Izinjongo Zobudlelwano Kimi No-Bae Lapho Sihlanganisa Iminyaka Engama-80

U-Bae angasho isoka noma intombi noma umlingani wempilo yakhe kodwa uma kufanele sandise isifinyezo kusho ukuthi u-bae usho ukuthi "ngaphambi kwanoma ubani omunye". U-bae wakho uyena owabelana naye ngobudlelwano futhi imigomo yobudlelwano baka-bae ingaba khona usemncane, useminyakeni ephakathi noma usumdala. Kodwa kukhona okuthile okubizwa ngemigomo yobudlelwane bezithandani ezindala okungase kusetshenzwe kukho ukuze uhlale ujabule, unempilo futhi ugcwalisekile ngisho nalapho usuneminyaka engu-80.

Ngaphambi kokuthi singene ezinhlosweni zobudlelwano bezithandani ezindala singamane sime kulokho esikusho ngenjongo yokuphila, ngenhlanhla isihloko esichazwa kangcono imibhangqwana endala ephile mhlawumbe iminyaka engaphezu kwengu-50 yokubambisana. Awu! ucabanga ukuthi iyini injongo yokuphila? Ingabe impumelelo? Iqiniso? Ukuthula? Abaningi baye bathi injongo eyinhloko yokuphila ukuphishekela injabulo. Futhi iyini injabulo uma ingahlanganyelwa nothandekayo? Iyini impumelelo uma ungakwazi ukufonela u-bae wakho umtshele ukuthi uwutholile umsebenzi owawufisa?

Luyini udumo uma wonke umuntu ekubona kodwa kungekho okubona ngokweqiniso? Empilweni, sibheka izinto eziningi. Sifuna imisebenzi, izimoto, ukudla okuhle nemizi. Kodwa konke lokhu kuyasilela ekusiletheleni injabulo yeqiniso lapho singenaye umuntu esingahlanganyela naye. Mhlawumbe lokho kuwumgomo wokuba khona komuntu. Yilokho esikushoyo ngempela ngamagoli obudlelwano be-bae. Ukuze ukwazi ukwabelana, kungaba ubuhlungu, ukucasuka noma injabulo. Yonke into iba ngokoqobo futhi ibe nenjongo ngokwengeziwe uma yabelwa. Futhi uma ungakwazi ukwabelana ngayo ekugugeni akukho okufana nakho. 

Imigomo Eyi-10 Yobudlelwane Nezithandani Ongazilandela

Ngakho-ke, kunjani ngempela ukuthola lowo mngane oyedwa bese wabelana naye impilo yakho yonke? Bazokutshela izinguquko zothando ngokuhamba kweminyaka. Inkanuko iyaphela. Ukubekezela kuyahlala. Futhi sizibuza ukuthi, sihlezi esihlalweni esingaphansi kwengalo njengomuntu oneminyaka engamashumi ayisishiyagalombili ubudala, sizozizwa kanjani ngomuntu onamagqubu kodwa omomothekayo ohlezi eceleni kwethu. Yini ngempela esiyifuna ebuhlotsheni bethu kuleyo minyaka? Ngazibuza lokho kanye futhi nakhu engaqaphela ukuthi ngiyakufuna. Lokhu kuzoba yimigomo yobudlelwano bami nomngani wami lapho ngiba neminyaka engu-80.

1. Hlekani amahlaya

Akunandaba ukuthi amahlaya abo awazange athuthuke eminyakeni edlule. Usabathola behlekisa futhi bayakwazisa ukukwazi ukukuhlekisa ngisho nangemva kwaleyo minyaka yonke.

Manje ingaphakathi lakho liba buhlungu kakhulu uma ungena e-peals njengoba u-bae wakho eletha imigqa ye-punch ngobuso obuqondile. Kodwa lezo zinyembezi ezifikayo ngempela izinyembezi zenjabulo. 

2. Zazisa futhi wamukele izinguquko

Izinwele zabo kungenzeka ukuthi sezimpunga futhi babukeka bekhathele futhi begugile kunangesikhathi nihlangana. Kodwa yonke leyo mibimbi onayo manje, usuyiqoqele ndawonye. Ubuhle bungumqondo odlulayo kodwa uthando lweqiniso luhlala njalo.

U-bae wakho ubengase abe nesineke ngokudla abakudlayo, isihlalo esisekhoneni ngasefasiteleni kufanele siphume lapho esendlini futhi ngeke akwazi ukuphila ngaphandle kwamazinyo okufakelwa. Kodwa uyalazisa iqiniso lokuthi bakwenzela itiye lombhede ngemva kokuthatha umhlalaphansi futhi bakutotosa ngokwenza isaladi kanye ngesikhathi. Qagela ukuthi imayelana nani imigomo yobudlelwano bezithandani ezindala. 

3. Yazisa inkampani yomunye nomunye nendawo

Njengoba nichitha iminyaka nindawonye, ​​izinto ezifana nempahla kanye nemibono yobumfihlo ziyaphithana. Kodwa noma usukhulile wazi ukuthi kufanele weqe umngcele futhi unikane isikhala, ninobudlelwano obuhle ngempela.

Ubungahlanganisa iminyaka engu-80 manje kodwa awukacabangi ukuthi ungangena ezicingweni zomlingani wakho, ubheke imibhalo yakhe noma uphatheke kabi uma benecebo nabazala ngoba kuzomele udle isidlo sasemini uwedwa.

Kodwa uma ubuka lelo chungechunge noma uchungechunge ku-TV awukwazi ukucabanga ukwenza ngaphandle kokuthi u-bae wakho ehlezi eduze kwakho esofeni. 

4. Yenza izinqumo ngokungacabangi

Ukuguga akukwenzi lutho ukukwehlisela phansi. Nisajabulela ukuba ndawonye futhi nithatha izinqumo ezimbi ndawonye. Nakuleyo minyaka, usenaye ubugebengu kubo.

Ngakho-ke ungase ufike kwelinye izwe ukuze uthole iholidi futhi umangaze izingane zakho ezindala ngocingo futhi nobabili ningagcina nithenga lelo friji elihlekisayo ngoba ubulifuna njalo futhi akunandaba ukuthi kuzoba nobabili manje. Ungase futhi ugcine ususebenzisa ama-lakhs kuleyompesheni ukuze uthole u-bae wakho umgexo wedayimane ogubhe iminyaka engu-55 wasungulwa. Ukuba namawala kusho ukugcina i-zing iphila ngisho noma seniyizithandani ezindala.   

5. Ukubhebhana okwezingane ezihlanyayo

Ninikezana isikhala nenhlonipho kodwa nibuye nigcone sengathi niyizingane. Ulokhu wenza amahlaya ngezindleko zabo futhi balokhu bejikijela amapuleti agcwele amakhekhe ebusweni bakho obuhlabayo.

Ukuba nomuzwa wokuhlekisa uphila futhi ukwazi ukudonsa imilenze yomunye kuyindlela enhle yokufeza imigomo yombhangqwana omdala. 

6. Yakhani izindaba ngomunye nomunye

Mhlawumbe uzitshele izingane zakho nabazukulu. Noma abangani bakho abangazi ukuthi uqamba amanga. Njengoba izindaba zihlekisa futhi zakholakala, yilapho uzoba mnandi kakhulu ukuzixoxela.

Ukuxoxa izindaba kuyinto eniyijabulelayo nobabili futhi kuyamangaza ukuthi ningazihlanganisa kanjani izinganekwane futhi nikwethule ndawonye njengabaxoxi bezindaba abangochwepheshe ngaphandle kokucwayiza ijwabu leso. Qagela ukuthi inhloso ephelele yobudlelwano ne-bae imayelana nani. 

7. Dlulisanani imigilingwane

Komunye nomunye nakubangane bakho nezingane. Fihlani induku noma amazinyo mbumbulu. Mema izingane zakho esidlweni sakusihlwa bese wena uhambe uyodla isidlo sakusihlwa endaweni yokudlela ewubukhazikhazi noma okuthile.

Amathuba awapheli. Iphuzu liwukuthi singakhohlwa ukuzijabulisa nomunye futhi ngezindleko zomunye nomunye.

8. Yilwa ngamandla bese uziphatha akwenzekanga lutho

Ukukwazi ukulwa njengamakati ahlanyayo bese nibuyelana ekupheleni kosuku kuyisibusiso impela. Ngoba noma usabathukuthelele kodwa usathanda kakhulu ukuqhela kubo.

Imigomo yobudlelwano bemibhangqwana yakudala imayelana nokuveza uthando ngempi yamazwi. Yilokho okwenza kube okukhethekile kangaka. Imibhangqwana yakudala iphelelisa ubuciko bempi kahle kangangokuthi ingakhohlwa ngokushesha lokho ebilwa ngakho. Lowo ngokuqinisekile umgomo wobudlelwano bezithandani.

9. Hloniphanani

Ebudlelwaneni bakho beminyaka emihlanu noma eyisithupha ubudala ubabone belahlekelwa amazinyo abo mbumbulu izikhathi ezingaphezu kwesisodwa futhi benze imisindo engamhloniphi uNkulunkulu ngenkathi besendlini yokugezela. Ubabonile benza iphutha le-mustard nge-ketchup.

Uke ubabone benza isiphukuphuku samaphutha. Kodwa niyahloniphana naphezu kweminyaka eminingi yobuwula futhi lokho ngempela uthando lweqiniso.

10. Zizwe kahle ukuvuka eduze kwabo 

Uyakujabulela ukubona ubuso bazo njalo ekuseni lapho uvuka, ngisho noma belele bengenamazinyo bese beconsela emcamelweni wabo. Ubuhle buyashintsha njalo futhi nencazelo yakho ngabo isishintshile njengoba isithandwa sakho senzile. Futhi njengoba isikhathi sihamba, uyakwazisa ukuba nazo ekuphileni kwakho ngokwengeziwe.

Namuhla, sekunzima kakhulu ukuthola umuntu ongathandana naye isikhathi esingaphezu kwezinyanga ezimbalwa. Ngakho-ke uma ube nenhlanhla ngempela yokuthola umuntu ofuna ukuchitha impilo yakho naye, ngithemba ukuthi uzowazisa wonke umzuzu eniwuchitha ninomunye, ngisho noma usuneminyaka engu-80 futhi ubunile. Ukuphila kufushane kakhulu ukuba ungaphila ngaphandle kothando. Mhlawumbe lelo iqiniso elilodwa nesidingo sokuba khona komuntu. Ukuthanda nokuthandwa njengoba sishabalala. Yileyo nto eyodwa ehlala phakade.

Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.