Sekukaningi sizwa ngokwelulekwa kwabashadile noma ukwelulekwa kwabashadile. Siyazi ukuthi kudinga ubuchwepheshe futhi kuyinqubo lapho umshado wakho ubonakala usemaweni. Ukuze uvuselele umshado wakho, lungisa izinkinga ezithile zokuxhumana futhi uqale impilo yomshado enempilo, ukwelulekwa ngomshado kuyindlela ethandwayo. Kodwa iyini ngempela imigomo eqondile yokwelulekwa komshado? Yini oyitholayo ngokubona umeluleki? Futhi lokho kuzixazulula kanjani ngempela izinkinga zakho zobudlelwano?
Eminyakeni yamuva nje, ububanzi bendlela yokwelapha emshadweni bulokhu bukhula kancane kancane. Ilungiselelo lomshado kumelwe kubhekwane nalo ngokungathi sína. Umshado awugcini nje ngokushintsha ukusebenzisana kwakho nendawo okuzungezile kodwa futhi ukuguqule njengomuntu ngezinga elikhulu. Yonke le nqubo yokwamukela imizwa yomunye umuntu kuyilapho ulondoloza eyakho ifika nezithiyo zayo. Futhi lapho izinto ziqala ukuba nzima, kungase kuzwakale sengathi yonke into iza kuwena.
Uma ubuzizwa 'ubambekile' emshadweni wakho noma ubucabanga ukuqala ukwelashwa kwezithandani kodwa ungenasiqiniseko ngakho, usufike endaweni efanele namuhla. Ukwelapha kungase kubonakale kusabisa kancane ekuqaleni. Futhi uma wena nomlingani wakho ningakakulungeli, lokho kulungile. Sisengakwazi ukukutshela konke mayelana nobubanzi bokwelashwa komshado futhi unganquma ngokuhamba kwesikhathi ukuthi lokhu kungokwakho noma cha.
Ngemibono kadokotela wezengqondo ophezulu UDkt. Prashant Bhimani (Ph.D., BAMS), onguchwepheshe kwezokwelulekwa ngobudlelwano kanye ne-hypnotherapy, sihlanganise imigomo embalwa edingekayo yokwelulekwa komshado. Ngezansi sikhulume ngenhloso yokwelulekwa ngemishado nendlela yokuyifeza. Ngakho-ke susa zonke izinkathazo zakho, njengoba singakwazi ukusula ukungabaza kwakho unomphela.
Uzibekela Kanjani Izinhloso Zokwelashwa Kwezithandani?
Okuqukethwe
Ukweluleka kuyinqubo ende, ethinta imizwa futhi akufanele ithathwe ngokunganaki. Izinjongo eziqondile zokwelulekwa ngomshado kufanele zibekwe ngokucophelela ukuze uqale uhambo lwakho lokuqonda kangcono umlingani wakho futhi uzuze impumelelo. umshado onempilo. Lezi zinhloso zenziwa futhi zishunyayelwe ochwepheshe bezengqondo abahlonishwayo ukuze basize imibhangqwana ikwazi ukubhekana nezinkinga zayo.
Abeluleki bemibhangqwana baveza ukuthi imibhangqwana ehlukene ibhekana nezinkinga ezihlukene, yingakho benezinjongo zabo ezihlukile zesikhashana zokwelashwa. Abeluleki abaningi bomshado balungiselela imigomo eqondile yokubhekana nezinkinga ezithile zobuhlobo. Kodwa eminye imigomo ehlukahlukene iyasebenza kubo bonke. Kunezinto ezithile ezivamile izithandani ezihlose ukuzifinyelela ngokwelashwa - ukuxhumana okungcono, ukuthola amakhono okuxazulula izinkinga noma ukufunda ukuphatha izingxabano ngendlela enempilo.
UJohn noJulie Gottman basungula i-Gottman Method yokwelulekwa kwabashadile ngokwenza ucwaningo lwesayensi emibhangqwaneni engu-3,000 eminyakeni engu-40. Yabo sondela amaphuzu avelele ukubaluleka kokuhlola nokuthuthukiswa kwamakhono ekulawuleni ukungqubuzana, ukunqoba izithiyo, ukwandisa ukuqonda, ukulungisa ubuhlungu obudlule, kanye nokuthuthukisa ukuxhumana ebuhlotsheni.
Ngakho-ke ukusetha imigomo yokwelashwa kwezithandani, uqala ngokubheka izinkinga ezithile onazo bese usebenzela ukubhekana nazo. Kulesi sihloko, siye sangena emkhakheni obanzi wokwelashwa komshado, ngomqondo wesethi yemigomo evamile engasebenza emibhangqwaneni eminingi.
Yiziphi Izinjongo Zokwelulekwa Ngomshado?
Ukhuluma ngani ekululekweni komshado? Ingabe ikhona imigomo yesikhathi esifushane yokwelapha imibhangqwana? Liyini ngempela iphuzu lokwelapha imibhangqwana? Umqondo wakho cishe uphithene ngale mibuzo njengamanje njengoba uzama ukunquma ukuthi kufanele yini ukhethe ukwelulekwa ngomshado noma cha.
Into eyodwa esingakutshela yona ngokuqinisekile ukuthi isiqondiso somelaphi onokuhlangenwe nakho siyowenza izimanga emshadweni wakho. Ngeziqondiso zokwelulekwa ngomshado ezihambisana nezidingo zakho eziyingqayizivele, umelaphi onekhono ngempela angakubeka wena nomlingani wakho endleleni efanele.
Izinkinga zenu ziyasebenza kodwa sikhona ukuzozikhulula. Ngalezi zibonelo ezingu-15 zemigomo yokwelulekwa ngomshado, uzoba nombono ongcono kakhulu wokuthi le nqubo injani. Ngakho-ke ngaphandle kokuchitha isikhathi, masingene kukho.
1. Ungawajwayeza kanjani amakhono okuxazulula izinkinga
Iphuzu eliphelele lokuqala ukwelashwa kwabashadile ukufunda amakhono okuxazulula izinkinga ukuze ubhekane kangcono nobudlelwano bakho. Izinkinga zobudlelwane vuka emishadweni lapho singakwazi ukuqonda umbono womunye umuntu, samukele ukuthi lokho kwehluka kungokwemvelo futhi sithole ikhambi elinengqondo lokubhekana nakho.
Ngakho, ngokusho kukaDkt. Bhimani, imibhangqwana kudingeka igxile kakhulu ekuzivumelaniseni nezimo nokwamukela ngezandla ezimhlophe. Uthi, “Silindele ukuba abantu babe ngendlela ethile kodwa empeleni wonke umuntu uhluke kakhulu. Uthando nokufanelana emshadweni kudinga ukwamukelwa nokuqondiswa. Yingakho imibhangqwana kufanele ilwele ukufeza lokho futhi sibasize bakwenze lokho ngezikhathi zokweluleka.”
2. Indlela yokubhekana nokungaboni ngaso linye
Kungacatshangwa ukuthi zonke izinkinga zomshado zingaxazululwa ngokukhulumisana okunekhono nangempumelelo. Lokho kuyindlela engcono kakhulu yokubhekana nokungezwani ebudlelwaneni benu. “Ngiyavuma ukungavumelani”, umbono uDkt. Bhimani avame ukugcizelela kuwo phakathi nezikhathi zokweluleka.
Uthi, “Ngisho nezinto ezifana nokuhamba ngezinyawo noma ukuhamba ibanga elide ndawonye zingakusiza kakhulu ekubekeni amagqubu eceleni. isikhathi sekhwalithi ndawonye, ukukhuluma nomunye kahle kuyingxenye yokukhulumisana okuhle. Ngisho nokulalela nokunaka umculo womunye nomunye kuyikhambi eliphumelelayo ekunqamukeni okukhulayo. Ukuchitha isikhathi nezingane zakho futhi ukhulume okwengeziwe nakho ngokuvamile kungase kuqede intukuthelo ngoba kunikeza umbono obanzi.”
3. Izifundo zokulawula intukuthelo iphuzu lokwelapha imibhangqwana
Iphuzu eliphelele lokwelashwa kwabashadile ukuqonda ukuthi ungayilawula kanjani intukuthelo yakho kangcono okuzokwenza ube nekhono lokubhekana nezinkinga ebudlelwaneni bakho. Intukuthelo iyithuluzi eliyingozi elingavela ezindabeni ezihlukahlukene. Kodwa uma usheshe uyibambe, ukuphila kwakho kuzovuma ngokushesha.
UDkt. Bhimani uthi, "Lapho umlingani wakho ebonakala ethukuthele futhi ethukuthele, kufanele uzame ukwehlisa izinga lakho lokucasuka ukuze ugweme ukushisa umoya osuvele ushubile. Uma umuntu ethukuthele, kuwumthwalo wemfanelo womunye ukuzola futhi asikisele ukuthi bavele bakhulume ngakho kamuva. Umqondo wonke uwukugwema ingxabano evuthayo engenangqondo futhi ukhulume lapho bobabili benokuthula kwengqondo."
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ngiyeka Kanjani Ukuhlukumeza Umkami?
4. Ukuqonda izindaba eziqala ebuntwaneni
Umuntu angasho ukuthi enye yezinhloso zesikhashana zokwelashwa kwemibhangqwana ukuqonda izimbangela ezibangela ukuziphatha okuguquguqukayo, okungaqondakali kanye nezinkinga zabo bobabili abalingani emshadweni. Ukuqala ukwelashwa kwemibhangqwana kungakhanyisa njengoba izinkinga eziningi zezingane zingase zivelele kulokhu. Ukukhula kobuntwana kuzibonakalisa ekusebenzelaneni kwethu okuhlukahlukene njengabantu abadala.
Lapho ingane encane ethintekayo ibona ukuxabana kwabazali njalo, iye yabhekana nokuningi amaphutha okukhulisa izingane, bangase bawafake ngaphakathi lawo maphethini futhi balingise ekuphileni kwabo komshado. Umuntu angase akhule abe nempi kakhudlwana, abonise ukungazethembi okukhulu, futhi mhlawumbe aze abe nemikhaza enjengokuluma izinzipho.
Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi ngeke kube lula ukukhipha lesi sici sobuntu bomuntu. Kodwa-ke, ukubhekana nakho ngomlomo nangokukhululekile ekwelapheni futhi kudluliselwe ngempumelelo lawo mandla kuba abaluleke kakhulu. Ukubona ukuthi lokhu kungadala inkinga enkulu kuphakathi kwezinhloso ezibaluleke kakhulu zokwelashwa kwezithandani.
5. Indlela yokukhuluma ngobuhlakani nokulalela kahle itholakala ngaphansi kokwelashwa komshado
Umgomo oyinhloko wokwelulekwa ngomshado uwukuthuthukisa amakhono okuxoxa. Lokhu ngeke nje kubhekane nezinkinga zamanje ezifana nesithukuthezi noma ukunganeliseki ebudlelwaneni kodwa kuyikhono eliyohlala liwusizo empilweni yakho yomshado. Eqinisweni, kungase kube usizo ekusebenzelaneni kwakho nabanye abantu futhi. Amakhono amahle okulalela abalulekile kunoma yiluphi uhlobo lokuxhumana.
Ukuze kuthuthukiswe ubudlelwano obunempilo, umuntu udinga ukunaka, ukwazi nokulangazelela ukulalela umlingani wakhe. Ubudlelwano buba bubi uma kukhona ukuwohloka kokuxhumana. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kubalulekile ukwazi ukuthi ungazisho kanjani izimpikiswano zakho ukuze uveze owakho umbono ngesimo esithile kodwa futhi wamukele imizwa yomlingani wakho.
"Silindele ukuthi abalingani baqondane kodwa abantu kufanele bakhulume ngokucacile futhi baziveze ngamazwi futhi. Ukulwa noma ukuxabana noma ukuthukuthela akuzona izindlela ezisebenzayo zokubhekana nesimo. Umuntu kufanele akhulume ngokucacile nangomqondo ovulekile," kusho uDkt. Bhimani. Amandla amazwi awapheli futhi kufanele asetshenziswe ngokucophelela ukuze ube nezingxoxo ezithela izithelo emshadweni wakho.
6. Ukugxeka ngendlela eyakhayo
Njengoba sekushiwo, amagama anamandla angapheli, ikakhulukazi ebuhlotsheni. Manje kuzovela ukugxekwa ngokungezwani kwethu nabantu, akuyona into esingayenza noma okufanele simane siyiqede. Ukugxeka okwakhayo kubalulekile ukuze kuhlaziywe ukuthi yini engase yenza ubudlelwano behle futhi kusebenzele ukulungisa lokho ngokuphelele.
Ngakho-ke, indawo ezolile, isimo sengqondo esigxilile kanye nezindlebe ezivulekile konke kubalulekile ukuze uxazulule izinkinga zakho futhi uveze obekukukhathaza ngomlingani wakho. “Bavumele bawuqonde ngokugcwele umbono wakho futhi ubavumele baveze imizwa yabo nabo.Ukugxeka kwakho kubalulekile kodwa indlela abasabela ngayo lapho ugxeka kufanele kubhekwe,” kusho uDkt.
Ungase ucabange ukuthi ingubo umlingani wakho ayigqokile akuyona into engcono kakhulu ayikhethayo. Ukuba nalowo mbono kuvumelekile. Kodwa umuntu uyibeka kanjani ngaphesheya? Yilokho okufanele ukufunde futhi kuza ngaphansi kokwelashwa komshado.
7. Ungawaqeda kanjani amazwi alimazayo
Ububanzi bokwelashwa komshado buhlanganisa nokuxoxa ngezingxabano zesikhathi esidlule nezikhalo zomuntu siqu. Izikhathi eziningi, ngesinye isikhathi ngisho nezizathu ezingahlobene nhlobo, sivame ukwenza noma ukusho izinto okungenzeka singaziqondile ngokuphelele. Sivame ukuveza ngokuxhamazela ukungqubuzana kwangaphakathi ngezindlela ezingafanele futhi siveze imizwa yethu nemizwelo kozakwethu.
Nakuba lezi zimo zingagwemeki ngokuphelele ngenxa yemizabalazo yawo wonke umuntu, kubalulekile ukuba xolisa ngobuqotho ngokuhamba kwesikhathi futhi nikhulume ngokukhululekile. Lapho sizinika isikhathi sokucabangisisa nokucubungula imizwa yethu ngokomuntu siqu, izingxoxo zethu kanye nokuxolisa kungaba okuhlakaniphe kakhulu futhi kusuke enhliziyweni kamuva njengoba igagasi lokukhungatheka selidlulile kuze kube yileso sikhathi.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izinto Eziyi-12 Ezilimazayo Okufanele Wena Noma Umlingani Wakho Nizisho Komunye Nomunye
8. Ukuqonda ukuthi ubudlelwano behla nini
Lesi ngesinye sezibonelo ezibaluleke kakhulu zemigomo yokwelulekwa ngomshado. Uma ungena ehhovisi lomeluleki, cishe into yokuqala eniyenza nonke ndawonye ukunquma futhi niqonde ukuthi izinto ziqale kuphi ukungahambi kahle. Ubudlelwano noma umshado ungaba nezikhathi zawo eziphansi izikhathi eziningi phakathi nenkambo yawo. Akuyona into okufanele ukhathazeke ngayo kodwa idinga ukuqashelwa ngesikhathi ukuze uqiniseke ukuthi ungakwazi ukuhamba ngesigaba sidlula ngokushesha.
Njengabantu, akuzona zonke izinto esizenzayo eziyobe ziphelele. Kunezikhathi lapho imishado yakho ingase ibonakale ingaphumeleli kodwa inqobo nje uma ukwazi ukubona kahle ukuthi yini edala izinkinga futhi ulungise indlela yokuzulazula kuyo leyo nto, umshado ungaqina kunakuqala.
Ukwelashwa kwezithandani kungaba umsebenzi onezithelo kuphela uma bobabili abalingani bevumile ukuthi kukhona inkinga. Ezinye izinkomba zokuthi ubudlelwano buguge, ngokusho kukaDkt. Prashant Bhimani, ukushoda kokuxhumana, ukoma ekusebenzelaneni, ukucasuka, ukwehla kobudlelwano bocansi, ukungathandi ukuphuma ndawonye, ukuxabana njalo.
9. Indlela yokuqeda ukungabi nandaba
“Ukunikezana indawo ekahle yokuphefumula kuvame ukugcizelelwa phakathi nezikhathi zokwelulekwa komshado.” Ngeshwa, kuyinto imibhangqwana ehluleka kaningi ukukuvuma. Abanye abantu bavunyelwe ukuba nemizwa engahambisani nemizwa yethu. Ukuntuleka kwalokhu kuqonda kungadala isimo esingakhululekile kakhulu kubo bobabili abashadile, "kusho uDkt. Bhimani.
Abantu banezintambo ngabanye. Ngakho lapho ukuhamba kuba nzima, ukuzindla komuntu ngamunye kanye isikhala somuntu siqu ziyisihluthulelo sokwakha isikhala esihle ebudlelwaneni bakho. Ngaphezu kwalokho, okuningi kokunganaki kumane kudalwe ngenxa yokuqagela kwethu imizwa nokungazethembi.
UDkt. Bhimani uyanezela, "Ngisho nomlayezo ojwayelekile ku-WhatsApp uma ungaphendulwanga umlingani wakho, kodwa ubona imikhaza eluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka, kungakwenza uzizwe ungajabulile. Lena i-negativity creep in. Iqiniso livame ukuhluka kakhulu ekucabangeni kwethu kanye nemibono yethu, futhi kufanele sinikeze abalingani bethu inzuzo yokungabaza ukuze bagweme ukukhipha imicabango engalungile. Lokho kufanele kube enye yemigomo yomshado."
10. Ungasho kanjani ukuthi “Ngiyabonga” ungomunye wemigomo yesikhathi esifushane yokwelashwa kwabashadile
Ukubonisa ukubonga kuyisici esincane sokubonisa inhlonipho ejulile ngomlingani wakho. Lokhu kufanele kwenziwe yibo bobabili abalingani ebudlelwaneni kaningi. Nokho, izindawo zasemaphandleni eNdiya azikuboni okuningi kwalokhu. Abantu basemadolobheni amancane abasiboni isidingo sokuthi “Ngiyabonga” kakhulu ngoba imindeni egcwele abesilisa ivame ukubathatha kalula abesifazane.
"Kodwa-ke, ubudlelwano sebuqala ukusebenza ngendlela ehlukile ezindaweni zasemadolobheni. Abesifazane bayahlonishwa futhi banconywa kakhulu, futhi ukubonga kuwumkhuba abawenzayo futhi bayawuthokozela," kusho uDkt. Bhimani. Ukubonga njalo nje kuyisenzo esilula kodwa kubaluleke kakhulu ebudlelwaneni. Omunye wemigomo yesikhathi esifushane yokwelapha imibhangqwana kungaba ukufunda ukubonga nokwazisa ngemizamo yomunye nomunye.
11. Izibonelo zezinhloso zokwelulekwa ngomshado - Ukubuyisela ukusondelana
Ukwelulekwa kwabashadile akuphelele ngaphandle kokukhuluma ngokusondelana phakathi kwabashadile. Iziphonso ezomile zingakhungathekisa impela, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ezemvelo yothando noma ezocansi kuphela. Ubudlelwano bocansi bubaluleke kakhulu kubashadikazi abasebasha nabaneminyaka ephakathi.
UDkt. Bhimani uyachaza, “Abesilisa bavame ukugxila kakhulu esicini somzimba sobudlelwano futhi abesifazane bakhathazeke kakhulu ngezimo ezithinta imizwa. ukuhambisana ngokocansi nokugcina ukuphila komshado okunempilo.”
Izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo kufanele ziqondise imibhangqwana ukuthi ihlanganyele eqophelweni elithile elithi "sichitha isikhathi" kunokuba "isikhathi sami" nje. Enye into ebalulekile egcizelelwa ngesikhathi sokwelashwa kwemibhangqwana umkhuba wokuxhumana ngocansi. "Kudingeka ukuxhumana okwengeziwe ngoba imibhangqwana eminingi ayikhulumi ngesikhathi socansi futhi igwema ukudlala ngaphambi kwesikhathi nangemuva kokudlala kufanele kube khona," kwengeza uDkt. Bhimani.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Imingcele Eyishumi Yobudlelwano Obunempilo Okufanele Uyilandele
12. Ukusebenzela ubungane
Lapho uqala ukwelashwa kwabashadile, yazi ukuthi lokhu kungenye yezinto eziphambili ozofunda ukuzenza. “Ezikhathini zasendulo ubungane babungeyona ngempela imfuneko eyinhloko emishadweni, kodwa namuhla kubalulekile ukuze umshado uthele. Umshado usungaphezu nje kokuhlukaniswa kwemithwalo yemfanelo nokushintshisana ngemizwa. Ukuze ube okuhlangenwe nakho kwenhliziyo yonke nokuphelele, kumelwe kube khona ubungane phakathi kombhangqwana,” kusho uDkt. Bhimani.
Ukuphila okuhambisanayo, ngezinye izikhathi, kuyodinga isimo sengqondo sokudlala nesinobungane kungakhathaliseki ukuthi wena nophathina wakho nibadala kangakanani. Ubumnandi obuncane noma ukubhuqa akusoze kwaletha ukulimala kunoma yibuphi ubudlelwano empilweni yakho. Kungani ungazilolongi nalowo omthandayo ophinde abe umlingani wakho wempilo?
13. Ungaxolisa kanjani futhi umxolele umuntu wakho
Izingxabano kanye izimpikiswano zobudlelwano iyohlala ikhona phakathi kombhangqwana. Njengabantu, kungokwemvelo ukungavumelani nokuvikela. Kodwa okwenezela ukubaluleka kokuhlangenwe nakho indlela umbhangqwana ofunda ngayo ukunqoba futhi ulungise lokho kungezwani ukuze ubuyele endaweni evumelanayo ebuhlotsheni babo.
Ukushada nokwamukela umuntu empilweni yakho kudinga ukuthi wamukele konke ukungaboni ngaso linye kanye nezingqinamba zakho. Kuye ngesimo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kuyithuba lakho lokugoba idolo noma ukuququda, kufanele ukwenze ngothando nangokucophelela okukhulu. Leso ngesinye sezibonelo eziyinhloko zemigomo yokwelulekwa ngomshado.
“Uma ungakujwayeli ukuxolelana ebudlelwaneni bakho kusho ukuthi awumamukeli omunye, kufanele futhi ukulungele ukuzishintsha futhi ulungise uma kukhona okungahambi kahle, yingakho kubalulekile ukwazi ukuthi uxolisa kanjani kumuntu wakho,” kuchaza uDkt Bhimani.
14. Qonda abantu abahlukene kanye nezitayela zabo zokusebenza
Ngamunye wethu ukhule ngendlela ehlukile futhi waba nokuhlangenwe nakho komuntu ngamunye. Ukuhluka kwethu yikho okusenza sithandeke kwabanye abantu. Kodwa ngokuvamile, ukuhluka okuningi noma ukuhluka okuningi kungaphazamisa ukuphila kwansuku zonke. Ukuqonda umehluko kuzoba omunye wemigomo yethu eyinhloko yokwelulekwa komshado.
"Ubuntu obuhlukene bungokwemvelo. Kodwa ukuthuthukisa ukuqonda okuhle kubaluleke kakhulu. Kungani kufanele sizame ngisho nokwenza omunye umuntu afane ncamashi nathi? Kufanele sibanike inkululeko yokuba bona ngokwabo. Lokho kuwukuqonda kwangempela emshadweni. Kumelwe futhi sibamukele futhi senze ukusebenzisana okuhle phakathi kwazo zombili izinhlobo zobuntu. Yilokho umbhangqwana okufanele ukufunde kahle ekwelapheni," kusho uDkt. Bhimani.
15. Ukwakha uhlelo lwenani elihlanganyelwe yiphuzu lokwelapha kwabashadile
UDkt. Bhimani uyasitshela, “Umshado ngamunye unesimo sawo somshado.Isimiso sokubaluleka yinto ebaluleke kakhulu futhi eshintshayo njalo.Isimilo somshado ngamunye sihlukile.Eminye imibhangqwana inabo imishado evulekile kuyilapho abanye beqinile emibonweni enjengokwethembeka.”
Uma nje abashadile sebexoxile kahle ngokuthi balindele ukuthi umshado wabo ube luhlobo luni lomlingiswa, izinto kufanele zihambe kahle uma kuqhathaniswa. Ukwelashwa komshado kungasiza imibhangqwana ukuba iveze lolo mlingisi kubo.
Ngakho, singavuma ngokuphelele ukuthi lezi zici ezingenhla zingasebenza njengohlu lokuhlola izici eziyisisekelo zomshado wakho. Noma ngabe yonke imishado inobuntu bayo, uhambo kanye nezinsizi, kunezindlela ezimbalwa ezijwayelekile zokwenza isipiliyoni senelise ukwabelana nomlingani wakho wempilo.
Uma usaqala ukwelapha izithandani noma ubucabanga ngakho, sithemba ukuthi manje usunombono ofanele wokuthi yini ongayilindela. Sekushiwo lokho, sikufisela inhlanhla ohambweni lwakho olungaphambili. Uma ungakamehlisi umeluleki okwamanje, singayixazulula leyo nkinga khona lapha futhi. I-Bonobology inephaneli yabelaphi abanekhono okuyi-a chofoza kude ukuxazulula zonke izinkinga zomshado wakho.
Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa
Eminye imigomo emihle yomshado iwukuthuthukisa amakhono okuxazulula izinkinga nawokuxazulula izingxabano, ukugxeka okwakhayo nokugwema amazwi alimazayo, ukusebenzela ukwakha ubungane nokusondelana, ukuthi “ngiyabonga” nokuthi “ngiyaxolisa” kaningi. Futhi, ukuqonda izindaba ezingase zibe nezimpande ebuntwaneni nakho kubalulekile.
Isihluthulelo umshado ophumelelayo yakha ukwethembana nokuqonda, ukwabelana ngezibopho kanye nokweseka omunye nomunye. Iziteshi zokuxhumana kufanele zihlale zivulekile futhi kufanele kube nokusondelana ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba.
Kufanele ubuze umeluleki wakho wemishado ukuthi ungazixazulula kanjani izinkinga zomshado wakho futhi uwenze uqine. Cela umeluleki wakho ukuthi akunikeze imihlahlandlela yokwelulekwa ngomshado kanye nemigomo ongayifinyelela isinyathelo esisodwa ngesikhathi.
I-American Association Of Marriage And Family Therapy (AAMFT) ithi kuyo iwebhusayithi ukuthi umshado kanye nokwelashwa komndeni kusebenza ngempumelelo, futhi kwezinye izimo kusebenza kakhulu, kunokwelashwa okujwayelekile kanye/noma komuntu ngamunye. I-AAMFT iphinda u-98% wamakhasimende odokotela bomshado kanye nabelaphi bomndeni babika izinsiza zokwelapha njengezinhle noma zizinhle kakhulu.
9 Izinzuzo Ezifakazelwe Zokwelulekwa - Ungahlupheki Ngokuthula
Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
