"Amadoda akhohlisa ngesizathu esifanayo sokuthi izinja zikhotha amabhola azo ... ngoba ziyakwazi," kusho uSamantha Ucansi kanye noMuzi-2 washo lamazwi. Ngithembe, lesi yisisho esifanelana kangcono nesimo salesi sihloko. Nakuba amadoda elokhu eqamba amanga, abesifazane bazithola sebethandana nendoda eshadile, ngokungenathemba.
Kukhona obaba abathi amadoda kumele ahlanyele i-wild oats kodwa angasho ukuthi angakuyeka nini lokho. Omama abazitika ngocansi abazothi "oh abafana bazoba abafana" bese i-saga iqhubeka kaningi bengazi 'abanye besifazane' ukudumazeka nokudumala, ingasaphathwa eyokulimala kakhulu. Kanti bona qamba amanga amaningana lokho kuphakamisa inkohliso “yothando” yale ndoda eshadile emthakathile kangaka.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Indlela Yokudlula Indoda Eshadile Engikhangwa Yiyo?
Kungani Amadoda Ashadile Aqamba Amanga?
Okuqukethwe
Uma ujula othandweni nendoda eshadile kuyobe kukhona izimpawu zokuthi indoda eshadile iyakusebenzisa. Iseluleko sami kubo bonke abantu besifazane abangashadile abazitika ngalo mkhuba wokuthandana nendoda eshadile wukuthi zibeke ezicathulweni zomkakhe okhona, wangempela. Ungabona ukukhanya.
Bese ujabulele ucansi, sebenzisa isivikelo, bese uthi goodbye noma (bese uphuma). Kodwa iningi labesifazane abangena emanyaleni okushaya indoda eshadile abaqapheli izinto ezi-2:
1. Ukuthi wonke amadoda, ashadile noma cha, azama nje ukungena ephentini lakhe. Akukho romance lapha baby!
2. Akufunayo nje wukuyeka ukufutheka futhi athole izinto ezintsha – akawufuni omunye umshado.
Uma owesifazane ethandana nendoda eshadile kufanele akhumbule ukuthi yisicefe nengcindezi yomshado okwenza indoda ifune ukuzijabulisa ngaphandle komshado.
Uma ucabanga ukuthi bazongena kobunye ubudlelwano besikhathi eside, uthathe inkathazo yesahlukaniso futhi ungene komunye umshado bese unephutha. Amadoda amanga ukuthola lokho abakufunayo hhayi ukukunikeza lokho okufunayo.
5 Amanga Abafazi Bazitshela Uma Sothandweni Nendoda Eshadile
Yinhlakanhlaka yamanga akhiwa yindoda ukuze umfazi akholise futhi amanga owesifazane azitshela ukuthi athethelele akwenzayo akulona iphutha. Wavuma ukuba ngowendoda imfihlo encane engcolile ngethemba ukuthi ngolunye usuku ubudlelwano buyovunywa futhi kuyoba nenjabulo phakade.
Owesifazane uyagcina ukubhekana necala lakhe futhi ezikholisa ngayo yonke indlela ukuthi akayena umuntu obhidlizayo ekhaya. Nanka-ke amanga omunye wesifazane wodumo azitshela wona ebambelele embonweni wokuthi lokhu kuyinto enhle. Uma owesifazane ethandana nowesilisa oshadile nakhu akwenzayo.
1. Kumele kube khona okungahambi kahle kunkosikazi
Abantu bebonke, bavame ukuba nale nkolelo, futhi oziduduza ngala manga “ngomunye wesifazane” odume kabi. Usevele weqe umugqa ongabonakali wobuqotho.
Uyayicabangisisa yonke imibuzo anayo ngesithandwa sakhe esishadile. Kungani enza uthando kimi uma konke kuhamba kahle emshadweni? Kumelwe abe mdala, emubi, engenzi lutho noma enesicefe...yonke imingcele azithethelelayo uyayinxephezela. Akukafiki engqondweni yakhe ukuthi impendulo yombuzo wakhe ilula nje futhi "ngoba - ubukhona."
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: 25 Izizathu zokuthi ungalokothi ulale nendoda eshadile
2. Angenzi lutho olubi, nguyena onesibopho ngomshado wakhe
“Angisiyena oshadile – nguyena.” usho ngokugcizelela “angikhohlisi muntu, kufanele akhathazeke, uyakopela. Angiziphenduleli kunoma ngubani,” kusho omunye wesifazane ongayedwana.
Kufana nekati elicisha amehlo livale ngqi, linethemba lokuthi ngokwenza lokho, umhlaba wonke ngeke ulibambe lintshontsha ubisi, ekhishini likamakhelwane.
Kodwa ingabe kunjalo ngempela? Ukuqomisana kuwumthwalo wemfanelo wowesifazane njengoba nje kuwumthwalo wendoda. Lapho abantu ababili abadala bengena e ukujola ngaphandle komshado bayazi ukuthi benzani futhi imiphi imiphumela. Ngakho ukubheka ngenye indlela akumkhululi owesifazane.
3. Nginesiqiniseko sokuthi uzomdivosa futhi siphile kamnandi
Ukungena othandweni kukodwa nje kuyisimo sengqondo esiluthayo - amanethiwekhi emizwa akhanya ebuchosheni afana nalawo aqalwa yizidakamizwa, utshwala noshokoledi.
Futhi njengoba nje endabeni yezidakamizwa, ubuchopho budinga okwengeziwe ukuze bufinyelele ezingeni elilandelayo lenjabulo. Ngakho-ke, kulolo msindo wokufuna 'okuningi' omunye wesifazane uhlola umuzwa wakhe wokuzalela bese eqala ukwakha esakhe isidleke sothando.
Ephuphuthekiswe ukucindezela kwehomoni yakhe, uyehluleka ukubona ukuthi usevele 'ukhona futhi wakwenza lokho' – enomkakhe. Kulo mjikelezo ononya wokuqamba amanga nokuzikhohlisa, abanye besifazane bafisa kakhulu bhubhisa umndeni owodwa ojabulayo,ukuze aqale eyakhe
4. Nginesiqiniseko sokuthi akasoze angikhohlisa, phela uthi uyangithanda
Endaweni ethile, ezikhathini zokuqonda omunye wesifazane uhlushwa ukukhathazeka ngendlela ecacile - uyangithanda ukuze angangikhohlisi?
Nezwi elincane ngaphakathi liyatshiyoza “kodwa wakhohlisa umkakhe, ukuze nawe ube olandelayo.” Okuyiqiniso cishe njalo.
Njengentshe efihla ikhanda layo ngaphansi kwesihlabathi njalo lapho izwa ingozi, iyazikhohlisa ngokuthi izoba nobuqotho bayo obungapheli. Ompofu omunye wesifazane okhohlisayo. Lokhu akwenzeki. Kanye umkhohlisi njalo umkhohlisi.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Engakufunda Endabeni Yami Nendoda Eshadile
5. Ngifuna ukuba nengane yakhe, njengoba sesithandana
Amadoda amaningi angashadile akuthola kunzima kakhulu ukusho amagama athi “Ngiyakuthanda”. Kodwa-ke, ngomzuzu indoda eshadile iqala ukukopela umkayo, omunye wesifazane uthola onodoli be-I-love-you sengathi usetholile ukuthi uyanamathisela ukuze agcine ukungathembeki kwakhe. Lezi izimpawu eziphelele a indoda eshadile iyakuthanda.
Khonamanjalo uNksz. Omunye wesifazane undizela phezulu ngesethembiso sokuthi a impilo entsha nendoda yakhe eshadile. Lokhu kuwukukhohlisa kakhulu komunye wesifazane, uzophuma ekuvimbeleni inzalo aphikelele ekulahleni ikhondomu, ngoba uyazithanda izingane zakhe kakhulu, akakwazanga ukwala ezakhe.
Kulungile? Akulungile! Lawa manga yisizathu sangempela sokuthi kungani izindaba zokuthandana ngaphandle komshado azivamile ukuhlala. Indoda eshadile igijima yethukile.
Ezinye izindaba zihlala isikhathi eside, amanye amadoda ayaphuma emishadweni yawo ukuze athole impilo entsha ngothando lwawo olusha. Kodwa lezi yizindaba ezingavamile. Futhi ngezinye izikhathi izinkinga azipheli. Babambeka kuze kube phakade empini yesahlukaniso lapho unkosikazi eqhubeka efuna ukutholwa kanye nesondlo esihlekisayo.
Kodwa owesifazane owela indoda eshadile kufanele aqaphele ukuthi ngokuvamile amadoda asuke eqomile ngenxa nje yokuzijabulisa. Ngokuvamile ababheki ngalé kwalo.
Izinyathelo Ezisebenzayo Zokubhekana Nokucindezeleka - Iphaneli Yethu Yabelaphi Iyakutshela
Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
Omunye wabangane bami empeleni waqala off nendoda eshadile coz wayecabanga izimfuno yayo ukuzinikela kancane nokuthi angavele ashiye ubuhlobo noma nini lapho ezwa sengathi!