiza ukuba sazi abantu bethu ababalulekile ngokugcwele. Ukuqonda izidingo zomunye nomunye zomuntu siqu, ngokomzimba, nangokomzwelo kanye nokuxhumana ngaphezu kwalokho kuyindlela engcono kakhulu umuntu angabeka ngayo izibonelo zemingcele enempilo ebuhlotsheni.

Kodwa empeleni imingcele enempilo ebudlelwaneni ibukeka kanjani? Ukuze sikusize uqonde okufanayo, sikulethela ezinye izimo nezibonelo zemingcele enempilo ebudlelwaneni ngokubonisana nodokotela wezifo zengqondo uDkt. Aman Bhonsle (Ph.D., PGDTA), ogxile ekwelulekeni kobudlelwano kanye nokwelashwa kokuziphatha okunengqondo. Uchaza ukubeka imingcele njengesenzo sokuziqinisa. Lapho imingcele enempilo ihlonishwa yibo bobabili abalingani, ukusondelana ngokomzwelo kuba yisisekelo esiqinile ebudlelwaneni.

Iyini Imingcele Enempilo Ebudlelwaneni?

“Uma kuziwa ekuphileni kwenu njengombhangqwana, cabangani ukuthi empeleni kunezinhlangano ezintathu ezihilelekile: wena, umlingani wakho, nobuhlobo ngokwabo—futhi imingcele idinga ukuchazwa ngakunye,” kusho uDkt. Jacqui Gabb, uprofesa weSociology.

Ukubeka izibonelo zemingcele enempilo ebuhlotsheni kusho ukuxhumana nokwabelana ngezimiso zakho, izimiso, ukuziphatha, izinkolelo, ukuhlukumezeka kwangaphambilini, okuthandayo, kanye nokungathandi. Ukwenza lokhu, kusiza umlingani wakho aqonde ukulinganiselwa kwakho ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba, okunomthelela ekubeni nobudlelwano obungcono kakhulu bubonke.  

Izibonelo zemingcele enempilo ebudlelwaneni akuzona nje imizwa noma ingqondo, zingaba yimingcele engokwenyama. Isibonelo, uma ungathandi ukuthintwa ngendlela ethile noma amagama athile ongafuni ukubizwa ngawo, kubalulekile ukukwazisa umlingani wakho, umazise ukuthi udweba kuphi umngcele. Uma umlingani wakho, naye, ekuhlonipha lokho futhi egwema ukwenza izinto aziyo ukuthi awukhululekile ngazo, ngabe usethe umngcele onempilo ebudlelwaneni bakho.

Indlela Yokumisa Imingcele Ebudlelwaneni?

Ngaphambi kokuthi siqonde uhlu lwemingcele yobudlelwano, kufanele siqale sibheke ukuthi umuntu wenza kanjani ukuyibeka. Ngokuvamile, ngesikhathi se-honeymoon, imingcele ebudlelwaneni empeleni ayitholakali ngoba izinyoni ezimbili zothando zivame ukushayeka kakhulu ukuthi zinganakwa. Kodwa lapho ubuhlobo buqala ukuqina, izidingo zomuntu siqu ziqala ukuvela futhi izinto ziqala ukushintsha. Isibonelo, emavikini akho okuqala ambalwa nithandana, ubuthanda ukuthi isoka lakho lizokulinda ngaphandle komsebenzi njalo ebusuku bese likuyisa ekhaya. Kodwa manje, lokho sekuqala ukuzwa kukhandla kancane.

Ngemva kokuba nosuku olude kangaka, ufuna ukujabulela uhambo lokuya ekhaya wena ngokwakho, futhi ukumbona njalo, cishe sekuqala ukuzizwa njengomthwalo. Akukhona ukuthi ubuhlobo benu buwumthwalo. Ukuthi nje anikaqondi imingcele yomunye nomunye. Ukuze nikwazi ukubeka izibonelo zemingcele yomuntu siqu ebudlelwaneni benu, nina nobabili kudingeka niqale ukuxhumana ngokwethembeka futhi njalo.

Udinga ukusho ngomlomo uma ucabanga ukuthi udinga isikhala kumlingani wakho. Noma ngabe bayakugqilaza ngamatheksthi uma usemsebenzini noma ubonakale ungamenyezelwanga efulethini lakho, uma ungakhombisi kahle ukuthi lezi zinto zingase zikukhathaze, ngeke ukwazi ukubeka imingcele ebudlelwaneni bakho. Yiba nomusa kubo, kodwa bonisa lokho okudingayo ngamazwi acacile.

19 Izibonelo Zemingcele Enempilo Ebudlelwaneni

Kunezibonelo eziningi zemingcele enempilo ebuhlotsheni. Kungaba ubuhlobo noma umshado, ukuba nemingcele yomuntu siqu, ngokomzimba, kanye neyobulili kusiza ekukhulumisaneni okungcono nokwandisa ukusondelana okuphelele. Imingcele enempilo ebudlelwaneni ikusiza ukuthi ubhekane nezimo eziyinselele ngokushelela kunokuba ubangele ukungezwani noma ukucindezelwa kwesibopho sakho. 

UDkt. Bhonsle uthi, “Ukubeka imingcele kuyisici esibalulekile ebudlelwaneni. Kumayelana nokubeka imigomo yenhlonipho nokucabangela amalungelo, izifiso, nezifiso zabanye abantu. Ukubeka imingcele kuyisibonakaliso sokuzibophezela okuwumthombo osebenza njengomthombo.” Ngalokho, kubalulekile ukuthi sidlule kulolu hlu lwemingcele yobudlelwano. Ake sibheke izibonelo ezimbalwa kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho okuzosisiza siqonde ukuthi izibonelo zemingcele yomuntu siqu ebudlelwaneni zibukeka kanjani ngempela.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izinto Eziyi-11 Zokuchaza Imizwa Yangempela Yothando

1. Umngcele olula kodwa onamandla - Ukuxhumana

Lesi ngesinye sezibonelo ezibaluleke kakhulu zemingcele enempilo ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni . Ukuxhumana imicabango yakho ngokwethembeka nomlingani wakho kuzosiza ekusetheni izibonelo zemingcele yomlomo. Ngezinye izikhathi kunzima ukudweba umugqa phakathi kwemicabango yakho nemizwa yakho. Ezimweni ezinjalo, kuhle ngaso sonke isikhathi ukufuna isikhathi sokuqoqa imicabango yakho kunokuyisebenzisa njengesu lokugwema izingxoxo ezengeziwe.

"Mina noDana saya emcimbini ngolunye usuku, isoka lami lathola umngane wakhe uJacob futhi sazama ukumisa uDana naye. Saba nesikhathi esimnandi futhi ngenkathi sihamba, uJacob wasondela phambili ukuze agone uDana kodwa uDana wavele wama lapho futhi waveza ukuthi akayena omkhulu futhi ukuxhawula isandla kwanele. Kwakuyinqaba kimina ukuqonda ukuthi ukhululekile futhi manje unempilo enhle ngaleso sikhathi kodwa manje ngizizwa ngiphilile. imingcele, engicabanga ukuthi iyancomeka,” kusho uCecilia, (32), ongumthengisi wotshwala.

2. Ukuziphendulela noma ukwenqaba ukusola

URaghu (26) ongumpheki we- sous, uthi, “Njalo lapho mina nentombi yami silwa noma sixabana ngandlela-thile, siyavumelana futhi silungise lokho. Thatha ku-Raghu, ukuba nengxoxo eyakhayo ngemva kokulwa kubalulekile kunoma ibuphi ubuhlobo.

Kwesinye isikhathi wena noma umlingani wakho ningase nisole omunye nomunye ngenxa yentukuthelo, ubuhlungu noma umuzwa wecala ngemva kokuba nixabene kanzima. Kodwa esikhundleni sokusolana ngendlela ozizwa ngayo, yimani isikhashana bese uzibuza ngezinqumo ozenzile nokuthi yini eholele kulesi simo kwasekuqaleni. Vuma imizwa yomunye nomunye kodwa ungalokothi uziphendulele ngezenzo zomlingani wakho. Lesi ngesinye sezibonelo ezilula zemingcele yemizwa enempilo ebuhlotsheni.

3. Ukuhlonipha ubumfihlo bomunye nomunye

Asikwazi ukugcizelela ukubaluleka kwalokhu. UDkt. Bhonsle uthi, “Ngokuvamile, abantu abasebudlelwaneni bazama ukuba nomnikazi womunye umlingani, okuphazamisa ngqo ubumfihlo. Ebudlelwaneni obunempilo , abekho abantu ababili okufanele bazame ukuba nomnikazi womunye nomunye. Anibona abanikazi, ningabalingani, nisebenza ndawonye.”

Lesi ngesinye sezibonelo zemingcele ebaluleke kakhulu ebudlelwaneni obunempilo. Ukwabelana ngezinto zakho, amagama ayimfihlo, amajenali, ukuhlukumezeka okwedlule, kanye namaphoyinti okubangela ngokubona kwakho kubalulekile. Umuntu okuphoqa ukuthi wabelane ngezinto akwamukelekile. Ungayimele.

UDkt. Bhonsle uyanezela futhi, “Uma kuziwa ekuhlukumezekeni okudlule kanye nezimbangela, kufanele kwabelwane ngazo ngesivinini esifanayo. Esenza isibonelo, uqhube wathi, “Emshadweni uma inkosikazi ithanda izinja futhi ihlale ikhuluma ngayo kanti umyeni akathandi izinja ngoba umuntu osondelene naye wabulawa amarabi, uvele azihlalele alalele uma unkosikazi ezishaya isifuba ngezinja. 

“Futhi inkosikazi akazi ngokuhlukumezeka kwayo kwangesikhathi esidlule. Ngenxa yokuthi kwakungahlanganyelwanga ngaphambili, ingase ithukuthele futhi ingase ivele ngesikhathi esingavamile futhi lokhu kungase kube indaba ethinta inhliziyo emshadweni. Ngakho kumelwe kwenziwe imizamo nhlangothi zombili ukuze kube nalolu hlobo lomngcele onempilo ongokomzwelo.”

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izici Ezingu-21 Zokuthuthukisa Inhlonipho Ebudlelwaneni

4. Ukuthi 'Cha' kuphakathi kwezibonelo zemingcele enempilo 

Esiqeshini esithi ABANGANE lapho uMonica noChandler bethola isabelomali somshado wabo; UMonica uthi, “Singathola imali njalo, kodwa sishada kanye kuphela.” Lapho u-Chandler ephendula khona, “Bheka ngiyaqonda kodwa kufanele ngibeke unyawo lwami phansi, kulungile, impendulo ithi CHA.” Izibonelo ezinjalo zokubeka imingcele, nakuba ziyinganekwane, zingahamba ibanga elide ngempela ngakho thatha ithiphu noma amabili ku-Chandler.

Lokhu ikakhulukazi kungenye yezibonelo ezinhle kakhulu zemingcele yemizwa ebudlelwaneni obunempilo. Sivame ukwenza konke okufunwa ngabalingani bethu ngoba sicabanga ukuthi ukwenqaba kuzomlimaza. Ngisho nokwenqaba ucansi , kuyinto esivame ukuyigwema ngoba sikhathazekile ngokucasula abalingani bethu. Kodwa ikhono lokuthi cha ezintweni eziphikisana nezimiso zakho noma ukungahloniphi isikhathi namandla akho liphakathi kwezibonelo ezibalulekile zemingcele yomuntu siqu imibhangqwana eminingi okudingeka iyilingise. Kubalulekile ebudlelwaneni ukuba nemingcele yemizwa enempilo kangaka.

5. Ukuhloniphana ebudlelwaneni

Ukubeka izibonelo zemingcele enempilo ebudlelwaneni kusho ukuthi utshela umlingani wakho ukuthi ufuna ukuphathwa kanjani. Uma ufuna ukuthandwa nokuhlonishwa ngendlela ethile, kudingeka futhi ubonise uhlobo olufanayo lothando nenhlonipho. Uma kwenzeka, umlingani wakho ekhuluma nawe ngendlela engalawuleki noma ngezwi elingenanhlonipho, kufanele uhlale umazisa ukuthi akwamukelekile. Leso ngesinye sezibonelo zemingcele enempilo emishadweni nasebudlelwaneni.

"Ngikholelwa ukuthi ubudlelwano budinga ukwethembana nenhlonipho ngaphezu kothando. Kumele niqondane njengabangane kuqala ngaphambi kokuba uthando ludlale indima yalo. Hloniphani izinhlelo nezinjongo zomunye nomunye. Angeke ulindele lutho ngaphandle kokupha futhi. 

“Kumelwe kube khona inhlonipho evamile ngokuba ngumuntu nje. Kukhona inhlonipho enemibandela nengenamibandela kubo bonke ubudlelwano, futhi kufanele kube njalo ngokubambisana. Ukuthi nje anivumelani akusho ukuthi kufanele ningahloniphani. Kunezindlela zokulwa ngenhlonipho nomlingani wakho noma umlingani wakho,” kuchaza uDkt. Bhonsle.

6. Ukuzimela nakuba usebudlelwaneni

Kuhle kakhulu ukusuka ku-'wena' no-'Mina' uye ku-"thina" ebuhlotsheni obunempilo. Kodwa ukuba nobuntu kubalulekile futhi kuletha umngcele womuntu siqu ebudlelwaneni ngoba unezithakazelo zakho, ubuhlakani kanye nezinkanuko okufanele uzifeze. “Umyeni wami uthanda ukuyodlala igalofu njalo ngeSonto ekuseni kodwa mina ngithanda ukuya ekilasini lami le-yoga. Ngakho ungiyisa ekilasini lami futhi alibangise ekilabhini,” kusho u-Anne, umsiki wengqephu lapho sikhuluma naye ngezibonelo zemingcele enempilo emshadweni.

“Sithola ikhefu losuku olulodwa emsebenzini wethu, ngakho senza izinto esizithandayo njengabantu ababili ekuseni futhi kamuva kusihlwa senze esikuthanda ukukwenza njengombhangqwana. Ngale ndlela sobabili siyajabula futhi siphila ubuhlobo obunempilo. Kubalulekile ukuba nemingcele enjalo yomuntu siqu ebuhlotsheni,” enezela.

7. Isikhala singesinye sezibonelo ezibalulekile zemingcele yomuntu siqu

Kulolu hlu lwemingcele yobudlelwano, ungakhohlwa ngesikhala nokuthi singabuthuthukisa kanjani ubudlelwano. Ukuba nokunikeza isikhala ebudlelwaneni kungenye yezibonelo ezibalulekile nezidingekayo zemingcele yomuntu siqu ebudlelwaneni obunempilo. Ukuzinika isikhathi sokuba nemicabango nemizwa yakho noma ukwenza into yakho kuyisibonelo somngcele onempilo ngokomzwelo wonke umuntu okufanele awusebenzise kungakhathaliseki ukuthi usebudlelwaneni noma ngenye indlela.

Umbhangqwana ngamunye unemithetho yawo kanye nomthetho owodwa onjalo obonisa kahle ukuthi imingcele enempilo ebuhlotsheni kufanele ibukeke kanjani yenziwe nguMnu. Big noCarrie Bradshaw ku-Sex and City 2. U-Carrie uthatha izinsuku ezimbili ukuya efulethini lakhe elidala ukuze aqedele izindatshana zakhe futhi bobabili baba nobusuku obuhle kamuva ngalolo suku. UMnumzane Big ucabanga ukwenza lokho masonto onke, ngoba uyayibona ngempela inzuzo yalokho emshadweni wakhe.

Uthi, “Kungenzekani uma ngingathola eyami indawo? Indawo nje engingaya kuyo izinsuku ezimbili ngeviki, ngicambalale, ngibukele i-TV, futhi ngenze izinto engifuna ukukwenzela zona ezikukhathazayo. Futhi ngezinye izinsuku ezinhlanu, ngizoba lapha futhi ngitholakalele ukudla kwakusihlwa nokucwebezela noma yini.” Nakuba uCarrie ethi akuyona indlela esebenza ngayo imishado, uphendula ngokuthi, “Bengicabanga ukuthi kufanele sizibhalele eyethu imithetho.”

8. Imingcele engokomoya ibalulekile ebudlelwaneni

Ungase ukholelwe ezintweni zokomoya, noma inkolo, noma ube neyakho inkolelo okholelwa kuyo ngokuqinile. Futhi umlingani wakho angaba noma angahlanganyeli lokho nakancane. Kungakho ukukhuluma ngemibono yenu mayelana nengokomoya kanye nokuhlonipha indlela omunye nomunye athatha ngayo ngendaba kungenye yezibonelo zemingcele yamazwi ebalulekile okufanele izilandele imibhangqwana. 

Kubalulekile ukuhlonipha, ukukhuthazana, ukukhuthazana nokufunda komunye nomunye. Kuyisibonelo somngcele onempilo. “Wonke umuntu unelungelo likankulunkulu wakhe, inkolo, uhlelo lwenkolelo yakhe.Noma yini ejwayeleke futhi engakuvumeli ukuba undize usuke eqinisweni futhi uye esihogweni kulungile futhi kuyamukeleka.Akekho onelungelo lokukutshela ukuthi yini okufanele uyikholelwe nokuthi yini ongakholelwa kukho, futhi lokho kungomunye wemingcele okufanele uyibeke ebudlelwaneni. 

"Noma yikuphi okujwayelekile kufanele ukwenze ngokuhlanganyela noma ngaphandle kokuhlanganyela komlingani wakho. Kufana nokuya endlini yangasese, kufanele ukwenze kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kwenzekani. Ukuthi wenza kanjani, ukwenza nini, nokuthi ukwenza kuphi kuyisinqumo sakho. Omunye uhlanza ingaphandle lakho, omunye uhlanza ingaphakathi lakho," kusho uDkt Bhonsle.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izinhlobo Ezi-7 Zemingcele Ozidingayo Ukuze Ubuhlobo Bakho Buqine

9. Ukukhipha amandla angalungile 

Izibonelo zemingcele yomuntu siqu ebudlelwaneni zibekelwe bobabili abalingani. Uma uthukuthele noma uzizwa unenzondo, khuluma ngesimo sakho sengqondo nomlingani wakho kunokuba uqhume ulethe amandla amabi ebudlelwaneni. Ukuzijwayeza izibonelo ezinjalo zemingcele yemizwa kuzokusiza ukuqondisa imizwa yakho ngaphandle kobuthi. Uhlobo olufanele lwemingcele lungasiza ekuvimbeleni ukukhukhuleka ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni.

UDkt. Bhonsle ucabanga ukuthi amandla angalungile mabi kakhulu ebudlelwaneni obunempilo. "Lapho umlingani oyedwa ekhungathekile ngokuthile emsebenzini kodwa efika ekhaya ephethe lokho kukhungatheka futhi akukhiphe ngakomunye, yonke into eseduze izoba yi-snowball nje. Kubalulekile ukuxazulula izinkinga zakho, mhlawumbe ngosizo lomelaphi noma ukufaka nje imicabango yakho enengqondo. Ngokuvamile, abantu bancike ekuziphatheni okungenangqondo, okungase kuqondise kabi," usho kanje. 

Kungakho ukufunda ukubhekana nemizwa yakho enzima ukuze ingakhinyabezi isibopho sakho kuphakathi kwezibonelo ezinempilo zemingcele engokomzwelo ebuhlotsheni. 

10. Ukukhuluma ngezinto ozilindele nsuku zonke kungenye yemingcele okufanele uyibeke ebudlelwaneni

"Siphathe iphathi emasontweni ambalwa edlule endaweni yethu. Ngemuva kokuthi zonke izihambeli zihambile, bekukuningi kabi okumele kuhlanzwe. Angikwazanga ukulinda kuze kube ngakusasa ukuze usizo lwasekhaya lufike luzoyihlanza njengoba ngine-OCD eyeqisayo futhi ngifuna ukuthi konke kwenziwe. Isoka lami liyakuqonda engibhekana nakho, yingakho sobabili sahlanza indlu ngo-4:30 ekuseni, umpheki 27, u-Sush.

Kubalulekile ukucabangela ebudlelwaneni obunempilo. Uma ungumuntu ongalali kahle futhi ukunyakaza komlingani wakho kukuvusa, khuluma ngokufanayo. Uma une-OCD futhi ungathandi izinto ezishiywe zingcolile, tshela umlingani wakho ngakho. Ukufaka izibonelo zemingcele yamazwi ebudlelwaneni bakho kuzosiza ekuvimbeleni ukucasuka okuncane kusuka ekuqhumeni kweqhwa kube amaphuzu okuqalisa.

11. Imingcele yezocansi iyadingeka 

Lokhu kuwela ngaphansi kwazo zonke izigaba zezibonelo zemingcele enempilo ebudlelwaneni efinyelela kokubili emazingeni angokomzimba nangokwengqondo. Ukusondelana kudlala indima enkulu ebudlelwaneni, yingakho ukuxoxa ngamaphupho ocansi , izifiso, kanye nemingcele kubalulekile. Ukucindezela noma ukukhohlisa omunye umuntu obalulekile ukuba enze izinto ezithile ngaphandle kokuqukethwe akukuhle. Ukwethembeka nokuba sengozini kuyadingeka.

UDkt. Bhonsle uyachaza, “Amaphupho nezifiso kufanele kwabelwane ngazo phakathi kwabalingani. Kodwa uma indoda ifuna ukuya ocansini lwendunu futhi inkosikazi ingafuni ngenxa nje yokuthi ine-rectum infection futhi ibeka kuqala futhi iyayazisa impilo yakhe kunenjabulo yesikhashana, kufanele ihlonishwe, ngaphandle kokungabaza. Phela, impilo ingumngane okungafanele ungalokothi ulahlekelwe yiyo. 

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ukuntuleka Kothando Nokusondelana Ebudlelwaneni — Izindlela Eziyi-9 Okukuthinta Ngazo

12. Ukuphatha isikhathi kuphakathi kwezibonelo zemingcele 

Ukuphatha isikhathi kungenye yezibonelo ezingaphansi kodwa ezibalulekile zemingcele ebuhlotsheni. Ukuthi usebudlelwaneni noma cha, ukwazi ukuphatha isikhathi sakho kuzokuthatha indawo. Ukunamathela esimisweni sakho sansuku zonke noma ukuvela emcimbini, ukufika ngesikhathi kukhombisa ukuthi uzihlonipha kangakanani wena nomlingani wakho.

"Lapho imibhangqwana izofuna ukwelashwa, sivame ukusebenzisa isabelo 'Zero Hour' kulabo abanenkinga yokuthola isikhathi sabalingani babo. Umqondo uwukugcizelela iphuzu lokuthi lapho ukhipha isikhathi esimatasa somlingani wakho, unikeza uthando, inhlonipho, isithunzi, nozwelo. Esikhundleni sokuskrola ku-WhatsApp noma ukubuka amavidiyo athile ku-Instagram, kusho uDkt. Bhonsle.

13. Imingcele yezinto ezibonakalayo nezezimali

Imibhangqwana eminingi yabelana ngezinto zayo, kungaba imoto, indlu, noma i-akhawunti yasebhange ehlanganyelwe. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, nabo bafuna ukuzimela kuzo zonke izici. Ukusheshisa imininingwane yokuthi izimali nezinto ezibonakalayo zizohlukaniswa kanjani phakathi kozakwethu bobabili kuba esinye sezibonelo ezibalulekile zemingcele enempilo ebuhlotsheni. 

Izinkinga zemali zingalimaza ubudlelwano , yingakho imingcele yezezimali nezinto ezibonakalayo kufanele kukhulunywe ngayo ngendlela engokoqobo futhi ngaphandle kokuhlekisana noma ukungahloniphani. Lesi ngesinye sezibonelo zemingcele yomuntu siqu ebudlelwaneni esingelula njengoba kubonakala.

14. Ukuba sengozini kuphakathi kwezibonelo zemingcele yemizwa

Ukuba sengozini kuzenzakalela kuwo wonke umuntu, abanye abakubonisi kanti abanye abakwazi ukukufihla. Kunoma ikuphi, ikhono lokuba sengozini nophathina wakho ngaphandle kokuzizwa unesibopho sokwenza kanjalo liphakathi kwezibonelo zemingcele engokomzwelo okufanele yonke imibhangqwana iyilangazelele. Kufanele ukwazi ukukhetha ukuxoxa ngezinto ezithile ngesikhathi esithile ngaphandle kokuzizwa ucindezelwa ukuba wenze kanjalo. 

UDkt. Bhonsle uyachaza, “Ukuba sebudlelwaneni kusho ukuthi usengozini yokuthinteka ngokomzwelo.Udinga ozosebenzisana naye, njengoba kubaluleke kakhulu ukubekela inselele umbono wokuba sengozini.Kudinga abantu ababili ukuze babe nobuhlobo obunempilo.Akukona nje ukumisa izindonga, kumayelana nokuthi ubani ongakhuphuka futhi angene ngaphesheya ukuze abone ubuthakathaka bomlingani wakho futhi ubamukele ngothando nangokumethemba.”

15. Ukucela nokwamukela usizo kuphakathi kwezibonelo zemingcele enempilo emshadweni

Ukucela nokwamukela usizo ngaphandle kokufaka umthwalo wendima yobulili bendabuko kule nkinga kuyisibonelo semingcele engokomzwelo engaba nzima futhi edidayo. Ake sithi, umlingani wakho uzimele futhi akathandi ukufuna usizo ngezinkinga zomndeni noma umsebenzi wakhe, bese umvumela. Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi angase afune usizo kuwe, futhi kufanele ukwazi ukukhuluma ngakho ngobuqotho ngaphandle kokuba nobabili kini nicasuke.

Bobabili abalingani kufanele basizane ngemali, uthando, umsebenzi wasendlini, noma yini umuntu ayidingayo ebuhlotsheni obunempilo ngaphandle kokuletha ubulili esimweni.Ukunikeza nokwamukela usizo kuyisici esiyinhloko sokuba nobuhlobo obunempilo obungokomzwelo nokubeka izibonelo zemingcele enempilo emshadweni, "kusho uDkt. Bhonsle.  

16. Ukuhlala ngokweqiniso ezimisweni

Ukunamathela ezimisweni zakho kuwumngcele ongokomzwelo okudingeka uzibekele wona ukuze ukwazi ukuchuma kokubili njengomuntu ngamunye kanye nengxenye yobudlelwano. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uthandana nobani, akufanele ushintshe ukuze uvumelane nabo noma ujabulise. Futhi yebo, umlingani wakho angase avule ingqondo yakho futhi akwazise imibono emisha, kodwa akufanele akuphoqe ukuthi ugone noma uwamukele ngenxa yokwesaba ukulahlekelwa yiyo. Ushintsho lungokwemvelo, kodwa kwenze ngokwemibandela yakho.

17. Khuluma wena

“Ngikholwa wukuthi ukungezwani kugcwele phakathi kwabantu.Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uhlangana nobani emhlabeni, abekho abantu ababili abafanayo ngendlela abacabanga ngayo.Tshela umlingani wakho ukuthi nifuna ukuxoxisana ngemibandela yokuhloniphana.Esinye sezibonelo zemingcele yenkulumo kuleli cala kungaba ukuthi uma ungathandi ukuthi baphakamise izwi ngenkathi bekhuluma nawe noma begxeka umama wakho ukuze ubeke unyawo lwakho phambi komlingani wakho. ayikho imigomo engaqinisekile. 

“Lesi sidingo sokubeka lesi sibonelo somngcele sisuka endaweni yokugomela, ngakho-ke, asinakuxoxiswa ngaso,” kusho uDkt. Bhonsle. Ufanelwe uthando, umusa, nenhlonipho. Uma umlingani wakho encokola ngento yomuntu siqu phambi kwabangane bakho noma eyabo ocabanga ukuthi ayihloniphi, mtshele ngayo.

Ukuntuleka kozwelo ebudlelwaneni kungaba nemiphumela emibi kakhulu futhi kumele kuxazululwe ngokushesha okukhulu. Kuqala ngokudweba umugqa esihlabathini mayelana nokuthi ungaphathwa kanjani noma ungaphathwa kanjani. Uma umlingani wakho esho izinto ezimbi nezimbi ngesikhathi sengxabano, hlala phansi ucele uxolo. Yazi ukubaluleka kwakho.

18. Ukushintsha ingqondo

“Uma sicabanga ngomphakathi esikhulele kuwo, ngokuvamile siyazama ukubeka abayeni bethu phezu kwesisekelo futhi sinikeze iningi legunya lethu lokuthatha izinqumo kubo, singanakile nokuqaphela.” Ngakho, emishadweni eminingi, sivame ukubona abayeni bebizela amagama, nanoma yini ayishoyo iyisinqumo sokugcina, kungenasidingo esincane sokuqonda imingcele okufanele siyibeke ebuhlotsheni.

“Ngisho noma owesifazane ecabanga okuhlukile, uyamphoqa ukuthi ashintshe umbono wakhe noma kwesinye isikhathi abesifazane bavele bahambe ngoba bengafuni ukucasula uzakwabo,” kusho u-Anna Fernandez, 42, ongumeluleki.

Imibono yakho, izinqumo, ukukhetha kungokwakho. Nguwena kuphela ongashintsha umqondo wakho ngezinto, ungavumeli umlingani wakho akwenze uzizwe unecala ngakho. Uma kwenzeka, ushintsha ingqondo yakho nganoma yiziphi izizathu, ukhulume ngakho futhi ubeke umngcele ongokomzwelo ebuhlotsheni.

19. Ukwabelana ngokuhlanganyela nakho kuyisibonelo semingcele ebudlelwaneni

"Ukuba sengozini kuwumuzwa wemvelo sonke esiba nawo ngezikhathi ezithile. Amadoda amaningi asothandweni akuthola kunzima ukuba sengozini phambi kwabalingani bawo ngoba acabanga ukuthi kuzobenza bangabi ngamadoda. Futhi lezi yizinkambiso zomphakathi esizifaka ngaphakathi ngesikhathi. Kodwa ngibona abashadikazi abasebasha kulezi zinsuku bephula lezi zithiyo futhi baphuma nemizwelo yabo kanye nokuba sengozini kwe-Fernandez.

Ukuba sengozini kuyisici ebudlelwaneni obunempilo, ukudala isikhala sakho nomlingani wakho kubalulekile. Ungabelana uma ufuna ukwabelana, futhi uvumele uzakwenu ajabulele ilungelo elifanayo. Ukuhlola imizwa yomlingani wakho kuhle kodwa ungaphusheli noma ukhohlise ukuze ukhiphe izinto kuye uma zingakalungi.

“Imingcele iyiziqondiso kanye nokulindela esikubeka ebudlelwaneni . Imingcele isiza bobabili abantu ukuthi baqonde ukuthi baziphathe kanjani—ukuziphatha okwamukelekayo nalokho okungeke kubekezelelwe,” kusho uSharon Martin, isazi sezengqondo kanye nochwepheshe we-codetendency.

Ocwaningweni lwakhe, uphinde achaze ukuthi imingcele ibuye ihlukanise umuntu oyedwa komunye. Uma singenayo imingcele, singase siboshwe nabanye. Silahlekelwa umuzwa wethu wobumina. Siba abathokozisi abantu futhi sigxile ekuhlangabezaneni nokulindelwe abanye abantu kunokuba sibe yithi. Futhi uma uboshwe, ungase ungaboni ukuthi unelungelo lokuzenzela izinqumo noma ubeke imingcele.

Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa

Izinto Ezi-5 Okufanele Uhlangane Ngazo Nomlingani Wakho

Amathiphu ayi-15 Agcina Ubudlelwano Buqinile Futhi Bujabule

11 Izimfanelo Zobudlelwano Okufanele Ube Nazo Ukuze Ube Nempilo Ejabulisayo

Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.