17 Amaqiniso Angokwengqondo Mayelana Nokukopela

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Ulapha, uzama ukuthola ukuthi kungani umuntu ekhohlisa. Amathuba okuthi uhlangabezane nokuphulwa kokwethenjwa. Uma kwenzeka into enjalo, sivame ukushiywa singazi ukuthi yini okufanele ngabe yenzeka. "Ngabe bekuyimi? Noma kuphezu kwabo kuphela?", "Singakwazi yini ukusinda kulokhu?", "Ingabe kuzophinde kwenzeke?", "Wake waba umkhohlisi, njalo ungumkhohlisi?" Kulungile? Ukuqonda amanye amaqiniso angokwengqondo mayelana nokukopela kungasiza ekuxazululeni okuningi kwalokhu kungabaza.

Ukungathembeki kuyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu kunalokho okubonakala ekuqaleni. Inkanuko akuyona into kuphela eyenza umuntu akhohlise futhi akunakwenzeka ukwakha kabusha ubuhlobo ngemva kwesiqephu sokungathembeki. Ngosizo lomqeqeshi wezempilo ngokomzwelo kanye nokuzindla uPooja Priyamvada (oqinisekisiwe ku-Psychological and Mental Health First Aid ovela eJohns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health kanye naseNyuvesi yaseSydney), ogxile ekwelulekeni ngezindaba zobulili obungaphandle komshado, ake sibheke kabanzi lesi simo esiyinkimbinkimbi sokukhohlisa.

Siyini Isizathu Sezengqondo Sokukopela?

Okuqukethwe

Kodwa saneliseke kakhulu ngokobulili ebuhlotsheni bethu, angikholwa ukuthi wayekopela! kusho uMelinda ekhuluma ngesoka lakhe uJason ebelimqhatha yize lingakhombisi ukungeneliseki ngalobu budlelwano. Nakuba izicelo zikaJason zokuthi “Kumane kwenzekile, bengingakuhlelile” kungase kungasisindisi isimo, iqiniso lihlala liwukuthi akushoyo kungase kube yiqiniso. Amaqiniso esayensi mayelana nokukopela ebudlelwaneni asitshela ukuthi ukuntuleka kocansi akusona isizathu sokungathembeki ngaso sonke isikhathi.

“Ngokwengqondo, kungaba nezizathu eziningi zokuthandana,” kusho uPooja . Nakuba konke kungase kubonakale kuhamba kahle ngaphandle, ukungathembeki kungashaqisa isisekelo sobudlelwano bakho ngokuzumayo. “Intukuthelo nentukuthelo ebudlelwaneni obuyinhloko, izici ezibusayo zobulili obufanayo ebuntwini bomuntu, izinga eliphansi lokuzibophezela, noma izinto ezibangela ukucindezeleka empilweni njengokugula kanye nobunzima bezezimali abantu abafuna ukuphunyuka kuzo konke kungadlala indima ekukopeleni,” kusho uPooja.

"Ngezinye izikhathi, ngisho nesithombe somzimba kanye nezinkinga zokuzethemba zingase ziholele ekutheni umuntu aphishekele umuntu ongaphandle kobudlelwane obuyisisekelo," uyanezela. Uma leli qiniso elibi likushaya njengebhawodi ngaphandle kokuluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka, cishe ngeke ubheke ucwaningo ngokukopela noma uzame ukuthola ukuthi iyini i-psychology ebangela ukukopela. Kodwa lapho imizwa isiqala ukuzinza, uyaqiniseka ukuthi uyazibuza, kungani kwenzeka? Kwenzekani ngaphakathi emqondweni womkhohlisi? Yini eyenza umuntu abe nesibindi? Ochwepheshe bavame ukukhomba lezi zizathu ezingu-8 ezivame kakhulu zokungathembeki ebudlelwaneni:

Anger
Izinkinga zokuzethemba
Ukuntula uthando nokusondelana
Ukuzibophezela okuphansi
Isidingo ezihlukahlukene
Ukunganakwa
Isifiso socansi
Ukukopela ngokwesimo

Kuye ngezici zobuntu bomuntu, ubudlelwano bomndeni , ngisho nobudlelwano bakhe bangaphambilini, izizathu zakhe zingase zihluke. Ngaphezu kwalokho, amaqiniso angokwengqondo ngendoda ekhohlisayo angase ahluke kweyowesifazane. Ingqondo ngemuva kokukopela nokuqamba amanga iyinkimbinkimbi, kodwa uma uzifundisa kakhulu ngale ndaba, uzobe uhlomele kangcono ukubhekana nalesi sihlava.

Uma njengamanje ulwa nokubhekana nokuqolwa, izibalo zokukopela ngeke zisize ukudambisa ubuhlungu. Eqinisweni, ukwembula isizathu sokungathembeki kungase kumane kukwenze ukhumbule ubuhlungu futhi. Noma kunjalo, okuwukuphela kwendlela yokubhekana nakho ngokungacindezeli le mizwa futhi uthole izimpendulo zanoma imiphi imibuzo ongase ube nayo mayelana nengqondo yomkhohlisi.

17 Amaqiniso Angokwengqondo Mayelana Nokukopela

Naphezu kokucwaswa okuhlobene nokungathembeki, kuyamangaza ukuthi kuvame kangakanani! Kodwa kuvame kangakanani ngempela? Ake sibheke amanye amaqiniso ngabakhohlisi kanye nokukhohlisa ebudlelwaneni ukuze sithole, akunjalo? Ngokusho kwe- American Psychological Association, cishe ama-20-40% ezehlukaniso eMelika abangelwa ukungathembeki. Futhi yize izifundo zokungathembeki zizokutshela ukuthi amadoda akhohlisa kakhulu, lezi zifundo zibonisa nokwanda okuqhubekayo kwenani labesifazane abangathembekile.

Ngawo wonke ama-nitty gritty endaweni ake singene sijule kulokho okwenzeka ngaphansi komhlaba. Uzokuhlomela kangcono ukuphatha ukwephulwa kokwethembana ebudlelwaneni bakho uma usuqonda ukuthi yini i-psychology ebangela ukungathembeki. Nawa amaqiniso angokwengqondo athakazelisayo mayelana nokukopela:

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ukubuka Konke Kwezigaba Zokuba Necala Ngemva Kokukhohlisa

1. Ukukopela “kungenzeka nje”

Yebo, kungenzeka ukuthi umuntu osebudlelwaneni obuzibophezele, obekwe ezindleleni zokuthatha umfazi oyedwa, angase agcine ekhohlisa ngenxa yesimo. Kungenzeka, ngomqondo othile, “kwenzeka nje”. “Kwesinye isikhathi ithuba lokuba nesitendi sobusuku obubodwa noma nihlangane ningazibophezeli-akukho-ngozi kungaholela ekukopeleni.” Izimo ezidala ukukopela zivela lapho abantu bethola ithuba lokuba nophathina abaningi, noma uma umuntu enomlingani engeke athole lutho ngendaba yokuqomisana. Lezi zimo zingaholela ekutheni azifake engozini,” kusho uPooja. Cabanga ngezimo ezilandelayo:

Ninobudlelwano obukude futhi kade ningabonani
Umuntu okhangayo ubonisa isithakazelo kuwe futhi uzizwa ulingeka
Unomuzwa wokuthi akukhona ukuhlangana ngokomzwelo ngakho akufanele kubalwe njengokukopela
Kunotshwala obuhilelekile, futhi ucabanga ukuthi ungakusola ngesimo sakho sengqondo
Udlula ebuhlotsheni obuphansi futhi ufisa ukuzizwa waziswa, ubonwa, uthandwa

Manje ake ucabange uma zonke lezi zimo bezihlanganiswe zibe yisiqephu esisodwa esiphelele. Ngokwasemuva okunjalo, ukukopela "kungenzeka nje". Uma ubucabanga ukuthi kuzoba nokuhleleka okucacile kwengqondo kokuthi kungani abantu bekopela, noma kungani umlingani wakho elokhu egawula inkawu ngaso sonke isikhathi, ungase udumale ukuthola ukuthi kungase kube ukungabi nangqondo njengoba umkhohlisi esho. Uma sekushiwo lokho, akumniki umkhohlisi izaba.

2. I-inthanethi nezinkundla zokuxhumana zenze ukukopela kwaba lula

Ukukhuluma ngezimo ezithinta ukukopela, ufunda ukuthi, ukufika kwe-inthanethi nezinkundla zokuxhumana kube nomthelela ekungethembeki komshado nasebudlelwaneni okwandayo. Sivumele ukuchaza ukuthi kanjani:

Abantu abahlukumezekile ngokwenhlalo kanye nabethuli bakopela kalula ku-inthanethi ngenxa yokuba sengcupheni okuncane
Abantu abalwa nezinkinga zokungazethembi bakuthola kulula kakhulu ukudlala ngothando ku-inthanethi. Abantu abaningi bakhohlisa umuntu ohlukile, abanye bacasha ngesiteketiso
Inkundla yezokuxhumana manje ivumela umuntu ukuthi agcine ulwazi ngowayethandana naye, umuntu omdala othandana naye, nanoma ubani obamba izinto ezithandwayo. Uma umuntu esevele enenkinga yokuzibophezela, nasi izaba eziphelele zokuthi “buka nje” noma “ukuba nezingxoxo ezingenabungozi kuphela”, ukuzihlanganisa namanga amhlophe.
Abantu abaningi bacabanga ukukopela virtual futhi izindaba ze-inthanethi akuyona into enkulu. Abantu bagcina ngokukopela ngokomzwelo kubalingani babo futhi kubangele umonakalo omkhulu ebudlelwaneni babo, izikhathi eziningi ngaphandle kokuqaphela noma ukuvuma ukukopela nhlobo.

indlela yokulungisa ubudlelwano obumoshile: xolisa ngemuva kokukopela — Umkhohlisi angashintsha njalo, inqobo nje uma ethanda

3. Abakhohlisi bangashintsha

Sekuyisikhathi sokuthi siyiqedele le nganekwane. Ukuthi umuntu uqhathe kanye akusho ukuthi uzohlala engumkhohlisi. Uma umlutha engakwazi ukuqeda ukulutheka okubi kakhulu futhi ahlanzeke, umuntu okhohlise kanye angayihlonipha imithetho yokuba nomfazi oyedwa. Yiqiniso, lokhu kusebenza kuphela kulabo abafuna ngempela ukushintsha, hhayi labo abacabanga ukuthi ukukopela kumnandi.

Ukukopela okungapheli, ukukopela okuvamile, noma ukukopela okuyimpoqo akukakamenyezelwa ngokwesayensi njengezizathu zokungathembeki, ngakho-ke singakukhiphela ngaphandle lokhu kule ngxoxo okwamanje. Kodwa, ukukopela okuphindaphindiwe kokusebenza kwengqondo kuvame ukuzungeza ezindabeni ezijulile ezingakaxazululwa yilowo okuthiwa ngumenzi wobubi. Kodwa uma kubhekwa ukuthi kungenzeka kanjani ukuguqula impilo yakho ngokuzibophezela nokuzibophezela, yonke impikiswano “uma ungumkhohlisi, ohlale engumkhohlisi” ayinawo umlenze wokuma.

4. Ukukopela akukhona njalo ocansini

Ngokuphambene nombono ovamile, ubudlelwano obungenabo ubulili abuyona njalo imbangela eyinhloko yokungathembeki. “Elinye lamaqiniso anganakwa kakhulu mayelana nokukopela ebudlelwaneni ukuthi akusikho njalo ngocansi noma ukusondelana ngokocansi,” kusho uPooja, “Imibhangqwana kumele iguquke ndawonye kuzo zonke izinhlaka zokuphila. Ubulili bungenye yalezo zingqimba. Uma bobabili abalingani behambisana ngezindlela ezahlukene, kungaholela ekukopeleni.”

Izibopho ezingokomzwelo zingakhula kwenye indawo futhi zithathe indawo yesibopho esiyinhloko. “Ngokuvamile, abantu bathola okuthile okungahambi kahle ngokomzwelo noma ngokobuhlakani ebudlelwaneni babo obuyinhloko, bese omunye umlingani evala leso sikhala,” uyanezela. Kungaba nabashayeli abaningi bemizwa ngemuva kokukopela:

'Umlingani wasemsebenzini' angagcina esondele kakhulu
Abangane abakhulu bangase beqe imingcele embalwa
Umuntu angase athandeke ngokomzwelo kulowo mngane obonakala engumuntu ophelele ongakhononda kuye ngomlingani wakho
I-AA noma ilungu leqembu lokusekela lingase lithole lokho obhekene nakho ekuphileni kangcono kunomlingani wakho
Ofunda naye wabelana ngokuzilibazisa okungajwayelekile okufanayo wonke umuntu anqaba ukukuthatha ngokungathi sína

Ukukopela ngokomzwelo kungase kuqale futhi kuhlale kuyinto enengqondo isikhathi eside. Yingakho ukubamba izimpawu zakho kuba nzima. Izifundo ziphakamisa ukuthi iqiniso elingokwengqondo ngabesifazane abakopelayo ukuthi bafuna ukugcwalisa isidingo esingokomzwelo futhi abafuni ngaso sonke isikhathi ucansi. Nakuba abanye bengathi ukukopela ngokocansi kulimaza kakhulu kunokukopela ngokomzwelo, ingabe ukukopela ngokomzwelo akubeki yini usongo olukhulu kakhulu ekusondeleni ebuhlotsheni bokuqala? Lokho kuyinto okufanele uyicabangele.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ukuziphatha Ngemva Kokubanjwa Ukhohlisa - Izinto Ezi-5 Ongazilindela Nezinto Ezi-7 Okufanele Uzenze

5. Abesilisa nabesifazane basabela ngendlela ehlukile ezinhlotsheni ezihlukene zokukopela

Izifundo eziningi ezisekelwe ocwaningweni zikhombisile ukuthi amadoda nabesifazane babheka ukungathembeki ngendlela ehlukile. Elinye lamaqiniso athakazelisayo mayelana nokukopela ebudlelwaneni ukuthi indoda ingasabela kakhulu ekungathembekini ngokocansi. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, abesifazane bazizwa beshukunyiswa kakhulu ukungathembeki ngokomzwelo. Ososayensi sebezame isikhathi eside ukuqonda isizathu salo mehluko. Abanye baze bakubeka ezidingweni zokuziphendukela kwemvelo zobulili ngabunye, kodwa abakafinyeleli esiphethweni esifanayo.

6. Abaqola abaningi bakwenza ngoba benomuzwa wokuthi abanakiwe

Lokhu kuvame kakhulu kwabesifazane abakhohlisayo. Unomfazi okhohlisayo futhi ufuna ukuqonda ukuthi kungani ekwenza? Cishe ubelokhu ezizwa enganakwa ngokomzwelo emshadweni. Ukuntuleka kokuxhumana ngokomzwelo nomlingani oyinhloko, kanye nokuzizwa engaziswa, engabalulekile, enganakwa, edelelwa, engahlonishwa, noma engaqondwa kahle kuyizinhlobo ezahlukene zokunganakwa ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni. Nakuba lokhu kungenzeka kakhulu ukuthi kuthinte ukukhetha kowesifazane ukukopela, ngisho namadoda angaphambuka uma lokhu kwenzeka ekhaya.

7. Abantu bangakopela ukuze baziphindiselele

Lokhu kungaba yisizathu esimangalisayo sokuthi abantu babe nobudlelwano bobulili obuhlukile, noma ungathi isizathu esingavuthiwe sokuphinga. Kodwa kuseyiqiniso. Ingqondo yokukhohlisa yokuziphindiselela isekelwe ekuziphatheni kokuziphindiselela. Abantu ngezinye izikhathi bazama ukuziphindiselela kubalingani babo ngokubakhohlisa. Umuntu angakwenza lokhu ukuze aziphindiselele ngohlobo oluhlukile noma olufana nalo lokukhohlisa, noma olunye ubuhlungu obubangelwe bona. Ukukhohlisa kokuziphindiselela kuyimpendulo engokomzwelo esebenzisa umuntu wesithathu kodwa kusagxile kumlingani oyinhloko. Umuntu angakubona futhi lokhu njengokuziphatha kokufuna ukunaka.

8. Ukungathembeki kungaba umphumela wezinkinga zempilo yengqondo

Kukhona ukuxhumana okuqondile phakathi kwezinkinga zempilo yengqondo kanye nokuntuleka kokulawula, noma ngamanye amazwi, ukukhathazeka nokucindezeleka okuholela ekungathembeki. Ngendlela abantu ababhekana ngayo nokuhlukumezeka nokucindezeleka abazama ukuzenza ndikindiki ngezinto eziluthayo, bangasebenzisa ukuziphatha okuhlanekezele ocansini ngenjongo efanayo. Abantu abane-bipolar disorder bangathola i-hypersexuality. Abantu ababhekene nokucindezeleka bangabheka ukugijima kwe-adrenaline okungalethwa ukucasha nokukopela.

9. Abantu abakhohlisayo abahlale bephelelwa uthando nomlingani wabo wokuqala

Ukungajabuli ebudlelwaneni bokuqala kungaba phakathi kwezizathu eziphambili zokukhaphela abalingani babo kodwa abantu abasebudlelwaneni obujabulisayo nabo bangakhohlisa. Ngisho noma ukungathembeki kungenzeka kwenzeke ngenxa yezizathu ezingokomzwelo, akusho ukuthi umuntu okhohlisayo usephelelwe uthando nomlingani wakhe oyinhloko.

Kodwa ungakwazi ukukopela umuntu omthandayo? Kuningi okunye okungaholela ekutheni umuntu ozinikele aphambuke:

Umkhohlisi angase abe othandweni olujulile nozakwethu kodwa aqhubeke efuna okuthile okungaphandle kwamandla ayinhloko
Ukukopela kungase kube umphumela wesidingo sokujabula, isisusa esisekelwe kubuntu bakhe
Kungase kugqugquzelwe amandla amasha obudlelwano, okungenzeka kungabikho ebudlelwaneni bokuqala kusukela ekupheleni kwesigaba se-honeymoon.
Ithuba lingaziveza ngesikhathi esibuthakathaka

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Amaphupho Mayelana Nokukhohlisa Umlingani Wakho? Nakhu Kusho Ukuthini Empeleni

10. Abaqola abafisi ngaso sonke isikhathi ukuqeda ubuhlobo babo bamanje

Ucwaningo lwamaqiniso angokwengqondo ngowesifazane okhohlisayo luye lwafakazela ukuthi abesifazane abaningi abakhohlisi ukuze baqede ubuhlobo babo obuyinhloko. Kunoma isiphi isizathu, uma owesifazane enquma ukukopela, ukwenza ukuze anezele ubuhlobo bakhe obuyinhloko neshende, hhayi ukukuqeda. Mhlawumbe ngisho nakulabo abahileleke ekukopeleni, izifundo zisitshela ukuthi kungenzeka abafuni ngempela ukuqeda ubuhlobo babo. Isici sokushayela lapha singase sibe ukuthambekela kwe-polyamorous noma izinga eliphansi lokuzinikela.

11. Ukuqomisana kungase kubangelwa isifiso esinamandla sokuzisungula kabusha

I-Gleeden, iwebhusayithi yokuthandana yabantu abashadile, yenze ucwaningo ngabesifazane abashadile futhi yathola ukuthi abesifazane babe nobulili obuhlukile nabathandekayo babo kunabayeni babo. Lokhu kubonisa ngokusobala ukuthi abantu bangaba yizinguqulo ezihlukene zabo nabantu abahlukene, cishe baphila impilo embaxambili ngokoqobo.

Lesi yisizathu esanele sokuthi kungani abantu bekhohlisa ukuze bazibheke ngendlela entsha. Kuyithuba lokuziveza futhi njengomuntu ohluke ngokuphelele kumuntu othandana naye. Kuyithuba lokuzikhulula emithwalweni edlule noma ukuphuma emfanekisweni womuntu okhona emehlweni omlingani omdala. I-amour entsha eceleni iyisilayidi esihlanzekile sokwenza ama-etchings amasha.

12. Abanye abantu bayakopela ngenxa yokungahambelani nocansi

Uma imibhangqwana ingakutholi ukwaneliseka ngokocansi ebudlelwaneni babo obuyinhloko ngenxa ye-libidos engafani, i-kinks engahambelani, noma imicabango yocansi, maningi amathuba okuthi bayofuna ucansi kwenye indawo. Isidingo sokugcwalisa ukusondelana ngokomzimba singaba isisusa esikhulu sokuziphatha okuxekethile.

Nakuba umuntu engacabanga ukuthi lokhu kungaba iqiniso elingokwengqondo ngendoda ekhohlisayo, lolu cwaningo luthole ukuthi abesifazane banamathuba amaningi “okuzibandakanya ekungathembekini lapho bengahambisani ngokocansi nomlingani wabo, okungase kubonise ukuxhumana kwezici zocansi nobudlelwano ekwandiseni amathuba okungathembeki”.

13. Abanye abaningi bayakopela ngenxa yokukhathazeka ngocansi

Cabanga ukuthi ubungeke ulindele ukuzwa amaqiniso anjalo ngabakhohlisi. Ubungalindela ukuthi abakhohlisi bamane nje baqiniseka kakhulu ngokocansi futhi bayazidela kunoJoe ojwayelekile. Kodwa kuthiwani uma sithi, okuphambene nakho kungaba yiqiniso? Abanye abantu bayakopela ngoba bahlushwa ukukhathazeka ngokusebenza ngokocansi futhi bafuna indawo engavikelekile kakhulu, engaziwa kakhulu yocansi ukuze bangakhathazeki ngomphumela.

Lokho kungenye nje yezinto ezimangazayo ezitholwe ocwaningweni olusha mayelana nezici ezibikezela ukungathembeki. Laba bantu bavame ukufuna ukushada ubusuku obubodwa noma ukushada kwesikhashana ukuze noma ngabe behluleka esenzweni, bangaphinde bakhathazeke ngokubhekana nalo muntu.

14. Ukungathembeki akuhleli kuhleliwe

Uma bekopela, kumele ngabe bebecabanga ngakho kusukela ngosuku lokuqala, akunjalo? Kufanele ukuthi babeyihlele yonke into ekhanda labo. Awukwazi ukuthola noma yikuphi ukubhukha kwehhotela ngaphansi kwegama lakho? Hhayi-ke, mhlawumbe basebenzise igama elingelona iqiniso, bebelokhu becabanga lokhu kuze kube phakade, akunjalo?

Cha, akunjalo ngempela. “Akuwona wonke umuntu owenza ishadi lokukhohlisa,” kusho uPooja, “Ngokuvamile, kungumphumela wezici eziningi eziholela abantu abazinikele ekubhekeni ngaphandle kobudlelwano babo obuyinhloko. Lezi zici zingaba ngokomzwelo, ngokwengqondo, futhi ngezinye izikhathi zibe ngokoqobo njengokungakwazi ukuchitha isikhathi esanele nomlingani wakho, noma ukulahlekelwa isithakazelo ebuhlotsheni , njll..”

15. Ukukopela akubuqedi ngaso sonke isikhathi ubuhlobo

Uma imininingwane mayelana nesayikholoji yokukopela isitshela ukuthi umkhohlisi angashintsha, lokho kusho ukuthi ubudlelwano bungasinda ekushayweni okunjalo. Kungase kuzwakale sengathi isibopho enabelana ngaso nobabili sesenziwe ize ngoba umlingani wakho uthathe esinye isithandwa. Futhi kufanele, futhi. Ukuthembana kubhidliziwe, futhi ukukusekela kungase kubonakale kungenakwenzeka. Kodwa njengoba uzobona ngokushesha, akunjalo.

"Ubudlelwano obuningi buyasinda ezindabeni, kwesinye isikhathi ngisho nezindaba eziningi. Eqinisweni, imibhangqwana eminingi ingena esigabeni esingcono sobudlelwano bayo ngemuva kokululama ekuqomeni. Ukukopela kungasho izinto eziningi ebuhlotsheni obuhlukene futhi akudingeki buqede," kusho uPooja.

Ukuthethelela umuntu okhohlisile akuyona into elula kakhulu emhlabeni. Kodwa njengoba isimo sengqondo sokukhohlisa nokuqamba amanga sibonisa ukuthi umuntu okhohlisile akahlali ekhohlisile impilo yakhe yonke, ukwakha kabusha ukwethembana kungenzeka kunoma iyiphi indlela.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Amathiphu Ochwepheshe Ayisishiyagalombili Okusinda Enkingeni Yomshado

16. Ukusebenza ngokungethembeki kungenza ubudlelwano buqine

Ukubhekana nokungathembeki ebudlelwaneni kungaba yinto ebuhlungu kakhulu kubantu ababili. Izifundo ezahlukene zinikeza izibalo ezahlukene kodwa kuphephile ukuvuma ukuthi ingxenye noma u-50% wemishado ebhekene nalolu daba iphelela ngokuhlukana noma isehlukaniso. Lokhu kusho ukuthi ingxenye yabo iyasinda enkingeni yomshado. Ochwepheshe bakholelwa ukuthi ukusebenza ngokubhekana nokungathembeki kungasondeza abantu ababili, futhi imibhangqwana ephumelelayo ekubhekaneni nalesi siphepho iphuma iqine kakhulu.

Lezi ezinye izindaba ezinhle ngasekupheleni kwalesi sihloko. Uma ubhekene nokungathembeki emshadweni wakho, funa usizo lochwepheshe, unikeze ubudlelwano bakho i-TLC edingekayo nesikhathi sekhwalithi, futhi unikeze ukuzibophezela okukudingayo futhi ubudlelwano bakho ngeke bugcine ngokusinda, bungachuma.

17. Ibhonasi okungahleliwe ukukopela amaqiniso

Manje njengoba sesikhiphe izinganekwane ezimbalwa abantu abavame ukuzibamba ngabakhohlisi, singase sibheke izinombolo zokukopela ezithakazelisayo abantu abaningi abajwayele ukuzazi. Ake singene kwamanye amaqiniso okukopela:

Izifundo basikisela ukuthi abesifazane bakopela ngo-40% ngaphezu kwalokho ababekwenza, engxenyeni yokugcina yekhulunyaka
A cwaningo bathole ukuthi abesilisa banamathuba amaningi okukopela ngaphambi kokuba bafinyelele usuku lokuzalwa oluyingqopha-mlando, okungukuthi, lapho beneminyaka engu-29, 39, 49, no-59
A cwaningo uthola ukuthi abangane bomshado abathembele ngokwezimali maningi amathuba okuba bakhohlise abalingani babo. Endabeni yenkosikazi ethembele kumyeni wayo ngokwezimali, cishe ma-5% amathuba okuthi izokopela. Endabeni yendoda ethembele kunkosikazi wayo ngokwezimali, kunamathuba angu-15% okuthi izokopela
Iqiniso elijwayelekile elingokwengqondo ngendoda nowesifazane abakopelayo ukuthi maningi amathuba okuthi bakopele nabangane abaseduze, a cwaningo uthola
Futhi lokho abantu asebekhulile ngokuvamile kungenzeka kakhulu ukukopela kunabantu abasha

Kuphephile ukusho ukuthi amaqiniso esayensi mayelana nokukopela asekelwe kudatha esetshenziswayo kanye nezinganekwane esizenzile aphakamisa ishiya noma amabili. Lo mkhuba uvame ukugqitshwa, futhi ngezinye izikhathi ungaba umsebenzi ongenangqondo okusho ukuthi "okwenzeka nje".

Izikhombi Ezibalulekile

I-Psychology ngemuva kokungathembeki ivame ukuhluka, futhi izinganekwane esikholelwa ukuthi azilona iqiniso. Ukuqonda amaqiniso angokwengqondo mayelana nokukopela kungasiza ekulawuleni ukungathembeki ebudlelwaneni
Kungaba nezizathu eziningi zokungathembeki, njengezindaba zokuzethemba, ukulungisa, nezindaba zobudlelwano, ukuntula uthando, ukuzinikela okuphansi, isidingo sokuhlukahluka, ukungabi sekhasini elifanayo mayelana nezifiso zocansi, noma ukuzizwa unganakiwe ebudlelwaneni.
Ukukopela ebuhlotsheni akusho ukuthi kuhleliwe, futhi akusho ukuthi ubuhlobo obuyinhloko buyohluleka
Abantu abasebudlelwaneni obujabulisayo bangagcina sebekopela, futhi ukungathembeki kungase kungabi njalo ngokobulili

Ukungathembeki ebudlelwaneni kuyindaba encike kakhulu futhi ebucayi. Lokho okuzwakala njengokukhaphela omunye kungase kube ukudlala ngothando okungenangozi ngomunye umuntu. Ngethemba, amaphuzu esiwabalile namuhla azokusiza uqonde ukungathembeki, wena, umlingani wakho, kanye nobudlelwano bakho kakhudlwana. Udinga ukuba sekhasini elifanayo mayelana nokungathembeki nomlingani wakho futhi ukuchaze ngobudlelwano bakho kwasekuqaleni.

Uma okwamanje ubhekene nokungathembeki noma into efana naleyo ebudlelwaneni bakho, ukwelashwa kwabashadile kungakusiza ukuthi ubhekane nalezi zinkinga. I-Bonobology inabeluleki abaningi abanolwazi abangathanda ukukusiza ngalesi sikhathi esinzima. Cela usizo.

Lesi sihloko sibuyekezwe ngo- Ephreli 2023.

Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa

1. Iyini ipsychology ebangela ukukopela?

Ngokuya ngobuntu bomuntu, ukuguquguquka komndeni wabo, izimiso zokuziphatha, nezinye izici, i-psychology yokukopela kanye nezizathu zokungathembeki ziyahlukahluka. Nokho, isizathu sokukopela ngokuvamile siphakathi kwalezi zici eziyisithupha: ukuntuleka kothando, ukuzibophezela okuphansi, isidingo sokuhlukahluka, ukunganakwa, isifiso sobulili, nokukopela izimo.

2. Yiziphi izici zobuntu abakopela abafana ngazo?

Nakuba kungase kube nzima ukuphina izici zobuntu ezivamile, ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi labo abanobunzima bokulawula izifiso zabo, ukusebenza amahora amade, noma ukuthambekela kwe-narcissistic bangase bathambekele kakhulu ekukopeleni abalingani babo.

3. Kuthini ukukopela ngomuntu?

I-psychology yabakopela ingahluka kuye ngokuthi kungani bakhohlise. Ngokwesibonelo, uma beye bakopela ngoba befuna ukulimaza umlingani wabo, bangase babhekwe njengabantu abanonya futhi abangathembekile kubantu. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma izici zesimo ziholela ekukopeleni komlingani onokwethenjelwa, zingase zibhekwe njengomuntu ongakwazi ukulawula izifiso zabo.

Ingabe Uyakopela Noma Ngiyi-Paranoid? Izinto Ezingu-11 Okufanele Uzicabange Kakhulu!

Uzithethelela Kanjani Ngokukopela Nokungatsheli - Amathiphu angu-8 Awusizo

18 Izimpawu Eziqinisekile Zesoka Elikhohlisayo

Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.