Imishado Nokwanda Kokungathembeki

Eminyakeni yamuva nje kuye kwaba nokwanda kokungathembeki emshadweni. Kodwa yiziphi izimbangela ezibangela ukwanda kwamaphesenti okungethembeki emshadweni? Ingabe kufanele kusolwe ukuba nomfazi oyedwa? Noma ingabe i-inthanethi nezinkundla zokuxhumana kufinyelela umlandu wokuphinga emshadweni. Sanquma ukukhuluma naye Salony Priya (Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo kanye noMqondisi we-UMEED) ngesihloko sokungathembeki nemishado.

Kuvamise Kangakanani Ukungathembeki Emshadweni?

Ukungathembeki kwande kangakanani, kuyinto abantu abakayiqondi ngokugcwele. Cishe u-20% wabashadikazi abaza kimina, beza nezindaba eziphathelene nokungathembeki emshadweni. Ngaphambili, amadoda ayephinga emshadweni ngezinga elithile lokwamukelwa. Izibalo zokungathembeki zikhomba ukuthi namuhla abantu besifazane basebudlelwaneni obuphingayo futhi abazizwa benecala ngokulala ngaphandle komshado. Banomuzwa wokuthi bathathwe kalula phakathi neminyaka edlule, bengabongwa futhi bengenabo obunikazi. Iningi lalaba besifazane abanayo imisebenzi, kodwa baphuma ezindaweni ezicebe kakhulu. “Sengihambe kwanele futhi nginawo amaKanjeevaram namadayimane anele, kodwa impilo ayigcini nje ngalezi zinto, ngicindezeleke kakhulu futhi ngiphatheke kabi, angifuni ukuqhubeka nalokhu, ngifuna ukuyiqeda. Ngezinye izikhathi, lezi yizizathu ezanele zokungathembeki.

Namuhla uma behlezi bekhumbula, bayazibuza ukuthi kade benzani yonke le minyaka. Futhi umbono womyeni uthi, “Bengilokhu nginje; angazi ukuthi inkinga yakhe iyini manje.” Indoda ayiboni ukuthi isimo sesishintshile. Izingane seziqedile ukufunda zahamba manje, umakoti/umkhwekazi banemindeni yabo, nomamezala - abenenduduzo naye - washona. Ngakho, liyanda inani elikhulayo lokungathembeki emshadweni.

• Ukuntuleka kokuxhumana okungokomzwelo noma ngokomzimba.
• Isifiso sento entsha noma i-adventure.
• Izingxabano ezingaxazululiwe noma ukucasuka.

Ingabe ngiyifenisha nje?

Manje lapho le ntokazi ihlezi ekhaya, iyaqaphela, “Le ndoda ayingikhulumisi, ngifana nefenisha yayo,” futhi zonke izinkinga zesikhathi esedlule ziyafika phambili. Ngibuza umyeni, “Yisiphi isipho ogcine ukumthengela sona?” futhi uthi, “Unayo yonke imali yasendlini, angathenga noma yini ayifunayo.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Dear Wife Of Cheating Umyeni, Yikho Ngingazizwa Nginecala

Isibalo samadoda azizwa ngale ndlela, sikhulu. Leli gebe phakathi kombono wendoda nowesifazane ngezidingo, izimfuno kanye nokugcwaliseka emshadweni, lingenye yezimbangela eziphambili zokuphinga. Ngemingcele yezenhlalo, laba bashadile abajabule, abantu abanelisekile. Namuhla ngiyajabula ukubona umyeni eza kimi ethi, “Uma ungiqondisa futhi ungitshele ukuthi yini emjabulisayo, ngikulungele ukwenza lokho.”

Iningi lamadoda liyibonile indima yawo ngokwejwayelekile njengomhlinzeki, nokuthi noma yini owesifazane ayidingayo ikakhulukazi ukuthanda izinto ezibonakalayo. Ukuqonda kwabo siqu izidingo ezingokomzwelo zowesifazane kulinganiselwe kakhulu.

Ngokuvamile umuzwa wokubaluleka nenhlonipho abesifazane abawufunayo emishadweni yabo. Abaningi besifazane abashadile banomuzwa wokuthi bagcina beyiyo kuthathwe kalula ngemva kweminyaka embalwa yomshado. Abashadile bazizwa bejabule kakhulu lapho bezizwa bebalulekile ebudlelwaneni.

Iningi labesifazane abasebasha abafundile abasebenzayo, asebenelisekile ngemisebenzi yabo, bafuna abayeni bahloniphe imibono yabo ngabanye, bathathe imibono yabo kuzo zonke izindaba ezihlanganisa nezezimali. Inkolelo evamile yomuntu wesifazane ongayiqondi ezezimali iyashintsha futhi iphonselwa inselelo.

Ukufunda okuhlobene: Ingabe ukujola kungawuthinta kahle umshado wakho?

Kungani abantu bephinga?

Izimbangela zokungathembeki zizohlala zingokomzwelo nezenhlalo. Iphesenti elikhulayo lokungathembeki libonisa ukuthi i-inthanethi, izinkundla zokuxhumana, ukufinyelela kalula kanye namazinga okushaya ucingo ashibhile amazwe ngamazwe kuyizici ezibucayi kakhulu ezenze ukuphinga kwaba nokwenzeka kakhulu. Eminyakeni engamashumi amabili edlule ubungaphupha ngomlingani wakho wasekolishi, kodwa bekungenzeka yini ukuthi ufinyelele kuye?

Ngokuba iningi ukuphinga okwenzeka namuhla, medium kuba Internet.

Futhi abaningi abashadile babamba abalingani babo ngokuphinga ngomakhalekhukhwini noma i-Internet. Abantu sebeba yi-tech-savvy futhi abaningi bane-ID ye-imeyili ehlukile abayisebenzisela ukwenza ukungathembeki emshadweni. Futhi ngokushesha noma kamuva umngane womshado uyayithola.

Uke waba namacala lapho owesilisa noma owesifazane eke wajola futhi wahlukana futhi izithandani zibuyelana? Ngabe ucabanga ukuthi umshado weminyaka eyi-15-17 kufanele uhlukane ngenxa yokungakhethi?

Emiphakathini yethu, ukuzimela kwezocansi kuseyingxenye enkulu kakhulu yomshado futhi umshado umayelana nokuzibophezela. Ngakho-ke, ukungethembeki emshadweni kuyinto evamile.

Ubudlelwane bobudlelwane bobulili buyingxenye eyinhloko yomshado wamaNdiya.

Impela kunezici ezifana nokufanelana komphakathi, isimo senhlalo kanye nezibopho zomphakathi, kodwa ngaphezu kwalokho, ukuba nomuntu okuphelele njengomlingani wocansi kuyingxenye ebaluleke kakhulu yemishado yethu. Ngokwemvelo, indoda ayiyena umfazi oyedwa, kodwa ilungiselelo lomshado limenze waba njalo. Isimiso senhlalo somshado sisekelwe ethembeni lokuthi ukuhlakanipha komuntu okungokomzwelo nezenhlalo kuyoba okuphakeme kakhulu kunezifiso zomuntu zobulili.

Ukufunda okuhlobene: U-Tara no-Chandra: Uma umlingani onganelisekile ethandana, ubani okufanele abekwe icala?

Bekulokhu kuwucansi, uthando nomshado

Sizama ukuxhumanisa ucansi, uthando nomshado. Ngeminyaka yawo-1960, kwakuwumshado, uthando bese kuba ucansi. Ngama-70s kwaba umshado, ubulili bese kuba uthando. Ngama-80s kwaba uthando, umshado, ubulili. Ngawo-90 kwaba ucansi, umshado bese kuba uthando. Manje sekuwubulili, uthando - akudingekile, luyaphela, futhi umshado, ubani owudingayo?

Abantu banomuzwa wokuthi, “Angiyidingi ingane, angiwudingi umthwalo. Ngijabule ngomsebenzi wami futhi umzimba wami udinga ucansi, ngakho-ke njengoba ngingahamba ngiyodla i-pizza, ngingahamba ngiyokwenza ucansi. Futhi kukhona ubudlelwano obuningi obunjalo; ukuthi nje laba abakaphumi baxoxe izindaba zabo.

Izinyathelo Zokuvimbela Emshadweni

• Xhumana njalo ngezidingo kanye nalokho okulindele.
• Beka kuqala ukusondelana ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba.
• Bhekana nokungqubuzana ngokushesha ukuze uvimbele ukucasuka.

U-Salony Priya unguchwepheshe wezengqondo owelulekayo oneminyaka engu-18 yesipiliyoni sokuqeqesha nokweluleka kuzo zonke izikhungo zemfundo, izinhlangano zomphakathi, ama-NGO kanye nezinkampani. UnguMqondisi we-UMMEED, isikhungo se-multispeciality positive psychology.

Imicabango Final

Ukungathembeki kubekela inselele isisekelo sokwethembana emshadweni kodwa futhi kunikeza ithuba lokuzicabangela, ukuqonda izidingo ezingahlangatshezwana, futhi, kwezinye izimo, kwakhiwe kabusha ubuhlobo obuqinile. Ukuxhumana okuvulekile, ukuziphendulela, kanye nokuqondisa kochwepheshe kubalulekile ukuze ubhekane nobunzima bokungathembeki. Nakuba kubuhlungu, ukubhekana nokungathembeki kungaholela ekukhuleni komuntu siqu kanye nobudlelwane. Abelaphi bethu abanolwazi balapha ukuze basize. Sinikeza isiqondiso esinozwela, esingahluleli ukubhekana nezimbangela, ukuphulukisa amanxeba angokomzwelo, nokubuyisela ukuxhumana.

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Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.

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