I-15 Core Values ​​Ebudlelwaneni Be-Bond Ejabulisayo Nehlala Njalo

Sonke siyabazisa ubudlelwano obunempilo kodwa sivame ukunganaki izimiso ezibalulekile ebudlelwaneni obuthuthukisa ukungatheleleki kwabo nokuphila isikhathi eside. Sonke singavuma ukuthi ubudlelwano obunempilo buyisici esibalulekile sokuphila okujabulisayo, akunjalo? Nokho, le ndaba ibhekene nokuqagela okuningi kunemakethe yamasheya ngokwayo. Kunomelaphi wobudlelwano ohlala kuwo wonke umuntu esimaziyo, futhi okuhlekisayo, abangcono kakhulu bavame ukungashadile.

Yiziphi izimiso ezibalulekile ebudlelwaneni ezigcina isikebhe sezothando siqhubeka? Ingabe lukhona uhlaka oluqondile oluqinisekisa iseyili engenamthungo? Kungani lungekho uhlelo lwezifundo olungasihlomisela ukuba sithole izimpendulo ezifanele ekuphishekeleni okubaluleke kangaka kwezimpilo zethu? Uma nawe uzibuza imibuzo enjalo, awuwedwa. Ake sembule lokhu kubambeka futhi sikudlulisele kumagugu angu-12 abalulekile ebudlelwaneni obungasebenza njengekhampasi futhi bukuzuzise emanzini anzima kakhulu.

Yiziphi Izindinganiso Eziyinhloko?

Izindinganiso zethu yizo ezinquma izindlela zethu empilweni. Futhi kunzima kakhulu ukuthola umlingani othandana naye onezinkolelo nezindinganiso eziyisisekelo ezifana nezethu. Eqinisweni, abantu nakanjani banemibono ehlukene. Kodwa-ke, kunezindinganiso ezithile zobudlelwano eziyisisekelo eziqinisekisa umshado noma ubudlelwano obujabulisayo nobuphumelelayo. Izindinganiso eziyisisekelo yizinkolelo nezindinganiso eziyisisekelo esizikholelwayo. Zisenza sibe yilokho esiyikho futhi zakha ubuwena bethu, ubuntu bethu, kanye nekhampasi yethu yokuziphatha.

Izindinganiso eziyinhloko zomuntu zinganquma nezinqumo ezihlukahlukene zokuphila nalokho akuthandayo, njengokuthi uyafisa yini ukushada noma ukuba nezingane, lokho akubona kukhanga, yini emcasulayo, nokuthi iyiphi indlela yomsebenzi acabanga ukuthi imfanele. Futhi uma sinomlingani othandana naye ozimiso zakhe eziyinhloko zingahambelani nezethu, kungase kube khona ukungezwani ebudlelwaneni.

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Ukubaluleka Kwezindinganiso Zobudlelwano

Ngaphambi kokuthi sehlele ekuzulazuleni kwangempela, ake sithole ukuqonda okuphelele kokuthi kungani izindinganiso zobudlelwano zibaluleke kangaka. Wake waxabana nomlingani wakho futhi wazibuza, "Kungani ukulwa kubaluleke kakhulu kunobudlelwane?" Yiqiniso, unayo!

Manje, uma umba ujule ngokubheka emuva, uzobona ukuthi kwakungenxa yokungqubuzana kwamanani. Izimpawu zingashintsha, kodwa ukugula kungenzeka kube umehluko ezimisweni zokuziphatha noma zokuphila. Ngakho-ke, ake sibheke ukuthi kungani izindinganiso zobudlelwano ezivamile zibalulekile:

• Basiza imibhangqwana ukwenza izinqumo ezisheshayo. Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi asikho isikhathi esichithwayo ezingxabanweni ezingasho lutho mayelana nokuthi uhlale kuphi, yiziphi izindlela zomsebenzi okufanele zilandelwe, njll
• Basiza imibhangqwana ukuba ixazulule izingxabano ebudlelwaneni ngokushesha, njengoba ekugcineni kungenzeka bathembele kumagugu abo okwabelwana ngawo ukuze banqume ngesixazululo esifanayo sezinkinga
• Ukukhula kobudlelwano kulula futhi kuyashesha, njengoba bobabili banombono walokho abakufunayo njengombhangqwana ngokuhamba kwesikhathi
• Kokubili ukukhangwa nokwaneliseka kobudlelwane kuyanda uma imibhangqwana yabelane ngezindinganiso zobudlelwano, futhi ucwaningo luye lwakufakazela lokhu.
• Banikela ekuqondaneni kobudlelwane bubonke - indikimba yokwehliswa nokuzibophezela okubopha imibhangqwana ngemva kokuphela kwesigaba se-honeymoon

Kuyathakazelisa ukuthi singakwazi ukuqhamuka nezinguqulo eziningi zamanani okufanele sizibheke ebuhlotsheni. Ngokunjalo, ukuthi yini okufanele ibaluleke ebudlelwaneni nayo incike ekukhetheni kombhangqwana. Kodwa kunezimiso ezivamile ezivame ukusiza imibhangqwana ukuba inqobe izithiyo zobudlelwane. Ngakho-ke, yiziphi izindinganiso eziphezulu okufanele uzibheke ebuhlotsheni? Hhayi-ke, sibhale phansi izinto ezibalulekile eziyi-15 ebudlelwaneni ezibaluleke kakhulu kusibopho esinempilo nesihlala njalo. Esigabeni esilandelayo, sizobheka ukuthi zibandakanyani.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Amathiphu ayi-15 Okugcina Ubudlelwano Buqinile Futhi Bunempilo

15 Izindinganiso Ezibalulekile Zobudlelwano Wonke Umbhangqwana Okumelwe Ube Nazo

Bonke ubudlelwano buwumkhiqizo wothando. Njengoba lokhu kuzwakala njengenkondlo, uthando alukwazi ukuchazwa, akunjalo? Ungase uzame ukukala ukubaluleka kothando ngamalensi ahlukene. Wonke umuntu ubona ngendlela ehlukile. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, izindinganiso eziwumgogodla wobudlelwano zibambekayo futhi ziyabonakala, yingakho zidlala indima ebalulekile ekuqinisekiseni impumelelo yazo.

Kulesi sihloko, sizobheka kahle izimiso ezibalulekile ezinjalo ezidingekayo ukuze kugcinwe inhlansi yothando iphila ebuhlotsheni. Gcina iso ekuncikeneni kwalezi zimiso eziqondisayo nezindinganiso. Manje uma nonke senigibele, masishaye umkhumbi sihambe futhi sibheke ezinye zezimiso eziyisisekelo kakhulu ebudlelwaneni:

1. Ukuheha

Ukukhanga kungenye yezindinganiso ezibaluleke kakhulu ebudlelwaneni. Inhlansi yokuxhumana kwamehlo okuhlala isikhathi eside, imizwa yokuqomisana kokuqala , ukubanda kokuthinta, ukunambitheka kwalowo manga wokuqala — Ukudonswa okuzwayo kulowo muntu oyedwa, futhi naye uyakuzwa. Ingabe lokhu akuyona enye yemizwa emihle kakhulu? Kwenzekani kule mizwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi? Iyaphela. Sibanjwa yisimo sengqondo esingapheli empilweni.

Injabulo nothando yikona okuyimbangela yawo wonke ubudlelwano. Kudingeka zinandiswe, zilondolozwe, futhi ziqanjwe kabusha ukuze zigcine amafutha othando evutha. Ukuheha okuzinzile kunamandla phakathi kwawo wonke amanani obudlelwano.

UJack Canfield, umbhali kanye nomsunguli wochungechunge lwe- Chicken Soup for the Soul , wake wakhuluma ngesiko laminyaka yonke alenza nomkakhe. Njalo ngonyaka, nge-Thanksgiving, bobabili babala izinto eziyi-10 abazithandayo ngomunye nomunye. Uthando olwanele 'lokusha', kodwa olusebenza ngokwanele ukusenza simangale.

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2. Ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo nangokwengqondo

Ukuxhumana kuvame ukuhunyushwa ngezinga lomzimba nje. Noma ubudlelwano obuningi buqala lapho, ukuxhumana kwangempela kwenzeka ezingeni elijulile lemizwa nelobuhlakani. Cabanga ngabo bonke ubudlelwano obuphusile onabo. Kuyo ngayinye yazo, okunamathelayo kuwumzwelo noma inqubo yokucabanga. Uma sibheka futhi sikwazisa lokhu kuxhumana, yonke enye into ibonakala ingasebenzi. Ngakho-ke, ukulondoloza ukuxhumana okungokomzwelo nokuhlakanipha kungenye yezimiso ezibalulekile ebudlelwaneni.

I-3. Ithemba

Ukwethembana kubaluleke kakhulu ezimpilweni zabantu futhi kungenye yamandla amakhulu ebudlelwaneni. Leli futhi ngelinye lamagama asetshenziswa ngokunganaki esichazamazwini sothando kulezi zinsuku. "Ngethembe!" eduze nje kokuthi “Ngiyaxolisa!” uma kukhulunywa ngemisho elahlekelwe umthelela ngenxa yokusebenzisa ngokweqile. Esihlulekayo ukukubona ukuthi sonke siletha imithwalo emidala ekhathazayo evela esidlule ebudlelwaneni bethu. Lo mthwalo uchaza umbono wethu mayelana namagugu obudlelwane, okungenza kube nzima ngathi ukukhuthaza ukwethembana ngisho nasebudlelwaneni bethu obuseduze kakhulu.

Yingakho ukwakha ukwethembana kungenye yezindinganiso ezibaluleke kakhulu ebudlelwaneni kulezi zinsuku. Ngakho-ke, usebudlelwaneni obusha futhi ufuna umuntu ozohamba naye isikhashana kodwa awuboni umshado usenzeka maduze? Noma ufisa ukugwema ukukhulisa izingane futhi ugxile kakhulu ezinqumweni zezimali ebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside? Ungaqambi amanga noma uzibophezele ngokweqile.

Kunalokho, ungakha ukwethembana ngokuthi:

• Ukuba neqiniso ngezinhloso zakho kanye nezinjongo zempilo
• Ukudlulisa ukukhathazeka kwethu mayelana nokuthi ubudlelwano buntula kuphi
• Hhayi ukuthembisa ngokweqile futhi unamathele emandleni akho esikhundleni salokho
• Ukuba sekhasini elifanayo mayelana nokulindelwe

4. Ukusondelana

Enye yezinto ezibalulekile okufanele uzibheke ebudlelwaneni ukusondelana. Kodwa njengokukhanga, ukusondelana nakho ngokuvamile kuye kwaqondwa kabi. Ukusondelana ngokomzimba kumane kuyisihloko se-iceberg. Kungenzeka ukuthi ulala nomuntu kodwa uzizwe ungahlangene nhlobo naye. Ukusondelana kuwukuba sengozini kodwa nokho kuphephe. Ukusondelana kweqiniso wukukwazi ukuqinisekisa umlingani wakho lapho bephuka. Kuyisimo lapho ulahla khona bonke onogada bakho futhi uvumelane ngempela ukubonana njengoba unjalo.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene : Ukuntuleka Kothando Nokusondelana Ebudlelwaneni — Izindlela Eziyi-9 Okukuthinta Ngazo

5. Ukwethembeka

Sivame ukuzwa ngokubaluleka kokwethembeka nokungafihli lutho ebudlelwaneni . Ukwethembeka kuxazulula izinkinga ngokushesha futhi kusiza abalingani ukuthi bahlole ukuthi izintshisekelo zabo nemigomo yabo kuyahambisana yini. Kodwa uletha kanjani leli nani ebudlelwaneni? Nansi indlela:

● Thembeka hhayi nje ngezinto ezinhle onazo kodwa nangamaphuzu akho
● Ungafihli isikhathi sakho esidlule, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi besikubi kangakanani. Kukhiphe konke, ubone ukuthi umlingani wakho uyakuqakathekisa yini ukukhula kwakho
● Thembeka ngezinto eziyisisekelo ezifana nokulindelwe ngokwezimali ebudlelwaneni, izifiso zomzimba, ukungezwani kwezenkolo, nezindaba zezokwelapha, uma zikhona.
● Thembeka ngokuziphatha kwakho. Phela, ukuziphatha okuhlukene ebudlelwaneni kungabhidliza ubuhlobo ngokushesha kunanoma yini
● Thembeka ngalokho amalungu omndeni wakho akulindele kumlingani wakho
● Ungasoli noma ungajabhisi umlingani wakho uma ebethembekile kuwe ngaye, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi iqiniso lingathandeki kangakanani.

I-6. Ukwamukelwa

Ukwamukela kungenye yezindinganiso ezivame kakhulu ebudlelwaneni. Engake ngasondela kakhulu ekuchazeni uthando yilapho ngiluhlanganisa nokwamukelwa. Sonke siyindalo engaphelele ngokuphelele, ngayinye inamaphutha ethu amahle ayingqayizivele. Ukukholelwa kwethu ebukhoneni kuyabonakala lapho othile esamukela futhi esithanda ngalawo maphutha. Sonke siyakulangazelela ukwamukelwa nokwaziswa. Ngokunjalo, uma sithi siyamthanda umuntu futhi simgxeka ngenxa yamaphutha akhe, asikamamukeli ngokuphelele. Ngakho, ngeke kube uthando.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene : Ubuhlakani Bemizwa Ebudlelwaneni: Yenza Uthando Luhlale Phakade

7. Intethelelo

Izingxabano ziyingxenye yomdlalo. Uma ubhalisela ubambiswano lothando, lezi zingena njengengxenye yephakheji. Kodwa ingqondo ivamise ukuthatha indawo engemuva njengoba abantu abanenkani bengena enkundleni. Ezimweni ezinjalo, ukuthethelela, okungenye yezindinganiso ezibaluleke kakhulu ebuhlotsheni, kuba yisikhali sokulwa nobugovu.

Eqinisweni, uma uthatha isinyathelo esiqhubekayo sokwamukela, kuguquka kube ukuthethelela. Kungenye yezinto ezibalulekile ezinomthelela ekwelapheni ubudlelwano futhi ekugcineni kwabantu. Ngakho-ke, ukukhuthaza ukuthethelela kubalulekile uma umuntu ebheke phambili ekuxhumaneni kwesikhathi eside. Noma kunjalo, kunezinto ezimbalwa okungafanele zithethelelwe. Kunjalo:

● Ubudlova obungokomzimba
● Ukukhohlisa
● Stonewalling, noma ukwelashwa buthule
● Ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo

8. Ukuhlonipha ubuntu

Umqondo wokuba sothandweni uvame ukuhlotshaniswa nokuzilahlekela ebudlelwaneni nokujula uze ube munye nesithandwa sakho. Kodwa lo mbono, oqhubeka uthandeka ngezinkondlo nezingoma, uyindaba yakudala ye-codependency.

Kufanele siqaphele ukuthi kunabantu ababili abahlukene ababambe iqhaza kulobu budlelwano. Bobabili banobunikazi babo obuhlukene, izindlela, kanye namagugu empilweni. Futhi ukuhlonipha inhlalakahle yomlingani ngamunye kubaluleke ngokufanayo. Ngakho-ke, amanani okwabelwana ngawo nokuhloniphana kuyizimfanelo ezivamile zokuxhumana okunempilo nokuqinile. Eqinisweni, inhlonipho ikhulisa ukubaluleka kothando futhi kunjalo
enye yezinto ezibaluleke kakhulu okufanele zibaluleke ebudlelwaneni.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene : Izibonelo Eziyi-9 Zokuhloniphana Ebudlelwaneni

9. Ukukhula

Ebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside, kubalulekile ukuthi abantu ababili abathandanayo bagcine ithimba elithile. Uma sikhuluma ngeqembu, asisho ukuntula intshisekelo. Abantu ababili abeseka ukukhula komunye nomunye ngenkathi bethatha isibopho esiphelele sokukhula kwabo siqu, bakwenye yezindlela zobudlelwano obunempilo kakhulu.

Ukukhula kweqiniso kungenye yezindinganiso ezibaluleke kakhulu ebudlelwaneni. Futhi umuntu angakhula ebudlelwaneni ngokuthi:

● Ukugqugquzela umlingani wakho ukuba afinyelele imigomo yakhe kuyilapho wena ufinyelela eyakho
● Ukuhlola izinto ezingokoqobo mayelana nokuthi ukuzidela kohlangothi olulodwa akunakuba nagalelo kanjani ebudlelwaneni
● Ukusebenzela into enivumelana ngayo, ngaphandle kokuphazamisa inhlalakahle yomlingani wakho

10. Ukuzibophezela

Ukusho lokho okushoyo, ukwenza lokho okushoyo, kanye nokuthatha umthwalo wemfanelo wezenzo zakho kuyindlela yobuhlobo besikhathi eside obuphumelelayo kakhulu . Umthwalo wemfanelo ebudlelwaneni ungafana kakhulu nalokhu:

● Ukwenza indima olindeleke ukuba uyidlale ebudlelwaneni, njengokuba ngumondli noma ukwenza imisebenzi yasekhaya.
● Ukuphatha amaphutha akho kanye nokuziphendulela ngezenzo zakho
● Ukugcina ubuhlobo bokuziphatha okuvunyelenwe ngabo bobabili abalingani, njengokungathumeleli abanye abantu besifazane imiyalezo, ukungadlali ngothando namanye amadoda, njll.

11. Ukuba ama-BFF

Cabanga ngenjabulo yokuba nomlingani ongahlanya naye ngokuphelele, nixoxe nganoma yini amahora amaningi, nizijabulise ngemisebenzi ejabulisayo ndawonye, ​​futhi nibe nobuhlobo obuseduze. Akuyona yini le iphakheji yenjabulo ejabulisa kakhulu? Futhi yilokho okutholayo uma uba abangane abakhulu nomlingani wakho. Eqinisweni, uma ubulokhu uzibuza ukuthi yini ebhekwa njengobudlelwano obunempilo, isibopho esakhelwe esisekelweni sobungane siyincazelo enembile yaso. Izisekelo eziyinhloko zobudlelwano ziyaqina futhi ziqine kakhulu uma zisekelwe esibophweni esijulile sobungane.

12. Ukuyekethisa

Ukulungisa kanye nokuyekethisa nozakwenu ukuze ukhule ebudlelwaneni kuyinani elikhulu eliwumongo. Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi naphezu kokuba imibhangqwana inezindinganiso ezifanayo, kungase kube nokungezwani okuncane, njengoba bengekho abantu ababili abafana.

Ngakho-ke, lapho ukuyekethisa komunye nomunye kuba ukubaluleka kobudlelwane obuyisisekelo, umbhangqwana awusokoli ukuthola indawo ephakathi lapho kunokungaboni ngaso linye. Ukuyekethisa okunjalo kungasebenza ezimeni ezincane, njengokukhetha indawo yokuhamba, kuya ezinkulu, njengedolobha umbhangqwana ofisa ukuthuthela kulo. Kodwa khumbula, ukuyekethisa okunjalo kufanele kwenziwe ngendlela enempilo, hhayi ngenkani, futhi kufanele ngaso sonke isikhathi kube okufanayo.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene : Imikhuba Eyi-8 Yemibhangqwana Ebuhlotsheni Obuqinile Nobunempilo

I-13. Ukwethembeka

Khumbula, ayikho enye indlela yobuhlobo obuthembekile . Iningi lemibhangqwana ebhekana nobunzima nobunzima bokuphila ingakwenza lokho ngoba inqume ukuhlala ithembekile komunye nomunye. Eqinisweni, ukwethembeka kuhlolwa hhayi ngezikhathi ezinhle kodwa ngezikhathi zethu ezisengozini kakhulu. Ubuhlobo buyaphumelela uma umbhangqwana uhlala uthembekile komunye nomunye naphezu kwezinkinga, izenzakalo ezingalindelekile, noma izikhathi ezinzima abadlula kuzo. Ngakho-ke, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ukugula okubulalayo, ukukhushulwa esikhundleni okudinga ukufuduka, noma ukulahlekelwa umsebenzi ngokuzumayo, uma umbhangqwana uthembekile komunye nomunye, ungadlula ezinkingeni eziningi zempilo.

I-14. Ezokuxhumana

Enye yezindinganiso eziphezulu okufanele uzibheke ebudlelwaneni ukuxhumana okuvulekile . Ukuzimisela ukuxhumana kuxazulula ingxenye yezinkinga imibhangqwana ebhekene nazo. Khuluma njalo futhi ubalalele, kungaba ngokuhlukahluka kwendlela yokuphila ebuhlotsheni noma kunoma iyiphi enye inkinga enkulu, njengezimali (kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ufuna ukutshala imali noma ukonga imali) noma umndeni (kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ufuna izingane). Abalingani bangase bafune izinto ezahlukene empilweni noma bangase bafise ukuzwa impilo ngezindlela ezahlukene. Ngakho-ke, ukuxhumana ngokucacile nangendlela enempilo komunye nomunye kusiza imibhangqwana ukuthi:

● Xazulula izinkinga ngokushesha
● Qaphela ukungezwani kwabo, uma kukhona, futhi ukulungise
● Vimbela ukungezwani okwengeziwe

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Indlela Yokulungisa Ukuntuleka Kokuxhumana Ebudlelwaneni - Amathiphu Ochwepheshe ayi-15

15. Ukulingana

Ukulingana kuyinzuzo enkulu, futhi ubudlelwano obungalingani abuvamile ukuphumelela. Lapho abalingani bephathana 'njengabalinganayo', izinkinga eziningi zobudlelwano zingaxazululwa. Futhi 'ukulingana' lapha akusho ukuthi kufanele bathole amaholo alinganayo noma batshale imali ngokulinganayo kuzo zonke izindleko. Kusho ukuthi badinga ukuphathwa njengabantu abalinganayo.

Yebo, imibhangqwana ingabamba izindima ezihlukene ebudlelwaneni. Kungaba khona umehluko wezezimali nasebudlelwaneni. Isibonelo, indoda ingaba umondli futhi inkosikazi ingaba umenzi wekhaya, kodwa okubalulekile ukuthi uma kukhona:

● Ukulingana ekuthathweni kwezinqumo
● Ukulingana kokukhetha, njengokuqinisekisa ukuthi umlingani oyedwa akaphoqi ukukhetha kwakhe komunye
● Ukulingana kwamathuba okuphishekela isifiso somuntu
● Ukulingana kokuveza izifiso zabo zenyama

Sethemba ukuthi usuyakwazi manje ukubaluleka kwamagugu obudlelwano futhi uyazi ezinye zezimiso ezibalulekile zobudlelwano okufanele izithandani zibe nazo. Kodwa-ke, awukho umgwaqo ongaguquki oya ebudlelwaneni obunempilo nokuthi yini okufanele uyixabise ebuhlotsheni ngokuvamile incike kumbhangqwana. Eqinisweni, konke kuncike kulokho nina nobabili enikwazisa kakhulu ebudlelwaneni.

Kuzofanele sizibaze ezethu izindlela ekufuneni kwayo. Ubuhle bayo lobo. Lawa mavelu angasebenza njengesethi yamathuluzi asebenzayo ukwenza lolu hambo lube lusizo. Eqinisweni, zingasetshenziswa njengezindinganiso zokuphola nazo, ngaphambi kokuzibophezela noma umshado. Kuyiqiniso, asikwazi ukunikeza uhlu lwamanani omshado oluphelele. Kodwa uma ubazisa ubuhlobo bakho, qiniseka ukuthi ubeka ingcindezi kulawa magugu angu-15 abalulekile ebuhlotsheni.

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12 Amathiphu Alula Okwakha Ubudlelwano Obunempilo

Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.

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