Izibonelo Eziyi-15 Zezinjongo Ezihlakaniphile Zobudlelwano Nendlela Yokuzibeka

Yehla ngamakhilo ayishumi ehlobo. Funda okungenani izincwadi ezintathu ngenyanga. Chitha isikhathi esiningi nomama. Uhlu lwami lwezinto engizozenza luhlala lushintsha. Ngisanda kuhlangana nomqondo wemigomo ye-SMART yobudlelwano bothando, okungimangazile. Iyini imigomo yobudlelwano manje? Inhloso yami yobudlelwano okuwukuphela kwayo kube 'ukuhlala ngishadile', ngakho bengifisa ukwazi okwengeziwe. 

Njengami, abantu abaningi bahlobanisa ukubekwa kwemigomo nokuthuthuka komuntu siqu noma ngokomsebenzi wakho. Kodwa, ngokochwepheshe, ukubeka imigomo engenzeka ebudlelwaneni kungazuzisa wena nomlingani wakho ngezindlela eziningi. Lapho abantu ababili benokucaca ngezidingo zabo nalokho okulindelekile, kwakha isisekelo esinempilo nesishukumisayo. 

Iyini Imigomo Ehlakaniphile? 

Ziyini ngempela lezi zibonelo zemigomo ye-SMART yokuxhumana nokwakha ubudlelwano? Nokho, i-SMART imele okuthi Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, kanye ne-Time-Bound. Ake sibheke ngokucophelela ngayinye yalezi bese sixoxa ngezibonelo ezivame kakhulu zemigomo ye-SMART yobudlelwano obunempilo.

1. Ngokuqondile 

Ifika phansi ibe yiziteki zethusi lapha. Ukuze noma yimuphi umgomo uphumelele, bobabili abalingani badinga ukucacisa ngezidingo zabo kanye nalokho abakulindele ebuhlotsheni obushiwo. Uma ukhomba into ethile oyifunayo ebudlelwaneni bakho, ususa isikhala sokungabaza nokungahambisani. Izibonelo ezimbalwa ezijwayelekile zokubeka imigomo yobudlelwano besikhathi eside kungaba,

• Uma ufuna ukuzibophezela nokukhethekile, yisho kanjalo
• Uma uzibuza ukuthi uzokhuluma nini ngekusasa ebudlelwaneni, isikhathi manje
• Uma udinga isikhala nesikhathi uwedwa, ungesabi ukusho lokhu

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2. Kuyalinganiseka 

Yilapho iba ngokoqobo. Uma unomgomo noma umbono ofuna ukusebenzela kuwo, yilapho ulinganisa khona inqubo. Ake ngichaze. Ithi nobabili nifuna ukuthenga ikhaya ndawonye eminyakeni embalwa. Manje yilapho ninquma khona ukuthi malini nobabili enihlele ukulondoloza kulo mgomo. Beka phansi inani elingakaleka nyanga zonke. Lokhu akupheleli ekuhlosweni kwezezimali. Ungase futhi ulinganise izici ezithile ezifana nenani lesikhathi enivumelana ngaso nobabili. 

3. Kuyafezwa 

Ukuze noma yiluphi ubudlelwano obuhle buqhubeke, imigomo kumele ifezeke. Uma kungekho ndlela yokuhlangana izinsuku eziyisikhombisa ngesonto, pho kungani ukubeke phansi lokhu njengomgomo? Ngokufanayo, uma imiholo yenu yomibili ingavumeli ukonga okuningi, khona-ke ngokweqiniso, ningayibeka kanjani eceleni ingxenye yendlu yamaphupho enu? Uma izindinganiso zobudlelwano benu zingahambisani nomlingani wakho, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuzibuza imibuzo enzima ngaphambi kokuzibophezela kunoma yikuphi ukucindezela okwengeziwe ebudlelwaneni benu.

4. Kuyafaneleka 

Ukuze noma iyiphi inhloso ihambisane, kufanele ihambisane nobuntu bakho, izimiso ezibalulekile, nendlela yokuphila. Uma kungenjalo, umgomo uzohluleka kusukela ekuqaleni. Zikhumbuze ukuthi kungani umgomo ubalulekile kuwe; lokhu kuzokwenza umehluko emizamweni yenu ehlangene yokuyibona. Lokhu kubambele kokubili imigomo yobudlelwano besikhathi eside kanye neyesikhathi esifushane.

5. Isikhathi esinqunyelwe 

Ekugcineni, sinesikhathi esinqunyiwe. Uma umgomo wakho 'ukwenza ubudlelwano buhlale isikhathi eside', ukuchaza izikhathi zezigaba ezahlukene zobudlelwano kungenza ukufeza okuyinhloko kube lula. Ngakho-ke, hlalani ndawonye nixoxe,

• Ungathanda umshado ngemva kweminyaka emithathu nithandana?
• Ukushada ngemva konyaka uthembisene umshado?
• Unezingane phakathi neminyaka emibili yomshado? 

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Kungani Udinga Imigomo Ehlakaniphile Yobudlelwano? 

Uma uzwa sengathi lokhu kuyi-OTT futhi kudlulele, futhi ungathanda ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho buhambe ngokwemvelo, ngizwe. Kunesizathu sokuthi ukusethwa kwegoli kuba semqoka ekwakheni ubudlelwano obuyimpumelelo - noma ngabe nobabili nisaqala noma senineminyaka eminingana ningaphansi kwebhande lenu ndawonye, ​​ukubeka imigomo ye-SMART yokwakha ubudlelwano kukusiza ngalezi zindlela ezilandelayo:  

1. Yonga isikhathi 

Ukubhala phansi imigomo yakho kanye nokulindele kusukela ekuqaleni kuyindlela elula yokuhlola ukuthi wena nomlingani wakho niyafanelana yini . Kungani uchitha isikhathi sakho esiyigugu nomuntu ongahambisani nawe?

2. Igcina ingokoqobo

Imizwa ingashintsha, futhi iyashintsha. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, wena nozakwenu nizoba nemibono ehlukene mayelana nokuthi nifuna ukuba kuphi nokuthi nifuna ukufika kanjani lapho. Imizwa izokwehla yenyuka, bese kuvela izinselelo. Ezikhathini ezinjengalezi, ukubeka imigomo ye-SMART yokwakha ukwethembana nenhlonipho kuzosiza ukugcina konke kubuswa ngaphakathi nangaphansi kokulawula.

3. Ikusiza ukuthi uhlale unomdlandla 

Imigomo ehlakaniphile yomshado/ubudlelwano ikusiza ukuthi ugcine iso lakho lisemklomelweni. Ikukhumbuza ukuthi kungani waqala futhi ikuqondise endleleni efanele. Ukuba nomgomo wokugcina obonakalayo kungenye yezindlela ezinamandla kakhulu zokungalilahli uthando.

4. Ikugcina unesibopho

Ukuzibekela imigomo yobudlelwano besikhathi eside kukuphoqa ukuthi wenze izinto ngokuzibophezela futhi uthathe izinto ngokungathi sína. Konke kumnandi nemidlalo kuze kungene izinkinga ezifana nezikweletu noma ukungathembeki! Ukubeka okulindelekile kuqinisekisa ukuthi bobabili ozakwethu basekhasini elifanayo futhi bayakuhlonipha lokho okulindele. 

Ngakho-ke, kubalulekile ukuthi ubudlelwano obunempilo bube nemigomo embalwa. Lokhu kufanele kubonakale ngokwethembeka, inhlonipho, inhloso, kanye nokuxhumana. Kusiza ekwakheni ubudlelwano obulinganiselayo obunemithwalo yemfanelo nenkululeko efanayo. Izinqumo zingenziwa ngaphandle kokwesaba njengoba sekuvele kuqinisekisiwe ukuthi nobabili nisebenzela imigomo efanayo yobudlelwano bothando.

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Izibonelo Eziyi-15 Zezinjongo Ezihlakaniphile Zobudlelwano Nendlela Yokuzibeka

Manje njengoba sesiwuqondile umqondo wemigomo yobudlelwane be-SMART, ake sibheke amagoli ayi-15 nokuthi singawabeka kanjani: 

1. Sithembisa ukuhlela ubusuku bosuku kanye ngesonto 

Lapho umgomo wenu uwukuchitha isikhathi ndawonye, ​​enye yezindlela ezilula zokwenza lokhu iwukuhlela. Bobabili ozakwethu kufanele bahloniphe le shejuli futhi bachithe isikhathi ndawonye kuphela hhayi endaweni yeqembu. 

Ungawubeka kanjani lo mgomo: 

• Nquma ukuvama okukusebenzela nobabili 
• Ungakhethi inombolo engelona iqiniso. Uma nobabili nisebenza amahora okuhlanya nezinsuku zeviki zingenakwenzeka, khona-ke ngisho nosuku olulodwa ngenyanga luwumgomo omuhle wokuqala. 
• Yiba ngamabomu ngesikhathi sakho. Awekho amafoni nesikhathi sesikrini esivunyelwe. Gxila ku ukuthuthukisa ukuxhumana nokusondelana 
• Inikeze idethi yokuphela. Isibonelo, "Sizoba nezinsuku ezimbili zamasonto onke njalo ngenyanga isikhathi esiyizinyanga eziyisithupha bese siphinde sivakashela lo mgomo futhi sihlole kabusha izimfuneko zethu."

2. Sithembisa ukuchitha isikhathi sihlukene 

Akunempilo ukuchitha yonke iminithi yokuvuka nomunye. Imibhangqwana eqaphela ukubaluleka 'kwesikhathi sami' futhi bayaqonda ukuthi ukuzimela kubalulekile ekuthuthukiseni ubudlelwano nokukhulisa impilo yabo ende. 

Ungawubeka kanjani lo mgomo:  

• Bhala inani lobusuku banyanga zonke ohlele ukubuchitha ngokuhlukene obubodwa 
• Qinisekisa ukuthi akukho cala noma ukucasuka mayelana nalesi sikhathi sokuvala
• Gcina idethi yokuphela engqondweni ukuze uhlole impumelelo yalo mgomo 

3. Siyathembisa ukuthi sizosikhokha isikweletu sethu

Izikweletu nezikweletu zingakwehlela, zibeke ingcindezi enkulu kunoma ibuphi ubuhlobo. Uma ukuzinza kwezezimali kuwumgomo wakho, qiniseka ukuthi ukubeka phambili ukukhokha izikweletu zakho kunezinye izindleko. 

Ungawubeka kanjani lo mgomo:

• Hlala phansi futhi ugxile kokwamanje izingcindezi zezimali kanye nesimo. Bala zonke izikweletu futhi wenze isu elingcono kakhulu lokukhokha 
• Thatha kancane kodwa wenze umzamo ulingane. Imigomo yakhe kanye neyakhe ibuyela emuva lapho inhloso efanayo kuyinkululeko yezezimali 
• Bhala izinketho ezishibhile ezikusiza ukuthi wonge imali, njengokwenza ikhofi ekhaya esikhundleni sokuhlala u-oda ngaphandle

4. Sithembisa ukonga imali ye-XXX 

Uma ukholwa ngokukhokha izikweletu zakho ngesikhathi futhi ungenaso isikweletu, enye yemigomo yakho yezezimali ingase ihlanganise ukusebenzisa imali ezintweni zamathikithi amakhulu. Ngokwesibonelo, imoto noma iholidi kanokusho. Ukonga ndawonye ukwenza lokhu kwenzeke kuyindlela emangalisayo yokuhlangana njengombhangqwana futhi nithole imivuzo yangempela ekupheleni kosuku. 

Ungawubeka kanjani lo mgomo: 

• Nquma umbono wakho omkhulu. Akudingekile ukusho, kufanele kufiswe ngokulinganayo yizo zombili izinhlangothi 
• Hlela ukuthi umuntu ngamunye uzonikela ngamalini nokuthi isikhathi esingakanani 
• Jabulela izithelo zomsebenzi wakho 

5. Sithembisa ukuthi sizosondelana ngokomzimba

Yebo, lokhu kungasho ucansi, kodwa kungasho nokugonana kwansuku zonke okuhlanganisa ukugonana okungokwentando , ukwanga, noma ngisho nokubambana ngezandla. Ukuthintana ngokomzimba kubalulekile ukuze noma yiluphi ubudlelwano bothando luchume futhi uma wena noma umlingani wakho ninomuzwa wokuthi lokhu akusho lutho, sekuyisikhathi sokulungisa isimo futhi nifake imigomo ethile yobulili engxubeni.

Ungawubeka kanjani lo mgomo:

• Bhalani izindlela eziqondile enizibophezela ngazo ukuthintana  
• Yenza lokhu kungaxoxiswana futhi kuhambisane nesikhathi
• Chitha ngisho naleyo mizuzu embalwa yokusondelana ngenhliziyo yonke

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6. Sithembisa ukuzijabulisa ndawonye 

Uma ufana nami nomyeni wami, uzoqonda ukuthi kunzima kangakanani ukuthola umsebenzi ovamile ojabulisa bobabili abalingani. Uthanda i-rock, ngithanda i-pop. Ufuna ukulala, ngiyakuthanda ukugijima kwami ​​kwasekuseni. Kodwa siyakuqonda ukubaluleka kokuthola isikhathi sokuzijabulisa sobabili esifuna ukukwenza ndawonye. Ukwenza isikhathi sokuzijabulisa kuwumgomo okuvumela ukuthi ube khona futhi ujabulele isikhathi ndawonye. 

Ungawubeka kanjani lo mgomo:

• Xoxa ngazo zonke izinketho. Cabanga ngaphandle kwebhokisi. Zama okuthile eningakwenzi nobabili ngaphambilini
• Zibophezele emkhawulweni othize wesikhathi futhi unamathele kuwo 
• Faka nelungu lomndeni noma abangani futhi. Cabanga izinto ezimnandi ongazenza nomlingani wakho njengemidlalo yokuncintisana noma imidlalo yebhodi

7. Sithembisa ukuzivocavoca ndawonye

Lona umgomo ozokusiza ukuthi nisondelane futhi nithuthukise impilo yenu engokomzimba neyengqondo. Umuntu ngeke ajwayele ukuhlobanisa ukusebenza nobudlelwano nezinhloso zomshado. Kodwa-ke, ukuzivocavoca kungathuthukisa impilo yakho yocansi, ngakho-ke yini ongayithandi? 

Ungawubeka kanjani lo mgomo: 

• Hlola amazinga akho okufaneleka ngokuhlanganyela bese ukhetha umsebenzi noma emibili ejatshulelwa nobabili 
• Zinike umgomo - ukugijima u-10k, uphakamise umhlabeleli womuntu siqu ejimini, futhi ujoyine iqembu lezemidlalo 
• Zinike isikhathi sokufunda nokwenza ngcono endleleni, uqinisekise ukuthi lo mgomo awuqali ukuzizwa sengathi wonke umsebenzi futhi akukho ukudlala. 

8. Sithembisa ukuxhumana ngokwethembeka nangokukhululekile 

Uma sikhuluma ngokuxhumana okuphumelelayo, sibhekisela ekubeni izilaleli ezinhle , ukukhuluma, nokuxoxa ngokukhululekile ngezidingo nemizwa yomunye nomunye. Uma omunye umlingani engafuni ukuveza imizwa yakhe noma engabonisi kangako izidingo zakhe, umgomo OMHLABA wokwakha ukwethembana nokuxhumana ngempumelelo ubalulekile.

Ungawubeka kanjani lo mgomo: 

• Qonda indlela yomunye nomunye yokuxhumana 
• Finyelelani endaweni eninethezeke ngayo nobabili 
• Beka eceleni isikhathi sansuku zonke noma samasonto onke ukuze uthinte isisekelo nomunye futhi uxhume

9. Siyathembisana ukuthethelelana 

Sonke singabantu. Amaphutha ayenzeka, futhi wonke umuntu uyaphambuka. Shiya imibono yakho yokuphelela bese ugcizelela isidingo sozwelo nokuthethelela ebudlelwaneni esikhundleni salokho. Manje, lokhu akusho ukuthi uxhashazwe noma wenze sengathi izinkinga azikho. Kunalokho, yeka ukucasuka nezinkinga ezincane bese usebenza ukuze uzuze intethelelo yangempela.

Ungawubeka kanjani lo mgomo:

• Qonda amaphutha emvelo yomuntu nokuthi akekho kini ophelele
• Thembeka ngalokho okungahambanga kahle kanye nengxenye yomuntu ngamunye kukho 
• Sebenzela ikhambi bobabili abazozuza kulo 
• Yenza isifungo sokusebenzela ukuthethelela ngomqondo ovulekile nenhliziyo

10. Sithembisa ukubonga 

Ukubonga omunye nomunye nangempilo yansuku zonke eniyidalile kuyindlela elula nesebenzayo yokugcina inhlansi iqhubeka ebudlelwaneni benu. Zama futhi ugxilise umuzwa wokubonga ekuphileni kwakho kwansuku zonke futhi ubone ukuthi ishintsha kanjani nobabili. 

Ungawubeka kanjani lo mgomo:

• Yenza isithembiso sokubhala phansi lokho okubonga ngakho. Tshela umlingani wakho ukuthi yini oyithandayo ngaye. Bhala phansi amaphuzu amancane okubonga. Yenza lokhu kube umkhuba kanye nenye yezinhloso zakho ze-SMART zobudlelwano obunempilo
• Lokhu kusebenza kangcono uma kwenziwa nsuku zonke. Ungabelana ngejenali noma udale imbiza yokubonga
• Vakashela kabusha uhlu lwakho lokubonga njalo

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11. Sithembisa ukwenza amasiko nemikhuba emisha 

Uma nenza isithembiso sokwenza into eyodwa enhle nomunye nomunye nyanga zonke, cabanga nje ukuthi ukuphila nobuhlobo benu buyokwanelisa kangakanani. Imikhuba emihle njengokuhamba ndawonye kwansuku zonke, amashawa asekuseni ndawonye ngempelasonto, kanye nesidlo sasekuseni embhedeni ngamaholide konke kufeza injongo eyodwa - ukunamathisela i-spin entsha emsebenzini ovamile. Eyodwa nobabili eniyilangazelelayo futhi niyijabulele, ngaleyo ndlela nikhulisa ubuhlobo benu. 

Ungawubeka kanjani lo mgomo: 

• Nqumani ngomsebenzi owodwa noma emibili enizoyijabulela nobabili futhi niyihlele 
• Qiniseka ukuthi unamathela kuhlelo lwakho lwezikhathi
• Nishintshane ngokutotosana

12. Sithembisana ukufunda (futhi sizijwayeze) ulimi lothando lomunye nomunye 

Zombili izinhlangothi zithembisa ukuthola nokuhlola ulimi lothando lomunye nomunye futhi zizame ukuhlanganisa lokhu emazwini nasezenzweni zazo. 

Ungawubeka kanjani lo mgomo:

• Funda futhi uhlole izilimi ezihlukahlukene zothando. Kunamaphepha okusebenzela amaningi ku-5 thanda izilimi iyatholakala ku-intanethi 
• Zinike isikhathi sokuthola ukuthi ngamunye wenu uncamelani 
• Zibophezele ekufundeni nasekuhlanganiseni ulimi lothando lozakwethu okhethiwe ezinhlelweni zakho zansuku zonke 
• Yiba nohlu lwezinto okufanele uzenze ezingaphawulwa. Lokhu kunikeza wonke umsebenzi ikhwalithi ebonakalayo 

13. Sithembisa ukuxazulula noma yikuphi ukungqubuzana ngempumelelo 

Zinike inyanga wenze isithembiso sokubhekana nanoma yikuphi ukungqubuzana okuvela ngempumelelo. Ngalokhu, siqonde ukukhuluma ngezinto ngaphandle kokwahlulela, silalele umbono womunye umuntu, futhi sibeke eceleni noma yiziphi izindaba ezindala, intukuthelo, namagqubu. 

Ungawubeka kanjani lo mgomo:

• Ngokuzinika isikhathi sokufinyelela esiphethweni esizuzisa ngokufanayo, uvimbela ngempumelelo noma yikuphi ukwanda kokungqubuzana futhi ubeka omunye wemigomo ye-SMART engcono kakhulu yokwakha ubudlelwano.
• Lapho izinhlangothi zombili zizibophezela ekuxazululeni izinkinga ngendlela evuthiwe, engenamizwa, izixazululo zitholakala kalula futhi zinamathele kuzo.

14. Sithembisa ukushintsha - ndawonye 

Uma ushintsho luba yinto okufanele uyibheke phambili futhi usebenzele kuyo, lulahlekelwa amandla alo okusesabisa. Uma ukushintsha ndawonye kuyinjongo yakho, kuzokuhlomisa ukuthi ubhekane nanoma yini ekuphikelelayo empilweni futhi kwenze ubuhlobo bakho buqine.

Ungawubeka kanjani lo mgomo: 

• Vuma ukuthi ushintsho alunakugwenywa futhi uhlele noma yikuphi okwenzekayo 
• Chaza izindima zomuntu ngamunye kanye nokuziphatha okulindelekile 
• Cabanga ngezimo ezihlukahlukene futhi uthole izixazululo

15. Siyathembisana ukweseka amaphupho nezinjongo zomunye nomunye ngekusasa 

Izibonelo zemigomo yobudlelwano zingabandakanya bobabili abalingani kanye nabantu ngabanye. Kodwa ukwesekwa kudinga njalo ukuba sezinhlangothini zombili. Isibonelo, uma umgomo wakho uwukwehlisa amakhilogremu ayi-10 kulo nyaka futhi umlingani wakho ukuthola ukukhushulwa emsebenzini, kubalulekile ukuthi nobabili nicabangele zonke izisekelo zokusekelana futhi niqale ukusekelana.

Ungawubeka kanjani lo mgomo: 

• Bhala zonke izinjongo zakho - kokubili komuntu siqu kanye nombhangqwana
• Nquma izindlela zokuzifeza
• Xoxani ngalokho enikulindele komunye nomunye
• Vumelanani ngamasu okuxazulula izingxabano 
• Nikelane indawo yokukhulisana

Ekupheleni kosuku, le ndlela yokubeka umgomo iyindlela elula yokumaka inqubekelaphambili kunoma ibuphi ubuhlobo. Imigomo isinika ukwakheka futhi isize ukusibona ezikhathini zokukhuthazeka okuphansi noma ukuntengantenga ngaphandle kokuqondiswa. Uma izinhlangothi zombili zizibophezela ukusebenzela umgomo owodwa, ubudlelwano bunethuba eliphezulu lokuphumelela. Kuyohlala kunokwehla nokwenyuka, kodwa ngohlu lwemigomo ye-SMART yobudlelwano ukuze likuqondise, amathuba okuthuthukisa ubuhlobo obunempilo nemingcele nokuhloniphana makhulu. 

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Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.